When life gives you lemons, it helps to laugh about it and let’s just say that life has dealt some women a fair share of the yellow citrus fruits. With the everyday trials from gender pay gaps to sexual harassment, women everywhere fight to advance themselves with their perseverance and a great sense of humor. As the era of damsels in distress is long over, the ladies from this list have baked the best lemon pies, that no male comedian could ever top in a hilarious jokes bake-off.
Bored Panda has collected a list of witty and funny Tumblr posts from the funniest people also known as women, that so perfectly encapsulate the everyday nonsense we go through using our favorite medium - inappropriate jokes (yes, there are quite a few bra complaints and life hacks). Men, if you read these stories some of them may come as a surprise to you, but to answer your question, yes, this is the kind of stuff women think about/go through. Scroll down below for the complete list of the best jokes written by women and don't forget to upvote your favorites!
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Got a chance to try this almost immediately after I read this life-hack. Worked like a charm! Other person became embarrassed and folded right away :)
I have tried it and OMG it was so difficult not to laugh at the person.
When I was younger I would say with all seriousness... my dad is black. Mainly because my parents moved me from a town where most of my friends and my bffs were black to an all white town.
Now a-days I just say wow that sounds racist...who knew (you were)
Load More Replies...I get paid the same amount as my male colleagues doing the same job. Am I just lucky?
Men are already angry. You think they voted for Trump because they thought he was smart? THey thought he had balls. jokes on them: big deficit and loss of basic benefits...as they twirl into layoffs and lower wages.
This nonsense again? It's been empirically proven over and over and over that the whole 70 cents on the dollar thing is nonsense. The pay gap is so narrow that it's within the margin of error. How nobody takes the time to actually research the topic instead of parroting the stat is beyond me. Here's the kicker: if it was cheaper to hire females, WHY WOULD BUSINESSES HIRE MEN?!?!?!?!
The pay gap is a myth. Women are paid less over the course of their careers due to several factors - leaving the workforce to bear children, being less aggressive, not asking for raises, not asking for a high enough initial salary during the interview process, not asking for promotions... If women were so cheap, workplaces would be full of women - it would be a good business practice to help the bottom line. Women are trained from a young age to be gentle, meek, and quiet and that's not how you get ahead on the career ladder. Ps - I work in a male dominated tech field and make a very competitive salary. I'm also gearing up for paid parental leave (because I wouldn't work at a company that didn't have it). I have gotten two promotions in 3 years, and 3 raises in addition to my yearly percentage raise. Standards, ladies. Get some. You're worth more thank you think, so ask for it. Ask for way more than you're worth and know they will negotiate downward from there.
That male/female pay thing has been debunked for a long time. So tired of that old saw being thrown up by the uninformed
Instead of asking for disadvantage for men rather challenge the dark sides of capitalism. But wait, that requires stepping out of the comfort zone...
There is no perfect system. There is always going to be social and economical differences among the population. Capitalism is the best so far. It is by no means perfect, but it's evil pales in comparison to the horrors of Socialism/Communism.
Load More Replies...Debunked so many times. I live in a country where by law jobs are given to women just for being women. Enterprises, agencies etc.. are forced to hire women just for being women.... gender over talent...super cool. So is the "gender gap", different choices are made, different carreers....you can not just put together the whole women earnings and the men ones and see the differences because we do not choose the same things,the same carreers, we don´t make the same decisions an do do not have the same preferences or concerns. It is just not fair to protest in modern countries for this when things are not like that. It has happened to me to have a female work partner who ears more than me for the same exact job..., oh my god justice justice! well, she earned more than me on her previous job so to change from one to another, the offer had to be better...negotiation, maybe more experience...due to CIRCUNSTANCES...plus women tend to prefer family over work.Stop comparing just on gender. Sick!
Great thing about being a public employee, all of our salaries are posted online as public information. I know everyone the same level as me gets paid the exact same amount as me.
Yeah, this whole thing is WAY blown out of proportion. By and large in the U.S., people are by by seniority and experience, not gender.
I just know right, can't even fit a piece of candy inside without it being crushed to smithereens
Load More Replies...I'm a guy and I wear boot cut jeans, which are IMPOSSIBLE to find in menswear these days, anywhere. Seeing as you've now appropriated guys' pants, is there any chance you ladies could all have a collective word with the ladies' jeans designers of the world and get deeper pockets on your boot-cut jeans? Particularly for... plus-sized people...?
designers don't give a flying rat's @$$ about anything a woman wants.
Load More Replies...My hips would never fit into man's jeans and I would have twice too much space at waist. Weird thing is I always manage to find woman't jeans with pockets.
Same. They just don't fit right. And the same with t-shirts; sometimes the men's section have cooler shirts but the cut it all wrong.
Load More Replies...When you have a small waist, and large hips and thighs, this just isn't possible.
I have large hips and buying men's jeans is the norm for me. They're just stretchy and adjustable. The only part that might present a problem is some jeans are designed to leave more space for the genitals. Those can be uncomfortable.
Load More Replies...why isn't this one higher? great education for children :) they mostly repeat what their authorities say without even thinking about the issue. Someone said it's wrong, therefore it has to be wrong.
