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It’s Time For The Best Parenting Tweets Of The Month, And Here Are The Best Ones This February (50 Pics)
It's the first day of March, so you know what that means. Parenting tweets!
Every month, we at Bored Panda round up the funniest things moms and dads have said on Twitter in an attempt to capture the essence of the great and important challenges that are raising a kid.
So give your toddler something to distract them and continue scrolling to check out our best February finds.
If you go through the list and still have a minute or two to spare, fire up our earlier collections here and here.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Nadine Bamberger 3 years ago (edited)
My niece and nephew are perfect little angels when they are their friends place, they only show their true beautiful, screaming and complaining selfsfor family lol.
Vicky Zar 3 years ago
That just shows that they feel comfortable, safe and loved at home. Otherwise they would not show their ugly sides.
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Uber Mensch 3 years ago
I don't remember any rule that says "favorite child" HAS to be yours...
Nick Windsor 2 years ago
LOL. love that, I wish mine would do the same! Thanks Nick (https://40nowwhat.co/)
Joyce mann 3 years ago
When I was teaching nursery school, I had a parent teacher conference and told the parents how good their child was, they got really mad at me, saying I I really should know what child I was talking about. They were so surprised that I was talking about their kid
Downunderdude 3 years ago
lol. I can remember my mum getting angry at me because my friends' mums said I was so polite and well behaved at their house but I was a little s**t at home.
RELATED:
#2
Blackstone 3 years ago
To be fair, my kid's attention span is less than a fruit fly's. And if I pour out all the Lego, someone better play with the Lego.
Celtic Pirate Queen 3 years ago
Hahahaha! That's like realizing you've been watching Sesame Street by yourself for 20 minutes.
There are plenty of ways how kids can put a smile on their parents' faces. Talya Stone, a former public relations specialist turned blogger and the woman behind online journals Motherhood: The Real Deal and 40 Now What, finds humor in her children's actions as well as words.
"They never fail to delight with the hilarious things they say or do, which if we did as adults would probably have us locked away in some sort of facility!" she told Bored Panda.
#3
#4
Milady Blue 3 years ago
You are the victim of the Mother's Curse - "I hope you have kids who are just as ornery as YOU are!"
Samantha Lomb 3 years ago
Oh your mom said that too huh? Mine's other favorite line was "Now I know why some animals eat their young"
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Courtney Lunsford 3 years ago
My sister complains about her child's attitude to me... I just keep telling her it's because they are related.
Nancy Delgado 3 years ago
Oh, my Mother's curse worked wonderfully on my 4 sons...9 grandkids... My boys still curse me bestowing it on them...
A few months ago, young children's ability to laugh and make jokes has been mapped by age for the first time using data from a new study involving nearly 700 children from birth to four years of age.
The findings, discovered by University of Bristol researchers and published in Behavior Research Methods, identify the earliest age humor emerges and how it typically builds in the first years of life.
#5
Two_rolling_black_eyes 3 years ago
Embarrassment is defined as a feeling of self-consciousness, shame, or awkwardness. No one even has to be in the room for a teenager to feel that way. Those new hormones are telling us we need to fix something to be attractive and we haven't learned yet how to recognize cause, effect, and validity. A parent is just the unlucky recipient of this acknowledgement.
Nancy Hunter 3 years ago (edited)
And the winner of the Lifetime Achievement Award 🏆 for, The Most Embarrassing Parent, goes to (drum roll if you will)? The Upside Dad. 👏👏😂😂 If we could give him a Nobel Aware we would. We'll have to write ✍️ in a new category. Bravo 👏, Bravo 👏, Bravo 👏.
Georgia Hebert 3 years ago
You know who else gets paid to work from home? Other people who work from home. Go bother them.
Georgia Hebert 3 years ago
S**t, this was supposed to be under Jassica's message. :(
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DennyS (denzoren) 3 years ago
Ah yes, the elusive sister. A strange mammal indeed. Violent if provoked, it's best to leave it alone until it decides to leave the nest in search of food and snacks.
LONECOOLMAN 3 years ago
NO THE MOST DANGEROUS ANIMALS ARE " OLDER BROTHERS" !!!!! I AM THE YOUNGEST OF 5 BOYS. BELIEVE ME....BEING STUFFED INTO A 2X2X2 TOY BOX IS NO FUN....LOL..
Happi doggi (all pronouns) 3 years ago
MY YOUNGER SISTER CAUSED AN EVACUATION OF HER 2ND GRADE CLASS AND IS NOW “THE VIOLENT KID”
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Researchers from Bristol's School of Education created the 20-question Early Humour Survey (EHS) and asked the parents of 671 children aged 0 to 47 months from the UK, US, Australia, and Canada, to complete it.
The team found the earliest reported age that some children appreciated humor was one month, with an estimated 50% of kids enjoying jokes by two months, and 50% making them by 11 months.
The team also found that once children learned how to actually produce humor, they did quite often, with half of the children having joked in the last three hours.
#7
Kyle Gellner 3 years ago
At age 3, my daughter renamed Graham crackers to Gramma crackers, in honor of my mother. Gramma always had them for her...
