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This Twitter Thread Has 35 Women Sharing The Moments A Doctor Completely Ignored Their Concerns, And Now They Have To Face The Consequences
High cost, not the highest quality — that’s how most people describe the healthcare system in the US. After all, Americans spend more on health emergencies than people elsewhere, yet the US trails far behind other high-income countries on access to care, administrative efficiency, equity, and outcomes. But while anyone who has experience with the system can tell you how expensive it can be, they always hold a dash of hope to receive fair treatment. Something they usually don’t get.
That’s precisely what happened to writer and reporter Marisa Kabas. Last year, she kicked off a viral thread by sharing her infuriating story on Twitter. "How do I know weight stigma in health care is real?" she asked. Well, a mango-sized fibroid growing in her uterus overlooked by every single doctor she ever consulted gives a hint. And what’s even more disturbing? Most medical professionals dismissed her symptoms as signs that she needed to lose weight.
The woman’s thread sparked an important conversation and inspired thousands of women to chime in with their stories. From similar cases with weight-biased attitudes to simply unfortunate situations, we’ve gathered some of the most upsetting and illuminating responses to share with you all. Continue scrolling to read through the responses, and if you would like to participate in the discussion, be sure to share your experiences with us in the comments.
Writer Marisa Kabas has gone viral on Twitter after sharing how several doctors ignored her physical symptoms due to her weight
Her story inspired other women to chime in with similar experiences, here’s what they had to say
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
JJ(they/them) 3 years ago
As someone recovering from a car accident, WTF? I didn't have anything near this level and was still treated well, especially after an anxiety attack. Now i don't look feminine, maybe that's it? It breaks my heart the lives that could have been better/saved if doctors would shut up and listen
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"Everything seems fine! Come back again in a few months if you’re still having trouble," is something thousands of women around the world would do anything not to hear again. Yet, they experience it multiple times. Far too often, women can’t shake the feeling that something is not quite right with their bodies and turn to healthcare professionals hoping to find answers and some peace of mind. But unfortunately, doctors often let them down by downplaying or downright dismissing their worries.
Kabas’ viral thread has reached thousands of women who chimed in with extremely infuriating answers that show just how frequently physicians fail to provide proper treatment. For many, these stories act as a wake-up call about the seriously flawed medical system and the reality of how common it is for women’s concerns to be ignored because of deeply-rooted gender stereotypes.
#4
Down With Agent Hedgehog! 3 years ago
Sadly, true. Some irresponsible doctors assume stuff just because they do not seem to get it that no one actually exists to bore them out. Some, despite elite training and years of experience, does not realize patients are human beings, not just whiny or mentally incapable. Luckily, there are still good doctors out there.
#5
Ozacoter 3 years ago
They really dont care about their patients at all. I have been told today by my doctor that "endometriosis and CFS (chronic fatigue sindrome) dont cause disabilities ". I guess that i am no longer disabled and I will be magically cured. Or more likely that i will live the rest of my life in pain with no help whatsoever from doctors or the government
"It’s a huge issue in medicine," Dr. Tia Powell, a bioethicist and a professor of clinical epidemiology and population health at Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York, told the New York Times. According to her, health care providers may have implicit biases that affect the way women are heard, understood, and treated. "Medical schools and professional guidelines are starting to address this problem, but there’s still much to be done."
#7
Delta Dawn 3 years ago
Mine was found during an annual gyn exam, which wouldn’t necessarily happen today now that they only do them every few years. There’s a lot to be said for a yearly check-in, especially for women in their late 30’s on up, or anyone with pain, irregular bleeding, etc. even if they think they know what’s going on.
#8
asexualotl (she/her) 3 years ago (edited)
a family can still be complete without human kids or even fur babies. the worst part (especially for straight women) is that they'll be like, oh, what if you find a guy you want to have the child with? like, are you really putting your patients reproductive autonomy in the hands of a man you don't know?
Not only do female patients experience a lack of care in the healthcare system, but female doctors find their symptoms aren’t being taken seriously as well. And Dr. Powell knows this from personal experience. "A while back, I lost 10 pounds over a couple months, so I went to my doctor and told him I thought it was a sign I was having a recurrence of an old illness. He gave me a few reasons he disagreed and added, 'Plus, you’ve been on a diet.'" Since Dr. Powell never said this to her doctor herself, this immediately struck her as odd. Moreover, she began to question whether the physician would have said the same to a male patient. Luckily, she turned to another doctor who ran a set of tests, confirmed her suspicions, and began treating her immediately.