And far too many continue to hold those beliefs into adulthood without ever thinking for themselves about why they hold them.
Load More Replies...Women shave because razor companies said they needed to because those companies needed to sell more razors. A thought as well-- hair is a secondary sex characteristic, denoting puberty has passed and a woman is sexually maturing. When you insist on hairlessness, you're insisting on a prepubescent state. Think on that.
Nobody is forcing a woman to shave. I do it because I want to not because I feel pressurized by some ad on tv if you don't want to shave then don't period.
Load More Replies...If it's not supposed to be there then why don't MEN shave their legs?!
I mean, men usually don't shave their armpits, do they? If it's all about convenience, armpit bush would cause A LOT more scent than leg hair could ever do. When was the last time you've said "ugh I'm so sweaty, my legs stink!"? So, it's optional, not a hygiene issue. For men's eyes and delicate menhoods that can't handle seeing hair on a woman, except on her head. Grow up.
A little girl once said to me, "Girls can't ride motorcycles!" I couldn't believe it as I was sitting on my beautiful, beloved BMW at that very moment. I said, "Well, here I am anyway." She was so confused, poor thing.
oh my gosh definite girly girl in the flesh... i want to ride a motorcycle.
Load More Replies...Why do you pick your nose? Why did God give me fingers that fit up my nostrils? Next question!!
wait who are you agreeing with?? i'm really stupid and i don't understand things well... please explain :(( lol
Load More Replies...How much are you asking for it? I would be willing to pay extra for this bra
Nah - the perfect bra would also be a reasonable price!
Load More Replies...THIS BRA IS VOICE CONTROLLED LIKE "BIT LOOSER PLEASE" AND IT RESPONDS CUZ IF YOU GOT TECH TO MAKE SPACE LAMBORGHINIS YOU CAN PUT SIRI INTO MY BRA. AND IT COMES PRE-EQUIPPED WITH SURVIVAL S**T LIKE SWISS ARMY KNIVES AND CHOCOLATE BARS CUZ DAMN A GIRL'S GOTTA LIVE. ALSO THERE'S LASER RAY GUNS IN THE NIPPLE PART, NO RADIATION, THAT S**T GIVES YOU CANCER, AND IF A GUY PISSES YOU OFF YOU POINT YOU TITS AT HIM AND GO BANG BANG MUTHAFOOKA HELL YEAH. ALSO JUST IN CASE YOU WANNA KNOW ALL OUR ELECTRICITY IS POWERED BY ECO FRIENDLY WIND TURBINES AND SOLAR PANELS. THIS THE BRA YOU GONNA WANT. GOING GOING GONEEE
Bra? What is this bra you speak of? Do you mean the uncomfortable breast binding device?
I hate the pads commercials. All the happy girls in FREAKIN' WHITE JEANS!!!! NO! I wear all black when I am on my period and still freak out that there will be a stain somewhere. And most of the time I want to curl in my bed and die basically.
Wearing white pants is a little bit over optimistic watever the moment of the month. You're basically saying to the world: "I trust my cycle(or pad), I trust the rain not to show up, I trust that no kids will hug me, no pet will come around, no one had put his/her dirty shoes on the seat before I use it, I trust myself while I eat, I trust my coworker not to spill coffee..."
Load More Replies...You can run swim sleep everything but we will still be a******s and make the packaging really loud and hard to open
Yep, like the tampons where you have to twist the wraping to tear it instead of the good old little piece of plastic that was easy to pull.
Load More Replies...This reminds me when I was too small for periods I thought that pads were some kind of special device to make women flexible and I wanted one so I could do the splits like the women in the commercial.
Why do all the girls look so happy on their period. I become a chocolate stealing goblin who hates people when I'm on mine.
Same. My dad legit fears me when I’m on mine. And I almost always hate people, unless they bribe me with food. If you bribe me with food, your my family now, and you can’t ever stop.
Load More Replies...Why are you worried about women hearing you open a pad? They know the routine and they aren't going to judge you for it.
It's kinda like not wanting to fart in public. It's perfectly normal but you don't want people to know.
Load More Replies...And the blue liquid they also use in the ads... I think we can handle blood, period ads.
I hate hate hate the commercial that says "60% of women are wearing the wrong size pad". Ok, FIRST of all, it's not like we have ever had a tremendous number of pad size options. SECOND of all, don't try to shame me for "wearing a pad wrong." Sorry, I picked regular when I should have picked long?
A noisy wrapper isn't always a terrible thing. If you're in a stall and find out that the Lovely Lady Time is giving you a surprise visit, you've got no pad but then hear the wrapper, you know who to ask for one :)
Also the thinner the pad is even with "space age absorbent materials" - the less it actually works and does its job. Pad makers are possibly dudes, because they've never had a real period. Periods aren't a thin blue liquid and women actually move around while we are on them, PLUS despite porn, ladybits aren't shaped like smooth peaches. :[
If men want to stop abortions they should stop having unprotected sex, women can orgasm over and over and over and there are no unwanted babies created. It's women's bodies at stake but it's men's pride causing the problem. If men had to deal with the consequences of unwanted births this debate wouldn't be one
STANDING IN MY CHAIR CLAPPING MY HANDS CRAZY AF!
