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“Every woman knows what I’m talking about,” wrote the author Rebecca Solnit in her hugely influential portion of the essay “Men Explain Things To Me” which first appeared in the 2008 Los Angeles Times. It’s when the concept of ‘mansplaining’ was born, and it refers to men explaining something to a woman in a condescending, overconfident, and often inaccurate manner without being asked to do so.

According to Solnit, men explaining things to women is not an innocent act, but rather it trains them into self-limitation and self-doubt, and further fuels men’s unsupported confidence.

Fast forward to today, and women around the world still find themselves being mansplained to like it was no big deal. So when Twitter user Priscilla tweeted a question “What’s the dumbest thing that’s ever been mansplained to you?” it immediately went viral with 340.2K likes.

It turned out she was far from the only one whose “husband let her know their home was 'up ahead on the left'” when she was driving. Many more women joined the thread to share their experiences of men lecturing them, and if it’s not illuminating, I don’t know what is.

Image credits: itsPKav

#1

Dumbest-Mansplaining

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Bored Panda reached out to the writer, designer, and content creator Priscilla Kavanaugh, who’s the person behind this viral Twitter thread. Priscilla, who runs the blog “Bonjouritchesblog.com,” believes that the reasons for mansplaining have to do with “boys and young men who are empowered in different ways than girls and young women.”

For example, “Girls are taught to 'be nice,' while boys are taught to be fearless.” “Of course,” she added, “it's not as black and white as that, but I think that's a big chunk. We have a lot of work to do!”

When asked what she thinks is the best reaction you can give if you're mansplained to, Priscilla said that her go-to in a sticky situation is “to make a joke, which surely isn't always the best route.” She also stressed that it’s really difficult to be prepared simply because “you never know when you'll find yourself being mansplained to.”

#4

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troufaki13
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My bf once tried to explain to my DENTIST brother the difference between black and white fillings. He insisted that black ones are better because he "read an article online 10 years ago"

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#5

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Kill-Bunny
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

An older male gynecologist tried to explain to me, that all my pains are imaginary (it was a 2 week follow-up appointment after I was delivered to the same hospital unconscious from my period pain with my pants all soaked in blood and pain medication not working) and that I should see I psychiatrist instead or try other methods to seek attention from people, so I would not disturb doctors. "Periods are not that bad" - he said, "Look at men, we don't have to imagine sickness to get attention" - he said. Took some time to get the right diagnosis. It was not in my head.

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#6

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Rissie
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just because you speak it, doesn' t mean you... I got nothing, sorry.

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That doesn’t change the fact that mansplaining is indeed an inherently wrong practice. “Mansplaining is extremely demeaning. Being mansplained to makes one feel 'less than,' and as if one's knowledge isn't worth respecting. Over time, it creates patterns of silence—women simply stop advocating for themselves or sharing ideas because it's exhausting.”

And when it comes to her Twitter thread, Priscilla said that she truly realized that mansplainers “know no boundaries.” On the other hand, “I also learned that there are men out there that are open to learning and trying to put a stop to their own mansplaining; that was very encouraging.”

Thanks to her thread going viral, Priscilla has also interacted with a lot of women who had tons of interesting perspectives. “I asked many of them if I could share their stories in a book, and the response I got was overwhelmingly positive. I really hope I can get it published someday. I think it could be a fun, useful tool for shifting this behavior.”

#7

Dumbest-Mansplaining

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Sarcastic Panda
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

are you joking? I'm a kid and I would've decked him too

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Phoenix
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When a boys voice changes during puberty I don’t hear them screaming from down the hall in a different room.

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Rissie
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How? Just how...? If it wasn't a joke, he would have publicly shamed by me if it was my kid.

tiari avatar
Tiari
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would have just asked Jimmie he made testament yet because surely he is aware that men can die from changing voice, like women can from giving birth.

