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Chances are that back in school, you either knew someone who was very gifted or you actually were that kid (hey, how are you). However, just because academia was easy for you at the start doesn’t mean that the rest of your life was sunshine and daisies.

Formerly gifted kids opened up in an online thread about what adulthood was like for them. They revealed their biggest struggles, including social pressure, burnout, and impostor syndrome. Scroll down for their stories! The odds are that you might find something relatable.

#1

Student in classroom thoughtfully listening, representing gifted kids with potential to do great things in education. I wouldn't say I burned out, but when I got to college, I got a painful lesson about the difference between being "smart" and being "a quick learner.".

L0cked4fun:
I had to learn to study in college, took failing a course horribly to admit to myself that I had to buckle down.

hymie0 , YuriArcursPeopleimages/Envato (not the actual photo) Report

Colleen Glim
Community Member
14 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was also a “gifted kid”. Depression has been kicking my a*s since highschool. I finally learned to accept myself for who I am. It took a lot of years but I think I’m finally happy for the first time ever

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    #2

    Middle-aged man smiling and raising arms, reflecting on gifted kids who had potential to do great things shared. I won 3 math comps and 2 science fairs growing up. Graduated college early.  Went from living in a trailer almost on the street in high school to life in a 4,000 sqft home with a new luxury suv.  Wife stays at home.  I work from home.  Have a couple kids.

    Short of the fear of job loss in the short term the life is pretty good.  .

    Moron-Whisperer , westend61/Envato (not the actual photo) Report

    Nea
    Community Member
    10 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One can sense ‘satisfaction’ in these words, good for OP!!

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    #3

    Man in a yellow shirt resting on a couch, appearing relaxed and contemplative about gifted kids and their potential. Turns out I'm autistic, they just didn't have the language so they said "gifted".

    I guess the main difference between now and then, is back then I had to sleep only 2 hours a night (and then in class) to have enough time to code as much as I wanted, while now I can code all day **and** sleep at night (saying this at 6am, 5 hours lafe to sleep ... hrm...)

    25 years married to another (even more) gifted and amazing lady.

    Adult life is neat.

    arthurwolf , ckstockphoto/Envato (not the actual photo) Report

    Corvus
    Community Member
    9 hours ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ah yes, autism wasn't known of in my country (in Southeast Europe) in the 90's, so such kids were just designated as "unruly" or "problematic."

    Just because you’re a gifted kid doesn’t mean that everything is easy for you. There are lots of downsides that come with having a brilliant mind and doing well in academia early on.

    According to Vox, broadly speaking, among children, giftedness means having an IQ above 120. That being said, giftedness is “a measure of potential more than anything else.”

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    The issue is that for both kids and adults, their giftedness is consistently accompanied by personality quirks such as being very emotional and sensitive.

    “They tend to have a strong sense of justice and as such can be prone to black-and-white thinking. Frequently, they go through spells of behaving like mini-adults only to crash back into childishness,” Vox states.

    #4

    Young gifted man looking thoughtfully at laptop in an office, reflecting on potential to do great things. I made it through college and grad school with honors but I’m so burnt out by adult life and the “real world”. I miss how easy academia was for me.

    nosyNurse:
    Me too! I would go to school forever if I had money to do that and keep my bills paid

    Even_Current_47 , drazenphoto/Envato (not the actual photo) Report

    #5

    Young man holding tablet, representing gifted kids with potential to do great things in a modern setting. Burned out, got diagnosed as an adult with ADHD.

    Purple_Chipmunk:
    Same!! It's especially rough to be gifted with ADHD because you can hide the ADHD so well on daily learning for exams, for example.
    But then when it comes to larger projects (or anything that's not a worksheet or exam) you fall apart and then every report card says "not working up to potential" and you think, but I'm so smart and the work is easy, why can't I just do it? I must be lazy😔
    ✨ T H E R A P Y ✨


    res06myi:
    Yup. For me it was masking dyslexia, which was figured out when I was a teen, long after anything could be done about it, and autism and ADHD, which I didn’t know until my 30s. But I did well on tests so nothing to see here.

    Bunt_Custer , drazenphoto/Envato (not the actual photo) Report

    Nea
    Community Member
    10 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like my close friend and colleague; I get is struggles but those who dont know abt his adhd get confused about him.

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    #6

    Young gifted man in casual wear wiping forehead, reflecting on potential and achievements outdoors on a bright day. I'm at that uncomfortable level where I was told I'm gifted — genius even. But I've always been keenly aware of just how much of an effing idiot I really am. And I'm also keenly aware that I'm still somehow much more intelligent than the average people I deal with every single day. It's more of a curse than a gift

    SpiderCop_NYPD_ARKND , y SkloStudio/Envato (not the actual photo) Report

    R Dennis
    Community Member
    6 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I call it my superiority/inferiority complex.

