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Look, not everyone wants to spend Friday night partying. Some of us want to roll ourselves into a blanket burrito and watch a movie at home. Alone. And without having to justify ourselves for it.

We're not ungrateful if we want to avoid our friends for a day or two. Nor are we defective if our mind goes blank when we meet new people. We're just (a bit) antisocial.

If you're one of these people (or simply want to understand your introverted friend better), there's an Instagram account dedicated to portraying this life in memes.

It's called FOGO. The acronym stands for The Fear of Going Out, and the one running it says this feeling is completely normal.

More info: Instagram

#1

And This, My Friends, Is How The Irish Exit Was Invented
tc Keanu Reeves

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Buren
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yep. And I am not shy. Or arrogant. Maybe a bit. The point is, it's okay not to talk.

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The term introversion was popularized by Carl Jung and describes an inwards orientation to one's own mental life rather than the outward orientation of extroverts to social life. Introverts gain energy from reflection and lose energy in social gatherings.

However, it's important to point out that most people are neither total introverts nor pure extroverts but display features of both—they are the so-called ambiverts. Almost everyone needs occasional solitude to replenish their energy.

#3

The Two Are Not The Same
@broderickhunter

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Bexxxxx
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is why I hate when people start inviting me somewhere by asking “what are you doing tomorrow?” It’s awkward to say no to their plans when they now know I’m genuinely doing nothing but relaxing.

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Ryan Deschanel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Are you busy? -Yes. I am busy taking the minimum amount of care of myself so I can keep a little bit of what remains of my mental and physical health. Thank you."

camlynn1234 avatar
Miss Frankfurter
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And just because I'm single doesn't mean I don't have a family. It may be a dog/cat/hamster/iguana or a houseplant. I still get to be unavailable.

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Kim Blizzard
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All the points!!! I have one "friend" who will call, and if I don't answer she will text "I just called you". Yes, I know. And I'm not taking calls right now.

anneedwards avatar
Anne Edwards
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If and when you want to respond to her text, you can text "yes and I didn't answer". No explanation of any kind is required.

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Quentin ingulfumble
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Girlfriend: what do you have planned for the weekend? Me: nothing. Girlfriend: great, we can go to the beach and then we can go shopping and then we can..... Me: no. You misunderstand. I dont have nothing to do, i just plan to do nothing!

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Robert Thompson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ture story: I am self employed and I don't work on Sundays. When making an appointment with a perspective client, I specified that "I don't work on Sundays". The perspective client then told me that that works for her and I could come over Sunday. We repeated these exact words 3 times before She realized that "I don't work on Sundays."

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Zoe's Mom
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Your're retired, can you watch my dog/cat/kids"? NO I didn't retire to make life easier for you. I retired to continue living my best life. !

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Miss Frankfurter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And being single doesn't make me more available for extra work because I DONT HAVE A FAMILY. Yes I do, even if it's my cat/dog/hamster/iguana or houseplant. I'm not available.

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Europe is way ahead of the US. In some countries it's even illegal to contact employees on their day off.

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Nikki Sevven
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hear it all the time, "But you don't work!" No I don't, Karen, because I've been disabled for 23 years. My "free time" is spent in abject pain. I'm not over here living it up, ffs.

anneedwards avatar
Anne Edwards
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sorry for your circumstance but you don't need to explain anything. It's time that we all banded together to make it clear that we don't care what you want to do, we don't care that you have an emergency, we don't care that you need, want, must have ....., NO.

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Rosa Leff
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YES! I work for myself and from home. People seem to think that means I can drop everything.

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Anne Edwards
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, you are going to be home anyway so you can easily sign for my seventeen parcels, watch my 4 children and keep an eye out for the garden turf guy.

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Jennifer Norton
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes! when I say I am doing nothing it's because I planned on doing nothing.... not because I have excess time!

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MyOpinionHasBeenServed
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I always ask if someone is free to chat. I never like it when people just call me up and want to probe as to why I'm not in the mood to talk to people.

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Daria B
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even my busy time is not considered sometimes. True story in the subway train, on my way home from work (S. Korea). Random guy hitting on me (don't know where he was from, but he approached me in English, didn't seem like a native speaker and wasn't looking east Asian) keeps missing my uninterested, awkward and tired as hell signals. He even pulled the "I'd like to learn English" card (even though I told him I was no teacher and no native speaker). So I say: "Sorry, I'm too busy for that", his reaction? "I like that" *facepalm*

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Tu Lam
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My free time is for me. To do the things I want in peace and quiet.

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Stannous Flouride
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Free time is something you work for. It's like asking them to spend their paycheck on your rent.

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James Arvidson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a very small window of availability regardless of what my calendar may look like.

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Sith Ramen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i am technically free, but i will be busy contemplating life

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buttonpusher
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When people are like "Why not? You've got nothing else to do anyway". Maybe I WANT to do f**k all.

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Amanda Nolting
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For real. And when I say I don't have any plans, that does not mean I want to make plans.

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But cultures differ in how they value certain personality traits, and America, for example, likes its extroverts. This society rewards assertiveness and encourages people to speak up.

Experts are guessing that the number of introverts as extroverts is the same, but the former is less visible and certainly less noisy so it's easy to think they're the minority.

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Introverts are drained by too much social interaction and are the first to leave a party. Even as children, they usually observe first and act later.

#7

Yes 😭
@deelalz

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Jo Johannsen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I'm ever in one of those horror movie/ thriller situations where my life depends on how quietly I can breath, I'd like donations to charity in lieu of flowers.