"It can be hard to speak up if you feel you’re not being treated fairly," Dr. Powell said. "I’m a professor at a medical school and I struggled with it."
#11
Rebecca Lederer 3 years ago
On the other hand...if you're vegan or vegetarian they assume you must be vitamin deficient and test you constantly. Levels are always normal, including B's D's and Iron, and they never address my actual problem.
Sadly, gender bias is evident in the medical system. A recent study by National Pain Report and non-profit foundation For Grace found that women report significant discrimination against them. They conducted a survey of 2,400 women with chronic pain that revealed over 90 percent of them feel the gender bias is real, and many of the respondents said they sense discrimination in the way their pain is treated by doctors.
#12
Delta Dawn 3 years ago
Oh lord move out of Texas, that’s the best advice anyone can give you right now!
#13
#14
Aleksandra 3 years ago
Don't ever belive any doctor who says that your pain is prolly "just menstrual pain". And even if it was menstrual pain, if it's SO BAD it's NOT NORMAL and means something is wrong, may be endometriosis, may be something else. There is no "just" with menstrual pain nor any pain.
Moreover, 65 percent of women revealed their pain is taken less seriously because they are female, and 84 percent said they are treated differently by doctors because of their sex. "I think this survey is extraordinarily important because I think the experiences of women in pain need to come out in the open and really need to be publicized," psychologist Steve Passik, Ph.D., said.
"At times like now, when there’s a stigma to being a chronic pain patient and when there’s a stigma for taking controlled substances for pain, the last thing anyone needs is an additional unseen bias to make it worse. And the idea that women have a struggle that’s differentially worse is something that needs to come to light."
#15
Amanda Rose 3 years ago (edited)
Yes! I've lost 60-ish pounds in the last three years and suddenly it's all "was that lump there before? No? We need to biopsy this right now!" Turned out to be lipoma (non cancerous fat tumor).
#17
UpQuarkDownQuark 3 years ago (edited)
Does that idiot really think that everyone who isn’t Olympic runner skinny wheezes on their way to the car?
Interestingly, there’s one concerning reason why physicians are likely to misdiagnose or gaslight women’s health issues. Women’s symptoms are often seen as "hysterical" in the medical world, whether consciously or not. In an interview for Northwell Health, Dr. Stephanie Trentacoste McNally explained it’s no accident that the word "hysteria" originates from the Greek word for "uterus."
The specialist pointed out that there’s still a pervasive belief that anytime a female complains about her health, it’s either related to her hormones or all in her head. "Female hysteria was once a common medical diagnosis for women, applied whenever women displayed 'inappropriate' emotions such as anxiety, anger and even sexual desire. For centuries, it was believed that the uterus itself was the cause of a woman’s 'hysterical' symptoms."
"Unfortunately, these sorts of beliefs still carry on today. How often does a woman get angry, only to be asked if she’s about to get her period? How often does a perimenopausal woman go to her doctor’s office to complain about weight gain, only to be told that it’s related to hormones? Our hormones aren’t making us anxious or upset—these condescending attitudes are."
#20
Marina Rocha 3 years ago
Of course it's the US. Where else would doctors miss a mango sized cyst just because they don't feel like calling insurance and explaining why she needed a MRI. Lazy a*s****
But this does beg the question: why, in this day and age, do so many women continue to face gaslighting in the healthcare system? Of course, we see an undeniable change in the way women are being cared for today, but there’s still plenty of room for improvement. Dr. Bella R. Grossman noted in the interview that psychological and social influences play an important part in how women are treated.
"For example, men have a tendency to be more vocal and more persistent with their concerns. Women may have a harder time pushing back and advocating for themselves. They feel like they need to be good patients, which means accepting what their doctors tell them. But by doing so, they’re stripping themselves of a voice," she said.
#21
Snorma Ray 3 years ago
Going through this right now but I was put on vitamin D for a deficiency already and my symptoms still haven't improved. I keep getting told it's my anxiety when I know it's not. I'm having increased anxiety because no one seems to be able to tell me what's wrong with me.
If you can relate to any of these stories shared in this list, certain actions can help make sure physicians actually listen and heed your voiced concerns. The Society to Improve Diagnosis in Medicine (SIDM) suggested it’s important to find a professional you can trust. Moreover, they advised asking doctors who ignore your symptoms certain questions, such as "What might this be?" and "What do I do if these symptoms get worse?" This should make them stop and take time to consider your other options.