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    Verywell Mind explains that gifted kids can experience a lot of pressure to excel, which can lead to burnout, which then leads to exhaustion, frustration, and a lack of motivation. Gifted individuals also tend to be perfectionistic and have very sensitive temperaments, which also contribute to burnout.

    Burned-out gifted kids can also see a decline in their performance, become irritable, or experience social withdrawal. They can also develop mental health issues such as anxiety, OCD, or eating disorders.

    Gifted individuals who experience burnout can also find themselves stuck in obsessive thought patterns and distress over low grades or incorrect answers. And they can have a ton of difficulty making seemingly simple life choices, such as what to eat or what to wear.

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    #7

    I've never known anyone who was dubbed "gifted" who didn't also have crippling mental or emotional problems. Seems to come with the territory. Maybe it's nature's way of leveling the playing field.

    weird-oh Report

    Corvus
    Community Member
    8 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, I always was (and in many ways still am) the "weird one" among my classmates/friends.

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    #8

    Man wearing glasses and a plaid shirt looking stressed while working on a laptop, representing gifted kids potential not realized. Hit a wall and burned out.

    I think that being a gifted kid is like joining an mmorpg for the first time with a level-boosted character. Sure, we go through the first few levels of life effortlessly, but we never learned how to properly play the game. And by the time we reach level-appropriate content, it's way too late.

    Also the severe undiagnosed(until my 30s!) ADHD.

    abby-normal-brain , Pressmaster/Envato (not the actual photo) Report

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    #9

    Young gifted man in an orange jacket focused and determined, representing gifted kids with potential to do great things. Went to prison for 11 years

    Wasted the gift until I was 28

    Had an epiphany - I could actually do anything that anybody else can

    Earned BA with a 4.0, learned 5 programming languages and Spanish, bunch of other stuff.

    Got out, learning none of that matters to employers if you're a felon, you're doomed to work side-by-side with everybody else at the slaughterhouse.

    Going to put that energy into my own business.

    MeechDaStudent , FabrikaPhoto/Envato (not the actual photo) Report

    Sue User
    Community Member
    7 hours ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Unless you are rich. Then apparently all your transgression don't matter. Pasted from AI ( wait for it ) . (d***s) and Mark Wahlberg (a*****t), business figures like Martha Stewart (insider trading), musicians like Snoop Dogg, Lil Wayne, R. Kelly, and Mike Tyson, and even historical figures like Tim Allen (d**g trafficking) and James Brown (a*****t). Historical figures?

    According to Verywell Mind, recovering from gifted-kid burnout requires lots of steps. For instance, parents can teach their children to adopt a growth mindset and to learn to embrace their failures as opportunities for learning. What’s more, parents ought to encourage their kids to take study breaks, emphasize that they don’t need to be ‘perfect,’ avoid comparing their school performance to others, and not connect academic achievements with being loved or accepted.

    Were you a gifted kid in school, or did you know someone who was? Have you ever experienced burnout? Share your stories below, in the comments.

    #10

    Close-up of a stressed man with glasses reflecting on potential, relating to gifted kids and their life achievements. Burned out.

    IAMA_Shark__AMA:
    This one. I was actually very successful early on. I was considered a bit of a prodigy in that field.
    I basically rage quit to live an island bum life. Somewhere in those years I found my real calling. Doesn't pay even a fifth as well, but I can look at myself in the mirror each day, so I'm doing better now than I was then

    Plastic-Bar-4142:
    I earned a PhD and became a professor. There have been ups and downs, but overall I do benefit from the fact that processing information and thinking abstractly comes easily to me.
    Anxiety, migraines, and a need for excessive amounts of sleep have slowed me down, but I wouldn't trade those things if I had to lose my giftedness along with them. That's just who I am.

    Poetgrimaldi , Image-Source/Envato (not the actual photo) Report

    Colleen Glim
    Community Member
    14 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I look at people who say they only need 5hours sleep a night and wonder how they even function. I need nine hours in the summer. And don’t even talk to me about winter. I could happily sleep from November 1st to March 1st

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    #11

    Thoughtful woman sitting indoors surrounded by plants, reflecting on gifted kids who had potential to do great things. I wouldn't say I burned out, I just stopped applying myself.

    I graduated college with a bachelor's in history. The plan was to get my master's or maybe go to law school. Instead, for the first time I could remember, I didn't have to get good grades. I didn't have to study anything I wasn't interested in. I...got...*lazy*.

