People Are Sharing How They Got In Trouble At Work For The Weirdest Things (30 Tweets)

R@pe. The censored word is r@pe. I get blurring out cuss words, BP, but this is taking it too far!

That’s hilarious :’D

A girl I worked with got me pulled up to HR because I liked to say indubitably. She said I used big words, which made her feel dumb. When asked for an example, she tried to say indubitably, but couldn't.

malicious compliance, got to love it.

Was this at a McJob? I would love to know ex-boss's justification for denying the leave otherwise.

A vicious wild animal. I hope the op wasn't hurt.

It has been brought to our attention you are absent from work only during work hours... very very sus.

She should have reported the creeps to the police for child prostitution. After she phoned her father to tell him that her boss was a pimp. First to get at that place gets to call the shots.

I had a boss that didn't want to give me the night off on the day that my first child was born. He didn't fire me but he grumbled a lot.

"So where are you located?" "I'm sorry, I can't reveal that information to customers because that's classified information that they could use to rob us."

My CO from the Navy would have died laughing, the chief of the boat however would have killed me

Always carry a fire extinguisher.

that's ridiculous at best, sexist at worst

Finish the banana and straight to HR for harassment.

Nice to read that for once that misogyny wasn't rewarded.

Nothing more satisfying than to be able to humiliate your boss in public. "Yes, I found the solution my bossed claimed, by not looking at the symptoms, but by looking for the cause."

Even better if it confuses clients, they might take you seriously.

Couldn't you just eat around the eggs ;)

I want to know what aggressive eyebrows look like.

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hope you learned :D to be hones at my first job i learned very fast that working efficiently for higher ups means 'more time to do other people's job'

Only severed heads can be weighed accurately. There's not just loss of fluids, but also some of the weight gets carried by the shoulders etc so measurement is incorrect. Or so I'm told.

I love when people are baffled by others do math in their head. Had a teacher just stare at me once when I gave him an answer to fraction subtraction. Wasn’t even a math class, it was photography. He was showing us how to cut print mats, and asked someone what the difference was between two measurements. Not sure why he was so surprised.

For those as confused as I was: "They are the exact same. Clip, but apparently if you put the larger loop to the back and the smaller loop to the front it gives more support and is the correct way to do it."

We had a new start that got a complaint made about him by an older co-worker. They were being trained and following one of my crib sheets, crib sheet said click "return" (easier for non computer using older guy to follow), new start pressed enter instead. Big drama and lots of explaining that they did the same thing.

Been watching video's from US expats working in Europe who are all flabbergasted that people pack up and go home at the end of the day and there's no boss getting furious about it.

Your highness and most esteemed employer, to my indescribable sorrow I am compelled to inform you that it is impossible for me to visit your temple of underpaid labor because of a temporary weakness in my mental health. I will do my best to overcome this barrier in my productivity as quickly as possible in order to be able to serve you optimally again as soon as possible.

On Monday, half the employees shuffle in like zombies, so I'm not sure why the receptionist could be surprised.

That's a long time to be at the copier.

Well, actually, with the accent it's pretty racist. So a brief talk about this is not a bad idea.

*Watches boss ram pallet truck into wall* "Got it boss - I can do that!

You dodged a bullet, there.

Time to deploy the "ministry of silly walks" style.

wearing a red hat I presume?

"Surely you can't be serious?" "Yes I'm serious and stop calling me Shirley."

Fun fact: Soviet spies trained during the cold war were in fact told NOT to do too well in a job. They had to be seen as a hard worker but not too good that they stand out.

Report him for assault and harassment and creating a hostile work environment.

Absolutely classic, if that wasn't appreciated they have no souls.

"If this happens once more, I'm off to the competitor."

It's always satisfying to see malicious compliance in action!

No good deed goes unpunished. At the same time people are complaining why this society is becoming so brutal, unfriendly and harsh.

For normal people 10 °C. That's a good temperature for a fruity white wine but 8° beneath the temperature for a sturdy red wine.

right because some how its her fault it would matter what she wore he would still probably still stare at her breasts

Similar thing happened to me, but I,m childless. I couldn't understand why I was feeling so unwell either. Turned out I had uterus cancer.

TIL what NB/Nota Bene means.

perhaps the senior partner felt sexually harassed by that unbuttoned button hidden under the tie?

"I'm a professional drug dealer and I act professional!"

The father probably called this example of absolute arseholery "Though love".

Ok... that one was kind of deserved.

He accepted the list and said "No worries, boss, I got your back, bro. "

Should have asked $300, write the essays and send a copy to the college.

This is horrifying. Plus it was 100% illegal for them to ask for fiance's medical records, that breaks HIPAA laws!

I would have ran out and not looked back

Today (Friday), a lot of my colleagues - including my bosses - will be messaging a version of TGIF. On Mondays, we'll sometimes use Monday to excuse little errors.

Prove it, in an unfair dismissal lawsuit.

They obviously don't understand the first thing about patrols. Vary the times, length, and route to no one can predict your movements and sneak past you like Link in a dungeon.

Was he not entertained?

No, a company so transphobic is a joke and deserves to go out of business!

This is disturbing.

Do the thing!( Ok) Don’t do the thing! (Alright) you should have done the thing!

Bad bosses often say this to salaried employees. Time for a contract check with an extra dose of malicious compliance while looking for something less toxic.