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30 Of The Cruelest Things Parents Have Ever Told Their Kids That Stuck With Them For Life
Some things we just cannot forget. Like harsh words from the people we want to impress most—our parents.
On May 3rd, assistant professor at Stockton University Emily Van Duyne tweeted a question: "Does anyone else ever remember a cruel thing your parent said to you [and] it takes the wind out of you? Even if it was almost ten years ago?" Turns out, they do.
Emily's tweet has received over 200,000 likes and plenty of comments where people revealed their parents' mean phrases that will probably stick with them for life, and the thread has become like a giant online mental health session.
"I want you all to know I am sorting through and reading and thinking of and trying to respond individually to each of these stories," Van Duyne wrote as the responses kept pouring in. "I'm making pasta and reminding myself to be tender with my kids and tender with myself, as much as humanly possible, always. Please do the same."
Continue scrolling and check out some of our hand-picked confessions. Sometimes, seeing other people vulnerable is all you need to uncover and deal with your own crap.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Dash Blue 4 years ago
I hope that you shove your success in your fathers face, and never let him meet his grandchildren. Okay. A bit harsh.
LittleMissPanda 4 years ago
You can use the same words once he gets old and will ask for your financial help...
Lex 3 years ago
What would be the point, though, in holding a grudge for life? That would accomplish nothing, and OP achieved their goal. Might as well just move on from it.
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Persephone 4 years ago
After struggling with ADHD for 30 years, and being told it wasn't real and "I just needed to be more like everyone else/ it was my own fault and I needed more discipline", I feel your pain; I FINALLY got adequate access to the health care I needed my entire life one year ago... My parents get it now, but it was a hard, unsupported battle I had to fight completely alone. It left me open to being taken advantage of by others, and facing inevitable burn out and failure for many years; thus confirming dismal expectations of being a F*** up, when all I ever needed was access to treatment.
Womaninsky Kasinsky 4 years ago
Why be a parent if you cannot encourage your children no matter their age? His father disgusts me and I wish his son the best in life!!!
StrawberryParfait 4 years ago
When I graduated from university with my bachelor's degree, I was told I could have a present from my parents. I asked my mom for some diamond stud earrings, which my parents could well afford. Just small studs, nothing ridiculous, but something I could have to remember my accomplishment always. She said "Diamond earrings? It's only your bachelor degree!" I was so crushed by that comment, I burst into tears on the spot. My dad heard the commotion, came running into the room and asked what happened. I told him what my mom said, and he was PISSED. He gave me a check for 1000$ on the spot. I can't remember what I spent the money on, but I didn't get the earrings. I didn't feel the same way about them after what my mom said. I did buy myself a nice little pair, about 20 years later for my birthday.
RELATED:
#2
Christy Smith 4 years ago
The word you're looking for is 'c**t', his mother was a c**t.
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deanna woods 4 years ago
Oh my God. Why would anyone tell a four year old something like that. Children are a gift and need to be loved like one.
#3
Raine Soo 4 years ago
How often have people said: You could be so pretty if you just lost the weight.
Bow, I’m a Slytherin 4 years ago
I was told ‘I kinda wish you had an eating disorder, then you’d be skinny’ - Sir, that is not always how eating disorders work. They are not all about ‘being skinny’.
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Martha Meyer 4 years ago
Wow, I don't think I'd let this dad see his grandkids without supervision. Who knows what he might say to them.
TiaMa 4 years ago
I'm fat. Only this year I started to do something about it and recently I told my mom about it and that I lost 20 kg (44 pounds) in the past few moths. She asked whether my colleagues were commenting on it. I said no, why would they. She said "Well that would be something if they do." My grandma wasn't much better. "Oh so you don't have 3 chins anymore? Or how many did you have, 2?"
TV Junkie 4 years ago
When I was young, I was tall and thin but curvy, and I got a lot of attention. Once I gained weight, I immediately turned invisible. I am a perfect example of the fact that looks are the most important thing, and it's really sad. I am now divorced, educated, a good mom of twins, with a great sense of humor and an easygoing personality (and a pretty face, if I do say myself), with a house that is paid for, excellent credit, no credit card debt, and a full time job. But I feel like I will be single for the rest of my life because I am overweight. I have become OK with that, because I have great friends and family and a magnificent support system, but it makes me sad to know that people literally don't care about anything else. Sigh...