    Never went back to school. Got married, bought a house, had a baby. I've worked a long string of different jobs. Museum, tuxedo rentals, bank teller, now medical payment rep. The museum was a dream job, but it paid nothing and had no benefits so I quit after 9 months.

    I'm 99% sure I have ADHD. Maybe even AUDHD. Adhd runs in the family, but back in the 80s/90s girls weren't diagnosed with it. I haven't bothered to get diagnosed as an adult. I don't see the point. My life is fine, I see no need to add medication into it.

    Tldr; didn't burnout, just quit. Lmao.

    Intrepid_Advice4411 , varyapigu/Envato (not the actual photo) Report

    Colleen Glim
    Community Member
    14 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I beg to differ. Two of my girls were diagnosed with ADHD in the 90s. You just needed a different doctor. My brother was diagnosed with ADHD in the late 70s. Some doctors are better than others

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    #12

    Young gifted man focused on reading a book at desk, surrounded by study materials and a laptop in a home office. I was put in the gifted program in elementary school and then kicked out for being “too immature”. In High School I was on the Academic Decathlon team and won a medal at the State level. My GPA’s for the 4 years were 1.5, 1.6, 1.7 and 3.5 (I didn’t bother to hand in most homework until I realized I wanted to go to college and had utterly atrocious study habits). Started to join the military, ended up going abroad with an exchange program for a year instead and then returned for college. Grades were mediocre as I spent all available time partying wildly. Finally took a year off to work, started to get my s**t together and then restarted at a new school where I ended up graduating Magna Cum Laude. I became a photojournalist and spent a decade doing that. Became a freelancer (found I sucked at the business aspects of that and I was not successful. Also had some significant PTSD at this point in the journey). Then I taught myself how to build websites and started doing that at about 36-37. Now I am a fairly high level developer at a Fortune 100 company and doing well. I also taught myself Chinese. So overall… I’d say I behaved as a “gifted” kid might be expected to behave in the end. Don’t think the label helped me at all, though. Probably made me lazier if anything. One last thing, I was raised by a pedophile so that had a pretty profoundly debilitating impact on my overall growth and emotional maturity. Still working on that baggage.

    gaoshan , dekddui1405/Envato (not the actual photo) Report

    Corvus
    Community Member
    8 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The label definitely doesn't help. It builds unrealistic expectation in others and (what is worse) exaggerated self-confidence in yourself.

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    #13

    Tired gifted kid with potential resting head on arms at desk with laptop, showing frustration or exhaustion. Excel in what I do for about 3 years then I burnout and move on to something else. I’ve had several fun career paths.

    Great at learning, troubleshooting, problem solving, creative solutions, processing, and thinking outside the box.

    No patience, low emotional intelligence, poor social skills, and I’ve got no common sense.

    anon , Blue-Titan/Envato (not the actual photo) Report

    Sue User
    Community Member
    7 hours ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't burnout, I just get bored. Once I thoroughly know how to do something, it becomes boring. Done many different jobs in my life.

    #14

    Young gifted person with potential working on laptop, deeply focused and reflecting on future possibilities indoors. I was always told I was 'talented' & 'gifted' when I was young. Once youtube was invented, I saw how mediocre I was. Comparison is the thief of joy :(.

    jeffro3339 , YuriArcursPeopleimages/Envato (not the actual photo) Report

    #15

    Young gifted woman with potential looking at herself in the mirror, reflecting on life and achievements. I found out I was neurodivergent.

    smarmiebastard:
    I have ADHD, but I still graduated university with honors. I’d generally write papers the night before they were due and still got As. Now I’m massively burnt out as an adult and feel like I’m barely functioning

    Future_Blueberry_641 , yavdat/Envato (not the actual photo) Report

    Intangible Panda
    Community Member
    11 hours ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same here... I'm quite sure I have ADHD but undiagnosed. I used to write papers and whatever assignments the night before (or hours before) they were due, graduated with distinction, straight As. As an adult I find it hard to keep my focus on my job, been changing careers every few years... not because I'm bad at what I'm doing at any given time, but because of burn out and various mental health problems. Edit: BP censored an innocent word... smh

    #16

    Teen girl with red hair looking thoughtful and pensive, representing gifted kids reflecting on their potential. Tested into GATE when I was 5 and burned out by the time I was 15 lol.

    eastbae-510 , africaimages/Envato (not the actual photo) Report

    Mari
    Community Member
    12 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think this is really sad

    #17

    Dentist wearing a blue mask and gloves holding dental tools in a clinic, symbolizing gifted kids with potential in careers. I’m a dentist. I made a million dollars last year.

