“Am I A Jerk For Having A Dry Wedding And Serving Only Water For Drinks?”: The Internet Gives This Engaged Woman A Reality Check
Weddings can be incredibly expensive, so it’s understandable that we can’t all shell out thousands of dollars for gourmet food and an open bar. But after one woman proposed the idea of serving water as the sole beverage option at her wedding, her friends, family and the internet had plenty to say. Below, you’ll find the bride’s reasoning for wanting to host a water-only celebration, as well as an interview with international wedding planner Valentina Ring.
When a bride and groom decide to have a dry wedding, they usually only opt out of serving alcohol
Image credits: Jeremy Wong (not the actual photo)
So after this bride-to-be shared her plans to serve water as the only drink option, her friends and family members were shocked
Image credits: Pixabay (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Odd_Conversation5087
While most weddings today do serve alcohol, there’s nothing wrong with choosing to keep the celebration dry
While most people think weddings and alcohol go together like gin and tonic, it is not unheard of to have a dry wedding. In fact, according to The Knot, about 8% of couples who got hitched in 2022 refrained from serving adult beverages at their weddings. This is often done for cultural or religious reasons, but it may also be simply a tactic to cut costs. Brides and grooms who have over 100 guests attending their big day tend to spend $3,100 on alcohol alone, so deciding to have a dry wedding can make a huge impact on a couple’s budget. Plus, a dry wedding can be just as much fun as a wedding with alcohol, if done right.
To gain more insight on this topic, we reached out to international wedding planner and the woman behind The Stars Inside, Valentina Ring. Valentina was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda about how common it is becoming to have a dry wedding. “This year has been the first year for me in which some of my couples have chosen to have completely alcohol-free celebrations, and I’m definitely noticing an increasing trend for it in the wedding industry as a whole!” she shared. “I see it as similar to couples choosing to have a fully vegan wedding, or an eco-friendly one for example; more and more clients are wanting their values, cultures, and lifestyles reflected in their wedding, and personally, I think that’s a really positive attitude.”
Valentina also explained some of the popular alcohol-free options brides and grooms opt for. “Temperance bars, as they’re becoming known, serve exciting and creative non-alcoholic options, and they can be a really unique and fun experience for guests,” she told Bored Panda. “Whether or not there is alcohol served, having non-alcoholic beverage options is essential for any wedding, and this typically includes mocktails with delicious fruity cordials, a selection of soft drinks, or cocktails based on herbal tinctures and mixtures to give guests that bit of a buzz. There are always a handful of friends or family members in every guest list who prefer not to drink, whether for personal, medical, religious, or practical reasons, so having alternatives for them to choose from is really important – and considerate too.”
Image credits:kofookoo.de (not the actual photo)
“Wedding day drinks are one of those fundamental, integral parts of the day which are easy to do well”
Valentina went on to note that she has never personally encountered a couple who decided to serve only water at their wedding, but that every couple is free to make the best choice for themselves. “Having said that, as a wedding planner, my personal suggestion would have been to review the budget and see if there are any areas where we can create some more balance in order to be able to bring in some cost-effective pre-packaged non-alcoholic drinks, or even just cover the cost of a mobile cash bar where guests pay for their own drinks,” Valentina added.
“It feels like potentially the size of the guest list, the food costs, or the other wedding costs could be reviewed in order to be able to give the drinks side a little bit more TLC, as I do think that telling guests that only water is being served would be remembered for the wrong reasons,” she continued. “Wedding day drinks are one of those fundamental, integral parts of the day which are easy to do well – and that will very much stand out if not! Dry weddings are becoming increasingly popular, as are dry dinners and social gatherings, and so guests’ expectations of being hosted at a celebration like this would definitely include having a choice of a few non-alcoholic drinks – even if that might be just simple, basic ones.”
Valentina also provided some tips on how to serve great drinks without breaking the bank. “When it comes to non-alcoholic options, it’s possible to go very bespoke – like having signature mocktails based around delicious seasonal ingredients, themed around the couple’s story and favourite flavours – but it’s also possible to keep things simple,” she shared. “Bulk orders of basic soft drinks can be very cost-effective, and you can significantly elevate something like a lemonade by adding a little bit of a botanical or fruity cordial or syrup, and a floral garnish, for example. There are also options like flavoured water, with some lovely cucumber or fresh strawberries on a warm Summer’s day, root beer and non-alcoholic ciders, or tonic waters. Lots of companies around the world are creating delicious vegan and non-alcoholic wines and champagnes, so it’s definitely worth exploring any local options that might exist in your area too.”
Image credits: Andrii Olishevskyi (not the actual photo)
The bride and groom are hosts after all, and their guests expect to be taken care of
And when it comes to whether or not hosts should cater to their guests or if the bride and groom should be calling all of the shots for their own wedding, Valentina says, “The sweet spot lies somewhere in the middle – so that the couple’s values and priorities are being honored, but guests’ needs are also considered. Hosting a wedding is a joy, but also a responsibility – and part of that is taking the time to curate how each loved one’s experience will feel.”
“Being informed (ahead of time, if possible) that the wedding will be dry/alcohol-free is not something any guest would begrudge the couple – but being told that the only drink on site is water is very likely to not sit well,” the expert added. “Whether it’s for financial, personal, or practical reasons – your choice of having a sober wedding is totally valid. There is no right or wrong reason to have a dry wedding, it just needs to be the right choice for you as a couple. While staying true to that, if you are able to provide some thoughtful and exciting alcohol-free drinks – and think about infusing even more meaning and personality into the food, entertainment, and decor – then I can guarantee that your guests’ memories will be filled with nothing but the good stuff.”
