I remember when I was 18, I thought that the 16-year-old me was a dumb little boy. When I became 20, I felt the same way about my 18-year-old self. When I turned 22, same feeling about my 20-year-old self. And so it went until I became 26 when I finally started to feel like, yah, I’m an adult now, and I make good adult decisions. It just felt like it.
Well, this sudden realization of adulthood comes to all of us, whether in the form of a simple “huh, so that’s what it feels like” or in an epic divine intervention whereby God’s angelic servant descends from the clouds and gives you a slip of paper that says “Welcome to adulting, enjoy it”. Or anything in between.
And folks online have been sharing the former, the latter and the in between on Reddit lately. In particular, this all happened in a now-viral AskReddit thread that asked the question when is the first time you remember feeling like an adult?
Bored Panda gathered the best responses and stories and compiled an epic list for you to enjoy, upvote, and comment on below.
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When I got mad that they rearanged the grocery store
My least favorite part of moving isn't the packing/unpacking/moving furniture stuff....it's having to learn the layout of a new grocery store. That sh!t sucks!!!!!
I wanted to buy a box of fruit roll ups. But was feeling weird about it because as a kid we were not allowed to get it. It was to expensive and parents didn’t want to buy it. At some point While I was thinking about putting it down it dawned on me that I was a grown a*s man with my own income. I bought like 20 boxes.
Just after turning 16, mom was already in parts unknown for a few years and my dad left us for work in another state, I became legally emancipated by the state of New York. I filed for welfare to help pay my rent and received food stamps. Still had to work to cover the other half of bills. All while finishing my last 2.5 years of high school. I believe that's when I felt all adulty.
When I stopped going to bars and clubs. I was at some club that a friend was doing some promo work for, and I didn't want to go. It was 11pm on a Friday, and I had to find parking, and then the club was not doing well that night. I just saw a few people on the floor, I got hit on by someone that had more red flags than a Mao Zedong rally, sitting on a half-chair/half-barstool cutting off circulation to my swollen feet and ankles. Plus, I couldn't hear anyone worth s**t, and the mere thought of drinking may way through it went from "this is what you do to have fun" to "I shouldn't be drinking to force fun: s**t ain't fun, period. What a crock." And suddenly, I realized there was no FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) here. I used to attend so many things because of FOMO.
First weekend I spent in my apartment alone with no reason but not working. I did nothing. Nothing at all. I planned nothing. Before this epiphany, I would have seen this as a huge warning flag my life was the express headed to Losertown, but suddenly... I didn't give a S**T. And I felt like this immense release. I never understood why my dad did nothing on the weekends growing up, and suddenly, I got it.
Life has been so much better ever since. I felt like I stopped trying to be the "rebellion of youth" and a responsible adult for a change.
I woke up, opened the curtains and looked outside at a beautiful sunny day. I thought to myself "It's a great day to hang the washing out"
Then I instantly thought ach jeez I'm getting old.
My best friend's partner died abruptly one morning in under her eyes and she called me, and I had to sort myself out and step up for her. In that moment I thought "well we're not kids anymore and it's not a "my crush ignored me heeeelp" kind of teenage emergency, now you're an adult dealing with adult s**t". I helped her the best I can and I hope it made a difference for her it this hard time.
When I made my christmas wish-list and thought to myself:
"I could use some socks..."
Growing up our apartment caught fire. I remember running in and out of it, wearing just shorts (no time to put on clothes), because I knew we didn't have insurance and I had to get as much stuff out of it as possible so we didn't lose it. I remember running into my bedroom which was on fire to carry out my computer.
Looking back, that moment where I realized I risked my life and/or injury to avoid financial problems, was the day I think I really understood how the adult world works.
One day it somehow was wayyy too exciting when I went to a shop and found some really nice kitchenware that’s also easy to clean. That’s when I knew
I was broke and homeless and walking down the street and realized it was all up to me, and only me, to get out of that situation.
Ya know that drawer that has everything, shoe laces, batteries, twist ties, spare cords, "extra" hardware from "projects", bottle opener, deck o cards, bobby pin, yes, That drawer. When I moved out and realized I needed to make my own junk drawer was when it hit pretty hard.
You just made me realize that the junk drawer is more or less universally a "top drawer in the kitchen" situation. I can't think of anyone I know that has it anywhere else.
Load More Replies...When you realize that everyone's junk drawer contains exactly the same items.