    1ThousandDollarBill , grafvision/Envato (not the actual photo) Report

    Bewitched One
    Community Member
    Premium
    10 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That’s ridiculous honestly. SMH this has to be an America dentist lol

    #18

    Man wearing glasses and a blue shirt looking thoughtful, representing gifted kids with potential reflecting on success. So far, so good, but I feel like an imposter. All through high school and college, I put in just enough effort to make an A. So I never really lived up to my potential, but I think that is the only thing that kept me sane. The worst thing that ever came from it all was feeling like I was somehow responsible for solving everyone's problems. But I do have days I've seriously thought about changing my identity and starting over far away from where I am so I could lose some of that pressure and responsibility.

    littleorangemonkeys:
    Same. I was "gifted" because I was an early and prolific reader, but oh, oops, that's also Hallmark for ADHD.  
    I recently changed jobs in my field specifically to reduce the amount of responsibility I had. My anxiety is so much better. I am still figuring out the right balance between not enough responsibility ( and getting bored) and too much (and getting anxious). I might find balance by the time I retire. 

    REDDITprime1212 , PerfectAngleImages/Envato (not the actual photo) Report

    Colleen Glim
    Community Member
    14 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have found that balancing the amount of work responsibility is important to my mental health. I’ve tried being the boss. I don’t like it. It stresses me out too much. I like being in this case fourth banana. If sh*t goes sideways I can help pick up the pieces but it’s not my problem. And that’s where I’m happy

    #19

    Man in a red polo shirt sitting on a couch with a stressed expression, reflecting on gifted kids and potential. I eventually reached a point where, "Studying is something that happens to other people." wasn't enough. I took a break. Worked a bit. Went back to university in a different field, and found that once again everything was *easy*. Finished a four year degree in two years. Eventually found work I enjoyed. Had a heck of a fun time as the go-to troubleshooter for the company for most of a decade. Then my brain self-destructed and blew a hole in itself. Now I have to relearn how to walk every morning. But I'm good at it.

    spammmmmmmmy:

    Did you have a stroke?

    ChemistryPerfect4534:

    Yes. A lacunar one, so there is literally a hole in my brain.

    ChemistryPerfect4534 , MKU018/Envato (not the actual photo) Report

    Bewitched One
    Community Member
    Premium
    11 hours ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    More info in my hidden comments below about the type of stroke. Stupid BP

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    #20

    Young gifted woman wearing a yellow headscarf, smiling and looking up, reflecting potential and future success. I graduated 4th in my class after never trying a day in my life. I got into a very good college and then was humbled by how smart everyone there was. In college I had to learn how to study, how to schedule, how to actually apply myself. It was the first time in my life I couldn’t just coast. I graduated and got a pretty good job, and once I was back in the real world I realized I was still smart, college was just hard. I found that my chosen career path was difficult but not lucrative and made a couple of moves to adjacent fields that made more money. Now 10 years later I make a good salary and am at a leadership position that I find fulfilling, not too easy and challenging at times, but not too high where I feel a ton of pressure. Within the last 5 years I got married and had my first kid. Life is pretty good at the moment.

    anon , wayhomestudioo/Envato (not the actual photo) Report

    #21

    Frustrated man in kitchen sitting at table with laptop and coffee, symbolizing gifted kids not living up to potential. I'm 51, and I've never held down a full time job for more than a couple months. My wife has a good job, though.

    IanDOsmond , simonapilolla/Envato (not the actual photo) Report

    #22

    Teacher with curly hair engaging gifted kids in a classroom discussion about potential and achievements. I’m a gifted teacher and was also a gifted student. Depression, anxiety, imposter syndrome, perfectionism, and burnout are all super common among gifted students.

    In many states (including mine), “social emotional” goals are now included in their educational plans right alongside academic goals. It’s one of the compelling arguments for identifying gifted kids and giving them special services.

    Oh, and there’s a lot of crossover between ADHD, ASD, and giftedness - giftedness is actually neurodivergence all on its own and it often comes with traits of one or both of those other types of neurodivergence, if not coexisting with the full-blown “disorder.”.

    sarahsuebob , zamrznutitonovi/Envato (not the actual photo) Report

    #23

    Young woman in a business suit with blonde hair, appearing thoughtful while reflecting on gifted kids and potential success. I'm so burnt out, and I just resigned from my executive job. I'm planning on moving home to take care of my grandparents.


    I'm 33.

    RailroadRae , YuriArcursPeopleimages/Envato (not the actual photo) Report

    #24

    Young gifted man with headphones looks thoughtful and stressed while sitting indoors with blurred plant in foreground I was bullied by a teacher who insisted I should be on Ritalin. A couple of years later I was labeled as "gifted", made the honor roll and the president's list etc. My parents didn't care.

    My dad beat my college goals out of me when I was in high school and I didn't go. I just started working a deadend job just like he wanted.