We would love to hear your thoughts on this story in the comments below, pandas. Would you be upset if you attended a wedding where only water was served? Then, if you’re interested in checking out another Bored Panda article featuring a bride who found herself under fire for her demands, look no further than right here. And if you’d like to learn more wedding planning tips from Valentina or reach out to her about planning your own international wedding, be sure to visit her website The Stars Inside right here.
Readers were quick to inform the bride that her plans go beyond simply having a dry wedding, noting that her guests deserve better
Why have a wedding party if you don't really care about the guests having a good time, or if you cannot afford it? Do you really not see how petty and cheap it makes you and the whole event look? All you managed to do is turn the celebration of your wedding into something people will laugh about for years, instead of remembering it fondly. You know, sometimes just because you can doesn't mean you should. I say YTA.
If I were forced to participate in this wedding I would bring the wine for me.
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i'm muslim so in our weddings we never have alcohol, but not having fizzy drinks, tea, coffee or juice at a wedding is literally a crime
Dry weddings are a thing and that's fine. Just water though? Doesn't sound like a celebration. Tea is refreshing and has a nice taste for after the meal (you can get fruit based ones if you don't want caffeine). It's their wedding and their choice, but they don't get too complain if people buy their own fruit based drinks, or choose not to attend. Because that's their guests choice too.
Not serving expensive alcohol because of the expense, fine. I've been to weddings that just carried non-alcoholic drinks, beer and wine as the options. Not serving alcohol at all because it's against your principles, in my book okay, but get ready for people to complain about it. Not serving anything other than water? Damn. You want this to be a party, yeah? If you can't even afford to serve your guests soda, you can't afford the party.
Dry wedding? drinking nothing but water?? In France this would be an unthinkable idea, and for a good reason. We are talking about a country where Champagne for wedding is the norm, and running out of it would bring shame to the newly-weds. Water.... ahahahah! the saddest, most boring wedding ever.
Wedding? I spent a week in rural France and even a dry breakfast was out of the question.
Load More Replies... So grandma is paying for all the food and drinks are on them, water that is. Yeah a little hard not to think 150 people are invited for their gifts by a couple of scrooges. There should be sodas and coffee plus tea plus the right to BYO if the venue allows it.
The speech "Ladies and gentlemen, please raise your glass of water to ....
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They are hosting a celebration. Don't they want their guests to enjoy a party? There should be joy in every possible way bc it's a wonderful life change for everyone. Shouldn't it have flare and be memorable for something other than the worst wedding ever? Bc that's what's going to be remembered.
Definitely this would be remembered as the "Water Wedding!" Also, the OP doesn't realize how many people don't like to drink water. Who wants to be at a reception where they're thirsty, and the oniy liquid option is something they hate?
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I don't get why they're TA. It's maybe an iffy choice, but it's their wedding regardless, and they have the right to choose that. This whole thing is kinda like "you have to have everything we as guests want" but if you're that mad about it, don't come idk
Does it work though if you switch out "wedding" with something like "holiday party". I dont hear many people saying "it's my holiday party. I can do what I want. I dont care if the guests like it or not".
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NTA. Their party, their choices. If you don’t like it, don’t come.
I would not complain nor attend. But I would send a bottle of water as a wedding gift (drinking NOT spring)
Oh Lordy. Not water?! How will they ever live? The humanity!!! In all seriousness, sure the wedding couple is hosting a wedding, but they are not leaving their guests starved and parched. If someone really can't go to one event without getting their carbonated liquid candy and their alcohol then that's their problem. They can bring it themselves. I'm sure the couple doesn't have some bouncer checking everyone for beverage smuggling. I went to one dry wedding and during the clean up the sister of the bride was disgusted she still found beer cans among the mess wondering who's it was. Oh well.
Finally! I was scrolling for so long haha. They're providing food and such. I don't think it's a big deal to only offer water. They're NTA.
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You guys can't go without drinking soda or alcohol for a few hours??? I was reading this and thought it was some validation post because they were so obviously nta. How sad are your parties where they are ruined by only having to drink water? Although maybe I am biased because I don't really ever order any drinks are restaurants and never keep anything in the house except milk and water (but I do have my own espresso bar I admit :p).To each their own I guess, but this still sounds like a splendid wedding and why bother paying extra for drinks you don't want.
I know! I was really surprised by the reactions. They're providing a wide selection of food which is nice. They didn't want the extra expense. People calling them selfish is a bit extreme. Like "What is this?! No Dr. Pepper with my filet mignon! You're monsters!" 🙄Just relax and wash down the free food with clean water.
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If you're thirsty, just drink water! You don't need any fancy drinks to survive lol
But it is a celebration not a survival situation :D
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Dry is one thing, water only is bizarre. You're being cheap. Self-serve pitchers of some sort of mocktail or oldfashioned lemonade alongside the water would add what, another $200? It could be the difference between "Fun" and "This Wedding Sucks" for your guests. It's supposed to be a celebration, so let your guests have a mocktail and celebrate.
It wouldn't even cost them more than $50, tops, to serve lemonade. It would probably cost less to serve tea and coffee.
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I had an alcohol-free wedding. 26 years ago many people on my side of the family had problems with alcohol that they would not acknowledge and gatherings could get pretty exciting in a bad way after the booze started flowing. I have never consumed alcohol and my wife's family at the time was dry so it was our choice to not serve. We did serve tea, coffee, sparkling apple cider, and soft drinks. My mom caught a lot of flak from her side of the family with people asking if there was a financial reason we didn't serve alcohol. It was a bit of poetic justice because my mom was one of the worst offenders, when she got drunk she was incredibly verbally abusive. Not serving alcohol can be a choice that people will live with. Not serving other drinks just makes you look cheap and weird.