#25
#26
Agent 8433599 3 years ago (edited)
I can imagine the doctor just being like "Huh, who knew this was there?"
#27
Well-Dressed Wolf 3 years ago (edited)
Humans are technically animals, so a vet is totally qualified to self-diagnose if the human doctors are being useless! XD
And as people say, knowledge is power. It’s helpful to go to the doctor’s ready to present your issues clearly and factually and also be prepared with research on what types of tests and screenings should be performed for patients your age. But, most importantly, speak up. SIDM explained that expressing the depth of your concerns may help you receive your diagnosis faster. "Be willing to fight for yourself and your body but don’t be willing to put on the boxing gloves when you first walk in," they wrote.
#28
PixxelDust 3 years ago
Got told exactly that twice as a kid when in hospital for agonising stomach pain. Guess who just had 2 grape-sized ovarian cysts removed?
#29
The one with the high ground 3 years ago (edited)
Oh no, that's terrible!! The more I read here, the more I really want to become a doctor (I'm still a student) that actually can solve those problems. That listens to clients and takes them serious. There should be more!
#30
JJ(they/them) 3 years ago
i have no degree, but Im pretty sure the severeness of a burn has noting to do with weight? please correct me if I'm wrong.
#33
Melissa Boufford 3 years ago
I was also diagnosed with fibromyalgia. It means muscle pain and was The tre chic Diagnosis a while back. What they tell you to shut you up. Turned out to be MS
#34
Elizabeth Zajicek 3 years ago
I was told by an orthopedic surgeon that my neck disc bulge was not causing my arm pain. When I questioned this statement, because it is contrary to every other doctor i have seen, he attacked me verbally. He said he could not operate on someone as fat as i am. He could refer me to get a gastric bypass. It was so out of no where. I was just there to get a consult to see if any of my issues were operational. I gave a poor review for him and he called me trying to apologize. He was trying to say that i misunderstood him. I told him i did not trust him or his judgement and believed he attacked me verbally when i questioned his medical opinion. I did not back down and he was almost whining by the end trying to get me to take my review down. I also let the referring dr office know how he treated me and to please not send people there.
#37
Samantha Smith 3 years ago
Kidney stones should be easy to diagnose but one day a few years ago I was at work and had pain on my right side. Went to clinic and they told me I had appendicitis and had to go to the ER. I went to the ER and they tested me for everything under the sun. First came back that it wasn't appendix so had to be a burst ovarian cyst. Very painful ultrasound later and "you have a ton of cysts but they're all in tact". 8 hours later ... "You have a kidney stone".
#39
AspieGirl88 3 years ago (edited)
Same. I spent many years of my youth going to A&E with severe abdominal pain, sometimes screaming/bawling my eyes out … only to be told it was “just constipation” EVERY time, then sent home with paracetamol & laxatives they’d prescribe for infants/younger children (I was over 14). They never even suggested a colonoscopy, despite labelling me with constipation & noting that I was repeatedly coming to their hospital screaming in agony. Well, they regretted their continued negligence after the night of December 21st 2013. Same as before, except I wasn’t even crying out in pain (it worried my mum, as I was too “out of it”). I felt a blockage & when they checked my urine, it was black. They still sent me home with the same “it’s just constipation”, this time giving my mum a suppository. I was on life-support in a better hospital 24 hours later, fighting sepsis & then a ruptured bowel that could’ve been saved if they’d treated me sooner (& I wasn’t expected to survive at all, was in a coma for a whole 5 weeks & didn’t get home until April 2014, though it certainly wouldn’t be the last hospital treatment since then). The court case is still ongoing, but they now realise how badly they’ve screwed themselves, as I’m still suffering even now & I lost my lower right leg in September 2019 to a secondary infection from “Post-Sepsis Syndrome”. 🤷♀️😕
#40
A. 3 years ago
My sister got discriminated against because she was an alcoholic. She was told that if she stopped drinking all her health problems would go away. She went to the dermatologist about a spot on her back that was burning (it looked like a typical mole) & was dismissed. 6 months later she passed away from melanoma.
#41
#48
CanadianaKa 3 years ago
Oh! I know that one! Turned out that I drove 120km round-trip WITH A BROKEN HEEL and damaged achilles tendon for two months because the doc said "Enh. It's just a bruise." Finally the third time, when worker's comp was about to cut me off, they took the Xray *from a different angle" and the break was clear as day. 10 months of p/t did almost nothing, and when they wrote me off they offered me $500 as a reparation. Thankfully the WC judge disagreed, though what am I supposed to do with 2k to deal with life-long pain?
