You might’ve noticed a little pattern that we’re doing here - car jokes. Somehow, we’ve turned a new page and found ourselves with a topic that’s far from funny kittens (although we’ll never denounce them) and more into the world of industries. But hey, what are we to do if there are some pretty hilarious jokes that fall under this category? Ignore them completely? Well, that’s definitely not our style! So, if you’re wondering why on Earth we’re presenting you our latest roster of Ford jokes, just know this - they are, indeed, hilarious. And no, we’re not sponsored by it. Although come to think of it, it would definitely be super cool to roll into the office each day in a Mustang from the early ‘70s.
Anyhoo, enough of daydreaming and back to the jokes about Fords. So, why Fords, exactly? Well, it’s just such a legend! A vehicle that was once a real trailblazer and an absolute trendsetter in its heyday. Something that other countries should’ve been pretty jealous of, honestly. Also, acronyms. And boy, you can come up with some terrific Ford acronym jokes. You know, like F is for Funny, O is for Obsolete, and so on and so forth - I’m not going to make any new jokes when there are around a hundred funny Ford jokes a little bit further down! That would be such a faux pas on my part.
So, ready for some quality jokes about cars? They’re just Ford-tastic! If you agree, scroll on down below to check them out, give the best jokes your vote, and be sure to share this article with your friends.
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85% of all Fords made are still on the road today... The other 15% made it home.
Why are so many Hotwheels based after Ford models?
So kids get used to pushing them at a young age.
"I woke up one day and wanted to go to the store. I went to my garage and saw that my car wasn't there. That day, I realized I shouldn't have bought a Ford Escape."
What do you get when you crash a Ford Focus with a Ford Fiesta?
A Ford Fusion.
Why is Pokemon Go a lifesaver?
Because it gives Ford owners something to do while they walk home.
"My boyfriend looked so excited when I told him I was going to get him an escort for his birthday! I couldn't understand why he looked so disappointed when I handed him the keys to his new Ford."
"My wife and I bought a Ford Escape... We heard it was a great car for getaways."
Ford working on a new heated tailgate feature, that way when you have to push it in the snow your hands won't be cold.
To tell me my zipper was open, a girl tells me, "Your garage is open" I said, "Did you see my ford mustang gt super sport?" She said, "No, but I did see your mini cooper with two flat tires."
"My friend and I decided to race our Ford Pintos. Mine broke three miles down the road. I had to walk the rest of the way. I won."
A Pinto doesn't break down, it explodes. You can tell that most of these "jokes" are from people born in the 90's.
What do the new speed limit signs say on our suburban roads?
Max speed: 60 km/h. Fords do the best you can.
What’s on pages 4 and 5 of the Ford user’s manual?
The train & bus schedules.
"I got to test the new self-driving prototype, the Ford Dixie. But it crashed and I can't get the police to help. They hang up every time after I tell them "My Dixie wrecked.""
Did you know Jesus had a Ford?
That's why he walked everywhere.
AWWWW, So sacriligious and yet, still funny! This one is my favorite!👍
Which brand of cars can you buy without going over budget?
A Ford!
"I really wish people would just put their phones down and drive. Sent from my Ford Fiesta."
"I went to a car show but there was nothing but Fords. I guess you could say it was a real Ford Fiesta."
Why does Ford put magazines in the glove box of their new vehicles?
So you’ll have something to read while waiting on the tow truck.
"I went to a car dealership with my wife we were intending to swap our old Ford to a newer one." The salesman sees us climb out of our car, comes up, and says: "Is that an Escort?", "No this is my wife."
The problem with this joke is you would not EVER be going back to a Ford dealership !
What do you call a Ford with a twin exhaust?
A wheelbarrow.
Man: "Dude my wife just crashed my mustang!"
Friend: "OMG is she okay??"
Man: "Well she may need some buffering and a new coat of paint but she should be alright."
Did you know that Ford has a new magnetized bumper?
