40 People Share The One Question They Got That Was So Dumb, They Thought The Person Must Be Joking, But They Were 100% Serious
They say there are no stupid questions. Well, that depends on the setting. If it's a classroom full of eager-to-learn minds, then it might be true. But if we're talking about a conversation between two colleagues in front of the coffee machine...
So in an attempt to disprove this old saying, a now-deleted Reddit user asked everyone on the platform to share the dumbest things people have asked them. And they succeeded: the comment section was flooded with ridiculous submissions, stemming from ignorance in subjects like geography, religion, and the human body. Continue scrolling to see our hand-picked selection of the funniest ones!
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About 25 years ago I was explaining time zones to a 20ish year old intern at a large scientific agency. She wasn't getting it, so i got an orange I brought for lunch and used it as the Earth.
Me: Ok, pretend this is the Earth. The sun only shines on one side, so it's day on approximately half at any given time. Now since the Earth rotates (as i spin the orange)...
Intern: So wait. Hold on. So you're saying the Earth is round?
I wish i was joking.
"If you're an atheist, why don't you go around killing people?" I'm worried now that there are people out there who would just casually kill, but don't because they're scared of hell.
Which raises the question, how many people refrain from murder just because they are religious?
Why are you spying on me?
I was working in a call center for Dish Network and a guy called in, very upset. He wanted to know why Dish Network was spying on him. I tried to let him know that we were not in fact spying on him. Which he countered with, "if you are not spying on me then why is there a camera in the damn box?" "Sir, a camera? There is no camera in the receiver" I respond. "Yes there is" he screams "I know there is because I can see everything happening in my room on the TV right now."
I sat there and pondered that statement, trying to figure out what was happening. I asked, "sir, is your TV off right now?" In the background I hear the clear sound of a TV being turned on. I then said, "sir, that is called a reflection. Is there anything else I can help you with?" He hung up.
Why do we need farmers when we have supermarkets. Heard this in real life and blew my mind
I have a steak and sausage farm, and I love how they wrap themselves up these days and ship each other to supermarkets. We virtually have nothing to do.
Before I got married my doctor asked me...
Doctor: Are you sexually active?
Me: yes
Doctor: Are you married?
Me: no
Doctor: Then how can you be sexually active?
I used to be a tour guide in a cave and one summer we had a running contest among the guides to see who could get the dumbest question. Keep in mind, we only accepted questions from adults for entry into the contest. Some of the finalists were:
"Is this cave underground?"
"Will the stalagmites bite me?"
"Are the steps natural?"
"What time is the 4.30 tour?"
And the winner: "Does the water go all the way around the island?"
Are you sure that's how you spell your name
Ι have seen people miss-spell their names so... (and no, they didn't want an alternative spelling)
one of my best friends came to visit me in the hospital when i had my baby. i was laying there with my newborn and there was a banana on a tray next to the bed. he asked, “has he had lunch yet? is that for him?” everyone in the room just cackled so hard that i almost felt bad
I'm half Inuit. In 6th grade I did a social studies project on Inuit people/lifestyles. During my presentation, I brought up the fact that I'm half Inuit and pointed out different things my grandmother was teaching me. A boy in the class the goes "how can you be an indian?? I thought they were like.. extinct"
Someone asked me why I have a dark skinned baby if I'm white and couldn't comprehend how it is possible that my daughter is mixed race
Was in a maternity class with my wife. One of the husbands was an endless source of amazing comments. My favorite was while on the topic of breastfeeding. “So do you just poke holes in them or what?” There was a very long, very shocked pause from the instructor before she explained it to him.
Obviously, someone poked a hole through his ears and left an empty space in there.
"Do you work here?"
No, ma'am, I just... felt like stealing a work vest and working this shoe pallet for giggles.
Is the blue part on a map the sky or the water?
Repairing the scanner scale at a grocery store. I have the scale out of the checkstand, on it's side, bottom removed from the scale, one of the circuit boards removed from the scale and placed on the conveyor belt, I have JUST removed the board that the spinner part connects to (that spinning mirror thing in the bottom of the scanner scale), and someone walks up to the checkstand, places items onto the conveyor and asks "Are you open?"
