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Everyone has their own vision of a perfect wedding, but certain traditions have become mainstream despite only a few people actually enjoying them.
Be it the couple and their over-the-top expectations for the bridal party or the shameless distant uncle who arrives just to get hammered, there are so many things we are told to accept because that's just the way it is. Well, even if we decide to comply, that doesn't mean we can't complain about them online.
Mette Blackburn, a wedding photographer from Utah, United States, asked the internet to share their most unfiltered hot takes about weddings, and the responses made it clear: sometimes, the ceremonies and the receptions are more fun to critique than to attend.
Image credits: metteblackburnphoto
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
If you burden your bridesmaids with ridiculous financial expectations youre a bad friend.
HeavyMetalHeart 3 months ago
In the UK the bride pays for the bridesmaids’ outfits and other expenses.
Jrog 3 months ago (edited)
In most of Europe the bridesmaids don't come as a set of matching barbie dolls, they dress as they would dress to any wedding. No one would give a single fly*ng f**k if their dress is in three different shades, of three different colors altogether. Also, it's typically 2, not the whole Swedish Bikini Olympic Team.
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#2
Stop focusing on the wedding and start focusing on the marriage.
Leolynn Cauthron 3 months ago
A high maintenance couple whose focus has is on shallow things like money and appearance are certainly less likely to stay together.
Ripley 3 months ago
We got married at Hatch, Match, and Dispatch (aka Births, Deaths, and Marriages, or just The Registry). On our 10th anniversary we had a "wedding", with dinner and dancing and cake. Probably cost about five grand. We've been together 30 years, and it's terrifying to think I'm old enough to have been in a relationship for this long!
Michael Largey 3 months ago
That is, if you want a marriage that lasts longer than the wedding.
Felicia Baxter 3 months ago
the wedding itself is just a big party to celebrate getting married, all you really need are the documents
While many of the pet peeves mentioned in the Instagram thread are things guests can tolerate, some make them decline an invitation altogether.
A survey of 2,000 Brits found that 28% do so because of the cost, while 24% cite long commutes.
Other major deterrents include their partner not getting invited, disliking other attendees, overnight stays, and having to book time off work.
#3
Childfree weddings are perfectly fine. Stop crying about it. It’s not your day, nor is anything about you..get over it
Michael Largey 3 months ago
Children at a wedding place an unfair burden on three groups - the couple, the guests, and the children.
Debby Keir 3 months ago
Depends very much on the 'formality' of the wedding. Most weddings I've been to had kids and no issues at all. However, a 15 year old 'cousin' nicked a bottle of wine and got very drunk, but that's on the parents.
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Na Schi 3 months ago
I think in Germany it's quite common to have kids naturally invited to the wedding. Almost all weddings I've attended had kids included. And I've never seen the drama that is described in so many Reddit posts. Also the kids all seem to have a ball being at the wedding. Maybe it's a cultural difference 🤔?
Grace Sssssss 3 months ago
Same! German and Lithuanian weddings. The kids make it so much brighter and happier! It truly is the *community* coming to wish you well.
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Lee Gilliland 3 months ago
However, if you choose to have a child free wedding you do NOT get to complain when someone can't make it because they can't find or afford a babysitter.
AlithenewMC 3 months ago (edited)
We had a child free wedding and only one person (of 250) complained. And since having kids, we haven't brought them to any weddings, even when they were invited. When they're old enough to sit through one, or it's someone very close like one of my siblings, then they'll come (if invited). Better for them to stay home and have fun with grandparents than sitting through a ceremony in uncomfortable clothes, complaining the whole time about how they're hungry or bored
nicholas nolan 3 months ago
So grandma and grandpa don't get in on the bonding of two families either? That seems pretty c**p, not gonna lie to you.
Load More Replies... Lene 3 months ago
My bf and I held a childfree 40th birthday and in the invite we said that it was childfree (we have 3 kids ourselves). We wrote that we love kids but that we wanted this event to be filled with talking to adults because we miss that. And it was never a problem. Our guests were more excited about an event where they didn't have to be a parent but just be their old silly selves. :)
nicholas nolan 3 months ago
If you have a child free wedding, I won't say a thing, but I will RSVP as not attending. I might send a gift(that always depends on how well I know the person.) Your wedding, your rules, but we have vastly different ideas of the purpose of a wedding. No judgement, I just won't be there.
#4
Proposing to your partner at someone else’s wedding is lazy asf and a red flag in my book.
Anthony Elmore 3 months ago
Beyond that it's actually just a terrible recipe for a good marriage. You're hinging a critical decision on them when they're like to be swept up in the already romantic atmosphere.
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WindySwede 3 months ago
You should have a rulebook "if you propose at our wedding, you will be presented a tumbler of red wine... over your head"
#5
A destination wedding is a burden on the guests. Don't be Suprised if not many show up because of finances
Heffalump 3 months ago
The whole point of a destination wedding is you can keep the guest list short, invite only people you actually love, and then afford to pay for them.
The Other Guest 3 months ago
Oddly enough, you can do that without a destination wedding, too.
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Keith Lancaster 3 months ago
A friend had a destination wedding in Vegas. Only about six people attended and he and his (now) ex Wife were still paying for it when they divorsed a few years later.
