30 Entitled And Rude Relatives That Will Probably Make You Appreciate Your Family More By The End Of This List (New Pics)
Ah, family. Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without 'em, right? They’re supposed to be there to provide unconditional love and support us any time we need help, and in turn, we are expected to do the same. Sometimes, however, our relatives have a hard time understanding that just because we’re family does not mean that we can be taken advantage of.
Below, we’ve gathered some of the most obnoxious examples of family members being entitled, from the Choosing Beggars subreddit, that might make you appreciate your own family a whole lot more. Be sure to upvote the posts that you find particularly ridiculous, and let us know in the comments if any of your relatives have ever been choosy beggars.
Then if you’re interested in seeing even more of these annoying family members that you'll be thankful you don't have to celebrate the holidays with, you can find Bored Panda’s last article on the same topic right here.
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Choosing Beggar Shames Her Daughter In Law For Using A Gift Card She Gave Her To Make A Blanket For Them
As an avid knitter and crocheter, this makes me livid. The amount of time it takes to craft a bedspread is obviously not understood by this ignorant woman. I'm sure the DIL considered it a thoughtful gesture.
In theory, our family members are the people we are closest to in the world. They have been there for us since day one, and we are tied to them for our entire lives. But for some reason, relatives sometimes assume that because we’re bonded by blood, they can get away with treating us horribly. Whether it’s feeling entitled to our time, money or things, the way family members often speak to one another would definitely not fly among friends or romantic partners.
But the love of our relatives is unconditional, right? Well, if you’re having trouble dealing with a difficult family member, have no fear. I’ve consulted Dr. Abigail Brenner’s list of strategies to deal with challenging family members on Psychology Today, to help you pandas know what to say the next time a relative comes knocking asking for a large pepperoni pizza, money for gambling or demanding that you pick up their children when you already had plans.
Mom Asked For 'Old Phone' As Temp For Uncle, Offered Old Phone, Can't Be Too Old Has To Be iPhone 6 Or Above
Holy Cow, There Are Too Many Things Wrong With This
The first tip Dr. Brenner provides for dealing with difficult relatives is to resist the urge to try to fix them. As hard as it may be, we must accept our family members as they are. The problem with attempting to change them is that nobody can actually change without having the desire to do so themselves. If we try to force it onto them, we will only be causing a headache for ourselves and exerting time and energy unnecessarily. Dr. Brenner notes that, for the time being, we should assume that our family members are unable to change. We should base our knowledge of them on their actual behavior, rather than an optimistic belief that they will be better in the future. When we manage our expectations, we are less likely to be disappointed by them, and we can avoid wasting time and energy on “fixing” them.
Next, Dr. Brenner says that we should be present and direct with our relatives. Understand that if they are trying to get a rise out of you, you don’t have to give them that satisfaction. Stand your ground, and avoid getting into an argument. Stay present and focused, and don’t become defensive. Once a conversation has turned into a fight, it’s not possible to effectively communicate, as it simply becomes about winning. If it gets to that point, step back and walk away.
My Coworker Asked His Ex About Her Birthday... I Never Could Have Imagined How Selfish Some People Can Be. Her Sister Is Fine By The Way
Bratty Cousin Stole My Netflix Password And When I Changed It He Wants Me To Give It To Him
The cousin should really work as a police negotiator or something, his technique to try to convince are AMAZING. Demand and, when denied, immediately insult and curse. Wow.
Family Discounts
Another strategy that Dr. Brenner recommends is allowing difficult relatives the opportunity to fully express themselves. Let them state their point of view, and be sure to listen to them. Understand where they are coming from and why they feel judged, misunderstood or frustrated. You don’t have to agree, but let them know that you respect their opinion. After they get to release their thoughts, they may be much less confrontational and emotional.
Another thing to keep in mind is to watch out for trigger topics. You might need to avoid delicate issues altogether, or have a strategy for de-escalating the conversation if it becomes about a sensitive topic. For many people, avoiding hot topics like politics and religion with their relatives can help relationships run more smoothly, but you can't always control the conversation. “Be prepared to address these issues in a direct, non-confrontational way or to deflect the conflict if the atmosphere becomes too heated,” Dr. Brenner writes.