I should be allowed to throw things at people this dumb.
Working on a tourist sightseeing boat on the ocean in Alaska. Person asks me what elevation we are at. I look down at the ocean and back to them and say, about 10 feet
“Who is the man and who is the woman”in regards to a relationship between two gay men.
I had the neighbors by for a quick chat a few years ago, and we happened to be standing by our goat pen, we had three at the time. For whatever reason, people don't really see goats as pets, and I'm often asked about their purpose, are they meat, etc.
Well, this guy asked if I milked them. I explained that they're all retired breeding males.
He followed that up by asking again if we milk them, and was so affronted by the look I could not help giving him that he left in a huff. I didn't mean to be rude, but I definitely looked at him as if he were an idiot and he was smart enough, at least, to figure that out.
Reminds me of the lady who asked my father why his cows are in a stable and not in the meadows. He told her that they were bulls and too aggressive to run free. Then she said: "But there are cows in there, too! Look, this one has an udder!" And he goes: "No, that thing is not an udder..."
I was having a disagreement with a customer in the workplace. At one point she said “why would I be arguing with you if I was wrong?”.
I mean….what do you say after that?
When people notice one of my tattoos "You know they are permanent Right?" Like sh*t I had no idea, if only I had known you before I got it
A tattoo artist friend once told me he lost count years ago how many "cover up" tattoos he did were on people who thought the tattoos they got would eventually fade away and completely disappear after a few years.
Context I’m a lesbian:
So do you like get turned on looking in a mirror?
In retail "Where is the paint in this stupid store? I was sent down here and they lied! " "Right behind you (literally dozens of paint cans 8 feet behind her) " "No they're not!" I walk past her and put my hand on the can, took her a good 10 seconds of ranting to accept the paint was infact there.
This is second hand from a diving guide in Bermuda: "how far do you have to dive to get under the island?"
What can I take for internal bleeding?
Answer: Hospital man. We’re just a f*cking pharmacy, not a trauma unit.
I have been asked and witnessed stupid questions but I am struggling to think of a good gem.
All I can remember is, "how does the paper get to the other fax machine?"
I tried explaining fax machines merely scan a copy and the image travels through wires and it prints a copy but they weren't getting it.
Another one, a girl was offering me soy sauce and I reminded her I am allergic to soy. "Oh. There's soy in soy sauce?"
After trying to pull my hair off:
Stranger: It's not a wig!?
Me: Uhhh no, it's my hair
Stranger: I thought maybe it was a wig because of cancer or something.
First, how can you touch someone's hair? Second, even if you do get their permission, how can you just pull their hair? Third, so it's okay if the wig comes off? Are you pulling their hair with that intention? In that case, your aim is to embarrass them, which is disgusting, and you are a prick.
A friend of a friend found out during a party that I was serving in the US Army Reserve asked me if I had ever killed anyone.
Sigh
No, I'm not combat arms and I've never even deployed.
Seriously stop asking ANY service member this stupid ass question unless you want a stupid ass answer back.
I would just say, "No, not yet." Then look them straight in the eye and finish with, "but the night's still young."
Once my mom had to have part of a lung removed due to cancer. Afterwards, the doctor showed us the imaging that showed the remaining cancer spread through the rest of her lungs, which we already knew about. My dad asked him why they didn't remove all of her lungs.
“What was it like to grow up in a third world country?” My step grandmother the first time I met her after moving to the the US from Canada...
”Why don’t they schedule New Year’s Eve so that it’ll always be on a Monday?”
"Continents would float away if they weren't anchored down, right?"
Edit: This was asked by an 18 y/o girl in a top-level secondary school.
Is Thailand in alaska.
No, they just have one ethnic minority in common, the bigfoot, you must have heard.
I worked at an ice cream store and someone came in, looked at the ice cream cone I was handing to someone then looked at me and asked "what kind of soups do you have"
A lady asked if the bubble lights on the Christmas tree were "filled with colored champagne."
Whilst being a tourist in the colloseum in Rome, I once heard an adult tourist ask "Is this where Jesus fought the lions?"