Niamh_ie 3 months ago (edited)
I technically had a destination wedding as far as some guests were concerned as although I live in Scotland the wedding was in Ireland where I'm from as it worked out cheaper. No matter where the wedding was people would have had to travel but accommodation was cheaper where we got married rather than where we live. However we totally understand that some people wouldn't be able to travel but we very much appreciated those who did.
However, it's important to remember that sometimes the guests also cross the line. Robin 'Birdie' Yarusso, 43, from Minneapolis, United States, has planned over 100 weddings, and she says that bombarding the bride with your inquiries on her big day is one of the worst possible things you can do.
"She's busy. There are so many ways to figure it out without stressing her out," Birdie explains.
In addition, she slammed people who turn up late to the nuptials, highlighting that it often interrupts the event and distracts other guests.
#6
A wedding is not a family reunion. You don’t have to invite the cousin you don’t like simply because your mom wants to avoid a fight with her sister.
#7
Throwing cake in the bride’s face. She spent $80 on that makeup and $200 on her hair and you’ve just ruined all of it.
snowball_aka_floofy replied:
$80 and $200!? I got married in 2017 and I spent $550 and $600 🫣 I can’t imagine prices these days
amiyahsonlyfans replied:
why humiliate your new wife like that in front of your friends & family? it’s not funny if you’re the only one laughing
Daniela Lavanza 3 months ago
It's a huge red flag if the groom disrespects his wife in front of everyone "just for fun".
nottheactualphoto 3 months ago
The actual tradition is that you FEED each other. Smashing of cake in faces is for toddlers.
BookFanatic 3 months ago
Lol My best friend told her husband she'd punch him in the nose and divorce him if he tried it. Clear communication is NOT a problem in their marriage.
Felicia Baxter 3 months ago
when my mom planned our friends wedding, the whole thing cost only $500, granted neither of us were what you'd call wealthy
veirdbuttrue 3 months ago
I do not understand this trend. Did it start on tik tok or something?
Kat 3 months ago
I think they're referring to this gross "trend" where husbands will do it unconsensually to their wives without asking permission, then laugh when they get (understandably) upset. A lot of people have stories of witnessing this and some videos exist. I also didn't know about this until the internet, it's not a good sign for the marriage to come.
Load More Replies... #8
You don't have to take his last name, btw. It's not a requirement. He can always take yours if he wanted to.
Michael Largey 3 months ago
When I was very young, the bride taking the groom's name was my very first alert that women were not treated equally.
Debby Keir 3 months ago
Ha - my MIL when I gave birth to a daughter - all surprised because "we only have boys in this family". Umm, you're female and not born a 'Smith'.
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JK 3 months ago
Changing names is a nightmare. Think about all those records you will need to access and then provide proof of name change. I never did it because I felt my career would disappear.
CaliPanda 3 months ago
I didn’t change mine. My husband kept his. Fair is fair.
Load More Replies... Ge Po 3 months ago
My country you actually can't. The last/family name you got at birth is connected to your social security number and is what will stay on your official documents. What you can choose is which name your children will be registered with.
George Costanza 3 months ago
My wife didn't take my last name (I didn't take hers, either). We're still 100% married. Kids got my last name, though, for whatever that's worth.
Paulina 3 months ago (edited)
We were both very attached to our names and didn't want to change them. We also had no expectations towards each other - basically, everyone can choose whatever they want, no questions. I was pleasantly surprised when we were filling up the paperwork and my husband chose exactly the same version as I did - my name, hyphen, his name :) Lady at the registrar looked uncomfortable though 😆
In the end, Birdie believes everyone's focus shouldn't be about Instagram content or participating in popular trends, but rather, creating an amazing memory.
"Make it meaningful. Having a beautiful wedding isn't just about gorgeous flowers and stunning decor. It's about the emotional connection for everyone," she says.
"Leave people feeling moved during the ceremony, emotional during the speeches, and energized during the party."
#9
Announcing anything at a wedding is unacceptable, pregnancy, engagement whatever, JAIL TIME
Anthony Elmore 3 months ago
Hugh Difference was right on this one. I agree with him whole-heartedly that you can announce things at your own wedding.
Load More Replies... snifflymango04 3 months ago
Announcing jail time at a wedding would probably go down like a lead balloon...
Sly Schlang 3 months ago
This is a matter of the heart that should always be expressed in the spot. But not applauded.
Load More Replies... #10
Starting a marriage off in debt from a wedding is high key wack and a recipe for disaster
Shelley Keenan 3 months ago
$5000 total. Most of it paid for by that year's tax return. Loved every minute of it and am so thankful I'm not in debt. My brother's open bar tab was more than my entire wedding. And they were divorced within the year.
Michael Largey 3 months ago
If you can't afford the wedding you want, you can't afford the marriage you want either.
Ace 3 months ago
🎶It won't be a stylish marriage, I can't afford the carriage, but you'd look sweet, upon the seat, of a bicycle made for two.
Load More Replies... #11
Asking guests to pay so they get to attend is tacky. If you can’t afford a wedding either elope or just shorten your list.
Michael Largey 3 months ago
However, there have been weddings where I would have happily paid a modest fee not to attend.
