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This Instagram Page Is Dedicated To The Weirdest And Funniest Texts From Family And Here Are 50 Of The Best Ones
With smartphones becoming a thing within the last 10-15 years, we can safely assure you that a whole new realm of humiliation has emerged with the advancement of technology and communication, especially with the rise of social media platforms. As much as we try to avoid it, sometimes when typing a text, we tend to misspell something or even misunderstand the message we received from the person on the other end.
However, sometimes small mistakes, misunderstandings, and a sprinkle of some family drama make up for some of the most entertaining conversations. An Instagram account by the name of "yourshi*tyfamily" collects funny texts between family members and is a perfect example of that.
From dad jokes to moms sending their children some outdated memes, this page is a gold mine for cringe and hilarious content.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Sarah SH 3 years ago
My father put my mother down in his will to be the one to decide to pull the plug or not if he is in a hospital someday with only machines keeping him alive. (He wants the plug pulled). They divorced twenty years ago and still hate each other so he knows she would definitely be able to do it.
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#2
Paulo Freitas 3 years ago
This reminds me of an interview a French repórter was doing to random couples ( if they where good listener and payed atention to details, stuff like that ), and at One point he starts interviewing this couple, puts the noise cancelation " phones " in the husband, and talks to the wife, and One of the questions was " where did you had sex the last time ", She gets very embaraced turns red and goes " in the a*s ", repórter also turns red, takes the phones from the husband and asks the same question, dude goes " in the kitchen "....
Sarah SH 3 years ago
In my family we wouldn’t have to ask which Grandma. It’s ALWAYS Grandma Mary with this kind of stuff…
Vasana Phong 3 years ago
I remember when we were young my mom would walk around in her bra, one day we came home from school with 2 friends as she was doing her bills in her bra, I’ve never seen my mom run so fast upstairs
Alison Hell 3 years ago
Must have been a comfortable bra...most arent and lots of us take those things off and let the girls hang loose as soon as we get home.
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Fluffy mommy panda 3 years ago
Like why would I ask which boob. Oh okay I gusse that important too.........
#3
Headless Roach 3 years ago (edited)
Neeeeear, faaaaar, whereeeeever you areeeee 🎶 And the chicken sinks like the Titanic
Some black giirrrrllll 3 years ago
I can't be the only one who sang the "And the chicken sinks..." part... right?
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ThisIsMe 3 years ago
Me to husband: Can you run to store and get some chicken? Husband: Yes, great chance to drive my car and see how it is running (a 1975 Porsche 914 that he rebuilt). More than an hour goes by, store is less than 10 minutes away. Husband walks in door, excited: The car is running great! What a fabulous drive! Me: Where is my chicken? Silence. Husband: I'll be back shortly.
Fluffy mommy panda 3 years ago
Lo thou said nice try. But thou forgot to layeth the chicken out
The Instagram page has a whopping 923K followers seeking to get their daily dose of family drama and misunderstandings. The account posts the best encounters with parents (usually) and other family members demonstrating they are the world's greatest comedians, taking typically ordinary chats between family members and making them absolutely spectacular.
#4
Headless Roach 3 years ago
My wife always complains that I never buy her flowers. But I did not know she was selling any.
Oncinw 3 years ago (edited)
As an expat in Albania I can guarantee that she didn't get it 100%. Post services are s****y here. Do your research next time and choose more advanced country to send your flowers to 😂
Alditekim 3 years ago
She did say, "random woman". Doesn't matter who got it. :))
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Kat Min 3 years ago
Flowers on women's day. Sigh. Come on, peeps, this is about POWER not decoration. Ask for higher wages, not fcking flowers!
Ahimsa Soul 3 years ago
True. But it's symbolic. Like carnations on April 24th in Portugal. The carnations themselves do not bring all the achievements people fought for, but it's symbolic reminder of we aim as a nation. Symbols are important too. I know that in Italy it's a specific flower (yellow) they celebrate IWD. Any Italian Pandas out there who can confirm please?
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Sean Martin 3 years ago
You're. If you have to say "you are" it's "you're". This is so simple and yet intelligent people get it wrong all the time. Drives me crazy.
#5
Just_for_this 3 years ago (edited)
My toddler has discovered this song thanks to Trolls 2. Guess what she asks Alexa to play at 7AM every morning.
Carole 3 years ago
Wait isn't the other person joking, too? Like pretending not to know the song so the texter would repeat "who let the dogs out" so the textee could reply "I thought you did". Or am I the only one seeing that?