Load More Replies...A little bit off topic, but still related. As a woman, I do agree that the final decision should be ours, but I completely disagree to discard or ban men from participating in the debate for the "women's problems" reasons. Saying that the questions about abortion are an exclusively female topic means we didn't move much further from the mentality of child care and parental responsibility being a "women's only job". It's our bodies, so ours should be the last and definitive word. But usually it takes two to start a pregnancy, and a male can feel the weight of the decision of whether to become a father too. Sure, it's not his body, so his situation will be different, but still they need to be included.
But with current state of society, men hijack all the airtime. So I say, it's women who get to discuss and make decisions until the men learn not to be a******s in the discussions.
Load More Replies...If birth control worked on men it would be law that they receive BC in the mail each month for free. And they would take it each day with a smile on their face.
Reminds me, TMI for some maybe, ya be warned. I went to a sexshop online and looked for some good stuff, and the mens d***s were shamelessly out, but they censured the women, at a sexshop, they censured....The women????? But mens d***s was everywhere???? at an online sexshop????
exactly the thing is some dude leave there children saying i don't want them then why did u have sex with the mother of the child or u could had used f*****g protectin my god and two if u wanna have kid then leav them when there born its like wtf u wanted the kids now your leaveing them cause now u dont f*****g need them wow f*****g bullshit
This might be weird or offensive but watching commercials almost all of them demonstrates how they work or used but I noticed that pads and feminine wash they just use happy girls, blue liquid, sudden gust of wind, fake wind with scent.
Load More Replies...I want there to be a commercial where the main actress is like a viking or samurai warrior and she has like an epic battle sequence and at the end, she's got her foot on a pile of dead bodies dripping blood, then she looks at the camera and says "I might step in blood while vanquishing my enemies. But I never leak it during my time of the month" or something
And mucus mixed with blood. If the pad can absorb that,I am buying. I do not know whether they test it for mucus
The Danish pad brand Libresse did this last year. You'd see blood running down a woman's thigh while showering.
the was this one add where a woman was covering up a murder, and used the pad to mop up the blood. Police burst in with search warrent, everything looks normal, no evidence of foul play.
Better than a never ending stream blood appearing ot of nothing and moving toward me.
Your blood is not visible. Otherwise, you'd see all the contents of the whole vessel system.
Load More Replies...well technically everything inside the body would be invisible too
But it doesn't belong in your body. And it's not natural. And it's not sealed in your body, there's an opening (hopefully. If not, something's wrong.)
Load More Replies...I- Idk about the rest of yall but Toru Hagakure. From My Hero Academia? HOW WAS THIS NOT THOUGHT OF OM-
Or a random trail of blood falling from no where for pad users
laughing hurts rn because my stomach is sore but i laughed until i just couldn't stand the pain anymore
But you wouldn't have to wear a tampon because people wouldn't be able to see the blood...? Wait, wha...
Relatable for the men with long hair too :) Hate it when this happens. Usually I just bust out a new holder at that point
it's the worst feeling!!!!! that and when you get one that you go for the first loop and it breaks ugh
Load More Replies...Ugh, I hate it when that happens.Then I have to switch the hair ties. Good thing I have about thousand of them all over the place and they're also good as cat toys. Does anyone else have their favorite one or two hair ties that they wear almost every time until they have to switch despite having a ton of other hair ties lying around or put away?
Yep! Hate it when they break! Also have to be careful my pup doesn't get hold of them as she destruction tests everything!!
Load More Replies...Popped one yesterday morning trying for that third loop! Stung the s**t out of my hand too.
Sometime I have to were 3 hair ties for it to be tight enough for my thick as* hair
Yeah great threat, but I'd never be able to pull it off if I actually was on my period. I'd be sobbing in a puddle of blood shoving chocolate up my mouth and wishing I was a boy.
You've got to hit it at the right moment ..like when the PMS is kicking in. Then it makes it easier to do the crazy eyed look as your saying it. It really sells the idea.
Load More Replies...I'm done with periods but into menopause. WAY. MORE. SCARY. "I started my evening by breaking out into a total body sweat. Would you like to see your own intestines before I take your heart out with a spatula?" -- typical conversation at dinnertime in the post-50 household. Be afraid. And find a good hiding spot. ;)
I am glad that there are decent, actual men in this world who don’t make that sort of derogatory comment. But for the girls who deal with the immature, weak males who do spout such a comment, you can tell those males the following: ‘ if you notice, you’d realize most of all murders in this world are caused by males; pretty much all dictators are male; who start wars are males; those who get in gangs are mostly males, too; road rage is something that a lot of males have on an almost daily basis, too, to the point of some males starting actual fights; and even when they’re not on the road, some males start fights at clubs, bars, football games, etc— so, it seems that many males are on a DAILY period of some sort (not just a monthly period like girls deal with), for all the negative and violent emotion that many males exhibit (and this proves that many males are very emotional, in the worst sense possible, since they’re emotional in a way that’s really potentially violent).
chi-wei shen how many people on BP are delusional enough to think it's okay to ask a woman are you on your period? and those that do deserve to be killed, brutally I might add.
page 17 You're beautiful the way you are page 18--289 Let's look at all these models and talk about how they're perfect and we should all look like them
They want u to lose weight so u will have room for the cake :)
I have an issue with the notion of gender magazine. So women are not allowed to love cars and movies and men are supposes to hate cooking and people news. That's just stupid. Bring the whole garbage together and offer ungendered magazines on the different subjects.