#12
THE WEDDING IS ABOUT THE COUPLE, NOT THE COUPLES' PARENTS/FAMILY. if a family member doesn't like how you do your wedding, they don't have to come.
Brian Garcia 3 months ago
Honest comment...I get the whole couple's day so they're in charge kind of thing. The missing part of this discussion is who is picking up the tab...if parents then it can set the stage for some angst.
Felicia Baxter 3 months ago
side note, I love the brides outfit in this picture! it's an excellent way of staying modest on her terms and keeping with the style of the event! very creative!
Lacey W 3 months ago
Since when ????? You are expecting the family to help give all sorts of expensive gifts. This is not 1850, when a couple needed help starting out. You have been shaking up for eight years already. Stop pretending you are a virgin bride. Good grief, of course it is a family evennt.
#13
People who get mad at dry weddings are boring. If you're canceling going to the biggest day of your loved one's life just because there's no booze, then you shouldn't have been invited anyway. Be happy for the couple and have fun without needing to get wasted!
Luke Branwen 3 months ago
IMO people who outright REFUSE to attend an event if no alcohol is served have a problem which should be addressed. I'm a lifetime non-drinker and I hate alcohol overall, so I see no reason why alcohol should be served at my wedding.
shg stewart 3 months ago
If you can't enjoy a social event unless you're drinking alcohol, you're an alcoholic. You might not be the kind of alcoholic everyone thinks of, but you're probably a binge-drinking alcoholic.
Luke Branwen 3 months ago
True, especially considering that medically speaking, the threshold of what is considered alcoholism is comically low, so low that legit 90% of people would be officially alcoholics.
Load More Replies... BookFanatic 3 months ago
I saw a wedding where the bride and groom were both underage and couldn't drink. They had a milk-and-cookies bar instead. :)
Luke Branwen 3 months ago
Took me a minute to remember American drinking age is 21 😅
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 3 months ago
I've been to weddings where alcohol should have been served before the ceremony - just to get everyone through it.
Savannah greenleaf 3 months ago
It is their choice. I honestly do not recommend an open bar. Things can go haywire quick with a few overly intoxicated people, and sometimes no alcohol is better than a catastrophe.
Heffalump 3 months ago
Equally, the couple should have the good sense not to notice that Uncle John has brought a hip flask and is discretely working his way through it.
alchemilla vulgaris 3 months ago
A sip every now and then, if he must (but I agree with others that if he can't go a few hours without alcohol, he has a problem). But let it be very clear, the moment he gets visibly drunk he will be escorted out and not allowed back in, and NO family drama allowed about it.
Load More Replies... Pushcake 3 months ago
And honestly, can't you just keep your trap shut and sneak in a flask for personal use?
Ellinor she/they/elle 3 months ago
Or just respect the wishes of the couple and don't bring alcohol at all ?
Load More Replies... Ellinor she/they/elle 3 months ago
So if your best friends was getting married and had no alcohol, you wouldn't go ?
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spacer 3 months ago
if you cant go one evening without drinking you have a bigger problem than a dry wedding
Load More Replies... #14
The guest list is the couple’s guest list, not the family’s
sophiacarrieri replied:
when my cousin got married a few months ago this was a huge issue because our grandma wanted to invite all of HER friends and a church group
Michael Largey 3 months ago
Tell grandma to go out and get married again herself. Then she can invite (and pay for) anyone she wishes.
HeavyMetalHeart 3 months ago
My MIL invited 16 people. But she paid for their meals so we were were like, eh, the more the merrier.
Brian Garcia 3 months ago
I get the challenge...I come from a small family, my wife fairly large. A bit of a tit for tat...well, so-in-so invited us to their daughter's wedding, you see how this goes. With that said ~150 and it was awesome! Coming up on 21 years with a son in his freshman year of college so something went right!
#15
If you wouldn’t invite them over for dinner… they shouldn’t be invited to the wedding
#16
Expensive honeymoon over expensive wedding ANY day
#17
Weddings don’t need to be a massive event with 100+ people. It’s supposed to be intimate, invite close family/friends only and spend the money on your honeymoon
JK 3 months ago
If that is tradition and affordable, usually paid for by the parents of both families, I agree.
Load More Replies... Felicia Baxter 3 months ago
either that or elope and invite everyone over for a family BBQ style elopement party, an intimate and inexpensive get together for close relatives
Michael Largey 3 months ago
I'm in favor of large weddings in case either the bride or the groom needs to blend into the crowd and escape.
#18
Unpopular opinion: it’s weird to want to be the center of attention and have everyone fawn over you all night… also hate when couples do a cheesy memorized dance routine like the Backstreet Boys in front of everyone. Maybe I’m autistic but it’s so awkward. I hate everything about weddings and that’s why I am not having one. Trip to the courthouse and then long amazing honeymoon. Thank God my fiancé is an introvert too and would also hate a wedding.
HeavyMetalHeart 3 months ago
My husband and I are both introverts but it was honestly amazing to be the centre of attention for one day. We felt very loved and supported by everyone.
Lady Eowyn 3 months ago
"Maybe I'm autistic...". What does that have to do with anything? That's your personality. It doesn't mean you're neurodivergent. If you think you're autistic, go to a psychiatrist and get a diagnosis.