    When I did actually start to make some progress without his influence, he attributed my achievements to himself. He can't even remember what unit I work on or what I do.

    I feel like I'm at least a decade behind where I should be in life.

    Mettastorm:
    That feeling of being behind can remain as a sore wound. I sometimes get a pang of it myself when I see others my age buy a house or have a child. I try to remind myself that comparison is the thief of joy. If I look carefully, I can find at least some joy of my own.

    TrendySpork , DC_Studio/Envato (not the actual photo) Report

    Colleen Glim
    Community Member
    14 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My youngest daughter’s third grade teacher insisted she should be on Ritalin. I already had two children on Ritalin. I knew the signs and symptoms. My youngest did not have ADHD. She just didn’t like her teacher.

    #25

    Middle-aged man focused on computer work in a modern office with colleagues, showcasing gifted kids potential theme. Being “gifted” for me meant that a lot of short term successes came easy. Excelling was easy. Because of that learning to work hard has been a real chore. You can’t coast on giftedness. Hard, sustained, methodical work is the way to really succeed. People who have that nailed down, whether they’re intelligent or not, are better off.

    aconsciousagent , Pressmaster/Envato (not the actual photo) Report

    Colleen Glim
    Community Member
    14 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That’s the problem. “Hard, sustained, methodical work” is something I can only do for so long before I start to “disassociate” because of the lack of mental stimulation

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    #26

    Woman sitting on couch in kitchen, holding head with hands, expressing frustration or stress about gifted kids potential. I have been burned out for years, but my brain has refused to. I don't stop thinking. Ever. If I'm awake, my brain goes 1000000000 mph. There's equations, and people, and social and political issues, friends' issues, the freaking universe, creation, religion, faith, stars, galaxies, aliens, greenhouses, growing food, etc...

    I don't want to think anymore and I don't know how to stop.

    Space_Case_Stace , voronaman111/Envato (not the actual photo) Report

    #27

    I was in gifted programs all through school, but then I hit some higher-level classes in college, like organic chemistry and physics/calc (I was premed, then switched to CS). Those classes actually required me to study and learn. I realized I was completely unprepared to put in the work to master something when it didn’t just come naturally. It took some effort and a readjustment of my expectations, but I still managed a 3.9 GPA when I finished my undergrad. I enjoy my work, and I pick up new techs fairly easily.

    Honestly, I regret all the gifted programs and labels. I feel like they gave me a false sense of entitlement toward success that stunted my work ethic, which I had to develop later than my peers. If the gifted programs had challenged me more and taught me how to learn and put time into studying, they would have been more valuable. As it stands, they were just a participation trophy for some privilege I was born with.

    Saereth Report

    Colleen Glim
    Community Member
    14 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Organic chemistry kicked my a*s twice. The chapter on alkenes was 130 pages long. On alkenes. That was around the point that I decided I couldn’t do it anymore

    #28

    My "gift" wasn't exactly a blessing in school. Turns out that creative "out if the box" thinking wasn't exactly encouraged in the 80s. My career also was not what I wanted it to be for a long, long time.

    My advice for people who feel the same: It gets better! Find a creative outlet, focus your energy there. It will give you the calm and strength to endure the rat race. But as much fun as it is, don't make it your profession - this is the way to burn out. As soon as you do something because you HAVE to do it and not because you WANT to do it, it will stop being fun. Your art will suffer, you will doubt yourself, depression shortly follows.

    For me, it's writing stories either for Larp or other RPGs and leathercraft. But whatever works for you is fine!

    All the best to the creative minds out there who can't stand the chains of a restrictive system!

    Tiefschlag Report

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    #29

    One problem many of us had was a lack of understanding of the smart kid's needs, among them discipline. When you pick up everything quickly you don't learn how to study effectively, for instance, so college was actually a bust because we didn't know what to do. Sounds bizarre but a common story.

    Purple_Joke_1118 Report

    Colleen Glim
    Community Member
    14 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hear that. School was easy. So jumping in the deep end with uni only fed into my depression

    #30

    TL/DR: I never learned to study. I coasted from grade school through high school then barely graduated college. 


    They wanted me (and 2 others) to skip 2nd grade. My parents decided I was too young (started kindergarten at 4 and college at 17).


    During 6th grade I and the other girl who didn't skip a grade were segregated from the class to read Tolkein, I think.


    In HS, I was pressured to take AP classes but didn't. One of my English teacher made me read extra novels because the class was too easy. I had already read most of the books.


    I hit college placed in a special program for high GPA/ SAT scorers in freshman year and crashed hard. Barely scraped through. Without the AP classes, I was behind whereas through school up until then, I was always ahead.