Christmas love 3 years ago
I just came to the comments to see if anyone else picked up on this!! Why would the response be “who let the dogs out” when the original texter said s/he was letting the dogs out, so why ask who let the dogs out if they weren’t looking for that response?
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WindySwede 3 years ago
I know it's not this. But this came to mind Slappy Squirrel - Who's on Stage? https://youtu.be/Mdqv5xIsFLM?t=13
#6
Hobby Hopper 3 years ago
How do they think we got the common abbreviations in the first place? Someone randomly made them up, and they stuck. For every well known one, there are probably 1000 that silently died in anonymity.
Rosa Visger 3 years ago
I agree. In fact, that’s often how almost every language forms and evolves.
Load More Replies... Distracted Serpent 3 years ago
You got me to go back and read it because I had mentally skipped it the first time and now I'm RWL
Load More Replies... Marleinah Smith 3 years ago (edited)
I felt something touch my left cheek just before I got up from my chair to go to the bedroom...I IMMEDIATELY slapped whatever tf it was, without hurting myself, and then went to inspect in the bathroom mirror what I may have killed....saw nothing. It could have been a spider visiting me from the ceiling, it could have been my own hair...I will never know. Lol. I just went to sleep.
Ahimsa Soul 3 years ago
Mom's know best. I was reading this and thinking, oh know another acronym in English I dunno... and then... ah! Nobody knows! Nobody expects Mom's acronyms!!!
Ahimsa Soul 3 years ago
It's past midnight in Portugal. Please ignore typos. Moms*.... oh no*.
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Lazy PANda (she/they) 3 years ago
My friend has made up an acronym too: SOHL (sobbing of hysterical laughter)
From a mom acknowledging her sense of fashion might not be the best (to the point of thinking that if something looks cool in her eyes, then it probably needs to be burned on a stake) to children forgetting to thaw the chicken and trying to make their way out of it, this page has you covered for every life situation you might find yourself in. It's taking relatable to a whole new level.
#7
Couldnt_find_a_decent_name 3 years ago
The mom’s got a squid by her name lol. Someone call Zara!
OnAFreakingRollercoaster 3 years ago
Yeah but it Would be effective at covering up period-butt 🤷🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
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ScrapieChick 3 years ago
Just laughed hot coffee through my nose laughing at this......worth it
funkybluegirl 3 years ago
Yes. This is not a memory that goes away easily, though I don't miss it. lol
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#8
Snorkeldorf 3 years ago
When I was in my early thirties, I was gift shopping. Found a really cute, stylish sweater and decided to purchase it for myself. Long line to pay because of the holidays and there were two teenage girls in front of me. I noticed one was also buying the same sweater and I congratulated myself on being so in tune with current fashions. That is until she said to her friend "This sweater is the perfect gift. I think my mom's gonna love it." Oh well.
Chich 3 years ago
Think of it this way - when you were 15 would have wanted fashion advice from an ancient 45 year old?
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Fluffy mommy panda 3 years ago
At least.....she honest. Wow. I can't see the picture but I've seen some older women with great style. And looking good.
#9
Raena Celis 3 years ago
That's hilarious! Although my dad would've grounded my 41 year old @ss if I busted the f word in our communication
And the best thing about this page? Well, they accept submissions from real-life people just like you and I, so the texts that do get posted are things that actually happened and just got re-shared by the Instagram page. So if you think you have some hilarious texts between your... mom/dad/siblings/step-siblings/uncles/aunts/grandparents and even cousins you visit once a year during a family gathering, well, you better make that submission right now!
#10
Headless Roach 3 years ago
"Hiya kids. Here is an important message from your Uncle Bill. Don't buy drugs. Become a pop star, and they give you them for free!"
Monday 3 years ago
I'm still disappointed no strangers offered me free drugs after school.
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Nadine Debard 3 years ago
Cool guys do have cool stories, with or without drugs involved /s
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Dana Ondráčková 3 years ago
My mom tried to lock my dad out to get him to socialisté with his buddies at pub And tried to force my sisters to party out😂nothing worked. My dad came home And she yelled "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HOME?!!" And he whispered " I Want show guys xyz" And then she for ed him out And locked the door saying he is nit welcomed home u till ať leaset 9pm😂😂😂
Elizabeth Anderson 3 years ago
This is the relationship those of us in Gen X have with Gen Z. Why aren't you drinking more? I swear to God kids these days are not drinking and having sex and doing drugs. What is wrong with them?!?
