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One of the wise people of the past once said that the mistakes of doctors and teachers cost humanity the most. I don’t know about the whole of humanity (I’m not so wise as to think so globally), but within the framework of one person, parents' mistakes definitely cost the most.

Yes, that's right, and nothing else. Because often the mistakes that our parents (or we as parents ourselves) make then affect the lives of children too much, and cause too much pain. Such as, for example, the mistakes listed in this viral thread in the AskReddit community.

#1

"What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) “I fed you, bathed you and made sure I kept a roof over your head. Now you owe ME.”

janejennie , Tuấn Kiệt Jr Report

#2

"What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Turning a child against their other parent. Parental alienation because *you* hate the other parent. So damn selfish.

Immajustbrowse19 , Ksenia Chernaya Report

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Laura Lett
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Children should never be used as weapons against the other parent. No matter what happened. Be a grown up.Just don't do that, it made my siblings and I have issues.

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#3

"What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Letting your kid(s) annoy people without repercussions ex: Kicking the back of an airline seat

_three_piece_suit , Natã Romualdo Report

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Mike Y
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If your child perceives that they can do no wrong, they will proceed to do very little right.

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In fact, we are not talking about egregious cases at all, like insults or beatings. It happens that carelessly thrown words, unexpressed attention or sympathy, and just a lack of mental warmth cause no less pain. Unfortunately, these cases happen all over the place. And almost all of us have in our memory some resentment against our parents...

#4

"What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Using the children for content

Quiet-Rip-6063 , aisletwentytwo Report

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TeenieMeanie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m genuinely curious about this. I live in the US and there are strict child labor laws regarding child actors. If parents are monetizing their children on video on the reg, are they/shouldn’t they be held to the same standards?

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#5

"What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Belittling your child's hobbies and interests just because they are different from what you like. Your child is their own person, not just a miniature copy of you.

Random-Username7272 , Polesie Toys Report

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Stardust she/her
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom constantly makes fun of me for being interested in science (more specifically astronomy) as she believes that almost everything astronomers say is false. She says that the universe is 5000 years old and the big bang is not real, aliens are not possible, evolution is false etc.

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#6

"What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Forcing kids to hug people when they don’t want to

CrystalQueen3000 , Jonathan Borba Report

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Stardust she/her
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My dad “attacks” me from the behind with a hug and that makes me panic a lot. He says he does this because I’m “not a loving person” because I hate being hugged.

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On the other hand, which one of us is perfect? Even the best parents make mistakes sometimes. "Have you made mistakes as a parent? Join the club. The bad news is that you're human, like all parents. So we all fall short," writes Laura Markham, PhD., in her column for Psychology Today. "The good news is, your child does not need perfect parents. In fact, if your child sees you as perfect, he'll feel worse about himself, since he knows he's not. What your child needs from you is a model of how to be a graceful human."

"That means admitting when you've been wrong. Being willing to grow. Giving yourself support to do better. Working hard to regulate your own emotions instead of acting like a crazy person, no matter what your child does."

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#7

"What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) I met a 300 pound 12 year old girl. All her mom fed her was Burger King.

Wooden-Discount7884 , Leo Arslan Report

#8

"What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Cussing at or insulting your children, especially in public.

I was in the electronics section of Walmart the other day and a kid was nearby looking at video games. The mother, presumably, comes over and starts dropping F bombs at him, saying she didn’t have money for any “stupid f’ing” games and to get his “dumbass” over here etc.

Broke my heart. I grew up poor. I new we couldn’t afford many toys or video games, but I would always hang out in the toy aisle or video game area while my mom would shop for groceries. Then she would come get me when she was done. No yelling, as she knew where I was the whole time. I knew we couldn’t afford those things so I never asked. I just wanted to admire everything. This poor kid could’ve been doing the same. Just window shopping, knowing he couldn’t have anything.

Exotic-Squirrel , Tatiana Syrikova Report

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Stardust she/her
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My dad loves to yell at my family in public. There was one time where I started talking loudly without realising so my mom told me to be quiet but my dad started shouting and mimicking me loudly so I started crying and more people started to look at us. Why is he like that?

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#9

"What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) If you're always pointing out the negative of your kids personality or ability, they are going to live up to that. Accentuate the positive.