If I went to a wedding and there was only water I would probably find it a little odd. That being said I wouldn’t be actively upset about it or planning not to go just because I was going to spend a few hours without soda. I didn’t realise beverages were so important to some people 🤔
It seems people feel very strongly about this. I don't get it. 😕
Load More Replies... I genuinely don't understand all the negative comments. Yeah, it would probably be better if they at least offered soda and/or lemonade. But it's THEIR goshdarn wedding, and water IS fine. I've been to plenty of formal events where the only option for drinks was water. I think the people in the family making this person feel like an AH for serving a perfectly adequate meal are the real AHs. I say NTA, but maybe consider adding a couple of other non-alcoholic drink options to the menu.
Wedding party wouldn’t be a party without the guests. Not offering them any choice of drink (I mean none at all) is bad hosting and in my opinion - rude… if they can’t even afford tea or coffee for their guests they may need to rethink the size of the party.
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I like the suggestion of a sparkling apple cider fountain. It's a special occasion, they should at least have the minimum of coffee service and iced tea or lemonade. I drink a lot of water each day, but I do like something flavoured with a meal or at an occasion. Besides, it is supposed to be a celebration. Even just a variety of sparkling and flavoured waters would be nice...like strawberry lemon or melon mint infused or something like that.
Wedding may be for the bride and groom but reception is as much for them as it is for the guests. And guests should be offered more to drink than just plain water. Very stingy and selfish of them imo. I get no alcohol rule but not even offering coffee or tea is just plain rude.
I really don't see the problem here. Is it really that awful to NOT have something to choose for once? Come on. In this day and age, there are thousands of varieties of pretty much anything available, maybe that tends to cloud people's judgement because they are so used to that, but there is no harm in taking things the way they come for a change. On our wedding celebration (which was a super small home "event" with maybe 10, 15 people) people complained that we weren't going to serve any lunch (the wedding was at 09:00 AM, we were back home at around 11), but we already stated that it was going to be a small coffee "reception" with cake and chocolates and such because I just can't take a whole day of people and parties. Everyone was free to go after that and enjoy lunch.
It really is that awful and so is having a 9 am wedding. Yikes.
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NTA It is your wedding, your special day to SHARE with friends and family. It's not their f*****g party it's yours, and if water is all you wish to serve that's all you need serve. All these other people are the a******s and need to go drink a f*****g glass of water and reality. Sugar really has made america sick if it's a bad time just because it's not present in your f*****g drink. God my country is full of entitled pansies.
Damn people are serious about this with all the downvotes. Too many struggle finding clean water to drink and they're bugging out because they can't have Pepsi with steak? It's ridiculous 🙄
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As a recovered soda/pop junky, I have to say people don't drink water. Some people wont touch it at all. I drink a ton of water now and if I could find a way that gave me caffeine in water I would still only drink water. I got a stomach bug that forced me to only drink water. After that I found pop to be gross. So I only did water for the last 2 years.
People really do crave the caffeine and sugar. I believe that's the biggest problem in all this. This couple is now able to tell who are sugary, caffeinated drink addicts and alcoholics of the family LOL. jkjk
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Who's the caterer? My wedding, granted it was small, INCLUDED soda, tea, coffee & bottled water. It too was dry. YTA.
Make it a BYOB. This is your day. Do you go to someone's house for dinner and complain about not having your drink of choice. I think people who are saying YTA are selfish and aren't really there to celebrate one of the biggest event of your life. If they don't want to drink water they can bring their choice of beverages. Offer places with ice for each table.
I've never heard of a wedding venue that allowed byob (US).
Load More Replies... Turn the picture around and imagine a boozy party with the hosts not caring much about food: "We have a choice of eight wines, eight digestves, an open cocktail bar and ten different tap beers. Food? We're not much about gournet-ing. We ordered cheese sandwhiches, all you can eat"
Water, Iced tea and lemonade, and possibly coffee with the wedding cake, would be a nice idea, in my opinion. But the thought of wedding guests "complaining" about only water seems a little absurd and petty. Of course, our family drinks water almost exclusively (we just like the taste of it), so we wouldn't think a thing about it.
NTA, do what you want the people that want to come will show up and the other that can't get pass that oh well, I didn't see any rules saying they can't bring their own booze so I don't see the big deal.
She needs to tell people ahead of time that there will only be water. Some people may not go.
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As someone who usually only drinks water, but also has a sensitive stomach, a ginger ale or camomile tea option could make a big difference in how enjoyable the event would be. If you can’t afford some soda and tea, you should probably rehash your priorities when it comes to the wedding.
Yeah, this is a wedding I wouldn't attend. Why even have people there if you don't care about them ? At least provide coffee, sparkling water and maybe a virgin cocktail or two.
The water only thing is definitely a bit far but if they don't want to provide alcohol, I don't think they should have to. I don't drink, I just never liked it, and I am not a teetotaler, but I am going to be judgy and say all you people who can't seem to have any event without involving alcohol are just sad and pathetic to me.
The Gospel tells us that if Jesus shows up to this wedding He will know what to do.
How to turn what should be celebratory and happy occasion into one where your guests spend more time grumbling about the lack of drink options in one step!
On the one hand i'd say it's their wedding so they can decide what to offer and what not. On the other hand, I don't get why they can just offer everything and drink water themselves..? Like nobody would be forcing them into alcohol if they dont drink it. Why does everyone else have to follow their taste..?