Cara G 3 years ago
Yes! Gen X here and my Gen Z niece and I have a monthly Talk and Toke phone date. She's awesome.
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Lupita Nyong'heaux 3 years ago
did mom actually boo her child cuz she wouldn't do drugs??? that's awesome!!! 🤣😂🤣
#11
MarjorieGuy 3 years ago
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#12
Melanie Schmidt 3 years ago
I also wear two different shoes, way too hard to fit into one anymore
Vasana Phong 3 years ago
I’ve actually put my shoes and coat on, looked down and forgot the pants
Let’s Be Kind 3 years ago
I hear ya! I’m so absent minded sometimes. I drive halfway to work and look down in relief to see that I DID put a shirt on! Eesh.
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CHRISTY SMITH 3 years ago (edited)
I put on my shoes and went to work - while at work I kept smelling something weird, like it burned my nose hairs. My f*****g cat had pissed in my shoe and I got to spend 8+ hours smelling cat p**s ... well, I worked in an office so I guess I should say that we collectively suffered all day smelling f*****g cat p**s. I threw those shoes away - OUTSIDE - as soon as I got home. That cat was the damn devil with his bipolar self.
Julie Zugz 3 years ago
I have done this, at least twice. Once with 2 difference sneakers that i grabbed out of my dark closet and once with 2 different sandals that i grabbed in a panic on the way to an emergency vet exam. So embarrassing!
CarlWasHere/BubblesRKool 3 years ago
My Dad once did this at his old job and didn't realize until I pointed it out to him.
With that being said, the 'unspirational' page "yourshi*tyfamily" has over 1,468 posts on Instagram. So all of us can find joy in our mundane lives knowing that our family might not be the craziest one out there (or is it?).
Tell us, Pandas, what strange, bizarre or even awkwardly hilarious texts have you received from your family? We'd love for you to share your stories in the comments as well!
#13
Monday 3 years ago
Yup, this is something my mother would send me. I have a fun mom.
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Jaaawn 3 years ago
I dunno, it's pretty precious to make someone smile (especially these days when there ain't much to smile about.) Even if it is dark humour you gotta take it when you can!
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#14
Anyone-for-tea? 3 years ago
Sorry to hear that. Can this random internet stranger do anything to help?
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Jonn Thundergun 3 years ago
My Gma was like that after my Gpa passed away. I felt bad every time I asked her how she was doing and she would just reply with "I wish I would hurry up and die already". I would always say "No Gma we love you and don't want you to die". The part that made me really realize how she felt was the time she just looked down and said. "I want to see my Gene". Gene is my Gpa that passed in '07 after 20 years battling leukemia. I stopped asking her after that and just tried to see her smile as often as possible. She passed away in 2020 due to covid. I hope her and my Gpa are happy together once again.
Max 3 years ago
I see.. a person with chill vibes and most likely on antidepressants. >=)
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FlatEarf 3 years ago
What does Gma stand for? My best guess is good morning asshol.e and I feel like that's wrong
Elizabeth Butler 2 years ago
When we visited our 96-yr old neighbor in the nursing home, she asked "Why am I still here?" She didn't mean in the home.
#15
#16
KittyGotClaws 3 years ago
Little Miss Muffett sat on a hornet this morning.
Load More Replies... Veronica Michelle 3 years ago
“Please do not be like this” Grandma is used to Maddie’s quips 😆
Cyber Returns 3 years ago
YOU APOLOGIZE TO GRANDMA NOW MADDIE YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE SH*T! Poor Grandma
NamiKoa 3 years ago
Knowing grandmas she might not unterstand that her number isn't automatically updated on other people's phones and assumed Maddie knew who was writing her.
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Potato Puffin 3 years ago
Context for the non-Brits: "do you want beef?" Or "you got beef?" Means "whats your problem?" Or "we're going to fight"
Alex S 3 years ago
Except if you're a woman and some random texts you asking if you want beef, I'd assume it was a pervert asking if I want his d!ck
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Tuna Beach 3 years ago
Grandma should have been proud of Maddie. Some lameass dude text to see if you want the beef.... DO be like this!
