30 Brutal Moments When People’s Illusions Of Friendship Were Shattered
Interview
You’ve got a friend in me, you’ve got a friend in me! Until you stab me in the back, publicly humiliate me or betray me. Then, we’re done.
Below, you’ll find some heartbreaking stories that have recently been shared on Reddit detailing the worst things people’s former friends have done to them. We hope you can’t actually relate to any of these tales, pandas, but if you can, know that you’re not alone. Be sure to upvote the stories that you find most upsetting, and keep reading to find conversations with the Reddit user who posed this question and Lisa Seaton, the woman behind The Zing Collective.
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My life long friend of 30+ years, moved out of state and would call me drunk and go on and on usually on a ranting tangent about different things that she wouldn’t remember the next time we spoke. I was a patient listener. One night she called on the anniversary of my teenage son’s death so I told her I was having a really hard emotional day and would call her another time. She started scolding me for being a s****y friend because she needed to talk and I should be there for her. Then she said my dead son told her he was really disappointed in me for being so selfish and that he expected better of me. It felt like she twisted a knife in my already shattered heart. I yelled F**k You!, hung up, blocked her and went NC.
If you know that that's how you act when drunk, I feel like you probably shouldn't allow yourself to get drunk, or atleast not get drunk often.
To learn more about what's required to maintain a healthy friendship, we reached out to Lisa Seaton, the woman behind The Zing Collective, who was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda. "The most important part of a healthy friendship is that both parties are equal contributors," Lisa says.
"The specifics will look different for each friendship, but it should be a two way street built on mutual ground. If one person in a friendship feels that they are putting in more effort than the other, or not getting as much out as they're putting in, then resentment and frustration can build," she explained.
"Another key factor in any relationship - friends, family, romantic, professional - is communication. As long as everyone involved is communicating their expectations and feelings effectively then you stand the best chance of nurturing a healthy relationship," Lisa added.
Few people. They got on the Trump train. Politics was always something we stayed away from. We worked on cars, went fishing, hunting, camping, etc. Have plenty to talk about and do that doesn’t have to do with politics. Once they got roped into that garbage it became their whole personality. I have a hard time seeing Trump supporters as anything other than America hating pro-fascist bigots. Once they started calling anyone who wants anything less than killing gay people “groomers” I told them I was done. NGL, I’m lonely and sad about losing this group and there’s not a lot of redneck non-MAGA people who know what side of a wrench to hold. But, to me this isn’t a difference in politics but in morality and patriotism and it’s a bridge too far.
She called me manipulative for rearranging our plans when I had just got out of hospital and needed to rest. Apparently my "flakyness" affected her anxiety disorder and made her feel unappreciated. I told her that it wasn't like I'd had an asthma attack on purpose. She called manipulative, I called her selfish, I haven't talked to her since.
As far as how to know when a friendship needs to end, Lisa says it's much easier to tell when something dramatic happens, such as a betrayal or an explosive argument. "But there are often subtle signs that a friendship has run its course before it gets to that point, and these are trickier to spot," she noted.
"You can learn to pick up on these subtle signs by being conscious of how a friendship makes you feel," the expert says. "Start off by taking the time to note how you feel before or after seeing a friend." Lisa recommends that we ask ourselves questions such as: "How do you feel before meeting up? Are you excited to spend time with them, or does it feel like a chore or obligation? How do you feel in their company? Relaxed/comfortable/on edge/defensive? How do you feel when you leave the interaction? Happy/uplifted/relieved/drained/annoyed?"
"I understand why your ex beat you."
Like most long-term friends, we knew a lot of each other’s secrets. Misdeeds, misadventures and so forth. Nothing too criminal but also some youthful indiscretions that should stay in the “We Don’t Talk About This With Others” box.
The friendship was waning. About a year prior I had really started questioning what I was getting out of it and if I shouldn’t just slowly break contact. Then I started dating my girlfriend. Naturally he took that as me dropping him like a hot potato, which wasn’t true but from his perspective, I get the suspicion.