Niamh_ie 3 months ago
I didn't get married to be centre of attention but I did it as an excuse to get all my friends and family together. I had an amazing day and I'd do it again tomorrow but unfortunately some of the guests have passed away. This is my reasoning but have the wedding of your dreams not anyone else's.
BookFanatic 3 months ago
Agreed. I hate being the center of attention. If I had to go through a big wedding I'd probably run away from home.
Brian Garcia 3 months ago
Had a decent size wedding...thank goodness not on my dime. But I get it, a lot of, for lack of a better word...rituals. Ours was great, but they don't all turn out that way and even the best ones are a lot of work. My wife worked her tail off preparing, and of course I did whatever I was told! lol
#19
Getting sloppy drunk/ groom or bride being too drunk to remember the night is so odd to me. You can have a party and rage anytime- I replay my wedding over and over in my head all the time and it makes me so happy- what would’ve been the point in not honoring what an important day that was by treating it like a random night out
Michael Largey 3 months ago
Getting married provides no reason for getting blind drunk. What follows may
BookFanatic 3 months ago
Yep. I was the only one in the wedding party who wasn't completely s*******d. They spent the entire reception and dinner at the bar while I sat alone at the high table and tried not to look awkward. Looking back, I should have said "f**k this" and sat with my friends instead.
Lacey W 3 months ago
It is the bride's "Disney Princess" moment, not a special event. They have been living together for eight years and may even have a child or two. This is her last chance to grab her childhood dreams she trashed. Getting drunk is just another Virginia Wolf money for them both.
#20
You cannot have a Kardashian level lavish wedding when you make 60K a year- stop trying to make your friends and guests pay for an event you can’t afford.
#21
Exposing the groom or bride in front of their families with an inside joke during a speech
#22
Your uncle you see once every 5 years doesn't have to walk you down the isle if you dont have a father. Let your mother do it.
hannahshijinks replied:
I wish I would've done that. I let my mother in law's BOYFRIEND walk me down the isle just for him to cheat on her a few months later
Michael Largey 3 months ago
Why does a bride need anyone to walk her down the aisle? Is a wedding a property transfer?
Heffalump 3 months ago
Well, I'm a guy, and as my ex's will testify, I have zero insight into women's psychology. That being said, if you're going to walk down the aisle, with everyone looking at you, on a day you're already stressed out of your mind by, wouldn't you want someone you love by your side?
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Lady Chelsea (LadyChelseaoftheVoid) 3 months ago
I always found the father walking the bride down the hall and "giving" her to her husband to be cringe. Is this the 1800? are you gonna demand a dowry of oxen and an acre of land?
Giraffe Sitter 3 months ago
My (M) best friend says she wants me to walk her if her father is unavailable.
Foxglove🇮🇪 3 months ago
Hubby and I walked down the aisle together - best man and MOH first, then flower girl, then we brought up the rear
ILoveMySon 3 months ago
The simple solution is to elope and save the money. However, I feel badly for the couple.
#23
Weddings in general have become more of a competition rather than a ceremony to represent life long love and companionship. Once again society took something sacred and capitalized off of it.
nicholas nolan 3 months ago
For some people. Likely for a tiny minority. Competitions tend to be louder than what most people do, however.
#24
Getting legally married during your wedding day is a waste of money. Get the legal paperwork done before. Preferably by the end of the year BEFORE your wedding date. Use those tax savings to help pay for the wedding or honey moon and just have a close friend you trust officiant. Saves tons. Also the “last day single” idea of bachelor/bachelorette parties is disgusting. You aren’t single. You haven’t been for a while. You don’t need strippers
Ace 3 months ago
WTF? You seem to be suggesting getting married in private and then just holding a party some time later when you can afford it. I think this kinda misses the whole point of it. It's not just a legal transaction, it's about the couple standing up and showing the world that they're now together.
JK 3 months ago
Good advice. Funny story (again). Turns out my mother was never legally married to my father. 1960s, she trusted him. He got the church certificate but not the license issued by the county. But, strangely, they got a legal divorce. I did the research, and the state they were married in outlawed common law marriage in 1945.
Daniel Atkins 3 months ago
Never understood the wild bachelor/bachelorette parties. Why do they have to be crazy involve over drinking and for some strange reason strippers. Just go out have some fun with your friends is all that makes sense to me.
HeavyMetalHeart 3 months ago
Don’t think you can do that here, you have to go through a ceremony of some kind with an official celebrant. Plus, the tax savings from being married are very small, they would barely have covered my accessories!
#25
whatever that garter thing is it's so weird
Michael Largey 3 months ago
They should throw out a bouquet at funerals to predict who's next.
#26
White wedding dress. Like I get it it's traditional but the meaning of it is quite disgusting and dehumanizing. Plus it's one of the biggest days in a persons life so wouldn't it be better to wear their favorite color dress? And if they do the backlash and shame they get for it is so irritating
spacer 3 months ago
it has nothing with the bride being a vírgin so tired of that misconception
Jihana 3 months ago
This! Before Queen Victoria brides just wore their best dress. The stark white of Queen Victorias dress just symbolised that she could afford a brand new dress, since older dresses turned darker with time.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 3 months ago
The white dress tradition is a useful way for the bride to find out if her mother-in-law hates her.
monsieur mabel 3 months ago
......my college roommate wore a red wedding dress , 2 of my nieces wore vintage champage colored dresses..........simply stunning brides..............to each her own on her special day indeed !!...............
