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In life (or on the internet), you're always just a few steps (or clicks) away from something sinister. But some people are clueless to all the twisted and obscene things even after they pop up right in front of their eyes. Bored Panda has collected some of the funniest examples of innocent minds really not getting what they're looking at and it will make you feel rotten.
From a girl thinking nail marks on her BF's back belong to a random attacker to someone mistaking a vagina costume with a slice of bacon, these guilt-free souls are about to realize reality is not all sunshine and rainbows. Some of these statements may have been crafted to look so damn innocent on purpose, while others seem genuine, but all of them highlight that the internet is not the right place for the rose-colored. Scroll down to check out these funny misunderstandings and feel free to upvote your favorites.
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#1
DopethronePunkUK 8 years ago
Yeah asking a 13yr old to come up with sex scenes is not that cool and kind of creepy and f****d up.
Samantha Wurm 8 years ago
I wasn't aware that lemons meant "that" 37 years old and I'm still naive however lol
Red Ruffensor 8 years ago
I didn't know that's called a lemon. So that's why it's called lemonparty dot org. If you know what's good for you, you won't go there. I really mean it; you have been warned.
Benj 8 years ago
Who even knows this term though? i feel like this is popular only with the kids...
Huong Linh Vu 8 years ago
if you read a lot of fanfiction, you will know these kinds of terms.
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#2
Benj 8 years ago
I used to think it meant homo-sapien, and I used to think "Aren't we ALL??!!"
Kira Thesloth 8 years ago
Me too. 😂 i remember getting called a lesbian (in later high school years) because I only had one friend. The only reason it offended me was because I'd never have sex with that good of a friend. Other than that I had no clue that it was supposed to be an insult.
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Melissa Nunya 8 years ago
I asked my dad what a "homo" was and he told me it was short for homogenized milk lmao I was a gullible kid
Heather Johnson 8 years ago
I was a gullible child also! My dad got me all the time!
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Milda Mockūnaitė 8 years ago
Even if you knew that meaning, still it would be a perfect answer :DDDDDD
SouthParkFan1 8 years ago
This is can be seen in two ways. The way the kid saw it, and the way Jeremy probably saw it.
#3
#4
*Inserts Username* 3 years ago
I have neve understood the meaning of summer child. like, what are the orgins? anyone know?
#5
Ok Ha-Neul 8 years ago
i know how alarming it is to look down and see blood but it could be worse i could look down and see no blood i'm not ready for kids
Vanessa Ying 8 years ago
Well, he IS a pretty popular Youtuber. Plus his fan girls are legion.
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Bec Snyder 8 years ago
A redneck friend of mine once said, "Anything that bleeds for 5 days, and don't die, just ain't right!"
Adogcalledkitty 8 years ago
The main question is, why is it important for him that the whole world knows about a nosebleed? Aren't any other things happening to him?
Jessica Tischer 8 years ago
It's twitter, the whole point of the format is sharing little tidbits of information the came to your mind suddenly. And don't really warrant a more elaborate post. Like stuff written on toilet walls, you know.
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#6
Melody Lanzatella 8 years ago
Your comment is funnier than the post! LMAO!
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NJ Dacocodia 8 years ago
Both gay adult performers...Austin Wolf is like 6ft 4 and Armond Rizzo is 4ft 9 0r 11. Let your dirty minds soar free
adoracat 8 years ago
Mmkay, now I'm thinking which one tops... I can gutterdive with the best of them!
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Bobbi Newell 8 years ago
I find it so funny that a hamster discussion hijacked this pic/thread! But ok...I don't know if hamsters normally eat bananas, maybe the human was eating it, and hamster went NOM. Kinda like when my cat drinks from my glass of iced tea!
Echo 8 years ago
Hamsters will put anything in their mouths. They don't always eat what they store.
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Nancy Massi 8 years ago
Okay what's wrong with feeding a banana to a hamster? And what are those guys wearing?
Marcin Barczyński 8 years ago
Tactical harnesses designed especially for the dangerous feat of feeding bananas to hamsters. You have NO IDEA how dangerous that can be.
