People Are Pointing Out What Double Standards They’re Tired Of (30 Answers)
Interview With Author
Life isn’t fair. Let’s repeat that once more so that everyone hears it, shall we? Life—it really isn’t fair. We certainly don’t live in a world where there’s ‘perfect’ justice everywhere. But, generally speaking, things could definitely be fairer. That’s a sentiment that most of you Pandas probably could get behind. And you wouldn’t be the only ones. Seeing examples of unfairness happen in front of you can really make your blood boil.
Redditors from all around the globe opened up about the double standards they hate the most in a thread on r/AskReddit. Their stories shone a spotlight on the places where society—and humankind—still needs to improve.
Scroll down for the worst double standards out there, Pandas, and share your own thoughts on the topic in the comments below.
Redditor u/MajorInstruction2522, the author of the thread, was kind enough to share her thoughts about double standards and how they impact society. Check out what she told Bored Panda below.
Meanwhile, Bored Panda also got in touch with Psychologist and Wellbeing Specialist Lee Chambers, the founder of Essentialise Workplace Wellbeing, for a chat about dealing with unfairness and the anger that can arise from that. "We are often brought up in a world that suggests fairness is a gold standard, and we should strive for fairness. But the reality is that life isn't fair, and there is little we can do to make it fair, meaning fairness itself isn't a great concept. Awareness of how we react to this unfairness is an important starting point, as we can often let these emotions such as anger, sadness, and disappointment cloud our judgment and make us suffer," he explained to us.
According to the expert, we can try reframing the idea of unfairness happening to us. Instead of seeing ourselves as a victim of unfairness, we can be a survivor of it. This can empower us to accept and move beyond what we can control.
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The double standard I despise the most are the people who claim to be "pro-life." No the hell you aren't. You just care about abortions. Once that tiny clump of cells is out of the womb, you couldn't give less of a s**t about what happens to it. They believe every clump of cells is sacred until that clump of cells, turned human, is blasted to literal bits by a gun. There was a little girl at the Uvalde shooting who was identified by her bloodied shirt because her head had exploded due to the bullets of the firearm. However, for her, all she will receive are "thoughts and prayers." Thoughts and prayers do jack s**t for a kid who is dead. No legislation, just words and thoughts sent into the ether.
"Reflective exercises can help people see all the positive things that have happened, giving more agency to move beyond the unfair aspects that can't be changed. In addition, it is important to harness and express the emotions generated by unfairness in a healthy way, rather than suppress them, as that is more damaging than the unfairness itself," Psychologist Lee, from Essentialise Workplace Wellbeing, told Bored Panda.
"Unfairness can make us angry, frustrated and, at times, powerless. Relaxation exercises are great for creating space for us to challenge our initial reaction to unfairness, and allow us to reflect on choosing a more empowered response. Breathing exercises are great for this, slowing us down and bringing us to a stable place. Practicing mindfulness and gratitude can also be powerful ways to express and focus on what can be controlled and the difference that can be made," the expert suggested some methods to help control our feelings when faced with unfairness.
Wealthy get away with crimes that would put a poor in prison
when the only diaper changing station is in the women's restroom. The floor of the men's room is not the best area to change babies for us dads, who also need to do so.
"It also creates an opportunity to let things go that can be controlled, freeing up that energy to be used constructively. This stops the rumination that so often leaves us trapped, feeling like the world is unfair, and opens us up to see the good things that happen."
The psychologist continued: "Finally, we need to monitor our thoughts and feelings, analyze our self-talk and spot the patterns that are not serving us well. Just doing this allows us space to consider how we can turn our emotions into positive action, potentially making the world a fairer place for others through the things we can control, and find productive ways to express all the emotions that come from our own expectations."
When a woman’s nipples are so much as visible through a shirt, it’s inappropriate, but when a man with tits 3 sizes larger than mine walks around shirtless, nobody gives a f**k. As minor of an issue as this is, it’s infuriating.
Affluent people use government subsidies and tax loopholes all the time but complain that poor people take things for free.
Billionaires not paying taxes. Billionaires getting bailed out, while the rest of us accept that minimum wage hasn’t been adjusted for the rate of inflation. Also, billionaires with full time employees on food stamps to subsidize their lower than live wages pay. Then the employee is said to be leaching off the system.
If you can make billions and your employees are on food stamps, then you’re the one leaching.
