ADVERTISEMENT

Most parents photograph or film their children growing up, but James Breakwell (previously here and here) has another way of documenting the precious moments he shares with his 4 smart kids. Since April 2016, the comedy writer and family man from Indianapolis uses Twitter to share the daily conversations he has with his daddy's little girls.

With over 1M people following his funny tweets, James claims that his funny kids love the attention. "They like what I do on Twitter mainly because it's all about them," Breakwell told. "On one hand, Twitter makes me a better father because I spend more time with my kids, answering all of their hilariously funny questions. On the other hand, Twitter makes me a much worse father because I only do it to get more material." Scroll down to check out why there's so much buzz around the Breakwells and upvote your favorite tweets, and maybe you'll get some noteworthy parenting advice out of it, too!

More info: ExplodingUnicorn.com | Twitter | Facebook | Instagram

#1

Parenting Tweets

XplodingUnicorn Report

Danielle Becker
Community Member
7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband has been doing the same thing with our 7 year old girl: https://twitter.com/AvaSaysAndDoes

Load More Replies...
Bella Smith
Community Member
7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YES YES YES YES OH THIS IS AWESOME

Sree S
Community Member
7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Xploding with girl power!!! Love your daughters!!

View more comments
RELATED:
    #2

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Mar1a
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dang wellp new strategy

    Sree S
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Smart kids you got there!!

    Stille20
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    New perspectives... that why were need diversity in positions of power.

    pandaes
    BoredPanda Staff
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I bet that's how the dogs started xD

    Jenn Steven
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    haha 8ve done that in d&d before. I was granted one of the pups to raise as my companion

    View more comments
    #3

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Celental Midnight
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yassssss learn about dragons! You go smart girlie!

    Sandra Givens
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, my, this was my husband at that age!

    Mika N
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Gosh guys, wasted all your time on school stuff when you could be learning about dragons!

    View more comments
    #4

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Taryn Wallace
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I want to babysit these little ones they sound amazing

    Rachel Hutton
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Really Paul? You're really gonna #notallmen? Enough men do. Enough men oppress us. And we're tired of it.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #5

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Sree S
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ME NEITHER!! Yet I don't want to fastforward life...

    Kiia Sinkari
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah. Like first you`re in 20`s and then 50`s......

    Load More Replies...
    Candy Goof
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I got 99 problems but the movie ain't one!

    Danish Dynomummy
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This Girl is going to take over the World!

    Banana Chan
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ain’t nobody got time for that xD

    Phoebe Bean
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I could do some fast-forwarding all the way through life...

    Jonathan TARTESSE
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    but there is not happy ending at the end of life :)

    Load More Replies...
    Peter Wallin
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Life seems to be fast forwarding regardless of my desires.

    Lois Pack
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can she hurry up and grow so we can vote her into power.

    Bev Abner
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sos like me! I’ve been known to read the last page of a book to make sure it ends well.

    A.R.
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am beginning to love this kid!

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #6

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Bella Smith
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    omg haha this is so funny!!!! This 4 year old has got their comebacks SORTED

    Kiki
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "You're going to share your birthday presents? You were only born because of me".

    Sree S
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He or she DOES have 4 daughters... still very impressive lawyering!!

    Charlotte Brine
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Where in that post does it state that the mum has 4 children...?

    Load More Replies...
    Matthew A
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel like these were just made up...

    View more comments
    #7

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Learyc L Cope
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OMG I did that at home when i was five, but i did it to a pine tree outside....

    Troy Currie
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Give my wife candy for Mothers day, ask wife for some of her candy, tell her this...wait for response.

    View more comments
    #8

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Sree S
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your daughters are THE SMARTEST KIDS EVER!!

    N S
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OR you are just gullible enough to believe a writer's phantasy

    Load More Replies...
    Phoebe Bean
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, she does. She knows many things, this girl

    varwenea
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Again, Burn! Kelso would be so proud. (Ref: That 70's Show)

    I Love My Dog
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It also best describes what being a parent is like sometimes.