We had a dry wedding. Not a religious thing, my wife drinks (I don't). It was partly a money thing, partly a we didn't need our wedding to have alcohol for everyone to have fun. Still had some people BYOB, which was fine. I think the issue here is they are only offering water period. It's really not that expensive to get some sodas or bulk tea or lemonade or something. But at the same time I get it. We saved money wherever we could and made some sacrifices to do so. I think this is one of the rare instances where I no one is the a*****e for me. I get the guests not liking this policy, but understand where the couple is coming from as well.
If you don't care about alcohol then that's fine. But no coffee or soft drinks? Really? Sounds kinda weird. Still, it's your wedding so you do you I guess.
Absolutely no problem with a dry wedding. Alcohol is not the key to a good wedding or a good celebration. In fact, it often ruins it and adds huge expenses.
We weren't allowed to have alcohol at the church we married in (even I found that to be annoying) but they at least supplied us with punch to drink.
If I came to this wedding, I'd go with a few of the other guests to the local liquor store and fast food joint and have our own fun party out in the parking lot.
I have nothing against a dry wedding, but just water? There are so many non-alcoholic options - coffee, tea, juice, lemonade, maybe cocoa for kids? Personally, I don't care about soda or an sugary drinks, but I do like to drink something warm after a meal, like coffee or tea. A glass of water after a nutritious meal is just unsatisfying.
I think it's a great idea but maybe offer some type of juice or iced tea. Having alcohol, in my experience, has only caused fights among the men because they got so drunk. So I'm all for a non alcohol wedding. And no you're not the ah!
I agree with all the YTA votes. I am happy to attend an alcohol free wedding ceremony, but I am not a fan of plain water. Can I "suck it up" for a ceremony? Yes. Do I want to have that as the only choice? NOPE. Give me soda, or tea, or lemonade, or ANYTHING else but plain water. I WILL sneak in my own drinks if I have to.
I don't usually drink. But let me tell you.... if I'm spending hundreds of dollars on gifts, travel, my clothes etc.... the least you can fucken give me is a god damn soda... but to me it's better to just have a bar because nobody actually gives a f**k about your wedding. Lol. Besides you & maybe your family... your guests aren't there because they truly care about what you're doing. They're there for the party & to socialize. So why not just give ppl the option of whether they wanna drink alcohol or soda? I'm sorry but if I have to sit through a long a*s ceremony & then all of your wedding festivities while you make hundreds of not thousands of dollars off of us guest...I atleast wanna drink a damn whisky ginger while I have to sit thru it.
In my former days as a minister, couples would sometimes tell how much the parents were shelling out for a wedding reception. I made no comment concerning the reception. My only concern was that the couple had the marriage service the way they wanted it. As a parent, I would be inclined to give my kids a choice. Pay toward a wedding reception or a down payment toward a house. Incidentally, I've been to modest wedding receptions which were a blast and expensive ones which..weren't.
I hate water, but it wouldn't be my wedding. The wedding is for the bride and groom. It should be how they want it. It's not something major for guest or family to have a tantrum about. People can drink water for one day. My twinsie is getting married. I told her, she needs to have the wedding like her and her fiancé want it. It's about them
Ok... I see lot of abstinent people here agree, but it is your choice not to enjoy alcohol. My opinion is, you should let your guests enjoy their time the way they want. If one doesn't drink, it is ok. But if one wants to have a glass of wine or spirit they should be able to get one. I don't know if it is banned to have a drink or not by the way. And who the heck cares what the couple drinks in every day basis? Then drink your water and let me have my glass of wine at least when I am on a party.
There are plenty of other beverages that are not alcoholic you could serve. But it appears you are too cheap to consider that.
YTA. I fully support no alcohol at weddings, but having water as only drinking option screams 'cheapskate'. There's many non-alcoholic and unexpensive drinks.
I don't believe anyone could be this stupid. I think this is all made up just to get published. But IF this is for real, then it's downright insulting at best. You want to be dry for liquor ? Fine. But all you need to do is invite one less person to pay for soft drinks, coffee, and tea. Or are you hinting that you want other people to chip in to pay for those extras ? I wouldn't go to this sham wedding if it was my own daughter.
So you invite 100+ people to your wedding, with some of these people, no doubt, they don't live close by, so maybe they have to shell out for hotels? Then there is cost of travel by car, bus etc. Then you expect a gift and card off them. Oh and yes, some would have to also pay for babysitters in some circumstances....... aaaand you just give them water to drink??? Bad enough they can't relax and have fun with some alcohol but just water? It's insulting to the effort they are making for you. If you can't afford it, invite less people and offer better drinks. Sheesh, some people are just selfishly odd.
They should buy a case of Evian and elope. Nobody wants to pretend to like these cheapskate fools.
I wouldn't mind the non-alcohol since I can have fun without it but only water? That's boring
I hope the couple is ready to answer the question "where are the drinks?" 150 times. A dry wedding is ok but just water? I have no problem paying for my own drinks, whether they have alcohol in them or not. Not even having that option is bizarre to me, though. Of course it's their wedding and they can do whatever they want (including being bad hosts) but guests won't be happy and they will remember forever. My family still talks about my sister's wedding 22 years ago - she made some unfortunate decisions that deeply and negatively affected her guests.
I think the only having the water issue will distract people from the bride and groom. I'd be laughing my head off looking at everyone with their designated glass of water 🤣
I don't drink alcohol as well, but just water? I'd prefer to have a smaller choice of food and a nice range mocktails, they're fun and delicious, and will make it a special occasion! Have less people if budget is a problem, I doubt they have 150 close friends!