Load More Replies... DennyS (denzoren) 3 years ago
"Do we have anything else to eat" goes wayyy into the teens too. Lol
Duane Johnston 3 years ago
At my house kids don't fall down and get hurt, they crash and burn then compare who's was best
Ellen Tannenbaum 3 years ago (edited)
One of my grandkids as a toddler/preschooler always declined a meal (as in, being asked if they wanted breakfast, or lunch, or dinner). But if we asked if they wanted a specific food, or told them specific foods were ready, they happily chowed down. We suspect they thought the meal names were some unrecognized food names instead of just referring to the time of day the food was being served!
MonicaChicagoGal 3 years ago
My kid 3 could not say bananas he called them EYAMAS he's 28 and we still call them EYAMAS and he hates it LOL.
Ramona Ethier 3 years ago
My grandson called granola bars gorilla bars. The guy at Trader Joe's couldn't stop laughing when I translated and gave him a bballoon. It became a regular outing to go to TJ for gorilla bars and a balloon thereafter.
#8
Marcellus II 3 years ago
Upvote for raising a kid with the right priorities like honesty, daddy, and dinosaurs.
Scarlett Fox 3 years ago
When your kid loves someone that died 65 million years ago and not you
Lynne Hammar 3 years ago
I once told my father. "Daddy ... I like Mr. Rogers better than you." And I still do
#9
One-year-olds appreciated several types of humor that involved getting a reaction from others. This included teasing, showing hidden body parts (e.g., taking off clothes), scaring others, and taboo topics (for example, toilet humor). They also found it funny to act like someone or something else (e.g., an animal).
Two-year-olds' humor already reflected language development, including mislabelling, playing with concepts (e.g., "Dogs say moo!"), and nonsense words. Children in this age group also demonstrated a mean streak as they appreciated making fun of others.
#10
Anita Pickle 3 years ago
The house will always be covered in glitter for ever and ever. Even in post apocalyptic times 100's or 1000's of years from now, the ruble with have sparkle.
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Madzdad the Bard 3 years ago (edited)
Glitter is forever. My daughter dropped a jar of glitter and I still see a flake or two every so often. That was 14 years ago. It may follow me to my new house later this year.
L.a. Williams 3 years ago
Mine dumped it on floor and rubbed it in carpet. I think it's still fabulous over 15 years old.
Celtic Pirate Queen 3 years ago
The only new tablet cover my husband could find is "Champagne Glitter". Every time he opens it up I'm right there yelling "FAAAAABUUUULOUSSSSSS!'
#11
Karin Jansen 3 years ago (edited)
"First-time mothers are older in big cities and on the coasts, and younger in rural areas and in the Great Plains and the South. In New York and San Francisco, their average age is 31 and 32. In Todd County, S.D., and Zapata County, Tex., it’s half a generation earlier, at 20 and 21, according to the analysis (...)" Source: NY Times. Damn, that's a big difference!
Anita Pickle 3 years ago
Just a thought, no proof to back it up, but I think it has to do with the cost of living and housing. It seems like in the big cities on the coast, and the suburbs of the big coastal cities, people live at home until late 20's or even early 30's now. Who can afford a one bedroom or studio apartment for over 3k+ a month, let alone a house. Hard to start a family of your own from your childhood bedroom.
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sonofabass 3 years ago
I am from LA and this is not true. Early 20's maybe, but not early 30's - that's quite common.
Amy Taylor 3 years ago
LOL as a new mom at 39 and a native of Los Angeles, this is spot on!! All my mom friends are in my age group and we refer to 30 year olds as "kids"
#12
Kay 3 years ago
Once I heard my sister yell, " we need to put pumpkins on our heads" turns out they were playing Minecraft.
Finally, 3-year-olds were found to play with social rules (e.g., saying naughty words just for the heck of it), and showed the beginnings of understanding tricks and puns.
"Our results highlight that humor is a complex, developing process in the first four years of life," Dr. Elena Hoicka, Associate Professor in Bristol's School of Education and the study's lead author, said. "Given its universality and importance in so many aspects of children’s and adults’ lives, it is important that we develop tools to determine how humor first develops so that we can further understand not only the emergence of humor itself, but how humor may help young children function cognitively, socially, and in terms of mental health."
#13
The Deez 3 years ago
LOL! Had a revelation about a year ago that "OHMYGOSH! I don't have to wait up for my 18-year-old son to come home! I CAN GO TO BED WHENEVER I WANT!!" And sometimes that's 9:30! It's kind of glorious! LOL!
Brobro McDuderson 3 years ago
Samuel L Jackson narrates a great book on YouTube for this topic!
Gary Harkins 3 years ago
OMG this perfectly sums it up right here!! Lol. My favorite is when you do fall asleep and my son keeps shaking me until I wake up and asks me if I'm sleeping!!
#14
shae 3 years ago
The fact that he thinks old school rap will make him the cool dad to kids is the real joke here
Brobro McDuderson 3 years ago
Lol, there is nothing we can do as parents to be cool. We’re just automatically uncool.