After a few half-hearted attempts at getting together, we did and apparently he did not like the way it turned out. He sent me an e-mail threatening to tell my girlfriend all of the s**t we’d got into over the years, going so far as to list out dates, times and circumstances. I responded that he could if he wanted to, and that would likely be the end of the relationship with my girlfriend, but the threat of doing so definitely meant an end to our friendship. I also forwarded the e-mail to a couple of friends who were already in the know. They also ended up cooling things off with him.
In the end, nothing came of it. But when you start threatening your friends of 20+ years with misdemeanours committed when you were young, then I can never trust you again.
Reminds me of when my grandma had a fallout with an old friend and the friend was terrified of grandma because gran knew stuff that would have socially ruined this woman. Years later she apologized and thanked gran for keeping her secrets despite her being a b***h.
After explaining and trying to process how many people had died on the hospital unit where I work from covid, b***h really says "I don't think it's real". Like, do you need to have nightmares about them gasping for air every night too?
I'm still in disbelief that there are still so many people who think Covid was/is a hoax. Makes me wonder if they can manage to tie their shoes.
"Once you start to pay attention to these feelings, it will become clearer which friendships are healthy and which aren't," Lisa told Bored Panda. "That's not to say that if you feel some negative feelings that you need to immediately cut someone out, but it is an indicator that some changes are required in the friendship in order for it to last long term."
I came home and my neighbor (who I befriended three months prior) started blowing up my phone saying she had an emergency. I responded and told her that it was late, I was tired and had just got back from work, and my boyfriend had a 101 fever so I just was not feeling it. She then proceeded to bang on my windows and door at 12:30 in the morning and texted my boyfriend and my roommate at the time to try and get ahold of me. Turns out the “emergency” was one of her friends (haven’t even met this person) has gotten cheated on. Blocked her and never spoke to her again.
They turned into a flat earther, anti vax, freedom fighter. It's just too much stupid to put up with.
Lisa has discussed how to end toxic friendships on her site before, and she shared that her recommendation is to have a conversation with the person and let them know how you're feeling. "Even if there is no saving the friendship, it can help make it a cleaner break, and nobody is left with any confusion about what went wrong," she explained. "Also be open to the fact that they may have grievances too. It's unlikely that the issues only run one way! Unfortunately, we've all been someone's toxic friend along the way."
She and her husband were living in my finished basement. I charged very little and they were struggling financially. They asked me if they could skip a few months rent to save for a security deposit for an apartment and I agreed.
I went on vacation and a neighbor texted me complimenting my boat. I didn’t have a boat. Turns out my friend and her husband had financed a ski boat and were hiding it from me. I was gone so they brought it home to clean it and got caught. I called them out on it and gave them 30 days notice. They and their possessions were gone before I got back from vacation. We were friends for over a decade before this.
When you combine greed with entitlement & desperation, you’ve created a napalm s**t show that’ll scorch anything & everyone in its path.
Invited me to Thanksgiving in San Antonio. I followed her from Waco to San Antonio. Lost her on the freeway when she made a last second exit. She refused to give me an address. I drove home and the restaurants were closed, so I had Top Ramen for Thanksgiving dinner that year.
"Society in general talks quite openly about the work required to keep a romantic relationship healthy, but we don't hear nearly enough about maintaining healthy friendships," Lisa added. "Friendships require the same amount of love, care, and attention as our romantic partnerships, and they should be nurtured in the same way. Do a friendship audit and get clear on which friendships are most important to you – then make sure you're watering them frequently!"
If you'd like to hear more wise words from Lisa about friendship and living your best life, be sure to visit The Zing Collective!
She accused the man I was with of sexually assaulting her. During my birthday party. Dozens of witnesses including myself. In reality she got wasted, threw herself at him, and had a crying fit when he didn't go for it. I spent the rest of my birthday party comforting her and telling her she's so pretty. Then she snuck out after to tell her VETERAN husband that he tried to r**e her. The fact that my ex is still alive is enough to show that the husband knew it was bs
god i hate women like this. crying wolf. its so damaging to women who do try to speak up and people then don't believe them because they think they're lying. just an all around sh*tty thing to do.
