I was invited to a low key dinner thing at the local Chili’s with a group of people I tangentially knew. Like 20ish people I guess. Ended up sitting at a booth by myself across the way from the main table because I didn’t know anyone enough to really put up the effort into sit next to them. That, and searing social anxiety. So I ended up being the odd man out (very self fulfilling in retrospect). I ordered an iced tea, got super anxious and self-hating about the situation and worked myself up pretty good. Had a bit of an agoraphobic, world-closing-in-on-me moment. Made the split second and irreversible decision to bail out and I left the only bill I had in my wallet on the table because I didn’t want to have to wait another f*cking second for the waitress to show up and pay for my ~$1.50 drink. That waitress got a $99.50 tip.
Friends husband pulled a 'Homer disappearing backwards into the hedge gif' move when he was trimming the hedge and people came to visit. Doubly awkward cause they saw him do it and he just stayed in the hedge.
This was back in high school.
I woke up at 7AM on the day we had poetry recitation for Literature. I used to have extreme stage fright and didn't know how to act accordingly in front of an audience. So I came up with a game plan.
After getting showered and dressed for school, I purposefully threw myself down the flight of stairs, and pretended to get badly hurt, in order to avoid having to go to class. Ended up stayed in the hospital for a day.
3.5/10 would not recommend
All last fall, I took camping trips with my dog only. Just wanted to enjoy the quiet, meditate, hike, and read. If you've never done it, I really recommend it.
Put duct tape around the top and bottom of my dorm room door and taped over the peephole so no one could tell if my lights were on from inside the dorm
I was about fourteen, at my most awkward and gangly and antisocial.
It was fairly early in the morning, and I was in my room getting dressed. Suddenly I hear voices down the hallway. My dad had organized some guys to come in and install an air con system, and was showing them round before he left for work.
I was half dressed, in my underwear, and panicked.
A normal person would have, I don't know, called out that I was getting changed and asked them to wait?
I jumped, half naked, into my closet.
You can guess what happened next.
It happened to be that they needed to run pipes above the closet. My dad opened up the door and there they were, him and the three middle aged install guys all peering in at me cowering in horror in the corner.
I'm not sure if it was more mortifying for dad or me, though. He apologized and shut the door and just carried on like nothing had happened, as if his daughter usually hung out half-naked in closets.
The worst part was they were working in the house for about another three days. I literally climbed out my window each day after that to avoid seeing them.
Learned german. Don't wanna talk to that random stranger who trying to sell you something? Say a few lines of german and they'll go away.
Shit, I've dumped my half full basket on the floor and left for another store after seeing people I knew. It's one thing going through the initial small talk, but to keep bumping into them every aisle, that's too f*cking much.