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Teacher Collects All The Weird And Funny Things That Kids Say When Their Parents Aren’t Around (40 Pics)
You've heard it once if you've heard it a thousand times before: kids say the darndest things. We've always loved the frank, honest and unadulterated way that little humans choose to express themselves - they see things from a different perspective to us grownups whose thoughts have been shaped and molded by the world around us.
NYC school teacher Alyssa Cowit was so fascinated by the questions and comments from her Kindergarteners that she decided to start an Instagram account, called Live from Snack Time, to chronicle them. According to their bio, Alyssa "believes children are honest and curious, and while often perplexed, they’re brilliant – and that it’s a teacher’s job to take what children say seriously."
She wants to help adults to understand that children are not always acting outrageously to seek attention, but instead thinking out loud, soaking up new information, and solving problems 24/7.
Since starting the page in 2015 together with Greg Dunbar, a digital marketing manager with Walt Disney Studios, they have since grown to almost 100K followers, and even have a book! It's called 'I Did My Homework in My Head: (And Other Wacky Things Kids Say)' and is full of "Irresistible quotes from the elementary school classroom that prove kids really do say the darndest things--and even more so when their parents aren't around!"
What do you think? What's the funniest, truest or most profound thing you've ever heard a child say? Scroll down to check out our faves from the page for yourself, and let us know what you think in the comments!
More info: Instagram | Website
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
OhForSmegSake 6 years ago
Hats off to mum and dad for this one as kids of this age usually get their opinions from the people raising them.
RELATED:
#2
Kimlan Lau 6 years ago
THIS is a great idea! Come on adults why haven't we thought of this before????!!!!
#3
Ankita Pattanayak 6 years ago
This kid knows what a marine biologist does and wants to be close to his\her brother showing knowledge, imagination, innocence and love. What more do you want from the kid ?
Faith Nicole 6 years ago
Wait until your about 11/12yrs old and see if you still want to be a dolphin...or if it changed to wanting to be a shark so you can terrorize him
D. Pitbull 6 years ago
I'm pretty sure if this was my sibling he would have stated wanting to be Moby D**k so he could attack and murder me.
#4
Elizabeth Shank 6 years ago
My name is Elizabeth and my best friend growing up called me Lizard and I loved it! I still love it! It's nice to know there's another Lizard out there!!
Michelle Muirhead 6 years ago
I can just visualise her tongue flicking in and out as it wipes her eyes:)
Marky Mark And The Funky Bunch 6 years ago
I had a friend in university who insisted Luci was short for Lucifer.
#5
Lauren Baker 6 years ago
Mother, I would like to inform you that though your argument does appeal the Pathos, there are SEVERAL logical fallacies.
Rebecah Ozuna 6 years ago
I learned from total random strangers... and won many times too. My words were their knives because truth hurts like a dagger through the heart.
#6
Abigail Shackleton 6 years ago
My 5 year old granddaughter asked me "why don't you have any kids?". I told her "I'm your mom' and your Uncle Ryans mom!" She gasped and looked completely shocked!
Marlene Ricker 6 years ago
My great-grandchildren are currently learning about the relationships in our family. They were thrilled to find out that I had a name other than Grandma. I'm the lucky one as I have many names that they call me. I am Grandma, Great Grandma, Grandma Marlene and the big one Great Grandma Marlene! I'm just so lucky!
Ann Abdelzaher 6 years ago
ROFLMAO remind me of my niece at the same age.. came up to me and go Aunt Annie did you know you and my Mommy are Sisters and grandpa is your daddy? LOL we kept waiting for her to discover her uncle was our brother :D
#7
Monika Soffronow 6 years ago
"συν Aθηνά και χείρα κίνει" (syn athiná kai cheíra kínei) is what the ancient Greeks said. This means something like "Besides relying on help from the goddess Athena, you have to do things by your own hands too", or: Heaven helps those who help themselves. Athena is the Greek goddess of wisdom and strategy. She is one of the Twelve Olympians. (Now, never ever trust Google translate! It says that this means "plus Athena and hand she does"... So bad it hurts!)
AQUINNAH POLOZOLA 6 years ago
me: do you have any advice on how to live life? anonymous: dont die
Marlene Ricker 6 years ago
Wise beyond his years! I know a lot of adults who haven't yet figured this out.
