40 Stories Of People Taking Stupidity To New Heights At Their Job, Shared In Online Thread
There are varying degrees of how much you can mess up at work: [1] "oh, it's fine, we'll fix it in a jiffy", [2] "well, this is serious, but not without a solution", [3] "this is bad... this is very, very bad..."
And then there's everything that Redditors in this AskReddit thread were on about, listing the worst things their coworkers have done on the job.
We're way past "I sent the wrong invoice to the client" territory. Oh no, we're in the zone of regret that's usually home to "I just destroyed a 400K machine" or "I can't use the work computer to surf the dark web?" situations.
Enjoy.
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Late 90’s, I was a custodian in a NYC public school to pay for college. One of my coworkers accidentally spilled about 15 gallons of gasoline in the school parking lot. He didn’t want to get in trouble for spilling that much gas so he thought the best course of action was to burn off the gasoline. Of course gasoline burns with huge billows of black smoke so he panics and tries to put out the fire BY DRIVING HIS CAR OVER THE GIANT PUDDLE OF BURNING GASOLINE. Fire department shows up within minutes and sees him doing donuts in the giant fire and they spend a whole hour screaming at my coworker about how f*****g stupid he was.
Edit: and in 1997 when this happened, gas was 97¢ a gallon. He could have replaced all the gas for less than $15.
Can't believe NYC in 1997 you could get gas for 97 cents per gallon He's lucky he didn't blow up in his car.
I asked one of the new kids to stack the shoe department.
Easy if but a bit boring. I showed her, stack by brand then size, big at the bottom, small top yeah?
She decided to organise it by the color of the boxes instead because it looked prettier.
Took me hours to fix that mess.
Never understood why small sizes at the top... obviously most smaller people have smaller feet and can't reach them...
I had a coworker that smelled of booze at 7am.
Supervisor told him he smelled like booze, and made a couple of “get lost/go hide somewhere” remarks.
Coworker was offended, and *demanded* to be given a breathalyzer.
Coworker blew hot and was terminated. The end.
He opened a Skype window (yes, this was ~10 years ago) and started messaging me to s**t-talk a person who was in the same call as us.
Except, he forgot he was sharing his screen.
Office manager pitched the idea of having a live shooter drill, and not telling anyone in advance.
Worked with a lot of hazardous chemicals. Had a coworker who was notorious for being on his phone. We had to use a pump to put a hazardous chemical into a tank. Problem was you couldn’t look at the destination and pump the pump at the same time. Someone had to pump and someone had to watch. So I specifically asked said coworker to not look at his phone this one time. Tank overflowed and spilt the chemical everywhere because he was staring at his phone. Took hours to clean up.
Ahhh yes. Had a fueler overfill an aircraft when I worked at the airport. 100lbs of fuel just spilling out of the wing and you couldn't stop it. Had to get everyone off the plane, flight was cancelled, massive fun...
After checking the correct lock-out tag-out procedure was followed, I assured an employee that it was safe to change dies on a horizontal press. But he was skeptical so unbeknownst to anyone he put a piece of tooling steel about the size of a coffee can under the die base. Some of you know where this is going.
He made the tooling change, forgot his “safety measure”, and cycled the press. We all heard a $400k press eat itself in a fantastic swan-song of a noise that would take Stephen King four pages to describe.
No idea what any of that means or if they meant "dye", but absolutely love the description of the press unaliving itself!
Telling the manager on duty, “I’m not the one eating it, so why should I care?” when the manager was trying to explain to her how to correctly prepare a customer’s food.
Ex Michelin Chef here ; that sort of attitude was an immediate kick out of the back door, followed by your belongings, usually having been dunked in water or oil (if feeling charitable), or pissed on, if not, then followed by being told to f**k off if you demanded your wages. Happened twice in my 37 + year career.
Smoking in front of propane tanks after being told not to because one might be leaky. When I reminder her, she put her finger up to her mouth as if to shush me so the boss did not hear. She did not understand what the potential was and just thought it was a dumb rule.
