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If you had to put people into groups based on the ways they fuel their energy, you could distinguish two broad categories of extroverted and introverted people. Extroverted people feel best and most energized when they are interacting with others, while introverts recharge by being on their own and social interactions drain them to exhaustion.
Introversion is a personality trait and not a mental health condition, but it is often confused with social anxiety disorder. Introverts aren’t necessarily anxious in a busy social environment, but it just takes a lot of energy to be engaged, while for people suffering from social anxiety, such an environment causes nervousness and fear, although some research suggests that introverts are more likely to feel social anxiety compared to extraverts.
It seems that this could be the case as evident from a thread started by Reddit user Sarayka81 who asked, “What situation is an introvert's nightmare?” Many people noticed that redditors started listing situations that are more dreadful for people with social anxiety instead of introvertedness and concluded that they might not be able to make a distinction between them if they have both, although a big chunk of them related to the scenarios mentioned.
More info: Reddit
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#1
Phone calls. Receiving and twice as bad having to make one.
TheAquarius1978 3 years ago
I don't know why but i Also hate having to make them, mostly to strange people, which is wierd because Im not introverted, i can be and i am shy, but if anything Im an extroverted person.
Peej Maybe 3 years ago
The dreaded words "It'll be so much easier to demonstrate what I mean on a call" - Reader, it never is easier.
TheDivineMsM 3 years ago
I'd much rather make a call than answer one. I can be prepared for a call I make, not so much the other way around
Pamela Worthington-Smack 3 years ago
The service that automatically transcribes my voicemail to email is the greatest achievement of civilization since indoor plumbing.
Wysteria_Rose 3 years ago
It's worse when you were trying to send the person a text (very simply put, only a yes/no answer needed) and they CALL YOU ANYWAY
It seems that the definitions of introversion and social anxiety are different, but as many people in the thread pointed out, the terms get mixed up and socially anxious people might think that their fears are just part of being an introvert.
Bored Panda reached out to Distinguished Professor at University of California Riverside Sonja Lyubomirsky, who teaches at the Department of Psychology, to find out what causes the misconception.
She explained to us, “My guess is that it’s because socially anxious people often say little in social interactions and appear uncomfortable (like they prefer to be alone). Introverts actually DO enjoy alone time, but not because they are afraid of social interactions. Just a lot of socializing exhausts them.”
RELATED:
#2
Teacher: "Everyone find a partner!"
Pumpkin Spice 3 years ago
Of course! She's our little star student, after all.
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Peej Maybe 3 years ago
Or on school trips, the dreaded "Sitting next to the teacher on the bus because no one else would buddy up with you"
Metalhead Turtle 🇺🇦 3 years ago
I got lucky that my teachers understood my anxiety. I vaguely remember being given snacks.
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Lizzy Crit 3 years ago
Always getting paired with a teacher because there were an odd number of students and being the one left over
Rhea Williams 3 years ago
That’s a really mean thing to do. Much better for the teacher to put into pairs; that way no one gets left out.
Raegan Johnson 3 years ago
Or that moment when you look to the one person you’re willing to work with and they’re looking at someone else.
LittlePiggie 3 years ago
Or when people rush to pair with you because they know you'll do all the work for them to make sure you keep high marks in the class... 😒
#3
Let’s all introduce ourselves
Nathaniel 3 years ago
Hello I am Nathaniel and merely saying this in front of everyone makes me want to curl up and cry.
Chris berkley 3 years ago
I once introduced myself with "my name is chris and this makes me uncomfortable" and sat back down lol
Corban Burgess 3 years ago
I absolutely hate this I always mess up when talking in front of people I don't know.
Elspeth Marple 3 years ago
Don't forget the interesting fact that you then get teased about forever after........
David Martin 3 years ago
I always hated this in high school. We know how teenagers are, and being the redhead in glasses who read books (Heaven forbid!) I was picked on a lot as it was. Then they want you to "Stand up, tell this room full of strangers something personal about yourself nobody knows"...then do it five more times in five other rooms for your other classes
Wilson. 3 years ago
My worst incidence of this happened in my first week of high school, in our new drama class, age 11. Were told to introduce ourselves and say something we liked beginning with the same letter as our first name. My letter is mid-alphabet. Didnt pay attention to anyone else in the stress of trying to think of something decent and vaguely novel for my letter. Wound up picking a food i had never eaten, and when i eventually did i didnt liked... but for the first two years of school this bloody thing became my nickname for all the people just meeting poor preteen me! Still shudder to think of it many moons later ha
Apatheist 62 3 years ago
If they ever ask "where's your favourite holiday destination?", mine is "anywhere they don't do ice-breaking exercises". This is particularly galling when it happens in a team meeting with people you've known for years.
#4
Your social butterfly friend begs you to go to a party with him. You go there and he wanders off to talk to literally everyone there while you follow him like a puppy.
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
If the party is at someone’s house, find out if they have a dog or cat, and spend your time with them instead of draining your social battery on a bunch of people who are probably already, or are well on the way to being, sloppy drunk, and highly gross and annoying, anyway.
Mike Loux 3 years ago
Cat. Always look for the cat. Maybe I should just start bringing laser pointers with me. Actually, some humans might try chasing them as well, if they are especially hammered. That could be entertaining.
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Danniee Gyrl 3 years ago
Someone did this to me...I left. This is why I will drive myself. This way, I do not have to wait on someone, that is not ready to leave.
Angeline Shalyn 3 years ago
I do this at work lol, I have one good friend at work and I literally wait in my car everyday for her to get there before I walk inside lll
Whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert depends both on your genetics and your effort. Sonja Lyubomirsky has read studies that said “that the heritability of this trait is 40 to 50%. However, just like with anything that’s heritable (most human traits), this doesn’t mean that we can’t change it with deliberate effort.”
The professor gave herself as an example: “I myself was 'born' an incredibly shy person (a trait related to introversion) but with a great deal of effort and willpower, I have transformed myself into a huge extrovert. But it takes work.”
#5
"Why are you being so quiet?"
Danniee Gyrl 3 years ago
My reply once: Because I do not want to talk to you! ...that person avoided me forever.