Joy 4 years ago
At point in time, I ballooned to 155 kg (342 lbs). I was so huge, I couldn't live with myself anymore. I decided to do something about it. I began to do something about it and as of today, I've managed to get to the low 90 kgs (200's lbs). Sure, I'm about 18-20 kg (40-45 lbs) away to where I need to be. I will do my best to always stay within that weight. Skinny is the most important thing in the world for a woman. A woman can have all the money, degrees, talent, property...have it all, but if she isn't skinny, she might be a destitute hobo. I'm not the one saying this: it's society.
Load More Replies... Nat Hedley 4 years ago (edited)
13 year old me was overweight and told my mother I wanted to go to a slimming club. She looked me up and down and said, 'Well, you'll never be slim, but I suppose you could get *some* of it off.' I'd like to say she meant well, but I really don't think she did.
CatWoman312 4 years ago
I cut off my grandma for the same reason. She talked about my weight every time I saw her yet when I was a kid and she often watched me she would let me eat ice cream everyday.
Dawn Sardella-Ayres 4 years ago
I always loved it when my fat-ass father would say this kind of crap. Because it was okay if HE was fat, but I was a girl/woman, and had to be skinny and attractive.
StrawberryParfait 4 years ago
Never understood this view. There are as many gorgeous larger women as there are gorgeous thinner women. Beautiful features are beautiful features, as are sparkling eyes, full smiles, and warm personalities. Those things can take a woman from pretty to absolutely stunning, and size has nothing to do with it.
According to Jessie-Anne Bird, a psychologist from Johannesburg, South Africa, we can be deeply wounded by the words of others. "If we are not careful, we can react in a way that may escalate things unnecessarily," Bird told Bored Panda.
Instead, the psychologist suggested we use the STOP technique, and it looks like this:
S: Stop. Wait before you react.
T: Take a step back - give yourself some time and space from the situation.
O: Observe what's going on inside and outside. Become aware of your thoughts and feelings, think about how they may be impacting your decision-making.
P: Proceed mindfully - once you have an understanding of what is happening, and have thought through your options - then you will be in a position to make a choice about how to respond or react.
#4
crazy_cat_notAlady 4 years ago
yes. the opp happened to me though. dad was sick for years (cancer). did everything I could and I couldn't. dropped out of a Ph.D. program to get a stable job to support his treatment and family costs. waited for years to hear him say for once that he was proud of me. never said anything...now it's too late. sometimes I wonder if I would view my life and career choices differently had he been actually proud of me, or if he cared.
Iggy 4 years ago
I think Furious George is right. He was but couldn't say it. Part of toxic masculinity was men not being allowed to express themselves emotionally and this was probably what it was. It has to be because any parent would be proud of you.
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Spring Fisk 4 years ago
Did her life leading up to that point reflect this statement or was it completely out of character? If it was out of character then it was definitely drugs, pain, her body shutting down or even dementia. A lot of times people with dementia develop different personalities and it is like they were no longer them selves. My grandma was a saint all of her life and right before she died she started seeing things like the room being on fire and started saying she could not trust her kids. It was not her personality to have said that, i know it was a combination of drugs, dementia and the like.
diarykeeper 4 years ago
She was ashamed of herself and projecting. Probably the same person that asks the kid to take piano lesson, cause they themselves failed. There should be a book called "what your parent really meant" *write that down, write that down!*
Lou 4 years ago
I know what you mean. A few minutes before my dad died, I tried to turn him in his bed to clean him because he was bleeding. He screamed "Eat s**t!". A few minutes later he died. I know he loved me and that he was in pain. Still, these are the last words my father said to me.
Auntriarch 4 years ago
True. Before she died my grandmother started swearing and saying things she would have died to hear. Changes in the brain prior to death are cataclysmic.
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Leslie Burleson 4 years ago
Oh honey . At the end their minds aren't there very much . My mom said all kinds of crazy stuff . She didn't even remember me a few times. We've always been close and I took care of her the last 10 years of her life . They have something called ICU dementia and hospital dementia that happens near the end . Sometimes the CO2 levels in their blood build up and can cause temporary or lasting dementia . She didn't mean it.
Rannveig Ess 4 years ago
My stepdad, who adopted me when I was 2 (so he was "dad" to me) told me on his deathbed that the reason he didn't like me and we'd never gotten along was because "we were just too much alike". I was so enraged I just frose. He was dying, and it's not the time to rip him a new one but wow....just wow. He was an abusive, bi-polar, infantile, raging ass who no one could stand. I used him as an example of what not to be, not to act like and not to treat people like as I grew up. I wasn't so much hurt by this as I felt sorry for him that he was such a trite little man. @ Jacob Frey - don't let it stick in your head and effect you. Most people, on their death beds, have regrets and apologies and amends they need to make to feel worthy. Others just make the same accusations and excuses. It means nothing. Go prove the hurtful judgments wrong by being happy.