    Matius Henoch
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the sarcasm falls not far from the tree

    Barbara Baxendale
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Very true, podcasts don't understand my accent Durrrrrr

    Benicio del Pilitch
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    she is basically saying you're podcast material ! :D

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #9

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Celental Midnight
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you don't want the 10,000 stuffies let me know! lol

    Patricia Moran
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She knows what has value in your house

    Melinda Virag
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My daughter does the same, slept days with the English dictionary 😂

    Troy Currie
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thought it was freeze dried coffee...give her a couple of years.

    Jacque Place
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's a very precious picture!

    Patricia Ross
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Everyone is hungry when they first wake up. Genius!

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #10

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    cyberdemon0007
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This one's really old...sorry but i doubt it's the original or that the kid said the exact same thing. And now the credibility of the entire post is gone. :( Still a cool post but if one's fake any could be fake.

    Richard
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because a thought has already been thought by somebody else or has been spoken out by somebody else doesn't mean that girl can't have been thinking and saying just the same.

    Load More Replies...
    stellermatt
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    when John Lennon was at school, his teacher asked him what he wanted to be in life, he replied 'happy', his teacher said "I don't think you understand the question", he replied "I don't think you understand life".

    bruce westfall
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My older sister played school with me when she came home. I went into kindergarden knowing how to read, write and do basic math. After less than a week I complained to my mom "That isn't school. All they do is play all day" Sorry, but this seems like a real quote to me. (P.S. The next week i went into 1st grade. Thanks Pam! (my older sister))

    SnowyLynx
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As funny as this is, i would say that to my mom years ago. Still adorable.

    Susan Holloway
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My granddaughters have this same attitude toward school

    Jo Johannsen
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The point is to entertain, not to educate (though that might also happen, never know).

    View more comments
    #11

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Sree S
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I shall use this technic to steal candy from Mum. Wait that won't work... ;-;

    Phoebe Bean
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    and surely you will fall for it

    Learyc L Cope
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this is what i do to get my dad to do things

    SnowyLynx
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just add in an Admiral Ackbar picture and you’re all set

    Harry Plopper
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I use puppy dog eyes. Use em right, they work like a f****n charm.

    #12

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Dahlia Sunshine
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Muahaha! Mah revenge for you is like dis.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #13

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Henry Brennen
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    has she heard of most jobs in the 1800s probably not

    Poor unfortunate soul
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is not true, females are the only ones that bite because they're the only ones who need the blood, that doesn't mean they are the only sex that does anything. Both sexes feed on nectar of flowers, and other things that provide natural sugars. Females drink the blood since they need the protein to develop and support there eggs. So technically, if you want to blame your disgusting itchy lumps, and malaria on someone, it was the females

    Blue Cicada
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Way to be a buzzkill for a youngster's insight.

    Load More Replies...
    Julie Lynn
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The women have a bite when it comes to mosquitos ;)

    Creep Reap
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why u gotta work at all damn skeeters

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #14

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Phoebe Bean
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My kind of hero! Way to go, little girl!

    View more comments
    #15

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Mika N
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Who has time to think about marriage when you can go on an adventure and save the world instead?

    Kawaii Artist
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lord of Rings at 5 years old???? These kids are awesome!

    Pam
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You're doing it right

    View more comments
    #16

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Sree S
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    6 year olds reading Harry Potter?? Crazy smart kids u got there!!

    Alia G.
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But that position is cursed...

    Pam
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    These kids sound cooler than most of my friends

    Ashley Lopez
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    YES YESYESYESYESYESYESYES THIS IS A REAL JOB HARRY POTTER FOR LIFE!!!! <3

    proud slytherin
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You are the best parents my mum won't let me watch saving private ryan even though we watched some in history and I'm not even bothered by people getting shot on a fake film set

    Farah Moloobhai
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Teaching your kids the important things in life... #lovesit.... Whats life without a little bit of Harry Potter anyway...

    Harry Plopper
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    MY LIFE OS COMPLETE. 6 YEAR OLDS MAKING HARRY POTTER REFERENCES. IVE WAITED SO LONG FOR IT. BUT NOW, IVE DONE MY WAITING, 12 YEARS OF IT, IN AZKABAN!!!!!

    Lois Pack
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well we are short of those,

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #17

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    glowworm2
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Doctor cat will see you meow.