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Just Another Girl 3 years ago
I should not be so quiet and speak up more? Maybe you should sit down and shut up more.
Peej Maybe 3 years ago
What drives me mad is when teachers describe my kid as 'quiet in class' - yet she gets excellent grades. Why are 'noisy mouthy' kids so frickin' special anyway?
TheDivineMsM 3 years ago
I was voted most quiet in middle school and then in high school I always got, "why don't you talk?" My answer was usually "because I don't have anything to say." If I have something to add, ill say it but I don't need to constantly fill void with talking
NewNicknameAlert 3 years ago
I did this as a kid to my cousins. I was used to my parents and I talking during dinner and my cousins were quietly eating. I asked why they were so quiet and they just stared at me. I've learned since then that some people talk during dinner and some don't. Neither is wrong. I still cringe thinking how I embarrassed myself. I could have started a conversation instead of putting them on the spot like that.
G M 3 years ago
Keanu Reeves: "I hate it when people ask me: "Why are you so quiet?" Because I am. That's how I function. I don't ask others "Why do you talk so much?" It's rude."
Rylosalex 3 years ago
Its annoying!! "Hey! I'm here! I'm spending time with you!! Let's leave it at that!"
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Dre Mosley 3 years ago
Extroverts just need to STFU sometimes. Why does my silence intrigue you so much?
Mabelbabel 3 years ago
Try being an introvert with resting b**ch face. As well as "why are you so quiet?' you also get "what's wrong? Are you angry at something? Are you sulking? You look upset/annoyed"
#6
People randomly showing up to hang out at your own place
Nathaniel 3 years ago
The knock on the door, the ring of the doorbell, unless you have pre announced your visit, I am not in.
Yoga Kitty 3 years ago
Even if you can see me through the windows of my front door!
Load More Replies... TheAquarius1978 3 years ago
Hate that, nothing to do with being introverted or not, i just like to be Alone in my " Kingdom " i don't like going to anyone's house ( not even my siblings ), and i don't like unannounced guests, actually to be extremely honest, there is an 80 or 90% chance of me just ignoring the door and pretende no one is home.
Just Another Girl 3 years ago
I think this is the rudest most inconsiderate thing a person can do. Drop by unannounced and expect me to drop what I’m doing and entertain you? I don’t care if “all” I was doing was watching tv. That was MY time. I do not feel bad for ignoring ppl who just show up like that.
Danniee Gyrl 3 years ago
if you show up unannounced----You can see me, walking around in my house. I will wave at you and laugh. Yet, you are not getting in. ----WHY are you showing up, unannounced?????
Justin Trouble 3 years ago
The only positive thing about the pandemic is being able to yell through a closed door that you have covid to make "guests" leave.
#7
Being picked out of the crowd at an assembly, concert, magic show etc.
Ryan-James O'Driscoll 3 years ago
I can do a magic show as the expectation is you don't contribute anything to the show beyond doing what you're told. A concert, hell no.
Alecto76 3 years ago
In college I was very thin and shy. My friends and I sat close to the front of a local comedy club. I wound up being the "comedian's" entire act- I was too thin and needed to eat and I was very stupid (blond). It was awful. But people are more empathetic than you think. No one laughed because she was just being mean. Many came up later to apologize for her and share their own fears. And I survived a worse case scenario like that. So that fear is off my list.
Pamela Worthington-Smack 3 years ago
Like having to share a seat on public transportation, this is easily prevented by violent twitching movements accompanied by drooling.
cecilia kilian 3 years ago
This! I was really enjoying a drag queen cabaret show, until one of the artists picked me to sing. I cannot carry a tune to save my life, like my kids forbade me to sing "Happy Birthday" when they were small.
You may think that trying to analyze your personality traits is useless, but you may benefit from knowing whether you're an introvert or extrovert. Sonja Lyubomirsky believes in what Francis Bacon once said, which is “knowledge is power,” because “It helps you understand that your reactions (e.g., need to rest after a party or take breaks) are normal and healthy.”
It is important to know because her observation is that “In the U.S., extroversion is relatively highly valued (e.g., in leaders, in job interviews, in speaking up in teams, on dates).” So she thinks that it is easier for extroverts to live in the current society in the US, but introverts shouldn’t think that something is wrong with them and their reactions, rather that it’s just how their brain and body works.
#8
"Wanna hang out this Saturday?"
"Sure!"
*Saturday arrives, 10 minutes before hangout time*
"Oh also I invited my friend you have never met before to join us"
"..."
Birgit M 3 years ago
This!!! I hate this so much! I‘m always convinced this person will hate me.
Danniee Gyrl 3 years ago
my reply: ok, have fun hanging out with that friend. ---Please do not spring strangers upon me. I barely want to hang out with people I know.
Peej Maybe 3 years ago
I don't mind this - until they totally ignore you and just focus on or talk exclusively to the friend they brought along
Yoga Kitty 3 years ago (edited)
One of my buddies did that - wanna come over for dinner? (Few minutes before dinnertime, completely unprepared.) Sure, I grab something out of the fridge and drive over, expecting just him, his wife and kids. But then there are also other friends with all their little children and what I expected to be just dinner turns into a barbecue with a whole bunch of kids younger than school age... Edit: I fell into this trap more than once, and somehow, as a woman, people assume I would have fun entertaining somebody else's toddlers. Guess what? If I enjoyed having kids around I would have gotten some of my own...
JustJackie 3 years ago
My partner likes inviting me to family events. He'll say so and so wil be there, my siblings, and this other person. Fine, I'll try prepare myself mentally, I can do this, bla bla bla. We get wherever we are going, walk in, and there will be 4 extra people I've never met. My anxiety goes up, I get stuck in my head, and end up looking rude, and uninterested because I don't know what to say.
#9
As a child my worst nightmare was when my parents got visitors and I'm stuck upstairs hungry and thirsty because I can't access the kitchen.
Duesvolent90 3 years ago
Yes, you finally try to ninja your way to the fridge and one of them see you and alert the rest like a chimpanzee
3 Owls In A Coat 3 years ago
OH THERE YOU ARE WHY HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING?!!! I hate it
Load More Replies... iblewsheep 3 years ago
that nasty water they keep dipping the ice cream scoop in is giving almost the same anxiety level!