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Daniel Marsh 3 years ago (edited)
I'm so proud of my 9-year-old son, who appreciates the classics. By classics, of course, I mean Guns'n'Roses, Pink Floyd, Rolling Stones, the Who, U2... and yes, we've discussed Axl's misogyny, Syd Barrett's mental health and drug addictions, war in Northern Ireland and Nicaragua, the parting on the left vs the parting on the right, why Anastasia screamed in vain...
Solidhog 3 years ago
I went through the top 40 a while ago to see what was suitable to play for children. By the time I deleted all the ones with swear words, inappropriate for children or were depressing I was left with 5 songs!
Valley Girl 3 years ago
This is usually proceeded by the conversation that all new music is trash, and we had real music that meant something back in our day......
Naesil 3 years ago
Im not into rap but still I feel like old school rap actually needed some lyrical talent and the fast words per minute was something most cant do, while modern mumble rap just seems unintelligible nonsense :D and Im not that old.
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#15
Needmorecowbell 3 years ago
My grandparents used the phrase “learn her” instead of “teach her” and it still makes me smile. I remember my grandpa telling me he was going to “learn me” how to read a watch. And he did!
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Notorious DBT 3 years ago
Also... Me: "can you hand me that thing that's on the floor?" My kid: "why? It's yours. You should pick it up." Me: "true but you're closer to the floor than I am."
Yoga Kitty 3 years ago
My father always told me that "I had the younger legs" - True, but I will still have to use them longer...
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yellowphantom 3 years ago
Ah yes, the stage where they insist on helping with everything but are totally incompetent at it and it takes 3 times as long and becomes 4 times as messy. Then, when they finally become competent, they no longer want to help.
#16
Austin Hicks 3 years ago
Parties on your actual birthday should never be a surprise. It's the one day of the year to suspect the possibility of a party.
Skylar Jaxx 3 years ago
My aunt once had me picked out gifts for a surprise party.....for...... ME! LOL
However, as Talya Stone pointed out, there's a difference between laughing with and laughing at your kids.
"If it's the former, then, of course, go for it!" she said. "Younger children generally see laughter as a positive thing and love the attention of getting a laugh. Obviously, this changes as they get older so especially around the pre-teen and teen years when you most certainly wouldn't want to laugh at them unless you'd like a massive strop on your hands. As always, it's about reading the mood and atmosphere and knowing what the age-appropriate response is."
#17
fat and happy 3 years ago
Dude better have a full set of armour and one of those arm lengthening Grabbers
#18
#19
Madzdad the Bard 3 years ago
I used to tell my girls that if I unscrew their belly button, their bottom would fall off. One kept her hands over her belly button to prevent it, the other held her butt with both hands and ran away laughing at me for a week.
Nancy Hunter 3 years ago
I loved it when I taught my girls the quiet game. You know the game right? Who ever stays quiet the longest wins a prize. Sadly neither one ever won the game. 😥😥
#20
Veronica Sjöberg 3 years ago
Ah I've had those discussions a lot. Makes your brain hurt looking for logical connections before you figure it out. And your kid looking at you like you are the dumbest person in the world and don't get even the most obvious things.
Nikki Marshall 3 years ago
I had a cookout with some friends and neighbors and a guy asked if I had "sprinkle cheese" I had no clue what he meant so I said maybe shredded cheese. Yep he wanted shredded cheese. It's been sprinkle cheese ever since lol
Moiya Hackett 3 years ago
You can just imagine the kid in their head just going "I NEED my bat cheese, why doesn't dad get it!!"
Amaranthim Talon 3 years ago
I have tears, I am laughing so hard- all while trying to be quiet about it since am sitting in office at work...
Brobro McDuderson 3 years ago
YES! I bet every parent has had this discussion, for us it became an inside joke and household word. So today I used my “baloo baloo” to send some emails, while sitting at our dining room “tee bow”.
For some parents, however, being around their kids — let alone laughing with them — is still a luxury. According to the Pew Research Center, U.S. fathers today have more opportunities to care for their children than they did a half-century ago, but most (63%) say they spend too little time with their little ones.
Moms, by comparison, still do more of the child care and are more likely than dads to be satisfied with how much they get to be around their kids. Still, it's only about half (53%) that say this.
#21
Babs Beach 3 years ago
A follow up is much needed, I, like a three year old wil be unable to sleep until I find out!
#22
Heath Brooks 3 years ago
As a teen, I am sorry for how most of us are. Some of us have learned to just do it
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Marianne Luginbuhl 3 years ago
When my kids tried this, I always told them I'd be happy to change chore lists with them
Rocky Mom 3 years ago
Nice! Giving another perspective and acknowledging roles. Will try to recall that. Haha.
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Rocky Mom 3 years ago
Man, I want the secret around the attitude of cleaning after oneself or the household in which we are all living in. I guess, teaching respect for oneself and well-being? Idk, but I am not ready to receive an attitude because I asked my daughter to clean up. She does currently throw her trash in thr trash can, when asked. But I am sure the flare will run out. Hahah, she will be 2 in May.
