It’s nice to see humans being bros and helping each other out, whether it’d be with minor things like helping someone move homes or something a bit more serious like long-term financial help to keep things afloat. Regardless, it’s a virtue that many of us adhere to because it’s the right thing to do and the world needs more positivity.
However, sometimes being nice turns against us because someone decides to take advantage of our benevolence. You know, like when a person who we’re helping tries to dupe or swindle us to maximize their own personal gain, which ends up being the straw that broke the camel’s back: we lose faith in humanity, and end up never helping anybody at all!
This is the situation that Reddit user u/mofoxx has recently set up for people to consider in his now-viral r/AskReddit post that asks the question “What was your 'F*** it, done helping others' moment?” Over 12,000 people responded to it, sharing stories of how they decided that they were done being Mr. Nice Guy or Gal.
Bored Panda has collected some of the best stories and turned them into a neat list that you can find below. Go check them out and vote and comment on the ones you liked the most. And while you’re down there, why not also share some of your stories, if you have any!
One day I found a puppy, dirty, hungry, and just scared and lost. I gave him a good meal, and some love, and went to drop him off at the address on his collar.
The dude thanked me, then proceeded to beat the crap out of the dog (telling me to mind my own business when I tried to get him to stop), carried him by his collar to a 5 ft short chain in a muddy patch with a crappy broken 3-wall "doghouse" where im guessing the dog spent 100% of it's time.
I called the cops, but they did nothing (the dog technically had shelter, which qualifies bc 3 walls and a roof, even if it was filled with holes and it gets 20° at night here.)
ps. I stole the dog 3 weeks later.
I was working at a fast food place when I was a student. I usually did overtime to help everyone clean up and close the restaurant until about 1am because we were so understaffed.
I guess people got used to me staying late because one night when I was supposed to finish at 11, I overheard some of my colleagues (the stereotypical mean girls) say how bad the clients had cluttered everything tonight and how it was going to be a mess to clean up. Then they say 'but hey, [me] is gonna stay late tonight again, let's leave it to her, she always does the cleaning anyways', followed by laughing and some b****** about me.
That night I clocked out at 11 after doing all of my tasks at the counter and left. The girls stared at me in shock and when I was outside I saw one of them standing in the middle of the restaurant with her hand on her forehead, looking at the mess she would have to clean before going home.
Weirdly, after that day, they started cleaning earlier without waiting for me to do everything!
I was 17 and still in school. The corridors were empty as my teacher sent me out to go do her a job. So I was just walking down the corridor when this girl carrying a bunch of books bumped into me and she dropped the books (like you see in a movie) so I apologise because I wasn’t really paying attention and I bend down and get the books for her and hand them to her expecting at least a small thanks. But no. Instead this chick had to say “I have a boyfriend so never ever purposely bump into me just so I can talk to you. You should’ve walked away.” As she begins to turn away I grab her shoulder which makes her turn around and I knock the books out of her hand and say “now that was on purpose” and I walked away whilst she was stood there speechless. Some of you may think that was messed up but I don’t really regret a single bit of it as she got was she deserved.
My mother and her new husband had moved into a new place and invited all the "kids" over for Christmas.
In previous years we would buy a whole turkey dinner from somewhere so no one (me) had to cook, so imagine my surprise when my husband and I walk in, my mother walks out of the kitchen, hands me a spoon and says, "Good, you're finally here", and goes to sit down in the living room.
After a quick and awkward conversation, it was determined that my job was to make sure everything currently in progress (or not even started) got to the table on time, while everyone else socialized. Basically, I was the help and should have realized that, so any feelings I had about that were my fault. I was a good cook, and my mother taught me everything (not) so I owed her.
So I did, and not knowing the family dynamics, my new step siblings were very thankful and appreciative of all my efforts, which caused a meltdown from my mother about how we all should be thanking HER.
That was the first time I used a phrase that has come in handy for these situations, "I'm so sorry, it will never happen again."
And it never did. They weren't happy when they finally realized what that meant.