Stole my drivers license because she wanted to use it at bars (shes under 21), refused to give it back, told me she got it taken away at the bar she goes to. I called the bar and they told me they didn’t take IDs, told her i knew she was lying. She told me to “disrespectfully f**k off”. I told her to leave it under my doormat and if it’s not there the next morning I’m going to the DMV and getting it replaced and reporting it as stolen under her name. She never gave it back, next morning i went to the DMV and got a new ID and reported it as stolen under her name. Really s****y situation.
To learn more about how this conversation started in the first place, we reached out to Reddit user DarksideOutlaw, who posed the question, "What was the worst thing a friend did to you that just made you say f*ck it and cut off all contact?" Lucky for us, the OP was kind enough to have a chat and open up about some of his own friendships that he had to make the choice to end.
"My best friend of 10 years had backstabbed me and chosen making money over our friendship," the OP shared. "I was hurt by this for years, wondering why he had chosen that route. I made the post wondering if anyone else had been betrayed or used, and the response was overwhelming to say the least."
He tried to recruit me to Scientology. He even succeeded briefly, but it didn't take me long to see the truth about them.
One of Scientology's teachings is that you should cut off all contact with what they call Suppressive Persons. I originally thought they meant people who are harmful to your emotional well-being, but I quickly came to realize they apply the term to anyone who speaks ill of Scientology. Discouraging people from giving truckloads of money to that ridiculous cult is a high crime in their world.
I rejected that teaching and stuck to my original definition of suppressive person: someone who's harmful to my emotional well-being. I then cut off every single person I met in that "Church", including my former friend, for being what I consider suppressive people. Who not to associate with might be the only useful thing I learned from them.
I’ve had a few, and when it’s more than one, it means the problem is me. I trust too easily and when I love someone, I’m loyal and give. I think that makes it easy to take advantage of me. I’ve had friends that I thought were it, mind you, my husband told me he had bad feelings about them. He was right. They’d use me to do their chores, babysit, dog sit, things like that, and when I had a need ghosted me. It took me a really long time to understand that not all people are like me, and I needed to be more cautious. Now, that being said, my one really true, loving, friend is dying. We are 44, and her and her husband have been couple best friends with us for 20+ years. We raised our children together. We vacationed together. We absolutely love this woman. She’s always been there for all of us. A year ago she had a bad car accident, we now know because of the terminal brain disorder, and it has just deteriorated. We live in different towns, but my husband and I travel frequently to her, because our time is now short, and we need to support her husband and her kids. We are also both nurses, so we can help in that way too and give her family respite. We also don’t want to miss any moment we have left. So, we will be by their side until the end and beyond, and it really puts into perspective that these other “friends” were nothing. I don’t know why I wasted my time. I know in my soul, if it were reversed, she would care for me, we loved each other without demanding. She is my family. I miss her while she’s still here. Anyway, just love your people and appreciate them, life is short. And be a true friend, because as people, we need each other.
DarksideOutlaw went on to open up about their former best friend. "We were supposed to open up a bong shop together, but he got greedy and cut me out. He managed everything, but thanks to me, word of mouth, and hard work advertising our shop, we were thriving," he shared. "But he told everyone I had borrowed money from him and wouldn't pay him back. Literally turned all my friends against me and ruined my reputation."
The OP noted that his former best friend also claimed that he owed him 20k, so he cut all contact with his former friends and just focuses on spending time with his family now. "He tried reaching out to me through my old friends and social media to say he was sorry for everything he had done and wanted to make amends and hang out again, but the damage had been done," DarksideOutlaw added. "He crossed the line, and I was never going to forgive him for ruining my life. I never replied to his messages and ignore him to this day."
I've always been forgetful. I'd lose things and they'd just be gone. Searching the apartment for an hour and they don't turn up. I'd check my car. I'd check at work. No f*****g clue. Happened pretty often. I'd warn people not to trust me with anything of value since I had a s**t habit of losing stuff.