A Thousand Years Wide 3 years ago
I never go to the grocery store with my Mom anymore because she knows the whole entire world. My Mom: "Oh hi! Becky that lived next to my friend in 1999! This is my daughter!". Me:Wants to hide behind the bread display! Maybe she didn't she me!
StrangeOne 3 years ago
I liked this for the food. My mom would make so many appetizers, food and a sparkling punch, plus dessert. But she would try so hard to be the perfect entertainer, and have everything go just right, I would get snapped at over the stupidest, smallest things. But I wasn't allowed to just hang out in my room cos she deemed it as rude to the adult guests and needed me to be there as proof she has a "lovely, helpful daughter".
Upstaged75 3 years ago
The worst is when you are an adult staying with your parents. People automatically look at you like a loser. Mom's like "why are you being so antisocial?". Um because I'm not interested in faking politeness with your friends.
Lady Lava 3 years ago (edited)
I don't get this... When I was young and my parents had visitors that were not coming for me, I just said hello to them and then I went moving on doing my own thing. And I just went to the kitchen when I was hungry or thirsty. Why wouldn't I? And to be clear, I'm an introvert and I don't like forced social interactions. My trick is to show with my body language and the way I talk that the conversation will be short. In a polite way of course, but clear. Most people see and respect that.
#10
“That’s not loud enough, I said ‘GOOD MORNING TEAM!’”
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago (edited)
No. I was never interested in being a cheerleader for my school, and still not interested in becoming one for the company. So f**k no. Besides, it’s all fake b******t anyway, like Potemkin Villages (just look it up) for corporate. F**k them.
Corban Burgess 3 years ago
Oh I know I heard you the first time the fact that I didn't say it with enthusiasm is because I don't want to be here.
Upstaged75 3 years ago
I've been accused of "not being a team player" for just doing my job and not socializing.
Do you feel that any of these situations are unbearable to you? Do you think you are actually introverted or have you been confusing it with social anxiety? Let us know your thoughts in the comments and if there are any “nightmares” that weren’t mentioned in the list, tell us about them as well!
#11
When the person you've been forced into meaningless small-talk with just straight-up does not read your subtle cues that you prefer to be left the f**k alone.
LittlePiggie 3 years ago
Especially when you have earbuds/headphones in/on or are actively reading a book.
Ruth Hempsey 3 years ago
Waiting for my husband to get a procedure and a woman decided she was my new best friend. I went outside saying I needed a cigarette and came back to her full of built up energy from my ten minutes away. Shut up. Go away! Ugh.
Robin Childers 3 years ago
I have told a few people to that whatever they're asking is none of their business, especially if it's personal.
Pamela Worthington-Smack 3 years ago
Oddly, conspicuous headphones are the most effective way of ensuring one need not listen.
athornedrose 3 years ago
even with obvious cues or outright asking to be excused, i cannot get some coworkers to understand that i need this to stop
#12
Comments like "Look who finally came out of their room" or "Oh wow you can talk!" When I finally step a bit out of my comfort zone.
Corban Burgess 3 years ago
I stare at them for a few seconds then turn around walk back into my room and shut the door.
UpQuarkDownQuark 3 years ago
Don’t make eye contact. Just say “Of course I can talk. I’m just particular about who I talk to,” and keep walking.
Shagun Srivastava 3 years ago
HONESTLY, THE ONLY THING THAT DOES IS PUSH US BACK INTO OUR SHELL
#13
People barging into my personal space uninvited
Krystol Grayson 3 years ago
We rent the basement from my in-laws and every Summer they invite the whole huge family. Guess who has to give up all of her space without any complaints if I don't want to lose the only affordable housing in my small expensive town?
Just Another Girl 3 years ago
Yes!! I wish stores would keep the social distancing signs. That part was a dream come true for me. Except instead of 6 feet, 10 would’ve been better.
Robert Robi Z 2 years ago
Mentioning personal space, I hate those who want to talk 'between us', i.e. straight into my face like 10 cm apart, so the others don't hear the conversation. I had a coworker who always wanted to talk like that, and I would always get away, she would come closer, I would get away, so sometimes we would have a walk around the room
Izzy Curer 3 years ago (edited)
Or strangers touching me. Literally, a man put his hand on my shoulder to move past me in a grocery store ten years ago, and I still think about it sometimes. I was livid. I nearly took him out, but he'd already moved out of range. In what world did he think that was okay?
StrangeOne 3 years ago
I couldn't be in such crowded areas. My fear would be being suffocated or crushed, or trampled on.
NJJenn1673 3 years ago
This happened to me yesterday while I was in my hospital's cafeteria. While I'm on line to pay, some woman comes RIGHT up behind, me. I took a small step forward and she followed!! I paid and got out of there real quick.
#14
Being forced into public speaking last moment.
zak 3 years ago
If I have to be the focus of attention like that, I will start blushing. Then, I will think "people can see me blushing" and I will just get redder and redder until basically ALL of my blood is in my face. 🤬
A P 3 years ago
me too - and then the heat from my face makes my face sweat. awful.
Load More Replies... Just Another Girl 3 years ago
Ok, so at my core, I am textbook introvert…except I like speaking in public. Still get nerves, but once I get going I like center stage. But immediately following, I don’t want anyone to approach me or talk to me. I go back to wallflower mode instantly. I do not understand this part of my personality.
Appalachian Panda 3 years ago
I'm the same way. If I'm in a more structured setting (in class or at a meeting, for example), I'm fine. It's informal conversations that give me trouble.
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Mabelbabel 3 years ago
I do a lot of teaching and presentations, and I've no problem speaking in public. That's because they aren't listening to me as an individual, they are concentrating on what I'm presenting. My worst nightmare is a dinner party with people I don't know-small talk is an art I don't have, but they would be interacting with me as an individual and there's no way to hide, you can't even take refuge in the kitchen if it's a dinner party. I hate them.