Had a friend years ago who was a bit self centered & prone to stretching the truth, but he was a nice enough guy with a rough backstory and my friend group liked him, so I cut him a lot of slack. I like to host and I have friends staying over pretty regularly -- back then, I usually had one or two people spending the night on any given day. Anyhow, over the span of a couple of years this guy starts abusing that -- staying over for days or even weeks at a time, eating my food and drinking my liquor without contributing, that sort of thing ... While constantly talking about his grand plans and day dreams as if they'd already happened. A little sad, but also pretty annoying after a while. Anyhow, I sit him down one day and let him know he's gotta head home, and that he's free to come over and hang out but I'm not comfortable with him staying over for the time being. He leaves, I think it went remarkably well and head out to work...and it turns out that he broke in while I was away at work and stole a bunch of my sister's things because "his birthday was coming up and neither of us even thought to get him a gift." It takes a special person to rationalize how burglarizing someone is really their fault. Anyway, all slack and sympathy went out the window immediately ... Called the cops and he's dead to me.
I used to frequently stay late at work for clients who showed up to the veterinary clinic last-minute with a non-emergency problem and no appointment. Then three times in a row, three different people were told up front about the after hours fee, agreed to pay it instead of scheduling an appointment for the next day, and all of them called back the next day fussing that they shouldn’t have been charged extra for keeping us 30-60 minutes past our scheduled hours and that we were terrible and trying to scam them by charging for our time (even though we told them up front and they had another option). It was exhausting and demoralizing- we did more than we had to for them after already working a full day because a desire to help is why we’re all here in the first place, and they responded by saying our time was worth nothing and we suck. The entire staff said “f*** that.”
Now - unless it’s a literal life and death situation - if we can’t fit someone in before closing and they didn’t have an appointment it’s a firm no. I’m in this profession to help others and I still work late for real emergencies when they happen or if an appointment runs longer than expected, but I’m done sacrificing my personal time for entitled people who don’t actually need it.
When a "good" friend of mine that I worked under had cancer and wasn't able to pay some bills I loaned her $200 just to help. I was only 18 at the time and felt bad because she had kids, it was right around the holidays and was I just wanted to help however I could and be a good person in life. She promised to pay me back when she could.
Turns out she lied about having cancer, was stealing from the company I worked at, scammed my other co workers, and would come in after calling out of work for her chemo to make fraudulent returns while I was overseeing the store by myself because of her calling out.
Got that b**** fired and got promoted to her position after
I had a 7' couch I didn't want to move, so I put it out on the front lawn with a sign that said "FREE." A guy came by and said, "I'll be right back to pick this up." I changed the sign to "SOLD" and he never came back.
Hauled the couch back out to the front lawn next week with a "FREE" sign. Another guy came by and said he wanted the couch. I told him, "Give me $10 and I'll hold it for you." He handed me a $10 bill and was back in 15 minutes with a pickup truck. I gave him back his $10. People are nicer when they've got skin in the game.
This is more specific to the teeny-tiny town I used to live in. Used to believe I was valued by the community. Used to actually believe in that community spirit, that soul, if you will. I had seen it and participated in it.
When I left my marriage of almost 13 years, there had been about ten years of domestic violence. I well and truly thought the community would help me out if I needed it and reached out, as I had seen so many other times in the 15 years I had lived there. Nope, got quite the opposite. Nobody believed me. People who I thought were friends disappeared. People who I thought were friends played the, ‘It wasn’t really that bad was it?’ card. People that I thought I could trust to help keep me safe by not tell anyone where I was living went straight to my abuser with that info. Hardly anyone would even speak to me, even just to say hi, when I needed acknowledgement most.
F*** all of those f****.
We have helped out my sister n law a few times with money/bills. Never a lot, $50 here, $100 there. Usually for some bill to avoid services being cut off. I’m usually the more heartfelt one in my marriage, but I ended up being the one to put my foot down.
Went over to her apartment once. She had two big flat screen TVs, new couch, new fridge, kids on PlayStation or whatever console she got them. It was all Rent-a-Center stuff, but that was the end for me. I didn’t have any of those things myself, not to mention the incredibly bad financial decision those things were with the high interest rate. Part of me felt like I was taking food out of her kids mouths, but realized that no, her poor decisions was doing that.
Had a newish neighbor ask if he could borrow our lawn mower....sure. Well more or less every week he would come and get it out of our garage, use it to cut his grass, put it away without cleaning it or adding gas. In the fall we "mentioned" it was a good time to get deals on a new mower. He never talked to us again.