Welp. Turns out Brian had been stealing from me for decades.
I had a "friend" named Brian who also stole from me, and would steal pain meds from his stepfather who was dying of cancer. He ruined every real friendship he has by stealing and lying his a**e off
my friend cheated with my fiancé...
Dang, poor OP… Nobody should have to go through this. For anyone who is/has, you got this, ok? You will find someone who loves you. And if you don’t want to, that’s ok too. Just remember you’re awsome, and amazing, and nobody should ever tell you otherwise.
The OP also opened up about another former friend he had a falling out with. "I loved her as more than a friend, but she didn't have the same feelings of love for me," he noted. "She saw me as a younger brother to look out for, so I accepted that and told her I needed time to myself. We didn't talk until I reached out 2 years later."
"I helped out by becoming her roommate when both our leases had ended, as my sister had moved out and I was searching for months for a new roommate," he went on to explain. "We had been best friends for a few years, and we told each other everything, including our darkest secrets and our dreams."
Visited me at college, Told me he was going to sleep at his ex gf's place. Actually stole a credit card from my wallet, booked a night at the marriott and proceeded to pretend like he didn't. That is until my dad called and asked about the charge because he took the emergency card my parents gave me. My dad made him drop the cash off at his mailbox and i've been ignoring him ever since.
Told me I had to choose between him or my wife, while we were riding in my wife dads pick up on a 1200 mile road trip. He was dead serious and got violent about it. I had to get the police to intervene. The wife and I still have no clue what went through his head or why he flipped the heck out.
The last thing I did for him was buy him a bus ticket home, and give him money for food.
Never saw him again.
This sounds like he was harboring a humongous secret that not only filled him with self-loathing & shame, but insanely jealous unrequited love, which caused him to spiral to the point of snapping. To be very literal with trading his wife for this other man, it seems that to be an equitable trade the guy would need to supply all that he was trading away, including the intimacy and sexual activity.
DarksideOutlaw noted that other friends had warned him that this woman had "changed into a horrible person after she had been in an abusive relationship with her ex," but he didn't want to believe it. She told the OP that she was in debt and struggling to secure the money for bond, so he helped her out and said she could slowly pay him back when she could.
"Everything was fine at first when we both moved in, but the situation changed fast after a week," he shared. "I found out she was self medicating with weed, Xanax and alcohol for her depression and anxiety. I had to take on 2 jobs to cover the rent after I poured my savings into the bond. She would randomly get angry at the smallest of problems and then apologize profusely."
Borrowed money from me and became evasive when I started asking when he'd pay it back. This went on for several months before I finally ran into him on our college campus and confronted him about it. He paid me within a week after that, but there was no salvaging the friendship after that.
My rule of thumb is to never lend money that I need back. If I need it back, I say no. If I can spare it, I lend it with no expectation of seeing it again. If they happen to pay it back, great. But I'm not hounding people for money.
Went on a tirade against immigrants and praised me for my ethnicity.
It was disgusting. It was the final nail in the coffin, it felt like the person I once knew died that day.
RIP amuck
The friendship took a turn for the worst when the OP and his roommate got into an argument one night while she was cooking at 3am. "She panicked when I raised my voice and then pulled a knife on me telling me to get away while slashing the air," he shared. "I was scared for my life and had to slowly approach her telling her to calm down, then I took the knife from her and put in back and the drawer."
DarksideOutlaw then barricaded himself in his room to ensure that he was safe. His roommate tried to open it a few times, but he just went to sleep. "The day after, she had called the police and left the apartment," the OP continued. "I got back from my 2nd job at 11pm, and she had reported me for domestic abuse." He was then questioned by police about the situation, and a day later, he returned from work to find all of his possessions thrown out of the balcony, along with his furniture smashed or broken.
We were running a used computer shop together. We had been running it for a few months so far, I had not gotten any money yet while he had pocketed all of it. One day, he asked if the agreement I had signed between us did not say what I thought it said. He asked what I would do if the agreement said he could take the business over at any time with or without my consent. I walked away from the relationship and have never spoken to him since. This was over 20 years ago.