Gail Oppy-Farrar 4 years ago
truthfully in my experience, she probably wasn't even talking to you - probably someone else but unfortunately you happened to be there - I doubt she was ashamed of you :)
#5
crazy_cat_notAlady 4 years ago
hey. u r beautiful. words can b harsh, but they can never strip u off ur beauty. glad u have found a good therapist. hope u continue to see the beauty of life and ur beauty too
Wouliwas Shookspear 4 years ago (edited)
Thank you crazy cat for being so kind and thoughtful to deliver this message. Everyone should get kind words words when they need it! Keep being awesome and doing stuff like this, I will do it to!
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StrawberryParfait 4 years ago
Your mom was projecting. This is how she felt about herself. I'm sorry she lied to you in this way. So cruel.
Debbie Burton 4 years ago
My mother told my then 2yr old daughter to get off her because she was ugly. My daughter said 'That is silly, my daddy says I am beautiful!' :)
LITTLE ROBBIN 4 years ago
I was told this by an elementary bully for almost 4 years. It has greatly affected me to this day. I hope sender is better now.
Demongrrrrl 4 years ago
"Really? Everybody tells me I look just like you."
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diarykeeper 4 years ago
I recall an article that claimed the usual /parent child/ bonding sometimes doesn't occur. Yet still thats an insane and erratic statement.
#6
StrawberryParfait 4 years ago
I hope he no longer has access to you or your daughter. This man is an abuser.
Roman Hans 4 years ago (edited)
It’s sad that people need to be reminded: your family is supposed to be nicer than strangers. They know you, they love you, they’re going to be in your life forever, so they treat you BETTER. You wouldn’t let a stranger abuse you, so if a relative does then you need to cut them out of your life.
Miss Frankfurter 4 years ago
He dad! See that front door? That's the door you leave through right now! And it's also a door through which you will ever enter this house again.
Experts associate parent-child connectedness with a wide range of health indicators. Close, positive family relationships that feature open communication help young people stay healthy and avoid substance use and violent behavior.
"We tend to use the perceptions of others to inform our self-view, and we might place more importance on the feedback we receive from those we value," Bird said. "When we hear hurtful things from those we love or esteem - they may hurt more because we are more likely to believe them."
#7
TheCatasaurusMeowMom 4 years ago
No s**t! I am SO sorry that this happened to you! <3
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Dylan_Is_Gay 4 years ago
This isn't bad parenting. This isn't even parenting. This is mental abuse from a baby in an adults body. This thing doesn't deserve you. That's a f*****g bastard. Conditional love isn't love.
Carol Emory 4 years ago
The sad part is, if you had called CPS back in 2015, chances are, your Dad would have been charged with child abandonment and/or child abuse. I have always wanted to have a large house with lots of rooms to take in the kids that parents like these toss out. These parents have no idea what wonderful things these kids can accomplish and what amazing people they are. They really miss out.
crazy_cat_notAlady 4 years ago
i'm so sorry this happened to u. i hope u go ahead and make tons of new memories, friends and click awesome photos. no one should b punished for their sexuality or gender identity. ❤️
StrawberryParfait 4 years ago
What kind of parent stops loving their child for being gay? Sexual orientation is not a choice.
#8
Mewton’s Third Paw 4 years ago
Yeah but that’s what they say to actually old people. She’ll be 32 which is still in the normal age range of going to law school. Your comment is more similar to the mother’s than to actual support.
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DramaDoc 4 years ago
I went back to grad school at 32 and got my PhD at 42. Dr. Brian May (guitarist for Queen) started his PhD in astrophysics in 1971, took a break to tour the world with his band (because ya know..) and finished his degree in 2007 at 60. Education does not have an "expiration date."
Mary Haynes 4 years ago
I heard in a soap opera--of all things---that's stuck with me. Someone was debating whether or not to go to Med school. They said but I'll be 40 when I graduate. the other person said but you'll be 40 anyway.
CARMEN FLORES 4 years ago
Go for it..When someone told Ann Landers the advice columnist that they were too old to go school and would be 42 when they finished, she said: and how old would you be if you didn't go to school? Don't let anything stop you.
Samantha PandaNotBored 4 years ago
If a 60yr old lady from the UK can do it, I’m sure you can too ! ( not me )
#9
deanna woods 4 years ago
Where in the hell are all these evil parents coming from. They are emotionally abusing their children.