Damn it! Do I need to go out and buy a purple octopus? I don't have one in my junk drawer 😢
Load More Replies...You don't make a junk drawer, they just grow naturally in a good home environment
Stage 2 of adulthood, which comes a couple of decades later, is when you realize that 90% of the junk drawer's contents literally is junk and should just be thrown away, and then you use the reclaimed space in the drawer to neatly and logically organize the remaining stuff.
Oh, damn. So, I've got to go through the flipping thing? Trouble is, it has string (will no doubt need at some point), lighter fuel for lighting candles, matches - those pesky candles again (am expecting power cuts!), lip salve, plasters (saves going to the bathroom when cutting fingers)... oh, it's all USEFUL! So, is it a genuine junk drawer in my case???
Load More Replies...My family is one step up, we have two junk drawers! One for random kitchen things, the other for rubber bands, twist ties, the rolling pin, ect.
"Kid, you do not just inherit the 'misc drawer'. You will rather create your own one with your personal touch, with that sense of uniqueness. My drawer will be no use to you as your drawer will be no use to your own kids someday. I can only show you the drawer but you must fill it on your own." - Mark Twain
My Grandma had such a drawer - and anotehr she always poured her change in, and later collected it when it had piled up. Eventually, she allowed us to take a bit of it to buy stuff from the crappy vending machine at the other side of the road. When, one new year's, some older kids had blown it open, we got to harvest it empty, which was pretty cool.
Mine is top left, I should probably organize that rn actually thanks for the reminder
On a related note: the collection of hardware. I forced myself for hours to re-sort the screws, washers, nuts, bolts etc that the movers jumbled, because I know that each and every piece is potentially a saved trip to the hardware store.
And you still do put some of things your parents put in that drawer that drove you bonkers back in the day
The top three drawers of my grandma's dresser was our junk drawers oh and the top drawer of each nightstand.. now I have my own junk drawer top right in my kitchen... I miss the days being a kid and the wonders of what I would find in the junk drawer cuz you never know what you were going to pull out 😆
Have a junk drawer in every room. It's a blessing. Kitchen tools junk. Arts and crafts junk. DIY tools junk. School stuff junk. Everything else junk. And a button tin. Very useful for kids and grandkids when the time comes.
I knew I was an adult the day the judge said "We're trying you as an adult."
When i realized nobody can stop me from buying a jar of nutella and then just eat it with a spoon. Obviously not the entire thing in one sitting but something about being able to do almost anything with no universe popup being like *you sure dude?* made me feel like an adult.
I love yen addition of "obviously not the whole thing at once." The whole internet knows that there is no way you (or pretty much anyone) hasn't done it at least once. :)
I work with children with special needs, there was a time that a decision needed to be made about a child’s school placement, and everyone in the room was waiting for my opinion (including parents). That was a really weird feeling, and the first time I realised I was an adult in other peoples eyes.
The first time I felt properly old, was when I had a manager who was younger than me (now had a couple).
Having to sort out some problems with my father’s mental health was also a weird experience, that definitely made me realise that I’m not a child anymore.
But honestly, I still feel like a child despite being 40 and balding.
Setting up a doctor's appointment and going by myself.
When I started feeling alienated from my peers because their common problems were just minor inconveniences in my eyes.
When I was buying my own groceries and had survived for two weeks on my own. I figured I must be doing it right since I wasn’t feeling hungry or diminished.
I did my first solo grocery trip at age 17. Forgot I didn't have a car. Tried carrying four bags of groceries while walking back to my apartment. It was really awkward.
In college, I was with some friends at a party and one of them fell and busted his face so badly, he started bleeding badly. I went looking for someone to do something when I realized I was the only sober one there. Not a fun night or feeling.
When I got *excited* about buying a couch. It was decent, not like super expensive leather, but nice looking. I feel the same way still, nearly 20 years later, whenever I buy stuff like that. I bought a washer and dryer set a few years ago and remember commenting to a friend that it still feels weird doing these adult things and still looking forward to them.
The first day I moved out of parents house. I didn’t have toilet paper or food or drinks. That’s when reality hit
Truly felt like an adult? When I brought my son home from the hospital. I was 26. Everything up until the felt like small potatoes adulthood.
When I saw people younger than me waste time on dead relationships, partying and dead end jobs. I realised I was now able to see the bigger picture and quite literally felt so old and responsible.
The picture keeps getting bigger with every decade and I kinda like it that your look on life keeps changing.
When I was shopping and a man said to their kid, "watch the lady" so that they would budge.
The day I paid my taxes online. I know I overpaid, but getting it out of the way and doing it by myslef felt good. I was an adult now I have full goddam credence to complain about the government.
