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30 Pathetic Experiences In Adult Life That Are Actually As Painful As Being Picked Last In Gym Class
The last person selected in the NFL draft is traditionally called 'Mr. Irrelevant,' and over the decades of the league's existence, many players have been in this position — but none have become really great (Brock Purdy, we're still expecting...). Likewise, many of us have been in the 'Mr. Irrelevant' position in school, when we were picked last in the gym class.
But even as adults, this oppressive and offensive feeling doesn't leave us — because adulthood often brings up such situations, too. When you sincerely want friendship, love, or professional recognition — and only then realize that you were simply picked... well, on a residual basis.
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#1
Someone on my team at work had a huge, fun, fancy wedding. I was the only one not invited. Every day, I get to look at the picture that sits in my boss's office of the whole group dressed up in their finest, having a blast. I'd never say a word, but d**n, exclusion stings.
Patricia Richardson 7 months ago
mine too ….thats just not nice at all….time to find another …better….job you deserve it
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Serena Myers 7 months ago
Why was OP not invited? Personally, I wouldn't give a s h i t, but there must have been a reason?
Boo 7 months ago
There doesnt have to be a reason, some co-workers have cliques. Some people haven't evolved past hìgh school.
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Nicole Weymann 7 months ago
It would nag at me, too, but I'd try to convince myself to "not ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by incompetence". They *might* just have forgotten. Outside of confrontation all you have to work with is what's inside your own head 🤷
StrangeOne 7 months ago
There's at least 2 groups of people at my work, possibly 3, who hang out after work. They carpool or just give rides for each other. By treats for each other to share amongst themselves. I totally get the exclusion feeling. At the same time, I don't personally know these people and not all the groups have taken to me, or get me. It is what it is. I got my own clan outside of work.
Sven Grammersdorf 7 months ago
I don't want to be friends with coworkers. This wouldn't bother me in the slightest.
tori Ohno 7 months ago (edited)
Our sales manager is doing that to me (I'm in the production office). Everyone else gets offered fresh eggs from his farm, smoked brisket from the holiday, etc. I'm completely left out. It's some sort of power play with my direct supervisor, and the fact that he thinks that I should "do more" which includes secretarial work for his crew. He got shut down by the company president, and now takes it out on me like a child throwing a tantrum. I won't play his game though. He'll get the same Xmas treat basket I give everyone else. I'm not petty like him.
RELATED:
#2
Applying for a job that you're well-qualified for, not hearing anything back for weeks, and then seeing the position being reposted without having even a follow-up email from them.
Rick Murray 7 months ago (edited)
That's normal these days. It amuses me when the people at the company I work for complain that people they offered a job to didn't show and didn't contact when, when I was looking for a job many years ago, of eighty six letters sent, I had *one* response to say "sorry, no". As for keeping staff, they tend to tell people at the very last moment that they are wanted to stay on, then seem surprised that the person assumed otherwise and found somewhere else. It's very likely that people apply and interview for multiple jobs and they'll go for whatever pays the best and has better hours (ours is shift work). It would be cordial and decent to let the other companies know that one has found work elsewhere, but having been on the receiving end I can understand why people don't bother.
The Majestic Opossum 7 months ago
This is sadly true. As an out of work HR pro I've been on both sides. Even worse I think is when I get a canned rejection email almost immediately after applying. I know it's all AI screening these days but it still hurts. I would always try to email a personal response to folks I talked to. And if they asked I'd give them a good reason and any tips I had to help them...
KatSaidWhat 6 months ago
My favourite response was "this would be a clash of conflict... hoping it was never mentioned but I still have my job, so.
StrangeOne 7 months ago
Just assume you aren't what they're looking for. They could even be doing you a favour.
Rali Meyer 7 months ago
Two reasons I don't send CVs out anymore: I have the magic "5" in front and that aside, NO CV lands where it gets read. Rely on your network and drop your CV off at HR after the interview.
#3
Being left out of the group chat. Bonus points for finding out when everyone else's phone in the room gets a text at once.
Child of the Stars 7 months ago
Seriously. I'm in the group chat for work but outside of the schedule, none of it ever applies to me (I'm the only full-time night shifter and work by myself). All the communication happens during my sleeping hours, and I had to just turn off the notifications so it doesn't disrupt my sleep (I can't turn my phone off because I also have 2 school-aged kids, and during the school year, I need to be reachable in case of an emergency).