#8
Autumn Walton 6 years ago
this is great. for some reason your reminding me of a ptato. and this post about a dog zues with a potato
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#9
SykesDaMan 6 years ago
It's adorable and the use of proper English makes it even more adorable! :)
Carole Reid 6 years ago
We all have happy and sad. He/she is off to a good start with more happy. I hope it's always this way for them.
#10
Bobby Sammons 6 years ago
Just think how disappointed they will be when they find out about pie charts.
Karen Klinck 6 years ago
I sincerely doubt that. The phrase is too deeply rooted in our culture. How many people use something like 'hitch your wagon to a star' and really think about hitching a wagon to anything--and we still have horses and buggies.
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#11
ShyFox Studios 4 years ago
Why not tell this to my parents? They'll just say you should be found doing the right thing when the world ends, meaning eating the healthier option first.
#12
Karen Klinck 6 years ago
And I'm sure it was delivered in this serious, sad, solemn voice, too. It is, after all, a serious life decision with an insurmountable choice. I don't think men are kindergarden teachers. At least, I've never heard of one in that field.
Load More Replies... Harley Hans Hoglin 5 years ago
Well in Texas they are all miss. Drove me nuts when I first started school here. In Michigan they were Mrs. if married, and Miss if single. Didn't matter here in Texas they all are miss.
#13
Ankita Pattanayak 6 years ago
The whole world is a family!! Kid understood that at age 6. You go kid!!
Karen Klinck 6 years ago
The concrete Christians would hate that. This is a smart little cookie. Hope future cynicism doesn't knock it out of her/him.
#14
Sergio Bicerra Descalzi 6 years ago
I will have to disagree, mine is lemon pie.But ice cream is nice too!
#15
Barbara Vandewalle 6 years ago
My daughter did not want to do a chore so she sent herself to her room! Something wrong here.
AQUINNAH POLOZOLA 6 years ago
you can take a vacation.... she knows how to be a mom
Load More Replies... Pretty Pangolin 6 years ago
I was wondering just yesterday - who thinks suspension is a punishment? You don't have to go to classes, and you just hang out in your dorm room all day.
Chris Jones 6 years ago
Detention where you could read your book???? Not in the school I went to. ☹
AQUINNAH POLOZOLA 6 years ago
this 10 year old is a homosapian P.S. if you dont know what that is and then google it, dont reply negatively
Sarah Storm 6 years ago
MEEEEE!! I've legit asked a teacher if I could sit in the room during detention so I could read my book and work on homework. She said I had to do something bad.
#16
Elizabeth Rolando 6 years ago
That would make me use the tissue to start the fire to burn the house down because that home is obviously housing spiders capable of independent thought and is no longer habitable. Excuse me while I scream now.
anotherboredpanda 6 years ago
Are you alright or should I call the doctors with the love-me-jackets? XD
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#17
Aisha La Gatta Pelirroja 6 years ago
It's a relief that I'm not the only one. 😁
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John Laurens/Gay Turtle 6 years ago
upvote for "The Office" reference... and because Kelly XDD
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Šimon Špaček 6 years ago
"Your mind is on vacation and your mouth is working overtime" [Mose Alison]
#18
Anna Repp 6 years ago
Cat, I'm home! Daughter, I'm home! (Mom, who cares!)
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Hard 2 Guess 6 years ago
lol yes it does seem like its a punch line of a Dad joke.
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AutumnthePokemonChamp 5 years ago
Skitty I'm home Game Boy Advance, I'm home YouTube I'm home PJs I'm home
#19
Carol Emory 6 years ago
This should be on a bumper sticker. I would buy this if it were on a bumper sticker. It would go right next to my other one that says "Horn broken. Watch for finger."
Samuel Johnston 6 years ago
😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈
#21
Jo-Ann Tipple 6 years ago
Which is why you rarely can find a doctor that month. Read the book "August."
#22
Gregg V 6 years ago
Spoken like a future elite. In 20 years, he'll say "Did you go to Harvard like me? Because your acting like you haven't."
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Analyn Lahr 6 years ago
Brilliant! Because in kindergarten (especially if you haven't been to preschool or daycare) you're supposed to learn how to share and be nice to people not related to you.
ROSSELAIRA EUGENIE CRUZ 6 years ago
OHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! YOU JUST GOT WRECKED!!!!!!!! SAVAAAGE!!!!!!!
Karen Klinck 6 years ago
Master put-down. Or was he talking to tRump? Maybe they should ask that at the hearings.
