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28 Must-Have Life Skills That Nobody Taught These Internet Users
Even though people have a lot in common, they still have very unique upbringings. Your background, culture, community, family life, and the specific way you were raised can give you all the tools you need to succeed in life… or leave you wondering why you haven’t developed must-have skills that all grown-ups seemingly should have.
Recently, some of the members of AskReddit opened up about the life skills they feel like they missed out on because nobody taught them, only to later realize that pretty much everyone around them seems to have picked them up somehow. Scroll down to read their thoughts.
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#1
The ability to figure out what to make for dinner every day. That looked so much easier as a kid.
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#2
As a person with autism, the whole menu is the "secret menu". It feels like the whole world was given the owners manual on "How to be a Human" and all I got was the 5 page IKEA manual.
#3
I realised I didn’t have to get up at 7am on a Sunday, get dressed, & sit in the lounge listening to the radio.
I learned it was ok to buy branded foods if you liked them better.
I learned I could have a nap anytime, not just when I’m ill.
And I learned to drive after being told it was “too technical” for me, I wouldn’t understand it. He ( my dad) successfully put my mum & sister off learning to drive but I learnt on the sly. I passed my test with the local Chief Examiner- a Mrs Elizabeth Brown. He exclaimed “is that allowed?” as if women driving instructors/ examiners didn’t exist.
I also learnt to ride a bike despite it being “too dangerous.” Same for swimming—neither my mum or sister dared but I just snuck off. Learned at school & represented the school at swimming.
A lot about your childhood depends upon your family’s mix of parenting styles. Permissive parents, who see their children more as friends than dependents, might let you figure things out more for yourself, which is an important part of growing up. However, that lack of direction, guidance, and rules can lead to some problems down the line regarding boundaries and impulsive behavior.
Authoritarian parents, on the other hand, might be big on discipline and commands at home, but their lack of communication and over-the-top strictness can make their children anxious and lacking initiative. In short, these kids either grow up to be good at following commands—or they rebel against their parents.
However, authoritative parents provide a good balance between rules, regulations, and expectations on the one hand and support, communication, and openness on the other. They’re warm and nurturing while also setting clear expectations and consequences for their children’s behavior. Kids who grow up in authoritative households tend to grow into very confident, independent, socially competent, and generally well-adjusted individuals.
#4
That you don't need to be constantly doing something productive. You can and should disconnect sometimes, just go watch a movie, read a book, or play a video game. Reddit and other social media will still be there. You aren't missing out on anything.
#5
How to self-motivate, I'm 32 and have no clue how to force myself to do something. Go to the gym, study, do laundry, make a Dr. appointment, even shower sometimes. This might be my ADHD/depression/anxiety but I see other people teaching themselves how to code, going to the gym regularly, eating healthy etc.
There will always be some subjectivity when people talk about life skills that they personally believe are must-haves. Someone who’s very outdoorsy might want their children to be independent and physically active or spend lots of time in nature, join the scouts, and learn survival skills. Meanwhile, parents who are academics might emphasize reading, studying, academic performance, financial literacy, and other more cerebral pursuits.
The core skills to focus on in life, at least at the start, are directly related to self-sufficiency. You need to know how to live independently and when needed, help others in your family and community.
For example, learning how to cook, clean, and do household chores isn’t something you can ignore. You cannot rely on others to constantly pick up after you. Not only is that unfair to them, but it also puts you in a weaker position when you have to live by yourself. How are you going to survive on your own if you can’t boil some pasta or put together a sandwich?
#9
That things get better when you start doing all the hard s**t consistently until eventually it becomes second nature. Also motivation doesn't happen on its own, you have to push yourself each and every day to take the necessary actions to succeed.
Other vital life skills include things like financial literacy (budgeting, doing your taxes, saving, investing, etc., so you can live below your means), taking care of your health (proper exercise, eating a nutritious diet, getting plenty of sleep, managing stress), and managing your relationships (developing emotional intelligence, focusing on positive friendships, etc.).
There’s honestly nothing shameful if you don’t know a handful of skills that other people do. The important thing is to embrace the fact that you’ve got some knowledge gaps and then take the steps you need to rectify the situation. Do some research, practice those skills hands-on, look at your ‘failures’ as growth opportunities, and just keep repeating things until they become a habit. The important thing is to do something—anything—to improve your situation instead of beating yourself up for not having done so in the past.
#10
That the game is rigged.
Literally based on where you are born and who you are born to will determine your life trajectory so much more than how hard you work.
We're sold the lie that "work hard, do well" will get us where we want to be. The reality is that unless you're born well off or get extremely lucky, life will be unfairly difficult and you'll likely never get what you actually deserve.
