Marriage is a beautiful journey, a story of love that starts off with a sprint but gradually finds its rhythm into an easy jog that spans (hopefully) your entire life.

While there are inevitably bumps and hiccups along the way, for most of us the bond only gets stronger with age. Helpful to this is the ability to laugh at oneself and each other, life is too short to be serious all the time!

We here at Bored Panda have compiled a list of tweets from people who appear to have mastered the art of a successful marriage and appear to be having a good laugh in the process. Scroll down to check out the list below!

#1

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

XplodingUnicorn Report

Ladies and Gentlemen
Community Member
3 years ago

That's a Savage wife right there! Thug life!

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#2

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

Lhlodder Report

Mikleo
Community Member
3 years ago

We have a plug with 2 USB ports.

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#3

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

XplodingUnicorn Report

SarcasticKitten
Community Member
3 years ago

Yes and the excuse is that you're going to the other.

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#4

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

squirrel74wkgn Report

Ladies and Gentlemen
Community Member
3 years ago

Hahahahaha! This should be on top! Jeez!

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#5

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

GrantTanaka Report

Community Member
3 years ago

My uncle has been silently putting tags with his name on my grandmothers furniture :/

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#6

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

LurkAtHomeMom Report

Bored Phoenix
Community Member
3 years ago

Hahahaha! Good one!

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#7

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

deegeemindi Report

Community Member
3 years ago

i think like about 35 will be enough

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#8

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

GrantTanaka Report

SarcasticKitten
Community Member
3 years ago

Savage

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#9

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

XplodingUnicorn Report

Bored Phoenix
Community Member
3 years ago

So it's a can't believer?

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#10

Funniest-Marriage-Tweets-2017

LurkAtHomeMom Report

Bored Phoenix
Community Member
3 years ago

8-) Boss Mom.

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#11

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

Parkerlawyer Report

Sarah Laurent
Community Member
3 years ago

Good sleeping makes a happy wife ^_^

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#12

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

MAB1013 Report

Steve
Community Member
3 years ago

And whatever you do, guys, NEVER respond with " only of you clear out the hair-catcher in the bath plughole". I still bear the scars to this day...

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#13

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

copymama Report

Community Member
3 years ago

When you have kids...

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#14

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

XplodingUnicorn Report

Community Member
3 years ago

my mom does that and she told me she change it to french i dunno how :D

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#15

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

XplodingUnicorn Report

The Cappy
Community Member
3 years ago

Because she only remembers the times you were wrong.

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#16

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

FoxyWinePocket Report

Ladies and Gentlemen
Community Member
3 years ago

My Mom use to say to my dad - "If you try to find things by your eyes, instead of your mouth, you will find them"

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#17

Funniest-Marriage-Tweets-2017

Cheeseboy22 Report

Tua Xylanthia
Community Member
3 years ago

Actually this is kinda true, science is on the side of men. Estrogen helps to stimulate immune system to work faster and more aggressive, while testosterone does the opposite. But most men are still big drama queens when they have the cold. :D

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#18

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

dumbbeezie Report

Community Member
3 years ago

Having kids is like this too :DD

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#19

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

nottheworstmom Report

Marina
Community Member
3 years ago

Nice one hehe

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#20

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

yenniwhite Report

Nancy E
Community Member
3 years ago

Maybe, he will apologize in your dream tonight.

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#21

Funniest-Marriage-Tweets-2017

iwearaonesie Report

Erin
Community Member
3 years ago

Me.

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#22

Funniest-Marriage-Tweets-2017

KeetPotato Report

The Cappy
Community Member
3 years ago

Never aspire to be Homer.

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#23

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

3sunzzz Report

VeryDarkMatter
Community Member
3 years ago

But.. why? He took a day off. He can do it ! You should rest and netflix all day long

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#24

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

XplodingUnicorn Report

Ian Osmond
Community Member
3 years ago

The Wall Street Journal interviewed a friend of ours about extreme couponing. She managed to supply a number of local shelters with toiletries, and got CVS to pay her for the privilege.