Of course there are "gender normative" magazines, because we ARE different sexes. However there are many mags that don't target either sex and cater to a specific interest i.e. car magazines, cooking, movies, sewing....you can buy any magazine you want if you like what the cover says. Women's and Men's mags cater to a specific interest of the buyer, nothing wrong with it.
Load More Replies...You will also have to continuously add money to the pregnancy app installation.
Then, after you've incorporated the program into your daily life, they do a random upgrade where you overheat. become unstable, and potentially explode with the force of ten thousand suns. Warranty does not cover acts of God, or acts of Hormones. Take cover. May God be with you.
Just install the birth control anti virus software as long as you update it every 3 months your good to go (only works for periods)
Spackle is one of the worlds greatest inventions! Without spackle and duct tape we'd still be living in caves.
Load More Replies...another moisturizer that costs about $500 and your first born
Load More Replies...“And this anti wrinkle cream is specifically for your right dimple area”
Has to be said though, men are starting to get more 'product' aimed at them. I laugh at the one with Gerard Butler saying 'you don't want to look tired' instead of, use moisturer
Do you know why it is that way? Because women will buy it that way. Men generally will not.
I'm a salty craver, so I'd prefer a coupon for chips, Doritos, whatever. Maybe women could trade them, so if I got one for chocolate and you got one for chips, we'd trade and everyone would be happy. This so needs to happen!
nothing less than 50%, no black out dates or flavors, good at EVERY store
This should be MUCH HIGHER. That's genius actually....Nutella and red wine with every box of tampons. Yes Please.
Those individually wrapped squares of chocolate. Make a deal with Ghirardelli, already!
Maybe he was honking at your brother in the first place.....you never know.
I really don't mind that people can tell I'm wearing underwear (if they can see where the outline is for example), it's better than if they think I have no underwear on. See-through clothing still sucks.
Even worse is the comment; 'I can see your bra strap'. Uh... yeah? And this is an issue why? Kind of a fact of life.
Load More Replies...And yet guys can walk around with their pants hanging around their thighs and it's ok!!!
Oh my god don't get me started on that one.....also what in the actual fluff is my bra strap gonna do to someone???? Yes it's a bit tacky but I have literally seen guys wander around holding their pants cuz they are so far down their a*s!!!!
Load More Replies...When I was 8 years old, there were a lot of naughty boys messing with our skirts (school uniform) and deliberately show our underwear under the skirt. The boys would laugh a lot and some girls would cry. I also became one of their "victims" and shouted "at least I am wearing underwear while you boys don't wear any"... It was a lie but I made all the girls laugh and shamed the boys... It was bad but it was satisfying. LOL
I'm sorry you had to go through that at such a young age :/
Load More Replies...I will use this space to complain about how thin the fabric is on most of the shirts in the teen girls' clothing section. Who wants a shirt that looks like it is made of tissue paper?
This is so true. Last year I had to do a performance for a class assessment and we had to do it for the public. I left my shirt at home so I called my mum to get it. She brought it in and all was fine until everyone was pointing out my bra. I had to wear a light pink shirt and with the stage lights, you could see my dark blue bra crystal clear and I forgot to ask my mum to pick up my yellow one (I only had a yellow, dark blue and black bra). I was 14! I'm pretty sure it was better than going without and people being able to see my nipples!
Wear a bra and people go crazy if it's visible. Don't wear a bra and people go crazy and can't believe what they're seeing
go back in time and slap the first training bra out of younger you's hand and tell her that if she wants to be comfortable in the future to never wear a bra because according to science if you don't wear bras your boobs will be perfectly fine on their own and you'll still look good
I mean I'd be happy I was marrying the love of my life but also pretty disappointed about not getting a cinnabon
because he knows you well enough to know he wants to spend his life with you....cinnabon is in another bag. right!?!?!
They aren't known for their exceptional quality!
Load More Replies...Haha - reminds me of the time I called the shop to complain my 2 week old TV was not working - they promised to send a repairman out the very next morning. 10 mins later I sheepishly phoned them back to cancel --- we had a power cut.
good thing that you didn't just wait for the repairman to come and said "sorry, it's fixed", cause some people do that
Load More Replies...Check out his bag for: 1-A bottle of Champagne 2- A hand saw 3- Just regular TV repair tools
Please, generalization will not help. I would say you have found the one thing all men say, congrats.
DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have heard many men say that, and there are many more men whom I have heard speak, but who have not said that in my presence, though they might well have said that to others. And there are, of course, orders of magnitude more men whom I have never heard speak at all, so I cannot properly address the validity of your thesis in those cases. Have you heard all men say that, or are you making an assertion that you cannot support with evidence?
We've been recording it all - everything!! Bwahahahahhahah!!!
Load More Replies...I love how for some people its 'cool' to eat more if you are a thin woman but you are a disgusting cow if you eat the same being a little bit chubby
yeah. people find it cute when a thin woman eat a lot but when the girl is chubby they find it disgusting. but to be fair it's the same thing for guys.