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Ginny Boston 8 years ago
**** EXACT~A~MUNDO**** I don't guess people know what a pocket pet is!!! Worse yet, it bothers me that I know!!! lol
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#7
Allana Rose 8 years ago
This sounds like something I would answer. Not because I am so innocent but sometimes I can be totally clueless! *L*
Denis Doucette 8 years ago
Another answer could have been "Horizontal. I can't sleep sitting up" :P
#8
#9
Jodie Piehl 8 years ago
Honest answer? Bondage. The ring at the neck is used to with straps and harnesses like in the picture above this one.
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#10
Allana Rose 8 years ago
It's seriously the lamest costume I've ever seen! It's as bad as going as a giant d**k!
Ginny Boston 8 years ago
That is it (lol), I here by give up bacon!!! How the hell does that even look like bacon to anyone. Should have put a roll of paper towels between the lips *on the bacon*, maybe then someone would have gotten it, yah think?????
Lyndsay Peterson 8 years ago
Just yesterday, an instagram account I follow posted a picture of two dogs hugging/taking a nap captioned, ”’Fapping’ when friendship and napping collide”. Everyone in the comments section is like, “uhhhhh.... totally not what that means... but cute pic I guess???”
#11
Yana La 8 years ago
Exactly. If someone is old enough to be on the internet, they are old enough to know about basic biology!
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Markus McCloud 8 years ago
I'd probably say something just as dumb, like: "Jesus Christ! What school do you go to!?" and follow it up with "Never mind. Just realized what you meant..."
#12
Ok Ha-Neul 8 years ago
what is it seriously someone please tell me i have said "i want a cream pie" so many times because i i thought it was a cream puff in pie form. isn't it??
Laila Star 8 years ago
Did you say it out loud, to other people? DoNot google it. You can't unknow things.
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Dani Donovan 8 years ago
Me when I was googling trying to figure out pearl necklace. Urban dictionary is your friend.
Cherie Barnard 8 years ago
I didn't know what Hentai was. So I googled it. At work. Where can I go to die?
Cheryl Hopper 8 years ago
Yes, the internet is a disgusting place. Thank you, Captain Obvious.
Celental Midnight 8 years ago
I'm confused.... Cream pie is good! What does that mean? It isn't a pastry????
#13
Sonya Bamboo 8 years ago
When u decide not to upvote a comment so that it stays at 69 😂
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Lillukka79 8 years ago
One of the few times when you can say stick it up your a**e, and mean it.
#14
Zori the degu 8 years ago
Please, tell me this is fake... You can't be such an idiot, it's not natural, it's not normal... I knew that these codes must be kept secret from the moment I learned about debit cards. I was 7 years old then, you know.
Kira Thesloth 8 years ago
Makki is funny because yes, walk outside & you'll find a dozen people this dumb. I do however think this is fake because the names don't match on the cards.
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#15
Kira Thesloth 8 years ago
Head is a slang term for giving a guy oral sex.
Load More Replies... Risa Lovee 8 years ago
A few years ago I didn't know what give head means because English is not my native language plus I wasn't familiar with slangs yet XD
#16
Risa Lovee 8 years ago
Another term for male masturbation that I did not understand until this year lmao XD
Samantha Wurm 8 years ago
I didn't understand this, until my husband explained it to me after I showed it to him............... 😱
Anne Wild 8 years ago
Check the comments. I didn't know it either -not being a native english speaking person-.
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#17
Rebekah 8 years ago
How did "boo" even explain this? "And they jumped me, and these two kept sucking on my neck really hard, and the third wouldn't stop scratching my back with his long nails, and it was so scary!"
Laila Najm 8 years ago
The demons got me, but I pulled away and ran straight home to you babe!
Load More Replies... Laila Star 8 years ago
Everyone told her. I mean Evvveryone. I just checked. https://twitter.com/47scorpios/status/612407328168488960?lang=en
Lucida 8 years ago
Poor girl! When I was a young teen my boyfriend at that time gave me hickies like that (idiot). My mom thought we had been in a fight and that he had tried to strangle me.