Ace 3 months ago
Getting better, this is now the second one I disagree with. "Disgusting and dehumanising"? WTF you on about? Nobody gives a rat's a5s about any hidden 'meaning' behind it,
Nova yt 3 months ago
I think most people always thought it was related to virginity. Apparently that's not the case but it became pop culture. I've read many stories where religious family members, generally one or most of the parents of the couple, protesting the brides white dress say if she's divorced or has a child already, then the bride is supposed to be in off-white. It's still referenced quite often more jokingly now I think
Load More Replies... HeavyMetalHeart 3 months ago
That’s a rather extreme view! I didn’t expect to wear white but fell in love with a white dress and felt great in it. I certainly wasn’t “dehumanised”!
Anthony Elmore 3 months ago
I believe the poster was referring to the (incorrect?) assumption that the white signifies that the bride is a virgin, which is why they felt it was dehumanizing. Though, spacer and Jihana's posts seem to indicate that it's a misconception.
Load More Replies... Lee Gilliland 3 months ago
And the amount of fuss and "MIL's wearing white" crises will plummet...this isn't just a western issue, Asian and Indian brides wear red and the problem exists there, too.
Keith Lancaster 3 months ago
Don't forget that in some cultures, white is seen as a mourning colour.
#27
South Asian parents need to invest on their daughters' education first, in stead of their wedding ceremonies.
#28
Why do women get a full face done? Like if they want to that’s fine, but why is it pushed on us? Shouldn’t our husband find us beautiful without it? Or lighter makeup that enhances are features instead of making us look like a whole different person.
Blue Bunny of Happiness 3 months ago (edited)
I never wear make up. I pushed the boat out for my wedding though - tinted moisturiser!
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AlithenewMC 3 months ago
I told my mua to give me lighter make up, specifically the foundation and contour. You don't have to do a full face, and if the mua won't give you what you want, you shouldn't hire them
Jeya Mackelle 3 months ago
Pretty sure makeup is a personal choice. You might find it pushed on yourself, and I'm sorry if you lacked the self-confidence to say no thank you, but it's a personal decision. I, if I ever decide I want to bother with tying myself to someone, would love to feel like a Queen on my wedding day!
George Costanza 3 months ago
No husband is pushing anyone to spend hundreds/thousands on makeup and hair. You ladies are doing that to yourselves.
HeavyMetalHeart 3 months ago
I had a struggle to find a makeup artist who would do a look that was “me”, rather than the standard modern look. I did let her make me up quite heavily though because it does work better for the photos.
Lady Chelsea (LadyChelseaoftheVoid) 3 months ago
demanding one hairstyle for all bridesmaids is a recipe for disaster because hair texture and amount differs
Jeya Mackelle 3 months ago (edited)
Oh-ho, I feel this one personally. I am Black, therefore my hair is curly. Like 4C, so extremely kinky(save your jokes). My cousin is white with long, thick, straight hair. I had my hair in Senegalese braids and they were an ombre red-pink mix. She had picked out burgundy dresses for her bridesmaid (me) and maid-of-honor. She asked for a photo of my hair, which I sent, and then asked if I'd be willing to change it so it was more burgundy. I told her that I loved her, but no, she did not get to dictate my hair color, especially since burgundy and pink go very well together. She accepted this, and that was that. We still love each other, lol! And as much as I hate using my race card, as a Black woman with awesome hair that I love, there is not a single white person on this planet who's opinion on my hair holds even a drop of water, aside from my mom.
Load More Replies... Sarah 3 months ago
I don't wear make-up. Lipstick once in a while but that's it (but my sister tells me that doesn't count LOL). When I got married, I did wear make-up. It was light and subtle but, I did it for the photos. I'm pale and the dress was white(ish). I would hardly have even shown up on film in that outfit, without make-up!
Felicia Baxter 3 months ago
makeup and other such things in general should be used to enhance our existing features, not completely change who we are
#29
Losing weight for the wedding is cringe, wanting to impress guests is cringe – it feels like this day is not about your own marriage but about being approved by the people around you
Ace 3 months ago
And yet, looking beautiful on your wedding day is important. I don't have my wife anymore but I do still have all those lovely pictures of that day. Ohgod, I wasn't expecting tears this morning...
Ge Po 3 months ago
I think part of the beauty in wedding pictures comes from the sense that you are stepping into a new stage of your life, together with the one you love. Sorry for your loss. I hope there was time to make more good memories.
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Zoe Vokes 3 months ago
I think people lose weight so they can look and feel good to themselves. They can look in the mirror and in the photos later on and feel beautiful and not feel self conscious. I assume most people who lose weight for a wedding already want to lose a bit of weight but having a deadline gives them the motivation to take it more seriously.
Earonn - 3 months ago
Maybe the bride want to feel 'prettier' herself? Maybe she uses this great opportunity of a deadline because that helps a lot of people to reach a goal? Maybe not everything the couple does is about YOU, OP?