Meanwhile, the author of the r/AskReddit thread told Bored Panda a bit about the inspiration behind the thread. "I came up with the thread a week ago when I was talking with my sister, it just popped in my head and I thought it was a pretty good question. People's responses were one of two things: good nuanced and detailed problems, or just straight up sexism and discrimination of either white people, Arabs, or black people," the OP shared her thoughts about how Reddit reacted to the question.
In the redditor's opinion, the double standards that do the most harm to society are "probably the ones involving gender, like how a male leader is confident and inspiring, while a female leader is bossy and arrogant."
"This affects society as much as it affects me since I work in a managerial position in a pharmaceutical research firm, and some interns once complained to my boss that I'm too bossy and strict and they don't want to work under me, and they ended up with an even worse person but they were fine with it since it was a man," she gave an example from her personal life.
Being a male teacher, it truly aggravates me that I can't comfort any students in a kind way because it's inappropriate to give them hugs. A female teacher, on the other hand, can figuratively have a kid sit on her lap during read-alouds. If I do this, I'm headed straight for the dog pound.
I have a friend who teaches and addressed this just the other day. He was told not to engage with students too much by asking about how they day was and the like, because it's 'not appropriate'.
When religious cult leaders are telling to people live modestly but using Cadillacs, Mercedes, expensive as f**k aircrafts and have a villas and huge wallets.
Don't forget the bit about putting the lives of their parishioners at risk during covid because they were more bothered about the decline in donations since folks weren't attending church ... And, applying for state relief funds they didn't need while their parishioners were going hungry, losing jobs and homes as well as loved ones... https://www.npr.org/sections/coronavirus-live-updates/2020/08/03/898753550/religious-groups-received-6-10-billion-in-covid-19-relief-funds-hope-for-more?t=1661333888752
It's obnoxious as a single dad of three kids where schools want to "talk to the mom"
The author said that, in her opinion, she "hate[s] every single one" instance of double standards, "no matter how insignificant." They also opened up about what double standard irks them the most. "The one I hate the most is people supporting Ukraine while never looking at the Israel/Palestine conflict or even supporting Israel!" she shared her personal opinion.
According to the OP, what she sees far too frequently these days is that a lot of people point out the flaws without actually trying to solve them. She believes that it's best to either ignore "these problems and the people stupid enough to believe in them, or try and educate them about it peacefully."
As for dealing with anger when seeing all the injustice in the world, the author of the thread suggests talking it out with others. "People need to talk. We're social beings and we can't live without talking and being social lays off a lot of steam. If you have a lot of anger issues and you want to get rid of that, talk to your friends, parents, therapist, or even yourself, it helps a lot and sometimes you can just forget all the [bad] things happening around the world and live in your own bubble."
We’ve probably all seen at least a handful of double standards in our daily lives. It’s inescapable, really. You might have gotten a big dose of it at work (why do all of your managers get to work from home or while abroad when you’re forced into the office every day?) or when picking up your kid from the nursery (why do they treat me differently just because I’m a dad/mom?).
These situations can honestly make you feel very frustrated. However, constantly living in a state of anger clearly isn’t good for you.
Whenever people act like guys who get laid with multiple partners are called players while women who do this are sluts.
I really hate this double standard.
As a man me to, however here in my country we have a different name for dudes like that " putanheiro " ( whoremonger ) and they do not get much respect here.
It's always assumed that Mom is the parent and Dad is just there for backup/support.
Female that doesn't want kids: what a horrible person! You'll change your mind soon. Just have one and then you'll change your mind. (Seriously, it's like she said she wants to slaughter babies or something.)
Dude that doesn't want kids: Oh that's normal. Let's get beers.
𝗪𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗻 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝘂𝗯𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗶𝗲𝗱: "What if your husband/boyfriend wants kids? What if you change your mind? You're too young to make that decision, no matter your age." 𝗠𝗮𝗻 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝘀𝗻𝗶𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗱: "Your appointment is tomorrow at 3pm. It will take approximately 20-30 minutes."
Licensed Counselor Suzanne Degges-White, from Northern Illinois University, previously explained to Bored Panda that people tend to enjoy reading about the darker aspects of humanity because it minimizes our own negative traits.
“Whether it's greed, anger, promiscuity, and so on, when we hear just how bad someone else has been, it can make us feel better about our own tendencies towards the dark side traits. It also lets us imagine vicariously what it would be like to be ‘that bad,’” she told us why there’s a certain fascination with hearing about just how horrible, unfair, unjust some individuals might be.