Cousin Who Has Owed Me $7k For Over 2 Years Suggests I Work As His Real Estate Agent To Get Paid Back
I Wouldn’t Let My Older Sister (Who Lives At Home) Eat My Food
Insane Mom Thinks Mental Illness Deserves Not Having A Family
Yeah. Just because you have a disability doesn't mean you can't do normal things.
Load More Replies...Yep, like what my dad said when I was crying after losing my baby at 4 months pregnant. "You already have three; we're not animals you know". "you and mom got five" "yes, but they were all accidents and we didn't want you" "thanks for that, dad".
Hey, very sorry to hear that fellow panda. I hope you are better now.
Load More Replies...I'm not unsympathetic to this woman, but I have more sympathy for her children, who were left "screaming and screaming" with their mother shaking and crying on the floor having an anxiety attack so bad she "couldn't breathe". It may well be that her anxiety substantially worsened after having kids, or there was a major change in family circumstances that left her without support, and that it's not her fault, just a terrible situation. But if she was having incapacitating anxiety attacks on a regular basis, and deliberately chose to get pregnant anyway, with no childcare plan, then that is selfish and morally wrong. Kids are not supposed to be caring for their parents, or having to deal with the trauma of being left alone with someone in the throes of a crippling anxiety attack. It's not "mentally ill people don't deserve families" it's "don't *deliberately* bring children into this world *knowing* you lack the resources and support to care for them in the way they deserve."
Thank you. My mentally ill mother should never have had children. It was absolute HELL growing up with her psychotic mood swings and temper tantrums. She ruined my life and my brother's life.
Load More Replies...Wow .... Just wow. So according to this person if someone has mental illness they don't deserve happiness. Anxiety attacks are already bad enough, if you don't have something nice to say don't be mean. You never know how much the person suffers behind the screen.
You can be very happy without having kids. It’s irresponsible to bring children to this world knowing you won’t be fully capable of taking care of them. You are supposed to make your children happy, not the other way around.
Load More Replies...You have anxiety? How dare you get married, have kids and live a normal life like the rest of us!!
I had anxiety for a long time and it didn’t keep me from being a A/B honorable student, getting NJHS (National Junior Honors Society), supporting my parents in taking in their grandchild, going through fighting a “friend” who never really was a friend, sneezing (I sneezed a lot while making this post; I couldn’t help myself :>), supporting my brother, and many other things.
Load More Replies...I’ll have to be the bad guy here. I also live with anxiety and other physical and mental issues. I won’t have kids because I know I would struggle taking care of them properly. You are not entitled to have children for your own pleasure/gratification. However I would never call somebody out about it. It’s rude and useless. Your life choices aren’t my business although I certainly question them.
there is a possible chance she didn't have this disability BEFORE the children were born. There is alot of reasons a person gets anxiety attacks/depression.
Well..mum is out of line. But this is a traumatic experience for the kids and it seems it wasnt a one time either. The kids needs help and possibly a trusted adult to cover the fragile parents issues. Here there are help available for free if you have mental issues and there are children involved.
This sounds like my 'mother' and this is the reason I've had no contact for over 12 months. Best thing I've ever done
I think this one lacks context to judge. I don't think it belongs here
Oh my gosh!!!!! As someone who has anxiety and panic attacks this is a nightmare! Then being called selfish!!! I would lose my mind and scream at them until they learn a lesson
Wow. WOWOWOWOWWOWOWOWOWOWOW THIS HURTS SO BAD! I have anxiety and autism and so when i go into one of my trances, or a shutdown, or even worse, a meltdown, my dad says "LISTEN TO ME! DON'T IGNORE ME!" wheni'm in shutdown, and when I am having a meltdown, which looks annoyingly like a tantrum, my dad says "Calm down, stop being over dramatic." Also, I can turn off my emotion in the middle of a meltdown. Once, I was crying really hard and my dad ordered me to stop. I switched off my emotion completely, and he commented "Just do that in the first place." WE HAVE BOOKS FOR HIM TO READ. HE DOESN'T READ THEM. WE HAVE WEBSITES TO GO TO. HE SAYS HE'S BUSY. HE SAYS HE UNDERSTANDS ME BUT HE DOESN'T. This post made me feel so upset for the person who went through this. Sorry for the long comment. Have a good day.