They are perhaps not the A-holes, but this is a stupid and selfish idea. They mostly do not want alcohol because they don't drink, and don't care about their guests in the slightest. It's their wedding party and they have the right to do it any way they want, but the guests have every right to be disappointed or even decide not to come. Actually, come to think of it, they are the A-holes!
Yeah people wont know about the water situation until after the wedding. I would want to know ahead of time.
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That's just weird. Like I love water and don't drink most drinks but come on it's a wedding have a selection of nice drinks as well as water... Idk if I'd call u an asshóle, just a bit clueless
I love water (especially sparkling) and I drink a lot, even during meals. But a alcohol-free wedding is unthinkable.
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It‘s their wedding and their choice. But i also believe weddings are there so the couple and the guests can celebrate together and enjoy the food and drinks. If they only serve water because they need to save money it‘s there choice. However they could spend some extra money on an open bar, so their guests can buy their own drinks. Most locations won‘t allow the guests to bring their own drinks, so that‘s what i would offer my guests. Personally i would want my guests to have a good time and i know that most people would like soda or a lemonade at least. To me this would not be the spot to save money.
If you're going to have a dry wedding at least offer flavorful options besides water. Personally I love water and rarely drink sodas. But if I'm going out for the evening and booze is not an option or I'm the designated driver I know I and other people would appreciate an iced tea, 7-Up or coffee. I wish I had done things differently for my wedding reception looking back but I did try to have options for everyone. Done today I would have made my own special recipe lemonade, hot chocolate and local wine.
Q for pandas- how can a cider fountain be considered dry? Cider is an alcoholic apple drink. Well it is in the UK or NZ.
In Americaland, cider is unfiltered unpasteurised apple juice, the booze kind is hard cider.
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To Moni, if you need booze to have fun, you have a problem . Th he only laughter regarding alcohol would be people watching you in your inevitable drunken state. You are the one that is petty. Weddings are for the couple, not you. Your post us a disgrace.
YTA I get a dry wedding, but no pop? I don't drink water unless I'm taking a pill. I'd be busy on your wedding day. Not because of the drinks but because you're cheap and don't care about your guests.
150 is a HUGE wedding. Food for 150 people costs a lot of money. Drinks? Not so much. Soda should probably be less than $1/liter. And if you go to a good retailer, more like $1/2-liter. Drinks? $10/l for rum. So like $3/person?
Do what you want, no big deal. But I'm not coming to a dry wedding. Alcohol is the only thing that makes them tolerable.
lol maybe they wanted to discourage attendance from people who felt that way
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YTA changing your mind and adding fizzy drinks would cost probley more than hiring a bar tender for the day and letting everyone buy there own drinks weather it be alcohol, juice, tea, fizzy drinks... just because you dont drink alcohol/tea ect dosnt mean everyone else cant...
Why have a wedding party if you don't really care about the guests having a good time, or if you cannot afford it? Do you really not see how petty and cheap it makes you and the whole event look? All you managed to do is turn the celebration of your wedding into something people will laugh about for years, instead of remembering it fondly. You know, sometimes just because you can doesn't mean you should. I say YTA.
If I were forced to participate in this wedding I would bring the wine for me.
Load More Replies... i'm muslim so in our weddings we never have alcohol, but not having fizzy drinks, tea, coffee or juice at a wedding is literally a crime
Dry weddings are a thing and that's fine. Just water though? Doesn't sound like a celebration. Tea is refreshing and has a nice taste for after the meal (you can get fruit based ones if you don't want caffeine). It's their wedding and their choice, but they don't get too complain if people buy their own fruit based drinks, or choose not to attend. Because that's their guests choice too.
Not serving expensive alcohol because of the expense, fine. I've been to weddings that just carried non-alcoholic drinks, beer and wine as the options. Not serving alcohol at all because it's against your principles, in my book okay, but get ready for people to complain about it. Not serving anything other than water? Damn. You want this to be a party, yeah? If you can't even afford to serve your guests soda, you can't afford the party.
Dry wedding? drinking nothing but water?? In France this would be an unthinkable idea, and for a good reason. We are talking about a country where Champagne for wedding is the norm, and running out of it would bring shame to the newly-weds. Water.... ahahahah! the saddest, most boring wedding ever.
Wedding? I spent a week in rural France and even a dry breakfast was out of the question.
Load More Replies... So grandma is paying for all the food and drinks are on them, water that is. Yeah a little hard not to think 150 people are invited for their gifts by a couple of scrooges. There should be sodas and coffee plus tea plus the right to BYO if the venue allows it.
The speech "Ladies and gentlemen, please raise your glass of water to ....
Load More Replies... They are hosting a celebration. Don't they want their guests to enjoy a party? There should be joy in every possible way bc it's a wonderful life change for everyone. Shouldn't it have flare and be memorable for something other than the worst wedding ever? Bc that's what's going to be remembered.
Definitely this would be remembered as the "Water Wedding!" Also, the OP doesn't realize how many people don't like to drink water. Who wants to be at a reception where they're thirsty, and the oniy liquid option is something they hate?
Load More Replies... I don't get why they're TA. It's maybe an iffy choice, but it's their wedding regardless, and they have the right to choose that. This whole thing is kinda like "you have to have everything we as guests want" but if you're that mad about it, don't come idk
Does it work though if you switch out "wedding" with something like "holiday party". I dont hear many people saying "it's my holiday party. I can do what I want. I dont care if the guests like it or not".