( work with animals professionally) A woman was taking her dog to see the vet because when they drank water the fur around their face became darker and they were *very* worried about it.
"Is it dangerous? Can it hurt her?"
"No. Have you never noticed that your daughter's hair gets darker when you wash it...?"
Someone asked me if there were peanuts in the peanut butter cheesecake. She said her boyfriend was allergic and she was trying to get him dessert
I would understand the reason for the question in Britain, as foods names don't make any sense. E.g. Yorkshire pudding.
A cocktail server that I’m training: “is there vodka in a rum and Coke?”
Yes, they mix it in at the very end. But only a drop or two because otherwise they wouldn't be able to get away with sneaking it in there.
After seeing me constantly reading on break, a manager at Walmart asked if I was illiterate. (An ICS employee made a mistake which cost the store money and blamed it on me.) I glared at the manager and asked if they were an idiot, I read all the f*cking time! Needless to say, that company is not on good terms with me, nor I with them.
"Do African Americans come from Africa America?"
It kinda makes sense. People who have never seen Africa, just like most of their ancestors, are called "African" Americans. The same stands for "Asian", "Arab" Americans, etc. Interestingly, only white Americans are called just "Americans", as if they originally sprung from the crevasses of the Rocky mountains. Even the natives are "Native Americans". Labeling is a form of segregation.
Oh, you're from Australia? Do you know Jane?
Aaaah, Jane had some issues with Tarzan recently, so she moved back to the African jungle. She hates civilizational stress.
On the highway looking at a car that stopped on side lane
Me: oh look that guy Has a flat tire damn.
My cousin: dude the tire is only flat on one side he can still drive wtf
I thought he was joking but he genuinely didn‘t realise what he said.
He was 15 at the time...
How it was possible that my husband and I had different last names. A doctor asked me this.
Once when I was in a tech support group I literally had a guy email me and ask for my email address.
My friends wellness teacher did this. He emailed her and said "Hello, _____ _______. What is your school email address?" He was literally emailing her from her school email address.
My friend once asked me how many beers were in a 6-pack.. I was speechless
There's 7 in a six pack. It's an alcoholic's 6 Pack, much like a baker's dozen.
Once had an intern ask what a battery was, after someone asked her to pass them two batteries.
How do you go your whole life without seeing a single battery? Did she never use things that required batteries? I'm so confuzzled.
How many third cups are in a cup … She worked in a bakery.
When we (my family) moved from South Carolina to Ireland someone asked “are you gonna drive there?”
My high school honors English teacher had a full on argument with me about how I spell my name and whether it was cultural appropriation for me to spell it that way."
My name was a Native American word, despite me being whiter then wonder bread. My parents thought they were just being creative with the spelling of an extremely popular girls name at the time of naming me, found out when I was 3 or 4 that it was the word for 'turtle' in a Lakota Sioux.
I changed my name last fall so there's less arguments but people are still weird.
My Surname is Colohan. I had an argument with a teacher at my school about the spelling of my name. She thought it was Callaghan. I told her that that was a different Surname NOT just a different spelling of my name. She kept going on about it even making the smart comment to another teacher that she thought I was an idiot because I couldn't spell my own name. She only stopped when I brought in my Birth Certificate to prove it.
My surname is also a first name. My friend once asked me how to spell it because she needed to write our classmate's name (the first name version) on our project, and once I spelt it, she was like 'are you sure?' Yes you numpty.
I also have a cousin with that first name (different surname obviously). He was spelling it for me (he was telling me his email) and I was like 'I'm gonna stop you there mate
What happens if the contact lens falls behind your eye and into your bloodstream -- oh, wait.. blood would go through it because it's clear, right?
This person was not high, drunk while very kind, they were easily the most air-headed person I've ever known. That quote was over 25 years ago and I've never forgotten it.
Contact lenses can't fall behind your eye because they are tacked to the eye ball. Common knowledge.
Told a girl I was starting college in the fall and she asked if I was going to "Campus". She had heard the word used and thought it was the name of a college.