Don't blame you. Sooner or later, he'll run into somebody who don't play that, and WHAM! His life has become used kitty litter.
Pointed a gun with a laser sight at me thinking it was funny.
That friendship was over in a nanosecond, I imagine. Never point a gun at anything or anyone you don't intend to shoot.
"My friend contacted me later and warned me that her ex was after me because she told him I had abused her (he was an ex-biker, so I was worried)," the OP continued. "I got out of there quickly and ended up going to my family's house to sleep there. She called me later saying that she still wanted me to pay rent, so I told her straight up I wasn't going to if I couldn't even live there. She got angry and hung up on me."
DarksideOutlaw then had a friend help him move out the next day while his roommate was at work. "I stopped talking to her and haven't seen her since," he added. "It broke my heart because I thought she was the one, but accepted that even if I couldn't be with her, I could still be by her side as a friend. And all that got me was one of the most painful betrayals I've had in my life."
My wife and I were being forced to move due to an exorbitant rent hike. We didn't have time to find and move to a new place, so my friend offered his back room to us, free of charge. We'd put most of our stuff in storage and stay with him for a little while until we could find something. We were very grateful to him, and said as much, offering anything we could do to show our appreciation.
Come the day of the move, we have our stuff packed into the Uhaul and we're ready to go. I call him...no answer. Few minutes later, I call him... no answer. I leave a voicemail. An hour passes. We decide to drive over to his place. We arrive and he's not there. Him, his fiance, and his daughter...all not present. They haven't moved out, but no one's home and he's inot answering my calls. My wife calls him...no joy. I message him through Facebook.. I'm blocked. He blocked me. No word why, no communication, just poof. Cut off. This was 11 years ago and we haven't spoken since.
Wow. I really wonder what was going through his head. like seriously. he offered a room to you and then just went silent? wtf. who DOES that??
May seem small in comparison to others here. However, I lived in an apartment and over the course of 2 years the roommates changed a few times. We were all friends beforehand and spent a lot of time together. One of them got married and we were all invited to the wedding. I was the only who wasn't made a groomsman and I wasn't invited to the bachelor party. Needless to say, the message was clear that my presence wasn't desired.
Uninvited me to her destination wedding 4 days before departure that I had already spent over 1k
As far as what the OP thought of the responses to his post, he told Bored Panda, "I found [some] relatable, as I've been in similar situations, and found others shocking to think that could actually be caused by friends. The worst responses are the ones that even someone's worst enemy wouldn't even consider doing. I found that the most horrifying."
The OP also shared some wise words for anyone who's currently in a toxic friendship. "Don't hesitate to cut off people that use you or abuse you," he shared. "You need to put yourself first and be selfish in this situation. It's okay to feel hurt, but don't let it consume you. The worst thing to do would be to bottle up those emotions and lash out."
I've been trying to get divorced for almost 2 years. During this time, the person who I called my best friend took my ex's side about a lot of stuff. She knew he was abusive to me and our children, but still felt like I was in the wrong about everything. She felt like I should give him 50/50 custody. She felt like I should give him money. The final straw, though, was when she told me, "you are the one who has to live with what you did" when I told her that I claimed both kids on my taxes (as I was well within my rights to do) which allowed me to get a refund and him to have to pay. I made the decision because he cashed out his 401k after we split and didn't pay the penalties for early withdrawal and I didn't feel like I or the children should have to suffer for that.
I hadn’t seen them for a long time, and they suggested getting together for coffee. The place was a good choice and I was looking forward to a good old catch up when they tried to sell me an alarm system
It is SO CRINGE to bait someone into a sales pitch by using the guise of a social visit. A close second is how Amway used to (not sure what they do now) tell their people to invite people to recruitment seminars but don't tell them it is Amway. My BIL did that to me. I finally just said, "(his name), is it Amway? Yes or no?" At that point he fessed that it is. He asked me if I would please still come so I did. I heard the typical MLM pitch I was expecting and didn't join. But I found myself thinking I bet a lot of folks who come not knowing it is amway and finding out they more or less got rick rolled must be pretty pissed.