Load More Replies... NTA. Their party, their choices. If you don’t like it, don’t come.
I would not complain nor attend. But I would send a bottle of water as a wedding gift (drinking NOT spring)
Oh Lordy. Not water?! How will they ever live? The humanity!!! In all seriousness, sure the wedding couple is hosting a wedding, but they are not leaving their guests starved and parched. If someone really can't go to one event without getting their carbonated liquid candy and their alcohol then that's their problem. They can bring it themselves. I'm sure the couple doesn't have some bouncer checking everyone for beverage smuggling. I went to one dry wedding and during the clean up the sister of the bride was disgusted she still found beer cans among the mess wondering who's it was. Oh well.
Finally! I was scrolling for so long haha. They're providing food and such. I don't think it's a big deal to only offer water. They're NTA.
Load More Replies... You guys can't go without drinking soda or alcohol for a few hours??? I was reading this and thought it was some validation post because they were so obviously nta. How sad are your parties where they are ruined by only having to drink water? Although maybe I am biased because I don't really ever order any drinks are restaurants and never keep anything in the house except milk and water (but I do have my own espresso bar I admit :p).To each their own I guess, but this still sounds like a splendid wedding and why bother paying extra for drinks you don't want.
I know! I was really surprised by the reactions. They're providing a wide selection of food which is nice. They didn't want the extra expense. People calling them selfish is a bit extreme. Like "What is this?! No Dr. Pepper with my filet mignon! You're monsters!" 🙄Just relax and wash down the free food with clean water.
Load More Replies... If you're thirsty, just drink water! You don't need any fancy drinks to survive lol
But it is a celebration not a survival situation :D
Load More Replies... Dry is one thing, water only is bizarre. You're being cheap. Self-serve pitchers of some sort of mocktail or oldfashioned lemonade alongside the water would add what, another $200? It could be the difference between "Fun" and "This Wedding Sucks" for your guests. It's supposed to be a celebration, so let your guests have a mocktail and celebrate.
It wouldn't even cost them more than $50, tops, to serve lemonade. It would probably cost less to serve tea and coffee.
Load More Replies... I had an alcohol-free wedding. 26 years ago many people on my side of the family had problems with alcohol that they would not acknowledge and gatherings could get pretty exciting in a bad way after the booze started flowing. I have never consumed alcohol and my wife's family at the time was dry so it was our choice to not serve. We did serve tea, coffee, sparkling apple cider, and soft drinks. My mom caught a lot of flak from her side of the family with people asking if there was a financial reason we didn't serve alcohol. It was a bit of poetic justice because my mom was one of the worst offenders, when she got drunk she was incredibly verbally abusive. Not serving alcohol can be a choice that people will live with. Not serving other drinks just makes you look cheap and weird.
If I went to a wedding and there was only water I would probably find it a little odd. That being said I wouldn’t be actively upset about it or planning not to go just because I was going to spend a few hours without soda. I didn’t realise beverages were so important to some people 🤔
It seems people feel very strongly about this. I don't get it. 😕
Load More Replies... I genuinely don't understand all the negative comments. Yeah, it would probably be better if they at least offered soda and/or lemonade. But it's THEIR goshdarn wedding, and water IS fine. I've been to plenty of formal events where the only option for drinks was water. I think the people in the family making this person feel like an AH for serving a perfectly adequate meal are the real AHs. I say NTA, but maybe consider adding a couple of other non-alcoholic drink options to the menu.
Wedding party wouldn’t be a party without the guests. Not offering them any choice of drink (I mean none at all) is bad hosting and in my opinion - rude… if they can’t even afford tea or coffee for their guests they may need to rethink the size of the party.
Load More Replies... I like the suggestion of a sparkling apple cider fountain. It's a special occasion, they should at least have the minimum of coffee service and iced tea or lemonade. I drink a lot of water each day, but I do like something flavoured with a meal or at an occasion. Besides, it is supposed to be a celebration. Even just a variety of sparkling and flavoured waters would be nice...like strawberry lemon or melon mint infused or something like that.
Wedding may be for the bride and groom but reception is as much for them as it is for the guests. And guests should be offered more to drink than just plain water. Very stingy and selfish of them imo. I get no alcohol rule but not even offering coffee or tea is just plain rude.
I really don't see the problem here. Is it really that awful to NOT have something to choose for once? Come on. In this day and age, there are thousands of varieties of pretty much anything available, maybe that tends to cloud people's judgement because they are so used to that, but there is no harm in taking things the way they come for a change. On our wedding celebration (which was a super small home "event" with maybe 10, 15 people) people complained that we weren't going to serve any lunch (the wedding was at 09:00 AM, we were back home at around 11), but we already stated that it was going to be a small coffee "reception" with cake and chocolates and such because I just can't take a whole day of people and parties. Everyone was free to go after that and enjoy lunch.
It really is that awful and so is having a 9 am wedding. Yikes.
Load More Replies... NTA It is your wedding, your special day to SHARE with friends and family. It's not their f*****g party it's yours, and if water is all you wish to serve that's all you need serve. All these other people are the a******s and need to go drink a f*****g glass of water and reality. Sugar really has made america sick if it's a bad time just because it's not present in your f*****g drink. God my country is full of entitled pansies.
Damn people are serious about this with all the downvotes. Too many struggle finding clean water to drink and they're bugging out because they can't have Pepsi with steak? It's ridiculous 🙄
Load More Replies... As a recovered soda/pop junky, I have to say people don't drink water. Some people wont touch it at all. I drink a ton of water now and if I could find a way that gave me caffeine in water I would still only drink water. I got a stomach bug that forced me to only drink water. After that I found pop to be gross. So I only did water for the last 2 years.