#23
DennyS (denzoren) 3 years ago
Send her for some aloe vera to treat the burn she just delivered.
Mary Freebed Au 3 years ago
"I don't know how to iron those out, and it would cost too much money to go to somebody who does."
#24
Amanda Nolting 3 years ago
I too would enjoy this level of encouragement for every day actions lol.
Kindlovinghumble 3 years ago
This is me when I kneel down and sit with my legs bent on the floor for 15 minutes. I'm in my 30's. -_-
That means moms and dads should make the best of what they have. "I find some of our funniest conversations and moments with my kids happen on the way to and from school, at bedtime, or during dinner time," Talya Stone said.
"It's about carving out extra time. Even if it's only 5 or 10 minutes to connect and have fun. Finding small micro-moments that are achievable is the way forward here. This can be impromptu or be scheduled. You could even create a family ritual for, say, dinner or on Sunday afternoons. And of course, it is amazing how much space you can create for spending quality time with your kids when you cut down on using technology in their presence."
Just don't forget to tweet if there's something hilarious!
#25
GenXandEarnedItAll 3 years ago
And if we can't do that we'll follow behind you and ask you a million questions all at once.
#26
Hana Průšová 3 years ago
First half of your life is ruined by your parents, second one by your kids....
James Nall 3 years ago
As a teen, he would go to parties and/or secretly drink alcohol. As a father, he has to go to the shed to drink away from the eyes of his kids. Same practice, different reasons.
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#27
Jefferson Selvy 3 years ago
Congratulations you've solved the Case of the Country Crock Caper!
#28
Signe Manat Hansen 3 years ago
No wonder she can't find anything if the first thing to go missing are her glasses 😆
Hobby Hopper 3 years ago
I can relate to your daughter. To this day, I still don't understand why anyone would ever want to put something so unfit for consumption as a raw onion in their mouth. Fried onions: fine! Caramelized onions: great! Raw onions: I'm dry heaving just thinking about it.
Billie Rhea Seaton 3 years ago
Don't bow to that foolishness because once you start it never stops. They either eat what's offered or they can go hungry.
#29
Billie Rhea Seaton 3 years ago
Don't start that foolishness and you won't need to worry about it.
The danish woman 3 years ago
We have pink plastic cups and blue plastic cups. My husband, 49 yo, refuse to drink of a pink plastic cup. I blame his mom!
#30
IsABELLA 3 years ago
https://www.etsy.com/listing/960443348/sleeping-baby-sign-shhh-baby-sleeping?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=do+not+knock+sign&ref=sc_gallery-1-1&bes=1&listing_id=960443348&listing_slug=sleeping-baby-sign-shhh-baby-sleeping&plkey=48d82d672cbee9c501d323218e6b5827236e2b0f%3A960443348
Ross Warren 3 years ago
https://www.hatchetsandaxes.com/collections/throwing-axes
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Izzy Curer 3 years ago
When my sister had her baby, I embroidered a pretty floral wall-hanging that said, "Wake the baby and I'll cut you."
Billie Rhea Seaton 3 years ago
Since I am the oldest of 9 kids I learned a valuable lesson about raising children. Immerse your children in everyday noise from the beginning. All of my children could sleep thru anything because I did not coddle them with the silent treatment. Loud music, tvs blaring, vacuum running, normal volume conversations as when I carried them continued when I brought them home from the hospital. Never had a problem with babies easily woken.
chi-wei shen 3 years ago
If that doesn't work then this for sure will: https://www.etsy.com/search?q=hatched
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CharliAnn Olney 3 years ago
Never was excessively quiet when my kids were babies. Now, as grown adults, have slept through Hurricanes, Typhoons and Tornados.
#31
ZAPanda 3 years ago
trick is to persuade them they each have a favourite colour, and then ensure they always get that colour of item.
Load More Replies... Madzdad the Bard 3 years ago
I melted my kid's favorite cup in the dishwasher. I searched online for two days to find a replacement and got the new one thinking I had dodged a bullet. She knew immediately because Elmo's eyes were too dark. Sigh.
Katherine Boag 3 years ago
We just each had a cup that was OURS. Gotta wash it a lot but yeah always make sure you have one of everything PER CHILD
Irishwoman abroad 3 years ago
When you need the skills of a diplomat to sort out who gets to sit up front in the car.. For a 5-minute journey... With 2 over-20 year olds.
Susan Williams 3 years ago
My kids used to count the number of tater tots on the other kid's plate to make sure one wasn't getting more than the other.
MCMLXXIII 3 years ago
I would have one child make their plates and the other two could choose first. This avoided so many fights by forcing them to be fair.
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shae 3 years ago
My brain already does this, it might be fun to have someone else along for the ride. I'll consider your recommendation, sir
hi myself 3 years ago
Me: Is happy My brain: hey you wanna know a depressing fact?
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#33
Lovin' Life 3 years ago
When I was 26 and my daughter was 5, she had old timers day at school. She dressed like me! I could not for the life of me see the humor.