    I just loved to read everything and it made me seem smarter but well-read isn't the same. I'm not stupid, but not gifted. They all thought I'd go places.


    I'm disabled due to a chronic illness which occurred in adulthood and haven't been able to work in decades. So, no harm, no foul. I can, however, answer a fair number of questions on Jeopardy.

    CatalinaBigPaws Report

    #31

    Short answer: yes, and yes.


    I was tagged around 99th percentile in all of my standardized tests from K-12. I was *the* gifted kid in school.


    In college I struggled with consistency a lot. If I enjoyed a subject, I would easily get an A in the class, breaking the curve for my classmates. If I'm interested, literally nobody is getting better grades than me. If I found a subject dull or I didn't like my professor's attitude, I would scrape by with a D or just drop and get an incomplete. I was definitely emotionally immature, and it didn't help that I was one of the youngest in my class and my parents went through a real nasty divorce during those years... but hey, everyone has issues and those were mine.


    Sometimes I just took time off to learn how to be a person, make friends, party, talk to girls, and stop being the social pariah nerd with straight As that nobody wants to be around (think: Sheldon Cooper). I couldn't keep it up. I was sleeping 5-10 hours a week. I lost my mind for a while. I dropped out of school senior year, committed a DUI, lost all my friends, and briefly considered ending it all. I burned out, and made all the wrong choices. I was 22 and my life was over. I was Depressed with a capital D for 2 solid years. I was supposed to be the next big great hope, but I was just some shoulda been.


    I went to work. Work was good. I'm good at work. I solve problems easily and efficiently, and I'm not so bad to be around as long as I learn to listen more than I speak. I quickly rose to a supervisory role and proved my abilities in the technical world. I eventually dropped back in to a new school while working. I picked up a second job writing software and met my now wife while there.


    Now, at twice the age from when I first burned out, I'm happy. I have balance. I'm still good at my job, but my job doesn't own me. I have good relationships, good friends, and good family. I earn a very solid living based mostly on my ability to look at problem A and provide solution Z. The rest is maintaining people skills, which used to be my hardest challenge.


    It's going to sound cheezy, but I used to think success would be earning a doctorate and getting my name in the papers for discovering something. Today, I define success as going fishing with my grandfather or taking a long walk with my wife. I do just enough knowledge work to get the job done. Then I go home, and reserve some time for my soul to recharge and be happy. I don't want to be Sheldon Cooper.

    anon Report

    #32

    Just finished my second Masters and am chasing that PhD while also trying to prioritize my family. Feel pulled in a million different directions and "down time" feels wrong. I've been in enough therapy to know I'm seeking validation but not enough to know who I want that from.

    Scucer Report

    Colleen Glim
    Community Member
    14 hours ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    You need validation from yourself. Learn to allow yourself that downtime. It doesn’t mean you’re slacking. It just means you’re taking time to process before you move on to the next bit

    #33

    I'm at that uncomfortable level where I was told I'm gifted, genius even, but I've always been keenly aware of just how much of a *f*****g idiot* I really am, and *also* keenly aware of, despite that, still somehow being much more intelligent than the average people I deal with every single day.

    It's a curse much more than a "gift.".

    anon Report

    Colleen Glim
    Community Member
    13 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know I’m smarter than the average bear. But the stupid in life just makes me want to scream and feeds into my depression. I’ve stopped watching the news and limited my social media because I just cant

    #34

    Young woman with gifted potential posing outdoors, symbolizing gifted kids who had potential to do great things. I was tired of life by junior high, but it turns out I'm bipolar.

    AThingUnderUrBed , BGStock72/Envato (not the actual photo) Report

    #35

    A young man sitting on outdoor steps, looking thoughtful and reflective about gifted kids and potential achievements. I burned out in high school. My senior year was almost all art and cooking and the like. I picked elementary education as a major because I couldn't stand the idea of the workload of the engineering classes I should have been taking. It took 4 years of easy classes and close friends and finally finding a woman who would hold me before I healed enough mentally to start taking more difficult classes. I changed majors, but finally graduated after my 6th year with whatever degree I could get with the classes I took.

    I'm not a rich engineer, but I make 6 figures doing graphics and layout for medical textbooks for the military.

    gandolffood , voronaman111/Envato (not the actual photo) Report

    #36

    Young gifted man working on a laptop in an auditorium, reflecting potential for great achievements in his career. Ended up failing a handful of classes in high school because i hated the system. barely got my diploma. dropped out of college after about 2 years of trying. then just worked at Target for a while as a security guard. but was definitely active in all of my creative endeavors.

    i started landing better jobs. fast forward a bit and i went back to college and got straight A's, plus made the Dean's list several times. Graduated with honors. got my bachelors degree in IT. i got married. then my job prospects got even better. wife helped me pay off my student debt and her parents let us rent our first start house from them for cheap (3 years total). we saved up enough to buy 2 houses. now we rent out 1 of them to tenants. im currently making $130K/year.

    basically a mixture of luck and hard work.