People really do crave the caffeine and sugar. I believe that's the biggest problem in all this. This couple is now able to tell who are sugary, caffeinated drink addicts and alcoholics of the family LOL. jkjk
Load More Replies... Who's the caterer? My wedding, granted it was small, INCLUDED soda, tea, coffee & bottled water. It too was dry. YTA.
Make it a BYOB. This is your day. Do you go to someone's house for dinner and complain about not having your drink of choice. I think people who are saying YTA are selfish and aren't really there to celebrate one of the biggest event of your life. If they don't want to drink water they can bring their choice of beverages. Offer places with ice for each table.
I've never heard of a wedding venue that allowed byob (US).
Load More Replies... Turn the picture around and imagine a boozy party with the hosts not caring much about food: "We have a choice of eight wines, eight digestves, an open cocktail bar and ten different tap beers. Food? We're not much about gournet-ing. We ordered cheese sandwhiches, all you can eat"
Water, Iced tea and lemonade, and possibly coffee with the wedding cake, would be a nice idea, in my opinion. But the thought of wedding guests "complaining" about only water seems a little absurd and petty. Of course, our family drinks water almost exclusively (we just like the taste of it), so we wouldn't think a thing about it.
NTA, do what you want the people that want to come will show up and the other that can't get pass that oh well, I didn't see any rules saying they can't bring their own booze so I don't see the big deal.
She needs to tell people ahead of time that there will only be water. Some people may not go.
Load More Replies... As someone who usually only drinks water, but also has a sensitive stomach, a ginger ale or camomile tea option could make a big difference in how enjoyable the event would be. If you can’t afford some soda and tea, you should probably rehash your priorities when it comes to the wedding.
Yeah, this is a wedding I wouldn't attend. Why even have people there if you don't care about them ? At least provide coffee, sparkling water and maybe a virgin cocktail or two.
The water only thing is definitely a bit far but if they don't want to provide alcohol, I don't think they should have to. I don't drink, I just never liked it, and I am not a teetotaler, but I am going to be judgy and say all you people who can't seem to have any event without involving alcohol are just sad and pathetic to me.
The Gospel tells us that if Jesus shows up to this wedding He will know what to do.
How to turn what should be celebratory and happy occasion into one where your guests spend more time grumbling about the lack of drink options in one step!
On the one hand i'd say it's their wedding so they can decide what to offer and what not. On the other hand, I don't get why they can just offer everything and drink water themselves..? Like nobody would be forcing them into alcohol if they dont drink it. Why does everyone else have to follow their taste..?
We had a dry wedding. Not a religious thing, my wife drinks (I don't). It was partly a money thing, partly a we didn't need our wedding to have alcohol for everyone to have fun. Still had some people BYOB, which was fine. I think the issue here is they are only offering water period. It's really not that expensive to get some sodas or bulk tea or lemonade or something. But at the same time I get it. We saved money wherever we could and made some sacrifices to do so. I think this is one of the rare instances where I no one is the a*****e for me. I get the guests not liking this policy, but understand where the couple is coming from as well.
If you don't care about alcohol then that's fine. But no coffee or soft drinks? Really? Sounds kinda weird. Still, it's your wedding so you do you I guess.
Absolutely no problem with a dry wedding. Alcohol is not the key to a good wedding or a good celebration. In fact, it often ruins it and adds huge expenses.
We weren't allowed to have alcohol at the church we married in (even I found that to be annoying) but they at least supplied us with punch to drink.
If I came to this wedding, I'd go with a few of the other guests to the local liquor store and fast food joint and have our own fun party out in the parking lot.
I have nothing against a dry wedding, but just water? There are so many non-alcoholic options - coffee, tea, juice, lemonade, maybe cocoa for kids? Personally, I don't care about soda or an sugary drinks, but I do like to drink something warm after a meal, like coffee or tea. A glass of water after a nutritious meal is just unsatisfying.
I think it's a great idea but maybe offer some type of juice or iced tea. Having alcohol, in my experience, has only caused fights among the men because they got so drunk. So I'm all for a non alcohol wedding. And no you're not the ah!
I agree with all the YTA votes. I am happy to attend an alcohol free wedding ceremony, but I am not a fan of plain water. Can I "suck it up" for a ceremony? Yes. Do I want to have that as the only choice? NOPE. Give me soda, or tea, or lemonade, or ANYTHING else but plain water. I WILL sneak in my own drinks if I have to.
I don't usually drink. But let me tell you.... if I'm spending hundreds of dollars on gifts, travel, my clothes etc.... the least you can fucken give me is a god damn soda... but to me it's better to just have a bar because nobody actually gives a f**k about your wedding. Lol. Besides you & maybe your family... your guests aren't there because they truly care about what you're doing. They're there for the party & to socialize. So why not just give ppl the option of whether they wanna drink alcohol or soda? I'm sorry but if I have to sit through a long a*s ceremony & then all of your wedding festivities while you make hundreds of not thousands of dollars off of us guest...I atleast wanna drink a damn whisky ginger while I have to sit thru it.
In my former days as a minister, couples would sometimes tell how much the parents were shelling out for a wedding reception. I made no comment concerning the reception. My only concern was that the couple had the marriage service the way they wanted it. As a parent, I would be inclined to give my kids a choice. Pay toward a wedding reception or a down payment toward a house. Incidentally, I've been to modest wedding receptions which were a blast and expensive ones which..weren't.