    ...
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't know what your condition is... Let me look it up on Mewtube

    Load More Replies...
    Shaqui Le Vesconte
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She must be watching Star Trek Lower Decks! ;-)

    ptm45
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She must have watched Ghibli movies...those movies are great

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Reminds me of something my son said when he was about 5: Son: "I wan't to be a doctor when I grow up. " Me: "What kind of doctor, a family doctor?" Son: 'No, I'll doctor other people, not just my family."

    Pamela Scott
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like they watch Doctor Who

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #18

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Kahlo Smith
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've done this XD Also, when you get the wrong food but can't bring yourself to tell the waiter...

    Bway_Gonnabe11
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    she "pancaked" I'm sorry... I will leave now..

    Brian Leahy
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also, why’d you say “Burma”?

    Laura Martin
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    love them all but this is my favorite!

    Julie Lynn
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know how she feels! I get stage fright ordering at a restaurant too :)

    Mar1a
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This kid is just like me I guess except I'm a f*****g mature adult

    Learyc L Cope
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i do the same thing, also, if i don't like the food, or i need something, i just deal without it because i can't brig myself to tell the waitors

    View more comments
    #19

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Phoebe Bean
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just stared off into space too!

    Sree S
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    MADE YOU LOOK! This made me look up too!

    Load More Replies...
    Daniel Sipes
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *breaks sound barrier**Crocodile Dundee laughs in the distance*

    KismetTheFox
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I spent an hour rescearching that. They will actually respond differently depending on the gender. Females will do anything to protect her child and herself, which I think is cool she protects herself. The male will supposedly try to show off without breaking his legs. I got the male response off of a shady web so look this up for yourself.

    White Wolf
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The kangaroo's gonna stare off into space, like, WTF.

    Çalıkuşu
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/what-happens-kangaroo-tries-jump-7023891

    Mangoes'nRum
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Got their heads in the clouds. That's what happened..

    Carolyn Jurgens
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3qDprRMdI8

    Jo Johannsen
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Houston, thete's an unidentified object, approaching the ISS.

    View more comments
    #20

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Candy Goof
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Think about it like tea or coffee. The longer you boil or brew it, the stronger it becomes. I guess the same is for knowledge! Sorry if that logic made no sense...XD

    Stephanie Williams
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Go out into the savannah, meet a lion and then tell yourself that you are at the top of the food chain.

    Patricia Moran
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m 57 and I’ve done this. I think she’s going to make it.

    Nostalgic Hyena
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sometimes I can't find my phone when I'm holding it..

    Sharon Attwood
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like me...and I’m in my 60’s.

    Emily Hisel
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    also because we use weapons...if we didnt have guns, i doubt we would leave our houses...

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #21

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Maike
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think you created a monster. A cute, clever, honest, tweeting, Monster

    Phoebe Bean
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    (Father time-traveling in his mind trying to envision the teenage years..)

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #22

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Phoebe Bean
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love this 5yr old philosopher!

    Ruth oro
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I damn near peed my pants on this one lmao

    KismetTheFox
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Any other Hamiltrashers thinking of “Stay Alive”?

    Ryan-Michele Eagleton
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamen!!!!!

    Teresa Taylor
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This reminds me of something my friend’s middle girl would say.

    #23

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Ashley Lopez
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    EVERY SINGLE DAY THE BED IS JUST TOO COZY TO LEAVE

    Barbara Baxendale
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good point, mornings do tend to come early !!

    Nostalgic Hyena
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sometimes when I wake up and I'm tired, my mom tells me I should go to bed earlier. I wake up at 6:00 nearly every day, so..

    View more comments
    #24

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Pepper
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They're officially fluent.

    Katie Fallon
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just want to be a fly on the wall of this house.

    JillVille
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ouch! Want some ice for that burn?

    raj
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    :D Smooth AF ., ha ha ha

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #25

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Val
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Glad we aren't the only house with "cheese sprinkles" on the pasta.