Ellen Tannenbaum 3 years ago
What gets to me are the teachers who dress up for the day in bad gray wigs, no makeup or pale makeup, frumpy dresses with aprons, rolled opaque stockings, with orthopedic shoes, canes or walkers, and post photos saying they are dressed like grandmas. Their actual grandmas meanwhile dress in, at worst, dressy casual coordinated outfits and see a hairstylist every week or so, and probably are still working. Or out playing tennis or golf, no canes or walkers involved.
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Pamda Panda 3 years ago
When I was 26ish, I met the 5 year old grandson of a family friend. 5yo decided we would be friends until I "got old, turned 30, and died." I wanted to ask him how old he thought his dad was.
Two_rolling_black_eyes 3 years ago
Its all relative (sorry for the pun). When you're 30 and they are 6, you're 5 times older than them. Doesn't 150 sound a long time ago versus 30?
Cadena Norton 3 years ago
I'm a goth I dressed my 3 yr old as a vampire for Halloween. Lady asked what she was...she said I'm mommy!!
#35
Nadine Bamberger 3 years ago
Well maybe you do look like a cute purple squirrel, we don't know.
CORBY ATWOOD 3 years ago
Squirrel I thought was some creature from Rick and Morty lol
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Nancy Hunter 3 years ago
Are you Kenny's long lost sister Kelly on South Park? If you are, I'd start looking around at my surroundings a little bit more cautiously and a real close eye on your son.
#36
Raven DeathShade 3 years ago
I called the phlebotomist a vampire yesterday. She seemed amused, but afterwards I was informed by my mother that that's not a compliment to normal people. Oops XD.
Yoga Kitty 3 years ago
I think it is more that she might have heard that joke already 200 times before but it is not bad.
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#37
Amy Taylor 3 years ago
My friend's husband set the bar REALLY high for the other dads when he got her a nice hotel room with room service and a spa for Mother's Day lol another woman must have given him the tip lol
GramDB 3 years ago (edited)
Did that only once … Daddy fell asleep on the sofa … our 3yr. old got hungry and turned on the oven (you had to light it with a match) then spread a pound of bacon on the racks. I got home and the smell of gas knocked me over. I opened all the doors & windows then my husband woke up and started to light a cigarette!! I was mad anyway … I hit him and that match SO hard … they both went flying! That felt SO good! Never happened again!
#38
Concept-Peter Roosdorp 3 years ago
neither of my two cats have ever acted like jerks. They also respect areas where they are not allowed and listen to no. (most of the time anyway. sometimes they hear it and know what they are doing wrong and do it just a little more for the sake of it.)
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François Carré 3 years ago
I think it's more the reverse, police captains acting like angry babies.
Jefferson Selvy 3 years ago
My cats also discovered that my young nieces had a high food quotient
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#39
Ingrid Stevens Falkowski 3 years ago
I don't agree, nobody feels more empowered than a 3 year old with a pair of scissors! :-D
Kristof De Smet 3 years ago
Just wait for the moment you are looking for a roll of tape. Dispair is about to hit you. Hard.
#40
#41
Vetus Vespertilio 3 years ago
Not just parenting time. You simply will not believe how quickly you’re going to be in your 70’s.
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Hugo Santos 3 years ago
The years just fly by, but the end of the day seems like it'll never come...
#42
Ryan Deschanel 3 years ago
Do some people watch the boring parts between the ads? Like, the singers and the weird sport-thingy?
Devil's Advocate 3 years ago
Nobody sane likes American football. Hours long, minutes of actual play
#43
GenXandEarnedItAll 3 years ago
AMEN! Plus if you have kids and try to get them to do your homework it's a nightmare! What should take 15 minutes ends 2 hours later with me in tears.
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Two_rolling_black_eyes 3 years ago (edited)
It should be no more than 10 minutes total (all subjects) per grade. As the ideas become more complex, more time needs to be allowed to process after you've first learned them. Homework should be a refresher of what was learned that day, not a mastery of those new ideas. Few get things right the first couple times so get the brain ready to process the day while you sleep so its ready for tomorrow. I also think it shouldn't be graded past -"did you do it" and the accuracy should be used as guide for future lessons, not as punishment for not having immediate comprehension. If the class is all misunderstanding their "twos" multiplication tables, more time needs to be spent on it before they are finally assessed on the ability.
alfonso 3 years ago
It should be no more than 0 minutes per grade. We give them 7 1/2 hours 5 days a week to teach us and if they can’t teach us EVERYTHING they need to in that time they need to do some serious reevaluations
Load More Replies... Lovin' Life 3 years ago
If adults don't have to bring work home with them, why should children?
CJ Slays🇺🇦 3 years ago
who says adults don't have to bring home work with them?
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Adam Zad 3 years ago
Six-year-olds should have completed their homework long before dinner time.
alfonso 3 years ago
You don’t know how much homework the prisons assign lol
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Wondering Alice 3 years ago
Looking at date, kid might just have homework because his school is in lock down.
#44
VM37 3 years ago
Mine does that with fish. "look mommy, it's a fish. Here are it's eyes, mouth, taill, flins.... It's dead, it can't bite me, or swimm. Let's cook it!