Jon Steensen 1 year ago (edited)
I don't think that they are nessesarily evil, I just think it is a sign of gross incompetence (Hanlon's razor). Everyone is learning how to be a parent on the go, and mistakes are bound to be made as result. A bad choice of words can end up doing a lot of damage down the line.
Load More Replies... Wouliwas Shookspear 4 years ago
I’m so sorry that happened to you. Stay strong, words hurt but you can be stronger. I am not going to tell you that it’s fine and to just forget it, but try thinking of other amazing stuff you accomplished. If you need to, see a therapist. You are worthy of everything good in this world
TheCatasaurusMeowMom 4 years ago
You are loved, please believe that! Your friends and others who CHOOSE to be around you, LOVE you, and for a good reason--you are who you are, and you should be PROUD. I know it hurts, and will continue to hurt for a (maybe long) while, but it will get better/easier. You have value. You are loved. You are YOU, and there is no one else out there like YOU.<3
Auntriarch 4 years ago
What kind of a parent would use the terms evil and twisted about a 13 year old. Tells you all you need to know.
Margaret Martin 4 years ago (edited)
My "Bio" would always say to fellow workers, customers & Doctors at Hospitals after HE hurt me (various "accidents" on jobs I was too young to be on OR doing)- "Don't worry she'll be fine... it's NOT like she's the PRETTY one." Another gem of his- was to slap me in the back of the head "Gibb's Style" & say; "Pay ATTENTION! You're NOT the pretty one- so you'll need to learn how to fix things to take care of yourself!" He died years ago but the physical scars keep reminding me- so still trying to cope.
Imi Lo, a psychotherapist, art therapist, and consultant for emotionally intense and highly sensitive people, thinks the relationship between a child and a parent is one of the most instinctively protective, loving, and nurturing things humans experience. So when such a connection is clouded with feelings of deep hurt and resentment, these negative emotions can follow people beyond childhood and adolescence into adulthood.
"At the end of the day, you want to be able to cross over the bridge of resentment and move to a place of peace," Lo wrote in Psychology Today. "But however cliche this sounds, you need first to love yourself, embracing both the good and the bad, your ability to love, and your rage towards others. You must forgive yourself for your inability to forgive. You are a survivor for being here today. You deserve to live without emotional baggage."
If what you do grows into a deep sense of love for your parents, then the journey would have been worth it. If not, at least you know that you tried, and you will have no regrets.
#10
Sheila Stamey 4 years ago
Honey, if you were mine, ( and my daughter published her first poem this year) I would have bought seventeen copies, because that's all they had left, framed copies of it, and COMPLETELY ANNOYED EVERYONE with the news. So for her sake and yours, look people, Courtney is my daughter, she published a poem and it's ridiculously GREAT STUFF! ( They don't publish them otherwise) and she's is an AWESOME freaking person!!!!!!! Unfortunately, her other mom can be a witch, but hey, whatever.
Iggy 4 years ago
Congratulations to you too on having such a talented daughter! Her success is your success, which you clearly know. It's a pity her other mother is missing out on that joy.
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Iggy 4 years ago
I really think that could be jealousy. Getting published is a big deal (congratulations!). Some parents can't handle their children doing better in life than they have.
Tami 4 years ago
So true. You'd think they'd be proud, but some parents just aren't.
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Sweet Happiness 4 years ago
Similar. My master’s thesis got published and there was a dedication “to my dear mother etc”. I gave her a copy. She said she wasn’t going to read it and will probably just throw it out anyway so I can just take it back. I knew she couldn’t read it or understand it, but that was not the point. I would never say that to my daughter. I keep all sorts of art that she makes.
Aubrey Oleandereie 4 years ago
Oh I got the feeling. Was top of our class, recited poems every year on state level competitions, my parents never came. Wanted to be writer, was our language /literatures teacher's pet, but my father told me as six year old to my six pages story he wouldn't pay a dime for it, 'cos it got grammar errors. I lost any ambitions to achieve a carrier in the field and it hurts till this day. My sister believe the earth is flat (no joking) and my father still loves her more. 🤷♀️
Miss Cris 4 years ago
I'm sorry. You van write now. You're now an adult and you don"t need anyone's permission anymore. We pandas are supporting you.
Load More Replies... Womaninsky Kasinsky 4 years ago
But why? My heart cries for these broken hearts. Some things I’ve never understood.
Bobert Robertson 4 years ago
As a parent I would never HAVE to read it again, because I would memorize it like I wrote it myself
deanna woods 4 years ago
I color fuzz posters and I have done several for my family. My mother has all the ones I did for her and my dad hanging in their bedroom. She encourages me.