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Sasha Kuleshov
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, they also think menstruation is something we can control -____-

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CowboyHank
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had to pass 2 kidney stones in one sitting. I've also been in the room for all 4 of my children being born. Having not been in my wife's head during the labor, I gotta say I felt like I got close.

c_s_e_ avatar
C.S. E.
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's, actually, true. Passing a kidney stone is equally painful for men and women and it is one of the most painful things a human can experience. I've had friends who have both passed kidney stones and given birth and they say it's a tossup. The main difference is the length of time and the damage to one's body. My sister didn't have an epidural with her second; she said it was like passing a football covered in razor blades.

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Veronica Sjöberg
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You can compare the pain of childbirth if you actually have done it, otherwise you have no say. Sorry not sorry.

c_s_e_ avatar
C.S. E.
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Noticed that he apparently said it was 'worse than.' Is that worse in physical pain or in personal embarrassment, because he's wrong on both accounts.

mdr_1 avatar
Potato
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, now, I don't know. I wouldn't be personally embarrassed to birth a child.

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Chris Challis
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

brother made a fool of himself. no one would be heeding that sort of stupid comment.

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MRSS
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good come back from Mom. While I chose to not have Children and cannot actually speak of the pain of Childbirth, I was in the room for my Niece and Nephews birth, mind you my Sister had one of the highest pain tolerances I've ever seen and I have never seen her in worse pain. I have been in the room for 2 of my cousins kids births and she passed out from the pain a few times, and yes it was solely from the pain since the Dr's obviously checked and she has a high pain tolerance as well. So for a guy who's biggest natural pain is getting hit in the nuts says that's worse you can take your nuts and crush them and it doesn't hurt more. S**t out a watermelon and maybe it will be slightly more comparable.

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Scyth
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actually, crushing testicles is more painful and can lead to death from organs shock. Any form of torture is worse than childbirth.

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Vlad Kollerov
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ahahaha. She should tell him very good Russian anecdote: Man came to the doctor and start to complain. "My wife always telling me that childbirth is so painful. But I don't know. I don't believe her. With all modern painkillers... Doctor, can you explain this to me? Is this a real thing?" Old doctor listen his endless complaints carefully, and told him: "Of course I can help you understand! Nurse! Please, patch this man ass!"

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Dark Pearl
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would have kicked his crotch so hard his whole genitalia reascended

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Jane Alexander
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who was that pro athlete who had us all rotflol, when he said that a skinned knee was worse than childbirth? Does he think we all land on earth full-grown and pregnant?

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Arenite
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She should have. Teach the kids the consequences of stupidity.

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Tomek Sztuk
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What the actual duck?! I'm a man, so I know a thing about voice change. It doesn't hurt at all 🙄

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Louloubelle
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How many flies did they catch with all those mouths hanging open?

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David Retsler
Community Member
3 years ago

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Well... If your voice changed because you were violently kicked in the nuts...

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BM85
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3 years ago

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If it was really so bad, women wouldn’t choose to do it again. If you stub your toe you don’t go looking to do that again do you? 😆

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Phoenix
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The body has a chemical reaction that causes the pain of birth to be extremely fuzzy, also people take all sorts of stuff during labor for the birth to be as unpainful as possible. I don’t see any of that happening now when you stub your toe.

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Stacy S.
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3 years ago

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I admire your dedication to your family . What an honor to be present at the births.

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Stacy S.
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3 years ago

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Most men would not live through natural child birth. Lower pain threshold.

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American writer Rebecca Solnit, whose 2008 essay “Men Explain Things to Me” helped to give birth to the term “mansplaining,” helped to define the phenomenon with which too many women could relate. Translated into multiple languages, the text inspired many memes, parodies, and ongoing discussions on whether the term has actually done more harm than good.

When asked about what Solnit thinks of the term today, the writer told The Washington Post recently that “I used to focus on its negatives: It does get used too broadly at times, and it can imply that anything men hold forth on is mansplaining.”