TimeTraveler3056 , Virginia State Parks Report

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Lakota Wolf
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m adopted. My mom spent my entire life, since early childhood, telling me that my biological mom is a “druggie” and a “junkie” and an “alcoholic” and that I’d end up just like her. (And that I should be “grateful” that she’d adopted me.) After my dad’s death two years ago, amidst a really bad period of time with my boyfriend, I found out some of my co-workers had access to drugs and I started using. I also got blackout drunk a few times. I figured since my mom always said I was “definitely” to become a junkie after all, I might as well use drugs. Good work, Mom, looks like I became a “druggie” and “junkie” after all, just like you told me I would! (The good news: I’m 7 months clean and sober! I’m more than my adoptive mom’s prophecies.)

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However, understanding the problem is essentially the first step towards solving it. So if you saw yourself in one of the points of our selection today, do not rush to get upset. There is always a chance to fix things. Almost always. As Georgie Gray, ISW-S, a therapist in private practice, outlined in YourTeenMag, after realizing a mistake, you need to, firstly, apologize to the child, and secondly, respond with intention, rather than reacting in anger.

Next, just try to set limits when you're calm and talk about them with your child. And, of course, work hard to repair the relationship with them. No one says that this path will be short and easy. But parenting is not about taking the easy way at all, is it?

#10

"What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Refusing to admit to their child that they were wrong or made a mistake. It's really common to feel like you can never admit to being wrong because it would undermine your authority, but all you're doing is modeling emotional immaturity, breeding resentment, and setting your child up for terrible relationship dynamics in the future.

goosie7 , cottonbro studio Report

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Laura Lett
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We are all human. We make mistakes. Own your mistakes. Grow as a person. Your child will learn to be stronger. You will be stronger.

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#11

"What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) When your child is scared of you

WiccanNonbinaryWitch , Pixabay Report

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Tamra
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My dad thought that if we feared him that meant we respected him. Wrong. Fear is not respect. We feared and hated him.

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#12

"What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) 1. Give kid an order to do something without instructing them on what to do.
2. Watch them fail at the task and then berate their intelligence and swear at them.

folklorebetty , Yan Krukau Report

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Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This kind of b******t also happens to the kids after they’re all grown up. I have had too many a*****e authoritarian bosses who pulled stunts like this—-and heaven forbid you ask them to clarify what they want. They get pissed off because they either don’t have the vocabulary to clarify what they want, or think you asking them to do it is disrespectful, as if turning in work that’s not what they wanted isn’t disrespectful—-unless it’s in the context of you robbing them of an opportunity to rant and rave at you. I am not psychic, and even if I was I couldn’t see through all the s**t inside their craniums. When I was young, I didn’t ask because I didn’t want to get yelled at, but got yelled at anyway because it wasn’t what the boss wanted. Then I got older and bolder, and would ask clarifying questions. If they yelled, I then asked them if they want it done correctly or not; I’m glad to give it to them either way, but really think they’d prefer it to be right. Believe it or not, that got me a bit of respect from some of the a******s. But it also put me on the others’ s**t lists. I preferred to take that risk, tbh.

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In any case, the main thing is not so much not to make any mistakes in raising children, but not to repeat them and, of course, not to make them the norm. So please feel free to scroll to the very end of this list and maybe add some more of your own ideas which parenting mistakes are best avoided in order to make your kid's childhood as it should be - sunny, joyful and happy.

#13

"What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Not bothering to get a child a diagnosis when it’s needed. Usually the reasons are the parents don’t want to deal with the stigma of the diagnosis and/or don’t want the extra work of appointments/therapies/etc.

paul_rudds_drag_race , Collin Guernsey Report

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Stardust she/her
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My parents just think it’s a waste of time and money getting diagnosis for their 2 kids. My brother has always struggled in school and the teachers told them to consider getting a diagnosis but they didn’t listen and instead tried to beat him and yell. It didn’t work as you’d expect and he’s struggling socially as everyone thinks he’s weird

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#14

"What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Getting more upset by the people your uncontrolled kids are bothering in restaurants/airplanes/etc. than your kids’ terrible behavior.

smp501 , Anna Shvets Report

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StrangeOne
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have no qualms grilling someone else's kid. Someone's gotta teach them. Meet the village. I'm part of that village.

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#15

"What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) "I'm big, you're little. I'm smart, you're dumb. I'm right, you're wrong."

Worried_pet_Potato , freestocks.org Report

#16

"What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) "My parents did it to me and I turned out fine!"

howboutthat101 , Victoria Rain Report

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Laura Lett
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Did you? Really?! But ,that doesn't explain why your children don't like you.