G҉A҉C҉H҉A҉ A҉L҉E҉X҉ 3 years ago
As a person who goes by two names (first one is Maddie) I choose 🤌🏻✨
ThatNerdZoe 3 years ago
Yoo I also go by two names!! (I'm genderfluid lol)
Load More Replies... #17
Crystal Spencer 3 years ago (edited)
My kids and I joke like this all the time. All but 1 of my kids were unplanned, including the bonus kids....I spend my days doting on them while jokingly trying to convince them I never loved or wanted them. They think it's hilarious. It's just for fun. I would d!e for those kids without a 2nd thought.
didiask ratio rekt 3 years ago
am i the only one who wants to know what that other message notification is?
rodger coghlan 3 years ago
All my life my mom told me I was a diaphragm baby - she didn't want me either
#18
Crystal Spencer 3 years ago
I told my old lady friend it meant "we are powerful " and they play that song daily at her senior center...I feel so bad but I'm in too deep now
BasedWang12.7 3 years ago (edited)
Lmao but did the friends ask questions or show up willingly cuuuuuzzz.....
Andy James 3 years ago
Did everyone turn up with their tablets, portable WiFi dongles and phones?
#19
Alex S 3 years ago
What? How is it scamming? Hotel don't give a s**t if it's your anniversary or not. They're not checking marriage licences. You're just salty you never thought to do it
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Daniel-Teodor Circa 3 years ago
No if it was an all exclusive 5 stars hotel. I might be wrong because I have no experience.
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ginger a. freckleburger 3 years ago (edited)
No don't pull the cow in this too :( the cow is innocent
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Riley Quinn 3 years ago
This works at 6 Flags. Got to ride all the roller coasters in the front seats repeatedly.
#20
Lupita Nyong'heaux 3 years ago
man, judging by these entries, there are some savage a*s moms roaming out here in the wild...🤣😂🤣
#21
Robert T 3 years ago
I have CDO. It's like OCD, but all the letters are in the right order, like they should be!
Carol Emory 3 years ago
I have a magnet on my fridge that says "You remind me of my husband except you're not buried in the backyard."
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Daydreaming in the dark 3 years ago
i don't even know what the heck is wrong with me but i relate to this in someway
Jessica J. 3 years ago
Fibromyalgia, Sciatica, Endometriosis, and PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder)...
Lily from England 3 years ago
The poster would need to be longer, to fit my conditions on it. 🤣
#22
Lsai Aeon 3 years ago
It used to taste like eating a sand castle. I was diagnosed Celiac almost 20 years ago, it's gotten better
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Pink kitty 3 years ago
Who's the guy in the top photo? He looks familiar but I can't place him
#23
PlatinumTheCat 2 years ago
Who doesn’t like raccoons? Other than this jerk
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KindredKiller 3 years ago
Awww I feel bad for both the mom and the raccoon. Who says "ew" to a cute emoji tho wth
#24
Monday 3 years ago
Well Jesus turned water into wine right? So clearly he's okay with the drinking thing!
Nathaniel Garrett 3 years ago
In his time, most water was probably pretty dirty, so most alcohol was probably healthier than water. And also they were okay with the drinking thing.
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Michelle C 3 years ago
I can only imagine how embarrassed the kid must’ve been, but it’s also good that he or she was confident admitting his condition. I figure he and his dad must be close.
JenniB 3 years ago
After my youngest child's Communion (which was with about 25 kids total) the priest told me he was going back into his rectory where a bottle of bourbon was calling his name. I don't think the dad here knows as much about his religion as he thinks he does...
SoozeeQ 3 years ago
I'm not Catholic, but I've heard that a lot of priests are alcoholics from drinking all the leftover communion wine.
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BLONDTROBL 2 years ago
Reminds me of Angela's Ashes, when his grandma makes him ask the priest what to do because he threw up his communion wafer in her backyard. The priest tells him: tell her to wash it with water. She sends the boy back into the confessional: holy water or tap water father?
xolitaire 3 years ago
Jesus invited himself to weddings and handed out wine. I think you're good.
Superninjatiger 3 years ago
I puked in the church bathroom once because I realized that the coffin that was going to be brought in had my dead grandfathers body in it.
#25
Monday 3 years ago
Or pick a date you can't possibly forget...my parents were married on July 4th. We're not American, so it's not a significant date here but it's also impossible to forget.
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ToGo 3 years ago
I don't blame him. I'm only early 30s and I can't remember important dates for the life of me. Have to put everything in my calendar. Even then I struggle to remember to put everything in my calendar.
David Martin 3 years ago
I know I'm a horrible person, but I would intentionally give the wrong date then sit back and watch the world burn
Upstaged75 3 years ago
My dad asked me to discretely find out the birthday of one of his sisters. I asked his other sister. I had to swear her to secrecy. She thought it was hilarious.
