Woman Refuses To Quit Going To Her Ex-BF’s Favorite Korean BBQ Place, Asks If She’s Wrong
When a long-term couple goes through a breakup, they often discover that they need to divide up a number of things. Pets, household appliances, and sometimes friends end up having to pick sides. But is there a rule about restaurants?
So one woman wondered if she was perhaps in the wrong when she continued to visit a Korean BBQ restaurant that had been her ex’s favorite. Things came to a head when he took a new girl there and decided to berate OP for the audacity of still eating at a place he liked so much. Readers shared their mirth at the idea that a person could claim a fully public restaurant.
Dividing things after a breakup can be hard
Image credits: momo (not the actual photo)
But one woman had to deal with an ex who thought she shouldn’t visit his favorite Korean BBQ spot
Image credits: u/JasmineBlossom60
Image credits: Dushan Hanuska (not the actual photo)
“Who gets what?” is an important, but painful question for any ended relationship
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
When couples break up, they inevitably go through the process of divvying up all the things they have acquired while together. While casual relationships might not suffer from this issue, a breakup with a cohabiting partner is similar to a divorce, with one needing to vacate the place they live and potentially negotiating who gets what. After all appliances, cutlery, bedding, and who knows what else that was purchased together now need to be split. Anyone who has been with the same person for a while can no doubt imagine all the things that were purchased “jointly” and now need to be split up. Board games, plants, and even pets, for example.
This issue is further complicated if the breakup was not mutually agreed upon or if one partner hurt the other in some way. It’s pretty easy to imagine the victim of cheating having almost no inclination to help the cheater get some stuff back. On the other hand, sentimental items may lose their value, as who wants to keep something that reminds them of a horrible ex? Or what about friends who may now feel the need to pick sides?
That all being said, the commenters are completely correct that some random guy can’t just claim a restaurant and ban OP from it. This is impractical, entitled, and frankly, ridiculous behavior, as the ex-boyfriend is just some random customer, not the owner, manager, or even employee of the location. Indeed, his behavior is so unhinged that it borders on paranoia, as he calls her out for stalking and can’t believe she enjoys Korean BBQ as much as she does. It’s hard to pick which statement makes less sense.
Breakups can serve as a learning experience
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
His reaction to seeing her is so neurotic that he would probably have exploded regardless of where he encountered her. This is, unfortunately, quite common in breakups, where one party tends to take it pretty hard and often develops a number of psychological issues. Substance abuse is common, as well as negative emotions, from guilt to anger. Interestingly, people start to take too much interest in what their ex is doing, which can manifest as stalking. While it seems that neither party is stalking the other here, it’s pretty clear that the ex-boyfriend still has some hang-ups if he can’t stand to see his ex in public.
His precise statements reveal some degree of delusions (delulu, as some might say) for example, demanding to know why she was there. This would imply that he really thinks she isn’t there for the food, but, perhaps, the off chance of seeing him. As common as this sort of bizarre behavior might be, it’s unfortunately another side effect of not coping well with a breakup.
On the flip side, breakups often have positive effects. In the long run, it’s always better to be single than in a bad relationship, regardless of how it might feel at the time. Particularly among young adults, breakups are a normal learning experience, to better understand themselves, what they want, and the boundaries they want to set for themselves. Some psychologists also point to stress-related growth, where healthy, well-adjusted people treat a failed relationship like a learning experience. Unfortunately for OP, her ex does not seem to be in any of these categories.
OP relied to some readers in the comments
People wholeheartedly sided against the entitled ex
Sounds like the friends are a tad immature. They said she should not go there because it was his first? Please. I will eat where I want. The girl probably doesn't associate the guy with the restaurant anymore. Well maybe now she does again, but she was fine and happy living her life eating Korean BBQ until he shows up again. Girl live your life! Eat wherever, whenever you want!
Yeah whoever gave OP that advice seems stuck in an immature high-school-ish mentality, and is not a friend whose advice should be trusted..,
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She should’ve said “oh you poor thing, that’s the most pathetic thing I’ve ever heard.“ Sounds like he’s got some growing up to do.
Sounds like OP needs new friends. What is the Wild West? “This town ain’t big enough fer the both of us…”
Dang, I just love shopping at Barnes and Noble, but that's my ex's favorite bookstore. What to do? Oh, I know! I'll shop wherever I please!
The idea that this grown a*s man is throwing a tantrum over his ex being at a restaurant that he likes and his also grown a*s friends are saying "but it was his first" is just honestly the most absolute stupid and cringeworthily pathetic thing I have ever come across in my life.
Girl, hush up and eat some bulgogi and quit worrying who you'll see there.
As somebody said here, he doesn't own the restaurant, h's just a guest like her. If HE feels uncomfortable meeting her, maybe he is the one who should stop going there? Why does OP have to bend over backwards to accommodate to his preferences if it doesn't bother her?
If he is that uncomfortable being in that restaurant with you there, he should just stop going to that restaurant. There are others.
It's a restaurant, FFS. NTA. If it was a unique location that was special to him for an actual reason, I could see why she could consider not going there. But this place? Nah. Especially since there aren't many places like it in the area.
My favourite meal was introduced to me by an ex… guess I’m never eating potato and cheese perogies again… 🙄
Is it any of Ex-BF's business where the girl wants to eat? No? Then he should shut his big mouth. I'm pretty sure he embarrassed his date with his ego.