Ryan Deschanel 3 years ago
"Yes, I know that. -Why are you talking to it, then? -I was talking to you. -Oh... Can you start again?"
#45
Kyle Gellner 3 years ago
Stay away from the Thursday prunes - they're the worst!
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#46
Ryan Deschanel 3 years ago
Precision : she did not say "going to Disneyland", she said "Disneyland"... Better start saving.
CelticElff 3 years ago
Are you a computer programmer or a rules lawyer? Even *I* missed that one. Impressed! :)
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Davo gifman 3 years ago
I doubt you make £12000 a year; you probably still live at home with your mom!
ThatsBats 3 years ago
The spam account this comment was referring to has been deleted, don’t kill the messenger. Or downvote it, for that matter.
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lizzie coppock 3 years ago
Hey that's a good way to get someone else's kid to knock it off in public!
alfonso 3 years ago (edited)
Twins?…Or, one could have been born in March and one could have been born in December
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Brobro McDuderson 3 years ago (edited)
Interestingly, more are needing speech therapy due to masking (a family member is a speech therapist) (not an anti-mask comment, cool it lol)
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Cattress511 3 years ago
My 3 year old shouts "come on now!", my new default frustration term since she was repeating the 4 letter ones
ThatOneWriter 3 years ago
My son passed several developmental milestones in quarantine and honestly it's crazy seeing how much it affects him/kids his age.
Ramona Ethier 3 years ago
Our 2 yr old asking if we remember back in the day when he was just a little kid.
#49
Mary Freebed Au 3 years ago
"Yelling those words AT people usually isn't okay. Screaming them into the air is, though."
#50
VM37 3 years ago (edited)
It takes about 2 and a half years or mabye 3 to get them to slep full night. Perfect time to have a other baby...... And we did that again. Why dont parents learn from ther mistakes?!
Signe Manat Hansen 3 years ago
My friend just had her second baby 10 years after the first. That's how long it took her to forget 😆 and now her second one is sleeping through the night at 6 months.
Liz Reece 3 years ago
My daughter absolutely spoiled me as a parent! She slept thru the night practically from day one, she hardly ever cried, was always healthy and ate pretty much any food offered. Her brother was born 2 months before her 3rd birthday and OH MY GOD! He pissed on me before we even left the hospital, didn't stop crying or sleep, like, AT ALL until he was 9 months old, had constant ear infections and colds, would 'bite' when nursing (teething brought breastfeeding to an end!) and as a toddler would absolutely wail if he got dirty... I got my tubes tied when I was 26 when he was like 5.
Susan Faulkner 3 years ago
If you are very lucky, you might get a little sleep before you begin waiting up for them when they start dating!
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The Guy Who Posts 3 years ago
''And I have to take out THE F*CKIN TRASH DAD, THE F*CKING TRASH!''
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The Guy Who Posts 3 years ago
simon: Shows over.
*guy in photo: its ok man, i ate 2 hikers today Screenshot...0a-png.jpg 
Dee 3 years ago
When Simon asked the other dads if they wanted to go on an early hike he figured they would say no so he wouldn’t have to go either, but then they are impressed because they think that he has the discipline to go on early hikes (thus raising his social status).
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GenXandEarnedItAll 3 years ago
When mine asks me to play house with her I basically get to hear a replay of our family arguing.
Yoga Kitty 3 years ago
They forgot they have to groan each time they stand up or stretch a limb...
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The Guy Who Posts 3 years ago
If dads like football, shouldnt they be talking ALL about it? I mean dont just say ''AYO U AINT KNOW< THAT WAS DAYS AGO BOI''
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Katherine Boag 3 years ago
My bananas better be behaving when i get up to have one for breakfast
Thomas Turnbull 3 years ago
We had a comedian in the UK that wore Banana Soes called Billy Connelly
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Candia Lee 3 years ago
The distance from thinking about to doing is often fraught with side paths.
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Raven DeathShade 3 years ago
That's a good book series that your username is from.
Load More Replies... Two_rolling_black_eyes 3 years ago
Secretly people watch winter sports and car racing because we want to see someone get hit by a curling stone or have their car flip 10 times and walk away from it. Either way, its something we can't do and we admire others for taking the risk. We don't want anyone to get hurt but its the chance of someone sliding into the baseboard during a triple Axel that keeps us coming back.
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Nadine Bamberger 3 years ago
My grandma did that when she had to go to the hospital and the staff didn't believe us when we told them about her early stages dementia. She went into every room when the night nurse was busy with an emergency, pulled out all the clothes and everything else she could grab and threw it into a big pile she fell asleep on afterwards. It was especially fun to figure out the numerous dentures correct owners.
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Ethan Lang 3 years ago (edited)
Oh boy, just what I always wanted: Another bot! Gang meet gaxeni5021, The new bot to yell at!
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Glittery Panda 3 years ago
Better than: Oops. Uhhh… mommy. You’ll love ‘em no matter what, right?