The first time I didn’t have to ask for permission to go out
Post aside, that girls hair makes me really nervous so close to the wheel spokes.
First time my electricity got turned off and I was like “oh s**t! Bills!”
It's been fairly recently. I always felt like a kid, even for those few short years that I've been an adult.
I was at work, passing by a mirror. I glanced at it, and walked back to it, because I had dandruffs on my shoulders, and wanted to see if I brushed them off properly. As I finished brushing them off, I noticed that some of them got stuck in my beard. I took a closer look at my beard, and there it was- my face. And the realization hit me like a brick covered in lemon juice.
There are a lot of gray hairs in my beard now. My hair used to be always short, and now it grew all the way to my shoulders in what seems to be like a month. I have circles under my eyes. I am currently trying to go from a part-timer to a full-time employee. I am not the youngest employee in my work anymore. In fact, I helped to train a few part-timers myself. I help my mom pay bills. My sister had moved away a few years ago. I am not as interested in video games as I used to be. I lack energy most days. My body hurts a lot more than it used to. My nicotine and alcohol consumption is out of control (nicotine pouches, vape, snorting tobacco). Some friends from primary and secondary school became bald.
And I'm only 22. I was so afraid of becoming an adult... and here it is. I feel no different, and yet, I am scared and lost. Time is getting faster. A few years ago, a year seemed like an eternity. I'd wait for my birthday, Halloween, Christmas, and it'd take too long. Now it all seems to just fly right past me in the blink of an eye. Years are shorter, months are becoming weeks, days are starting to melt together into the same routine separated only by a brief sleep. I am losing connections to my old friends.
It's weird.
Truly felt like THE adult at my father's funeral.
Lenny Henry said he thought he was grown up when he had a child, but it hit him when his mother died because he wasn't anyone's kid any more
A long time ago my child (about 1 at the time) could not sleep and he wanted to sit with me and a visiting friend and I said something like: " so you want to sit with the grown up people?" and it hit me. I was the grown up people. I was in my late 20s at the time.
The milestones of living on my own, marriage and such were long past then, but with my own child it really hit me. Adult. Responsible. Grown Up
Starting my first full-time 9-5 job.
It hits you that you can't sleep away the day and start working on your tasks at 10 PM.
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When i watched the opening credits of a music award show and didn't recognise a single name. I felt adult and old.
Same for me with most TV "stars" and movie stars. Don't know who they are, and I am not interested in their films or shows.
Load More Replies...When I was 25 and could finally rent a car without any additional fees! I know that also put me out of the running to date Leonardo DiCaprio but you win some, you lose some!
When they stopped asking me for ID when buying booze and lotto tickets at the shop.
I remember this happening to me also. It was nice getting carded. Then I hit 45 yrs old and I must have morphed into an old person cause that was the age of finally realizing I am old
Load More Replies...Couple of ways for me. 1, when i stopped being interested in any kind of theme park or rides. Even the idea of it is a little torturous. I don't mind games and fairs, but going to Six Flags or Disney holds absolutely no interest to me as an adult. 2. When i started getting annoyed by neighbors and noise. I really get angry when neighbors have cookouts or any kind of get togethers because I just want peace and quiet. I felt like a mean old lady the first time I thought about how mad I was hearing the kids screaming and running around. and 3. when i started thinking seriously about home ownership. When you start saving and thinking about taking on that kind of responsibility, it really makes you feel like an adult. But... I still feel like I'm 30 mentally. I think no one ever really goes over the age of 30 in their minds. It's only their bodies that age from there, lol. My 99 yr old gramma still feels like she's 25 or so even though her body is broken down.
I'm 26 in my head though my body is 64. But my 86 year old mother is 18 in her head. Inexplicable.
Load More Replies...When my mum's alcohol problem got so bad I was the one feeding younger siblings, cleaning the house, working etc.
I still don't feel like an adult. Almost 40... But! I felt really old when I went to a neurology clinic and the doctor who treated me was a former classmate.
I left home and had kids of my own without ever feeling adult. The thing that first got me was when my new Dr was the same age as my kids... Even worse when our first grandkid was born. I guess it's time to take life seriously now?
Have a few moments. The one I remember the most was when my mom died (my father was already dead, same with sister) and I had to deal with grief and all planning with her funeral and take care of all her stuff alone. I was almost 30 (and a parent myself) so I should have been an adult but it really hit me how alone I was and I didn't know who to ask for help (had no other relatives and was newly divorced). I always tell people to learn how to deal with the aftermath before someone dies now (if you can), it can really come as a surprise how many practical issues there is to think of if you are unprepared and in full grief-mode. And it could cost you.