#24
Gregg V 6 years ago
You didn't read his next line "You cut me, you smother me and you crush me. I'm calling Child Services!" ;-)
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Shilo Sulda 6 years ago
Hallmark cards needs to find this kid to write their cards in the future
#25
Desiré Yen 6 years ago
Opposite for me, my husband's the neat freak and I'm the one that says where did I put my glasses? 😂
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John Greene 6 years ago
It always makes me sad for children of families that don’t work together, and sadder still when the vast majority agree that they too suffer an imbalance in their own home and family.
Chris Jones 6 years ago
Yes! Though being brutally honest I don't know any other type. One half of the couple is usually puling more weight than the other. Not always the woman either.
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Effseven Six 6 years ago
This made me think of the time I told my mom " when I grow up and get married, I'm living by myself!"
Karen Klinck 6 years ago
Bingo! Old feminist saying: a man can be replaced by a lawnmower and a vibrator. And some added, Neither of which works.
#26
Foxxy’s #1 fan 6 years ago
Stuff the hangry, it should forever be “I am moody when I need foody”. Good one kid
Alex Newell 6 years ago
I see Foxxy here so much, now I'm even seeing their fans.
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#28
Nakedhampster 6 years ago
Karate is the art of folding clothes while people are still in them. Yoga is the art of folding your clothes while you are still in them.
Karen Klinck 6 years ago
The movements are very similiar. Notice please that both come from the Orient.
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La Petite Morte 6 years ago
Agreed. Put a sword in each hand and speed it up... terrifying and beautiful.
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#29
Luisa Vasconcelos 6 years ago
Poor baby. Having such a good understanding of such a hard and heavy feeling.
Malia Jeffers 6 years ago
Is this the kid who got left by his wife who married another girl because he didn’t share his snack? Lol.
Moriah Wood 2 years ago
That is actually very accurate! I might need to hire this kid as my therapist! ❤️
#31
Baby Clanger 6 years ago
Next time anyone asked me what I have planned for the weekend .... this is it!
#32
glowworm2 6 years ago
I now want to hear an adult attempt to say that to their boss with a straight face when explaining why they can't come into work today.
MN Free Spirit 6 years ago
yeah Im not feeling feeling very worky either ,so I'll scroll BP
Load More Replies... Michelle Muirhead 6 years ago
Yep me too especially since I am retired! brilliant I can sleep in with no guilt:)
Nia Loves Art 6 years ago
I can’t wait to reach that age. No work and no periods.
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#33
Carole Reid 6 years ago
I remember seeing my first microwave oven demo at a kitchen of the future demo at the California state fair back in the mid 50s. Who knew?
#34
ELIZABETH A HIGBIE 6 years ago
Dave Chappel would never have guessed how often adults and kids alike use his analogy.
Load More Replies... Luisa Vasconcelos 6 years ago
Now I know how to explain to my kid why people married people from the same sex. Besides love is love, of course.
anotherboredpanda 6 years ago
Would it really be so odd if they were two different kids?
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#35
varwenea 6 years ago
I sort of did. Took the ring, engaged, never married, living together for 30 years, he fixes things, takes me on dates, and buys me presents. The courtship never ended. 👍
Brivid 6 years ago
Unless your state/country has common law marriages, you need to find out what will legally happen if he passes away before you. For example, will his next of kin (like a sibling) inherent all of his things and kick you out of the house? Protect yourself.
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#36
Phil Boswell 6 years ago
Wait until you read about Dumbledore, he says things like this all the time <3
#37
#38
Willem Groenewald 6 years ago
When I started dating a girl it came to a point where she was frank. Are we dating or just friends. I told her I had enough friends. We are married now :)
#39
UglyMug 6 years ago
Never been caught smoking marinara, but I definitely have been caught smoking alfredo
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Ashley Galyen 6 years ago
Sorry, I'm envisioning highschool aged brother and aspiring gourmand using dad's smoker to on tomatoes make tasty Marinara right now! Sadly the house got all smokey.
Satirical Duchess 6 years ago
The other day, I was smoking some thousand island dressing. My mum wasn't impressed..
#40
Luisa Vasconcelos 6 years ago
I wish to have my time outs back. Go to your room and stay there all day, just want you put to use the toilet. Oooh good old days
#41
#42
Incognito 6 years ago (edited)
I used to write horror stories where all the people I hate die a brutal death. Now I don't hate them as much because they gave me candy after reading those horror stories.
Pretty Pangolin 6 years ago
I just finished my first short story in about 25 years and I had such a hard time with the part where one couple dies, because I'm so fond of them! So I had the narrator say "This is hard to talk about..."