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Luis Hernandez Dauajare 7 months ago
Worse thing is when everyone gets a new group chat instead of taking you out of the old one.
There are more than one or two threads on the Internet dedicated to such situations, and every time I read people's revelations about these seemingly ordinary — but no less offensive — cases, I feel uneasy. I just realize that something similar has happened to me. And, well, and by the way, to each of you, I think — regardless of how incredibly successful you actually are.
#4
"Hey we are all going to [Insert fun activity], and [Insert other friend] just said they can't make it. Do you want to come along?"
It's nice, but it's also hurtful.
Rick Murray 7 months ago
As an introvert it's nice to be asked even if everybody and their cat knows what the answer will be.
Brandi VanSteenwyk 7 months ago
I consider myself a homebody and introvert as well. I used to decline virtually every invitation to go anywhere with anyone. Then, when I started challenging myself to get out more and actually accept the invitations, I found that not a single time did I regret going. I still don't do a whole lot but when the opportunities arise, there's definitely a bit of self talk going on in order to remind myself that "No Regrets" applies.
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Russell Rieckenberg 7 months ago
So, getting picked last is as painful as getting picked last.
StrangeOne 7 months ago
2 of my brother's weddings I wasn't invited to. Reason? Close family members only. Ouch
Tom De Paul 7 months ago
To be closer would require incest . . . or cloning.
Load More Replies... KatSaidWhat 6 months ago
This happened earlier this year, but I did attend the wedding because I knew I was lower down the pecking order and just glad to have made the final cut. But seeing nights out when you have not been invited and they you would like to burns.
#5
Watching everyone's birthdays get celebrated at the office. Then when your big 30th comes, no one even bothers to tell you happy birthday. Husband even brought me balloons and flowers, so they knew it was my birthday.
Doctor Strange 7 months ago
I don't even celebrate my birthday anymore, because every time I plan an event I get a bunch of people say they'll be there, then I get the "oh I got invited to something else, I'm going to that instead"
Charles McChristy 7 months ago
My mother brought a cake to work for my birthday once. I said I had to run next door and would be right back. 5 minutes later and I come back to the cake already cut up and everyone eating without me.
KatSaidWhat 6 months ago
My 50th last year. And I finally guilted them into cake and flowers at work even though I dislike both, just to be petty. I also realised how few of friends actually GAF.
#6
For me, it was when everyone went on the camping trip I initially planned. They made a separate group chat and went a week before we planned. They were too chicken s**t to tell me they invited someone else and replaced my ride to our destination. After that i stopped talking to my friends of the last 8 Years of my life. I feel a lot better. It made me realize how selfish they were
Small edit: Since i have a lot of people who think Im just a whiny a*****e. Let me clear this up. Im not saying my friends uninvited me with Malice. They just wanted room for someone else. So the easiest way was to drop me from the trip. Thats why I feel like the last to be picked. Because to them I was just a filler friend.
Nicole Weymann 7 months ago
I'd "whine", too, if I initiated activities with people who then explicitly went on with *my idea* for a fun outing and excluded me!
Sven Horlemann 7 months ago
That's not whining. Similar experiences had my wife cut ties, too. I totally get that.
The Majestic Opossum 7 months ago
I was in this near exact situation for almost a decade with my "friend" group. I finally got old enough to realize if a bunch of people could just forget I exist that often, they are not my friends!
Some experience something similar in friendship, or at work with their bosses and colleagues — and some even understand that their relationships were actually formed using to this very sad principle. These realizations come in literally one unexpected moment, leaving us at a loss, and breaking through any emotional armor that many adults create for themselves.
In fact, despite long centuries of social improvement and development, people often remain very cynical and unceremoniously practical. And it's precisely the realization that, for example, they are friends with us not because we are so cool and interesting to talk to, but because they want something from us — that is incredibly painful.
#7
Being called last minute for a night out on the town just to find they need a designated driver.
#8
Group lunches at work.
Especially when the whole group is heading out to lunch and you're sitting at your desk and they're either totally unaware of you at all - or worse - someone makes eye contact by accident and then is like "Oh, uh, do you want to come?".
Rali Meyer 7 months ago
Like Dilbert waiting 90 minutes for them to go, only to get greeted with: We just got back, didn't realize your weren't with us four..
sturmwesen 7 months ago
Na...my break is for me or walking the dog. you can keep your lunch group...