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Some research claims that the inherent differences between introverts and extroverts lie within the dopamine system in the brain, which makes pleasurable rewards (including social interaction) more salient to extroverts. This suggests that extroverts may be more likely to experience positive emotions.

Even though introverts are generally likely to report lower levels of happiness than extroverts, this does not mean that they are destined to be miserable. The good news is that a consistent theme in happiness research claims our choices and behaviors (the ones that are in our control and changeable) have significant effects on our well-being.

#10

*promptly Exits*
@showerfeelings

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Kirsten Kerkhof
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Absolutely! It triggers my sarcastic teacher button and prepare to be subtly sabotaged wherever I can do so.

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#11

May You Go To Work Tomorrow With The Confidence Of A 4 Year Old 🙏
@honeymustardmama

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Madison Feehan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is acceptable for adults too. I did this today to someone. I didn't scream it, but still.

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According to Derrick Carpenter, a positive psychology coach at Happify, a helpful tip for those with introverted tendencies is to try to see their whole self. "It’s important to note that the scale on which introversion and extroversion are measured is just that: a scale," Carpenter wrote in VeryWell Mind. "Within each of us lies some tendency to recharge our batteries through social interaction and affiliation with others and another tendency to recharge on our own. Be honest with yourself about what you need in a given moment and allow yourself permission to have it."

In other words, when calling a friend to hang out feels right, make a lunch date. But if you’d rather curl up with a good book, go for it.

#13

I So Wish I Could Do This On Command
twitter / Unburntwitch

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Carpenter also thinks introverted behavior has an upside that often gets overlooked. "Introverts tend to be better problem solvers, perform better academically, exhibit stronger regulation of their behavior, and are less likely to take risks that may cause them harm," he said.

"Research shows that introverts may experience these benefits as a result of having more gray matter in their prefrontal cortex, the area at the front of the brain that controls complex and abstract thinking, emotion regulation, and decision making."

#18

My Ability To Care For Succulents Is Proof That I Should Not Be A Parent
houseplant Addicts Via @thetinderblog

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The Penguin Bandit
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Teenagers are like the moles in your yard and raccoons in your trash can and ants in your kitchen and yeah, I'll just take the plants and pets, thank you.

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Remember that in many classical and theological perspectives on happiness from Aristotle to the Buddha, spending time alone and contemplating the meaning and purpose of our lives is a necessity.

"Learn to embrace your unique introvert qualities and tap into the happiness they bring you, whether that’s teaching yourself something new, exploring nature on a solo trek, or cultivating your creative side," Carpenter said.

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#22

Let’s Circle Back In The New Year
@introvertsquad

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But when you feel like leaving your safe little cave, own it. "Particularly when you are already going to be socializing, act the part of an extrovert," Carpenter suggested.

"This doesn't mean you should be inauthentic. Just bring more of your real self. Be an extroverted introvert. Harness that rich inner world of yours and jump into the conversation more, share your opinion, crack a joke, and take the spotlight every once in a while."

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#27

It Is 6° Out And I’m Going Back To Bed #toodaloo
@stuartfiddle_

LukeRenner , @LukeRenner Report

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Madison Feehan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kind of like the things we all should be doing right now, but here we are reading BoredPanda.

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In fact, studies, where introverts were instructed to act like extroverts in a group of people, showed they ended up experiencing greater positive emotion than introverts acting normally (in fact, they rated their positive emotion higher than the naturally extroverted people, too) and reported feeling more authentic at the moment.

There are plenty of ways to go about it. "If you're not socializing much, encourage yourself to connect with others in the ways that work well for you," the psychology coach said.

"Join a group to take part in an activity you already love, like a choir, book club, or fitness class. Even though initiating these decisions may feel like an extra effort, the payoff should be noticeable. When you realize you acted more extroverted in a way that felt good, keep it up."

Whatever happens in these settings, you will always be able to retreat and find memes to scroll through instead!

#33

#lifegoals

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Madison Feehan
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I aspire to be this much of a character in my senior years.

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#34

*spends 3 Hours On Google Maps Assessing And Memorising Parking Situation*
@ali_jordan1

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The only Plueschopossum
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When it comes to unknown parking situations I'm ALWAYS nervous. Especially in busy inner-city areas. That's why I love my bike...

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#36

*randomly Meows*
(Gierlsquad/ Helenasund)

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September
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Agree. Never appreciate them and also not any good at giving them because I feel like who the f am I to be judging anyone and throwing critiques at them. Always told my immediate supervisors, no praise needed, just throw money

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#39

I’m Just Gna Start Shaving My Head. Can’t Take The Small Talk.
@tacko_belle

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Loty
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I preemptively ask them a broad question like "What's your favorite vacation spot" and then just relax and occasionally mutter "oh nice" and "cool"

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#40

Off You Go
@solomongeorgio

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Peej Maybe
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Early on in the pandemic a woman (typical Karen-ish Anti-Masker) asked me why I moved so far out of her way while walking down the pavement towards her and I said "Oh it has nothing to do with COVID, I would've done it anyway"

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#43

It’s Good To Have Purpose, Y’all
@javrawr

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Madison Feehan
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Now you tell me! It's already the 10th! How can I plan for this without notice???

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#47

I’ve Been Called Worse For Less, Boo. #okaywithbeingselfish
@bonerwizard

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GoddessOfChaos
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You know what is selfish? Bringing children into this mess of a world that we are destroying and doing nothing to help fix it just so they can suffer later on

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#50

*leaps Onto Passing Boat*
@imnotscottyshire

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Madison Feehan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just be a bleached almond like the rest of us, huh? Then people just comment on bare skin exposure instead of bare skin with ink.

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