#18
Zenozenobee 8 years ago
I feel the same... there must be a whole bunch of unsolved Oedipus complex round there.
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Laila Star 8 years ago
We should make up a new replacement. Do other languages have this same problem ? Are their common patriarch nomenclatures suggestively sexualized ?
J Perry 8 years ago
Not the Scandinavian languages as far as I know. We just use English for the dirty and the native language for the father. Or I might just be naive, who knows these days 😂 But the Spanish speaking cultures seem to be the same as the English speaking, with the "sexy" papi/mami.
Load More Replies... Allana Rose 8 years ago
*giggling* I love my Daddy too but he is the one who usually buys me goodies!
#19
Allana Rose 8 years ago
Katie! A bear is a larger gentleman in the gay community, usually with a lot of body hair. Or am I wrong people?
Luke Pascasio 8 years ago
There used to be men's bathhouses where guys would go to have sex with each other.
Claire Thomson 8 years ago
I don't get the sauna thing. Do they think gay oral sex is talking about sex in a sauna?
#20
Wanda Queen 8 years ago
I'm not the only one who spent a good 2 minutes scrolling back and forth between the description and the photo of this guys a*s, to see what he's into....right?.......RIGHT??
Luminatron 8 years ago
Y'know who's a fan of watersports? Donald Trump. (Ta-da, a golden shower joke.)
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Hollie Newton 8 years ago
What's scat is it something relating to the colour like with watersports? :/
Master Markus 8 years ago
It bothers me that urine fetishism is called "watersports". There's no "sports" involved!
#21
Marysia Jawłowska 8 years ago
Frankly, it's sad that anyone thinks that's what a girl actually thinks when commenting on another girl's good looks. Like it's impossible to admire somebody else just like that.
blugeagua 8 years ago
Exactly! If a girl or women says another girl is pretty, then it’s most likely because we are f*****g admiring their looks! We are not “comparing”! It’s such f*****g misogynistic having to deal with that s**t.
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#22
Out of chocolate 8 years ago
Yah. Wine tastings are classy places. Don’t spit at a wine tasting. Oh, but you shouldn’t swallow your wine; you’ll get too drunk.
Alastair Kingsley 8 years ago
F**k off Melody just because you think he's a smart a*s doesn't make him one. Some people are that dumb. If you were smart you'd know that.
#23
#24
M O'Connell 8 years ago
"Nut" in this context is a colloquial term for sexual fluids produced at orgasm.
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#25
Cerys Dunbar 8 years ago
blind people have specially trained dogs to help them
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#26
#27
Eva Tóthová 8 years ago
is it that they have some leisure activities in the house over the weekend, or what exactly is the point, please? or that he wants to stay alone at home?
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What do you think ?
Cassie 8 years ago
My teenage daughter says adorably innocent things and I love it so much. I just don't understand how she can grow up with a couple of gutter-brained parents and three brothers and still be so naive. Stay innocent, baby girl. ^_^
Wanda Queen 8 years ago
Ah yes. Reminds me of the time I said "Netflix and chill" in the car, while my teen daughter was in the back with about 3 friends, and they had to explain to me that it does not, in fact, mean relax with a good Netflix movie. #OldLadyWalking
Marci Seamples 8 years ago
If it makes you feel any better I just had to look it up after reading your comment #oldladynoclue
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Sandra Morley 8 years ago
my daughter saw the pic of the vagina costume and the butt plug tail.. and I abou tdied laughing at her comments to them. Vagina costume: look mom! its a hot dog.. Me: oh hunny.. no... Her: but I see the ketchup and bun... Butt plug tail: a fuzzy door handle? Me:... not even close oh innocent one.
Betty Coltrane 8 years ago
Nope. Innocence= ignorance which is never useful in this world.