#11
I tell you what, sometime between my parents and my generation, we lost knot-tying. My father in law has a repertoire of like a dozen or more knots he can use for different situations and I’m just looping and pulling nearly randomly.
#12
How to motivate myself in the mornings. And this was always a problem for me, and was always written off as being lazy or a hard sleeper. When in reality, my ADHD brain would light up at night and I'd find it hard to go to bed early, fall asleep quickly, stay asleep. My deepest sleep hours are from 4-8, I'm zonked. In college, it was often impossible to get me to class for an 8:30 class. My pathetic morning brain knew by having to teach myself the info later from other people's notes id learn it better than if I got to class late, dozed through it, had issues for the rest of the day... But I was told I'm lazy when really my brain was different than my mother and roommates idea of motivation and habit setting.
What life skills do you feel you learned way too late compared to your family, friends, and colleagues, dear Pandas?
Meanwhile, what skills do you personally value the most and think any grownup around the world should know? We’d love to hear your thoughts on this! Share yours in the comments below.
#13
My parents taught me everything from sewing to home-maintenance and small engine repairs. This is pretty common I where I grew up. Here in Ottawa/Canada people seem to think I’m freaking McGuyver.
#14
I missed the boat on playing around with makeup while it was socially acceptable to be terrible at it. At 23, I interviewed for a clerical position that wouldn't have any customer-facing tasks. At the end of the 30min interview, the woman rejected me. I asked if there was anything I could work on to make myself a more appealing applicant, and she said, "You have everything we're looking for, but if you can't even give us the benefit of blush, what can we really expect from your performance? A girl your age should know better."
That night, I cried to my boyfriend about how belittled I felt and spiraled over how many other opportunities I missed because I never felt the need to learn how to do makeup. I spent the next several days binge watching YouTube tutorials and product reviews, trying to build a skill I never knew I needed. I figured that even if I only ever used it in job interviews, at least I'd have the skill in my back pocket. My boyfriend picked up extra shifts to buy me my first set of products and brushes, but reminded me the whole way through that he loved my face no matter what some dumb old b***h in a blazer said.
I got fairly good at doing my own face, and it really did make a difference in how professionals treated me as a young woman in the workforce. 10 years later, it's crazy to think about how a single bad interview has cost me thousands in makeup but brought me hours of fun. I'm addicted to lipstick and rarely go out without it. H**l, I put it on to do my dishes.
#15
Emptying the dryer lint. First time I moved out at 22, noticed that over the first few months my dryer would take longer and longer to dry my clothes. Mentioned it to my mother and she asked if I had been clearing the lint.
It was a brick of lint, like a geological survey of all the loads that contributed to it.
It’s a good thing I never burnt my apartment down.
#17
How to eat like a normal person. my eating disorder started when i was like 8 and now i just have no idea how to eat a normal amount of food and talk about food normally. i hear the phrase "eat when you're hungry and stop eating when you're full" but like. how do you know when you're hungry and full? if it's some innate sense i lost it long ago.
#18
All the nuances of home maintenance. Thankfully, I've found some good resources for this but I'm 10 years into home ownership and still finding new things to do better.
#19
I was always told to wear plastic bags on your feet when you run in the snow to keep your feet warm and dry. However, no one told me they actually go on your feet. UNDER your shoes. First time I took this advice I layered two plastic bags around my running shoes and tied them around my ankles, and was very confused why the bags kept ripping and I was slipping all over. Some old man passed me up and said “honey I think those go on your feet, not your shoes.”.
#20
Being confident. We were laughed at and unsupported as children and were not allowed to have an opinion.
#21
Networking.
How was I supposed to know that I need to keep in contact with everyone I have ever worked with on the off chance that they can get me in the door for job openings? No one told me this.
#23
My personal list of skills I picked up after I left home:
social dancing
public speaking
socializing in a work environment
budgeting
basic understanding of laws and taxes
work with difficult people
going out alone
do whatever you want.
#24
I noticed alot of people are afraid to speak out when they see something wrong. Like they hope someone else will deal with it.
#25
Useless knowledge. I know alittle bit about alot of things. I know all manner of facts that in no way actually help me in any sort of daily life situation.
#26
[darn], Mom had severe ADHD and Dad 'went out for cigarettes' when I was 12. Nobody taught me anything.
#27
As stupid as it sounds, but that you have the freedom to do whatever. You spend the first 20 years of your life being told "no you can't do that" for various reasons, it took me years to figure out that I can just go to the town over for an event if I want to.
#28
I feel like nobody ever really taught me how to be comfortable with authority. Growing up I had a horrible time actually following rules and doing what I was told. I was actively defiant. The only person I respected was my father. And thats because he genuinely scared me. Now, as an adult, I become aggressive and violent whenever I am told what to do by anyone.
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