"Oh my god, Julius Caesar was stabbed to death?"
Asked by my mom who also tried to argue with me because she doesn't believe that the Sun is a star.
Regarding socks: "How many are in a pair?"
Actually that's a real question when you try to sort them out of the washing machine.
'Did you visit the Chinatown?' after I told a friend that I had been to China as part of a business trip
Is meat considered a vegetable? She realised quickly and facepalmed so hard it left a mark
This reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend about the food pyramid. She thought eggs belonged in the dairy section because she actually believes eggs are dairy. I tried to explain that eggs come from chickens, and she could not be convinced that eggs are actually poultry.
Why can’t I download more battery?
What if schools renamed their science classes to be "Secrets of the Universe" and told the students that politicians who cut school funding don't want people to know the secrets. Maybe more students would pay more attention?
i had a goth/emo phase in 8th grade and was asked what gothic people ate for dinner lol
I’m a twin & have been asked how old my sister is after revealing my age (or vice versa)
I'm in IT management. Where do I even begin?
"There's an error on the screen that says I need to restart to complete the update, what should I do?"
"Do they use skeleton keys to unlock cemetery gates and mausoleum doors?"
That I can't have a baby because I don't have a belly button
"Is that the sun?"
It was after 10pm and, just in case you're still wondering, no, no it wasn't.
Parent asking me - “is the zero on my kid’s progress report mean he didn’t do it? What does “missing assignment” mean?
"Let me explain it to you. The parents of your kid failed to check if your kid actually did his homework because he probably swore to them that he did. Not your fault at all, blame the kid's parents."
"Does ground beef come from the ground?" Molly G in Mr Ballesterros' Freshmen Spanish class circa 2007ish at SHS in Phoenix Az. Nobody forgets anything Molly!
“Are you ok” many many many people asked me this after my partner died on the worst day of my life. My reply “no I’m not f*cking ok”
It's not a stupid question. It's an expression of concern. It's rhetorical in the same way "hi, how are you?" really doesn't require an answer. And while you're clearly hurting, that kind of aggressive response is going to mean fewer people ask, and fewer people will stick around to help you get back to ok.
Why haven't you got a boyfriend?
Are you sleeping ?
A question asked by nurses in Dutch hospitals 8 times per night while shining with a military grade torch in your face making you feel like you're in Guantanamo Bay prison.
I use to work in a grocery store.
People would legitimately ask me “ where’s the juice aisle? “ while we are in the aisle with the juice
“Can you cut this open for me?”
It was a watermelon.
I was working in a fresh meat cutting department, covered in at least 3 different kinds of animal blood, and we had a bigass window that CLEARLY shows there’s blood on everything.
"Where's the escalator?" asked by someone who was directly in front of the escalator and had walked past it three times. I was very nice when I just pointed.
Okay, so you gotta go walk up the stairs and to the third clothes aisle. Then talk to a guy named Bow. Tell him I sent you and he'll show you the way to the escalator.
My younger brother (age 12) came up to me and asked, “is there a talking donkey in the bathroom?”
To this day, I have no idea how to respond.
this girl took my skateboard, just stood on it and asked me "Why isn't it going?"
How old where you when you were young?
"Are you left handed?"
Only after the person asking has watched me write with my left hand.
“How much do you cost?”
“Do you think the strongest man in the world can lift the titanic?”
This sounds like a cheesy answer to be funny, but I swear on everything good in this world this was a real question a kid in my high school asked his mom. Supposedly she just responded “you’re grounded” but that part could be made up. I like to Think it’s not.
Is the internet male or female?
Well many languages have gendered words. In French, for example, "Internet" is a male word.
"Is chicken a type of beef?" To be fair the kid was 9. It still resonates in my head when I think of dumb questions tho...so yeah
When taking my MIL for a spin in my new Tesla: “how is this thing on gas?”
“Oh you wear glasses?”
They say while looking at me wear glasses...
“How much is this?”