"The longer you hold off on cutting them off, the worst the situation will get," he added. "Time does not dictate how strong a bond is. It is the love and trust that is the foundation of a strong friendship. Never forget your true friends will reveal themselves when you need them the most and would never bring you misery and pain intentionally. Just do it. Don't think about the hows or whys, just do it and you will thank yourself for having the strength to pull it off."
"Just take it one step at a time while you recover from the hurt," DarksideOutlaw says. "You will find yourself true friends someday soon who care and trust you just as much as you do for them. Time may not heal all wounds, but you will eventually get better from there. So don't give up, just cut off all those that would bring you down even if they call you a friend. Sometimes the line has to be drawn to move on. Live life with people who appreciate who you really are. Thank you for reading my story."
When my father died he’d been in a medically induced coma for months after a big heart op and had started having some strokes which were getting more frequent and one affected the parts of his brain related to breathing so he would forever be on a ventilator - I was there at the end as he passed. It was pretty traumatic. A few days later I was round at my so-called best friend’s house and was feeling emotional and wanting to talk. She kept changing the subject and wanted to talk about her plans for the weekend, things on tv etc. I left a little while later and never returned a call from her ever again.
I’d been there for her a few months earlier when her grandfather died so it wasn’t like she didn’t understand loss and how to support friends through grief.
Just dumped a friend group. They've been making me feel bad for awhile now, but I didn't have anyone else, so I stuck around. Last week one of them picked a fight with me, and instead of rolling over I fought back. She accused me of never taking accountability for my actions, which I have literally never been accused of before. Not in school, relationships, or work. In fact, it's usually highlighted that I will own up to mistakes and try to make things right. I am the only one in the group who has actively worked on making my life better, and changing the things I don't like about it. When I said I was sick of her treating me like I'm a child and lecturing me, they make fun of anything I like, and having her tell me I'm wrong about literally everything I say, she said "that's a false narrative and I won't participate." B***h, you wanna talk about accountability? Someone just straight up told you how you hurt them, and you refuse to even acknowledge that it could be true?
I'm done. She can continue to be a ringleader of miserable people, and she can continue to feel superior about it all.
Sounds minor but I had a friend who was one of those always late people and would laugh it off every time but be enraged if you were late. I put up with it because we had some good times and I'm a people pleaser. But it was starting to bug me as it got worse and worse. I finally dropped her as a friend when she was late for my wedding which wasn't even that far and a group of our friends offered to pick her up on their way. She tried laughing about it with me in the receiving line and I was polite. After this I didn't bother contacting her and I hate that the first person in our wedding video receiving line is her. I haven't met her outside of seeing her with mutual friends since.
We had a friend that was chronically late. We started giving her a time that was a half hour before everyone else. She was on time then so we just kept it up that way.
I used to do that with an always-late friend too. When she found out, she got so angry that she stopped talking to me for a long time. Apparently it was "manipulation" to get her not to ruin our plans by being late.
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Always being late and having no patience with others' lateness are all about the same thing - control.
No. I make sure I have enough time to do what I have scheduled/agreed to. I have no tolerance for those who don't similarly respect my time. Occasionally late is one thing; chronic lateness is disrespectful and I won't tolerate it.
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Her world, her time. Everyone else is a minor satellite dependent on her wants & needs.
A lot of people have ADHD. We learn to do things differently so we won't be late. ADHD isn't an excuse. It's just a different way of doing things
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To anyone out there having a rough time or feeling lonely: I get it. You'll find new friends, things will get better. I understand, and I love you. You've got at least one person out there rooting for you, and it's me.
We met when I moved to live with my husband in his home city. We had kids the same age and it was great to have a friend. We helped and supported each other for 30 years no matter what. Then she decided to move. No problem. We stayed in touch through email. The emails came further apart, and then one day out of the blue she started filling my mailbox with racist rightwing propaganda. After 30 years as friends, she knew very well where I stood on the topic. I told her what I thought about it and when the emails kept on coming I blocked her.