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Lucky Vine 8 years ago
Reminds me of the time my friend told me she had named her SUV Jezebel. I asked her if she knew who Jezebel was, and when she said no, I started to explain, but remembered her 8-year-old daughter was with us, so I just said "Jezebel was... a bad girl," to which my friend's daughter replied "my mom's car IS a bad girl." XD
Chuck Bartowski 8 years ago
Just this past week I was working on designing and testing a pump system. Well the water wasn't reaching the top of the tank, so I said to my partner who was at the pump controlling the pump-output if he could give me more head, as in hydraulic head. He thought nothing of it, I thought nothing of it. Well later I saw a meme about "giving head in bed" and in that moment, I realized I had made an innuendo, although I didn't (and still don't) understand what it was.
Mary Smith 8 years ago
Getting head, oral sex. Basically, you asked him to suck your mister happy.
Load More Replies... Caroline Shepherd 8 years ago
Can someone explain the 15th picture lmao and even though I don't know what watersports are I feel like I don't even want to. 😂😅
Paul Chestnut 8 years ago
The handkerchief is yellow. What's a liquid that's also yellow?
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Catalina Villegas 7 years ago
I asked two male friends for some tea because I had a stomachache. One of them said "Sure, I have lots of teas and herbal teas, take whatever you need". The second friend, making fun of him, called him "Oh, Mr Tea" and me, wanting to sound funny, called him "TEABAG!!!". They didn't find it funny. Then I said "What?" "is that an insult or something? There was a character on Prison Break, whose nickname was 'Teabag'...but I don't know what it means". They explained it to me in detail.
Cassie 8 years ago
My teenage daughter says adorably innocent things and I love it so much. I just don't understand how she can grow up with a couple of gutter-brained parents and three brothers and still be so naive. Stay innocent, baby girl. ^_^
Wanda Queen 8 years ago
Ah yes. Reminds me of the time I said "Netflix and chill" in the car, while my teen daughter was in the back with about 3 friends, and they had to explain to me that it does not, in fact, mean relax with a good Netflix movie. #OldLadyWalking
Marci Seamples 8 years ago
If it makes you feel any better I just had to look it up after reading your comment #oldladynoclue
Load More Replies... Sandra Morley 8 years ago
my daughter saw the pic of the vagina costume and the butt plug tail.. and I abou tdied laughing at her comments to them. Vagina costume: look mom! its a hot dog.. Me: oh hunny.. no... Her: but I see the ketchup and bun... Butt plug tail: a fuzzy door handle? Me:... not even close oh innocent one.
Betty Coltrane 8 years ago
Nope. Innocence= ignorance which is never useful in this world.
Load More Replies... Lucky Vine 8 years ago
Reminds me of the time my friend told me she had named her SUV Jezebel. I asked her if she knew who Jezebel was, and when she said no, I started to explain, but remembered her 8-year-old daughter was with us, so I just said "Jezebel was... a bad girl," to which my friend's daughter replied "my mom's car IS a bad girl." XD
Chuck Bartowski 8 years ago
Just this past week I was working on designing and testing a pump system. Well the water wasn't reaching the top of the tank, so I said to my partner who was at the pump controlling the pump-output if he could give me more head, as in hydraulic head. He thought nothing of it, I thought nothing of it. Well later I saw a meme about "giving head in bed" and in that moment, I realized I had made an innuendo, although I didn't (and still don't) understand what it was.
Mary Smith 8 years ago
Getting head, oral sex. Basically, you asked him to suck your mister happy.
Load More Replies... Caroline Shepherd 8 years ago
Can someone explain the 15th picture lmao and even though I don't know what watersports are I feel like I don't even want to. 😂😅
Paul Chestnut 8 years ago
The handkerchief is yellow. What's a liquid that's also yellow?
Load More Replies... Catalina Villegas 7 years ago
I asked two male friends for some tea because I had a stomachache. One of them said "Sure, I have lots of teas and herbal teas, take whatever you need". The second friend, making fun of him, called him "Oh, Mr Tea" and me, wanting to sound funny, called him "TEABAG!!!". They didn't find it funny. Then I said "What?" "is that an insult or something? There was a character on Prison Break, whose nickname was 'Teabag'...but I don't know what it means". They explained it to me in detail.
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