Omg. Anxiety is sometimes caused by a chemical imbalance and an attack can come out of the blue without anything even triggering it and you do feel like you're going to die. What this person needs is support and compassion and help finding a doctor that can help them get on the right meds not criticism
Well, I have several medical issues, so I made the decision to never get married or have kids. It wouldn't have been fair to anyone.
I'm sorry mother but due to recent developments, I am no longer available for thanksgiving. Or Christmas. Or any event with you and/or people that share your views. I do not apologise for any inconvenience. You are no longer allowed to see my children, and if you come onto my property I will have you arrested for trespassing. Bye b!tch. *block* [that's what I would do, mental illness isn't a joke and no offence OP but your mother is a b!tch]
OK people, this is just a very small look into a much larger situation! This is a very irresponsible post on a very sensitive situation! NO ONE should be posting ANY opinions about it. The only ones qualified to comment about it are the families involved! Way to quick to judge!
But if she didn’t get married and have kids, her mom would probably have been begging for grandkids six days a week…
Why would you be so selfish as to drive me crazy by not spelling "knowing" correctly?
That's why I won't have kids tbh, I'm mentally ill and I'd f**k them up
She sounds crude but has a point. If you're incapable to function and take care for yourself on some days, how in the world do you think you'll care for others for 18+ years? By dumping them around relatives like this example? Sorry I'm with the mom on that one.
True, Some people should not start a family because of their emotional nature. The mother here is an unwitting prime example.
Dr. Brenner goes on to note that some topics should actually be explicitly off-limits, if they only ever leave you feeling stressed, traumatized, or emotionally exhausted. It may be challenging, but you have the right to set boundaries with your relatives. And finally, she reminds readers that we are not responsible for our family members. If they are difficult, it is not our fault. When we can see a familiar pattern being carried out, it can be helpful to do everything in our power to avoid a conflict. But at the end of the day, people can be stubborn. Remember that your well-being comes first, and if it comes down to it, you can always cut a family member off. Whether that means financially or through all contact, you are allowed to have boundaries. And especially when you don’t feel supported by your family, it is more important to have people around who do support you, regardless of whether you’re related or not.
My Sister Wants Me And My Brother To Help Pay For Her And Her Kids To Swim At My Late Father's Pool
My Aunt Asks Me To Pick Up My Cousin At Least 3 Times A Week From Work. Easily A Quarter Of A Gas Tank Every Time. This Was Her Reaction When I Said No Tonight
I love it when people decide that what I want to do with my free time is unimportant.
Tax Season And Cb Sister
Now, when it comes to which family members are demanding too much of us, it can come from anywhere. Siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, and even our own parents. While parents are supposed to look out for their children and teach them how to be kind, well-adjusted individuals, sometimes they actually do more harm than good. Caroline Bologna wrote an article for the Huff Post breaking down the signs that you might have been raised by an entitled parent, or a Karent, and if you find any of this behavior to be familiar, just know that you don’t have to follow in your parents’ footsteps. According to psychotherapist Noel McDermott, entitled parents will make unreasonable demands of everyone, including their children.
I'd Be Happy If My Parents Got Me Anything
$80 Cutlery Set Not Good Enough For This Father. Proceeds To Roast His Own Daughter
My Brother Likes To Make Large Sum Bets And Thinks I'll Just Pull Out Of My Savings To Help Pay His Dues
“The entitlement is projected onto the child as a set of expectations and belief in perfectionist views of the child,” Noel McDermott told the Huff Post. “Any criticism of the child will be a criticism of the parent. The parent will insist on special treatment for their child and remove their child from opportunities to socialize outside of their tightly controlled social circle.” Dealing with an entitled parent can be extremely challenging because they feel like the world owes them something, and they tend to assume they are the victim in any scenario. This can lead to embarrassment and shame in their children, if their parents are causing a scene at baseball practice, at school or when eating out at a restaurant.