Partner and I moved provinces, only family in our new area is partners aunt and uncle and their kids about an hour from us. They invited us down for Christmas a few years ago. Nothing too fancy, just family. Cool. They’re pretty religious and we’re pretty gay, so I’m always a touch hesitant spending a lot of time, but it was Christmas and family and yadda yadda yadda.
We get there and I ask if they need any help with anything, just general good guest stuff. The aunt then reveals that the reason they invited us was for me to help in the cooking of the turkey and sides. I’m a good cook, and I don’t mind helping out and she’s not the most confident cook so it’s not a huge deal. So I follow her to the kitchen and nothing has been done. Like. Turkey is still in the plastic. She says the oven is a bit finicky and that she’ll leave me to it.
Like. Literally expected me to come and cook them the whole Christmas dinner. My partner was out in the yard with his cousins playing on a frozen pond, his aunt and uncle were drinking in their living room, and I’m pretty well being treated as the help for the next few hours.
Partner comes in and sees me in the kitchen, comes and chats and realizes the reason we got invited was for me to cook for them. He’s pissed. I’m just carrying on. I serve up dinner, we eat, and then we leave right away.
A couple days later he chews his aunt out on the phone and we haven’t seen them since. Evidently in the call she had made some comment about not abiding by our “lifestyle choice” but made an exception cuz of the way my partners mother raved about my cooking.
Was donating baby/toddler clothes to a mom in need through one of those Facebook donating pages. She didn't have a car, I did so I drove 30 minutes away to deliver the stuff all for free. Got in a bad accident less than 5 blocks from her house. So I texted her to see if she could come get what she was able to because my car was totaled. She wouldn't walk the 4 blocks then reported me to the group and got me kicked out for "not following through". I ended up with a fractured sternum, yeah F*** that s***, never again.
A “friend” of mine borrowed a game off me once. About month later I remembered an asked for it. he told me he couldn’t give it back because he gave it to his younger brother for his birthday ... would have asked for money but i knew it would have been difficult and the way I saw it, was easier to just lose him as a friend. His friendship was worth less than the value of a cheap game
The day I realized that no one wanted to help me in return.
Look it's not about doing something for someone to get something back and I will ALWAYS help whoever I can that needs it. But when the same people consistently ask for help or money or what have you, without actually wanting to help you when you need it, or just hang out or be friendly in general, it's a huge red flag.
Met a guy who had hit a rough patch. We had great chemistry and he made me laugh (ugh the bar was SO low). He gave me a sob story of why he was getting kicked out of his communal house and I offered to let him stay with me because I live alone and have my own place.
HUGE MISTAKE! He hadn't hit a rough patch, he was the rough patch. Barely paid for anything and would get wasted while I was at work and be a total ass hole when I got home. Got fired from his job, ate all the food I'd buy and make excuses as to why he hadn't found another job yet. The absolute kicker was when I went home for my Nonna's funeral, he treated it like a mini vacation in my place. Invited friends over, played music so loud the cops got called and when he was supposed to pick me up from the airport, he was wasted at someone's house at 8 am. Never felt better than the day I kicked him out. No more financial and emotional abuse. Finally felt like my place was mine again.
I've learned an expensive lesson. Don't help people that won't help themselves. When nothing is their fault, there's a serious issue. Run fast and far.
I'm a teacher. A parent of a former student contacted me in an emergency situation, couldn't afford to pay bills, and needed help. She was super helpful to me in my first year teaching, so I asked friends and family to help out and raised her about $2,000. Never again. She has contacted me every few weeks since then, always with a new reason why she needs more money (and when I offer food and clothing resources, she refuses it). It has placed me in such an awkward situation and I regret ever trying to help her out in the first place
We were asleep one night with window open. We wake up bc there is a couple walking down the road arguing. The girl is closer than the guy. Next thing we know the girl is banging on door begging to come in. We call police. They get there and couple gone.
They tell us that’s a common ruse being used in area to get you to open door so they can rob you.
When my dad was moving out of state, he listed a bunch of stuff for free on Craigslist that he just wanted to get rid of. One of the things was a fairly nice Weber charcoal grill and some guy emailed him and demanded multiple pics from every angle and that the grill be deep cleaned before he'd take it. My dad didn't even reply and just blocked the guy. An hour later, someone else said they'd take it if it was still available and my dad was more than happy to give it away to them.