Bored Trash Panda 6 months ago
Nope, I'm good. I like to sit in my car by myself on my lunch. Gives me a little time for a quiet and stress free environment.
Sven Grammersdorf 7 months ago
No thanks, I'm going to spend my lunch break smoking cigarettes and eating beef jerky in my truck
#9
Only getting attention from men in bars after they have learned that all of the women I'm there with are in happy, long-term relationships.
Take your consolatory offer to buy me a drink and shove it, Brad.
sock man 7 months ago
Brad's a d*ck. Not deck, dock, or duck, either. Stupid Brad.
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"Let's try to look at it from the other side," says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist with whom Bored Panda got in touch for a comment here. "Yes, this feeling can be very offensive, but it means, however, that your eyes are opening to the real state of things. This veil of hypocrisy on the part of others is dispelled.
"In the end, being in the dark all your life about who you really are and how people around you treat you is also not very good. After all, unlike a school gym class, where you only have one option to change the situation - start training hard, here there are other options."
#10
Sitting at one of your stepsisters' house on Christmas day and listening to your stepsisters and stepsister-in-law and stepmother planning a fabulous Boxing Day outing that you're not invited to.
That happened to my wife. She's not usually hyper sensitive socially but she cried all the way home after that.
Mel in Georgia 7 months ago
It's just super rude to discuss doing stuff in a group when you don't plan to include someone there.
Patricia Richardson 7 months ago
you’d have to have a heart made of stone not to be upset… hugs to your wife
Bored Trash Panda 6 months ago (edited)
Quick google search says "Boxing Day, in Great Britain and some Commonwealth countries, particularly Australia, Canada, and New Zealand, holiday (December 26) on which servants, tradespeople, and the poor traditionally were presented with gifts. By the 21st century it had become a day associated with shopping and sporting events." So kinda celebrated like Black Friday in the US. I didn't know either so I looked it up and thought I'd share.
Load More Replies... #11
When your friends all make plans together in front of you, and then only invite you because you just heard them make the plans.
GhostlySnail (she/her) 7 months ago
Y’all’s friends invite you after you hear them plan? Mine just plan in front of me and then tell me later how fun it was
Lady Eowyn 7 months ago
They didn't invite me anyway. They were no longer "friends." That hurts to this day and it was decades ago.
#12
A few years ago, a group of "friends" from church and I were discussing starting a small Bible study group. We had a couple lengthy conversations about it after Sunday services, but then I never heard any more about it. A month or so later, I found out they started a group without me. When I asked someone about it, I was told that a woman (who was not even there when we talked) had a vision during her prayer time about a small group starting that included all the other women, but not me. So basically, Jesus told her to exclude me. o.O.
Mel in Georgia 7 months ago
I worked at a "Christian" company and for several years had participated in a singing group that performed at their Christmas party because I enjoy singing and am decent at it. One year in December I asked one of the members if they were doing it again and she awkwardly said they'd already begun rehearsing. I have a suspicion that they felt I wasn't Christian enough for the group. (I'm not a believer - never mentioned it, but never pretended to be one, either.) Gotta say, that one stung. Was so glad to retire soon after! Their Christmas parties sucked, anyway! 😆
Vinnie 7 months ago (edited)
If your religious credentials were at issue, that's discrimination. I'm not Christian and no one's going to ban me from singing Amazing Grace - except if it hurts their ears.
Load More Replies... "You can change not only yourself, your soft skills, but also your environment. Find people who will appreciate you for the set of qualities that you have here and now — and not pretend. Yes, this is sometimes way more difficult than adapting to the surrounding world, but this is also an option. Available precisely in adulthood. Although, the older we get, the more difficult it's to do," Irina Matveeva ponders.
To what extent we are ready to change ourselves or our environment is another question. We are often just happy to deceive ourselves, or accept everything as it goes. Call it "worldly wisdom." Be that as it may, everyone chooses for themselves...
#13
Bartender ignoring you.
Rick Murray 7 months ago
I used to get this because I'd order stuff like lemonade or orange juice (which would be some Happy Shopper c**p at a vastly inflated price). Not everybody goes to a pub to get drunk. Some of us go because the nitwit we came with will need to be guided back home.
tori Ohno 7 months ago
Go to a different bar, after posting the problem on Yelp. Bartenders at decent places take care of non drinkers. Those are usually the DDs. Without a DD, the people with them can't keep drinking, which is how the bar makes money.