Ethan Lang 3 years ago
Why do you want the bots to be real at this point? Kinda weird mate.
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#69
L. Murphy 3 years ago
If you mention a puppy in a post, a pic of puppy MUST be included. This should be declared an internet rule.
Demi Zwaan 3 years ago
They might have if it was real, but it's just an account that posts a lot of jokes, so I doubt he really got a puppy.
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DennyS (denzoren) 3 years ago
My neighbor got his kid a drum set....I am yet to receive compensation.
fat and happy 3 years ago
You have my deepest sympathy for your poor ears
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James Nall 3 years ago
Opinions are like mixtapes: No one wants to hear yours.
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Nadine Bamberger 3 years ago
Favorite thing right after having to put the pre chewed food they offering you in your mouth so they won't get upset.
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KitFrey 3 years ago
Yep can confirm, I did this and have seen others do it
Load More Replies... VM37 3 years ago
Because you have to teach them to put their hand on their mouth when they cough or sneaze.
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Uber Mensch 3 years ago
You need to make up with her, so she doesn't do something like this again!
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Lene 3 years ago
In my house these days when we listen to music on youtube it's either crazy frog, the gummibear song, some weird chicken techno-melody, cotton eye joe or baby shark. So these days I try to minimize the time we're on youtube. I am not fond of the music taste of my 5 year-old and 3 year-old.
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Reviewer UK01 3 years ago
Until you have teenagers with homework and projects and activities and then it feels like you blink and it's midnight
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Maria Nickolova 3 years ago
My son usually does not want to get to the shower and does anything possible to postpone it. And once I get him to the shower and adjust the water temperature to his liking, he does not want to come out of the shower for hours.
ShadowStalker36 3 years ago
i take showers, but they last like 5 minutes, meanwhile my sister can last between 30 minutes and 3hrs in there
Eva Bryson 3 years ago
Shutting off the hot water will get then out of the shower. Or a timer on the pipe.
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Katherine Boag 3 years ago
Back in my day they were called mum jokes cause it was my mum telling them
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VM37 3 years ago
Me: "what do you want for dinner?" Her:"anything." Me:"ok, peas it is." Her: "anything I wolud eat" Me: "ok, pasta then, for the 5th time this week.
Eric Steward 3 years ago
You really should see what happens when the kid gets zero choices. My kids don't buy the groceries.
Alex Foster 3 years ago
My parents never let us make decisions like these. Instead they'd give us vegetable medleys and tell us we could choose one vegetable not to eat. And then they bravely ate them for us. Well. I thought they did. Until I realized that three of the four of us always chose mushrooms. Which my parents quite enjoyed eating.
Lene 3 years ago
Me or my bf before making dinner: so [3 year-old] would you like pasta and meat balls for dinner today? 3 year-old: YES!!!! CAN I HAVE IT NOW???? *30min later* 3 year-old screaming and crying: I want a carrot and I want apple juice. I don't want this food. It's disgusting!!!! (Seems she is going through a vegetarian phase at the moment....).
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CelticElff 3 years ago
Totally counts. But... We Don't Talk About Bruno. (Hey, I can't be the only one suffering this catchy earworm!)
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Chin-sun Ming 3 years ago
Omg I’m the one who does dishes and laundry in the house, I got fed up, split laundry for everyone, if I do dishes don’t disturb or you get a salty b***h
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thEBOrdeSTpaNDA 3 years ago
this-is-a-placeholder-comment-because-I'm-really-tired-of-gaxeni5021
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Raven DeathShade 3 years ago
My mom and I are already planning what kind of grandma she would be. Apparently she's going to spoil my kids and do my chores. Now all I need to do is have kids...
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Ryan Deschanel 3 years ago
Can't you just... Like... Pay the tuition and tell them to f**k off?
Helena Houzarová 3 years ago
Allergy free treats? Are those people not aware of the fact that various people are allergic to various foods?
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Whoopdeedoo 1 year ago
Soggy is for things like bread. Was there bread in her drink. Is she a duck
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Lene 3 years ago
Aaaaah yes. I do this a LOT layely. It's as if my oldest (soon to be 5yo) forgets that at home she doesn't have to scream her lungs out to be heard. She will also scream-sing and pretend to whistle by screaming. So yeah.... I tell her with CAPITAL LETTERS quite a lot lately that she should not be SO LOUD! SHE IS WAKING UP HER YOUNGEST SISTER AND MAKING HER OLDEST SISTER CRY! STOP SCREAMING! I suspect I'll need hearing aid within a decade or so. 😬
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CelticElff 3 years ago
Just wait until they're teenagers. My grocery bill feels like it has doubled. D:
#109
Puck 3 years ago
Is "honor roll" just an expression for kids with high grades or do (US?-)schools really have such a thing? And... is this only for academic achievements or also for children who perform well in other area's (sports, arts, social skills, carpentry etc etc)?
Skylar Jaxx 3 years ago
It's an awarded ceremony at most schools. And yes it mostly deals with grades.
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Deth Invictus 3 years ago
I was always amazed at how they can sleep through a six foot fall. Sometimes I think the safety rails are just for our own peace of mind.