My Stepmom Won Some Money From The Lottery Last Night, This Is What My Dad Had To Say
My Sweet Little Brother Who Begs Me For Money Every Day
He is 30 and married and doesn’t talk to me about anything but borrowing money or getting handouts or asking if he can come for dinner. The vm after was “what kind of sister let’s their brother go hungry?” um, this one
Family Member Wants Money. Doesn’t Like It When I Call Her Out
It can also hinder a child’s understanding of empathy if their parent never teaches them to consider the perspectives of others. “It’s important for children to be raised to believe that other people’s needs are as important as their own,” Perri Shaw Borish, a psychotherapist and founder of Whole Heart Maternal Mental Health, told the Huff Post. “If a parent is entitled they are likely not modeling that for their children. Entitled parents may not be helping their children to understand their place in the larger community and world and their connectedness to those outside of themselves.” This can cause the cycle to repeat itself, as the apple doesn’t fall very far from the tree.
My 30 Y/O Sister Getting Mad That I Haven't Done Her Whole University Project When She Asked For Help
I can't comprehend how that sister is even in university! School requires work and effort!
Mother Demands You Only Buy Specific Gifts For Birthday And Holiday. For Context, The Child Is Like 4 Years Old
My Unemployed Brother Asking Me To Order Him A Pizza
Entitled parents often have trouble with boundaries as well, as I’m sure you can see from some of the posts on this list. “Entitled parents often treat their child’s life as if it’s their own life,” licensed marriage and family therapist Becky Stuempfig told the Huff Post. “There’s not a healthy separation between parent and child.” This can be seen when a parent feels entitled to their child’s income, responsible for their child’s accomplishments, and more. And this lack of boundaries can be detrimental for a child. They may be unable to appropriately express themselves, which can lead to feeling like they are unimportant and developing low self-esteem.
My Sister Seems To Think I’m Selfish For Bringing My Controller, Which She Likes To Use Without Asking, With Me On A Couple Week Vacation. I Bought It With My Own Money
Op Is Mad That Her Brother Only Spent $75 On A Gift For Her Kid
The Sense Of Entitlement Is Strong Here, Even With A Significant Portion Of Their Expenses Paid For By Family
Another important trait that entitled parents, or entitled individuals in general, often lack is the ability to express gratitude. “Entitlement isn’t so much about actual position but more about relationship to position,” Noel McDermott explains. “Someone who is entitled will lack gratitude for their good fortune and view anyone who questions their position as bad.” As you can see from many of the photos on this list, an entitled person will not say thank you and appreciate someone going out of their way to help them. They simply assume that they deserve to be helped, and they feel free to ask for whatever they want. Thankfully, however, even if your parents raised you this way, you are not doomed to a life of entitlement. Being aware is the first step in correcting or preventing these unhealthy tendencies, so if you want to ensure that you don't end up too entitled, try to remember to practice gratitude whenever you can.
My Cousin Who Has No Concept Of Fuel Costs
My Boyfriend Bought My Mom A Diet Coke, This Is What My Dad Had To Say
My Cousin’s New So Wanted To Get His Hair Done With Me
I sincerely hope that these posts are not reminding you of your own relatives, but if they are, maybe this is a good reminder to set some healthy boundaries. Keep upvoting the pictures that you find most obnoxious, and then let us know in the comments if you've ever had to deal with a "choosy beggar" of a family member. And if you're interested in checking out even more of these posts, you can find Bored Panda's last article on the same topic right here.
I Hope Her Aunt Never Pays The Netflix
Cb Uncle Who Has No Job Asks For Help The One Time He Talked To Me This Year. Ungrateful When I Couldn’t Send Money A Few Hours Earlier
I Tried To Teach My Daughter Better Than This
The bar for basic decency is so low that it is on the ground but this chucklefucks have brought shovels.
Remember Pandas, let's not downvote each other's comments, as it gets people suspended + banned. If you disagree with someone, just say so (or ignore). Use downvotes for hate speech/spam only.