Load More Replies... tarryn norwich 7 months ago
But did you do something that the bartender is ignoring you? Ex: waving, tapping the card on the bar, cut off, or the worst... snapping your fingers.
Big Chungus 7 months ago
I tend to thinks it just because the bar is so busy and they are trying to keep up, but if it was empty and they are ignoring you, then its you lol
KatSaidWhat 6 months ago
This is not always straightforward -- there seems to be no etiquette in bars anymore. I worked in one and could remember who got their first. Waving money in my face won't change that and neither will your pushing in front and making yourself "big" at the bar.
Sven Grammersdorf 7 months ago
Usually it's because the bartender thinks he's better than everyone and has a stupid haircut
#14
Celebrating your birthday and no one shows up.
Rick Murray 7 months ago
My cat shows up. Granted she does that usually in order to be fed, but hey, take whatever small wins are on offer...
Sarah 7 months ago
What date I wonder. I’m first week in January.. try that for a party. Everyone is broke— flock you all , my bday doesn’t change date) I’m doing a dry January… the weather is too cold.. I’ve no money and already drank and ate too much at xmas. And those that do give a gift.. it’s your Christmas and birthday present in one… flocking lovely.
Rick Murray 7 months ago
My birthday is in the middle of December, the årse end of the year, and combined present too. So I decided to celebrate it six months later in mid June when it's nice and warm and the days are long. I'll be 51½ Real Soon Now. 😉 Hey, it's your birthday, you are technically born on such and such a day, but you can *celebrate* it whenever the hell you want.
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Fester Sixonesixonethree 7 months ago
That was my 45th. I planned everything, invited people, made all the arrangements, confirmed everyone's attendance... and not one of these a*****es showed up. I cut them all out of my life. Nobody needs that kind of friend.
Julie S 7 months ago
My birthday was Sunday and my 2 closest friends forgot, all I wanted was a happy birthday text was that too much to ask?
Load More Replies... #15
Being purposely excluded from a family wedding picture. Thanks Mom.
bElLa sTairZz 7 months ago
gotta respect the brides family for thinking ahead though..!
Load More Replies... Lady Eowyn 7 months ago
As far as I know I'm not in any of my little brother's wedding pix. I wasn't even invited to the wedding. I neither expected or wanted to be. I only went because my mom said if I wasn't invited she wouldn't go, and I couldn't do that to her. I didn't sit at the family table, but at a table with some family friends and my late sister's roommates, who were invited. Only a couple of people even know I have a brother. And I expect no one he knows, knows he has a sister.
Tim Douglass 7 months ago
We accidentally excluded one of my wife's siblings from our rehearsal dinner. We didn't know if they were even going to be able to come, so didn't give them an "official" role in the wedding (7 siblings, so it's already a crowd). They assumed that because they didn't have a role they weren't invited to the rehearsal or rehearsal dinner and we never thought to make it clear that they were to come. In the end there were no hard feelings, but 40 years later I still regret that we don't have any pictures of them from the rehearsal dinner.
In fact, we sincerely believe that you will be interested in reading this selection of stories from netizens, comparing them with your own experience and, perhaps, sharing your personal tales in the comments below. Also, how you dealt with these feelings — and maybe, who knows, the sympathetic people in the comments will help you cope. In the end, hope is actually what stays with us until the very end.
#16
Joining a hot yoga class for the first time, being easily 50 lbs. heavier than the heaviest person there, and having the yoga instructor completely ignore you, but focus on / communicate with the only two others in the room. Humiliating experience.
Serena Myers 7 months ago
I know that's a stock photo, but unless there was a way of turning myself over and crawling to somewhere I could pull myself up, yoga is not for me! Chair yoga? I am trying it out!
Vinnie 7 months ago
Some overweight people have self-esteem issues because of being directly or indirectly told that their weight is some kind of moral failure. It seems counter-intuitive to discourage them from exercising because of looks.
Nicole Weymann 7 months ago
Being on the (somewhat deserved) receiving end of that issue: Tank you!
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#17
"I like you a lot and I could see us together, I'm just not emotionally available to commit to a relationship right now." or something along those lines.
The bonus is when they end up in a relationship with someone in 2 weeks after you parted ways.