#58
Ozacoter 3 years ago
Definitely. At this point if the patient doesnt do the research and diagnose herself she wont get a treatment. The only way is to find what you might have, find which specialist might doagnose that illness, keep changing specialists until one listens and then maybe get a diagnosis and a treatment.
#76
RJ 3 years ago
Unpopular comment here: So when they were talking about body mass, they were mainly concerned with visceral fat. That's the fat that is attached directly to your organs. Heart, liver, lungs, kidneys, etc. Everyone has this. However, when you're obese (high Body Mass Index - BMI), the amount of fat on your organs prevents proper function. Hearts, liver, lungs, kidneys all have to work harder and are less effective and begin to fail. It vastly increases the dangers of surgery. Downvote me if you must, but I'm basing this on first-hand knowledge.
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NsG 3 years ago
Reading through this list I suddenly realised why US medicine adverts always say "ask your doctor about X", as if you, the patient are 100% responsible for all your medical care and needs, and doctors don't really do anything. And it's because you *are* and they *don't*! And I am so sorry.
Kate Jones 3 years ago
I'm extremely overweight and logically and rationally I understand that my weight can cause a huge number of issues. I also understand that doctor's are like every other profession-- mistakes can be made. But one of the things I saw here over and over is this idea that they can't test because of your weight. One woman said 'they can't test by palpitation...'. Well can't they do scans or ultrasounds? It's my health insurance so it's not like I'm not paying for it (honestly that shouldn't even be an issue but I'm trying to figure out why they don't want to do this). I don't go to doctor's anymore because I just feel like I could have a car accident and a broken arm and they'd tell me it's because of my weight. I just wish they'd at least review other options. Like, 'we can't detect anything by palpitation because of your weight, but lets schedule an ultrasound and see if we can see anything.' Instead of it being like 'we don't want to waste our resources on you because you're fat.'
Pizzagirl 91 3 years ago
Exactly. I get it when it's surgery, because that's invasive and you should (according to all doctors I know) always consider non-invasive steps before going in for surgery, and losing weight is one of those steps. However, there are still tests that can be run etc., so I don't know why they don't do those...
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Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago (edited)
These types of stories are all too common. I am so fortunate to have found a fantastic Dr that understands why I have so many issues that impact my weight. I have regular blood tests, specialist appts and am monitored regularly. There are so many health issues that cause weight problems. Too bad many drs don't seem to understand that.
Blue 3 years ago
exactly. it's a very real challenge to find a good doctor who truly cares. I'm glad you found yours :)
Load More Replies... NsG 3 years ago
Reading through this list I suddenly realised why US medicine adverts always say "ask your doctor about X", as if you, the patient are 100% responsible for all your medical care and needs, and doctors don't really do anything. And it's because you *are* and they *don't*! And I am so sorry.
Kate Jones 3 years ago
I'm extremely overweight and logically and rationally I understand that my weight can cause a huge number of issues. I also understand that doctor's are like every other profession-- mistakes can be made. But one of the things I saw here over and over is this idea that they can't test because of your weight. One woman said 'they can't test by palpitation...'. Well can't they do scans or ultrasounds? It's my health insurance so it's not like I'm not paying for it (honestly that shouldn't even be an issue but I'm trying to figure out why they don't want to do this). I don't go to doctor's anymore because I just feel like I could have a car accident and a broken arm and they'd tell me it's because of my weight. I just wish they'd at least review other options. Like, 'we can't detect anything by palpitation because of your weight, but lets schedule an ultrasound and see if we can see anything.' Instead of it being like 'we don't want to waste our resources on you because you're fat.'
Pizzagirl 91 3 years ago
Exactly. I get it when it's surgery, because that's invasive and you should (according to all doctors I know) always consider non-invasive steps before going in for surgery, and losing weight is one of those steps. However, there are still tests that can be run etc., so I don't know why they don't do those...
Load More Replies... Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago (edited)
These types of stories are all too common. I am so fortunate to have found a fantastic Dr that understands why I have so many issues that impact my weight. I have regular blood tests, specialist appts and am monitored regularly. There are so many health issues that cause weight problems. Too bad many drs don't seem to understand that.
Blue 3 years ago
exactly. it's a very real challenge to find a good doctor who truly cares. I'm glad you found yours :)
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