Miss Frankfurter 3 years ago
Same with me. I loved acting on stage even though I couldn’t handle social situations. I’m not me up there. I’m the character I’m playing. I can get away with a lot of stuff I would never do when I’m “me”. No judgement because it’s the character. And I have a script. Also, when I was at my nursing job I met strangers all day. Never a shy moment. Always new what to say. I actually used to get behind in my work because I enjoyed talking with my patients. It came so easy. But away from there in my private life, “What’s wrong with you? Why are you so quiet?”.
Load More Replies... Corban Burgess 3 years ago
"Uh..... um....." are the only words I can think of in those situations.
Nicholas McShane 3 years ago
I'd rather do that than prepare. I can get away with an off-the-cuff speech - probs because people don't expect much. It worked for my wedding anyway.
Injun Joe 3 years ago
Firefighter here. We have tours of our station during Fire Prevention Month. They used to have me speak. Until I got the nerve and told them exactly what I had in mind, how I felt being forced to speak, year after year of the Boy Scout asking, if our door is locked and other entrances are blocked, how are you going to save me? I did have something to say about that to the scouts and their parents of how asinine that sounds, and every year, the same group asks and I was hoping that the adults whoever is telling them this would grow up and give up that scenario. Needless to say I don't do any public speaking anymore. And also, the dept knows how severe my anxiety can be.
#15
Crowds
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago (edited)
Some people get off on being a part of a big and boisterous crowd. I just get claustrophobic and want to get the f**k out of there. Especially if people have been drinking. Cannot stand sloppy drunks individually, totally despise them collectively as a crowd.
Mary Bricklin 3 years ago
Oh, god. Crowds are not a good thing for me. I either get overstimulated and get chatty and bouncy or I just shut down completely.
Vix Spiderthrust 3 years ago
I envy people who can lose themselves in a mob mentality. I can't switch off like that. Makes a lot of things - concerts, sport - a total drag to attend.
Upstaged75 3 years ago
Crowds smell bad. I once braved a crowd to see my favorite band only to end up next to the smelliest person in America. It really ruined it for me. That was 15 years ago and the last time I went to a concert.
Heather Menard 3 years ago
This is my biggest problem. I always feel I am being judged or people look at me funny
Pamela Worthington-Smack 3 years ago
Crowds discomfit me but provide an ideal environment in which to select my next victim. Life is full of such quandaries.
Corban Burgess 3 years ago
I hate crowds I have Social Anxiety and being that close to so many people often triggers a panic attack, I hate that kind of s**t.
#16
School presentations.
Poly Amorous 3 years ago
That's actually why I got into animation, so I wouldn't have to speak in front of the class during my presentation. My recording would do it for me LOL
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RandomHumanBean 3 years ago
I HAVE TO DO ONE ON MONDAY AND IM SO SCARED FOR IT ITS THE FIRST ONE OF THE YEAR
Theo Blackwood 3 years ago
I’ve done a few in my life, in different languages no less but I do not remember what I said in any of them.
UpQuarkDownQuark 3 years ago
The last oral report I ever did was in 6th grade, and it was a nightmare. Any required oral report after that, I just took the F.
kitteh floof lover 3 years ago
in school, from elementary to high school, i always told my teacher anytime they assigned anything that included having to get up in front of the class and speaking, to give me an F, because i wasn't going to do that.
StrangeOne 3 years ago
I hate how the teachers don't stop the other kids from laughing and making fun of you. I had to do on on tornadoes, which I loved the project, but when I had to go up this loser girl kept mocking me through the whole presentation. She sat in the front so it was hard to not get distracted. If you tell a kid to stop the teacher tells you to keep going without stopping the bad behaviour. It's like they enjoy watching the anxious kids squirming. I don't get what is so important putting kids in uncomfortable situations like that.
CalicoKitty 3 years ago
I am, unfortunately, not exactly a loud speaker, and not great at judging how loud I am anyway, because I'm the sort of person who can hear people when the person sitting in front of me can't. I also speak quite quickly, 1) to keep up with the speed of my thoughts, 2) if I have something memorised, and 3) when I'm nervous. For some reason, watching some girl either over- or under-expressing herself while muttering away at 200 words a minute isn't very enjoyable for anybody, and yet they insist on doing it. Repeatedly. Weirdly enough this isn't nearly as much of an issue when I'm in a working situation, because my brain only likes to scream in certain social ones. So you can't even say you're preparing me for the real world! Yay presentations!
A Thousand Years Wide 3 years ago
Mine always went downhill if I had coffee that morning. I get coffee anxiety and jitters.
Craig Reynolds 3 years ago
Umm, nope. I'll take the fail thank you. I'll do the work but if you want it presented before the class, then YOU, the TEACHER, are going to have to do it.
#17
Waiter/waitress bringing cake and singing happy birthday in front of the whole restaurant
Duesvolent90 3 years ago
Yeah, I have that to look forward to tonight. When you ask them in the most serious tone you can muster not to have them sing for you, they will ALWAYS SNEAK OFF TO THE "BATHROOM" TO ASK THEM TO SING..I SAID NO FOR GODSAKE THAT MEANS NO!
Jackie Nettleton 3 years ago
Get up and leave it sends a very pointed lesson that you hate the singing and them for not respecting your choice
Load More Replies... Hey! 3 years ago
When our daughter turned 12, we went to a restaurant and they sang her HB. The server first introduced her to everyone in the restaurant by saying she just turned 16. She kept wanting to correct him all the time he was talking. Finally my husband realized it was a joke and told her to let it go. "But he's lying to all these people". Yep.
Rhea Williams 3 years ago
Just think how they feel, having to sing to someone they don’t know.
#18
A party where all people do is stand around and talk. For hours. I just want to be in bed with a book thanks
Lady Lava 3 years ago
Yes. The older I get, the less I care about being judged for this. I might leave early, but at least I come. People who know me well, know that I don't like parties, and showing up is already a big thing.
Load More Replies... iblewsheep 3 years ago (edited)
If i talked completely about everything i gave a s**t about, it would take me about 2 or 3 minutes....assuming no one interrupted that is.