Worked in Baton Rouge for a decade (1999-2009) and would regularly give the homeless I saw around town - generously if I can say that without being a douche bag.
In 2008 I was on a run for work and a guy caught me near the Target on Siegen lane. He had nothing he was homeless and on top of it had been robbed an hour ago. No worries, empty my wallet for the man, we all need help. Coming out of the shopping complex I see him hiding in the bushes opening a pack of smokes on a laptop while on his iPhone.
Then a month later, saw a man I regularly donated to on Government street. I would catch him on weekends - but this weekend my drop-offs started early so I saw him as he arrived in downtown BR. I sat behind the TV station waiting for a pick-up, and this cat gets out of a new car, changes into dirty clothes and grabs his sign from the trunk and heads off to his corner.
I have given food and connected people with charities, but I have not given a penny to a "beggar" since then.
I lived next to someone just like this. 2 young kids, very friendly, then they just take advantage of you.
I made the mistake of telling them I was a nanny and offering to babysit all of one time.
After that it was seriously at least once a day they’d drop of their kids. It wasn’t even like the kids were easy. 2 kids, still in diapers, who were little terrorizers.
I finally told them to f*** off after they yelled at me for not being available. They knocked on my door, left their 2 young kids waiting there, and peaced out.
I wasn’t even there. Cops were called after a toddler in nothing but her diaper was wandering the apartments.
This is so f*****, I had a female friend who told me she had cancer as well and I told her I would help take her to treatments etc, turns out she didn't..she was just trying to get close to me to break up my marriage. People are so f*****.
The same thing happened to my Mom when she finally left my Dad. I was far too young to understand it at the time, but her hometown just up and turned their back on her! In some cases even her own family, no one believed her, accused her of lying. and would report her every move back to my Dad. It got so terrible she ended up leaving her hometown behind and moving somewhere completely new.
In freshman year of college, my friend of about two years got kicked out of his parents house. He said he needed somewhere to stay "for the night" till his parents cooled off.
I said you can stay a week if you want but more than that and you'll need to pay me rent (he made pretty good money, more than me even). I was kind of hoping to find someone to split the bills with anyway.
A week rolls by and he hasn't even looked for another place. His parents aren't letting him come back.
I ask him if he's going to stay, he says "if it's alright with you" I say sure, just pay me half the cost of the apt every month. He said he can't (I know damn well he can). I say "well then you gotta go"
He asked if he could stay another week. I said no. He got pissed at me for that. I then got pissed at him for getting pissed at me. I gave you a place to stay and you are mad at me??? Totally ended the friendship.
Never let anyone into your place unless you have a signed contract
Somebody put one one of those "free items" sites on Facebook that she needed an outdoor playscape thing for her kids who were going crazy during quarantine. My kids are now older, but we had this cool plastic Little Tykes "fort" that was in great shape (those things are beasts). It had a slide and a little play area. Perfect for the age her kids were. I drive a pickup so even offered to deliver it. She went full [beggar mode] on me and said she was looking for a more elaborate one with more things to do. Like the giant wooden ones. Good luck lady. I'm done with you all.
When I had a truck during college. EVERYONE suddenly wanted me to help move them.
Most were cool and gave me money or ordered pizza (unprompted btw).
One time however some dude I barely knew needed some help. I show up, and nothing is packed in his apartment. He had a giant fish tank and lived on the 3rd floor with no elevator. It was a f****** nightmare and I never got a dime nor food or even some beers. I never talked to him after that.
I used to help people plan their trips to Japan. It was very hard to get started on my own so I offered weeks of free consulting to a few people in exchange for a review at the end of their trip. I made their itineraries, wrote a tailored culture guide for each, booked their hotels / restaurants, gave them recommendations, etc. Only one person out of 8 actually wrote a review.
After working free of charge as a freelance graphics guy to build my portfolio up, and having a client basically make the most minor of adjustments, and constant revisions - four posters which should have taken me a day tops really....ended up taking 3 months. And when they wanted poster x4, I wanted money - ghosted.