#11
Aamna Shah 4 years ago
This is quite commonly said by parents to clear their conscience and they reduce the regular abuse to 'just a few bad incidents.'
Bettie-Jean Neal 4 years ago
Sounds like it'd go with what my mom said to me, "I'm your mother and can do to you whatever I want."
Tame panda 4 years ago (edited)
Reply to her by leaving her forever and not letting her see her grandkids(if you have kids).
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Thenatural 4 years ago
This is dark..really dark...is this a father attempting to 'play down' the abuse he has subjected his child to? Or a mother trying to dismiss a child's account of abuse at the hands of another family member? Really disturbing this one.
StrawberryParfait 4 years ago
Gaslighitng. You know what abuse feels like. No one needs to verify your own lived experiences for you. You know.
#12
Raine Soo 4 years ago
Have you noticed how parents will utter any stupidity because they can't manage their own stress and will take it out on their children because no one else is around to hear them rant?
Jaime 4 years ago
Yeah, but usually it’s not just because of that. Taking out their stress on their children is definitely a bigger problem.
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Miss Frankfurter 4 years ago
I bet everything else that was crappy in her life was your fault too. News flash lady! It's all on you. All the crap stuff she said to you were ALL lies. They try to make you confused about what is true. Don't be confused. None of that crap was true. I hope and pray you can know this right down in your soul.
Bernardita Valdés 4 years ago (edited)
Playin with cancer and using it to insult your daughter, i mean... thats basically calling for cancer. Dont come looking for compassion later, horrible mom.
#13
deanna woods 4 years ago
This is not a parent this is an abuser. Your mom was awful for letting drugs be more important than her child.
MyCatsTheRealPanda 4 years ago
And her dad? Her mom had an addiction, which is no excuse but some insight. Sounds like her dad was just an asshole.
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AzKhaleesi 4 years ago
This one makes me sick to my stomach. Girl come to my house I'll give you all the pickles you want, you and my daughter would be best friends. As a parent I want to tie your sperm / egg donor up (they're not parents) and cover them in papercuts and then pour pickle juice on them. F**k them. As a parent I can't tell you how many meals I skipped just so my kids could eat when I was struggling.
Spring Fisk 4 years ago
Tat, I am so sorry that your parents acted so terribly. There is something very wrong with your father for ever saying anything like that to a child. No child is cursed. He must have been dealing with demons of his own to want to pick on you and take it out on you like he did. If you have not already seek out a councilor that can help you identify his lies and help you identify the truths about yourself. Seek out friends that respect you and want that best for you.
sam puckett 4 years ago
You shouldn't have to tolerate such rude people. I feel bad you went through that and again you shouldnt have tolerated that(no offense.)
Cheryl Fontaine 4 years ago
I'm so sorry you had that kind of young life... I hope you are being able to recover from that.
Stephanie IV 4 years ago
Addiction makes people crazy. They could not see your worth. That makes them blind - because you are worthy. You are worthy of love, your are worthy of respect and tenderness and worthy somebody making time for you. I hope you learn to know that, deep inside of you. You are worthy.
Auntriarch 4 years ago
Your parents clearly have a lot of toys in the attic. None of which excuses their behaviour to you. Love and respect to you, and all the pickles you could ever want
#14
Prilsy 4 years ago
That's gaslighting and my father did it all the time to me. Still does and I'm almost 50.
Jaime 4 years ago
Mine too! It’s not fun. It’s awfully scary sometimes, not being sure that you did something even though you knew you did it. Like maybe you’re just remembering wrong or saying it just for attention or something...
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Deanna Crichley 4 years ago
My mom did this to me A LOT. As an adult, I still have difficulty sometimes trusting my own perception of reality.
CatWoman312 4 years ago
My mom has a horrible habit of conveniently forgetting how she psychologically abused me, so I understand the feeling.
Miss Cris 4 years ago (edited)
And finnally "but if it's true, I'm sure you deserved it, what did you do?"
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deanna woods 4 years ago
She does remember saying that, but she doesn't want to talk about it.
StrawberryParfait 4 years ago
They never seem to remember. More gaslighting! You know what you know. Don't let her tell you different.
#15
StrawberryParfait 4 years ago
I was once crying because my boyfriend was being unkind and stringing me along. My mom came in and said "He. Doesn't. WANT you". No comfort or advice. Just this.
Robin Childers 4 years ago
I had a similar thing happen at that age. I quit telling my parents anything. I had to learn to put on a happy face and find other ways to deal. I still have trouble talking to guys. I'm 37.
