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Adults Mortified When They Realized That Their 26 Habits As Kids Were Actually Red Flags
Article created by: Monika Pašukonytė
Oh, how naive we are during our childhood, thinking that life is nothing but joy, cupcakes, and rainbows! However, once we grow up, the reality monster comes knocking at the door, and we are hit with epiphanies, some good, some amusing, and some mortifying.
The Reddit user New_Storm430 brought up one such horrifying realization when she inquired, “What’s a ‘harmless’ habit you had as a kid that turned out to be a red flag in hindsight?” Well, her question released the floodgates as people rushed forward with their answers, and some of them are quite dank and relatable. Just scroll down to check them out for yourself!
More info: Reddit
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#1
Getting SUPER attached to anyone I felt any hint of a connection with, to the point of it being quite creepy & unhealthy. Lost several friends over it who were not amused, to say the least.
Every time I found someone I thought I could be friends with, I latched on with an iron grip & that person would become my “obsession” of the moment (yes, I can use that word now, even as ashamed as I am of it). I spent years trying to overcome this part of myself and deep down inside, I know the tendencies are still there, thus the reason why I now choose to remain aloof from all but a chosen few people. I never want to get that way with anyone ever again.
I look back now and cringe hard at what I put people through growing up. I realize now it was undiagnosed ASD & abandonment/attachment issues from never quite fitting in, being excluded from my peers and moving around a lot.
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#3
"I can do it myself"
It developed into hyper independence which has had its impact on my relationships. Hard to trust someone who keeps one foot out the door.
#4
Retreating to my room and hiding in fictional worlds (video games, reading) instead of talking out my emotions (from emotional childhood neglect). Now as an adult, my first instinct is to hide and self-preserve when I have an issue, and it's been a struggle to make myself open up and communicate in a healthy manner.
I try to make it a point to go after my kids and talk to them when they're upset (after letting them cool down if needed), instead of ignoring them in their rooms and assuming everything is fine when they finally emerge later.
#5
Being able to read people’s emotions and adapt very quickly. There is a difference between cognizant of the emotional experience of others and being empathetic and holding space for that, and being hypervigilant due to trauma, and erasing your whole self in the process to the point where nobody actually knows who you are. And even if you have valid points of concern, it’s buried under mountains of people, pleasing behavior and indirect surfacing of your concerns. You will forever feel like your needs are getting unmet, but that’s because since you never felt yourself worthy of having needs you create confusion and ambiguity for others. Most of all you attract people who rely on you to be in that people pleasing space. You can’t have boundaries.
#8
Stealing.
It was small things like stickers and shiny objects and stuff. I realised it was bad when I decided to steal my roommates heels. I felt really bad and I kept it back in it's place.
I got therapy and worked on it and thankfully, I've stopped now.
#9
Discussed on Reddit before but I would count the number of letters in each word in a sentence when people spoke. Started as fun, ended with me obsessively needing to do it to the point of not taking in the conversation aside from the words to store to count. I would also stack sentences in my brain if I couldn’t count quick enough.
Luckily I was oddly smart and self aware as a teen and saw it was getting out of hand so I made myself stop. As an adult I had to stop reading g a book series as one of the characters did the same and I started to slip back into it.
I have done other compulsive behaviours as well. I am currently going through autism diagnosis process.
#10
Forgetting to eat/not liking eating. I thought it was just quirky. My whole family did it.
My parents forgot to feed us kids a few times when I was 9-11 (we were always at least middle class, they just neglected us because of a side business). When I was 10, my mom put the entire family on an extremely restrictive diet because she definitely has an undiagnosed ED, and kept telling us that anyone who doesn’t eat like us will die.
Turns out, she forced me to have an ED. I got a diagnosis and am recovering now, in my late 20s. She’s still in denial about hers.
#11
Despite knowing the answer to a question or if I'm being asked about something, my immediate response is to remain quiet because of the fear of being made fun of (I had a stutter growing up) and I was usually yelled at for getting anything wrong.
#12
I was a pathological liar :-( got therapy, learned to recognize WHY I lied and how to stop. Sometimes I still feel that urge to lie, but now that I’ve got techniques to stop it and reconcile when I do lie, life is much better.
It’s nice to have friends now. The stress of my lies being found out was a huge burden on every part of my life, it’s really good to be free from it.
#13
Attention seeking and approval needing.
I didn't realize how much I was running off of the validation of other people. when I saw it, I embarked on the famous self-love journey and now I feel so much better about myself.
edit: spelling.
#14
Signing up for every extracurricular - I’m still great at starting things! Sticking with them and seeing them through is another story….
#15
I used to like getting an ice cube to keep in my mouth (I ate it like a hard candy rather than chewing it)
Years later, I found out that ice cravings can be a sign of iron deficiency anemia
(At that point I was already getting more iron in my diet because my doctor found that I had low iron in a blood test while I was getting a cardiac catheter).
#16
Fantasizing and daydreaming. It’s all nice until I dissociate in the middle of driving and almost crash.
#17
Procrastinating on everything and then rushing to get it done at the last minute, stressing myself out everytime and beating myself up for not doing the work when I had more time. Guess what I turned out to have.
#18
Playing “the passout game”. Me and my friends and siblings would press on each other’s carotid arteries to reach unconscious. So dangerous. Also, a pre courser to high-seeking behavior.
#19
Stimming, specifically compulsively rubbing my feet together like a cricket. Turns out I have ADHD & autism lol .
#20
I was very flexible as a kid and would constantly contort myself into strange positions because it was comfortable for me and to show off. Well, it turns out I have Ehlers Danlos, and I was just doing permanent damage to my body that I'm paying for now as an adult.
#21
Dermatillomania. I shredded my cuticles and lips. I think I subconsciously believed things would be better if I could make myself flawless. Unfortunately I'm almost 50 and still do it. It's soothing and stressing at the same time. It's like, everything will be ok once my lips are smooth. Lip balm stops me for a while but makes it worse long-term because it makes my lip skin easier to remove.
#23
Pulling out my eyelashes because I thought I would get wishes. It's called trichotilomania (spelling?) Apparently and now I barely have any eyelashes, eyebrows, or hair on my head.
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