Insecure men mark their territory and this sounds like what he is trying to do. It's childish manure.
thanks Dr Oku for the restoration of my marriage after 2 years of separation with the help of Dr Oku the great spell caster my marriage was restored back, even through the trials and tribulations. My wife has returned home after much time with another Man after the spell of Dr Oku solution came through, at first I was having doubts and crying out to Him. Dr Oku promise and guarantee me that after 28 hour my wife will come back home begging, i thought it was just saying what he can not do until after 7 days casting of the spell my wife came back kneeling and begging for forgiveness I was shocked of the magical power spell of dr oku and I was very happy to see my first love in high school came back to me again Email okuspellcaster@gmail.com Whatsapp: +2349060261758
My suggestion, if he should continue to act like that if he sees her there again, is to speak to the manager about it. Most restaurant managers will ban someone who harasses another diner. It makes for a bad dining experience for the other customers as well as for the staff.
Omg! Why ere you even asking??? What is he like, 5? I called it mine first, so you shouldn’t come ! Omg, it’s so childish and ridiculous
Living in the land of bulgogi, I'm not changing my restaurant habits. Good food is good food! And a year later? Dude has *issues*
This would never fly where I live... let's see maybe I've been to 10-15 local restaurants in my life with exes before I met my husband and there's like 20 restaurants in town.... nope. I'm eating where I please.
Big assumption when there are no details and you don't even know this woman. At least *she's* being adult enough to claim her own portion of breakup issues, and *isn't* so immature as to stake a claim to a public place as if she can control who goes there or not.
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Maybe because she doesn't care if he shows up or not? She doesn't have an issue about him going there, clearly - she'd already planned to ignore him if she saw him. Some of us are grown-ups about things like this.
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Sounds like the friends are a tad immature. They said she should not go there because it was his first? Please. I will eat where I want. The girl probably doesn't associate the guy with the restaurant anymore. Well maybe now she does again, but she was fine and happy living her life eating Korean BBQ until he shows up again. Girl live your life! Eat wherever, whenever you want!
Yeah whoever gave OP that advice seems stuck in an immature high-school-ish mentality, and is not a friend whose advice should be trusted..,
Load More Replies... She should’ve said “oh you poor thing, that’s the most pathetic thing I’ve ever heard.“ Sounds like he’s got some growing up to do.
Sounds like OP needs new friends. What is the Wild West? “This town ain’t big enough fer the both of us…”
Dang, I just love shopping at Barnes and Noble, but that's my ex's favorite bookstore. What to do? Oh, I know! I'll shop wherever I please!
The idea that this grown a*s man is throwing a tantrum over his ex being at a restaurant that he likes and his also grown a*s friends are saying "but it was his first" is just honestly the most absolute stupid and cringeworthily pathetic thing I have ever come across in my life.
Girl, hush up and eat some bulgogi and quit worrying who you'll see there.
As somebody said here, he doesn't own the restaurant, h's just a guest like her. If HE feels uncomfortable meeting her, maybe he is the one who should stop going there? Why does OP have to bend over backwards to accommodate to his preferences if it doesn't bother her?
If he is that uncomfortable being in that restaurant with you there, he should just stop going to that restaurant. There are others.
It's a restaurant, FFS. NTA. If it was a unique location that was special to him for an actual reason, I could see why she could consider not going there. But this place? Nah. Especially since there aren't many places like it in the area.
My favourite meal was introduced to me by an ex… guess I’m never eating potato and cheese perogies again… 🙄
Is it any of Ex-BF's business where the girl wants to eat? No? Then he should shut his big mouth. I'm pretty sure he embarrassed his date with his ego.
Insecure men mark their territory and this sounds like what he is trying to do. It's childish manure.
thanks Dr Oku for the restoration of my marriage after 2 years of separation with the help of Dr Oku the great spell caster my marriage was restored back, even through the trials and tribulations. My wife has returned home after much time with another Man after the spell of Dr Oku solution came through, at first I was having doubts and crying out to Him. Dr Oku promise and guarantee me that after 28 hour my wife will come back home begging, i thought it was just saying what he can not do until after 7 days casting of the spell my wife came back kneeling and begging for forgiveness I was shocked of the magical power spell of dr oku and I was very happy to see my first love in high school came back to me again Email okuspellcaster@gmail.com Whatsapp: +2349060261758
My suggestion, if he should continue to act like that if he sees her there again, is to speak to the manager about it. Most restaurant managers will ban someone who harasses another diner. It makes for a bad dining experience for the other customers as well as for the staff.
Omg! Why ere you even asking??? What is he like, 5? I called it mine first, so you shouldn’t come ! Omg, it’s so childish and ridiculous
Living in the land of bulgogi, I'm not changing my restaurant habits. Good food is good food! And a year later? Dude has *issues*
This would never fly where I live... let's see maybe I've been to 10-15 local restaurants in my life with exes before I met my husband and there's like 20 restaurants in town.... nope. I'm eating where I please.
Big assumption when there are no details and you don't even know this woman. At least *she's* being adult enough to claim her own portion of breakup issues, and *isn't* so immature as to stake a claim to a public place as if she can control who goes there or not.
Load More Replies... Maybe because she doesn't care if he shows up or not? She doesn't have an issue about him going there, clearly - she'd already planned to ignore him if she saw him. Some of us are grown-ups about things like this.
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