Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
A recent study showed that about nine in ten Americans (88%) see love as the most important reason to get married. And it totally makes sense. With butterflies running errands in your stomach, making this most important decision of your life just feels like the right thing to do.
But as soon as you tie the knot, the game changes, the cards turn, and a new world of married life opens up to you. Both the biggest blessing, and occasionally a solid curse, living in a family unit with your significant other is full of hilarious little moments.
From finding out your husband eats spaghetti with a spoon, to 79% of your marriage being about texting each other the shared passwords, these are some of the brutally honest tweets from people who know it all too well.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Leo Domitrix 5 years ago
My husband cannot look behind the orange juice. It's like some sort of law of physics. He cannot move the OJ to find something else. So I hide chocolate there.
RELATED:
It’s no secret that married life is one heck of a task. Because it’s one thing to meet the love of your life, and another to actually commit to a lifelong healthy relationship.
In a previous interview with Bored Panda, Suzann Pileggi Pawelski and her husband James Pawelski, the authors of "Happy Together: Using the Science of Positive Psychology to Build Love That Lasts," said that one of the biggest challenges that most newlyweds face is how someone can be sure that they're ready for marriage.
Moreover, most newlyweds put all their energy into wedding preparations and totally forget what it’s all about. "A wedding is a magical day, no doubt, and of course something to celebrate, but what about planning for all the days to come in our marriage which is intended to last a lifetime?”
#4
Nicole Tomme 5 years ago
New boredpanda article idea: Questions You Will Regret Asking Your Spouse.
#6
The book authors claim that most newlyweds believe that happily ever after happens naturally, but that’s wrong. “Research shows it’s healthy habits that build long-term love," they said. Without our effort, a successful marriage is hardly possible.
“Popular culture seems to romanticize marriage, making people think that once you get married, you can merely ride off into the sunset together. That’s obviously not the case. It takes work." The couple concluded that healthy relationships take hard work, just like everything that's worth going for in life.
#15
Alexandra Lewis 5 years ago
That is brilliant. Why didn't I think of this? I have to rely on being able to recognise the sound of my partner's car as he pulls into the drive and a speedy reaction with the TV control.
#19
#28
#29
Donny Gerdes 5 years ago
I have a friend that whenever his wife gets mad at him he tightens the jar of pickles as hard as he can to force her to come to him to open it forcing her to speak to him lol married 60 years
#31
Sarah Trachtenberg 5 years ago
Did he lie and say he was cheating on you with a woman to cover up the pizza truth?
#32
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
Now imagine what would have happened if he mentioned that super tan lady they saw walking down the street last week....
#33
Thenatural 5 years ago
This guy posts a lot...about his wife,his kids...and it seems his entire life is played out with a dialogue from a sitcom...seriously..I can almost hear the canned laughter with every tweet!
#36
WillemPenn 5 years ago
Does this include what the other person did in your dreams? Cause last night in my dream my husband went on vacation without me but this morning he refuses to apologize like "I don't even know why you are mad at me!" Oh you know why, Bob. You know why.
#37
David Martin 5 years ago
My girlfriend will randomly return from the gas station with a 32oz soda for me if I haven't gone with her that time. Not every time, like two out of three, so it's a surprise when it happens. It's a small thing, but to me, that's a part of the love language; It says she loves me and was thinking of me
#39
Mark Serbian 5 years ago
You should have claimed it was not intended for him ... THAT gets things moving
#40
Kate Yeti 5 years ago
😆 A few months after moving in to our home, our elderly neighbors were out working in their yard when the wife yelled ""OH, SHOVE IT UP YOUR #$%!" and stomped inside, slamming the door. My husband and I looked at each other lovingly and agreed that we want to be just like them when we grow old.
#42
Borgia 137 5 years ago
Warning: TMI Well, honestly i wear them all year long except for my period(when i use normal pads). Not for urine, but a discharge. I hate it on panties. But that's the price for being "ready" all the time, so i don't. complain.
#50
Harold Summer 5 years ago
This year I thought I remembered before she did and texted her "Happy Anniversary". Only to find out she had emailed me "Happy Anniversary" 30 minutes earlier. So close.
#55
Just JoLynn 5 years ago
This is why I take pictures of items I know my husband won't remember and text them to him.
#56
#58
#60
Mewton’s Third Paw 5 years ago
Lmao!! How is this so low? This is the entire relationship experience.