    Imperfekt
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My granddaughter called sunny side up eggs Pop eggs. Because you pop the middle. Now they are officially what we order for sunny side up

    Marguerite White
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My son was mailing "Thank you" cards for his graduation gifts. He asked me if we had any mailing stickers! He was 18 at the time!! 🤣

    Jesi Braswell
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My 7 refers to it as 'stinky feet cheese'

    Sadie Shapiro
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My house calls it "purple john cheese"

    Chris Mcclafferty
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Would your kids be so clever if there answers weren't yours

    Lisa Harmon
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My youngest called neopolitan ice cream the "no politician" ice cream. It stuck.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #26

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Rebecca
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No idea why I cracked up at this one.

    Phoenix O'Connor
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    IRS- Wins, Everybody else- Loses every time, I think it's rigged

    Rappenwolf
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tears. Sobbing. "I wanna win!"

    ALIYAH ALLEN
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    especially when money is coming out of your pocket

    Phoebe Bean
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not for the next 18 years, or the rest of your life for that matter...

    #27

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Dan H
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Russian squirrels are tough

    Sivi
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OMg I can imagen her yelling "PUTIN IS GETTING EATEN BY THE SQUIRRELS!!!" and a bunch of confused neighbors.

    Imperfekt
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now the squirrels will be pootin Putin

    View more comments
    #28

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Sree S
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    These genes.. they runs through majority of the human race.

    Phoebe Bean
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can use this line next time I don´t feel like doing much.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #29

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    StarKitten
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was never allowed to watch Game of Thrones and possibly never will be.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #30

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Moo Moo Futch
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A kitten party train? Where can I score a ticket?

    Emily Hisel
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the kittens pushed it over that subtle line... good for her!

    Sarcasticow
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just realized I've so far upvoted each and every tweet :)

    Bernice Wittwer
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Help her write a business plan. It’ll make a great memory for you both when she’s older. You can show her that she’s always been an entrepreneur. lol

    Alex Newell
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Doesn't that sound like an awesome vacation though?

    View more comments
    #31

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #32

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Sharon Attwood
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    PLEASE compile a book and tell me where I can buy it! These are priceless!

    Alia G.
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I won’t bear a*s you if you won’t llama foot me!

    Mark Evans
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't like being bear a*s either.

    View more comments
    #33

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    ariesrunner
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    hahaha this reminds me of when I was in elementary school and my mom told me her pads were sanitary napkins. When the teacher said we needed napkins for an end of the school year party, I brought in pads...

    Sushi Smack
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i mean, what else are purses for?

    Shira Rubock
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do too because then I can bring my own snacks to the movies!

    Phoenix O'Connor
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Indeed, I suppose they do... I'll remember that next time I'm cramming goldfish into my wallet

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #34

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Abby M <3
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    that sounds like me........ *whispers* i've done that before

    no
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i almost die when i HERE the word *whispers* pizza😍

    Emily Hisel
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    do this in front of the wife. I'll leave what happens to your imagination...

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #36

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    justagirl
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hahah your kids are absolutely amazing

    Harry Plopper
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Muggles cannot know about he-who-must-not-be-named. By the way, Rowling? Yeah, still waiting for my invitation to Hogwarts. Ive been waiting.

    Strangepotato
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Perfect timing, I'm reading this on Harry Potter's birthday.

    Ashley Lopez
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    THATS IT YOU HAVE A AMAZING CHILD HARRY POTTER FOREVER

    Sarah Coale
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can I just say that I love your kids!

    Lois Pack
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well. You didn’t did you ?

    #37

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Daniel Sipes
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When your wife is low-key droppin' hints that you're in trouble.

    Phoenix O'Connor
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ouch, somebody forgot to do the laundry huh?

    Matt Leger
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ouch! Ain't it awful when they gang up on you?

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #38

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Luna Matara
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's my reason for not using high-heels in daily life

    Phoebe Bean
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can´t argue with that (me after binge-watching The Walking Dead)

    Lex Sommers
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The ablity to run from zombies is at the top of my list

    Jeff
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That’s why I have 8 swords, 5 fixed blade knives, and countless folders. Plus a forge that I am currently making more in.

    Charlotte Brine
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah I'm not sure his little girl is quite as prepared as that...

    Load More Replies...
    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #39

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Phoebe Bean
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Love how kids are quite creative when trying to find an explanation to what they seem to regard as a mystery

    Maike
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well there you go! We all really are traveling through Time together. She is so extrasmart!