I hate water, but it wouldn't be my wedding. The wedding is for the bride and groom. It should be how they want it. It's not something major for guest or family to have a tantrum about. People can drink water for one day. My twinsie is getting married. I told her, she needs to have the wedding like her and her fiancé want it. It's about them
Ok... I see lot of abstinent people here agree, but it is your choice not to enjoy alcohol. My opinion is, you should let your guests enjoy their time the way they want. If one doesn't drink, it is ok. But if one wants to have a glass of wine or spirit they should be able to get one. I don't know if it is banned to have a drink or not by the way. And who the heck cares what the couple drinks in every day basis? Then drink your water and let me have my glass of wine at least when I am on a party.
There are plenty of other beverages that are not alcoholic you could serve. But it appears you are too cheap to consider that.
YTA. I fully support no alcohol at weddings, but having water as only drinking option screams 'cheapskate'. There's many non-alcoholic and unexpensive drinks.
I don't believe anyone could be this stupid. I think this is all made up just to get published. But IF this is for real, then it's downright insulting at best. You want to be dry for liquor ? Fine. But all you need to do is invite one less person to pay for soft drinks, coffee, and tea. Or are you hinting that you want other people to chip in to pay for those extras ? I wouldn't go to this sham wedding if it was my own daughter.
So you invite 100+ people to your wedding, with some of these people, no doubt, they don't live close by, so maybe they have to shell out for hotels? Then there is cost of travel by car, bus etc. Then you expect a gift and card off them. Oh and yes, some would have to also pay for babysitters in some circumstances....... aaaand you just give them water to drink??? Bad enough they can't relax and have fun with some alcohol but just water? It's insulting to the effort they are making for you. If you can't afford it, invite less people and offer better drinks. Sheesh, some people are just selfishly odd.
They should buy a case of Evian and elope. Nobody wants to pretend to like these cheapskate fools.
I wouldn't mind the non-alcohol since I can have fun without it but only water? That's boring
I hope the couple is ready to answer the question "where are the drinks?" 150 times. A dry wedding is ok but just water? I have no problem paying for my own drinks, whether they have alcohol in them or not. Not even having that option is bizarre to me, though. Of course it's their wedding and they can do whatever they want (including being bad hosts) but guests won't be happy and they will remember forever. My family still talks about my sister's wedding 22 years ago - she made some unfortunate decisions that deeply and negatively affected her guests.
I think the only having the water issue will distract people from the bride and groom. I'd be laughing my head off looking at everyone with their designated glass of water 🤣
I don't drink alcohol as well, but just water? I'd prefer to have a smaller choice of food and a nice range mocktails, they're fun and delicious, and will make it a special occasion! Have less people if budget is a problem, I doubt they have 150 close friends!
They are perhaps not the A-holes, but this is a stupid and selfish idea. They mostly do not want alcohol because they don't drink, and don't care about their guests in the slightest. It's their wedding party and they have the right to do it any way they want, but the guests have every right to be disappointed or even decide not to come. Actually, come to think of it, they are the A-holes!
Yeah people wont know about the water situation until after the wedding. I would want to know ahead of time.
Load More Replies... That's just weird. Like I love water and don't drink most drinks but come on it's a wedding have a selection of nice drinks as well as water... Idk if I'd call u an asshóle, just a bit clueless
I love water (especially sparkling) and I drink a lot, even during meals. But a alcohol-free wedding is unthinkable.
Load More Replies... It‘s their wedding and their choice. But i also believe weddings are there so the couple and the guests can celebrate together and enjoy the food and drinks. If they only serve water because they need to save money it‘s there choice. However they could spend some extra money on an open bar, so their guests can buy their own drinks. Most locations won‘t allow the guests to bring their own drinks, so that‘s what i would offer my guests. Personally i would want my guests to have a good time and i know that most people would like soda or a lemonade at least. To me this would not be the spot to save money.
If you're going to have a dry wedding at least offer flavorful options besides water. Personally I love water and rarely drink sodas. But if I'm going out for the evening and booze is not an option or I'm the designated driver I know I and other people would appreciate an iced tea, 7-Up or coffee. I wish I had done things differently for my wedding reception looking back but I did try to have options for everyone. Done today I would have made my own special recipe lemonade, hot chocolate and local wine.
Q for pandas- how can a cider fountain be considered dry? Cider is an alcoholic apple drink. Well it is in the UK or NZ.
In Americaland, cider is unfiltered unpasteurised apple juice, the booze kind is hard cider.
Load More Replies... To Moni, if you need booze to have fun, you have a problem . Th he only laughter regarding alcohol would be people watching you in your inevitable drunken state. You are the one that is petty. Weddings are for the couple, not you. Your post us a disgrace.
YTA I get a dry wedding, but no pop? I don't drink water unless I'm taking a pill. I'd be busy on your wedding day. Not because of the drinks but because you're cheap and don't care about your guests.
150 is a HUGE wedding. Food for 150 people costs a lot of money. Drinks? Not so much. Soda should probably be less than $1/liter. And if you go to a good retailer, more like $1/2-liter. Drinks? $10/l for rum. So like $3/person?
Do what you want, no big deal. But I'm not coming to a dry wedding. Alcohol is the only thing that makes them tolerable.
lol maybe they wanted to discourage attendance from people who felt that way
Load More Replies... YTA changing your mind and adding fizzy drinks would cost probley more than hiring a bar tender for the day and letting everyone buy there own drinks weather it be alcohol, juice, tea, fizzy drinks... just because you dont drink alcohol/tea ect dosnt mean everyone else cant...
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