Chin-sun Ming 3 years ago
Omg, I managed to fall through a gap on my bed where my safety rails weren’t, and I face planted tripping over nothing, yet I still get good grades, am I a clutz, even though I’ve never broken anything, or just extremely stupid I’m smart?
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Whoopdeedoo 1 year ago
I really hope the hair removal thing isn't true (though it probably is, I'm a girl still in junior high) 😖
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Valley Girl 3 years ago
The problem with this situation is that sometimes babies are habitual liars. Mommy's gonna go take a nap.
Laci Fuller 3 years ago
Really just the money and convince? What about that kids father figure? What about the memories that little boy or girl could have made with their dad? Dude dads are so important, plus they love and help and support their wives. They dont just work for the money. Trust me if I didn't have my dad I would be in a dark place, so watch your mouth. I would defiantly recommend you guys dont have kids if that is your way of thinking.
R F. 3 years ago
Can anyone find it? Have YOU seen it? It’s gotta be around here somewhere. Everyone watch where they are stepping, you don’t want miss the point.
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GenXandEarnedItAll 3 years ago
The "walk of shame" is now running into the school office in your pajamas to sign your child in because they missed the bus.
Kimi Tomminello 3 years ago
This plus your sn tells me we have a lot in common 🤣🤣
Load More Replies... Ryan Deschanel 3 years ago
After kids : daydreaming about a glorified past that actually never happened.
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Candia Lee 3 years ago
A. It's a joke. B. Candy is really bad for small kids.
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Ryan Deschanel 3 years ago
The worst part at sucking at stuff is people will remind you how much you suck at said stuff.
Candia Lee 3 years ago
My toaster was like that - either barely warm or too dark. My toaster oven does a better job, tho it only has 4 settings, 1 or 2 usually does it.
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Ryan Deschanel 3 years ago (edited)
A kindergartner? A three page writing assignment? Hmmm... It seems as believable as the exploding unicorn's stories.
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What do you think ?
Summer Mason 3 years ago
Me: do your chores 8:I have to pee 1st. After an hour I realize we both forgot she had to do her chores. Distraction level 💯
alfonso 3 years ago (edited)
Did you BOTH forget, or no? Your daughter/son is going to be a master illusionist
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Helena R 3 years ago
Somehow 4&5 yr olds have trained 2yr to bring them drinks and snacks. Should I be amazed or worried
Raven DeathShade 3 years ago
As a 17 year old who has trained the 6, 4, and 2 year old to do things, you should be amazed.
Load More Replies... Solidhog 3 years ago (edited)
I have found one a few problems with being a parent. 1) You can't send them back and get a refund. 2) Ebay has a stupid rule about not putting children on there!
An Unpopular Opinion. 3 years ago
Meanwhile, my little siblings just now: Brother, 8: MMMMM SO Good Me asking why he's only just realizing it's good, he's halfway through his sandwich Sister, 10: He's practicing for his orange marmalade commercial.
Katherine Boag 3 years ago
Sorry if it got a bit spammy, covering up the actual spam on a lot of the lower rated posts
An Unpopular Opinion. 3 years ago
Kids are amazing/funny/weird little people, which is why I would like kids, just the world we live in... I don't want to introduce someone into this hell
alfonso 3 years ago
I hate it when they are called “little people”. We don’t call black people “burnt people” or old people “angel people” so why is it ok to call kids “little people”?
Load More Replies... 
Summer Mason 3 years ago
Me: do your chores 8:I have to pee 1st. After an hour I realize we both forgot she had to do her chores. Distraction level 💯
alfonso 3 years ago (edited)
Did you BOTH forget, or no? Your daughter/son is going to be a master illusionist
Load More Replies... Helena R 3 years ago
Somehow 4&5 yr olds have trained 2yr to bring them drinks and snacks. Should I be amazed or worried
Raven DeathShade 3 years ago
As a 17 year old who has trained the 6, 4, and 2 year old to do things, you should be amazed.
Load More Replies... Solidhog 3 years ago (edited)
I have found one a few problems with being a parent. 1) You can't send them back and get a refund. 2) Ebay has a stupid rule about not putting children on there!
An Unpopular Opinion. 3 years ago
Meanwhile, my little siblings just now: Brother, 8: MMMMM SO Good Me asking why he's only just realizing it's good, he's halfway through his sandwich Sister, 10: He's practicing for his orange marmalade commercial.
Katherine Boag 3 years ago
Sorry if it got a bit spammy, covering up the actual spam on a lot of the lower rated posts
An Unpopular Opinion. 3 years ago
Kids are amazing/funny/weird little people, which is why I would like kids, just the world we live in... I don't want to introduce someone into this hell
alfonso 3 years ago
I hate it when they are called “little people”. We don’t call black people “burnt people” or old people “angel people” so why is it ok to call kids “little people”?
Load More Replies... You May Like 50 Times Parents Sent The Most Unhinged Text Messages To Their Kids 102 Unique Baby Names That Went Viral 81 Funny Music Tweets To Get Your Mood In A Flow
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