19yo I was kicked out and rented a room from my sister (shared the room with my toddler nephews). Couldn't find work and ran through my small savings in 4 months. Mom said I could move home if I followed her laundry list of conditions. Boiled down to be a perfect christian girl. Told her I'd rather live in a cardboard box in downtown LA. Sis said I could stay as long as I needed. I'm too proud to take charity, so I chose to grow up.
Permanently - not yet. First time temporarily in fall of 1998, when my Dad had a minor stroke and I had to threaten the doorman in the hospital to recognize us being an emergency, although we did use the front door. Happened on the way back from vacation, a few miles from home, so we drove there ourselves, as calling an ambulance with the hospital in sight is pretty pointless waste of time. Symptoms went away on their own, but if they hadn't, that messed up excuse of a hospital would NOT have done ANYTHING, unless you threatened them. The doorman ... the doctors ... yes, I did scream into a doctor's face telling him if my Dad won't survive that day, neither would he if he doesn't the eff start DOING something. Some people really have an audacity I'm not even jealous of the capability to ....... that exact hospital is pretty infamous already, and hadn't wronged him the first time then, it was just the closest by and we didn't know how bad it was, so decided to hurry.
There had been several "I'm an adult now" moments before, but the one that really hit me big was buying a washing machine.
When I was working at a small truck-stop restaurant as a third-shift dishwasher, living in a room without a fan. Had to do everything myself. In hindsight, it was a miserable, lonely existence. 46 years later, things are a bit better.
I feel like generally, an emergency with one of your kids brings out the adult in you more than just about anything. Papa or Mama bear get grown real fast when one of the cubs need a trip to the ER.
This hit hard but brought back the absolute joy (and scared in a good way feeling) of moving into my first place alone. Sitting in the empty living room of my empty apartment in a fold away camping chair because I had bought furniture but it hadn't been delivered yet. Thoughts of what laid ahead of me dancing in my head. That isn't the moment I felt like an adult though. When the realization that I didn't have any more "firsts" to look forward to kicked the door in. When all of the boxes had been ticked on the "be a grown up" list. That "aww fu*k" moment was what confirmed adulthood for me. Maybe I'm just seriously depressed. Maybe depression is adulthood lol.
Looking forward to bin day, I realized I am not just an adult but old with no life.
Mine was when I was over-the-moon excited to get a over-the-sink dish rack for Christmas
I was 19ish, fresh out of basic training, and at a house party of one of my new coworkers. Their kids wanted to play on the trampoline, and the parents said, "only if you can find a grown-up to stay outside with you"...and then they turned to me. Blew my mind :D :D :D
I'm in my 40s and still feel uncomfortable calling myself a "man". I'm male. Kids say "that man". I'm more comfortable with "guy" or "dude" or "bloke" ...
My first nursing job. It was on night shift, so there aren’t a lot of people who would be of immediate help around. I realize that I am responsible for 26 lives.
When I went out to dinner with my family and my sister said, "I know you're used to everyone else paying for your restaurant tab, and I know you earn less than the rest of us, but you should offer to pay for everyone else at least once."
My twins are about to be the same age as when I had them and I can’t handle that
I'm 28, been married for 7 years, and most of the time I still feel like I'm not an adult. I think the most grown up I've felt yet was buying my first new car in 2020.
When i watched the opening credits of a music award show and didn't recognise a single name. I felt adult and old.
Same for me with most TV "stars" and movie stars. Don't know who they are, and I am not interested in their films or shows.
Load More Replies...When I was 25 and could finally rent a car without any additional fees! I know that also put me out of the running to date Leonardo DiCaprio but you win some, you lose some!
When they stopped asking me for ID when buying booze and lotto tickets at the shop.
I remember this happening to me also. It was nice getting carded. Then I hit 45 yrs old and I must have morphed into an old person cause that was the age of finally realizing I am old
Load More Replies...Couple of ways for me. 1, when i stopped being interested in any kind of theme park or rides. Even the idea of it is a little torturous. I don't mind games and fairs, but going to Six Flags or Disney holds absolutely no interest to me as an adult. 2. When i started getting annoyed by neighbors and noise. I really get angry when neighbors have cookouts or any kind of get togethers because I just want peace and quiet. I felt like a mean old lady the first time I thought about how mad I was hearing the kids screaming and running around. and 3. when i started thinking seriously about home ownership. When you start saving and thinking about taking on that kind of responsibility, it really makes you feel like an adult. But... I still feel like I'm 30 mentally. I think no one ever really goes over the age of 30 in their minds. It's only their bodies that age from there, lol. My 99 yr old gramma still feels like she's 25 or so even though her body is broken down.