Load More Replies...that condition is so accurate. the larger you are, the harder it is to navigate food without judgement. if you don't eat, people say you just binge later. if you eat healthy, people ask who are you kidding. if you eat unhealthy, people say that's how you got to be like this. there is no winning.
Some people have it stuck in their heads that if they eat in front of other people, they look fat
Load More Replies...i licked snack powder off my table and since we have a great dane i got dog hair in my mouth (her hair is EVERYWHERE) but it was worth it for tasty snack powder
this has absolutely nothing to do with anything but why not share
Load More Replies...For a second, I thought the girl was calling the dude photosynthesis.
I love to cook (because I love to eat) and my favorite saying is, "Never trust a skinny chef".
LOL i am a bit chubby and i love cooking and baking. my family is dairy and gluten free but i have made so many tasty dairy free gluten free treats since last november when we went gluten free and i've been off dairy since first grade
Load More Replies...But only thin people can eat a lot, if your a little bigger its disgusting.
Exactly! I hate the word "ladylike." Ladylike is whatever the f**k I want it to be.
Load More Replies...My dad once told me I didn't have an appropriate (singing) voice for a girl. I just looked at him and said, "I'm female and this is my voice. It can't not be appropriate."
But im not a lady, dad. I'm a trans dude but you don't know yet.
Load More Replies...You'd think guys would understand and not judge us for comfortable sitting positions given they have a d**k between their legs but nope clearly they still feel entitled to pass judgement
The tablecloth story reminds me of an old woman who used to insist that you should never serve a leg of lamb for dinner "because it gives men ideas." Some people are odd.
What about chicken breast, rack of lamb, rump roast.... and because of the emojies, should we forget about peaches and eggplant?
Load More Replies...Gah!!! And the saying "boys will be boys"!!! I hate it It excuses stupid wrong behavior from boys, yet when a girl does something wrong, she's evil or a s**t or b***h
Boys WON'T be boys. Boys will be held accountable for their actions like the rest of us!
Load More Replies...The only time that I have ever been attracted to a table is when there is a buffet on it.
women are so irrational they start wars and conflicts over some land and....oops no that's men.
Explains my confusion with why tablecloths are a THING... Boner killer. Makes sense to me.
casually say that you appear to be sterile and watch them shrink from shame
Load More Replies...A few weeks ago a taxi driver kept telling me how much he would have loved to have been born a woman and be able to feel a baby grow inside him. He just couldn't understand how I, a woman, was truly horrified at the prospect of having an alien displacing my organs, stealing my nutrients and then ripping me apart. Not all women want to have kids! He kept trying to convince me all the way, longest trip ever...
Ask him how he feels about the next 25 years after that marvelous feeling end.
Load More Replies...Yes! I don't want children. Get over it. I don't find them funny or cute - yet I don't mind that you do so why mind that I don't want them?
"you'll change your mind in your thirties" - I hear that all the time. Hate it so much. I made my decision. Leave me alone.
I've heard that as well... I'm now 45, I don't have children and still very happy that way.
Load More Replies...Ugh there is no balance!! Husband and I were married for years and years before having kids. We swore them off and got harassed on the regular on it. Then we somehow changed our priorities/minds and decided to have kids. We had a boy then a girl. I would like to have a third now and I get either "oh but you already have one of each!" or "Two is enough don't be so selfish!". People just love to judge no matter what the situation in my experiences. Some more than others. people suck
And the look they give you, like your a monster or something. Not everybody likes to be a mother! Some woman want a carreer, travel the world or what ever. Besides the world is already over populated, who is the monster now...
I got told I was being selfish... Um, how? You are having children because YOU wanted them and not for some national good.
Load More Replies...I had several people tell me that I should have kids, even though I don't want to currently, because I will definitely want children at some point in the future and it will be late. Like what should I do with them if the time pass and I still don't want children? Return them? What's wrong with people. If I say I don't want to have children it's for a reason, I have thought about it, it's my business after all not everyone else's
The best thing about turning 45... people finally shut the f up and realize I was serious when I said no kids from the time I was old enough to know what kids were. And a big F you to every male doctor who refused to sterilize me from the day I turned 21. Nope, I did NOT change my mind, thanks for nothing.
God yeah, out of all the girls I know, I -the only guy- am probably the most likely to faint at the sight of blood
Load More Replies...I remember reading in a novel set in the medieval Europe. The characters were talking about wars, and a woman said something like: "men go to war to see the blood. Us women, we see our own at every change of the moon." (not trying to prove a point here, just a random thought. The title of the book was Q, written by a group of authors going by different names. This Q was published under Luther Blissett)
I had a female colleague, so scared of blood.. she fainted by sight of it.. We found her often (monthly) passed out in the toilets.
Oh, she should have asked a friend to go with her, to look after her.
Load More Replies...Like in "Game of Thrones", when Jon Snow tried to explain fainting to Ygritte, that girls do it at the sight of blood. She's like, "Girls see more blood than boys ever do."
I like the extended version of this post where they get into werewolves and cult sacrifices
If blood is from random person it won't bother me a bit but if blood is from close family member (Mom, Dad, Sister, Wife, Son) I get week in knees instantly and have fainted as well couple of times. Pretty strange.