However, the professor warned that being constantly angry at just how unjust the world around us is can have very negative effects on our bodies.
“Constant anger can lead to metabolic diseases, cardiovascular problems, and digestive issues. For some people, health concerns are the reason that they may learn to let go of anger,” Degges-White said.
Dudes are assertive. Chicks are bossy.
Also why tf aren't dudes allowed to have parental instincts or look out for kids.
How little mental issues are talked about. Men are told to man up if they cry and if women cry they’re sensitive or on their period. Also PPD. not talked about enough
“While being angry can lead to social change and begin to topple barriers and other aspects of injustice, we also know that anger isn't going to be the best choice to build alliances or convince others of the need for change,” she told Bored Panda.
“Finding common ground is essential in making true, collaborative change. This requires us to let go of anger, whether that is finding a way to sublimate it or overcome it, or just put it aside for the time being.” In other words, there’s a place and a time for being angry. However, it won’t solve all of your problems… and it might even create some unexpected new ones, too.
Step Parenting. I hate that bio parents are more respectable although they are only taking responsibility for a child they made. Meanwhile I don’t get near as much credit for taking care of a child that chose to accept as my own.
Anyone can get pregnant from a broken condom it’s another thing to raise that broken condom
When a woman takes care of her child she’s parenting. When a man does it he’s "babysitting".
Body hair on men is fine, but body hair on women is "Gross" or "unhygienic" so stupid
I f*****g hate this. Shaving is irritating, waxing hurts, laser is expensive, and it just wastes so much time, products, money and energy.
one time in like 8th grade, this rather pretty girl (that i hated) from my class came running in from the halls, red as a tomato, she told us that she just tried to sneak a photo of some hot guy, and forgot to turn off her flash, and she was embarrassed as f**k, everyone thought it was hilarious. to this day i think about how it would have turned out if A) the genders were swapped, or B) she was ugly
Women abusing men. Happens so much, even in the public light. Be it verbal or physical, they get away with it.
Lazy people in the workplace get away with being lazy, however when the hard worker slacks off they’re criticized. While both get paid the same.
And then for the extra deep screwing,, if you are the super star employee, you get rewarded by being asked to pick up the extra work the slackers aren't getting done.
The laws don’t seem to apply to lawmakers
Tommy Lee posts a d**k pic: F*****G LEGEND
Britney Spears posts a (censored) nude pic: UNSTABLE BAD MOTHER
When wearing make-up: "Why not show your natural beauty?" Without make-up: "Are you feeling sick or tired..?"
On the other hand, people often fawn over a father doing normal basic parenting things like changing diapers or taking a kid to the playground like "OMG what a hands on father, that's so sweet!" Whereas when a mom does it, no one thinks twice about it.
*Woman has a job not remotely related to her appearance*
Everyone: makes unsolicited comments on her appearance.
*Man has a job unrelated to his appearance.*
Everyone: Talks about his skill level/personality/other relevant trait.
So much this!!! At my job, which I love, on more than one occasion, an invitation to a client meeting/dinner/event is accompanied by a dress code for women but not one for men.
People who smoke get multiple smoke breaks but if I take a 5 minute break, I’m seen as lazy
It’s so ingrained in society smoking is something that’s become normal to poison your lungs
Imagine a one night stand. The woman got pregnant. Men don't have the right to demand an abortion or sign their duties as a father away, but still have to pay child support, if the mom decides to keep the baby.
This is why MEN are the ones that should take more care. They don't get a say if someone wants to abort because it's not him having to sacrifice their body, career, friends etc. But you were involved in creating the pregnancy so if the woman wants to keep it. Then too bad, so sad. The child is not at fault and deserves to be taken care of emotionally and financially (kids aren't cheap). You gotta step up.
Just to echo this, child support is for the support of the *child*. A kid doesn't deserve to starve just because Dad couldn't bother to wear a condom.
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All pregnancies result from the presence of sperm. Don't want a baby, men? GET SNIPPED. That simple. It can be reversed. Oh, what's that? You say you don't want other people telling you what to do with your body? You are SO CLOSE to getting the point!
That’s because it’s her body, not his. He doesn’t get to make decisions for her body.
Yes. It is a simple as that. It's not a "double standard". If he forces her to have an abortion it's invading her body autonomy, same with a pregnancy (and to force someone to do that against their will is pure torture). The day men can get pregnant we can change that.