Fellfromthemoon 7 months ago
So, you pick: "I'm not ready to enter a relationship"; "it's not you, it's me" or "Seriously? Why would I ever enter a relationship with you after...(insert prior behavior/statement here)" and "yeah, I went out with you just to stop pestering me, but now I see it was a huge mistake. Never again." These all mean the same. Which one do you want to hear?
KatSaidWhat 6 months ago
Hahahaha. My ex told me he was not at all interested in his best friend when I mentioned she was into her. Then was with her less than 2 weeks after I broke up with him.
Doctor Strange 7 months ago
Or the ever popular "You're a great guy, I would totally go out with you if not for (insert reason here)". Then, said reason disappears, they complain "why can't I find a good guy?" "What about me" "Oh god no, I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole." Or the "I wish I could find a guy like you. Not YOU. But someone like you. Only better."
Nikole 7 months ago
Just because you’ve never even been told that is no reason to be salty.
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#18
Working freelance and the only phone calls you get are, “can you work in 10 hours?” Never “can you work next week?” That’s when you know you’re plan Z.
#19
Getting added to a group chat and realize your friends/coworkers have been chatting long before you were added.
Nicole Weymann 7 months ago
Okay, being an "afterthought" can sting, but I wouldn't take it personally, especially in a large group. There is usually one dedicated admin, a lot of people who are not active, and a handfull in between. Being added to a new group of 10 or 50 people (like abc clique or xyz office) I wouldn't check out every single person in the chat, and it might take me weeks to realize one particular person doesn't give any input, and weeks more before I'd ask them or check if they even are in the group.
KatSaidWhat 6 months ago
A friend of mine who is on the spectrum does group events but will ask you first privately if you can attend. Then a group chat is created. If you drop out, you lose the chat and some of them are funny AF.
#21
No room for you in the car when everyone agrees to carpool so everyone does that awkward shifting about to make room when we all know its easier for you to go in another car.
Ogidi Girl 7 months ago
Why would this sting? It's just annoying and you can simply opt to go in your own car.
#22
Someone in the office showing everyone a hilarious photo on their phone. They show everyone but you. You laugh anyways cos everyone else is laughing but inside you don't laugh.
Sara Frazer 7 months ago
I LOATHE being showed videos on someone's phone, so this would be a win for me 🤣
#23
Coworkers intentionally keeping you in the dark about things. Like free meals your employer provides and similar policies. Yeah, I've had that happen to me. People are d***s.
Conan did a comedy expose`piece about this kind of thing. In his office they had a special group of employees who would contact each other if some free food came in so other employees didnt get any.
#24
Watching snapchat stories and seeing that everyone is hanging out together but you were never invited.& being the friend that people hang out with only because they have no one else.
#25
Being laid off first in corporate cuts.
#26
When new year's are approaching and you haven't been invited to anything.
Rick Murray 7 months ago
Bliss! Just me, a huge bag of crisps, and the end of Stranger Things.
Anthony Elmore 7 months ago (edited)
You... get invited to New Years things? Who has time for this s**t?
#27
People around you getting raises when you asked for one before any of them did and know you're doing just as much if not more than they are. It is what it is, I've been in the "pipeline" for a raise since November. Just so happens to always be an inconvenience when I try to push for it.
Rick Murray 7 months ago
Time to start looking at other options, and prefix *any* additional duties or responsibilities with your expectations of appropriate remuneration. And don't be surprised if upon getting word of you looking to leave they'll make a paltry offer. The only reason there is an "inconvenience" when it's time to talk about pay is because you back down and accept the situation. Employers don't value people half as much as they value saving money for themselves.
Lozza 2012 7 months ago
Stay within your job description and if higher ups say your not doing as much as you did before, tell them your doing what's required and to do more work, need more pay to reflect this.
#28
Being single and alone (not by choice)
Its not that nobody wants you on their baseball team, its that nobody wants to spend time with you, love you, or care about you...
Edit: While I appreciate all the love folks - actually in a pretty happy place and a loving relationship (and also don't think you *actually* need to be a in a relationship to be happy) but if this resonates a little bit too much with any of y'all feel free to PM me.
Doctor Strange 7 months ago
Yep. Its not that I don't put myself out there. I'm just never good enough.
#29
Last time I played softball I had to be moved around four different times to different positions until they found the one that I did the least amount of damage at.
Edit: You all are so nice to me. It was a fun team full of friends and other people who were also terrible to varying degrees. I'm so glad that so many of you empathize. :).