#61
#68
*sigh*, The Yellow Teletubby 5 years ago (edited)
no her 10 year old child coincidentally has the same name as the baby that she was going to have at her baby shower 10 years ago, and it is completely by coincidence that they would share the same birthday. That baby that she was supposed to have is hidden in the void now. There is no return.
#69
Leo Domitrix 5 years ago
I started asking my husband directly to not leave dirty socks all over the house in 1993. It's 2020. He still does it, then says he "forgot". I had his doctor check his hearing, sense of smell, an deyesight. All good. He just apparently likes the "dirty sock" home decor.
#75
#84
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
They'd be able to find them if they hadn't moved in 68 million years like the triceratops skull. Just stop moving things!!!
#86
Mewton’s Third Paw 5 years ago
This is the number one funny argument I have with my fiancé all the time!! Why are you putting the dishes in that way!? How can he think pots could go on the bottom? Just let me do the dishes then! But no. Even after years, he always did his share of dishes but still puts them in the WRONG WAY!
#91
#101
#102
#103
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago (edited)
Our plates are round, yet somehow I manage to put them with the wrong side up in the dishwasher.
#104
#105
#110
#111
#114
#123
#124
Mark Serbian 5 years ago
Ex-wife did that. Twice. When I complained, she said, "You ALWAYS" say that!"
#125
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
It's a dangerous skill, especially when you do it while she's talking.
#127
#130
#131
#134
#142
#144
#156
#160
Mewton’s Third Paw 5 years ago
Yeah well.. stop watching such complex and complicated stuff! It’s not that serious!
#161
chi-wei shen 5 years ago
I've offered it once and my wife accepted. Then she drove erratic on purpose so I never would do it again. It took her 10 years to confess what she's done.
#162
#168
Annett Nyrud 5 years ago
But normally she is probably thinking economy or compromise (what she thinks the other person(s) would enjoy), and for her birthday she chooses where she would really want to go (within economic reason)...
#169
#173
Mewton’s Third Paw 5 years ago
Sounds more like a sibling. Just whoever is cleaning the bathroom?
#174
Katherine Boag 5 years ago
Learn to do laundry properly jesus christ everything has care instructions on it.
#176
Tiny Dynamine 5 years ago
I see she put the word 'sorry' in there. I guess she's addressing men, right?
Add New Image
What do you think ?
steven 5 years ago
my credo - happy wife, happy life. we've been together 42 years, married 36. Hasn't failed yet
Leo Domitrix 5 years ago
My husband: "What's my cousin's kid's name again? What's my niece's birthday? How many kids does Such&Such friend have?"__________ Me: "They have apps for this now.""_________Hubby: "But it's easier to ask you."
Elsa Cecilio 5 years ago
This makes me miss being married so very much. You are all very lucky! 🥺
Mewton’s Third Paw 5 years ago
Just put the f*****g dishes in right! You do everything else perfectly why is it so hard!? Lol
Kim 5 years ago
These are all dysfunctional relationships. It saddens me that so many lose the love. Look people, it's not normal to be this annoyed with your partner, don't believe this is how marriage is. I could never treat my man this way, I appreciate him for being in my life, and those little things are just part of being human. I firmly believe that when you begin hating your partner's way of just breathing, talking, eating etc. you don't love them anymore.
steven 5 years ago
my credo - happy wife, happy life. we've been together 42 years, married 36. Hasn't failed yet
Leo Domitrix 5 years ago
My husband: "What's my cousin's kid's name again? What's my niece's birthday? How many kids does Such&Such friend have?"__________ Me: "They have apps for this now.""_________Hubby: "But it's easier to ask you."
Elsa Cecilio 5 years ago
This makes me miss being married so very much. You are all very lucky! 🥺
Mewton’s Third Paw 5 years ago
Just put the f*****g dishes in right! You do everything else perfectly why is it so hard!? Lol
Kim 5 years ago
These are all dysfunctional relationships. It saddens me that so many lose the love. Look people, it's not normal to be this annoyed with your partner, don't believe this is how marriage is. I could never treat my man this way, I appreciate him for being in my life, and those little things are just part of being human. I firmly believe that when you begin hating your partner's way of just breathing, talking, eating etc. you don't love them anymore.
You May Like 81 Funny Music Tweets To Get Your Mood In A Flow 50 Jokes About Being Married That Are Funny Even If You're Not 120 Funny Tweets About Dieting To Burn Extra Calories Laughing
Žydrūnė Trukanavičiūtė
Aivaras Kaziukonis
Aivaras Kaziukonis
Related on Bored Panda