#10

Dumbest-Mansplaining

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Mohsie Supposie
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Act completely dumb. Let him tune it. Play something horrible. Retune it correctly. Then play something nice and see his face change!

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#11

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chi-wei shen
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I recommend to use the heaviest frying pan but she most likely would do this anyway.

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Having said that, the author added that women have been pointing out the incredible value in the term, which helped to describe “an experience most women have but didn’t have terminology for, beyond generics like patronizing, presumptuous, and so forth.”

“I often talk about the importance of calling things by their true name, of the value of precise description, so I’m pleased to have inspired a word that is now in many languages, including, recently, Icelandic,” Solnit commented.

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#14

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Agfox
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, that's once instance where you'd have to think really hard about whether it would be worth losing a dose or stabbing him with your epipen

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#15

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Rebel
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've had the same, the guy told me at the end of the night: "thanks for helping me!" And mansplaining like 10 things to me. I literally worked there for 2 nights a week for a full year, he had worked there a couple of times and did one shift with me..

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In 2018, another author and design executive Kim Goodwin went viral with a chart she created to help to show men if they were mansplaining or not. Her “Am I Mansplaining?” chart has amassed 124.5k likes and 58.9k retweets on Twitter.

While drawing the chart, Kim realized “the '-splaining' part comes down to three factors.” First, it’s all about whether “they want the explanation?” She proceeds to explain further: “If someone asks you a question, explain away! Unsolicited explanations may be fine (within reason) if you’re someone’s teacher or manager. Explaining after they’ve declined your help is almost always disrespectful.”

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Secondly, you should ask yourself if you “Are you making bad assumptions about competence?” According to Kim, “explaining things to knowledgeable people isn’t just wasting everyone’s time, and you may, regardless of your intent, undermine them by implying you don’t trust their competence or intelligence.” Moreover, “You also run the risk of undermining yourself by looking like you have an inflated opinion of your own knowledge.”

And thirdly, Kim asks “How does bias affect your interpretation of the above?” since “both questions are complicated by sexism and other kinds of bias.” According to her, we’re all taught gender bias from an early age, “with boys and girls being criticized and praised for different behaviors in school.”

Even though we like to think that we treat people in a fair manner, it’s not often the case. “Men often assume women are less competent, and white people are likely to assume darker skin equals lower intelligence,” Kim concluded.

#19

Dumbest-Mansplaining

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Sarcastic Panda
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ah, I see. tell me more about the things I've lived with for my whole life.

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#20

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Rissie
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just say "Thank you deary, now shush shush and move along, tut tut". And make those hand movements kindergarten teachers make when they are interrupted and send kids along.

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#23

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lenka
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They could start the conversation by asking a question about why she's wearing bees? Maybe asking if she really likes bees or asking why she likes bees? There are lots of ways to start a conversation that dont assume the person you are speaking to is completely ignorant of [insert any] topic.

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#25

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N G
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't get me started on the Brexiteer crowd who insist that Britain isn't geographically part of Europe. Not politically - that point has already been addressed. These morons insist that the physical island itself (including NI, which I just overlook because my brain hurts at this point) is not part of the collection of countries, including those outside the EU, known as Europe. So... which of the seven continents does it belong in then?

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#26

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Samantha Lomb
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

yeah the wetness of the grass has nothing to do with it. Though if you fixed the lawnmower like my dad used to ( with much swearing and occassional flying objects) Mr. mansplain will stay away

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#28

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Charlotte
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They're only one letter different and both did art - basically the same person, right?

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#29

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Samantha Lomb
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wanna bet the mansplainer was white too, just for another extra layer of irony?

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#31

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Carol Emory
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You wonder sometimes if they Mansplain because they are verbally reminding THEMSELVES on how to do something, but don't want to seem like idiots for talking to no one.