Aaron Simonsen 3 years ago
Yes! If we go to a party, let's at least play a game of some kind! How can anyone just talk for hours? 😏
Pamela Worthington-Smack 3 years ago
Declining is an acceptable response to any invitation. People who regard themselves as introverts are, as often as not, merely people who lack the courage to set boundaries.
Wysteria_Rose 3 years ago
This is all the parties I end up at, and I hate it. I prefer ones with loud music, people dancing drunkenly, all because it's impossible to have to force conversation with people I don't know and probably won't see again.
#19
My college has put me in a shared room with a stranger who doesn't speak English. There is no where for me to go and re-charge my social battery. I am losing my mind- don't get me wrong, I like my roommate. She seems real sweet but by god I need a minute to myself.
Almarako94 3 years ago
Find a place to walk where no one else is, like a nearby forest or something.
$cagsy 3 years ago
A shared room would be very bad but I even hate it when I have to stay at a family member's home with my own room. I kind of just hide in there. They'll say 'make yourself at home' and I'll be like 'I'm starving, should I find a biscuit or is that stealing?' and 'Oh my gosh, I can't hold it in any longer, I really need to pee but I think someone might already be in there'. So you wait an hour with your legs crossed and then it's like 'There's probably nobody in there now if I dash but what if someone needs it while I'm peeing?'. Don't get me started on number 2s. Horrific.
François Carré 3 years ago
In Spain I was for 6 months in a room with a Czech guy who at first didn't speak a word of Spanish or French. Fortunately we both could speak English, and I found out he was just as introvert as me, so we became best friends pretty soon.
Wysteria_Rose 3 years ago
I am still best friends with my college roommate but it doesn't matter who I room with; eventually, I need alone space, alone time. I had days where all she did was walk in and I'd be irritated. It had nothing to do with her, I just needed private alone time to recharge from being out in public. Even my husband knows I have to have closed door privacy on occasion.
Rowan/Vin 3 years ago
Probably just makes it more awkward because there's literally no way to form a friendship or even talk to them
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Lilly Sanford 3 years ago
I've shared a room with my extroverted twin sister since we were born, and it's hell.
#20
Here's mine: meeting a coworker that you don't know very well on the train, locking eyes and having to engage in conversation for the next 30-40 minutes.
All you want to do is read your book, but there's no way out and you decide to put up a brave front.
They're not thrilled to see you because you already have a reputation for being kind of weird. The more you talk the weirder they think you are. You can see it in their eyes. Already you can hear the office gossip in your head: "Oh my God, guess who I was stuck on the train with..."
Nightmare fuel. Work from home was a blessing in this regard.
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
I have a problem associating names with faces, unless I spend a lot of time with people—-and even then, if I haven’t seen them in years, chances are good I don’t remember their names, or don’t want to anyway, if they were assholes to me. So situations like this are extremely awkward for me, and I usually try not to let them see me.
Cookie 3 years ago
The worst is when they come up to you and say "Don't you remember me??"
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#21
Finding a job
A P 3 years ago
interviews are the worst! Having someone stare at you while you're having to "sell" yourself and your skills
Rylosalex 3 years ago
Just read the resume and decided for yourself if I am good enough to work for you. That's it!!
Load More Replies... Claudia Schmid 3 years ago
This should be way higher up. I absolutely HATE job interviews. All this "selling yourself" and putting on a show. I just can't do that. And the thing is, even though I'm an introvert I will warm up and be chatty in an environment I feel comfy - it just takes time.
Wysteria_Rose 3 years ago
"Oh, yes, I'm a people person." ...if you PAY me to be a people person.
Russell Rieckenberg 3 years ago
Having to come up with personal references, or someone using you as a personal reference.
XrAtCaTkiD 3 years ago
in my case having to participate in class more in order to get good grades
Pamela Worthington-Smack 3 years ago
Neofeudal corporate capitalism requires that labor remain an extreme buyer's market that induces terror in its serfs. We must remember that our suffering is justified by the way it which it maintains godlike lives of the 0.01%. Think of it as an act of generosity toward those who deserve the opposite.
iblewsheep 3 years ago
phobia number one right there! That's why i have been it the same shitty one for 20 years.
StrangeOne 3 years ago
I'm so glad I got hired recently and don't have to go through that process for a while, hopefully.
#22
Small talk. If I'm gonna give you my attention and take myself out of my inner world you'd better have something stimulating to talk about.
Tabitha Frost 3 years ago
Is this man squatting and drinking milk out of a bag with a straw???
Bartolomeo Santafe 3 years ago
I'd say beer. If I can assume, this is the far-east. They have beer in a bag in China(?)
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Just Another Girl 3 years ago
I can do two minutes of small talk…maybe…if the weather is being unusual. Then I’m out and they better have something interesting to say otherwise we’re in for a long awkward silence.
François Carré 3 years ago
It's kinda painful for me too, and sadly it's about 30% of my job (what do you think is the main reason for lonely old ladies to spend their time in a library ?).
Pamela Worthington-Smack 3 years ago
I find few people need to be told "You're boring me" more than once.
#23
Networking events
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago (edited)
You mean talking a lot of b******t and acting like you like people you actually can’t stand, just to get ahead.
Just Another Girl 3 years ago
Where introverts are expected to “get outside your comfort zone” because extroverts don’t realize how far outside that zone you are just by doing life.
StrangeOne 3 years ago
I learned recently not everyone who's successful, and not every field, requires networking. I find it's a load of BS, especially as an artist. You'd think that's how you get ahead, but it's pointless. Show your work to an art seller and they'll give you a bs answer "We already deal with a couple artists. But you can try back in a few months." Just tell me you don't like my art and run along. Art should sell itself with a brief description.
Peej Maybe 3 years ago
Hate, hate, hate 'em and there are so many at work. One of the things to be thankful to COVID for was that for a blissful two years these didn't happen at all
#24
My wife: "Hey, do you wanna leave the house today?"
Pumpkin Spice 3 years ago
I hope you are OK even if you don't leave your house :)
Load More Replies... msminnie 3 years ago
COVID was almost a godsend for introverts. I am an essential worker so my general routine didn't change much but it was nice to be able to shop with fewer people and generally have fewer people around. I know COVID was excruciating for some and financially disastrous (not to mention those who got COVID or died from it) but I loved it.