I was in a Dollar Tree.
have inherited depression I get "what do you have to be depressed about". then I always have to explain that's not how it works
My dad: "Are you sure you don't want to just be a nurse or a teacher?" (Yes, he said "just".) That sticks with me after thirty-plus years b/c he repeated it so often. I still find I grind my teeth if I think of it. "Just a nurse, just a teacher" is bad enough, but it was in context of "I want to be a doctor or a forest ranger" statements I'd make.
My Ex and I were driving over Donner Pass on a four-lane highway and went by the monument. My wife said she didn't know about the Donner Party, which I thought was strange as she was valedictorian of her high school. So, I proceeded to tell her the story of the Donner party and how they were stranded and ended up cannibalizing each other and when I finished, there was a long pause and then she said, "Why didn't they just follow the road out?" I thought the covered wagons and date would have been the first clue about roads.
In Germany, a U.S. Army soldier saw another soldier in a different uniform and asked him where he was from? The second soldier said he was from Canada. The U.S. soldier said "Wow, it must have taken you over a week to drive here, right?
I've told this one before: We're watching a film in a college oceanography class. There's a scene of a humpback whale and her calf swimming along, when one of the students suddenly asks, "Wait a minute - is this **underwater**??!!?"
"Before trying chemo are you going to give cannabis a chance?" No f***wit, I'm not.
"Is cuckoo a bird? Are you sure? That's a type of clock!" Yes I'm sure a cuckoo is a bird and, wait for it, the clock was named after it!
"You don't need to wear a bra right?" I told him I definitely did and he was so confused. Apparently he thought I was completely flat chested and I had to prove him wrong by holding my shirt tight on my back so you could see easier. He was so shocked. I mean, I wear looser shirts but you can still tell I'm not flat. I just have a smaller chest.
Overheard at the chemist just this afternoon: the chemist is explaining to Grandma that toddler Grandson's antibiotics need to be taken 30 minutes to an hour before food, or 2 hours after. Grandma asks "oh, we were just going to go for an ice cream straight after this, does that count as food? Its just a little one." Chemist "err yes ma'am, it does"
Some of these are completely idiotic, I agree. But I have many, many years of teaching and librarianship and other kinds of education behind me, and I have learned that the education system has failed so many people that they don't even know what they don't know. I have never treated anyone as stupid for not knowing something. I have seen so many people considered failures that they are too scared to ask or find out, because they don't think they are smart enough. I worked with a 9 year old who was about to be sent to special ed. Turned out he missed nearly a year of early school because of illness and was never given any reading catch up. In three months he was a straight A student. I had a 45 year old employee who wouldn't read anything and insisted on being told everything verbally because he had been told he was a lousy reader and dumb. He loved westerns and raunchy stuff, so I bought him a Louis L'Amour book. 25 years later, he reads at least two library books a week.
My partner who is an executive director for a major company was talking to his his boss who is the GM & CFO about rehiring an employee who failed a drug test. They were going to rehire him because the company policy changed and they were no longer testing employees for THC since it was now legal for medical use in our state. They spent months in meetings making the decision to stop testing for THC. While discussing rehiring this employee the GM asked him what THC was and if it was cocaine.
One evening at a bus stop, I was in my 20's and wore a long black coat and I was putting my black leather gloves on and this random guy asked, very concerned and a bit scared: "Are you a secret agent?". He thought I was Jennifer Garner in ALIAS.
Wait which math class do you have? Oh wait you sit right behind me in math.
I had to explain to someone that even with a surge protector, they will loose power in a black out. On a work trip with co worker who says because it's raining I needed to pull over and wait for the rain too stop. No one drives in the rain. Had someone tell me their color printer isn't working. I told them you don't have a color printer, she pointed at her color monitor. Today had a user demand I log in as her to fix an issue. I told her I don't have her password. She was still confused why I couldn't log in as her. Had a co worker who refused to use the driver that came with the scanner, instead he used another installer that wasn't compatible. Then had the nerve to tell me my instructions don't work. Then he lied and said our other coworker told him to use the wrong installer.
Not a dumb question, but a puzzling statement from an ex-coworker. She was a college grad, normally pretty well informed, but when another lady said she was going to Chile on vacation, the Puzzler said “Ew, no, I couldn’t stand being in a jungle like that.” I didn’t bother breaking it to her.
