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Btw, my mom and I don't hate each other, we have a good relationship.

So...my mom is a nurse. She works night shifts, all that, so her eating habits are a bit strange. She eats NOTHING but carbs. I tried cooking her nice healthy meals (and they tasted good too tbh) but she refused to eat them, saying she was full, but then later eats an entire loaf of bread (I AM NOT KIDDING OR EXAGGERATING ON THIS).

This started ever since she got a nursing job (before I was even born). Some days I would even miss breakfast or have only an apple cause she ate all the bread. It's been years since we've had a family meal together with her, cause she refuses to eat anything but carbs. She's not overweight or obese, because being a nurse is VERY tiring so you know...she loses calories a lot. But I'm really worried that she will get stomach/intestinal/nutritional/etc. problems later. She already barfs a lot, and due to low fiber takes a lot of laxatives every night. We checked a psychologist and nutritionist for eating disorders and all that, but found nothing. My dad refuses to tell their doctor that she eats all this carb.

Moving on, so one day I baked a lovely cherry pie. It was really beautiful, spent the whole day making it, I was proud. So I set it on the counter to let it cool down after it was out of the oven, and put a sticky note next to it saying "be careful it's hot! Pie after dinner!" But then I realized Ember (my cat) had escaped from the open window (sneaky little bug she is)! So I ran outside to find her(don't worry she was safe she just saw a bird or something).

When I came back, the pie tin was gone. I was out, for 10-15 minutes to catch a cat, and it was gone. I caught my mom upstairs chomping it down. I was devastated and yelled at her for eating the pie I was saving to share with everyone after dinner.

After my dad came home from golfing (yes he does that he's an old man) my mom was crying. She told him that I was "forcing her to starve". My dad scolded me and threatened to kick me out if I ever talked to my mom like that again. AITA?

#1

As I said, we're on good terms still. She says she loves me, that was just a heated argument moment.

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spaggie1 avatar
Brenda Spagnola-Wilson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your mom was totally in the wrong. People who love each other can argue & fight and still love each other.

#2

NTA. I'd be mad, too if my mother ate a pie I made for everyone. That's just greedy. But also, she should really try eating healthy, too, besides eating only carbs, that's very worrying. Also, your dad should have told the doctor about it instead of not telling them, or your mother should have herself, not telling a doctor is just going to make the long-term situation worse, but that's just my opinion. Have a good day :)

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kateyunlee0429 avatar
Monika
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's really hard to make her try to eat healthy. I once made a nice vegetable pasta for her because it seemed perfect, carbs + vegetables so i thought she would eat it. But she said she was full, then proceeded to grab a brioche bun from the counter and eat it infront of my eyes. I can't force her to eat stuff she doesn't like or want. Have a good day as well :D

#3

NTA. You worked to make a nice dessert for everyone, and left a note saying that. Even if she didn't see the note, maybe she overlooked it, it still doesn't excuse eating a whole pie that you should definitely know isn't yours. And "forcing her to starve??! That's dramatic.
That being said, there is most likely a medical reason for her behavior. Maybe she's craving it because her blood sugar is low, or some other underlying issue physiological or otherwise. But it seems like you already know that. I am in no way a doctor, that's why she needs one. Is your dad expressed concern in the past about your mom's eating habits? Why won't your dad tell her doctor?
You need to sit down with your dad privately and try to get through to him, if that's possible. Better would be to try to be supportive and voice your concerns with your mom.
I'm not sure if that helps. But, again. You are NTA. I'd bug the f**k out if someone took my pie! I hope everything works out

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kateyunlee0429 avatar
Monika
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My parents both agreed to not tell the doctor cause it's "too embarrassing" My dad does sometimes comment on my mom's eating habits, and tries to keep carbs away from her reach, but 1 he never stops her and 2 she finds them anyways I still miss the pie :(

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#4

you have EVERY right to be angry. i mean, you put time and hard work into a nice dessert, and your mother eats it all while you’re being a responsible cat owner and looking for Ember.

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#5

I’d be mad ngl. But my mom wouldn’t be that rude and do that. Also Monika u never answered my question on that comment I made. U said something about pronouns and I said well what r ur pronouns? Also I can’t cook so that situation wouldn’t happen lol

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kateyunlee0429 avatar
Monika
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think I did respond! Well, my pronouns are they/them :)

#6

NTA. As a nurse, she should know better. Your dad should tell the doctor, whether your mom agrees to it or not. Saying embarrassing things is often the way to find out your ailments. For now, sneak broccoli into brownies, bake veggies into muffins, make 'mashed potatoes', but it's actually mashed cauliflower, ect. Your family is a bit backwards from mine, because my mom tries to get us to be healthy, but most of us just eat whatever and whenever. I do eat healthy sometimes, though, like eating salad lettuce without anything on it when I need to boredom eat.

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kateyunlee0429 avatar
Monika
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's a great idea! I once tried brownies made from avocados, and they tasted just like regular brownies. A funny thing is, my mom actually did try to get us to be healthy too, so she's sort of s hypocrite. She would rant that "too much icecream will make you fat" and "you should cut down on carbs dear" . funny for her to say that.

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#7

Your mom is at fault. You worked hard on the pie, and she disrespected that completely!

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#8

NTA. I think your mom might have a pretty nasty disordered eating issue. If you need any help, I am sadly very experienced in that. :)

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#9

You are definitely not TA. Your mom not only ate you Cherry pie that you worked hard on, she lied to your dad!

Also, I am not a doctor but your mom needed to see a doctor for only eating carbs.

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#10

NTA. My mom also thinks she can just do whatever she wants. And the responsibility falls where it will. I dont speak to her anymore.

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#11

My friend have this exact same problem. He have an eating disorder, by the way, and he eats carbs only (and ice cream). No fruit/vegs. No meat. Just bread, rice, stuff like that. He isn’t even fat, BTW. But if he doesn’t have carbs in his house to eat he’d flip out and scream and yell at his girlfriend (my BFF) to buy him food. Other than that he’s normal, but he refuse to go to a doctor or something like that. Really bizarre, but I think it’s eating disorders. My BFF’s tried sneaking an entire salad into his bread but obviously it didn’t work, since he only eats small amounts of other stuff and then… ice cream.

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kateyunlee0429 avatar
Monika
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel so sorry for your friend, my sympathies. My mom is sort of like that too. She eats only carbs, and on VERY rare occasions she will eat a tiny spoon/forkful of something else

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