Just Another Girl 3 years ago
Wrong question. The only place I ever want to be is on my couch with my dogs. Ask if I feel like I should leave the house today.
#25
ice breakers
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago (edited)
If they’re natural and spontaneous they’re not a problem, especially if the conversation then flows organically. If they’re forced and fake, f**k no.
#26
Public marriage proposal which they want to turn down.
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
I’m glad my husband proposed to me in private. If he’d ever publicly put me on the spot like that, I would never have married him. Respect the other person’s sense of privacy and never put them in such an uncomfortable position, ever. If you can’t do that, you don’t deserve to be married, because marriage is based on trust. That includes trusting the other person to never make you uncomfortable or embarrass you, ESPECIALLY in public.
StrangeOne 3 years ago
NO. I hope my boyfriend never does this. In fact, I'm going to warn him now.
UpQuarkDownQuark 3 years ago (edited)
About 20 years ago I saw this drunk bro who could barely stand utterly massacre Hotel California in a karaoke bar. Halfway through the song, he shout-slurs, “This is for girlfriend! I love you so much! Will you marry me?!” Other than the background music the place got dead quiet, and she was just frozen in place. She said yes, but then sort of dragged him out of the bar about five minutes later, where I’m pretty sure she took it back. God, I hope that was the case.
Pamela Worthington-Smack 3 years ago
In the interest of the general welfare, we should on sight stone the perpetrators of such aggression to death.
Michael Largey 3 years ago
If they're a lousy person, they deserve to be turned down. If they're a good person, you owe it to them to turn them down.
Hey! 3 years ago
The first day my now husband and I decided to go out together, he asked me to marry him and I said yes (then I fainted!). So that was that. But I did tell him that one of my conditions if he wanted to ask again later on that it needed to be really private, otherwise I would say no.
#27
Afterparties.
You mean there's more stuff to do after the stuff we planned on doing? I only have so much energy to deal with people and it was already used up.
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
As someone who usually spent the entire party playing with the host’s dog or cat anyway, going somewhere else for an after party would’ve been totally out of the question. Still applies today.
Viau Anna 3 years ago (edited)
Just go home instead of forcing yourself to do something you don't want to do, then whine about it 🙄😒
#28
A total surprise party for me at my place with everyone and their significant other so I’m essentially the 49th wheel at my own party. Kill me now.
Edit: I exaggerated the number but I have been a 9th wheel at a couples party (I did NOT know it was going to be all couples) but glad to know this is so relatable 🥲
TheAquarius1978 3 years ago
Do that to me, and i'l be exiting the same door i entered 10 seconds later, i really really don't like surprise parties to me, or any other type of party for that matter.
KnightOwl 3 years ago
My family wanted to throw me a surprise party for my 30th, apparently they were all excited and assumed I'd love it, until my oldest sister mentioned it to my granmother who instantly shut it down. Her response was "oh no she'd hate that" she then called my parents and told them that it was cruel to even consider doing that to me. The day after my birthday my sister told me about the plan and I told her I'd have just walked right back out and probably gone home and into hiding. Apparently that's what my gran had told everyone!
Yoga Kitty 3 years ago
Whew, thank God your granny was able to stop that - I HATE this kind of surprises with a passion!
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 3 years ago
If it's on my birthday I won't mind this. That is the one day I like being all about me. That's the one day I can allow myself to be a bit selfish and self absorbed. Every other time of the year I'm thinking about other people.
Isabel Care 3 years ago
I'd grab the cake, say thanks and leave. Text to check they've all gone before returning.
Almarako94 3 years ago
Wait, they made a couples party, at your place, knowing you are single? What the actual f*ck?
Lady Lava 3 years ago (edited)
Generally I don't like surprises, but years ago I had a surprise party organized for me, after I had been through a rough time. I went to a friend's house, assuming we would be making music together, like we often did, and suddenly there was that bunch of people...! I needed some time to get myself together, but in the end I actually enjoyed being with all the people I cared about in one room. And I found it so very sweet they even came up with this, and that all those guests came for me. For someone as insecure as I was at the time, it felt like a warm bath.
Pamela Worthington-Smack 3 years ago
Who doesn't love to be ambushed, particularly in their own home?
msminnie 3 years ago
Some friends wanted to have a surprise party for me for my 40th- just my friends and not family. They were pretty far in the planning when someone finally told my then-husband what the plan was and he told them under NO circumstance would I be happy in that situation. On my actual birthday they asked me how I felt about surprise parties and I confirmed what they had heard. Dodged a bullet!
#29
A large wedding. Being the center of attention for an entire day sounds f*****g terrible. Especially with a lot of family members I don’t particularly care for, or haven’t seen in years and having to pretend like I’m happy to see them and “oh my gosh it’s been soooo looong”.
Nooooo thank you.
Mother Of Magpies 3 years ago
Literally my worst nightmare. Been in a relationship for 27 years. But I will not ever ever EVER get married. Mostly for this reason.
UpQuarkDownQuark 3 years ago (edited)
I hate traditional weddings, and will not attend them anymore. My wife and I got married on a quiet beach in Oregon. My two oldest friends, her two oldest friends, and another friend officiating. Exchanging vows took maybe five minutes. Then we had an early dinner at a local restaurant. It was stormy and we had to seek shelter in a little tiny cove, but it really couldn’t have been more perfect.
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msminnie 3 years ago
When I got married the thought of a spectacle terrified us so we used the excuse of my family being out of state and my fiance's parents being in the middle of a bitter divorce as the reason we weren't having a family wedding. We didn't elope, we just didn't invite anyone and the church supplied the witnesses. If we were going to offend anyone we were going to offend everyone!
Michael Largey 3 years ago
If you don't want a lot of people there, don't invite a lot of people there. (And you can "elope" without leaving town.)
Lady Lava 3 years ago
I'm still happy with my small wedding. We had about 50 guests, our closest family and friends. Yes, some people were disappointed they weren't invited. But in the end it was our wedding, not theirs. We wanted to celebrate it the way we liked it and with the people that are the most important to us.
