50 Pizza Crimes That Are Way Worse Than Pineapple On Pizza

Pizza is the most popular food in the world, with people consuming about 5 billion pizzas around the globe every year. Some of the classic flavors are margherita, pepperoni, veggie, and the controversial Hawaiian, but there are some toppings and styles that we can all agree are just wrong. Well, most of us can agree. That’s where the Pizza Crimes subreddit comes in. This group, which was created in December 2018, has already amassed an impressive 222k “jury members” who are dedicated to locking up all of the “bad guys” when it comes to pizza pies. 

Some common topics that come up in Pizza Crimes are Malformed, Cursed, Fruit, Dropped, Mistreated, Meme, Identity theft and Satire (that one gives me hope). But I’ll warn you pandas right now, you’re in for a wild ride as you make your way through this list. If you’re Italian, I recommend exiting the crime zone immediately, because it might be far too painful for you to witness. And if you’re simply a pizza aficionado, I apologize in advance. These crimes aren’t easy to see, but together, we can advocate for better and less offensive pizzas around the globe. After all, we all deserve to enjoy a delicious, crime-free slice.    

Now, in no way am I a purist when it comes to many foods. I’m open to experimenting, and I never like to shame others for their culinary choices. Even I’ve enjoyed pineapple on pizza on a rare occasion! But when it comes to pickles, bananas, curry, kebab sauce, and some of the other unique creations featured on this list, I’ve gotta say, the “chefs” in question have lost me. Lock ‘em up, boys. There’s a reason why pizza is the world’s favorite food, and by butchering its beloved name and removing the sauce or adding ingredients like french fries and kiwi, we tarnish its reputation. We can’t have people thinking that all pizzas are like these atrocities!

Some of the photos on this list come down to irresponsible cooks who left their pies in the oven far too long or mishaps made when ordering that led to essentially just bread with meat being delivered. But that doesn’t excuse these crimes. Pizza is one of the most perfect foods because it's simple, customizable and convenient, but it can also be incredibly delicious when prepared in the proper oven. It can even bring people together. I make pizza at home with my partner every single Sunday evening, and we always look forward to it. It’s a great time to bond in the kitchen, as most nights only one of us is preparing the meal, and we have delicious leftovers for days to come.

Everyone has their own pizza preferences, and that’s totally fine. Personally, I’m vegan, so I’m going to opt for vegan cheese and veggies rather than meat on top. And my absolute favorite pizzas are those featuring mushrooms and truffles or truffle oil. Delicious! However, there are certain pizza toppings that some love and others despise. The first time I saw my partner put pickles, tuna and corn on his pizza, I was a bit horrified, but I bit my tongue. According to the Australian site Taste.com, some of the most controversial pizza toppings among their readers are pepperoni, tandoori chicken, anchovies, anything sweet, olives, arugula, seafood, eggs, and pumpkin.    

When it comes to arguably the most widely debated pizza topping of all time, pineapple, you might be surprised to learn that the Hawaiian pizza was actually conceived in Canada. Stephen Dowling and Richard Gray at the BBC dove into the history of Hawaiian pizza last year, explaining that the idea came from Sam Panopoulos, a Greek immigrant living in Ontario, in the 1960s. Panopoulos was running a restaurant with his brothers, and one day, he was inspired to combine ham and pineapple on pizza as an homage to the sweet and salty combination of American-Chinese dishes that pair pork and pineapple.  

Since then, the creation of Hawaiian pizza has spread around the globe, although it’s still widely considered a pizza crime in Italy. "I guess you might call it a fusion food, before the term became popular. And, of course, sweet is the most-liked taste, so it is an easy win in that sense," Charles Spence, an experimental psychologist who studies how our different senses affect our experience of food at the University of Oxford, told the BBC. There’s no doubt that this combination has sparked many debates in the decades since its creation, though. In fact, in 2017, the president of Iceland declared to an audience of school children that he would ban it in his country if he could. Something tells me he would be a fan of Pizza Crimes!

According to Mashed, some of the most hated pizza toppings are pineapple, barbecue sauce, spinach, eggs, broccoli, raw tomatoes, olives, anchovies, mushrooms, clams, shrimp, canned tuna, chicken, avocado, kale, ranch dressing, corn, raw onions, and anything that turns pizza into a dessert. Now, this is a very diverse list, including some extremely popular toppings, like olives and mushrooms, and some quite controversial ones, such as anchovies and clams. But I can see how ranch dressing would be a hated topping. This dairy-based sauce is often used to dip pizzas or pizza crust into in the United States, but Mashed notes that it may curdle in the oven, causing a terrible pizza crime. 

Avocado is another uncommon pizza topping that many might consider a crime. “Pizza crust doesn't have much flavor on its own, so it needs things like sauce and toppings to provide pizza's characteristic flavor. That totally works when you add marinara sauce, pesto, or Alfredo and any number of pizza toppings, but avocado doesn't contribute much flavor on its own,” Molly Allen at Mashable writes. “Without salt and flavorings like garlic or onion, an avocado doesn't taste like much. Put it on a pizza, and what does it add? Just a buttery texture. Plus, avocado gets weird and slimy when it's heated. All in all, we're going to say thanks, but no thanks.”

Eggs are another controversial pizza topping that some swear by, while others would send chefs who use eggs on their pizzas straight to the pizza penitentiary. “According to Woman's Day, putting an egg on top of a pie is ridiculously popular in France, and it's gaining in popularity elsewhere, whether an egg is actually cracked on top of the pizza before putting it in the oven, or the egg is fried and then added on later,” Allen explains. “Either way, the eggs are usually runny, with the yolk adding to both the taste and texture of the pizza. [However], Louis Bron, a New York City pizza chef and consultant, told The Independent that he believes eggs don't belong on pizza or flatbread. This doesn't seem to be a debate people are settling just yet. For now, we suppose it all just comes down to whether you enjoy it or not.”

Are you craving pizza after viewing these photos, pandas? Or are you too horrified to even have an appetite right now? We hope we haven’t scarred you for life; if you have the strength, keep upvoting the pizzas that you’d like to see locked up behind bars. Let us know in the comments below what the worst pizza crime you’ve ever witnessed was, and then if you’re interested in checking out another Bored Panda article featuring atrocities committed against foods, look no further than right here!