Angela C 3 months ago
I think this was mainly in reference to those (usually women) who crash diet before their wedding, as in they're not losing the weight in a healthy or sustainable way. I'm sorry but anyone who starves themselves to look perfect for one day is an idiot
Load More Replies... Anthony Elmore 3 months ago
To be honest, the obsession with the perfect wedding in general kinda throws me off. Obviously, as a guy, I wasn't raised with the fascination for them that some girls are, but it never seemed like a fun fascination. Maybe when you're really little and there's that heavily romanticized view that little girls can get. When it gets to the point where it's actually being planned, though... the obsession with making it the perfect event always seemed to suck out any romantic feeling. It's not a completely sterilized feeling, but it's gives off the same vibe as those stock images of someone who looks like they're riding a rollercoaster while enjoying their salad. Uncanny valley, maybe? Or something similar. Like I've had good salads, but I've never been that thrilled about eating one, and it makes it painfully obvious the image was staged.
#30
I work as a bridal Consultant and my biggest tip: CHOOSE THE PEOPLE WHO ARE COMING TO THE SEARCHING FOR THE DRESS WISELY! No your mom who always bullies you or your best friend who always is jealous arent the best options!
Ellinor she/they/elle 3 months ago
Well I think it's nice to have the opinion on the people you trust on your wedding outfit. If they know you well enough they can even help recommending stuff that you wouldn't have thought about and that you end up liking !
Load More Replies... Jeya Mackelle 3 months ago
I have already decided that I will be the only one at my consultation. Maybe my cousin and my best friend, but that's a big MAYBE. Then again, I'd rather buy some colorful, sparkly masquerade gown online for only a couple hundred and call it good. Save money for other things, ya know.
Paige Merlin 3 months ago (edited)
I had a friend who quit working at a wedding dress boutique because she couldn’t handle the amount of friends/family tearing the bride down and making them cry during appointments
MotherofGuineaPigs 3 months ago
I had mine made by a local tailor. No one else was involved in the fabric or pattern.
#31
People shouldn’t be offended if they’re not invited to the wedding
Michael Largey 3 months ago
If you invite me to your wedding, I'll be providing you a gift. If you don't invite me to your wedding, you'll be providing me a gift - the precious gift of free time.
veirdbuttrue 3 months ago
Yes! Not everyone wants to attend your wedding!!! I'm sorry but it's true.
Load More Replies... Zoe Vokes 3 months ago
It can be hurtful if you’re very close to the bride or groom. I’ve read stories where the exclusion has been confusing to the uninvited and it turns out bride didn’t invite groom’s close friend on purpose. Or where every member of a friendship group was invited except one. And seen stories where the reason has been dumb and not due to space restrictions, such as the bride was jealous about how beautiful her friend looks.
BookFanatic 3 months ago
Somebody needs to remind my mother about this. A cousin invited us to the reception but not the wedding and Mom was so miffed she refused to even RSVP (I did on her behalf--we said no thanks)
Jeya Mackelle 3 months ago
If you're not invited to the wedding, ask yourself why. And I mean for reasons other than the couple wanting a small, intimate wedding. My cousin had a wedding with only select people, including myself and my family, but she disinvited our aunt, and of course she was offended. But she (the aunt) was an alcoholic and caused drama and had some kind of emotional outburst whenever we saw her, so it made sense. Plus, we found out she had done something pretty s****y just a few weeks before the wedding, so we were not interested in being around her before, during, or after the big event. My cousin's wedding was beautiful and everything she'd hoped for, so nothing lost in my opinion.
#32
Don’t spend that much money on it. Houses are expensive, cars are expensive, life is expensive. Don’t drop 2 grand on it because it’s your “special day”
Anthony Elmore 3 months ago
That's kind of what I thought. 20 grand is getting up there (and likely an amount that I would neither want to or be able to pay for a wedding).
Load More Replies... HeavyMetalHeart 3 months ago
2 grand? How could you get married that cheaply? Ten times that is pretty basic these days!
#33
When you spend 50k on a wedding you will get divorced
#34
The bridezilla not including husband to be in any planning or decision making. Or his lack of interest in the event. No sir.
BookFanatic 3 months ago
A friend's son was getting married, and I made the usual "ooh, it's the bride's special day" stupid comment. He was quick to correct me and said "Hey, it's my son's special day, too!"
Auntriarch 3 months ago
Mr Auntriarch and I just left it up to my mother. We weren't that interested in the wedding, and she wasn't an unreasonable mumzilla at all.
Zoe Vokes 3 months ago
True she should definitely consult him on decisions but many women have been dreaming about their future wedding for years. There might a particular venue they’ve always wanted to get married at, for instance. I’m not saying men aren’t looking forward to the wedding day but I’m not sure as many dream about it years in advance and maybe men are more excited for the marriage than the wedding.
#35
Don’t invite anyone you couldn’t have a 10minute conversation with about your life or theirs.
#36
People shouldn't be offended if you don't attend their wedding. I fear weddings and big celebrations don't make sense to me. I would only ever celebrate in the most intimate circle. Tbh I would just want to celebrate with my husband. The concept of wedding parties is just weird to me, I don't like them and I don't like meeting strangers on such occasions
Michael Largey 3 months ago
Never expect people to attend your destination wedding. (I know of one where the bride didn't even show, but that's another story.)