Can I add to this: Just about every third question that a customer asks the service industry. I have too many examples to start listing them.
First thing I learnt as an instructor was there are no stupid questions. People might know loads of things you don't, but not understand something you think is just plain obvious. Many of these though are just people being condescending c***s because someone didn't understand something that they probably should, but had never learnt about.
My evil stepmother's car overheated & she drove it home. My dad was being impatient & wanted to spray it with the hose to cool off the hood so he could open it. She snarled, "but that would just make steam." She was a teacher.
>“Do the chicken lettuce wraps have chicken in them?” That might be a fair question, depending on the restaurant.
Mr garrison on South Park says "There are no stupid questions just stupid people."
Oh Lord, I haven't laughed this hard and long in ages. Needed to go and get tissues.
I have a few. My two favorites are: 1. "Is a bat an insect?" 2. *talking about Tom Holland* "He's from like, England right? Isn't that where Canada is?"
Okay, I have two. First- when I was 17 I had a friend (15 years old) come over to my place from youth group. She walked up the hallway and said, "do you know where the toilet is in this house?" Not "where is the toilet". DO YOU KNOW. No, I've lived in this house my entire life, but I've yet to find it... Second: my mother and I ran into our old (retired) family doctor while having coffee. He treated my brother and myself as kids, my parents and my grandparents- and went to church with my grandparents. He said "and did you know that Barbara [last name] died a few years ago?" Barbara was my grandmother. Yes, yes we were aware...we kind of planned the funeral for her that you attended...
My wife once asked me why male dogs have nipples. She later figured out what she had said and asked me why I didn't just laugh at her.
I lived on the back road to Disney World. Just three houses on the road. People would constantly ask me how to get to Disneyland. Go back the way you came. Get on I-4 towards Orlando. Head north until you get to Georgia, then turn left and drive until you hit California, then follow the signs. These idiots would drive THROUGH my yard and come pound on my door while people with them tried to steal my oranges. There were exceptions...and I would be nice, sometimes.
I did a group AMA thing a few days ago for students to ask adults questions, and one of the questions was “how do I get a girl fried”. Not girl friend, girl fried. The answer was to start with some spelling lessons.
I once forgot how to spell "who" and walked around my house yelling "H-O-O... HOO.. no..". my poor family probably thought I was possessed by an owl :D
I was buying kitty litter and the cashier asked if I had a cat? I answered “No, this is for my company coming to dinner tonight!”
Back in sevenths grade we were reading Hound of the Baskervilles, and we had too write a paragraph on why the books were so popular at the time, and one bloke said “ well, most of the Sherlock Holmes books seem to be mysteries” and I hit my head really loud on the table
I had a girl friend ask me twice what the difference between Mexico and New mexico was.. I knew it was time to cut ties
During one of my phusicals my doctor says to me, "You do realize that you are over weight?" I said " Dr. S...I am fat, I am not blind." It's the first time I ever heard him laugh.
Well, we laugh, but all in all this is more than a little disturbing.
Someone once asked me what half of 6 is, so I think I've got all these beat. And no, it wasn't a child. It was a grown-*** woman in her 40s. I honestly don't understand how she made it to that age. I would think someone that stupid would've long ago starved to death trying to find her way out her own front door in the morning.
I was working at a restaurant with a floor show. A co-worker said, "You know, that band isn't very good, they just play the same bunch of songs every night."
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The dumbest question I've ever been asked was quite memorable, and appropriately came from one of the top 5 dumbest people I've ever known: my dad's 3rd wife. I was ranting a little bit one day about how much I hated cars/trucks of all sorts, and that if they all disappeared tomorrow I wouldn't shed a tear. She thought about it for a minute, and then said, "Well, I guess you'd have to move closer to the grocery store then, wouldn't you?" We all looked at her to see if she was joking and she was dead serious. "You know, so you wouldn't have to walk so far to get your groceries home!" I was 16 (22 years ago), and I will never forget that as long as I live. 😳
have inherited depression I get "what do you have to be depressed about". then I always have to explain that's not how it works
My dad: "Are you sure you don't want to just be a nurse or a teacher?" (Yes, he said "just".) That sticks with me after thirty-plus years b/c he repeated it so often. I still find I grind my teeth if I think of it. "Just a nurse, just a teacher" is bad enough, but it was in context of "I want to be a doctor or a forest ranger" statements I'd make.