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#25

Funniest-Marriage-Tweets-2017

katiewasmund Report

Kristel Bijnen
Community Member
3 years ago

Since I am a picky eater (which I hate, I would love to be able to eat everything without throwing it up) when I try something new at a restaurant and I'm not sure I can eat it safely, he makes sure to order something I like for sure! He is the best!

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#26

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

XplodingUnicorn Report

Max Lombardi
Community Member
3 years ago

You just became my today hero.

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#27

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

iwearaonesie Report

Ladies and Gentlemen
Community Member
3 years ago

My Dad would do that just to annoy my Mom! For him, since I can remember, everything is a joke first!

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#28

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

XplodingUnicorn Report

mindfkr
Community Member
3 years ago

Kids are, hands down, the greatest threat that ever lived.

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#29

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

XplodingUnicorn Report

Community Member
3 years ago

Watch your back ;P

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#30

Funniest-Marriage-Tweets-2017

Cheeseboy22 Report

Ladies and Gentlemen
Community Member
3 years ago

Hahahahahaaha.. I got a good laugh on this. too much relatable!

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#31

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

EricaWhoToYou Report

Community Member
3 years ago

Eat his :P

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#32

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

TwinSurvivalist Report

Cheezees
Community Member
3 years ago

😂😂😂

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#33

Funniest-Marriage-Tweets-2017

iwearaonesie Report

Stannous Flouride
Community Member
3 years ago

MARRIED: "You go get the car, I'll wait here with the stuff."

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#34

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

yenniwhite Report

Hawk
Community Member
3 years ago

Husband is jus like. “What? Why are you staring at me?” *brings over tea* “I WANT COFFEE”

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#35

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

Donna_McCoy Report

Ladies and Gentlemen
Community Member
3 years ago

ROFL! LMAO! Instantly Samuel L. Jackson from Pulp fiction came into my mind!

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#36

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

Jmboyd58 Report

Emma Perkins
Community Member
3 years ago

100% my father. He spent hours upon hours cleaning before Christmas day in case someone decided to come over. No one did.

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#37

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

GrantTanaka Report

Marina
Community Member
3 years ago

Hahaha

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#38

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

sidleykate Report

Sheri Clauser Reget
Community Member
3 years ago

this is us with bananas. green vs. spotted. It's all in the timing.

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#39

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

dafloydsta Report

Nancy E
Community Member
3 years ago

I laughed hard at this one!

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#40

Funniest-Marriage-Tweets-2017

iwearaonesie Report

SlothKing
Community Member
3 years ago

that is the first thing i have seen that is not made in china

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#41

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

JessObsess Report

Danny Waller
Community Member
3 years ago

The Reason Why: Kid falls off swing and gets hurt. Mom spits on kleenex and rubs it on kids face. "You'll be fine."

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#42

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

ixix82 Report

WaLe
Community Member
3 years ago

Amen to that :)

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#43

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

sarcasticmommy4 Report

Cassie
Community Member
3 years ago

I take four teenagers and make them carry everything, get more than I intended, and send one to fetch a cart. ^_^

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#44

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

XplodingUnicorn Report

Fluffy Destroyer
Community Member
3 years ago

I am a girl. I hate shopping. I do not care about what I wear. I keep my hair neatly braided and like to read. Society thinks I am odd. I F ING do not care about clothes anymore than this guy.

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#45

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

TheBoydP Report

The Cappy
Community Member
3 years ago

So THAT explains what happened to my hammock.

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#46

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

PinkCamoTO Report

Nancy E
Community Member
3 years ago

Or a children's dollhouse with a zillion small pieces ........not the snap kind ;the glue kind

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#47

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

JessicaValenti Report

ADHORTATOR
Community Member
3 years ago

So does my wife

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#48

Funniest-Marriage-Tweets-2017

Jmboyd58 Report

Leah Spaulding
Community Member
3 years ago

Sounds like my hubby

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#49

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

Parkerlawyer Report

Peta_C
Community Member
3 years ago

Resembles my relationship *breathy sigh...gazes into the sunset dreamily*

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#50

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

GrantTanaka Report

Shari H
Community Member
3 years ago

I have said this to my husband many times in our 26 years together. That and "the only way out is death".