She was not a smart woman.
She once asked if Virginia was between New York and New Jersey because an online man was telling her he’d pick her up on the way.
She was 51.
She also didn’t drink water because Pepsi had water in it and it made her more thirsty.
A guy I worked with sent a spreadsheet round with all the women in the office ranked in a spreadsheet and graded overall based on 1-5 scores on ‘tits’ ‘a**e’ ‘legs’ ‘F**kability’ and ‘banter’ He was somehow shocked he didn’t pass his probation
Shocked he wasn't immediately fired. Should have been black-balled.
Oh I got one. So I used to work corrections and I was training this new guy, it was way before our job formalized training, idk why it took so long. Anyway my shift supervisor asked how he was doing and I straight up told him that he wasn’t going to make it. There wasn’t anything specific just a gut feeling. I guess since I couldn’t articulate the exact reason the supervisor signed off that he was trained. About 2 mos later he is working outside in the rec yard with other COs. One of those COs was a female with a large chest that she liked to poke out. Well mosquitos were out and about and so the COs got into a game of slapping mosquitos off of each other. Well homie saw a mosquito right on one of ole girls boobs and instead of maybe just waving it off he open hand slapped the mosquito and left his hand there for about a full second before taking it off. Naturally she complained and he was let go the next day.
Not done yet. My brother is a retired firefighter and a couple of years after the boob slap incident my brother was sharing all of these funny stories of a relatively new guy they have in the dept. He says the guy is nice and works hard but when it comes to initiative and critical thinking skills it’s just not there. For instance at a fully engulfed house fire everyone is running around doing their thing like unrolling hoses or staging equipment like axes/pikes and he’s just kinda standing there watching the house burn. My brother who was a captain at the time tells ole dude to grab the fan off the truck, idk the technical term but it’s a big fan they put at the front door to blow oxygen out of the house. Well it’s a big heavy fan and has rollers and a telescoping handle similar to pieces of luggage. Dude gets it down and just sets it on the ground and goes back to watching the fire. My brother then has to tell him to bring the fan to the front door. Ole dude stares at the fan and doesn’t know what to do. My brother has to walk over there and pull the handle out and homie is like “ohhhh..ok”. Ole dude sets his axe down, that he’s been holding this whole time, in a ditch with tall grass, leans the fan forward and begins to drag it on the road. This not only tears the body of the fan up but the fan is heavy enough it’s tearing up the road a bit as well. Eventually someone points out the wheels and again he’s flabbergasted by the technology. All the stories my brother shared he never said his name but once and my head snapped. I described the guy and turns out it’s boob slap guy. I then told the boob slap story and my brother was like yup, that sounds about right.
I saw a tattooist I worked with tattoo "Laugh now cry Ladder" across a guy's chest...He was let go/ and a few years later a guy came in with "Warior" across his upper back in bold letters wanting it fixed. Same tattooist lol.
Depends how much effort you put into climbing the later.
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You're supposed to sign off on designs before they start inking. Baffling people aren't catching mistakes.
Shouldn't be that hard to fix, just remove the extraneous R and adopt a terrible fake Italian accent
Whatever happened to the tattooist having you look in the mirror to approve of the design? I have 4 tattoos and never once didn't get final approval before ink.
So these guys don’t work with stencils? How does one get to this point?
CRY LADDER CRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY I FEED OFF LADDER TEARS
A hostess at a restaurant I worked at on college. The owner taught her how to use the register. When things slowed down we found her ringing in things into the register. She was " practicing ". She rang in over $2,000 of nonexistent charges. Took the owner three hours to correct it after closing
Most POS now have a "training mode". Someone should have first taught her how to put it in training mode, but then she might forget to put it in sales mode and then you have a whole different problem
Taking out and using a vape pen in a clean room area that had an acid hood with butanol, nitric acid, and hydrofluoric acid in it.
Suffice to say he wasn’t employed for long after that.