Had a new manager come in to my former place of employment. Immediately this new manager starts firing people for bulls**** reasons and hiring people from her old job to replace them. The walls in that place talked, and few notice the janitor, so when I heard rumors of the next heads on the chopping block, one of which was mine, I decided to be nice and help out the other two. I considered them good friends, and it was the least I could do, right?
I warn one, and he takes it seriously and begins looking for another job, so when the pink slip arrived, he landed on his feet running.
The other promptly goes squealing to the manager in question, who uses that as an excuse to fire me, and THEN fires the person that had squealed. All three jobs were quickly filled by her old friends from her previous job.
I've refused to lift a finger to help a coworker out since. I've had advanced warnings of firing and disciplinary hearings and various other juicy gossip (People for some reason think I hear with my eyes and assume that they can talk in front of me and I won't notice. I'm going blind, people, not deaf.) but I've kept it all to myself. F*** 'em.
One time we showed up to help a sister in law and her bf move and they were sitting there when we pulled up, waiting for us to get there to start moving. We unloaded what we had and just left. No need to help those that can't even do the basic to help themselves.
I have neighbors across the road who we extended ourselves to to help out because they had young kids and seemed to be struggling. Well, they were really starting to take advantage to the point where we couldn’t walk out of our house without them literally yelling for us because they needed a phone, a ladder, money, someone to drive them somewhere, diapers, our Wi-Fi password, our wood, etc. etc. This started happening everyday and multiple times a day. It became ridiculous and oppressive.
They have since pulled that s*** with everyone else on our road, wearing out one generous person after the other. Once you realize people are merely moochers and are content to remain so, that’s when you’re done.
I had a coworker in tears once telling me she had nothing to feed her kids for dinner, no laundry soap to wash their clothes, etc etc. I fell for it, gave her money to buy the kids food and brought her some laundry stuff from home. The next day she shows up to work with two Redbulls and a breakfast sandwich from a drive thru coffee stand with her nails done. Never again.
I had a customer who used to show up and just wear me down until I gave him free stuff. He got so intrusive that even after I left that job he coerced my old coworker into telling him where I work now. This dude had the audacity to call my work and left a message asking me to go scout out camp sites for him. I ignored it and he then called over and over again. Finally my boss had to tell him to stop calling if it doesn’t have anything to do with business. He kept trying, and eventually gave up.
I was 16, only had 10 euro with me. Homeless lady begging for money, I tell her I won't give her money, went to the local supermarket, bought 2 packs of milk, some bread, some cookies, a bottle of juice and some cooked chicken. Went and gave it to her, with all kindness. 1 hour later I pass by the same street, and everything is on the floor thrown away, not even eaten or open.
I used to volunteer for an organization which helped women get jobs. They’d send baby sitters to women’s homes so they could go to job interviews. It was totally fine if these moms did a quick essential errand, like grocery shopping, after their interview. I watched one woman’s kids five times and assumed she just had bad luck in her interviews but she always came back with a fresh manicure. I learned she’d been blowing off the interviews the organization had been setting up to get drinks with friends or get her nails and hair done.
I was pretty down on my luck. Quit my job and started touring in a band. Just getting started so money wasn't great.
One night a 50ish year old dude stops me at the entrance to the grocery store. I had enough for a cheap six pack, toilet paper, and cat food. He gives me a story about how he's stranded over night and just needed some food before he could get back on the road.
So I go in and figure out how to get the guy some dinner. Some chicken gingers, macaroni salad, and some dinner rolls. Skip my beer, get cat food, and TP.
Take the guy his food. Go to my van and start digging for change. If I can't get beer, I'll at least get a candy bar.
Go back in and the f***** is buying a 12 of Keystone. I raised hell at him. Just berated the guy out the door making sure everyone knew why.
F*** you man.
Had a similar situation. A guy I used to be friends with couldnt afford to pay his bills. It was middle of winter, his heat was shut off in his house so I told him he could crash at my place until he figured it out.
Three days in and I'm coming home to my sink STACKED with dishes, garbage everywhere, all my food GONE. I told him he can't stay if he's not going to contribute or help out around the house. Couple days later I told him he had to go.
Dude runs off to the west coast to essentially die, comes back a very mentally unhinged drug addict.
I still talk to him online now and again but I can't be his friend anymore.