#30
Being asked to do some group activity on such short notice and being put on the spot without having a legitimate reason for not wanting to do it aside from “I just don’t feel like it”
The Problem With Censorship Is ******* 3 years ago
That's why I wear my Grumpy Cat T-shirt with the text: "I had fun once. It was awful."
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#31
Your parents force you to go to a summer camp because "they loved going to camp when they were kids!". It's one where you're not allowed a phone, sleep in a cabin with 12 other kids plus two of the most peppy, overly upbeat, overbearing camp councilors ever to exist.
It's day one of a week long camp. The morning starts with a 6am wakeup shout from Councilor A, who leads the cabin in a morning song before you're led to the communal showers. After everyone is dressed it's time for breakfast at the mess hall, where the camp leader has everyone sing the camp motto song before food is served. The food is everything you hate in particular.
The day is then filled with a barrage of group activities: Rockwall, group crafts, a talent show, swimming in a gross pond (in a bathing suit you hate that makes you feel self conscious), more camp songs, a SECOND talent show (WHY?!), overly competitive sports, etc.
Finally after singing for the 100th time dinner is over and people return to their cabins to sleep. Your councilors however decide before bedtime everyone needs to sit in a circle and share with the group about their lives. This share circle is going to happen every night of camp. One final obstacle each day to the minor reprieve that is lights out.
It's been six days of this level of constant over hyped interaction. It's lights out after the last day. You've done it, you survived. You go to sleep knowing tomorrow you get to go home. At 6am you are startled awake by your camp councilor. You're filled with a sense of deja-vu and dread. It dawns on you that this is Day 1 of camp all over again. You're stuck in a time loop groundhog's day style. An eternity of summer camp on repeat. An eternity in hell.
Just Another Girl 3 years ago
How bad do you have to act up to get solitary confinement or be sent home?
Maiju Niemistö 3 years ago
My daughter wanted to go to a summer camp and she actually loved it. And I'm wondering if I'm her mother after all...
Upstaged75 3 years ago
I'm mostly an introvert but I loved summer camp. (Technically I'm an ambivert, so I know that's a bit different) As an adult it would be my worst nightmare, but I have a lot of great memories from camp. Color War anyone? :)
Lady Lava 3 years ago (edited)
OMG, this person just described my worst nightmare...! 😱 As a nerdy, introverted, socially awkward and not very popular kid I hated these kind of things. I had to go on a class camp at the end of elementary school, and I found it totally awfull... It was only three nights, but I still think back of it in horror.
#32
A friend taking you out to a nightclub
Kate 3 years ago
Same. Great way to develop a drinking problem, as that was the only way I could deal with it.
Load More Replies... Nathaniel 3 years ago
Nightclub's are just a no no. I want a quiet drink in a quiet pub with some gentle conversation.
censorshipsucks 3 years ago
actually I asked him to, because I had social phobia. it literally cured me.
Load More Replies... Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago (edited)
I realized very early, in my mid-twenties, that nightclubs just aren’t my thing. The parties I really enjoyed? Parties with friends, where there were multiple generations invited, often a lot of family. Everyone from great grandparents down to babies would be there. No alcohol, maybe a glass of wine, no music turned up so loud you couldn’t hear someone even if they were shouting in your ear. But no one was there to get drunk and hook up, they were there because they truly enjoyed one another’s company. People would talk about what’s going on, whether in their own lives or everywhere, reminisce and tell stories about where they grew up and stuff they experienced. There would be toys for the kids to play with, and if any of them wanted to hear the stories, they weren’t shooed away. No one was trying to impress anyone, they were just having conversations. I always had the best and most relaxed time at parties like that, in comparison to the extreme discomfort of going to the club or someone’s equally loud and uncomfortable wild alcoholic house party. Haven’t been back in a nightclub or wild party since then, and that was the mid-eighties. Don’t miss it at all.
Duesvolent90 3 years ago
Oh god a strip club. No I don't want to waste money on a random girl giving me a lap dance. No I do not want to sit there awkwardly. No I don't want some random girl's bodily fluids all over me. I have to pay how much for a 3 minute song?? I can get all the above and much more from my wife so I'm out bruh
#33
Introverted cop here. Testifying in court sucks, especially when you're doing it solo and don't have a prosecutor just asking you questions. Solo is like 90% of all testimony though.
TheAquarius1978 3 years ago
Did that once, however i need to say that Português courts do not work like the American movie courts lol, here you go to a courthouse, you enter an Office, you give you're " declaration " and you're done, no audiences, no jury, nothing like that.
#34
I am introverted but have good social skills, and these comments are purgatory. I am wincing at all of them.
Thanks, I hate it.
Also— **Karaoke Night**.
Hey! 3 years ago
I went on vacation with my mother once while my husband was in China and one night was karaoke night. She filmed me while the guy (the entertainer) had his hand on my butt. I didn't even noticed. My husband and my brother noticed when my mother showed it around. My husband just laughed.
Pumpkin Spice 3 years ago
Your mother is disgusting and your husband needs to be talked to.
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 3 years ago
Surprisingly, I like karaoke night, as long as the KJ is cool and not a jerk, and the crowd is supportive. Am I nervous and shaking? F**k yeah. But it's the love of singing that gets me up there. It helped improve my self-confidence a bit. I just cannot sing in front of people I know.
sofacushionfort 3 years ago
Don’t worry: there’s a subsection of introverts whose defense mechanism is karaoke. They will take the stage and never yeild.
#35
Traveling to an event, like a big conference, where you’ll be with coworkers the entire time for two days, and you share a hotel room with two of them.
Literally no time away to yourself.
And you arrive home Sunday night, and you work on Monday at 0730.
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago (edited)
Get. Your. OWN. Room. Make up some plausible excuse not to share—-pay for it yourself if you have to (it’ll be well worth the extra expense, believe me). Make it as far away from the event goers’ cluster of rooms as possible. Do NOT, under any circumstances, tell anyone your room number. Even if they’re usually trustworthy, when people get drunk, they also get loose-lipped. Tell the front desk to take messages, specifying whose calls you’re OK with them putting through. Separate yourself as much as you realistically can from the crowd, so you can carve out that much-needed alone time without interruptions from overly enthusiastic (or just drunk and without inhibitions) coworkers and other attendees.