HF (hydrofluoric acid) is one of the nastiest substances on the planet. Clean labs are supposed to be clean--like really, really clean. No dust. Ultra filtered air. Gloves, paper booties, etc. You don't vape in a clean room.
This guy had a good high paying job with a pension, was there about 5 years, good worker, he was finding and watching [adult content taboo beyond any set of morals] on the company computer on company time! The cops visited! His life went downhill fast.
In high school, working at a Chinese restaurant, was there basically to take orders and bus tables. Another dude I vaguely knew from high school got hired there. Nice, popular dude, but not much common sense. Within his first two weeks, he went to make himself some food (we were allowed to do that to a certain extent), and he dropped some wontons into the deep fryer. When he decided they were done, and as we were having a conversation, he just REACHED HIS HAND into the oil to retrieve it. I don’t think I even reacted for a moment or two, and then rushed forward. He somehow ALSO didn’t react for a moment or two before pulling his hand out and yelling out a cartoon-style “YEEOUCH!”
He went to the hospital, and quit the job.
For 'Not much common sense' read ' utter cretin, tiny brain, no sense at all' ..... On another level though, I used to know a guy who used to make up a really thick batter, dip his finger in it, THEN, dip it into the deep fat fryer and leave it for 30 seconds or so .... he was an idiot too, but bloody funny with it.
My best friend, he took his mop bucket and poured it down a water fountain instead of using the closet with a sink that was literally right next to the water fountain. He got fired the next day.
After I had some renovations, I hired two cleaners, to help me clean the huge mess. One of them went to empty the bucket of dirty water, she passed the toilet and poured it straight into the (clean) bathtub! She was very annoyed when I told her that now she has to clean that mess on her own time, that I'm not going to pay for that extra time.
Telling the senior operations person for the office that they would "take a sick day as an extra day of vacation". To be clear, neither I nor the ops person really cared, but it was the equivalent of telling HR that you were fraudulently taking time off. Really boneheaded.
Also, this person started at the same time as me and then made a huge stink when I got promoted and they didn't. Basically subtly accused our bosses of sexism..
The catch? You AUTOMATICALLY received a promotion upon completing a series of certification exams (which I had). She had not. It was the most unremarkable promotion in history and she decided it was a hill to die on. She quit a few months later.
Running a walk behind crown stacker in a stock room. Stock room was separated from warehouse and receiving dock with 10’ door ways and a big wall covered in plywood. This idiot had just put up a pallet and didn’t lower the forks enough, and completely nailed the wall with the forklift. Luckily all cosmetic damage but it was dumb af
It was me. I was the coworker.
At least you admitted it. I know of a person running a fork lift with several pallets on it and got mad at someone and literally ran them over.
I'm a nurse; my MedAid (certified and licensed) dispensed one pain med at a dose prescribed under a different med; giving the patient 10x the recommended dose (and didn't recognize the mistake for 6 hours) to a 90lb older lady. Luckily this woman's organs were shutting down and didn't metabolize the med; she had 12 doses of narcan. And was alive, awake, and chatty thru the entire ordeal. No lasting effect if essentially being overdosed.
Dodged a bullet there. Sadly the phrase ' luckily her organs were shutting down' are probably the wrong words in this case in the long term.
Put a bunch of freshly sharpened knives in a sink that was full of soapy water and didn’t tell anyone. Another coworker got like 5 large cuts on his hand while reaching in to start cleaning dishes.
I've seen aftermath of this kind of thing happening and it's not pretty
We just had a high voltage KVA transformer installed in my warehouse, I asked the electricians to install it high so it wouldn't be hit by a hi-lo. About 3 hours later one of my managers decided to hop on a sit down hi-lo and move some freight. He was not trained nor given permission to drive this machine. Well as luck would have it he flies past my office with the forks extended high. Yep, he punctured the transformer and boy what a spark show. He actually bent one of the forged blades which I have never seen before. He knocked out the power for our building and the surrounding neighborhood. He survived the incident luckily but I fired him on the spot. Good times...