Karl Baxter 4 years ago
I think your Ma’s comment betrays how she was treated at that age. It sounds like the female version of the “Big boys don’t cry!” line that emotionally repressed fathers told their sons in similar situations.
Salma Hernández 4 years ago
Once my dad told me (Im in my 30s) that teen problems are serious and no one have to denigrate of be cruel only because for you, an adult is "nothing"
Mewton’s Third Paw 4 years ago
“No one have to denigrate of be cruel” what?
Load More Replies... sam puckett 4 years ago
When ur mom cries for something and tells you, say :thats it!? *laugh*
#16
deanna woods 4 years ago (edited)
Any parent who tells their child that they hate them does not deserve children and they deserve to be alone in a nursing home when they are older.
Potato Puffin 4 years ago
As a mum, I couldn't imagine saying that to my son. This hurt me to read and I'm sorry she said that x
Jessica Bertram 4 years ago
oh man. that kind of memory retention is so hard. My therapist uses EMDR, which reprograms our brains to handle our trauma events differently. If you are in therapy, consider this brach of cognitive behavioral therapy. It has been used for a while now successfully on soldiers returning with PTSD, and is good for old traumas too. All backed by scads of research and data. And it has brought a lot of peace to me and my strong memories of abuse. Hugs.
Deanna Crichley 4 years ago
I was married 9 days shy of a year, and my husband died suddenly. I was freaked. Like really. I jumped on his body, and tried to breathe into him. But he was dead. That was so frantic, and horrifying. Every time I thought of him dying, I was right back in the same place, frantic, and horrified. I couldn't stop. I had been in therapy before, and it was a great experience, so, I called her. I went in to see her, and she suggested EMDR. IT WAS FANTASTIC. In 3 sessions, the trauma was removed from the event. And I could eat again, and shower, and wash dishes.
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Steve Wilson 4 years ago
At least you have no reason to regret cutting her out of your life. When she’s old & needs your help you can ignore her with a clear conscience.
Julie 4 years ago
This is the one thing that happened to me too. It was about 45 years ago. I was super young like 5, I was being awful and she sent me to my room and said "oooh I hate you"...it was an arrow. I KNOW she didn't mean it, she was a night shift nurse and during the day had to take care of 5 kids, ages 8, 7, 6, 5 and 2. I know she was overwhelmed and I know she loves me very very much. But I still remember it and it hurts. We all need to be careful what we say in anger, even when we don't mean it...it can lead to life long scars.
#17
Kno 4 years ago
What sort of sick people did you have as parents? Good gods I hope you sre all right.
Laura 4 years ago
MIne did this too - Every Saturday afternoon, every drawer was dumped on the floor and everything in the closet was added to the pile. But my mother was looking for anything that she could punish me for. In all the years, she never found anything, and that pissed her off more and more.
deanna woods 4 years ago
I am so sorry that you had to go through that. No child deserves to be treated that way.
Daphne Williams 4 years ago
Was he in the military or something, and lacking any parental skills, decided to use the drill-sargent method?
#18
CatWoman312 4 years ago (edited)
She’s 9 dad. She’s playing soccer which involves a lot of running (assuming she’s not the goalie) so back off!
Debbie Burton 4 years ago
At 9 any weight issue is really the result of what the parents are or aren't doing....not the child
Margaret Martin 4 years ago
Had one of THOSE too. He died years ago but the physical scars & growing pains from old injuries keep reminding me- so... still trying to cope. Stay Strong.
L K 4 years ago
My dads friend told me once when I was 9 “you’re so pretty but so fat” and my dad agreed and started to make fun of me along with him. I chimed in “ at least I don’t have a beer belly” and I told his friend f**k off back to whatever country he came from. I got grounded but luckily this friend did f**k off back to his home country and I’ve never had to see him again since I was like 18!
Sabine Hahn 4 years ago
And there are truly people who feel sorry for parents who are left alone and abandoned in nursing homes. I suspect usually there is a reason for it.
Mewton’s Third Paw 4 years ago
It’s the parents fault she was fat in the first place so they shouldn’t be so bitchy to their own kid when they’re the ones who caused it.
#19
Raine Soo 4 years ago
People fail to realize that self-harming is a coping mechanism toward pain and anger. Mom made it worse by telling you should be ashamed of yourself. I hope that you were able to find the help you needed.
