30 Outdated Parenting Myths That Too Many People Still Take For Fact

ALLL of this. The last one is especially annoying. I have been a single dad with 100% custody. Fed kids healthy food and clothed the kids with fresh clothes everyday. I met their emotional needs for two parents worth. Worked full time. I was present and we had some fun times too. The Father's Day shtick about dads being useless needs to go. Its 2023, a Dad's role has changed. I'm not saying we should be appreciated like single mothers or even mothers who do all the work, I'm just asking for less ridicule.

Bingo !

My idiot of a FIL told me that my SIX WEEK old baby was manipulating me when she cried! Ummm, nope.... She wants her mom, comfort and food. The basics for a baby to survive. I was so mad at him

My dad had a rule that you had to try three bites and if you still didn’t like it, you didn’t have to eat it ever again. Then the poor guy got remarried and the new rule was to finish your plate or sit at that table until the next meal and you don’t get the next meal. They quickly learned that I’m way more stubborn than they ever will be and I’m perfectly fine skipping a meal.

The “correctly addressed” part is SO important and SO many adults blow it off.

My FIL was forced to eat everything, even things he was severely allergic to. His parents thought he was just being dramatic if he broke out in hives or became nauseous and threw up. He never outgrew his allergies to certain foods. He doesn't go near those foods now as an adult. Having to continually ate what he was allergic to did not make him non allergic.

Could someone tell this to my MIL?

This is illegal in many countries for good reason.

My dad was fond of hitting us with his thick leather belt or a backhand slap across the face. It taught me that he was a violent, stupid man who couldn't control his temper, nor figure out how to discipline a child without hurting them. It also taught me that the person who was supposed to protect, love and teach me was capable of none of those things.

I had a man compliment me on how well-behaved my children were acting in public. He said I must really "lay down the law" for them, suggesting that I'm a strict parent. The truth is, I'm a pretty laid back parent. I really only have a handful of rules that I don't bend or break, and they're exclusively related to their health and safety. I've never spanked my kids. I just treat them like people and COMMUNICATE with them about why we do things a certain way. It's really not complicated.

Well they may be 'fine' in their own minds, for values of 'fine' that include believing that it's OK to hit a child. As in, no, you didn't actually turn out 'fine'.

Spanking your kids means you are teaching them when an adult is so angry they can hit you. Instead of you know teaching them how to work through anger and communicate..

Maybe some people turn out fine, and some don't, and some struggle their whole lives without realising that a big part of their anxiety and people-pleasing is due to the repeated and often inconsistant or unfairly administered corporal punishment. Parents who spank, in my observation, are more likely to do so when they are overwhelmed or stressed, so behaviour that earns mild verbal rebuke on one occasion gets a hiding on another. Parents will also sometimes spank one child under the belief that "punish one, the rest behave better" or punish all "I don't care who started it!" The physical injury may be trivial but when the punishment is experienced as being unfair or unpredictable, it can be a significant stressor for a child - the same way prolonged domestic abuse can damage an adult.

I spanked my kid once and he started bawling and said where's my daddy I want my daddy back, never spanked him again.

exactly my (narcissist) father. he always tells it with great pride how he did it. I didn't turn out that great. Lot of issues. Strange that I don't want to contact him anymore...

In general, I absolutely agree. However....slapping a child's hand from touching something hot? Absolutely, primarily if they are too young to "reason" with. I am sure there are other examples of this kind of "discipline". But no, corporal punishment is not needed (or called for) once a child can communicate and reason.

I started out parenting in the spanking camp. I was discipled that way as a kid and I believed that bad actions need consequences, like training a dog. Slowly realized that kids aren't dogs. That there is two sides to every story no matter how it played out, we all need to be heard to address the underlining problem. Also, if I teach my kids that violence = control, guess what happens.... Unfortunately, I learned too late and I'm trying to undo some of the damage. My kids are happy and healthy but they sometimes use force to get their way.

Spare the rod, spoil the child!