Had a temp job during my high school holidays installing new machinery at an aluminium foundry. ( I think the word is foundry : they melted aluminium in a electric oven and made castings.) It was closed during the company holiday, and the floor manager (who was planning to take his holiday later ) decided the forklift driver was too slow. So he, without a forklift permit, drove like an idiot and rammed the forks into the main power panel. The entire area (several factories and a residential block) was blacked out for the rest if the day, our ears took a few days to recover, he was in the ICU a week but made a full recovery. Yes : I can guess what those forks looked like.
I was working in a little shack in a construction yard that stored tools and equipment. One of the shop guys walked over with two full jerry cans and a smoke in his mouth.
Even the token yard idiot came over and was like “wtf is wrong with you?”
One of my cousins decided to bang away at a gas can with a hammer...my dad (his boss at the time) strolled over, looked at him and said, "Plan on living long?"
Admit to not having spoken to any of the business stakeholders, but instead "made up their own story."
This was at the end of what was supposed to have been a four-week information-gathering phase of the project.
That afternoon, when one of the managers went to escort her from the premises, they found her by the printer with a stack of confidential documents.
At an old warehouse job, on this dudes first day he offered the general manager a cup of Hennessy he was drinking out of. Never seen someone get fired faster than that since.
He cupped a piece of wood in his hand and tried to cut through it with a skill saw. He set the depth on the blade so it was just enough to go through the wood without hitting his hand. It hit his hand. Luckily, the depth wasn't enough to go all the way through, but it was still a hospital trip and a lot of stitches.
Colour the background of a word dock blue so she could get a blue piece of paper.
The blue paper was right next to the printer and had been there for months.
She printed daily.
Ever wonder how blue paper get into the stack at the first place?
I’m fairly certain we could all agree that a backup of anything is a physical replica of an item or data file, preferably placed in a location foreign to that of the original so that the unavailability of one does not affect the availability of the other.
With this in mind, I once asked a guy to backup the contents of an entire server on to another server. He was meant to spend a few hours completing this activity and verifying it had all been copied in full without any data corruption.
I come back the next day to find a shortcut in server 2 that was pointing to the folder in server 1.
This same guy knocked the Production servers over the weekend and didn’t tell anyone. Our company was fined $250,000 USD.
This same guy once logged into another server to complete some maintenance work and got hit with a Windows update notification. He accepted the update, got locked out and had to wait over an hour for the update and reboot to complete.
This guy wasn’t fired, he is now the Tech Lead in another team.
Hopefully not for your company. Sounds like a PEBCAK error. (Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard).
Printed the boss’ face in the toilet so people don’t pee on the floor. 😂
Co-worker held a block of dry ice in her bare hands and asked, "what is this?" The box it came out of had a hazard sticker that said Dry Ice and then a bunch of cautions, like use gloves or tongs to pick up.
I was in a school play where there was dry ice being used (can't remember what for, maybe for creating mist). Some clown picked up a piece of it and put it into his mouth
Get a four gang extension lead, plug a computer and monitor into it, take the plug around a pillar, looking for somewhere to plug it in, and plug it into itself.
And get distressed that it did not work.
Oh, the number of times I've had to explain to colleagues that they have done this...
One dude once photocopied a slice of pizza. We found cheese and stuff inside the machine for weeks. Was pretty funny though.
I once watched a fellow auto technician attempt to clean up the threads on an axle nut he marred up with a giant tap on a pneumatic impact gun while holding the nut in his hand. Needless to say, it slipped and tore the ever loving s**t out of his hand, requiring a hospital trip and several stitches.
He's the only tech I've ever seen that was so careless and stupid that he damaged axle nut and driveshaft threads often enough that he actually went out and bought a tap and die set of whatever monstrous size those threads were. It was something like an M28x1.5.
Naz if you're reading this, you're a f*****g idiot.
There were 2 of us installing an air conditioner. He had a bit of work outside that required him going up a ladder about 3 or 4 feet, not high. I was inside doing wiring.