I get grossed out at other people's blood but not my own
For me PMS blood is different because like the colour and consistency are different to that of actual blood which makes it more manageable. Actual blood however is shocking fire engine red and watery as c**p 🤢 no thank you
but don't laugh too hard....it could cause a new wet
Load More Replies...That thought process is such a HABIT after so many years, I still have it with myself ALL THE TIME...and I had a hysterectomy LAST YEAR! At least my options are down to 2...
In between periods, during the ovulation i get a lot of extra secretions. I can feel it coming out the same way period does and i freak out every time because i know i am not expecting it and especially if i am somewhere in public i just try to squeeze it and keep it inside until i can go to a bathroom and check out what it is.
I feel you Loredana, I WISH I KNEW HOW TO STOP IT
Load More Replies...This article is about the funny things women have said, it’s not specifically on what women relate to.
Load More Replies...There used to be a french bulldog puppy that lived next door to where I worked. (his name was Max). I swear, Max had more groupies than beiber... all of said groupies trying to get his owner's number. Irony- his people were gay.
Load More Replies...It's a good screening test for first dates "Hey, do you mind if I bring my dog along on the hike?" If the answer was "no", then I knew it wouldn't work out. The keeper was "Yes please! Tell me what kind of treats he likes so I can pack some. I know this great dog-friendly lunch place we can go after the hike."
Not exactly true. They were invented to be a better sanitary napkin for women (unlike the poor absorption cloth re-washable ones that were used until that period). The company was in bankruptcy because no one wanted to buy these products, and the advertising cost to educate consumers on them was out of their budget. B/c it was during WW1 at this point the company decided to sell them to the various allied militaries as a type of bandage because they were so effective at absorbing blood. It was used by field medics, not hospital nurses, as a way to seal wounds. That saved the company financially and gave them to capital to educate consumers about their benefits of tampons for women. And in 1919 it became a bit success in the womens products market. So what is written here is wrong, but not too far off. It was always intended for women during their periods, but it was used by medics for wounds in the field, and then after the war was sold again for their original intended purpose.
I like how the words 'feminine hygiene' are between tildes, like the writer isn't comfortable saying it.
During active shooter training, we were taught to use tampons or pads (if we had them on hand) to help stop blood from a bullet wound. If there's nothing else to use, seems like a legit practice.
I learned, they were invented by a female swimmer who rolled up a pad. That led to the product name "o.b." which is short for "ohne Binde" (German for "without Pad")
Black hair, sable hair, pink nose and a wee bandit mask: Ferrets for the win.
For me: black eyes, very light brown hair, 4 paws, much wow, Shiba Inu
i mean the first two are cute in guys but better in dogs🥺
If they made another sign for women, it'd be: "WOMEN MAYBE FOUND IN THIS AREA. Run for your lives.
I agree, and warning signs should be mandatory for all woman as they are more dangerous and unpredictable than snakes.
Dude, wtf? If you came here to hate, you came to the wrong place.
Load More Replies...*Rubs eyes* *Remembers I'm wearing contact lenses* *Screams in pain from the dislodging*
*Rubs eyes* *Remembers I'm still wearing my glasses* Lol
Load More Replies...Another reason I, as a woman, never wear makeup. That, and I'm too lazy. And broke.
I can’t wear make up EVER because of this exact reason (speaking in a whisper)
I can't wear eye makeup ever because this happens within the first ten minutes.
Load More Replies...I don't get heels. I feel like I always have to be prepared to run away when I need to. Like from any social gatherings or my problems. Can't do that in heels.
My advice: rip off the heel if possible and use it as a weapon while running awkwardly
Load More Replies...My soon to be 18 yr old little brother bought more pairs of shoes this summer than I have bought all year.
Load More Replies...so true, I know kids that buy 5 f*****g pairs of shoes $120+ and up and then whine that they got no money
.. or the 50 pairs of Jordans he has arranged by year in a walk in closet that he wears once and never wears again.
I try not to buy a lot of shoes. I just like to look at them on line and fantasize about owning them!
Well tbh i am super into shoes but exactly tho like guys are too its fine
I have like... 4-5 pairs of shoes and boots. 1 pair of sandals for summer. 1 pair of all-occasion shoes. 1 pair of boots with a thick heel. 1 pair of winter boots. And 1 pair of rain boots that don't get much use. I might like a pair or two of cooler looking boots, but that's about it.
Running shoes every 3 months? I think I might be too poor to drop 100+ euros/ dollars on shoes 4 times a year.
I feel the same trust me. But I work out 5-6 days a week. I have now been unable to work out for three weeks because of excruciating foot pain. Caused by worn out shoes. Very good quality shoes no less. But over a year old. Oops.
Load More Replies...I only wear wirefree, so I go for when the clasps start to fall off, lol
me neither. they f--ing HUUUUUUURT
Load More Replies...I don't get underwired bras. It doesn't support the bit that actually needs supporting - the bit that actually sticks out. How does having it run along your ribs do anything? Now if it ran along the cup, away from your body and upwards to the nip then I can see that might do it.
Women with larger breast find the underwire gives more support. Not to mention it reduces the feeling of under-boob sweat. I hate a bra with no wire, feels like I'm flopping around, or might come out of it.....
