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Food is that other great necessity, closely related to crude bodily functions, that is the topic of many jokes. From the over-top exploding diner scene in Monty Python's The Meaning of Life, to sexy, food-related double entendre like beef stroganoff, if it's worth a laugh, food has been there. That's why Bored Panda has compiled this list of the funniest food tweets ever. Which one makes you hunger for more? Vote on the funniest tweet below!
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#1
Mattias Bengtsson 9 years ago
Being vegan has nothing with top do with eating organic or gluten free food.
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Troux 9 years ago
Most people don't realize this, but they have only heard the most outspoken members of a group when they complain about that group being outspoken.
Steph DeMarco 9 years ago
Most people don't realize this but many non-vegans are huge d***s about you not wanting to eat meat. "Why aren't you eating the pulled pork?" at a BBQ or "Oh, you're ordering the butternut squash not the filet mignon?" at a wedding will lead to me saying - yea, actually... I don't eat meat. So, then... you tell me all the stupid reasons that I *should* eat meat and I'm a huge moron for not realizing that we are at the top of the food chain (which, by the way, we're not). While I'm in no way advocating preaching veganity or vegetarianism, the MEAT eaters are the judge-y ones in my experience. I don't eat meat for medical reasons, so I have no preachy vegan agenda to push, and still, people insist on being an a*****e about my food, constantly.
Stina 9 years ago
"You wanna go out to eat?" "You want some of this?" "I'm bringing you cookies!" "You should eat a burger." "Come over and I'll cook." "We're having a lunch meeting." I get it, there are annoying preachy eaters, but they aren't limited to one group. Sometimes letting people know our dietary restrictions ahead of time saves a lot of headaches, awkwardness, and potentially harmful reactions later.
Jackie Cronin 9 years ago
Yes!!! I'd be so happy if everyone could stop talking about their special diets!!
Jin Khampy 9 years ago
This is hilarious coming from people who post about bacon all the time. (:
RELATED:
#2
Melody Lanzatella 9 years ago
OMG! I am not the only one! P.S. LOVE your handle! (screen name)
#4
#5
carin brick 5 years ago
Food and Drink Our freshly roasted coffee, our house-made breads, brick oven pizzas, artisanal gelato, house made pastries, soups, sandwiches, made from scratch Coffee Barhttps://carinibrickoven.com/coffee/
#6
Judy Semmens 7 years ago
A lot of people write "dessert" instead of "desert". So an arid island becomes a place where there's lots of sweet food; instead of dying of starvation you die of diabetes.
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James Schaefer 9 years ago
It's because the restaurants aren't good enough for ketchup me thinks
#8
Carly Noelle 9 years ago
Not as good as celery, though . . . Celery take more calories to digest than it gives you.
#9
Joshua Mandell 9 years ago
Pour sugar on your tongue after burning it and you will stop feeling that way.....
Lizard Babe 8 years ago
I KNO THE PAIN! I DATED A KOMONO DRAGON!! Nice guy but he moved to fast for me in the relationship
Ayana sjoberg 9 years ago
Then forgive them they are just going through the hot faze just put it in the freezer for 30 sec-1 min and let it cool down then take it out forgive them and they forgive you!
#10
#11
Georgia Stergiadis 9 years ago
Or keep me focused on the movie whilst eating something so I don't get bored
Uli Malsch 9 years ago
One of my dreams is to own a movie theater. It'll be one where popcorn is banned!
#12
Karin Fern 9 years ago
I mix cereal in mine and Ta Dah! it IS breakfast...Only sometimes it is like 9pm
Jude 9 years ago
Nothing better for breakfast than apple pie with ice cream and champagne to drink! Had that for breakfast once. Sadly, it was just one time.
Kalikima 9 years ago
Unless you're underage, you can do that anytime you want! Nothing to be sad about...
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Lucy Skye 9 years ago
What does 'erm, ok' mean? What are you trying to say to this post?
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#14
Jessica Duncan 9 years ago
Someone who truly loves you would ask if you want any BEFORE they make the plate.
Shana 9 years ago
But when you ask before you make it, they never want any :P
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Stephanie Barr 9 years ago
This no longer works when you have children. You'd better make extra...of course, then they won't want it.
#15
#16
Carolee Samuda-Bailey 9 years ago
It's not supposed to be grammatically correct. That's why it's funny.