I heard a loud thud and scream, so I ran out to see what happened. He fell off the ladder. I've seen gruesome injuries from stupid thing like this before, so I ran outside to help him out. No injuries, he picked himself up and got back at it, I went back inside.
Five minutes later, same thing. I walked out to check on him again after a small fall. He was ok again, but I told him to chill out and watch what he's doing. I went back inside.
Heard another thud from outside. He fell again. I just looked out the window the third time and went about my business.
I get the feeling he was throwing himself from the ladder for attention. Or to get workman's comp.
My coworker blasted the volume of his music not realizing the 3.5mm jack isn't connected to his phone. He thought he was hearing it from his earphones lol. Our CFO whose office is near our department came marching outside to the employee floor and shouted "Who the hell is playing that?" (in our native language). Someone had to call his attention, we couldn't laugh at the time but it was hella funny later that day lmao.
Edit: for anyone curious the song was Low by Flo Rida. It was popular at the time I believe it's in early 2010s when that happened.
We have this absolute wretched c**t of a coworker that kept running his mouth about how he's not scared of heights "back in the day we didn't have safety equipment and I worked on skyscrapers, you know that photo of the guys eating lunch on the beams? I was doing that but I was better than them, I used to jump between the beams" stupid s**t like that all the time.
He went up a ladder once at work like 10ft up and he started screaming like he was dying. 2 coworkers came over to him and he said "I can't move, I need you each to grab one of my feet and move it down the ladder for me." So 2 people moved his feet down the ladder like he was a puppet while he screamed and moaned like he was dying the whole time.
Worked at a place that rotated new staff constantly... Here's a few I saw get sacked.
1 - fly tipped his rubbish from a job install (whole van load) down a country lane, left all information on all the boxes then claimed he took it to the recycling place but they followed him and dumped it down a country lane...he was on a tracked van and drove down the lane it was found at.
2 - crashed the forklift into the warehouse door, complained he was too hot and couldn't cope, then started punching himself in the head...left and never came back
3 - sat down and watched Jeremy Kyle in the staff room every day for 2 weeks, didn't do any work, and was sacked.
4 - wouldn't do any work, sat there eating food from the breakfast van every day, and destroyed his desk by drilling holes into it or stabbing screwdrivers through it.
5 - stole a stupid amount of logitech equipment from the warehouse, posted it only on ebay with his skate in the background that had his name written on then claimed it wasn't him (stole around 40k worth of equipment)
6 - walked up to a female member of staff pit his rear end basically on her arm and farted, didn't want to do any work, and was sacked after 1 day
7 - Walked in and quit instantly with no notice, peed into the back of his van over all the stock that had to be binned. Use to p**s into his van a lot so there was jellyfied p**s all over the place.
8 - general manager new to the company walked in and told all the women they aren't qualified to do their jobs. Sacked instantly.
9 - decided to buy a pumpkin from the shop and try carve it in the office with a knife then said to the top manager "who are you?" When she asked what he was doing These are what I can remember for now, there's definitely way more but cba typing them all. Edit: Just trying to think of some more whilst at the gym
10 - One guy didn't like a woman in his office, she was meant to train under him. Made constant complaints about her and refused to train her whilst saying "I don't want a f*****g woman in my office" went on for a while with constant arguing and SHE was sacked...found out later on when she came to hand the keys into me with a big smile on her face that they paid her 20k not to sue the company
11 - Engineer didn't want to work for the company anymore, decided to smash his van into the back of an old ladies car, break his laptop and his phone all within a couple of days then was sacked off. No idea why he didn't just leave...
They need to be using a temporary employment service because it sounds like they have been hiring male pigs, thieves and non potty trained brats
Wally took a fistful of painkillers and fell into such a deep sleep, we thought he was dead. He was let go shortly thereafter.
I have one...dude gets fired and proceeds to argue with management that he has not been fired. Gets a bunch of his buddies to come intimidate management into allowing him to keep the job...tense situation, security got involved, etc. Finally convinced this guy that he did in fact lose his job, so he took a bunch of proprietary, highly confidential information and hid it in his house, taking out from time to time to show to his friends and brag about how great he was at the job. He has since re-applied for the same position...