I was that terrible friend. I threatened my first best friend with suicide and irritated the whole group and tried to be “edgy”. My family got COVID and I accused them of hanging out with me in the past week so they got stuck in quarantine because of me. This was all 2 years ago and I regret doing all those things as they were good people but I was too selfish
i was friends with someone for over 20 years and during a period where i was going through a pretty bad bout of depression he said and i quote "we wont want to hang around with you anymore if you dont cheer up" that was beginning of the end for me i still stuck it out for a few more years until i met my best friend now and realised how a friendship should be i havent talked to him for a few years now i dont wish him bad but have no room in my life for people that treat me like he did
changed jobs. had known some of my co-workers for 10 years or more. We did lunches, birthday parties, cook-out, bar nights etc together. But as soon as I changed jobs that all stopped. My social circle went from 15-20 to about 5 seemingly overnight.
My college friends and I moved to the same area and hung out together all the time. I married my best friend's husband's best friend. But six months into the marriage, I knew it was a terrible mistake. I got married to keep the friend group together, not because I loved the husband's best friend. I was at my best friend's house alone with her one day and I just started sobbing. She hugged me and asked what was wrong and I said, "I don't want to be married. I made a terrible mistake.". She went stiff, straightened up, and walked into the kitchen to start dinner. Never acknowledged what I said or what I was feeling. Just pretended it never happened. When she had their first child, she told a mutual friend she was happy her child was never exposed to a horrible person like me. Did I mention that she and her husband would never have met had I not brought them together? I keep waiting to get an email telling me her marriage broke up and telling me I was her best friend in the worId but I doubt I'd respond now.
To anyone out there having a rough time or feeling lonely: I get it. You'll find new friends, things will get better. I understand, and I love you. You've got at least one person out there rooting for you, and it's me.
We met when I moved to live with my husband in his home city. We had kids the same age and it was great to have a friend. We helped and supported each other for 30 years no matter what. Then she decided to move. No problem. We stayed in touch through email. The emails came further apart, and then one day out of the blue she started filling my mailbox with racist rightwing propaganda. After 30 years as friends, she knew very well where I stood on the topic. I told her what I thought about it and when the emails kept on coming I blocked her.
I was that terrible friend. I threatened my first best friend with suicide and irritated the whole group and tried to be “edgy”. My family got COVID and I accused them of hanging out with me in the past week so they got stuck in quarantine because of me. This was all 2 years ago and I regret doing all those things as they were good people but I was too selfish
i was friends with someone for over 20 years and during a period where i was going through a pretty bad bout of depression he said and i quote "we wont want to hang around with you anymore if you dont cheer up" that was beginning of the end for me i still stuck it out for a few more years until i met my best friend now and realised how a friendship should be i havent talked to him for a few years now i dont wish him bad but have no room in my life for people that treat me like he did
changed jobs. had known some of my co-workers for 10 years or more. We did lunches, birthday parties, cook-out, bar nights etc together. But as soon as I changed jobs that all stopped. My social circle went from 15-20 to about 5 seemingly overnight.
My college friends and I moved to the same area and hung out together all the time. I married my best friend's husband's best friend. But six months into the marriage, I knew it was a terrible mistake. I got married to keep the friend group together, not because I loved the husband's best friend. I was at my best friend's house alone with her one day and I just started sobbing. She hugged me and asked what was wrong and I said, "I don't want to be married. I made a terrible mistake.". She went stiff, straightened up, and walked into the kitchen to start dinner. Never acknowledged what I said or what I was feeling. Just pretended it never happened. When she had their first child, she told a mutual friend she was happy her child was never exposed to a horrible person like me. Did I mention that she and her husband would never have met had I not brought them together? I keep waiting to get an email telling me her marriage broke up and telling me I was her best friend in the worId but I doubt I'd respond now.