They needed something to pick up the parts that fell off along the way.
A man is talking to his friend...
"Today I got a brand new Ford for my wife."
"Eyyy, nice trade."
Why do Ford vehicles have heated rear bumpers?
To keep your hands warm when you're pushing it.
"I told my doctor, I think I have ADHD because I keep forgetting where I parked my Ford."
Doctor: "That's not how ADHD works."
Me: "But I keep losing my Focus."
"I asked my father for a 30-year-old escort for my birthday... He brought home a 30-year-old Ford Escort instead."
What did they change the name of the Ford Bronco to when O.J. Simpson got acquitted?
The Ford Escape!
"I see the new Ford Bronco is coming out soon. I bet the glove compartment is absolutely killer."
Sitting in traffic today waiting for the light to change. The car in front of us was a Ford Focus. I turned to my daughter and said.. if that driver opens her door and steps out of the car, does she get all blurry? Because if she did, wouldn't she be "out of Focus?"
My friend is getting a new car - a "tangerine" Ford Focus. Dad drops this one...
Tangerine Focus... Isn't that the same as orange concentrate?
"My friend tries to impress girls by drawing realistic pictures of the Ford F-150. He is a pickup artist."
What does a Playboy Magazine and a Model T Ford have in common?
These days they're both hard to come by.
What did Darth Vader say when he was disappointed with his shipment from the Ford dealership?
There is no escape.
Ford announced today that they are discontinuing all but two of their cars... They've really lost their Focus.
American car companies have announced they are going 100% green. Starting with the Ford Ficus.
A man is texting and driving in his Ford by doing so he crashed and the car is totaled. You could say he lost his focus.
"It's insane that car companies, especially Ford, pay hundreds of millions to try to stay ahead of the game. I guess they can't a Ford to lose out."
"I bought a Ford 4WD and I instantly scratched it with my keys, I was just marking my Territory."
What’s the difference between a Ford and a shopping trolley?
A shopping trolley is much easier to push.
"My father works as a statistician at Ford. He must be pretty well-respected there, people are always asking for his autograph."
"My lucky day! I didn't have enough money for the Honda, but the dealership took pity on me and gave me an old Fiesta. I couldn't afford an Accord, but I was accorded a Ford."
"I just read a book about how Henry Ford created the Ford Model T. It was a really interesting auto-biography."
A car salesman asked me, "What are you looking for in a car?"
I said, "It has to be affordable"
He said, "I'm sorry sir, I've never heard of a Ford Ibble."
The cops arrested me when they found me beating a Ford with a golf club. "I was charged with domestic abuse."
Did you know there was a decision made by Ford to stop producing tow trucks?
They finally realized a tow truck couldn't be expected to tow itself.
Ford recalls nearly 1.4 million cars, the steering wheel can come loose. Is this Ford’s idea of a driverless car?
What’s the difference between a Ford and the principal’s office?
It’s less embarrassing if your friends see you leaving the principal’s office.
Why are the new Ford trucks and cars more aerodynamic?
So they’ll save the Chevy gas when it tows them away.
Why are there sidewalks beside streets?
So that Ford owners have a safe place to walk home.
Why are Ford dealers giving away a dog with each Ford sold?
So the owner has someone to walk home with.
In 1974, Volkswagen introduced the Golf to Europe as a small car with a trunk large enough to stuff your golf clubs… American companies would follow the success of this model, with Ford soon releasing the Escort in 1980.
"Tim Cook was just named as the new CEO of Ford, and I for one am really excited! Now everyone will have the chance to buy a Ford-Apple car."
"I just walked into a Lincoln dealership that was a Ford dealership, Ford store, and seven years ago."
Ford is now running a new promotion. Get a pupoy with the purchase of any Ford. That way you aren't walking back to the dealership alone.
Ford is now running a new promotion. Get a pupoy with the purchase of any Ford. That way you aren't walking back to the dealership alone.