Lotus Flower 4 years ago
Agreed. I cut for a few yrs when things were at the peak of the physical/mental abuse from both parents and sexual abuse from a guy. After I turned my Dad into the State then got out of that city, I stopped cutting on my own. Took me yrs to put the cutting together with the abuse.
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Jo Johannsen 4 years ago
My mother's go-to punishment for me was a man's leather belt across the calves...so my friends and schoolmates could see the welts and know I had done something "bad". She did NOT do this to my siblings.
Nikki Sevven 4 years ago
When I discovered my daughter was self-harming, I immediately read everything I could find on the issue, and got her signed up for Dialectic Behavior Therapy. I supported her through two years of really hard work on her part, and she recovered fully. I can't imagine dismissing your own child hurting herself.
Katharine Lancaster 4 years ago
Just in case you haven’t heard this lately… You’re scars are beautiful. They say that you’ve walked through hell, fallen down repeatedly, and managed to get up each and every f*****g time. You are f*****g brave. Never let anyone take that from you. You survived your hell when so many others haven’t. You have my admiration!
Rebecca O’Donnell 4 years ago
Wish I could upvote this to the top of this list. That’s the most truthful statement I’ve heard in a very long time.
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sam puckett 4 years ago
Just go out and say: MY MOM MENTALLY ABUSES ME AND CAUSES ME TO PHYSICALLY ABUSE MYSELF AND ITS ALL MY MOMS FAULT SHE IS IN THE CORNER RIGHT THERE
Lotus Flower 4 years ago
Ah the martyr. I got one of those too! Aren’t they lovely?! Sorry.
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Myriah Fields 4 years ago
My step mom asked me with the biggest smile on her face "why don't you cut both arms and show everyone since you decided to do it?"
#20
Tami 4 years ago
My mom is like this. She doesn't say she doesn't care, but she shows it by not showing interest and changing the subject. Meanwhile, she can blather on for 30-40 minutes about the toast she had for breakfast or how she sat out in the sun for awhile.
AqualiaGuineaPiggyWolfCat 4 years ago
lol same. Why does my mum think i'm bothered about how the bins were stacked outside our house, when she doesn't care i finally worked out how to draw a decent-looking cat?
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Carol Emory 4 years ago
My mom did this too. My son is totally into anime...he will come out and jabber about it using names and places I've never heard of. I didn't tell him I wasn't interested. I just told him it was hard for me to follow because I didn't have the same passion for it that he did. All I asked of him was to give me a little background on the characters and story so I could be up to speed on understanding why he was so excited. Like fill me in dude...don't leave me hangin'. LOL
Craig McDonald 4 years ago
My partner of 13 years is exactly like this. If I could afford to, I'd leave and find someone who enjoys being with me.
Susan Egan 4 years ago
Okay I'm a mom that says things like that to my son, now that he's older. He's in his 20's and wants to talk to me about sports, specific games etc. He knows I'm not into sports, so I'll say "Hold it, sports? Go talk to your dad". "He's sleeping." "No, no you have to wait until he's up." "5 minutes just 5 minutes". We end up laughing but yes there are times when he wants to talk about something I have zero interest in and we will negotiate. I'll listen to anime if you'll listen to beekeeping.
LaBelle Nouveau Marsh 3 years ago
Hope No I Pray that you are surrounded by loving supportive people!
Tania Cervantes 3 years ago
I don't know people you're just way too harsh on parents, not all the people in your life need to have the same interests as you, and being hypocritical towards your children ain't a good idea either, They feed you, dress you, support you financially at least until you're 18. This seems like such a petty complaint, sorry.
Frank Lesko 3 years ago
I can relate. Literally every word or emotion that comes from me is instantly discounted, ignored, contradicted or outright criticized by my family growing up. It's not an exaggeration to say that I am not sure if I have ever completed a single sentence on the first try without being interrupted by my steam rolling mother. Then they complain I don't talk to them more and share more. When I'm with them, I stay on the side holding my proverbial breath until its over. Despite what they say, I think this is what they actually want from me--nothing.
Jacqueline Cornish 3 years ago
Ok - question. This is totally something I would say if my child was boring my pants off. But never about something emotional/important. Was this about something important? Or banal? I don't want to traumatize my kids!
#21
Raine Soo 4 years ago
When I was growing up, and even into my teens, family friends would say how pretty I was. My mother would say, "Nah, she's not." And, then start to list all my faults. I'd either walk away or stand there, rolling my eyes. So, yeah, I feel you.
Aunt Messy 4 years ago
My mother was gorgeous - as in magazine cover gorgeous. She never let me forget it.