Pizzagirl 91 3 years ago
I'd just ask the person directly, and if they are offended, I'd say "no, I know the day and month, I want to put the year in my calendar, for anniversaries etc.". Then I'd do exactly that, but for most of my family, those things are already in the data base.
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#26
ToGo 3 years ago
I'd talk to my family no matter who I'm with. If I have time to look at my phone I have time to find out what they need. I know there's a day when they won't call any more and don't want to regret just not making a little time for them.
gas station cola 3 years ago (edited)
same goes for friends, though. if you constantly push them to the side & make them feel unimportant they'll leave you, & you'll regret not prioritizing them when you're literally spending time together to supposedly hang out. casual chat with dad can wait an hour, he'll understand if you're busy, & if he doesn't understand the need for a social life outside of family, he's probably not the kind of dad you wanna keep contact with anyway. chilling at home? yeah, call dad back. out with friends? dude, set boundaries & find a healthy balance.
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Terra Raizor 3 years ago
Or they're following the lessons they were taught of not talking on the phone in front of company.
Ahimsa Soul 3 years ago
I always, always answer my Mom's texts. She's a bit hard of hearing so she prefers long WhatsApp messages rather than calling. I prefer it too, to be honest. If I'm busy at the office I'll just send a smile emoji, and she'll answer back saying whether or not it's urgent. If it's super important she calls. Well, a couple of months ago I took more than 12 hours to answer, and I got 2 phone calls one from my brother in law and another from my boyfriend, casually asking if I was OK. "Your Mom says you didn't answer her text...". Mom later explained it had been a really warm day and she thought I had heatstroke or one of my horrible migraines. Poor Mom (I usually turn off my phone if I'm not OK and text her: took my medication, in bed, going to turn off the phone). Since I didn't answer she thought "oh poor Ahimsa she's too unwell to even answer". So she had her "spies" to check up on me. Not just any spies, the spies she knew would not take forever to answer. My siblings will take days to answer.
Daniel-Teodor Circa 3 years ago
Just talk with him. Make them jealous on a healthy Father-Kid relationship. Don't give him details just talk with him. Tell him you gonna stay a little bit more with your friends and that you are OK and that you have fun. If he grew you good and invested enough time and energy into you then he have nothing to worry about but still want to talk with you.
Sarah SH 3 years ago
See my teenage kids never even bother with texting a reason why they ignored my call. They just don’t answer…ever…unless they want something…
XRaine 3 years ago
wow, if i didnt call my mom back she would come find me in person or call the police 🥲
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#27
couch potato 3 years ago
my moms name in my phone is "magic portal that birthed me"
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TheEndIsNigh🇨🇦and🇬🇧in🇺🇲 3 years ago
Mine is listed as "The Zohan" lol. She's pretty bad-a*s though, so she's earned it 😁
Duck Duck Panda 3 years ago
Wait but how.. so there are no blue ticks so the mum hasn’t seen the messages but they’ve replied… im confused pls help And yes I do that I am terrified of spiders
AutumnSong2009 3 years ago
This is what I’ll be messaging my parents if I ever get a house/apartment/anything
#28
David Martin 3 years ago
And you can never tell jokes to a kleptomaniac because they take everything, literally
Lizzy Abbey (she/they) 3 years ago
how do you know when a joke becomes a dad joke?..........................................................................When it becomes apparent
#29
Richard Coy 3 years ago
When I got my first tattoo my mum didn't speak to me for 8 weeks... it was very peaceful
Katy McMouse 3 years ago
When I got my first tattoo, I walked in the door and my mum knew. No one knew I was going to get it, but somehow, she just knew it. Her momdar was frighteningly accurate.
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2x4b523p 3 years ago
My mom paid for my tattoo but my grandfather wrote me out of his will when he found out, because apparently only criminals have tattoos. He left everything to my cousin who also has a tattoo, just managed to hide it better lol.
Old Roadie 3 years ago
Had tats 50 years, designed to show only when I was surfing. When I mentioned design for my next tattoo would probably be a sleeve celebrating my year-long Walkabout, one of my grandkids lost their mind. WHAT?! You can't get tattoos! You're a great-grandma!! Sigh. Can hardly wait until he finds out I owned a Harley and taught disco. 🎶 ah ah ah ah staying aliiiiive 💃 🎶
BG 3 years ago
Most places in the US, you have to be 18 to get a tattoo. What they don't tell you is that ANYONE can buy tattoo equipment online. My 16 year old daughter came out of her room one morning with 4 Peppa Pig character tattoos, a flower on her thigh as well as "bee's knees" tattoos on both legs.
Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
I got a memorial tattoo of our dog who my mother loved more than anything, and Mum doesn't like tattoos. So it was a bit of a contradictory moment. First "ugh, another tattoo", and then a few minutes later "can I have another look at it? Aw, it looks just like him!"
Tilly 3 years ago
My mum got her first tattoo at the same time as I got mine.
Load More Replies... Little letitia 3 years ago
I wanna now who this person is who thinks that their tattoo is gonna fade away so much that it won't be seen anymore! 😅
Jess Burgess 3 years ago
I don't think this person knows how tattoos work, it won't fade that much!
#30
Mtownmick 3 years ago
For inquiring minds, Ted Drewes is an iconic frozen custard shop in St Louis. Stop by when you are in town, you won't regret it.
Marley Marl 3 years ago
I live in Saint Louis and Ted Drews is delicious.
Load More Replies... Jack Perry 3 years ago
Simpsons gag, but they messed it up. That's bad that's good should have been the adjectives used
Ent Hugger 3 years ago
lol yaaaay! i immediately thought of "the toppings are also cursed!" and came down to the comments to see who else did :)
Load More Replies... Nadine Debard 3 years ago
They should have emptied the dishwasher and folded the towels during these 45 min /s
Lupita Nyong'heaux 3 years ago
as my initials are LB, i feel simultaneously attacked and appreciated. lol
#32
TheEndIsNigh🇨🇦and🇬🇧in🇺🇲 3 years ago
I mean...there's free Taco Bell, and there's free Guy Savoy. Not that there's anything wrong with Taco Bell, but if that's what you're eating, you kinda' need to plan the rest of your night.
#33
Jaaawn 3 years ago
On a serious note guys, what's the best way to ask a parent what they want to happen to them after they die? I need to find out but don't know how to approach it.
Artie B 3 years ago
No experience in this area but I would suggest the following: Hey I was thinking of the future and realized that after you die I don't know what you want done. I figured it would be easier to honor you after death if I know what you want.
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Purplescales 3 years ago
How many dads know their children won’t cry for them and yet do nothing to change that?
Daffydillz' Cold Contagious 3 years ago
Except for the apparent attention seeking guilt tripping behaviors noted in the above text. It honestly reminds me of my ex MIL, and while my ex-husband did shed a tear for her, her younger son refused to show up. Her two daughters came and it was emotional for all of them but with a cloud of tension and none of them had been to visit her in the nursing home she had been in for a year and a half before she passed away except for my ex. It's very difficult when they act like you owe them a living when they weren't even there for them and not a single apology made for anything ever. I've seen it happen from a mother's perspective. It's a shame that she never made a move to improve her relationship with them.
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Hotdogking 3 years ago
This just makes me think of The Dark Knight and the “It’s not about the money” scene
#34
MarchingBanda786 3 years ago
I love how the dad has a bunch of emojis by his name and the mom has none 💀
Icecream Sarang 3 years ago
Just get the airline and flight number and track it in flightaware like a good prodigal child.
#35
KittyGotClaws 3 years ago (edited)
Proud kid of a great parent who is sometimes an a*s hole... And works overtime at it.
BasedWang12.7 3 years ago
my parents would probably get one that said "and made it a profession"
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Emma Kilcup 3 years ago
My mom got a sign that reads "Please excuse the mess (our standards have lowered with each child)." We found it at Hobby Lobby and my mom said "It's mean, but it's so true!"
#36
Nitka Tsar 3 years ago (edited)
Never understood the appeal of tacos. Glad we don‘t have them here (except in a vew restaurants maybe)
#37
tuzdayschild 3 years ago
Well, it did take them home and not to the station. So that's something.
Christof Irran 3 years ago
I was driven home in a police car when I was a teenager. I was taking a shortcut (on foot) through the hospital campus, but found that it was too late at night and the back gate was locked. So, I climbed over it, and one of the spikes on top of the gate went through the seat of my pants (just the pants fabric, not body tissue). I don't know how long I was hanging there, but I didn't wake up until these two cops lifted me off the spike. They briefly discussed my level of sobriety, or the absence thereof, and then drove me home.
BenMaharaj 3 years ago
If you go home in one you probably weren’t really in trouble. They’re just helping you.