Carole Reid 3 years ago
I totally agree. I did not expect to feel this way at all but it felt like a ton of bricks to realize it.
Load More Replies... Upstaged75 3 years ago
I have traveled extensively for work for every job I've ever had and have NEVER been asked to share a room. That's completely inappropriate! I wouldn't be employed somewhere that expected that type of thing. And thankfully in my industry we get flex time off when we travel/work outside of regular hours. Companies that don't do it suck!
Alessa Gillespie 3 years ago
We have these events at work. They used to be 10 day trips, twice a year. COVID put them on hold thankfully. People tell me I'm lucky and how they'd love to have these at their place of employment. You don't get a minute off for yourself, it's basically being trapped at work
#36
something we have in the Netherlands that is called "hospiteeravonden".
Basically students here share a house (like a normal, family house) where each person rents a room and you share a living space, kitchen and bathroom together. And to get one of those rooms, the rest of the house usually has to pick you as their new room mate. So they organize these evenings where you go to the house and you meet the people living there, show the room and they get the chance to get an impression of you and possibly pick you to rent the room.
It's the worst because you constantly have to show them how much fun you are and how great you are and it is literally my nightmare and one of the reasons I never rented a student room lol
Upstaged75 3 years ago (edited)
Sounds like getting in to a Fraternity/Sorority in the US. Members literally vote on if you are cool enough to join their "family". My first year of college I decided to Rush (visit sororities to see which ones I liked). My mom was a sorority girl and had talked it up as being the best thing ever. I only lasted a few days before I dropped out. It definitely wasn't my jam.
Hey! 3 years ago
Both my sons ended up at the wrong house to rent. The introvert with the extroverts and the extrovert with the extroverts. It was funny.
#37
A ad-hoc talent show with co-workers. As someone who's maybe not a full introvert but has a limit on my extroverted'ness... this happened to me and I basically said "no thanks".
Michael Largey 3 years ago
Putting me before my co-workers in a talent show would violate almost every OSHA regulation in the book.
Peej Maybe 3 years ago
A what with who now? Who even does this? What kind of evil organisation would you have to work for that does this kind of thing?
What do you think ?
K- THULU 3 years ago
Yep... All of the above... Except the socializing ones.... Haven't done that for 20 years...
Load More Replies... ItsJess 3 years ago
My daily dilemma is figuring out a route in my neighborhood when I'm walking the dog that will result in the least amount of contact with neighbors. I have one lady (who is very kind, I just am terrible at talking to strangers) who actually comes out of her house if she hears us going by (like if she hears my dog bark). There's another lady who is always doing yard work outside who expects me to stop and make small talk even though it makes me incredibly uncomfortable. She hates dogs yet always tries to pet my dog. Our trainer finally got us these patches to stick on her harness that say "PLEASE DONT PET ME". I love taking walks outside, and the weather is getting great, but I have to always think about the time of day and where it might be safe for us to walk with minimal interaction.
Hey! 3 years ago
I had found this on Pinterest a while ago but never could use it until now. I-regret-t...5bbde1.jpg 
Brendan 3 years ago
I am extremely shy; very much introverted. Conversely, I enjoy karaoke, dancing in clubs, and I even loved doing speeches at weddings (as a groom and a groomsman...not at the same wedding lol). Making (or joining in) conversation is the biggest challenge for me. I will avoid it any way I can.
Izzy Curer 3 years ago
I guess I'm not as introverted as some might believe. I don't mind talking to people or meeting people. But I do I understand the work-related ones.
Ruth Hempsey 3 years ago
Being on a 13 hour transatlantic flight with a chatty stranger next to you who won't let you read your book or close your eyes to rest, even though you've turned off your light and snuggled with your pillow and you've already told them you're going home because your parent died. I wanted to murder that person.
Izzy Curer 3 years ago (edited)
Just tell them you don't want to talk. Sorry for your loss.
Load More Replies... Gianna B D 3 years ago
I hate how the internet conflates introversion with social anxiety. Do I, an introvert, *like* doing a lot of the things on this list? No. Would I describe them as "nightmares"? Also no.
K- THULU 3 years ago
Yep... All of the above... Except the socializing ones.... Haven't done that for 20 years...
Load More Replies... ItsJess 3 years ago
My daily dilemma is figuring out a route in my neighborhood when I'm walking the dog that will result in the least amount of contact with neighbors. I have one lady (who is very kind, I just am terrible at talking to strangers) who actually comes out of her house if she hears us going by (like if she hears my dog bark). There's another lady who is always doing yard work outside who expects me to stop and make small talk even though it makes me incredibly uncomfortable. She hates dogs yet always tries to pet my dog. Our trainer finally got us these patches to stick on her harness that say "PLEASE DONT PET ME". I love taking walks outside, and the weather is getting great, but I have to always think about the time of day and where it might be safe for us to walk with minimal interaction.
Hey! 3 years ago
I had found this on Pinterest a while ago but never could use it until now. I-regret-t...5bbde1.jpg
Brendan 3 years ago
I am extremely shy; very much introverted. Conversely, I enjoy karaoke, dancing in clubs, and I even loved doing speeches at weddings (as a groom and a groomsman...not at the same wedding lol). Making (or joining in) conversation is the biggest challenge for me. I will avoid it any way I can.
Izzy Curer 3 years ago
I guess I'm not as introverted as some might believe. I don't mind talking to people or meeting people. But I do I understand the work-related ones.
Ruth Hempsey 3 years ago
Being on a 13 hour transatlantic flight with a chatty stranger next to you who won't let you read your book or close your eyes to rest, even though you've turned off your light and snuggled with your pillow and you've already told them you're going home because your parent died. I wanted to murder that person.
Izzy Curer 3 years ago (edited)
Just tell them you don't want to talk. Sorry for your loss.
Load More Replies... Gianna B D 3 years ago
I hate how the internet conflates introversion with social anxiety. Do I, an introvert, *like* doing a lot of the things on this list? No. Would I describe them as "nightmares"? Also no.
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