Load More Replies... If you are a male having casual sex without a condom or a vasectomy then yes you contributed to creating a child. YOU DO HAVE THE POWER TO PREVENT THIS. If you do not take steps in protection you a May be someone who has every intention of shirking the consequences of your actions, be it pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases. Women who don't demand protection during sex are equally responsible to require protection. Everybody grow up. If you are mature enough to get intimate, you are mature enough to protect yourself and others from unwanted consequences.
Equally responsible. The guy agreed having sex with no protevtion, so he agreed with the possibility of a pregnancy. Shared risk.
Load More Replies... True... true. But there are other alternatives men in this position may have failed to consider. Like using a condom (or 5). Getting a vasectomy (which can be reversed). Abstinence (a macro-idea, probably not do-able given the circumstances). With some forethought and preparation, you can head off some of these disasters consequences.
Abstinence is another double standard. We're told "Abstinence is 100% effective." No, a woman practicing abstinence can still be impregnated by a rapist. It's ony 100% effective for men.
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then men need to stop relying on women to take birth control into their hands - take some responsibility for yourself men
There was a male birth control pill being made. In testing, men complained it gave them stomache aches... so they scrapped it. Stomach aches. When hormones (b/c) for women uproot your very being and make some of us homicidal. Or IUDs slip or start poking around inside us. I've heard horror stories about getting those inserted and the pain women undergo, too. Oh. And don't forget! We're not allowed to get sterilized. I tried four times and was scolded or ignored by doctors, both male and female. I'm... I'm so tired.
This right here is the true double standard! Men shouldn't blame women for having their baby when they don't want it. They should be demanding a male control pill so they could prevent this from happening.
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They should use condom, they are cheap! - not only to prevent pregnancy but to avoid transmitting or getting STD
Top tip: If you put a penis in a vagina and then shoot sperm into the cervix then this is trying for a baby. Always use a condom otherwise expect a baby to arrive 9 months later.
It's half your DNA that went into creating this new life. You did the deed, now you step up and be a goddamn Man. Take responsibility for your actions.
there is also the double standard in that if in such a scenario if the woman wants an abortion the man can file case to prevent it. may not want custody of future child & possibly b***h about having to support but forces the woman to have the child. frankly, if a man is this concerned about this issue then take precautions. don't want kids? get a vasectomy. not ready? learn to use a condom properly so you can't complain that "it doesn't feel good/the same". in regards to this issue, men need to stop playing victim unless they take precautions themselves. and, never, EVER believe it if a woman says she is on birth control.
Talk to me when you go through 9 months of carrying another human being in your body and push a baby out of your d**k.
Boo hoo poor men. Get vasectomies then until you are ready to be a parent
Also men need to lobby for male contraceptives. Its not fair that they have no say in this. But its not them that will have to go through the torment that is pregnancy and childbirth
I think what OP is trying to convey, is that it isn't equal if a man doesn't want the baby, he has no say and if he does want the baby, he also has no say. If there is child support when the father leaves, why isn't there grief support when the mother decides not to give him their child? All around, there needs to be better decision making and owning up to your actions. No contraceptive is 100%, even when it works as it's supposed to work
It is to be understood that sex will probably result in pregnancy. If you go into it believing that there is 100% no chance of pregnancy, you shouldn't be having sex. Also, discussing possible pregnancy with your partner goes a long way.
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But that's not a double standard. That's the reality of biology. And yes, of course you should be responsible for a child you helped create, you want to punish the child for existing? If you don't want children, use every bit of contraception you can lay your hands on. And then still keep in mind that if it fails, you do not have the option of an abortion. Be responsible!
Um. No. SO MANY MEN do not take responsibility for their actions. DO NOT pay child support. Ignore the child. This is some privileged patriarchal whining. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY. SO MANY "fathers" do not.
Why is no one commenting about this picture having a woman holding a positive COVID-test instead of pregnancy test??! 😂😂
it takes 2 to make a baby, if both are iresponsible and just want to have fun, condoms are not 100% safe, there is still plan B for her if she wants to be sure no unwanted pregnancy will appear, man can't do anything about it after the fact, so guys, don't use your real names if you don't want extra luggage !
Je 2as as inprotected as she was and no he can't deside she has to kill the lofe inside her. He as mutch as she should have shosen to protect themselves in the first place.