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#17
Emerald Joanna 9 years ago
Anna Kendrick looks like she lost the will to eat a long time ago in that case...
#18
Liz Miller 9 years ago
For how many people do you want chopsticks with your take out sushi Me: ... Uhm... 3? *tosses 2 sets of chopsticks away*
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Yoko Takachi 9 years ago
Happens every time I order chicken wings... "For a party, I recommend..." - "No dear, it's for me. Only me!!!"
#19
Alessandra Trabalho 9 years ago
Oh, the joys of having been born and living in a tropical country :)))))))
Ayana sjoberg 9 years ago
I think everyone does this or steals there brothers jacket and then continue
Kristina Trick 9 years ago
I must burn extra calories fighting hypothermia and shaking so if I want to be size 10 I must carry on eating it.
Elizabeth Gruenwald 7 years ago
I relate or crawl under blanket turn on heats and keep eating. I luv this one
#20
#21
Kris Ruddy 7 years ago
Scene set: Roomba vacuum waiting...eyes scanning. Popcorn hits floor....Roomba zips out snatches popcorn before Andy can bend over and is back in place eyes closing in contentment. Eyes open again...scanning...scanning.
#22
#23
Kris Ruddy 7 years ago
Or, maybe, it was the fish they caught and released on their last fishing trip! ;-)
#24
Kris Ruddy 7 years ago
Hoping that every time I open the door...the inventory of food in the fridge has CHANGED!
#25
Anna Müllerová 9 years ago
I was thinking about it, then rejected it as too much work, and now you are my hero
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Bobbi Newell 9 years ago
The box says to 'Find out more on the back!' I'm willing to bet it's a portmanteau word: Vegan + Organic.
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Suzanne Manning 9 years ago
Yea, cuz adding "ic" at the end of a word makes it so much more ....worthy.
#26
Kaylee Forhan 9 years ago
Apple seeds don't have arsenic, they have cyanide.
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#27
Suzanne Manning 9 years ago
That's right up there with: "Ooooh, no way I can finish this. Too rich." As if.
Marika Stanway 7 years ago
"lets order a small dessert for sharing!" also, a former friend of mine.. "can I have a spoonful of your chocolate ganache?" another EX friend..
Judy Semmens 7 years ago
"Let's each order dessert. If you leave any of yours, pass it my way."
#28
Kris Ruddy 7 years ago
Shows you have the cojones to prove you're a human...not a corporate robot.
Kalikima 9 years ago
I've been doing that since I was a kid. I'm really sensitive to the texture of food, if I don't like it I get physically ill... (I took many belt lashings after being forced again and again to "just try it!", followed by almost instantaneous vomiting into my plate. Hell, over 20 times for canned spinach.) The sandwiches I got as a kid were always overdressed and if I scraped it off onto the plate and grandpa saw, I'd have to eat the pile of miracle whip and yellow mustard that was "wasted" but wasnt allowed to put it on anything, so instead of scraping it off, I'd shove my chips in with it, and sometimes my sisters as well, since grandpas wrath never just struck once. She would sneak hers onto my plate if she thought I didn't have enough. I'd eat the vegetables she couldn't stand to eat. My mom would exclaim how canned spinach was her favorite every time it was on the table and eat her entire serving, but I never saw her even once eat it away from my grandpa.
#29
Carly Noelle 9 years ago
Or when you're shopping for fruits and veggies and you cart fills itself up with potato chips and ice cream . . .
Kalikima 9 years ago
Eh... Those huge salads you find in most fast food places are on average just as bad for you as a burger. Yes, the quarter pounder, Big Mac, whopper, etc... usually are fewer calories, fat, sodium, and sugar than the giant salads with 10 toppings and sugar packed dressing. But, if you're going to a fast food place, the salad is still a better option given it has veggies and fruits that won't be on a quarter pounder. You just need to realize that salad is almost (in some places, it's assured) the entire days worth of everything.
#30
M O'Connell 9 years ago
US34 through Monmouth Illinois, smells like glorious bacon, until you realize that it's pig carcasses being rendered down to make bio-diesel.
Marissa Smith 7 years ago
Drive by a Wonder bread factory and you'll feel better about yourself. They smell WONDERFUL!
Judy Semmens 7 years ago
I once tried a "beef flavoured" dog chew. It was completely tasteless.
Susanna Vesna 9 years ago
Call me weird, but i really like the dry dog and cat food. The smell and taste!