Tom De Paul 7 months ago
Why was this awful? You are admitting that you are a bad player but they continued to work with you until they found a position you were "less bad" at doing.
#30
Being picked last for a work team building exercise.
Serena Myers 7 months ago
I wouldn't go on one of those silly team building exercises if they paid me. Luckily, I never had to.
Vinnie 7 months ago
How many times can one build towers out of raw spaghetti??
Load More Replies... Rali Meyer 7 months ago
at the end when selecting teams to play soccer: Okay, we take Tom, you can have Rali and (insert name of other loser here)
What do you think ?
Rika 7 months ago
I was always picked last in gym class, but I never saw it as a problem: I'm lazy and never had any interest in physical exercise. No one wanted me on their team because I was going to be a burden, they still got along fine with me outside of gym class.
Sarah 7 months ago (edited)
You were lucky, I wasn’t picked because I was the laughing stock of the class for some reason. So it wouldnt look cool to pick me. And no.. they weren’t nice outside of PE. Relentless 3 years of being slagged off to my face and making fun, I stood up to one girl once.. I said a remark back .. she walloped me across the face. The feelings stay with you for life - I’m 45 now
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Apatheist Account2 7 months ago (edited)
I used to get picked first for some things in primary school (not sports, more skill and brain stuff - quizzes, using a fountain pen, playing the violin). I would go so far as to say that I was headmaster's pet. Whilst it was largely justified - I was told unofficially that I came top in the 11plus exam - it made me an arrogant, horrible person, and I hated not being picked and made up excuses to make it sound like it was my choice not to take part. It was knocked out of me (mostly) when I went to secondary school and found that I was no longer the best at everything. It's not necessarily a good thing to be picked first - maturity is not about what happens, it's how one deals with it.
Kyra Noelle 7 months ago
I started learning this in Sophomore year. If I suggested something to who I thought was my best friend, they would say that sounds great, let's see if so and so wants to join. If they didn't the activity would be cancelled. Or I would only be invited if none of her other friends showed up. Another time, my sisters and I had planned an outing. I asked if my friend could come they said yes. I invited her, she said yes. I keep talking in chat about how much fun it would be an looking forward to it. I arrived in town, called to let them know I was here. They didn't answer the phone, just texted "Oh sorry I was cooking dinner, will get with you after" and then proceeded to forget to call/message. When I mentioned what time we were meeting it was "Oh I promised to meet my mom for brunch" Broke my heart. Now I only contact over FB
GhostlySnail (she/her) 7 months ago
Walking behind the other two on the sidewalk and when our other friend shows up they suddenly make room to walk three wide and you still have to stay behind
Doctor Strange 7 months ago
Having your friends all make the effort to hang out with each other, but not you. Being there for people when they need you, but when you need them they basically tell you how their problems are worse and to shut up. Your friend hugging everyone goodbye except you.
Roni Stone 7 months ago
My adult version of this is living in the same apartment with my partner for well over a year, and they still ask me at the lobby desk if I live here. We both moved in the same day. They know my partner lives here - my disabled partner who never leaves the room. But they can't remember that I live here - the person who goes to and through the front door every day and chats with the lobby personnel. I get into a huff every time it happens. I pay half the rent, I do all the cleaning, purchasing, cooking, calling in of work orders, picking up the mail, etc., and no one can remember I live here! What if there was another fire?
Huddo's sister 7 months ago
We didn't really have a chance to be picked last in school, the teachers always numbered people off or similar to divide us into teams.
Carol 7 months ago
My friend's son had a birthday party and invited me the night before. I chalked it up to honest forgetfulness. Then the next time it happened I quickly became insulted, but only said "I'm sorry. I can't make it." Her son asked me why several times, but I said "I can't." Then his mother got on the phone and asked me several times why I couldn't come, what was going on, etc. When I wouldn't give more of an answer she hung up on me, and hasn't spoken to me in 15 years. I didn't like being the second choice, but tried to be kind about it. I guess some people just don't get "No."
Ogidi Girl 7 months ago
I am curious as to why this level of drama. You could have simply told them why you were hurt and they would probably have apologized and maybe explained why they informed you so late. The very fact that they spent so much time asking you why suggests that you were NOT second choice and were in fact quite important to them. But you chose drama over friendship which suggests that YOU were not a true friend anyway and they were right to cut you off. Sorry.