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#51

Funniest-Marriage-Tweets-2017

moooooog35 Report

The Cappy
Community Member
3 years ago

It comes on every winter and seems to be the "nothing at all wrong" indicator. I have one too ;) It doesn't ever appear indicate what it claims to indicate.

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#52

Funniest-Marriage-Tweets-2017

sarcasticmommy4 Report

Crazy Dog Lady
Community Member
3 years ago

My husband and I watch Dateline/48 Hours and the like and I swear 80% of them are about husbands killing their wives for life insurance.

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#53

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

WalkingOutside Report

Ladies and Gentlemen
Community Member
3 years ago

Relatable!

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#54

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

FatherWithTwins Report

JillVille Child Care
Community Member
3 years ago

Yep, hubby whistles for myself and the kids when we're out and about. You can see our kids heads pop up over the racks like damn meerkats when they hear that sound. It's so funny! Nobody else in the store reacts to that whistle but us.

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#55

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

Cheeseboy22 Report

Mikleo
Community Member
3 years ago

Which anniversary, wedding, first date, first kiss, first time he did the laundry?

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#56

Funniest-Marriage-Tweets-2017

Cheeseboy22 Report

The Cappy
Community Member
3 years ago

No grasshopper. It will be time for YOU to leave.

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#57

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

TragicAllyHere Report

Daria Mosyagina
Community Member
3 years ago

Make a printscreen with low percentage on it and show it to your partner ;)

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#58

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

XplodingUnicorn Report

The Cappy
Community Member
3 years ago

Me: "Whee!"

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#59

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

ericsshadow Report

Alida Wilson
Community Member
3 years ago

Marriage level: expert

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#60

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

simoncholland Report

Blue Cicada
Community Member
3 years ago

There's a collection of jokes and stories about Hodji/Hajja (spellings differ, based on country and transliteration). A long-suffering wise man, his stories exist in the Middle East, North Africa, Eastern Europe, West, Central and South Asia. On his deathbed, he asks his wife to put on her nicest clothes and best jewelry. So he has a lovely vision before he dies, she asks. "No, so that when Death comes he'll think you look better and take you instead!"

#61

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

smithsara79 Report

SlothKing
Community Member
3 years ago

NOOOO NOT THE LAST CURLY FRY!

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#62

Funniest-Marriage-Tweets-2017

sarcasticmommy4 Report

BusLady
Community Member
3 years ago

Why does auto correct ALWAYS make it into something embarrassing?

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#63

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

iwearaonesie Report

Shari H
Community Member
3 years ago

Wife level: amateur. NEVER allow him to go wait in the car; you cannot let him win.

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#64

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

Six_Pack_Mom Report

Nancy E
Community Member
3 years ago

Tit-for-tat~~~~~~~~~~

#65

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

junejuly12 Report

Tiffany Wilson
Community Member
3 years ago

For me, it's push in your chair and turn off the light if you're the last one in the room.

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#66

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

simoncholland Report

The Cappy
Community Member
3 years ago

If I can hear you chewing from another room, you're chewing too loud. Just something to consider.

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#67

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

PetrickSara Report

Ladies and Gentlemen
Community Member
3 years ago

And I have a *headache*!

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#68

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

GrantTanaka Report

Tiny Dynamine
Community Member
3 years ago

Huh? So the son can look at himself in the mirror?

Zhenda Glover
Community Member
3 years ago

The son was the side effect.

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#69

Funniest-Marriage-Tweets-2017

KeetPotato Report

Kristel Bijnen
Community Member
3 years ago

Lmao

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#70

Funniest Marriage Tweets Of 2017

sarcasticmommy4 Report

JillVille Child Care
Community Member
3 years ago

That sounds a lot like my grocery store trips for milk. $80 later, I have milk, but hubby thinks I spent too much on it. :P

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