Load More Replies...This whole comment section has made me so happy that I'm not the only one who wears their bra till it literally falls off
And you have already fixed said titty shanker so many times there is literally nothing left to see together to keep the wire in
The time I start wearing underwire is when they can get me better reception than my current antenna.
Ah, yes. I remember the day they invented out the first woman. T'was the year 1990 and men wanted to create a creature of darkness. A fearful being with immense power. Thus, the woman was born.
Ah that explains a lot, I must be the second generation of women, created in 91, thats why theres still some technical problems with me, they hadn't yet mastered how to make a woman function.
Load More Replies...Yep. Lawrence of Arabia. Three hours and forty eight minutes of all men. Not a single woman has a speaking part and you barely even see a woman until about the 3:42 mark.
Welcome to everything staring Tom Cruise. And they just killed M... Thanks for proving my point.
Being born in 1984 I remember this so vividly. As soon as the clock chimed midnight to dawn in 1st of January 1990. I ceased to be a mere entity and my mother suddenly appeared in full form. It was very surprising to my Father who had never seen women before.
Nah, it was way back when God created MAN. He took one look and thought, "I can do better" and He created WOMAN.
That's why they don't have mothers..... every disney movie would have ended in the first 15 minutes... XD
Pretty much all disney princesses are under 20...But I will still imagine them as older, I mean, Belle being a minor with a Beast around? No thanks, Jasmine being 15 and Jafar clearly being an older man all into her? makes me wanna vomit.
i was six when this first happened lol, i already knew the age you were seen as an adult back then via my ma
but wait she got married at sixteen that makes no sence i don't think she is actually sixteen i think she like twenty cause in the secound movie she all like ooo im 18 now i have a baby named melody omg im so cool TWT
Well, I'm 13 and I do this I fricken hate the little mermaid
I was walking down the street the other day a bus full of teenagers started catcalling and yelling at me for not turning around
They learn it early. Hopefully, they unlearn it soon.
Load More Replies...Im pretty sure one of my classmates has done this at some point (13yo thing)
Say that to every straight guy that catcalls you. Watch his face when he (thinks he) realizes he just catcalled a guy
Don't forget the water slides down your wrists and your long sleeves get wet even though you rolled them up
and sometimes the soapy water makes its way into your nostrils and you cough and sneeze like crazy
And in your eyes, and you can't see, and your face still isn't clean.
It's meant as the rinsing stage of whatever product is being sold.
Load More Replies...Especially if it's cold cream or Noxema. That stuff don't come off without scrubbing with a washcloth!
We only need one man to populate the world if we ever decide to clean the slate lol
Load More Replies...God created men first and women second - only because he realized that you gotta have a prototype BEFORE you start the real thing.
"that men should never have been at such a social and political advantage as to be able to literally give and take away rights".. love that!!! absolutely!
Remember that women gave men the right to begin ya know...living.
Science has found a way where we can use two women or that of bone marrow to make babies. Men are now officially useless to procreate.
Have a think about the dynamics of the time period.
Load More Replies...I do this sorta, then break down crying (partly because of the acting, mostly because I think im going mental)
Exactly. Do you know how alarming it is to get your period for the first time? Pulling down your pants and finding your underwear DRENCHED IN BLOOD.
Could use a tampon because, sorry, but it's cleaner than letting it flow.
bit silly, you need to clean the area, letting all the old blood flow out. you can always clean your shower afterward right.?
Load More Replies...I actually stood up then fell on my face because my legs were asleep XD
In my day, Aspirin , paracetamol wasn’t even available,(& is useless anyway) did you know that juniper berries are a natural pain reliever so, Gin, Gin is made from Juniper berries & Tequila Slammer chasers, basically, booze, get wasted for 3 days, alcohol is a good anesthetiser. Recommended for the gut wrenching crippling pain of Endometriosis.
Actually, back then woman were used for that. They didnt get a choice. It is the mens fault.
Load More Replies...Women used to deliberately get fat and when men went to war they'd lose the weight and have the thing fall off.
Load More Replies...I often wonder where the nine months thing came from? Full human gestation is approximately forty weeks, which adds up to ten months.
Or get a certain form of birth control. For example Mirena IUD (Lasts 10, 5, or 3 years.) Or the Depovera Shot, lasts 3 months.
56? I started with hot flashes and night sweats when I was 40. This s**t better not last 16 more years.
well. you can get fat, aor be anorectic... the menstrual cycle would stop
Troll dude, all your nay-saying is getting really boring.
Load More Replies..."boys don't want to marry girls that all the dudes are lusting after" OH YES THEY DO!
shaycarl, if you're the one lusting then you're the problem. Why don't you try to control your own thought/behavior instead of trying to control hers?
What really bothers me is not being able to walk alone at night. I love nighttime and walking around at 1 AM alone would be amazing.
Definition of Feminazi: A woman who stands up for herself and her sisters.
If that's a Feminazi, I'm m***********g Hitler! Girls ftw!
Load More Replies...OMFG YES. Look up menimist tweets and prepare to get mad.
Load More Replies...I hate the fact that I am afraid to walk at night. I would love nothing more than to go for a midnight stroll when I can't sleep.
