Husband Sleeps On The Couch Because His Gynecologist Wife Won’t Shower Before Bed, Asks The Internet If He’s A Jerk
Communication, communication, communication! It’s the bedrock of happy and healthy relationships. Without it, people are left silently frustrated at their partners, letting their resentment build up over the months and years. But let’s be honest, it can be incredibly uncomfortable to start talking about sensitive topics like hygiene.
Redditor u/abovetherestaurant opened up to the AITA online community about how he decided to start sleeping on the couch because his wife, who works at the hospital as a gynecologist, doesn’t shower before coming to bed. The OP wondered whether he was a jerk, and the community was divided. Read on for the full story and how the internet reacted. Bored Panda has reached out to u/abovetherestaurant and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from him.
A man revealed how he’s been feeling uncomfortable that his wife, a medical professional, doesn’t shower before bed
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
He explained how he even took to sleeping on the couch because he was scared for his health
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/abovetherestaurant
The husband really listened to everyone’s advice on the matter
The dilemma sounds simple on the surface, however, things are a tad more complicated when you start thinking about it. Redditor u/abovetherestaurant, explained how his wife works around bodily fluids all day long. Fearing slightly for his health, he shared that he’d appreciate if she took a short shower after getting back home from the hospital. It would put his mind at ease.
Meanwhile, his wife believes that he’s overreacting by sleeping on the couch. There was a wide range of opinions about the entire situation. While some AITA community members were on the OP’s side, others noted that he might have been a bit unreasonable. The upside is that the author of the story seems to genuinely have taken everyone’s advice to heart. He promised that he’ll try to find a compromise with her.
Image credits: Andrew Neel (not the actual photo)
It’s up to you to decide whether you want to be straightforward or subtle when talking to your partner
Tackling issues like hygiene can be quite uncomfortable because it feels like we’re ‘attacking’ the person we’re criticizing. In short, it’s a taboo topic. However, when the alternative is living with mounting frustration, the only alternative left to you is to talk to your partner about what concerns you. Whether it’s their showering routine after work or something far more specific.
Your choice, then, is how you approach things. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach because all couples are different. You’ll know best if your partner likes the direct approach or a far more subtle way of hinting at the core problem.
Dr. Ruth told Time that when it comes to hygiene, “the worst thing” that you can do is say nothing if there’s a hygiene issue. If you avoid the problem, it might lead to intimacy issues or even the entire relationship crumbling apart.
“One way to get your point across in a positive manner is to convince your partner to take a shower or bath with you. Then rather than having to say something negative, you can make a positive statement such as ‘I love it when you smell so clean,’” Dr. Ruth explains, adding that it’s worth a try, even if your partner might not take the hint.
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
Medical professionals know how essential good hygiene is
Meanwhile, any serious medical professional will take hygiene seriously. Odds are that they are incredibly meticulous about washing their hands and skin while at work. They might even take showers at work to ensure that the proper standards are maintained. Of course, slip-ups can and do happen. Which is what can make some family members slightly concerned about germs.
The CDC stresses that hand hygiene is essential when it comes to protecting both patients and coworkers alike. By cleaning your hands, you’re preventing the spread of germs. Depending on the line of work, some healthcare personnel may need to clean their hands a whopping 100 times per shift. And those workers who follow the rules to the letter might feel slightly annoyed if their loved ones don’t trust that they’re doing everything in their power to keep everyone healthy.
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto (not the actual photo)
The author of the story shared some more context with all of his readers
The post started up a discussion online. Some people thought that the man was clearly in the wrong
Meanwhile, others were on his side. Here’s what they had to say about the whole situation
I'm a nurse. I'm highly suspicious of your wife's hygiene standards and her professional practices. When I get off work I can't wait to burn my skin through a blistering hot shower and bleach everything. And I work in the NICU which is one of the cleanest places in the hospital. Hospital are filthy, full of dangerous disgusting body fluids and living/ non living organisms. Idk how your wife can go to bed let along fall asleep with all that filth
I think there's some info missing. I would have thought medical professionals would shower and/or wash at the hospitals after their shift. But even then, the way OP puts it as if she's covered with bodily fluids head to toe and refuses to shower. It sounds more like a preference from OP to shower before bed which is great and I do that myself but it's preference not everyone likes. We as average people are taught that hospitals are extremely dirty and full of diseases but I think going on London underground is dirtier and people don't get showers every time they emerge from the tube.
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I'm a teacher and I get coughed on, sneezed on, cried on and even vomited on. When I get home, shoes off at the door, clothes straight into the hamper, me straight into the bath with a bath-safe disinfectant. Was this way before and after the pandemic. I only caught the omicron virus AFTER they removed the mask mandate (not even a month after)!
I think when you have worked in healthcare you become a bit desensitised to the idea of body fluids. But if my partner was made to feel a bit queezy by the thought of anything being still on me when I got into bed I would shower no question, regardless of whether I thought I needed it or not.
Exactly! I figure everyone gets ti decide when they shower but if hubby asked me to shower before bed, I would.
Load More Replies... I'm a nurse. I'm highly suspicious of your wife's hygiene standards and her professional practices. When I get off work I can't wait to burn my skin through a blistering hot shower and bleach everything. And I work in the NICU which is one of the cleanest places in the hospital. Hospital are filthy, full of dangerous disgusting body fluids and living/ non living organisms. Idk how your wife can go to bed let along fall asleep with all that filth
I think there's some info missing. I would have thought medical professionals would shower and/or wash at the hospitals after their shift. But even then, the way OP puts it as if she's covered with bodily fluids head to toe and refuses to shower. It sounds more like a preference from OP to shower before bed which is great and I do that myself but it's preference not everyone likes. We as average people are taught that hospitals are extremely dirty and full of diseases but I think going on London underground is dirtier and people don't get showers every time they emerge from the tube.
Load More Replies... I'm a teacher and I get coughed on, sneezed on, cried on and even vomited on. When I get home, shoes off at the door, clothes straight into the hamper, me straight into the bath with a bath-safe disinfectant. Was this way before and after the pandemic. I only caught the omicron virus AFTER they removed the mask mandate (not even a month after)!
I think when you have worked in healthcare you become a bit desensitised to the idea of body fluids. But if my partner was made to feel a bit queezy by the thought of anything being still on me when I got into bed I would shower no question, regardless of whether I thought I needed it or not.
Exactly! I figure everyone gets ti decide when they shower but if hubby asked me to shower before bed, I would.
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