Daniel-Teodor Circa 3 years ago
They said they would be a cop and they now prove it by using the car from work to get home. Very proud that they didn't get a boring job and that aimed further than a minimum wage job
#38
David Martin 3 years ago
It couldn't hurt, honestly. I mean, clearly it'll never work, but imagine if he agreed just for a home cooked meal. Plus you get a story out of it even if (when) he never replies back
Madison Hall 2 years ago
If MY mum told me that, I wouldsay YES ABSOLUTELY because Harry Edward Styles is my number one celebrity crush, I'm the very first fan he ever had 15 years ago when he started his high school band White Eskimo, I was 8 then, now I'm 23 and missing his long hair
#39
Mona Stevenson 3 years ago
If my anxiety made me couscous, at least it would serve a porpoise.
#40
the Return of Bruno 3 years ago
You'll be a de-e-e-entist, you have a knack for causing great pain! (Steve Martin from "Little Shop of Horrors." Worth looking it up.)
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VonBlade 3 years ago
I wonder who the "ya mom" text was from. Name beginning with K. If only there was a clue somewhere.
Superninjatiger 3 years ago
I have the opposite problem. Me: I'm gonna make an appointment to my doctor. My mom: I'll do it for you.
Brenda Spagnola-Wilson 3 years ago
My youngest makes their appointments, but I have to go with them. They're almost 22, but have "white coat syndrome" still! Cracks me up! I go and they buy lunch
#41
Caro Caro 3 years ago
I tend to say bugger when things go wrong and I think I said it a little too often when, years ago my 5yo niece was staying with me for a week. Thank God my brother has a sense of humour LOL
Katy McMouse 3 years ago
My sister recently told me her children are running around muttering "balls" whenever something in their life goes wrong. They're teenagers, so, instead of guilt, I feel pride - two teens who actually pay attention and obviously emulate me. Life is good.
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MarchingBanda786 3 years ago
This reminds me of kindergarten when we were going back and forth around the room and rhyming words together and i ended up cussing in front of my entire kindergarten class..twice.. because I didn’t know what the words meant and I got in trouble :(
Couldnt_find_a_decent_name 3 years ago
I remember when my sister started saying s**t because she heard my mom say it so much she picked it up, so my mom started saying sugar. She picked that right up too, it was adorable
#42
Shyla Bouche 3 years ago
A friend is giving me socks for Christmas -- to replace the ones Bouche has killed.
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ThreeAngryLlamas 3 years ago
Partner: That bastard. Me: You can't say bastard in front of my baby brother while he's learning to talk! *silence* Baby brother: Haha! Bass-turrrd!
#43
Monday 3 years ago
I too would like a rich husband....or a rich wife, I'm not picky. I'll clean the house every day and cook every meal if it means I don't have to work anymore!
Crystal Spencer 3 years ago
Hello, Monday. I'll have to ask my husband but we both love to work but hate keeping house. We'd take care of you, you take care of our house....it's a sweet deal and I'm only sort of joking...lol.
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Rebecca Surette 2 years ago
I've had two of them, and find them to be vastly overrated. Which says more about my ability to choose than about men in general, I'm sure. However, and for whatever reason, many of us are far, far happier on our own. I have a life partner. She has whiskers and purrs.
Load More Replies... Let’s Be Kind 3 years ago
Or…. learn to make a beautiful life in your current situation, take good care of yourself, be responsible with the blessings you’ve been given, find goodness and give thanks for it, and realize that you are all you need.
#44
KittyGotClaws 3 years ago (edited)
Wow.... I just realized that I have never paid this compliment to any of my children... They raised annoying me to an art level.. But not to worry - I annoyed them right back!
#45
Lord Mysticlaw 3 years ago
My mom and I literally had this conversation last week. Both ways. Planning is important.
AffenpinscherMom 3 years ago
My parents have a 3 ring binder with color dividers for the different document sections like Last Will and Testament, house deed and house related stuff, car titles, bank info, 401K investment info, there is even a whole section with passwords. My father in law just died and it could not have been more opposite. He had stuff at banks we didn't even know about. Still finding stuff over a year later.
Wondering Alice 3 years ago
Is it not odd that this information is sent as a text? In my family, we all have a good idea of what each other want and where copies of documents are kept so no one has to deal with such things while grieving. In my husband's family, no one has a clue about anything as they find the conversation morbid. Neither extreme would find a text message OK.
#46
Mimi 3 years ago
How sad!! It's one of the best things in childhood. And so much fun and bonding. Do you want me to read to you to catch up?