I can't help but think this guy sounds like Trump.
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Worked for a temp job once, dude took some l s d, asked me if I would help him fight everyone in the shop when they came for him. Another guy came in worked good, drank a 40 during lunch and passed out in the parking lot. Fun times.
Not dangerous, just funny. A coworker at a lounge/restaurant came up to me and said, "That band they hired isn't very good. They just play the same songs every night."
Had a new hire in the warehouse decide that shoving crystal meth up her lady parts was okay since she wasn't snorting or smoking it. Oh and she did this while across the table from me, while talking about her daughter who her mother had custody of because of said meth hobby. She also tried to fix her car with zip ties. She ran off the road and bent some control arm. she decided zip tying a block of wood to it would hold the 4000lb car. Last I heard she had been arrested, did a short stint in county and is now clean, and back with her daughter. I wish her well but after seeing someone reach into their pants and shove meth in her hooha, I am happier not knowing her.
And what a bonus for anyone who had unprotected sex with her.
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I have a couple: My wife had a co-worker who advertised her side hustle in the little weekly small-town newspaper . . . and had her work phone listed as the contact. Then she couldn't understand why she got fired. At a place where I used to work they had a guy who was off working alone one day. The boss walked up on him and found him sitting in his truck drinking a beer. When told that wasn't acceptable and he was fired he responded with "But I was on break!"
This should be entitled "40 More Reasons to Respect and Appreciate Serial Killers"
Working in a computer factory around 25 years ago, and had to train two new starts how to do my job because the guy from the training department was doing it wrong. I leave for the day at the end of my shift. Next morning I get told the two new guys had been sacked for trying to steal high value components in full view of a CCTV camera, and a security guard sitting six feet away.
I have one...dude gets fired and proceeds to argue with management that he has not been fired. Gets a bunch of his buddies to come intimidate management into allowing him to keep the job...tense situation, security got involved, etc. Finally convinced this guy that he did in fact lose his job, so he took a bunch of proprietary, highly confidential information and hid it in his house, taking out from time to time to show to his friends and brag about how great he was at the job. He has since re-applied for the same position...
I can't help but think this guy sounds like Trump.
Load More Replies... Worked for a temp job once, dude took some l s d, asked me if I would help him fight everyone in the shop when they came for him. Another guy came in worked good, drank a 40 during lunch and passed out in the parking lot. Fun times.
Not dangerous, just funny. A coworker at a lounge/restaurant came up to me and said, "That band they hired isn't very good. They just play the same songs every night."
Had a new hire in the warehouse decide that shoving crystal meth up her lady parts was okay since she wasn't snorting or smoking it. Oh and she did this while across the table from me, while talking about her daughter who her mother had custody of because of said meth hobby. She also tried to fix her car with zip ties. She ran off the road and bent some control arm. she decided zip tying a block of wood to it would hold the 4000lb car. Last I heard she had been arrested, did a short stint in county and is now clean, and back with her daughter. I wish her well but after seeing someone reach into their pants and shove meth in her hooha, I am happier not knowing her.
And what a bonus for anyone who had unprotected sex with her.
Load More Replies... I have a couple: My wife had a co-worker who advertised her side hustle in the little weekly small-town newspaper . . . and had her work phone listed as the contact. Then she couldn't understand why she got fired. At a place where I used to work they had a guy who was off working alone one day. The boss walked up on him and found him sitting in his truck drinking a beer. When told that wasn't acceptable and he was fired he responded with "But I was on break!"
This should be entitled "40 More Reasons to Respect and Appreciate Serial Killers"
Working in a computer factory around 25 years ago, and had to train two new starts how to do my job because the guy from the training department was doing it wrong. I leave for the day at the end of my shift. Next morning I get told the two new guys had been sacked for trying to steal high value components in full view of a CCTV camera, and a security guard sitting six feet away.