It is ridiculous that the algorithm bp uses is to suspend and ban people automatically without ever reading the comment in question. Old account got suspended because people downvoted a comment that was clearly marked /s as sarcasm. BP needs to hire humans to make that decision. Thank you for reminding people not to downvote the comment unless it is hate speech or spam.
Load More Replies...Sounds like my family. Aunt guilted me into buying her groceries and dinner. She did this so often, I don't know why I was surprised at her new trick. She's never worked, and claimed she had nothing. Turned out she just didn't want to buy her groceries and guilted me into doing it, she had to add things she 'wanted' and wouldn't usually buy. We went back to hers and she puts all the groceries and food for dinner away. Brings out stuff from her freezer that was freezer burnt and that had just about gone off. The dinner we were supposed to eat was put away so she could eat it later. Well, my parents visit and I tell them aunts latest trick to get her groceries paid for by me. Dad decided we're going to visit aunt. Aunt drools over my Dad (much to his disgust) and invited us to lunch. Dad promptly ate most of the food she put out (it was everything I had bought for dinner the night before). Thanked her kindly and we left. I never bothered helping her again.
Entitled twat waffles always amaze me. How do they function in the rarified air up there? Narcissism and willful ignorance are no joke.
This makes me remember to what extent of how NOT TO BE -a}$hole- toxic with our "beloved ones" Sadly, I have been toxic too. Saly, many nice people have this kind of relatives. I hope the cycle ends one day, for God's sake!
Sounds like a former friend who claimed she was starving as she had no money or food and her abusive soon to be ex husband made her stay locked in her room. My husband and I decided to help her out by buying her groceries. We called her from the store to see if she had access to a stove, and she immediately began to dictate what we could and couldn't buy for her, no gratitude whatsoever for what we had already picked up. She only wanted name brand, no generic. I thought if you were starving you'd eat anything and be glad for it. Silly me.
The bar for basic decency is so low that it is on the ground but this chucklefucks have brought shovels.
Remember Pandas, let's not downvote each other's comments, as it gets people suspended + banned. If you disagree with someone, just say so (or ignore). Use downvotes for hate speech/spam only.
It is ridiculous that the algorithm bp uses is to suspend and ban people automatically without ever reading the comment in question. Old account got suspended because people downvoted a comment that was clearly marked /s as sarcasm. BP needs to hire humans to make that decision. Thank you for reminding people not to downvote the comment unless it is hate speech or spam.
Load More Replies...Sounds like my family. Aunt guilted me into buying her groceries and dinner. She did this so often, I don't know why I was surprised at her new trick. She's never worked, and claimed she had nothing. Turned out she just didn't want to buy her groceries and guilted me into doing it, she had to add things she 'wanted' and wouldn't usually buy. We went back to hers and she puts all the groceries and food for dinner away. Brings out stuff from her freezer that was freezer burnt and that had just about gone off. The dinner we were supposed to eat was put away so she could eat it later. Well, my parents visit and I tell them aunts latest trick to get her groceries paid for by me. Dad decided we're going to visit aunt. Aunt drools over my Dad (much to his disgust) and invited us to lunch. Dad promptly ate most of the food she put out (it was everything I had bought for dinner the night before). Thanked her kindly and we left. I never bothered helping her again.
Entitled twat waffles always amaze me. How do they function in the rarified air up there? Narcissism and willful ignorance are no joke.
This makes me remember to what extent of how NOT TO BE -a}$hole- toxic with our "beloved ones" Sadly, I have been toxic too. Saly, many nice people have this kind of relatives. I hope the cycle ends one day, for God's sake!
Sounds like a former friend who claimed she was starving as she had no money or food and her abusive soon to be ex husband made her stay locked in her room. My husband and I decided to help her out by buying her groceries. We called her from the store to see if she had access to a stove, and she immediately began to dictate what we could and couldn't buy for her, no gratitude whatsoever for what we had already picked up. She only wanted name brand, no generic. I thought if you were starving you'd eat anything and be glad for it. Silly me.