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Sarah 7 months ago (edited)
What an idiotic thing to say. the meekest ones get destroyed . Looking back .. I was tall / stick thin/ and had looks. Of course I didn’t acknowledge that for years until I was approached by agencies to model . And started getting a lot of male attention and compliments .Looking back they were jealous and I had no self esteem
Load More Replies... Rika 7 months ago
I was always picked last in gym class, but I never saw it as a problem: I'm lazy and never had any interest in physical exercise. No one wanted me on their team because I was going to be a burden, they still got along fine with me outside of gym class.
Sarah 7 months ago (edited)
You were lucky, I wasn’t picked because I was the laughing stock of the class for some reason. So it wouldnt look cool to pick me. And no.. they weren’t nice outside of PE. Relentless 3 years of being slagged off to my face and making fun, I stood up to one girl once.. I said a remark back .. she walloped me across the face. The feelings stay with you for life - I’m 45 now
Load More Replies... Apatheist Account2 7 months ago (edited)
I used to get picked first for some things in primary school (not sports, more skill and brain stuff - quizzes, using a fountain pen, playing the violin). I would go so far as to say that I was headmaster's pet. Whilst it was largely justified - I was told unofficially that I came top in the 11plus exam - it made me an arrogant, horrible person, and I hated not being picked and made up excuses to make it sound like it was my choice not to take part. It was knocked out of me (mostly) when I went to secondary school and found that I was no longer the best at everything. It's not necessarily a good thing to be picked first - maturity is not about what happens, it's how one deals with it.
Kyra Noelle 7 months ago
I started learning this in Sophomore year. If I suggested something to who I thought was my best friend, they would say that sounds great, let's see if so and so wants to join. If they didn't the activity would be cancelled. Or I would only be invited if none of her other friends showed up. Another time, my sisters and I had planned an outing. I asked if my friend could come they said yes. I invited her, she said yes. I keep talking in chat about how much fun it would be an looking forward to it. I arrived in town, called to let them know I was here. They didn't answer the phone, just texted "Oh sorry I was cooking dinner, will get with you after" and then proceeded to forget to call/message. When I mentioned what time we were meeting it was "Oh I promised to meet my mom for brunch" Broke my heart. Now I only contact over FB
GhostlySnail (she/her) 7 months ago
Walking behind the other two on the sidewalk and when our other friend shows up they suddenly make room to walk three wide and you still have to stay behind
Doctor Strange 7 months ago
Having your friends all make the effort to hang out with each other, but not you. Being there for people when they need you, but when you need them they basically tell you how their problems are worse and to shut up. Your friend hugging everyone goodbye except you.
Roni Stone 7 months ago
My adult version of this is living in the same apartment with my partner for well over a year, and they still ask me at the lobby desk if I live here. We both moved in the same day. They know my partner lives here - my disabled partner who never leaves the room. But they can't remember that I live here - the person who goes to and through the front door every day and chats with the lobby personnel. I get into a huff every time it happens. I pay half the rent, I do all the cleaning, purchasing, cooking, calling in of work orders, picking up the mail, etc., and no one can remember I live here! What if there was another fire?
Huddo's sister 7 months ago
We didn't really have a chance to be picked last in school, the teachers always numbered people off or similar to divide us into teams.
Carol 7 months ago
My friend's son had a birthday party and invited me the night before. I chalked it up to honest forgetfulness. Then the next time it happened I quickly became insulted, but only said "I'm sorry. I can't make it." Her son asked me why several times, but I said "I can't." Then his mother got on the phone and asked me several times why I couldn't come, what was going on, etc. When I wouldn't give more of an answer she hung up on me, and hasn't spoken to me in 15 years. I didn't like being the second choice, but tried to be kind about it. I guess some people just don't get "No."
Ogidi Girl 7 months ago
I am curious as to why this level of drama. You could have simply told them why you were hurt and they would probably have apologized and maybe explained why they informed you so late. The very fact that they spent so much time asking you why suggests that you were NOT second choice and were in fact quite important to them. But you chose drama over friendship which suggests that YOU were not a true friend anyway and they were right to cut you off. Sorry.
Load More Replies... Sarah 7 months ago (edited)
What an idiotic thing to say. the meekest ones get destroyed . Looking back .. I was tall / stick thin/ and had looks. Of course I didn’t acknowledge that for years until I was approached by agencies to model . And started getting a lot of male attention and compliments .Looking back they were jealous and I had no self esteem
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