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#44
Chris Jones 6 years ago
At least the child knew it was wrong. My sister caused my nephew problems by swearing in front of him all the time.
Load More Replies... #45
Everybody Say love! 6 years ago
Because home is the last place that i'd stand to be with anyone but you - Amigo the Devil
#46
White Raven 6 years ago
I used to think about death and what would happen if the earth was no longer around as a child..
Nia Loves Art 6 years ago
I was worried about a meteor hitting the earth and wiping us out like the dinosaurs.
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#51
Foxxy’s #1 fan 6 years ago (edited)
What about a vest? Humphrey B Bear looked snazzy in his vest.
#53
#54
fainasKeturatis 6 years ago (edited)
a fine little woman, we got there. Maybe a little depressed.
#55
Kristy P 6 years ago
I've never noticed that metrosexuals (is that even still a thing?) cry a lot. Are you thinking of emo kids?
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#57
Foxxy’s #1 fan 6 years ago
What an unusual thing to be scared of but hey I was terrified of my Dad’s Akubra sitting on top of his bedside lamp.
Kristy P 6 years ago
I used to be afraid that while I slept, the floor would cave in and I would fall to the first floor. Kids are weird.
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#59
Analyn Lahr 6 years ago
Right? Grown-ups don't understand that drama that goes on in elementary school. I'm a legal adult, not a grown-up.
#60
Ankita Pattanayak 6 years ago
Well it is believed currently that reptiles evolved from walking fish and birds evolved from flying reptiles(dinosaurs)..So birds would then be flying(walking fish)...
#61
Kassandra Morris 6 years ago
Sometimes and when I'm really lucky, its my kids' teachers, then things get awkward (I'm a bartender)
#63
Pretty Pangolin 6 years ago
I learned that being nice won't protect me. So now I try to be nice anyway to make other people's day easier.
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#64
Foxxy’s #1 fan 6 years ago (edited)
So true BUT Hermoine would have been killed by the troll if Harry and Ron didn’t help. They all played a vital role and saved each other many times.
tuzdayschild 6 years ago (edited)
They all saved each other multiple times. I wouldn't send my dog to Hogwarts, the place is dangerous.
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Toni Carroll 6 years ago
A big message of the series is that we all need each other to survive.
Satirical Duchess 6 years ago
No but that's true because Harry was a thick reckless 'flawless' strange person
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tuzdayschild 6 years ago
Little Mermaid - I want to be where the pizzas are. Up where they're sliced. Into eight parts. Love pepperoni with all my heart.
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MN Free Spirit 6 years ago
Nothing, I work in an upper middle class school and you would be surprised the stuff that comes out students mouths. They know and see more than we think, its called too much SCREEN TIME!
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Pretty Pangolin 6 years ago
"If you don't have anything nice to say...come sit next to me." - Dorothy Parker
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Luisa Vasconcelos 6 years ago
Aller Jesus as a allergy to Jesus ? I don't get this. Can someone please explain?
Foxxy’s #1 fan 6 years ago
I think he just means allergies but thinks it is said aller-Jesus because people say bless you.
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Luisa Vasconcelos 6 years ago
All kids with special needs should hear this once in their life.
#102
Lukyan Terdal 6 years ago
If you can hear this, chances are you've made a very bad career choice
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Pretty Pangolin 6 years ago
LOL, I was commenting on some fashion photo and all I could come up with was 'little pants'.
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Pretty Pangolin 6 years ago
Yes, but I think boys know it and girls need to be reminded.
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What do you think ?
AnalinaBabee18 6 years ago (edited)
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MN Free Spirit 6 years ago
Literally had one of my students comment the following about 5 minutes ago. I said "What are you doing this weekend?" the reply "I don't know but Im know Im having root beer, my mom got like a gallon of root beer and said its for the weekend" and he promptly walked away
Marti Gerhardt 6 years ago
"out of the mouths of babes", nuggets of wisdom. Only a glimpse of thier world and how they see it. We will never be there again.
AnalinaBabee18 6 years ago (edited)
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Load More Replies... MN Free Spirit 6 years ago
Literally had one of my students comment the following about 5 minutes ago. I said "What are you doing this weekend?" the reply "I don't know but Im know Im having root beer, my mom got like a gallon of root beer and said its for the weekend" and he promptly walked away
Marti Gerhardt 6 years ago
"out of the mouths of babes", nuggets of wisdom. Only a glimpse of thier world and how they see it. We will never be there again.
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