‘Learn Useless Talents’: 40 Useless But Very Cool-Looking Things You Can Learn To Impress Others
When we think about talents, we often imagine something cool, valuable and impressive. From painting to playing an instrument, these abilities immediately bring us into the spotlight and make us a teeny tiny bit better than anyone born without them.
But this online group celebrates exactly the opposite of that. Welcome to the “Learn Useless Talents” subreddit, a miscellaneous home to 694k members who share not just talents, but the most useless ones of all.
“This is a place to learn how to do cool things that have no use other than killing time and impressing strangers,” the group’s description reads, so I leave the stage to some of the best (and most useless!) posts posted here.
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Ima Do This
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When we speak about learning new skills, whether it’s something we’re talented in or not, it’s impossible not to address people’s obsession with improving themselves and becoming better in one way or another. Life hacks seem to be everywhere these days, from little things like easily opening stuck jar lids to more profound ones like becoming more productive and learning to use your time wisely on a daily basis.
To better understand this phenomenon that has been everywhere on social media, we reached out to Mike Sturm, a productivity and personal growth expert, who thinks that the current obsession with life hacks is about 2 main things.
“First, we love to be inventors and discoverers. If we believe we've come up with something no one else has, or discovered something that very few others know about, we get a kick out of it. Secondly, many of us really believe that making everything we do as efficient as possible is the way to a great life,” Sturm argues.
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On the other hand, “the problem is that if you make something super-efficient, but it's something you probably should have stopped trying to do long ago, you're not any better for it. In fact, you're probably worse off—because you've invested time and energy on this thing that really doesn't bring value to your life,” the productivity coach explained.
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Our obsession with life hacks indicates that we spend a lot of time thinking that what makes for a good life has a lot to do with how we are perceived by others. “Do they think we're cool, smart, innovative, strong, etc.? But what others think of us—even what those close to us think—is just a proxy for what's more important: are we bringing value to others? Are we uncovering meaningful truths in the world? Are we genuinely improving some small part of the world?” Sturm wonders.
“But often times, the things that go viral and get you noticed quickly are not what brings the most value,” he added.
How To Make A Pants Backpack
I'm doing this tomorrow and waiting to see how long it takes before someone notices and says "Are those PANTS??"
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It’s also worth noting that a lot of life hacks surfing online seem to be either absurd or totally useless, aka how to peel a cucumber with cling tape. In response to this, Sturm quoted Peter Drucker: "There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all."
According to Sturm, we only get one shot at this life (that we know of). “And while I can't deny that it's fun sometimes to figure out novel ways to peel vegetables with household items, there's only a small amount of that kind of stuff that brings real value to your life. There are things that are worth working on to make more efficient. Those are the things that need to be done, because if they're not, then what's important to you will suffer,” he explained.
Owlpple
Well, Then
I was on a bus tour where someone took a drink from a can of Coke and got stung. They couldn't stop crying, so I asked if it was a Bee or a Wasp -- they didn't know. . . . It Makes A Difference. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I told them, if it was a bee, it would have left behind a stinger and a venom sack. When took a look, I could see it in the roof of their mouth. Using the tweezers from a swiss army knife, I extracted it and solved the problem. Instant pain relief. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . If you've read this far, you've learned some "useless" information like the other people on the bus.
Nato Phonetic Alphabet
Sturm argues that what this all comes down to is getting clear on what's important to you—really important. “What do you want out of this life? What needs to happen for your life to get that way? And if you're not sure yet what you want out of life, then that's the most important thing for you to do right now,” he said and added that “no amount of finding better ways to do mundane things will find that out for you.”
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It's nice to know how to get out of a coffin and 6 feet of dirt. Now tell me how to get out of bed at 6 am.
Funny how he morphs from ordinary but unlucky fellow to creepy undead during the process
The difficult part here is getting ypur shirt off with your arms stuck beside you.
And is there enough room too moveyour knee up that high??
Load More Replies...Maybe because he's got a shirt on his head?
Load More Replies...I actually learned this from a book called Serafina and the Splintered Heart. It is the third one in the series, and I definitely recommend it :))
7. Graveyard caretaker shoots you in the head because you are a zombie.
Sorry but this is about as useful as a guide on how to survive an atomic bomb! Your chances are slim to none.
Holy hell. I'm so claustrophobic I told my wife make sure the mortuary places a bell with the string inside the Urn. You know. Just in case.
They once had coffins with a bell pull in case they buried people alive. a cord went up to a bell on the surface, and you could pull it to announce you were alive.
I read and re read this... Hopefully I'll never have to remember the steps because I won't remember the steps!
I don't think I could kick hard enough with such limited space
The part abt the shirt keeping the dirt from getting into your mouth
Mythbusters proved the weight of six feet of dirt would be enough to crush the coffin.
A few inches of dirt is enough to stop you from being able to exhale, sorry there is no getting yourself out of this situation.
Thanks! This is my worst nightmare. I spent three hours last night trying to figure out how to escape. Now I know how!
Kill Bill has an excellent tutorial on this. It's helpful to have a flashlight with you.
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I'd need a lot of brandy before this no matter which person I am in the equation.
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How To Loudly Whistle With Four Fingers In Your Mouth
I nearly barfed trying it. I guess I will keep whistling like a peasant with dry fingers.
How To Draw A Boy From The Word "Boy"
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Note: this post originally had 60 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.
LOVE this list - so useless and I saved a lot of the images, never to look at them again.
Next time I need to amputate someone's limb, I have a guide. Last time it didn't go so well.
Your first mistake was using a butter knife.
Load More Replies...Some of these are actually just plain useful for people in specific professions (picking up ostrich), or for some edge-case scenarios (backpack from pants).
This proves that there are no useless talents. If it will make someone else snicker, laugh or wonder, it has proven its worth.
LOVE this list - so useless and I saved a lot of the images, never to look at them again.
Next time I need to amputate someone's limb, I have a guide. Last time it didn't go so well.
Your first mistake was using a butter knife.
Load More Replies...Some of these are actually just plain useful for people in specific professions (picking up ostrich), or for some edge-case scenarios (backpack from pants).
This proves that there are no useless talents. If it will make someone else snicker, laugh or wonder, it has proven its worth.