I'm 26 in my head though my body is 64. But my 86 year old mother is 18 in her head. Inexplicable.
Load More Replies...When my mum's alcohol problem got so bad I was the one feeding younger siblings, cleaning the house, working etc.
I still don't feel like an adult. Almost 40... But! I felt really old when I went to a neurology clinic and the doctor who treated me was a former classmate.
I left home and had kids of my own without ever feeling adult. The thing that first got me was when my new Dr was the same age as my kids... Even worse when our first grandkid was born. I guess it's time to take life seriously now?
Have a few moments. The one I remember the most was when my mom died (my father was already dead, same with sister) and I had to deal with grief and all planning with her funeral and take care of all her stuff alone. I was almost 30 (and a parent myself) so I should have been an adult but it really hit me how alone I was and I didn't know who to ask for help (had no other relatives and was newly divorced). I always tell people to learn how to deal with the aftermath before someone dies now (if you can), it can really come as a surprise how many practical issues there is to think of if you are unprepared and in full grief-mode. And it could cost you.
19yo I was kicked out and rented a room from my sister (shared the room with my toddler nephews). Couldn't find work and ran through my small savings in 4 months. Mom said I could move home if I followed her laundry list of conditions. Boiled down to be a perfect christian girl. Told her I'd rather live in a cardboard box in downtown LA. Sis said I could stay as long as I needed. I'm too proud to take charity, so I chose to grow up.
Permanently - not yet. First time temporarily in fall of 1998, when my Dad had a minor stroke and I had to threaten the doorman in the hospital to recognize us being an emergency, although we did use the front door. Happened on the way back from vacation, a few miles from home, so we drove there ourselves, as calling an ambulance with the hospital in sight is pretty pointless waste of time. Symptoms went away on their own, but if they hadn't, that messed up excuse of a hospital would NOT have done ANYTHING, unless you threatened them. The doorman ... the doctors ... yes, I did scream into a doctor's face telling him if my Dad won't survive that day, neither would he if he doesn't the eff start DOING something. Some people really have an audacity I'm not even jealous of the capability to ....... that exact hospital is pretty infamous already, and hadn't wronged him the first time then, it was just the closest by and we didn't know how bad it was, so decided to hurry.
There had been several "I'm an adult now" moments before, but the one that really hit me big was buying a washing machine.
When I was working at a small truck-stop restaurant as a third-shift dishwasher, living in a room without a fan. Had to do everything myself. In hindsight, it was a miserable, lonely existence. 46 years later, things are a bit better.
I feel like generally, an emergency with one of your kids brings out the adult in you more than just about anything. Papa or Mama bear get grown real fast when one of the cubs need a trip to the ER.
This hit hard but brought back the absolute joy (and scared in a good way feeling) of moving into my first place alone. Sitting in the empty living room of my empty apartment in a fold away camping chair because I had bought furniture but it hadn't been delivered yet. Thoughts of what laid ahead of me dancing in my head. That isn't the moment I felt like an adult though. When the realization that I didn't have any more "firsts" to look forward to kicked the door in. When all of the boxes had been ticked on the "be a grown up" list. That "aww fu*k" moment was what confirmed adulthood for me. Maybe I'm just seriously depressed. Maybe depression is adulthood lol.
Looking forward to bin day, I realized I am not just an adult but old with no life.
Mine was when I was over-the-moon excited to get a over-the-sink dish rack for Christmas
I was 19ish, fresh out of basic training, and at a house party of one of my new coworkers. Their kids wanted to play on the trampoline, and the parents said, "only if you can find a grown-up to stay outside with you"...and then they turned to me. Blew my mind :D :D :D
I'm in my 40s and still feel uncomfortable calling myself a "man". I'm male. Kids say "that man". I'm more comfortable with "guy" or "dude" or "bloke" ...
My first nursing job. It was on night shift, so there aren’t a lot of people who would be of immediate help around. I realize that I am responsible for 26 lives.
When I went out to dinner with my family and my sister said, "I know you're used to everyone else paying for your restaurant tab, and I know you earn less than the rest of us, but you should offer to pay for everyone else at least once."
My twins are about to be the same age as when I had them and I can’t handle that
I'm 28, been married for 7 years, and most of the time I still feel like I'm not an adult. I think the most grown up I've felt yet was buying my first new car in 2020.