.....there are many things a man can do to prevent pregnancies he doesnt want to support. Giving them a say in the womens abortion choice is not the answer
Imagine this. Woman gets pregnant after a one night stand. And are allowed to make decisions about HER own body!
In many courts, IF the mother can afford to take care of the kid herself the dad can sign his rights over.
Happening to my son right not. I offered to pay for the abortion. Nope. Mother is mentally ill... her mom is in rehab... (sigh)...
Yeah. If only they would come up with a way for men to have sex and avoid pregnancies.
If condom was used but faulty, if woman put on condom in a sexy way and made a little hole with nails or teeth, man is guilty of what ? Having sperm that works? Do we have to go with signed agreement before that ? Is it woman's birth control responsibility of random guy she decides to have sex with? Nope... If man doesn't want to assume responsibility , woman's choice to keep baby should be her responsibility also... Or she should abstain from this. On the other hand, if this is a stable relationship, man should be responsible...
This! If contraseption failed and the woman decides to keep the baby after a one night stand, it should be her responsibility. If you are dumb enough to bare back a one night stand, than you should pay for your stupidity. Edit. The last is ment about the guy.
"If you are dumb enough to bare back a one night stand, than you should pay for your stupidity." And that includes the guy who also went bareback. EDIT: Lillukka clarified they meant this includes the guy. Thanks, Lillukka :)
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Depends on state. Not happening in Wisconsin. You are on the hook financially until the child is 18 or graduates highschool
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Parents telling their kids to do as they say but not as they do. Set the freaking example.
that has a time and place, but its not always realistic. obviously my fourteen year old cant watch the same shows or movies as me, drive, drink alcohol, make certain jokes, or go to certain concerts. the best thing a parent can do is show kids there's a time and place for everything, lay clear expectations for when that time may be, and show them how to safely enjoy adult privileges
How short men (a genetic trait impossible to change) are often laughed at, but if you make fun of a fat woman (a trait absolutely possible to change), it's suddenly wrong
In a similar vein, rape jokes about men are made all the time (think "don't drop the soap" in prison movies, or Vince Vaughn getting repeatedly raped in Wedding Crashers) even though if the genders were switched it would clearly be wrong
Most of this is right, but people make fun of fat women all the time without repercussions. Not to mention the number of doctors who will chalk up any issue a woman has to her weight, and refuse to do any further examination; being short probably won't kill a man, but being fat can and does kill women.
Note: this post originally had 65 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
Man cleaning and cooking "so nice, your husband is helping". Woman cleaning and cooking "she could do better on that steak". Man is staying home while wife is working "he's a leach, and she's stupid and naive to support him". Woman stays at home while man is working "he's a hero taking care of financial needs, she's gold digger". All of that sickening, because looks like no matter what we do (no matter our gender) - we are still not enough, wrong and suspicious. Seriously, time to not give a sh*t of what people opinions are, especially when no one asked them :)
Why do I keep reading these, get upset that the world is so unjust and go around my day with a spoilt mood?
Sometimes I have to remind myself of the story of the two wolves(you can find it online). And I remember that what I feed my mind has an effect on my state of mind, my opinions and who I am. It's important to watch what we feed our minds. Just like food in our bodies.
Load More Replies... men can walk around topless in summer but we women cant, thats a double standard i hate
Having opinions that are contrary to this of the rest of the internet. I'm tired of having to fight unfair bans.
You are not just opinionated but judgmental, and people don't like that. You sound unhappy.
Load More Replies... Man cleaning and cooking "so nice, your husband is helping". Woman cleaning and cooking "she could do better on that steak". Man is staying home while wife is working "he's a leach, and she's stupid and naive to support him". Woman stays at home while man is working "he's a hero taking care of financial needs, she's gold digger". All of that sickening, because looks like no matter what we do (no matter our gender) - we are still not enough, wrong and suspicious. Seriously, time to not give a sh*t of what people opinions are, especially when no one asked them :)
Why do I keep reading these, get upset that the world is so unjust and go around my day with a spoilt mood?
Sometimes I have to remind myself of the story of the two wolves(you can find it online). And I remember that what I feed my mind has an effect on my state of mind, my opinions and who I am. It's important to watch what we feed our minds. Just like food in our bodies.
Load More Replies... men can walk around topless in summer but we women cant, thats a double standard i hate
Having opinions that are contrary to this of the rest of the internet. I'm tired of having to fight unfair bans.
You are not just opinionated but judgmental, and people don't like that. You sound unhappy.
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