#31
Ayana sjoberg 9 years ago
I actually did that once I'm 12 and everyone thought that I was going to say something sweet and then looked at me like they where about to smack me and then they laughed and ten gave me the evil dark look again
#32
#33
#34
#35
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#37
#38
Ayana sjoberg 9 years ago
So true I'm always hungry so for me it's like 98% of the relationship
#39
Georgia Stergiadis 9 years ago
This happens to my mate, every bloody time (minus the crying part). He is a very slow eater
Judy Semmens 7 years ago
It's happened to me a few times, minus the crying part. What I *really* hate is when the person you're with tells you not to make a fuss, says it's nearly empty and tells the waiter to take it.
#41
Final score:
50points
Kalikima 9 years ago
No, no that's not "true history", that's the pro-American, sanitized version. The "real" history shows that even back then, we were complete douches. At one point that first winter, the guy in charge had to post guards, because people kept sneaking off to live with "the savages", who had food and was extremely laid back comparatively
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Jessica Duncan 9 years ago
Pilgrams came to america and accepted food and assistance from the natives. Then thanked them by stealing, raping, and working very hard to wipe them off the face of the earth. Natives were intentionally given blankets covered in small pox, which they had never been exposed to before, in an act of germ warfare.
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#43
#44
#45
#46
#47
Ayana sjoberg 9 years ago
There desserts they are NOT meant to be shared they are meant for me to inhale in less then 5 seconds and you to sit there in silence and watch in horror
#48
#50
Ayana sjoberg 9 years ago
It's laughing because i was stupid enough to eat the whole thing then look at the second size and say oops I'll remember this for the next time we met *not*
#51
Maggie Grover Bacher 9 years ago
our house . . . but there are those of us who don't care so we snatch the pizza anyway.
Ayana sjoberg 9 years ago
I actually do this because when you are expected to share it with 3 other sibling AND yourself pizza goes very very fast because I will have already took it out of the insulater ripped the pizza box out of the deliverers hand and eaten it before my parents can even pay and what I can't finish before my siblings get to it I lick it while there watching waiting for my mom to say "your distcusting"
#52
Jessica Russian Sifontes 9 years ago
You can use it to make a beverage, though. In my country, you take the pineapple peel, boil it for like 10 minutes in 1.5 liters of water, sift it and sweeten it with sugar or splenda if you want to avoid some calories, then put in the fridge. It's very refreshing.
#54
Kahlani Hunt 4 years ago
uhh i sorry to burst you bubble but I freaking love pesi especially diet pep.
#55
#56
#57
Lily Mae Kitty 9 years ago
green taste nothing like red orange or yellow....but they taste like one another.
Judy Semmens 7 years ago
That's because the green ones are unripe, while the red, orange, yellow and purple ones are ripe. :-)
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#58
Final score:
31points
#59
Magnolia Irides 7 years ago
I know that :D I hurry to go to sleep so that you can have full pack of calories in the morning :D
#61
#63
#64
#65
#66
CastoiROBLOX 7 years ago
If you don’t leave them, I won’t eat them (what I tell me older siblings)
#69
Abbie Perkin 9 years ago
Where I live, people quite often say Chip - pottle
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#71
#73
Justyna 9 years ago
this reminds me of one trip to italy when i took a small grater and my own cheese not be disappointed when eating in a hotel restaurant... see, i must have ENOUGH cheese to be satisfied :))
Georgia Stergiadis 9 years ago
You can NEVER have too much parmesan cheese with your pasta. Gosh, now I'm hungry and would like some gnocchi, mushrooms and lots of parmesan!
#75
Beth McFadden 7 years ago
I spent today restructuring the Food Pyramid to meet my dietary needs: Meat, Starch, Dairy, Candy. Ahhh.
#78
#80
Nikita Jagora 9 years ago
You know who's a true unrecognized genius? The guy who invented carrot cake
#81
Final score:
17points
#83
Final score:
15points
#85
Keyra Rodz 9 years ago
I don't consider it littering if it's organic.. Your just feeding the bugs ????
Mitchell Davis 9 years ago
bugs don't eat shells they eat seeds same as you
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#86
Sillyist 7 years ago
It's because people who have been to Europe must answer every question with "I've been to Europe". I think...
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Elizabeth Gruenwald 7 years ago
I get scare and hate when my kids are around ,I make fried potatoes or devil eggs I always think I'm in ww3 !!haha
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