    AgentArnold , drazenphoto/Envato (not the actual photo) Report

    #37

    Everyone always said things like "I'll be working for you one day!" I guess I was just good at solving problems, but have zero vision, because I don't have a clue how to earn money beyond applying for a job and hoping someone else pays me. I guess "getting rich" was never a problem for me to solve, so I never tried to figure it out. I've always made average money though, and I don't waste it and have been decent at saving, so I've never really struggled.

    tjeepdrv2 Report

    Sue User
    Community Member
    7 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I make more than average but apparently I make far below what someone with my knowledge should be making. I hear of coders making $150,000 a year or more. I know, at last count about 20 programming languages and been at it since before the WWW but just can't figure out how to make the big bucks.

    #38

    I think the biggest piece I learned was that intelligence and wisdom do not go hand in hand. Best friend growing up was in same programs as me. We both screwed around in high school. He ended up dropping out as money became a greater focus than education. Was doing quite well initially making me jealous as he was earning money while I was struggling financially and bumbling through school.

    I got myself together coasting through college and worked my way up to where I’m doing well financially and happy with my success. My friend stagnated and never advanced very far in life before he OD’d and passed away about 10 years ago.

    There are multiple iterations of this among the people in our classes. Ultimately it’s a singular journey in life and are on our own paths to success, failure or just getting by.

    Epicassion Report

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    #39

    I’ve done well. Had a brief period where I was horrendously bullied in 5th and 6th grade for “being smart” and “gay”. Didn’t want to go to school, ended up telling my parents I wish I didn’t exist and they sent me to a psychiatrist. It ended when I broke my bullies nose, interestingly he then started getting bullied and eventually left the school.

    I worked really hard in middle and highschool. Was the top 10 in my region for my sport. Eventually burned out from athletics but continued to get good grades. Got a scholarship to a prestigious school. Decided I wouldn’t strive for straight As but would be happy with B average. Chased girls and social life a little. Floundered for a year in college while I played video games and did nothing.

    Was told my GPA was a little low for graduate school. Studied really hard, did a bunch of research, scored very well on the standardized test for graduate school and got in.

    Kinda relaxed once I got in, still studied but kinda coasted. Got interested in my profession during training and became an expert. Have now travelled internationally to teach and make a good living.

    I’m glad I took the time to develop my social skills (it didn’t come naturally for me). Focusing on that enabled me to have a fantastic family. It is by far the best decision I made.

    l1vefrom215 Report

    Corvus
    Community Member
    8 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nice job with that bully :)

    #40

    I was mislabeled because i tested well.  Recognizing patterns and being able to read for which details are likely to be on the test are not intelligence. Adaptability and ability to absorb information are.


    I could read at 5th grade level in first grade.  I could read at 6th grade level in fourth grade
     My peers passed me because i never learned how to study. It came easy in the lower grades and when it became difficult, i was left with no strategy to cope.

    LeaderEnvironmental5 Report

    #41

    Straight A+ report card until right before graduation when they gave me a B+ in gym and cost me valedictorian. I imploded. Collapsed. Total breakdown. Crackedd like an egg. Blew up my life and lost my college scholarship. Then real life taught me that I wasn’t as smart as I thought I was. Turned out to have a good life but only after a couple decades of struggle—I never became the rich and famous person I was *expected* to be.

    levieleven Report

    Colleen Glim
    Community Member
    14 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And that’s okay. As long as you’re happy

    #42

    I suppose i did follow it all the way through. Tons of AP, special summer programs, and tests. I was geared up to be a chemistry PhD but switched gears to go to medical school to impress a girl. I'm burned out with practice

    Farts_McGee Report

    #43

    Yeah, senior dev in AI at a Fang, married to a Doctor. Nerds win.

    shawnington Report

    #44

    Not burnt out, no. Got two college diplomas with honours in both. Wasn’t making enough money. Got into construction instead. Much happier 🙂.

    wdowmkr Report

    #45

    Instead of people around me helping me, when they saw I was intelligent they did their best to show me how I am not as great as they thought I thought I was. So although I did not burn out, I lost a lot of faith in those around me that I thought would want to help see me succeed.

    Little-Carpenter4443 Report

    #46

    Older man with glasses, smiling and celebrating success while working on laptop, illustrating gifted kids' potential. I got kicked out of the GATE program in elementary for trying to make thunder sounds with paper while listening to a story about lightning, dropped out of high school senior year with a 1.67 gpa. Surfed/snowboarded and worked retail for almost a decade.