When someone just spat some gum on my hand when I tried to help them up, and to this day screw them
I was in school. Noone was paying attention to what i was saying. I just did my work silently, turned it in, and watched as the rest of my table group went up in flames.
I let a friend move in with me after his relationship soured. He had the same mindset that he was doing me a favor by moving in with me and paying a portion of my rent, rather than me doing him a favor by giving him some place to land after his living situation with his girlfriend soured.
The entitlement that him living with me was only beneficial on my part made me done with that situation.
Last 2 times I've helped push someone out of mud/snow in the winter they've slammed the gas pedal down, coated me in mud, and as soon as they were free of the mud just kept driving without so much as a thank you.
I've stopped helping people stuck in the mud/snow.
I crashed my car covering a coworker’s shift. They needed help because they couldn’t find a sitter and I get guilted into covering all the time. That wasn’t the time.
My **** it moment was a month later, after I finally saved up enough for a new car, it was stolen outside of my work when I was covering a coworker’s shift. When I needed help or my shifts covered? “Oh sorry I’m busy I can’t.”
When I dropped my rates significantly to help a struggling family with child care.
Blended family needing to find childcare for thier emotionally damaged children who had been hospitalised by mums boyfried.
Both parents worked and my wages where payed through a charity scheme.
It was hell. They where utterly useless as people let alone parents.
They took the piss and ended up basically doing nothing with the house or children and ended up owing me nearly 2K due to them comiting benefit fraud and pocketing what they should have been passing on to me.
The final straw was when the asked me to baby sit that night as they needed to 'go out on the lash, its been stressful' whilst telling me they couldn't afford food let allone pay me.
Never again will i fall for a sob story.
When I rushed to another state about 2,000 miles away to help my sister because of a medical issue, and for whatever reason she decided to have her neighbor help her instead, without letting me know. It was 3 months ago and she is fine but still has not contacted me. That was the end for me
Im a nice person, I look after people... colleague is sick? I go out and buy cough medicine or paracetamol for them. Got no food? Ill get you a takeaway. I never expected anything in return but one day I was asked for money. I did... not alot... it was like £20... and they eventually gave it back... then they asked again... and again... never wanted food...or a train ticket... just money...
Then the last time I lent them money he walked straight into a betting shop and put money on a football game... that was it. . He asked me for more money some time later and I said no. Guy literally throws a tantrum "Id always help you out! I give it back! I thought we were mates!"
I dont fund gambling addictions. And havent given him or anyone else help again, just looking after me now.
A former coworker and I, when I worked in Boston, would see the same homeless man on the street across from the Garden. One morning she calls him over to the car while we’re stopped at the light and hands him a granola bar. He threw it back at her and said “I don’t want that s***, I need cash!” That was her one and done.
Me and my gf were leaving a McDonald’s and pulling up to the stoplight. There’s this homeless old man that we’ve seen around the area ever since we moved here and my gf decides, since we’ve never given anything to this guy and he’s always there, we should give him one of our mcdoubles.
He comes up to the car, says thank you! And walks back to his corner as the light turns green and just tosses it on the road right in front of where we’re driving..
Not me but my parents.
My cousin moved in with us for two years when I was a kid, she's 18 years older than me. She ended up being a drug addict that smoked in the house, stole money, couldn't hold down a job, and mercilessly picked on my sister and I until the day she got kicked out.
That was almost 30 years ago. To this day my parents refuse to let anyone move in because they "just need a place to stay until they're back on their feet."
I've got a cousin I've had to cut off from money and help. She fails to realise exactly how often it is she's mooching from family. When we were all at Gramma's funeral, that's when I found out she did it with everyone in the family and everyone had cut her off. I feel bad because she DOES want to hang out socially and is super nice and friendly to me, but it's that pattern that everytime we hang out, I'm being hit up that really killed our relationship.
My wife had to do the same thing. We gave my cousin a very nice bed that she ruined, and then constantly asked for our help to move as she was one of those people who could either get along with roomates but not pay her share of the rent, or live with people she hates but can pay rent.
A friend bought a car and I thought I’d be nice and help her out by fixing it for a lower rate than any of the local shops. Next thing I knew she was trying to get me to rebuild the car. I was done at that point.