Even with pepper spray and a taser, I won't do it. Because if anything happens to me everyone will say "well she shouldn't have been out alone after dark"
Load More Replies...I once read 'the thing men fear most on a first date is that the woman will laugh at them. The thing women fear most on a first date is that the man will kill them'. Don't think I've met a man who gets this, not even my own partner.
I took up running for a whole day. I couldn't even run around my own freaking neighborhood without some jerkoffs catcalling me.
I can't walk alone at night. Not because of men but because I live in the country and never know when you'll come across an animal at night that can harm you.
my mom said she won't let me ride alone on my scooter to my friend's place (after covid oc) because she's worried about people stealing me and i'm just like "why would people steal me" and that led into a discussion about why people kidnap all the way to the store
and my friend only lives about a street or two over it doesn't take long to get there
Load More Replies...They don't do it to attract women. They do it to make women feel uncomfortable and then they laugh with their mates.
Load More Replies...There is one specific model of skinny jeans I wear. If they stop producing them, I will start a riot.
I had a perfect pair of jeans in my uni years. And I mean perfect! I was home for the holidays, and my mother put them in the washer with a pink shirt that belonged to my brother. They were utterly ruined. My mother tried dyeing them blue. They were horrible. This was years ago, and I still get mad just to think about it. I think I'll never get over it.
Any clothing. There are two sizes...too small and not too small. There is nothing that actually fits properly
I've had a couple pair of jeans like this, but they are but a distant memory.
I hate shopping for clothes. I usually go that one local shop and basically, try the first heabs of my size I see and 60% of time buy those (if they fit, obviously). The other 40% of time I buy the second pair of jeans I see. My jeans shopping takes a grand lot of 10 minutes=x
When my house caught fire and I was left in just my jeans my friend washed them for me. I had to put them back on damp. They grew and grew. Oh, I also thought it was hot water - to help shrink them?
Load More Replies...Meh, I just bite it. I don't care about anyone's little fantasies. Ice-cream is not penis. Full stop.
Neither is a hot dog. Or a banana. Or an ice cream cone....
Load More Replies...I was in a same situation with a banana, the boys were waiting what will I do. So I tore in the half. That expression on their faces, it was priceless :)
agreed. I am still immature as heck about the penis shaped foods.
Load More Replies...Many times I eat a banana on my way home from the gym. 0 f*cks given.
omg i was at lunch with a group of my guy friends and i was like pairing pieces of banana with a chocolate granola bar cause y'know that's a normal thing to do and one of them is just like "the only way to eat a banana around guys is with a f*****g spoon"
Actually, I've heard it's the opposite? A period is basically the uterus saying; 'let's nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.'
You shouldn't believe things just because you've heard them. Always fact-check. (And in this case the original is more right)
Load More Replies...but the sperm did not come until the ovaries dead, so uterus throw out the dead ovaries to make room for new ovaries
Load More Replies...Uterus tries to move into another dimension thereby causing "cramps" (understatement of the year)
When I watched TV as a child I often thought there was something off about me, because I couldn't relate to most of the stuff they presented as "normal woman things". Things became much more clearer when I found out most other women didn't agree either and all that was written by men.
Screaming. I can remember ONCE in my life when my hubby jumped out at me when I didn't know he was home and besides screaming I reacted in such a way he never ever did that again. And neither did I. Scream again.
Load More Replies...$36 bra is expensive!? I wish my bras were that cheap!!! when you're a non-standard size, they start at like $55
I watched the same CSI episodea month ago, and I had exactly the same thought :D !!SPOILER ALERT!!: she sold her panties on a panty sniffer con.
Yet another way you could tell it was written by a man...most regular women wouldn't randomly sell their expensive underwear on pantysniffer.com...they are gonna sell the cheap ugly ones that they can buy in a 12 pack at WalMart
Load More Replies...bras and underpants only match in ads
Load More Replies...i actually know both of these episodes and also thought how ridiculous the premise was.
I'm so glad to read these comments, I thought I was some kind of lazy bum because I just wear bras and knickers that are comfortable and I like the look of, and never, ever match
You know, as amusing as most of these are I feel like there have been too much "tumblr" articles on BoredPanda lately. I've seen most of this s**t and if I wanted tumblr humour I'd go to tumblr.
I think I have a problem, its 1:00 a.m. and i just scrolled through 203 posts reading every single one of them.
The first half I laughed til I cried - then sloooowly they got worse and worse. And why the 5-6 repeats?
Because when you reload or go to the next page the order may have changed as they will have been voted on.
Load More Replies...It's a shame that you're whiney, woman hating a*s still gets to comment on articles.
Load More Replies...You know, as amusing as most of these are I feel like there have been too much "tumblr" articles on BoredPanda lately. I've seen most of this s**t and if I wanted tumblr humour I'd go to tumblr.
I think I have a problem, its 1:00 a.m. and i just scrolled through 203 posts reading every single one of them.
The first half I laughed til I cried - then sloooowly they got worse and worse. And why the 5-6 repeats?
Because when you reload or go to the next page the order may have changed as they will have been voted on.
Load More Replies...It's a shame that you're whiney, woman hating a*s still gets to comment on articles.
Load More Replies...