    Sree S
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think so too! But I wish I could control it...

    Anghello Hernandez
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sometimes i just blink then *POOF* welcome to the future

    Peter Cooley
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Spotting super powers early is invaluable.

    #40

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    View more comments
    #41

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Phoebe Bean
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It will be a long-lasting relationship! Love chocolate

    Neb
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think a short one. Chocolate won't live long enough to make to marriage.

    Load More Replies...
    Shiloh X
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don’t fall in love, fall in chocolate Yum.

    Phoenix O'Connor
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That was me back when the world was flat and mom and daddy didn't have a clue.....

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #42

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Tracey Hirt
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When my daughter was three, she complained her bath water was was “too soggy.”

    Aline Bojan
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is EXACTLY why I want to have kids

    Biddie Mutter
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's the temperature that's wrong!

    Jo Johannsen
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A friend doesn't like spaghetti sauce because it's too tomato-y. Go figure.

    Carolene Clarke
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That all right, my son thinks potato is too potatoie

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #43

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Ok Ha-Neul
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    passive aggressive level : GOD

    Phoebe Bean
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Now!" (I think this line was missing)

    Tom Johnson
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The force is strong with this one.

    #44

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Alusair Alustriel
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And we're not showing our 6 year old girl The Goblet of Fire, cause we think it's too scary.

    Esther Kruman
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It really depends on the kid. I would personally say that Wonder Woman is usually fine, especially because it's such an empowering movie for little girls. But I agree that Goblet of Fire is too intense for many kids at that age. It's the first Harry Potter movie to get really dark and sad. (The others have their moments, but in GoF, it gets real.)

    Load More Replies...
    Alex K
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    so, why does she hate boys?

    ...
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have no male siblings either and dislike boys - it's because I had bad experiences when I was younger with them.

    Load More Replies...
    Matthew A
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel like this guy is just some liberal who's faking conversations because there is no way kids at that age are so sarcastic and clever.... and lets be real no girl at that age hates boys that much...

    Michiel nospam
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hope she had appropriate parental guidance; common sense sais 12+

    Stephanie Webb
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me too. Wish that part took place in the White House.

    View more comments
    #45

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Phoebe Bean
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was thinking what that middle name could be... Peppa Pippa Pig... maybe.

    Sree S
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Poop should be the middle name- wait thats a bad word!!

    Load More Replies...
    meerakat5
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Awww I love pigs, and that sassy 5 yr old

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #46

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Maike
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ha! Hahahaha this is a dangerous assumtion. Now she feeds them they will follow her. She is just taking over. Be very frightened! She is raising the resistance. :0)

    Israel Martinez
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My daughter is almost like this ... she will wake up, serve breakfast for her siblings, then she waits for me to wake up so I can server her breakfast ...

    Flisey
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have a 14, a 12 and an 11-year-old. They can't turn the telly on :(

    Liz_RVA
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When mine could feed themselves was the happiest day of my life.

    Dan
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This should be higher!!!

    Merilyn Horton
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Aha! Wait till you can watch her mow the lawn, while you sit drinking a beer !

    Denise Baker
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maike! That is exactly my thought also.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #48

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Phoebe Bean
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And you gave her the key to a better destiny!

    Stephanie Webb
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was about her age when my dad took me to get my own library card. I still remember that very special moment.

    Vlad Horobet
    Community Member
    7 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    You actually have to pay a library fee...

    View more comments
    #49

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    SnowyLynx
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At least she is being healthy

    William Burliss
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I WAS having a bad day 5year old Dad you should build a bridge ME Why. 5year old...so you can get over it....

    Kim Renken
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For all of you that think these stories are fake, I'm pretty sure I only had kids for their entertainment value. I don't know about this guy's kids, but the stuff that came out of my 4 kids' mouths were freaking hilarious!

    Angielow
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At least she thinks its good :/

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #50

    Parenting Tweets

    XplodingUnicorn Report

    Susann Campbell
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Have you tried lucky charms for breakfast ?

    Kim Lorton
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love this girl! Her mom must be amazing too!

    ADVERTISEMENT