My Ex and I were driving over Donner Pass on a four-lane highway and went by the monument. My wife said she didn't know about the Donner Party, which I thought was strange as she was valedictorian of her high school. So, I proceeded to tell her the story of the Donner party and how they were stranded and ended up cannibalizing each other and when I finished, there was a long pause and then she said, "Why didn't they just follow the road out?" I thought the covered wagons and date would have been the first clue about roads.
In Germany, a U.S. Army soldier saw another soldier in a different uniform and asked him where he was from? The second soldier said he was from Canada. The U.S. soldier said "Wow, it must have taken you over a week to drive here, right?
I've told this one before: We're watching a film in a college oceanography class. There's a scene of a humpback whale and her calf swimming along, when one of the students suddenly asks, "Wait a minute - is this **underwater**??!!?"
"Before trying chemo are you going to give cannabis a chance?" No f***wit, I'm not.
"Is cuckoo a bird? Are you sure? That's a type of clock!" Yes I'm sure a cuckoo is a bird and, wait for it, the clock was named after it!
"You don't need to wear a bra right?" I told him I definitely did and he was so confused. Apparently he thought I was completely flat chested and I had to prove him wrong by holding my shirt tight on my back so you could see easier. He was so shocked. I mean, I wear looser shirts but you can still tell I'm not flat. I just have a smaller chest.
Overheard at the chemist just this afternoon: the chemist is explaining to Grandma that toddler Grandson's antibiotics need to be taken 30 minutes to an hour before food, or 2 hours after. Grandma asks "oh, we were just going to go for an ice cream straight after this, does that count as food? Its just a little one." Chemist "err yes ma'am, it does"
Some of these are completely idiotic, I agree. But I have many, many years of teaching and librarianship and other kinds of education behind me, and I have learned that the education system has failed so many people that they don't even know what they don't know. I have never treated anyone as stupid for not knowing something. I have seen so many people considered failures that they are too scared to ask or find out, because they don't think they are smart enough. I worked with a 9 year old who was about to be sent to special ed. Turned out he missed nearly a year of early school because of illness and was never given any reading catch up. In three months he was a straight A student. I had a 45 year old employee who wouldn't read anything and insisted on being told everything verbally because he had been told he was a lousy reader and dumb. He loved westerns and raunchy stuff, so I bought him a Louis L'Amour book. 25 years later, he reads at least two library books a week.
My partner who is an executive director for a major company was talking to his his boss who is the GM & CFO about rehiring an employee who failed a drug test. They were going to rehire him because the company policy changed and they were no longer testing employees for THC since it was now legal for medical use in our state. They spent months in meetings making the decision to stop testing for THC. While discussing rehiring this employee the GM asked him what THC was and if it was cocaine.
One evening at a bus stop, I was in my 20's and wore a long black coat and I was putting my black leather gloves on and this random guy asked, very concerned and a bit scared: "Are you a secret agent?". He thought I was Jennifer Garner in ALIAS.
Wait which math class do you have? Oh wait you sit right behind me in math.
I had to explain to someone that even with a surge protector, they will loose power in a black out. On a work trip with co worker who says because it's raining I needed to pull over and wait for the rain too stop. No one drives in the rain. Had someone tell me their color printer isn't working. I told them you don't have a color printer, she pointed at her color monitor. Today had a user demand I log in as her to fix an issue. I told her I don't have her password. She was still confused why I couldn't log in as her. Had a co worker who refused to use the driver that came with the scanner, instead he used another installer that wasn't compatible. Then had the nerve to tell me my instructions don't work. Then he lied and said our other coworker told him to use the wrong installer.
Not a dumb question, but a puzzling statement from an ex-coworker. She was a college grad, normally pretty well informed, but when another lady said she was going to Chile on vacation, the Puzzler said “Ew, no, I couldn’t stand being in a jungle like that.” I didn’t bother breaking it to her.