Man when I was a kid parents could give permission for kids to get spanked at school if they got in really big trouble. My mom never did.

my dad threatened my (I think 8-ish at the time) year old brother with a giant wooden paddle, and my brother was physically punished for a while(idk why tho)

Children should be taught there WILL be consequences somehow, so don't let it escalate to spanking. Don't test your limits!

Well, to tell you the truth, once you got spanked, you pretty much didn't do it again.

Yeah, my husband's thought is always "how do you know?". Both punishments *and* rewards skew terribly what the child is learning. Instead of learning to be kind, thoughtful, careful etc they are learning to do whatever it takes to avoid punishment or gain a reward. And if no one's watching nothing counts.

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🙄 a swat on the rear isn't going to damage a kid. They need to fear the consequences of bad actions. I work in the school system and I can tell you which kids are going to end up in jail as adults. The well rounded, well behaved & polite kids get a swat at home when they step out of line. The serial killers in the making have parents who follow the "Don’t tell them no" method of "parenting" 🙄🙄. You want to talk about where entitled karens, thieves, disrespectful adults come from, it's from the ones being raised with the no consequences, hands off c**p.

Think about what it was like in school learning a new language. You could understand way, way more than you could speak. There will be some non-verbal children and adults who don't understand, but the vast majority will comprehend.

Anti-anxiety meds were a lifesaver for me. I had no idea how bad my baseline anxiety actually was until it was removed… it was amazing. Like being able to breathe for the first time. If your kids need it, you should medicate them!

I wouldn't say "wake them up" but mine would nap in front of the TV, out and about, I vacuumed around him... he can sleep anywhere now.

Or hold a marriage together… That’s always a mistake

It’s the “I turned out fine” crowd. As someone who’s lived in conservative communities all my life, conservative philosophy effectively says that shít must always flow downhill, and if you catch that shìt then you’re supposed to be fine or else you’re a lazy whiner. And then once you’ve climbed up the hill a little, you get to shït downhill too.

As a dad of a son and a daughter, I think neither is more difficult than the other.

But why is it bad? Why shouldn't children be taught or strongly encouraged to share?

I thought I would fall in love with our baby as soon as I found out my wife was pregnant. It didn't happen. I then thought I would feel like a Dad as soon as he was born. Again (to my disappointment), that didn't happen. Fortunately, it wasn't long before I felt like a Dad, but I can confirm the instincts aren't always there.

Up until age 3 there brain is creating many new brain waves and developing (like 25-75%), a lot of the damage is done (when parents neglect and don’t respond to their children) before then and connections can never be reformed. The book the nurture revolution explains it best, so it’s beyond newborn forth trimester too!

I've seen it happen that some people just cannot really love one child but love another. Those people did their utmost to never let that child know or find out. OP's mother was a jerk.

Thanks Andrew Wakefield and Jenny McCarthy

Wtf? That's child abuse!

Who TF thinks this?

Literally never heard this nonsense

"you're too young to be depressed" Is something teens here all too often.

Yeah, I hate that some people still try and use such büllshït to emotionally blackmail those who choose to be childless. No, I will never regret it.

They got told they’re supposed to be fine and they don’t want to look like whiners. I want to hire Maggie Gyllenhaal to reprise her character from Mona Lisa Smile https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RtxJV3zszaE&t=135s&pp=ygUVbW9uYSBsaXNhIHNtaWxlIGZpZ2h0

My parents were in a bad marriage they were staying in for "the sake of the kids". My brother and I finally had enough and at 10 & 15 WE told them to just end it because WE couldn't take it anymore. They did and tho it wasn't a bed of roses for either of us afterward it was CALMER and more stable.

My 12 year old sister is allergic to eggs, peanuts, turkey, and chicken. Like, carry an epi pen allergic.

Should be top of this list. Of all the myths here this is the one that is still apparently believed by most people.

It's easy to parent one child well and think you've cracked the secret. Then you have another and discover that children are all different and you have to change what you're doing. No one knows what they're doing because no one CAN..

This may explain why kids throw tantrums, but that's not the same as saying that they do not throw them at all.