Guy Makes Honest And Funny Charts That Sum Up Our Lives, And Here Are 30 Of The Best Ones (New Pics)

I once had the rudest table. Everyone on phones. No eye contact. Barking orders. Nothing was to their liking. I finally said, “That’s it. I quit.” I had no choice but to come back the next day and guess what? Same table. Then I realized I’m not a waiter. This is my house.

The dark purple one would be the largest part for me (just kidding.... kind of)

Where's the slice that says Even though I'm 41, my mom would kick my butt?

Hopeful. Think actually blue would be the higher haha

I also can't understand why someone would verbally abuse them if their food doesn't taste good. Correct me if I'm wrong, but a waiter's job is to get your order, then bring your food to the table. They didn't cook your food. Sorry your potatoes are too salty, Sheryl, but it's not the waiter's fault.

I once bought an expensive pair of Ray-Bans--paid for them--walked out of the shop--took them off and put them on the roof of my truck (I was looking for something in my purse)--got in the truck--drove off, with my glasses still on the roof--and then ran over them. From start to finish? Probably 3 minutes.

Ah, but this person obviously doesn't live in a place where there are intermittent sun breaks. Here the cycle goes: first hint of spring --> buys cheap sunglasses --> wears them for two days before it starts raining again --> misplaces glasses --> looks for glasses for two days --> gives up and buys new pair in next sun break --> rinse and repeat until October when you start finding all of said sunglasses....

I've never lost or broken cheap sunglasses. I usually end up tossing them once the lenses are scratched to the point of being able to notice the scratches while wearing them. Every expensive pair I've ever had I either lost them or someone decided they wanted them worse than me and stole them.

This one is gold and all too real.

I had my sunglasses for 10+ years … my granddaughter 17 borrowed them …. GONE FOREVER!

also me the whole time: adjusting the angle of my stupid face to look slightly less stupid

Black line: Me trying to keep my five cats from entering the meeting...

Also, thinking of what I'm getting for lunch while staring at my own stupid face.

Yep..

I never look at my face, just the speakers.

"I gotta run, my dog is splitting an atom in my backyard. Yes, I did say my dog, he's very smart and creative even without the opposable thumbs. Of course I've spoken to him, he understands what a nuclear winter is but it still seems to intrigue him."

I wish I could tak but my Harry Potter cardboard cutout got assaulted by the mailman.

I gotta run, my dog crashed my car.

look over there! Joe Biden peed on a little girl's lemonade stand

Look over there! my imaginary girlfriend just peed on a little girls lemonade stand

"# of boxes packed" is entirely too linear. It should look more like the "money spent" line

After moving about 20 times in 25 years I no longer have the capacity to move. Some of those moves were for things like college and what not.

This one sums up moving perfectly. I'd rather slam my dong in a car door repeatedly than have to go through a move. But its a foolproof way to determine who your true friends are. Sucks when you figure out you don't have any.

I'm renovating. It's about the same, including packed boxes lol

We moved 6 times in 8 years...and this is 100% true.

when you want to murder someone, take them on a private boat ride, go into the open ocean, and drop them there. Works best at night when all the deep sea creatures come up to feed and your victim can't be seen

For me it's just the last three pillars, but the last one isn't sounds like a lot of work, it's " cleaning up will be a lot of work "

Why are morals so low!? :(

I have always said that if I snapped and murdered someone no way I'm trying to cover it up. Way to much work and I'm going directly to the police with my statement prewritten and a full confession.All that time with people yelling at me in a tiny room may make me snap and commit another one. I would do well in isolation because I'm not a huge fan of people but couldn't deal with the noise I perceive there to be in jail.

Surprised to see that not having a good hiding place for the body isn't included on this one.