#37
People asking the couple when their having kids on their wedding day!
#38
Your wedding is SO MUCH MORE than an instagram photo opp
#39
Ima say it. The way the brides really soak in the walk. One girl walked for like 5 minutes straight. I understand it’s ur moment but the slowness of it all is hilarious to me lol
Ace 3 months ago
I have no idea what this one os talking about. Walking slowly down the aisle?
Blue Bunny of Happiness 3 months ago
Yup,. Allegedly it was one step forward, feet together, brief pause, next step and so on, allowing everyone time to admire the bride.
Load More Replies... #40
Stone cold atheists demanding a church wedding 😂😂😂😂
Auntriarch 3 months ago (edited)
Then they are not stone cold atheists. Probably just can't-be-arsed-eists.
Ace 3 months ago
I got married (twice) in a church, despite being atheist. first time I was young and just went along with it, as most people do, but the second one I made it absolutely clear to the minister the I dd not believe in any higher power. We agreed that the making of the vows to each other in front of the world was more important that the idea of making promises to any actual spiritual entity. (My wife was not very religious, but at that time was still on the fence). And a 13th century church was a nice place to do it.
Load More Replies... Foxglove🇮🇪 3 months ago
When we got married there were only 2 options - church or ratty registrar's room in the health centre. The law changed a few years later and now you can get married just about anywhere.
#41
There should always be a dress code.🫣I hate seeing people wear basically pool towel dresses and flipflops for the ceremony
Dragons Exist 3 months ago
Why does it matter what you hate? If the people getting married don't care then it doesn't matter
Heffalump 3 months ago
Perhaps the couple should care a little. This isn't just a party. It's an occasion where they make a lifelong commitment to each other, and a certain amount of solemnity seems appropriate. Asking people to dress up a little isn't unreasonable, at least for the ceremony.
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Aileen Grist 3 months ago
No Dress code. Everyone should be comfortable. If that's shorts and tee shirt - fine - and that includes the bride and groom.
Michael Largey 3 months ago
Don't invite people like that in the first place, if such things are important to you.
#42
Having an open bar at your wedding is setting yourself up for failure
David Morgan 3 months ago
This depends SO much on the guests. Open bar does not mean 'unlimited alcohol that the couple pays for AFTER it's been drunk', open bars typically set aside a value of alcohol for the guests and don't charge per-drink. It's up to the couple to estimate how much the guests are likely to want, and provide it - it's a known cost. Open bar also doesn't mean 'alcoholic, aggressive guests causing trouble'. That's purely dependent on who was invited and their usual habits.
CaliPanda 3 months ago
We had an open bar, but it was beer and wine only. And there was a hard stop time to the festivities.
Angela C 3 months ago
My sister is planning to do an open bar up until the last hour of the reception at which time it will switch to a cash bar (which her guests have been made aware of)
Load More Replies... Lee Gilliland 3 months ago
I disagree. You can set hours on the open bar so nobody gets trashed, or limit it to beer and wine.
#43
The only thing the couples parents can comment on is approving and that’s about it. They shouldn’t be making any judgmental commenting on who to bring, where it’s at, how much to spend, what to wear, etc. honestly unless you’re super super close to your parents. Just have your own little officiated wedding with just you two, the officiator, and no one else.
JK 3 months ago
You need witnesses, but that can be court house staff. I went to a "ceremony" in Oregon where the couple was married in a Judge's chambers with only family present (I was dating the son). Then we went out for dinner. Another one that was great was in a park in upstate NY under one of those park pavilions w/a pit BBQ. It was awesome. It rained, and just as they took their vows, the sun came out!
Ace 3 months ago
Sounds great, but the official witnesses do not need to be family, indeed I would argue that they absolutely should not be,
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Misty Hamilton 3 months ago (edited)
I got married in the pastors living room. Just me, my husband, the pastor who married us, the pastors wife and their dog. I didn't anything else!
#44
Wedding planners are a waste of money.
Zoe Vokes 3 months ago
They might be expensive but they’re not a waste of money. Many people don’t want to deal with the stress of organising a wedding. Especially coming up to the wedding day when you’d need to contact all the vendors to confirm the details and maybe resolve any issues. If the couple can afford a wedding planner then they can enjoy their wedding without thinking about logistics.
David Morgan 3 months ago
Depends on what you think you are getting for the money. The planner isn't really there to work out what you want in your wedding (that's your job), they are there because they have a massive collection of contacts and reliable people they know. They are there to know which (of all the possible ones) are the people who are worth hiring, who will deliver the goods, and they are there to make sure that if there are any problems, that the problems are solved. That is a huge amount of research and micromanaging, and most people either don't want to or straight-up can't do it because they don't know how.
Max Robitzsch 3 months ago
Meh. We didn't have one, organised it ourselves. But if that's not your forte, and you use a good one, I could see it being a huge help. Most people only get wed once or twice in their life, so it's not like you have a lot of practice normally. Like getting any paid help, finding the right one at the right budget is the issue,, not the fact itself.