Monday 3 years ago
That should be a service you can buy! Like live audiobook reading where you can ask the person to "Do the funny voice again!".
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Alexandra Davis 3 years ago
I was literally thinking about my grandma reading to me in bed last night and how much I adored it. She's been dead 19 years now and I miss her so much. My parents also read to me and I adored reading so much I could read before I went to school. Then as a teacher I used to be shocked when kids told me they have not even one book at home or go to the library, even those from wealthy families. Makes me so angry and sad, especially with library books being free there is no excuse.
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 3 years ago
Ok now I want to volunteer in a library to read to kids every once in a while... The question is how would a minor do that-
gas station cola 3 years ago
you should head to the library & ask the librarian if you could host a storytime every saturday or sunday for an hour or two! chances are the library would LOVE to host a regular event like that & parents would love a weekly activity to get their kids out of the house & keep them entertained. being a minor probably won't stop them from letting you, in fact i bet the librarians would be overjoyed to see a young person taking an interest in bettering the community & spreading a love of reading :) good luck, tiger!!
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Dan Padgett 3 years ago
I can't deal with some of the fonts used in kids books. So I made up a whole universe for my kid based around his late grandad being a kind pirate. He loves them and I don't have to deal with the books.
Pizzagirl 91 3 years ago
I can't deal with the grammar and content of some children's books... When it's "funny" when the protagonist (a toddler) finishes the whole big bowl of chocolate pudding that was meant for the whole family, or when the rooster lays eggs... My sister actually went so far as to put a sticker over some lines of text that are questionable and correct them, but I'm just wondering how some things got past the editors...
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Demongrrrrl 3 years ago
My Grandmother was a children's librarian and would bring home huge piles of books when I went to visit.
Alexis minnix 3 years ago
I thought I was the only one. My friends would talk about how their parents would sing them lullabies or read them books when they were kids. I thought that was only in the movies.
Terra Raizor 3 years ago
Yeah, I got one story outta my grandma when she came to visit.. But then she went back home on the other side of the continent. The first book my parents wanted me to read was Harry Potter at age 5, because my brother read the first one at age 8. I didn't read for a while after that.
Justin Rogers 3 years ago
My ex-girlfriend still reads to me, sometimes school books and sometimes good books
#47
#48
Chekl 27 3 years ago
guys stop acting like the mom is fr there is a big later of sarcasm and fridneliynes
SweetCheesySpaghetti 3 years ago
Omg my family did the same thing when i moved cross country!!!
Kathryn Jensen 2 years ago
Are you really a Vermonter or visiting the state from UT? If you are a Vermonter, where about are you from? I'm in Northern Vermont!
#49
Apatheist Account2 3 years ago
So I said "Siri, when will it next rain?" "Not for another 3 months." "Surely you can't be serious!" "I am serious, and don't call me Shirley". Apparently I'd left the phone in Airplane mode...
Pieter LeGrande 3 years ago
Automated machines don't punch you on the nose (yet).
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NakedForestAnimal 🇨🇦 2 years ago
I don't know why but this made me laugh until I cried. Be it Siri or Alexa, we've all been there.
Kaitlyn Neal 3 years ago
Iv done this recently. Google drive wouldn't let me send a msg will driving (voice to text). And I got mad and was like 'Google. Your such a f**king piece of shyt'. I have it set to approve before sending....it didnt... it sent it to my mom. . Who hates cussing. That was NOT fun to recover.
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What do you think ?
Sherri Martel 3 years ago
So many #momgoals moments here. My poor 5 year old has no idea what kind of sassy karma is in store for him!
D20 Games 3 years ago
I think I entered full mom mode a couple weeks ago. I was picking up my kids from after school program, my 7yr old daughter told me to stop "goofing around, I was embarrassing her". I was hugging her, kissing her on the cheek and just being a goof. While my son(6m) was trying to climbing on my back, trying to kiss my cheek. I have great balance, no danger.
Sherri Martel 3 years ago
So many #momgoals moments here. My poor 5 year old has no idea what kind of sassy karma is in store for him!
D20 Games 3 years ago
I think I entered full mom mode a couple weeks ago. I was picking up my kids from after school program, my 7yr old daughter told me to stop "goofing around, I was embarrassing her". I was hugging her, kissing her on the cheek and just being a goof. While my son(6m) was trying to climbing on my back, trying to kiss my cheek. I have great balance, no danger.
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