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#32

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Stille20
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So the comment that is causing a ruckus is "he was trying to help". It misses the point. It was a parent, jumping in from the sidelines to comment on something they had never done. Regardless of gender it is not helpful

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#34

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Sarcastic Panda
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

because they know SOOOOO much more about it. (that was sarcasm by the way.)

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#35

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Joey Marlin
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Worse than mansplaining as there was no explanation. This is high level patronisation.

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#37

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Bobert Robertson
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is not mansplaining or toxic masculinity, this is just a husband trying to help when his wife is struggling.

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#38

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Charlotte
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

TIL "coozie" is the name for those insulating can holder sleeve things. But I thought the main aim was to stop the can becoming warm and your hand not getting cold was just a side perk?

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#42

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#43

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Arlo Danielson
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh damn I hate it when people explain the obvious, and also when people assume that a woman did it lol

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#44

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Periwinkle
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Of course he does, why are you even questioning that? He doesnt need medical education.. The future is now.

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#45

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qwerty
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mansplainers have achieved a whole new level of arrogance.

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#46

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qwerty
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Please ignore the idiotic comments below this one. Have a nice day.

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#47

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Carol Emory
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When Subaru Outback's first came out, I had a salesman try to convince me it was a good car because it was a box engine with a low center of gravity so it would do wonderful on turns. I said "Yep..and the only other car that has a box engine is a Porche..which means if anything happens to said box engine, it's going to be expensive as heck to fix." He got quiet after that.

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#48

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Linus Nilsson
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Of course, he couldn't beat you at your game, you should get down to his level

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#50

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cybermerlin2000
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He was probably scared and stressed out and trying to find a way to distract himself. Personally I crack jokes when I get stressed, worried, upset, angry, scared, depressed... I pretty much crack jokes all the time

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#52

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Linus Nilsson
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've washed my clothes since I was a child as well, and even worked at a laundry for years, being responsible for the washing machines. I took several courses on different machines, but I would not claim to know everything about washing clothes. This needs context.

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#54

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Rissie
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That sounds like it needs context. If you are together for such a long time I doubt a partner would actually explain that at that point. I doubt anybody would explain it as in really explaining how it works. And if they would, how are they your life partner? So. Yeah. No.

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#55

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Damon Hill
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Reminds me of a salesman telling me joist hangers (holding 32 in my hand) are so helpful, better than toenailing. Since they've been code longer than he's been alive I'm wondering where he ever encountered toenailed joists?

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#57

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tomruns12
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Are they talking about the movie from the late 50's, the algae bloom or the pacific blob?

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#59

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cybermerlin2000
Community Member
3 years ago

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The context I get from this is he pointed something out, you reacted by sarcastically telling him to read book x about it, and he found out he was right and threw the comment back at you. Are you one of those short-tempered teachers?

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#63

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Jo
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I bet that he just learned that and felt the need to "educate" you about it as well

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#66

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Wendillon
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is one I want context on. Did they know your major? Why were you talking about fish? I'd kind of expect someone to tell me the difference if I were on a fishing trip or something.

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#71

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#72

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Anne
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ehm.., isn't that a standard joke though.. We say some soccer teams always win third half.. which is drinking after the game..

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#74

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CowboyHank
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just so you know, you can also spell it "spell check" or "spell-check." You can check that by using your operating systems spell check function. It's an icon that has "ABC" at the top and a check mark directly below it. When you press it, it will automatically scan all of the words in the document and highlight the ones that could be misspelled.

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#75

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Jayne Kyra
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3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Considering that many "basic" names now have odd spellings, I can see why someone would spell theirs out.

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#77

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Janned
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok, but people can have all kinds of reasons for not wanting to be touched by a person of a certain sex. Might have had nothing to do with your skill and experience in the matter.

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#78

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shane-harris42 avatar
YouDontLikeMe?
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is 30+ hours a lot? I'm not familiar with the field, but it doesn't seem like enough to be an expert.

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