#45
Don’t host a wedding if you don’t want to BE a host & consider the guests experience
veirdbuttrue 3 months ago
Exactly I agree! No it is NOT just about the bride and groom. Spare a thought for the comfort of your guests.
#46
Please stop wearing extemely revealing dresses are your wedding.like are we serious rn.
Jeya Mackelle 3 months ago
She's not wearing it for you. And who cares? Keep your balls tucked where they belong and grow up!
#47
Guests complaining when the toasts take too long, but it’s literally such a special moment for the couple. Let them share it with the people who love them enough to give a toast.
BookFanatic 3 months ago
Sorry, but I'm not going to listen to a 20-minute drunken best man (or maid of honor) slurring their way through what could be a 2-minute speech.
David Morgan 3 months ago
What's it got to do with you? It's up to the couple as to who they want to give a toast - that person might not be a good choice, but it's not up to the guests. You'd be a total jerk if you made any kind of fuss if the toaster wasn't succinct.
Load More Replies... #48
If you want a dancefloor it is ok to invite someone on the C list (probably not getting invited), just to keep the dancefloor alive. You need someone with the balls to be the first on the dancefloor
#49
When someone shows up late. My friend showed up 10 minutes late and Missed the whole kiss and everything
#50
Stop wearing mini dresses as wedding dresses
#51
I think it’s stupid when the couple pays for stuff they don’t eat or drink. If they’re both vegetarian why is there a meat option? If both of them are sober why is there an open bar? I better be able to eat everything I paid for
Michael Largey 3 months ago
Maybe because they're considerate of other people, especially the people they invited to their wedding?
JK 3 months ago
Buffet is a better option, in my opinion, than a plated dinner. People can choose what they want, and it does usually start with a plated salad. Also, a buffet encourages people to mingle.
Dragons Exist 3 months ago
That last part is only good if you like socializing
Load More Replies... Max Robitzsch 3 months ago
Its a balance - if you are vegetarian/vegan out of strong principle, or avoid acohol for similar reason (or for a*******n reasons). Fine, create a wedding without meat / booze etc. But if you don't have strong feelings to that degree, why make THAT part about yourself? The rest of the day is about you already, you don't lose anything by it.
nottheactualphoto 3 months ago
I wouldn't mind if people would stop using "sober" to mean "never consumes any alcohol whatsoever." That is not what it means.
#52
If you haven’t previously met the fiancée you’re not invited. The wedding is to celebrate the union, you should invite those that have seen you grow in love as a couple.
Michael Largey 3 months ago
Sometimes I have met the fiancee - and that's precisely why I'm not coming.
HeavyMetalHeart 3 months ago
There were friends of my MIL at the wedding that neither of us knew! We didn’t care.
PandaPadi 3 months ago
I might not have met my best friend's fiancé because of long distance but that doesnt mean I dont love the way they grow together as a couple. I am really happy for her and wish her well. If she invites me to her wedding, I will gladly go and be very happy to meet the one she loves in person.
#53
Do not attend a wedding if you cannot afford to bring a gift. You decline the invite.
Lisa Sturgiss 3 months ago
Weddings and who you invite shouldn't be about gifts. It should be about sharing this moment with those you love.
Michael Largey 3 months ago
Right, no matter how much they've meant to the couple, poor people are just so tacky at a wedding.
JK 3 months ago
I can see a greedy bride comparing her gifts to a checklist of people who attended when she sends out thank you cards. Also, be careful with re-gifting. Funny story. I was staying with friends over the holidays (wedding was Dec 31) and when we were opening gifts, the lady of the house was incensed that she was re-gifted some crystal salt cellars from a relative's wedding. So we got devious. She found a Tiffany box, some tissue paper and nice white satin ribbon. That is what my greedy and pretentious sis got from me for her wedding.
Lady Chelsea (LadyChelseaoftheVoid) 3 months ago
k, I'm gonna buy you a d***o so you can go f**k yourself
What do you think ?
marianne eliza 3 months ago
If you're engaged to someone who cares more about the wedding than the marriage, run. Run far. Run fast.
Grm Moore 3 months ago
Waste of money. Bad start to a relationship. And most people don't look good in a huge white puffy dress.
Lee Gilliland 3 months ago
I mean, even Princess Di couldn't carry it off.
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AuspiciousTree283 3 months ago
I have a thought about them. Guests need to chill about what a traditional wedding looks like. If a husband makes a crude joke about his wife and she laughs, it is their sense of humor. You might say you would never do that at your wedding, and that is fine, but they chose to do it at their wedding. It's their day, after all.
marianne eliza 3 months ago
If you're engaged to someone who cares more about the wedding than the marriage, run. Run far. Run fast.
Grm Moore 3 months ago
Waste of money. Bad start to a relationship. And most people don't look good in a huge white puffy dress.
Lee Gilliland 3 months ago
I mean, even Princess Di couldn't carry it off.
Load More Replies... AuspiciousTree283 3 months ago
I have a thought about them. Guests need to chill about what a traditional wedding looks like. If a husband makes a crude joke about his wife and she laughs, it is their sense of humor. You might say you would never do that at your wedding, and that is fine, but they chose to do it at their wedding. It's their day, after all.
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