Can I add to this: Just about every third question that a customer asks the service industry. I have too many examples to start listing them.
First thing I learnt as an instructor was there are no stupid questions. People might know loads of things you don't, but not understand something you think is just plain obvious. Many of these though are just people being condescending c***s because someone didn't understand something that they probably should, but had never learnt about.
My evil stepmother's car overheated & she drove it home. My dad was being impatient & wanted to spray it with the hose to cool off the hood so he could open it. She snarled, "but that would just make steam." She was a teacher.
>“Do the chicken lettuce wraps have chicken in them?” That might be a fair question, depending on the restaurant.
Mr garrison on South Park says "There are no stupid questions just stupid people."
Oh Lord, I haven't laughed this hard and long in ages. Needed to go and get tissues.
I have a few. My two favorites are: 1. "Is a bat an insect?" 2. *talking about Tom Holland* "He's from like, England right? Isn't that where Canada is?"
Okay, I have two. First- when I was 17 I had a friend (15 years old) come over to my place from youth group. She walked up the hallway and said, "do you know where the toilet is in this house?" Not "where is the toilet". DO YOU KNOW. No, I've lived in this house my entire life, but I've yet to find it... Second: my mother and I ran into our old (retired) family doctor while having coffee. He treated my brother and myself as kids, my parents and my grandparents- and went to church with my grandparents. He said "and did you know that Barbara [last name] died a few years ago?" Barbara was my grandmother. Yes, yes we were aware...we kind of planned the funeral for her that you attended...
My wife once asked me why male dogs have nipples. She later figured out what she had said and asked me why I didn't just laugh at her.
I lived on the back road to Disney World. Just three houses on the road. People would constantly ask me how to get to Disneyland. Go back the way you came. Get on I-4 towards Orlando. Head north until you get to Georgia, then turn left and drive until you hit California, then follow the signs. These idiots would drive THROUGH my yard and come pound on my door while people with them tried to steal my oranges. There were exceptions...and I would be nice, sometimes.
I did a group AMA thing a few days ago for students to ask adults questions, and one of the questions was “how do I get a girl fried”. Not girl friend, girl fried. The answer was to start with some spelling lessons.
I once forgot how to spell "who" and walked around my house yelling "H-O-O... HOO.. no..". my poor family probably thought I was possessed by an owl :D
I was buying kitty litter and the cashier asked if I had a cat? I answered “No, this is for my company coming to dinner tonight!”
Back in sevenths grade we were reading Hound of the Baskervilles, and we had too write a paragraph on why the books were so popular at the time, and one bloke said “ well, most of the Sherlock Holmes books seem to be mysteries” and I hit my head really loud on the table
I had a girl friend ask me twice what the difference between Mexico and New mexico was.. I knew it was time to cut ties
During one of my phusicals my doctor says to me, "You do realize that you are over weight?" I said " Dr. S...I am fat, I am not blind." It's the first time I ever heard him laugh.
Well, we laugh, but all in all this is more than a little disturbing.
Someone once asked me what half of 6 is, so I think I've got all these beat. And no, it wasn't a child. It was a grown-*** woman in her 40s. I honestly don't understand how she made it to that age. I would think someone that stupid would've long ago starved to death trying to find her way out her own front door in the morning.
I was working at a restaurant with a floor show. A co-worker said, "You know, that band isn't very good, they just play the same bunch of songs every night."
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The dumbest question I've ever been asked was quite memorable, and appropriately came from one of the top 5 dumbest people I've ever known: my dad's 3rd wife. I was ranting a little bit one day about how much I hated cars/trucks of all sorts, and that if they all disappeared tomorrow I wouldn't shed a tear. She thought about it for a minute, and then said, "Well, I guess you'd have to move closer to the grocery store then, wouldn't you?" We all looked at her to see if she was joking and she was dead serious. "You know, so you wouldn't have to walk so far to get your groceries home!" I was 16 (22 years ago), and I will never forget that as long as I live. 😳