    Went back to community college, transferred to UC Berkeley and graduated. Worked in Silicon Valley for over another decade and never grew to find tech remotely interesting.

    I’ve now escaped the US and live in Japan still working tech for a fraction of what I once made but I’m happier. Go figure.

    Silenthillnight , insta_photos/Envato (not the actual photo) Report

    Colleen Glim
    Community Member
    14 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your problem was trying to make thunder sounds with paper. Everybody knows you need sheet metal for the job/s

    #47

    Young gifted man in a white coat holding books, smiling confidently in a modern, bright indoor setting. Reddit loves a narrative where gifted kids aren’t doing well as adults. I got a PhD, met tons of interesting people through school and work, and have a well-paying technical career I find fulfilling. Life is good.

    lifefindsaway14 , mstandret/Envato (not the actual photo) Report

    #48

    Burnt out after honours and made some bad decisions. Met someone who helped me turn things around and am happy to have had the burnt out experience, I've come out strong, more confident and completed my masters. I'm now excelling because I learnt from hitting rock bottom.

    Thebuttking Report

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    #49

    Labelled as academically gifted in primary school (UK) after learning to read and write fluently at 5. Put into top set everything. Got into a very competitive academically selective secondary school.

    Followed me through to secondary school. Top set everything aside maths as some of the kids there were insane with numbers. Slammed through GCSEs and ended up with 15 of them, all passes, 11 of the 15 A or A*.

    Didn't do so well with A Levels but still passed them all and got into the university I wanted. Slammed through a degree, first class honours, never got below a first on any paper or class.

    I now work in the public sector doing project management work. I'm later to it as I did customer service first, but I love it and there's excellent opportunity for growth where I work. My aim is to hit a senior role by the time I'm 40 (am late 20s now). I would say I've carried it through to adult life.

    However.

    I had some pretty bad anxiety as a child and teenager. I was always described as mature for my age but this was down to worrying about adult stuff and the state of the world (my parents were excellent and didn't put this stuff on me or anything, I just... saw it, I guess? More so than other kids). I have always struggled with building deep connections with others, yet am seen as social and friendly because I can turn it on when needed and get on well with everyone at surface level. I'm good with details so I remember birthdays, etc. I cope well with stress at work because I believe I can do it, but stress at home I really struggle with. With all this in mind, I've been wondering if I'm on the spectrum. It would explain an awful lot.

    IOwnAOnesie Report

    #50

    Labeled as 'gifted', all A's, finished associates by time I finished high school, grew up too fast, mature for my age, too smart for my own good, etc.

    HUGE burnout. Got a bipolar, adhd, panic disorder and anxiety diagnoses.
    Everything exhausts me and I think the only thing that kept me going back then was my dad's severe pressure for me to be perfect.

    savanalynn00 Report

    #51

    I was an honors student throughout my high school and higher education years. Beyond that, it hasn’t really carried over. I currently work an average, non-prestigious job. Being gifted stopped being a part of my identity once I left behind academia for the real world. I’ve suffered many a burnout over the past decade and a half. Mental illness seems to be particularly common in former gifted kids. Or maybe we’re just the ones who are the most vocal about it. .

    anon Report

    #52

    I wouldn’t say I burned out, I just stopped caring.

    Freshman year of high school, i thought the classes were so dumb. Getting good grades was more about showing up and doing busy work than it was about actually knowing the material, so I pretty much stopped doing both. For example, in math my test and quiz score average was over 100%, but because of not turning in homework and not showing my work enough I had to beg for a D instead of an F. How was I supposed to take any of that seriously?

    After a 3.85 in middle school, I graduated high school with a 2.01 gpa. I spent the next 8 years attending 6 or 7 different colleges and finally earning a BA in history with like a 2.75 I think. Kinda the same story, my gpa would have been a lot higher if not for all the Fs on my transcript from classes that dropped me for poor attendance.

    The last thing I wanted to do was more school, and you can’t do much else with a history degree, so I joined the Air Force. I tested into one of the hardest jobs to get, graduated basic training and two different technical schools all with honors. Got to my first duty station and basically did busy work until my contract ran out.

    I’ve dabbled in several “careers” in the ten years since, I even went back and got two masters degrees. Now I’m a stay at home dad and I don’t really want to do anything else.

    stoneman9284 Report

    #53

    I burned out in late high school and college and ended up doing the minimum to get done with school. I un-burned-out in my late 20s after getting divorced from the guy I married right out of school and am “smart” again, lol.

    Playful_Fan4035 Report