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#17

"What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Shoving a screen in front of your 2 year old's face to keep them entertained 24/7.

Gimmesumfreespeech , madgerly Report

#18

"What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Taking someone's door away. I never understood some parents who did this.

Awkotaco95 , Ben Fitzgerald-O'Connor Report

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LAS
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This happened to me, twice, and actually I think my parents did the right thing at the time. I would just stand in my room and slam my door over and over and over again when I was upset, so they took it away, for like a week each time. It helped me to realize that I needed to talk thru what was bothering me.

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#19

"What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Thinking you know more about the kids mental state than they do.

"Pfft, I know you're not depressed, I would know!" Oh really? Because you didn't notice the self-harm scars until I pointed it out. 3 years later.

I've seen this situation play out far too often. Listen to your kid, you do not know them better than they know themselves, no one does.

TheNerdMaster69 , Pixabay Report

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#20

"What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Shaming their child in front of people. Also, not teaching their child manners. Simple please and thank you can go a long way.

teacherof4sand5s , Suparada Intharoek Report

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Laura Lett
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The excuse I was given was , that's how her mother was. I wouldn't want to do that to any child.

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#21

"What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Not showing compassion, and patience when their child makes a mistake.

jamminjalepeno , cottonbro studio Report

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James016
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We are the other way. Our son can go into a meltdown if he makes a mistake so we have to calm him down and tell him it’s ok. Mistakes are how we learn. Just try again when you want to.

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#22

"What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) I am not a jehovah witness like my mom so one day she told me she doesn't wanna know anything about my life. I'll never forget that

anon , cottonbro studio Report

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Leigh
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom is a jehovah witness and a bigot. Two of her kids are being shunned. It's sad my nephew can't meet his aunt or uncle and he's being brainwashed by the jw culture. I know a lot of kids have been molested and the watchtower society refuses to reveal abusers to the police.

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#23

"What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) This is a personal one..... staying in a loveless marriage. My parents are in one but don't get divorced and it f****d me up real good.

JKolodne , Kumon Report

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Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sometimes it’s better to come from a broken home than to live in one, especially if you’re a child. My parents did this too. Taught me absolutely nothing about what a good relationship looks like. As a result, my young adulthood was full of dead end or bad relationships. Took me until my later thirties to realize I needed to look for someone I really clicked with and be in a good working relationship, instead of ending up constantly being the only one trying to salvage bad relationships.

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#24

"What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Having kids to 'plug the hole' in a life that feels incomplete.

Having kids to 'tick the next box' after mortgage, car etc.

And the worst of all - having kids just to appease your partner when you don't want them (I'm not talking 60/40, I'm talking when it's 100/0).

the_sun_gun Report

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StrangeOne
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes and no. As long as you really want kids and want to give them a good life, sure. But if it's just to fill a void and have someone to live the life you wanted, no.

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#25

"What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Giving your child the shaft because of a romantic partner.

G_Ram3 , Sam Lion Report

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Apatheist Account2
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That expression must mean something entirely different in those parts of the world. Here, it would be incestuous and illegal.

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#26

"What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Being emotionally unavailable to your child.

calmanxiety88 , Lukas b Report

#27

"What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Coke/Pepsi in a baby bottle. bonus points if it's given to the child along with an iPad.

MasterXylophone , Ethan Sees Report

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Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even more points if they then proceed to b***h about how hard it is to put the baby to sleep, and a few years later b***h about the dental bills.

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#28

Lying about strangers to get your kids to capitulate. Like "if that cop sees you making a fuss he'll put you under arrest" or like "You're annoying that man with that noise, better stop or he'll yell at you" etc

inurashii Report

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ЛеснойКороль(ForestKingHe/Him)
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

it just makes kids deathly afraid of any stranger ever, and makes it impossible to talk to people. trust me, i know 😔

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#29

"What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Leaving a set of twin babies in the Mercedes Benz with the windows up when the temp goes up to the mid 80s

SpreadingPropaganda1 , Jhonata Senna Report

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Laura Lett
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For the love of life!! Please!!! Never do that!! So sad when that happens! I'm begging you to please be aware of the danger!!

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#30

"What Screams 'I'm A Terrible Parent'?" (30 Answers) Let things slide by saying its just a child😒

MutantGodfreaky , Scott Webb Report

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Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sometimes it’s OK to do this, but pick your times wisely and don’t let once in a while become all the time.

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Note: this post originally had 37 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.