LotusWolff 4 years ago (edited)
I thought your prof pic was a chicken 😳😳😳 now I’m hungry
Load More Replies... Jo Johannsen 4 years ago
My mother, who had to be pregnant to top 100 lbs, always reminded me how fat I was. I graduated high school at 135, not skinny but far from fat.
StrawberryParfait 4 years ago
She was jealous of you. Many mothers are jealous of their daughters and see them as competition. This is mean girls s**t.
Mewton’s Third Paw 4 years ago
That’s very true but it could also be reverse where mom is superficial and gorgeous and expecting to have a similar daughter and being angry when the daughter isn’t a stunner.
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Penny Fan 4 years ago
"Mum, am I pretty?" "No". she must have seen my shock at that point because she backtracked very slightly and said "handsome, maybe". She told me off because I tell my daughter she's beautiful because "children shouldn't think their parents love them just because they're beautiful" like that's not really the point, but neither is cruelty but OK...
Mewton’s Third Paw 4 years ago
Your mom has a good point, just poor execution.
Load More Replies... crazy_cat_notAlady 4 years ago
yup. my mom says the same thing. mum - "u r not pretty" me - "hey, but I feel pretty. i'm pretty" mum - "nah" 🤷♀️
Евгеника Зуева 4 years ago
Had the same( "Am I pretty? - I'd say no..you're just..plain". And also made me believe that "if your friends give compliments to you, you should know that they do it only out of pity". Needless to say how it effected my whole life.. Anyway thanks guys for not feeling alone
Sherry Harvey 4 years ago
My mom always told me that other people said I was very ugly. I’ve seen my photos from childhood. I wasn’t ugly.
Karin Jansen 4 years ago
Maybe this is a cultural thing, but I don't see anything wrong with this one =O. Mom would say the exact same thing to me, the message being "we don't focus on looks, you shouldn't be consumed with who's pretty and who isn't, everyone's the same (ordinary, plain) and that's a good thing, we all matter, it's what's on the inside that counts, yadayada."
Margaret Martin 4 years ago
My "Bio-Dad" would always say to fellow workers, customers & Doctors at Hospitals after HE hurt me (various "accidents" on jobs I was too young to be on OR doing)- "Don't worry she'll be fine... it's NOT like she's the PRETTY one." Another gem of his- was to slap me in the back of the head "Gibb's Style" & say; "Pay ATTENTION! You're NOT the pretty one- so you'll NEED to learn how to FIX things to take CARE of yourself!" He died years ago but the physical scars & growing pain from old injuries keep reminding me- so... still trying to cope.
#22
Carol Emory 4 years ago (edited)
My mother did this too. She always said she'd never shell out the $25 for sports at school because we were no good at it anyway, so why waste the money. The worse one was my grandmother..she'd constantly remind us we were over-weight...and then 5 minutes later, ask us if we were hungry and did we want something to eat. Wha?!?
Lisamarie Dexter Pocza 4 years ago
Do we share a "mother"? My egg donor pulled the exact same crap
Margaret Martin 4 years ago
Had one of THOSE too. He died years ago but the physical scars & growing pains from old injuries keep reminding me- so... still trying to cope. Stay Strong.
Fact Perils 4 years ago
Yeah... when I was like 11 my mom warned my swimming coach that I rarely stick with anything and that I've quit a lot of sports (um, maybe because I don't like them?), which resulted in them being really rude and abusive.
Livy Gallant 4 years ago
God, my stepmom says that sh*t to me constantly. She always belittles me when I lose interest in things. I can't tell you how many time's she's called me a quitter and a loser and a waste.
Sherry Harvey 4 years ago
My mother told me if I didn’t quit sucking my thumb, my grandfather would chop it off with an ax. I was five. I believed her.
Myriah Fields 4 years ago
my mom refused to let me do anything in school and let me make the color guard team before she said no and she still says this
#23
BisexualBaddie 3 years ago
i hate when my aunt does this. even when i say im not weak, she insists that i am and it lowkey kinda hurts ngl
deanna woods 4 years ago
I have some spinal issues that cause me to have weak arms. Everyone in my family understands that.
#24
CatWoman312 4 years ago
Thankfully we wear masks now so we don’t have to look at the faces of ugly trolls like your mom
Draco Malfoy 4 years ago
assuming a person like that would actually have the decency to wear one
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Jon Steensen 1 year ago
...and that is how you get a teen with an eating disorder. You are litterally risking killing your children that way.
Pikachu Lulu P.L. 4 years ago
But I agree with the fact that I'm fat anyways
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ASL Mentor 4 years ago
I'm so sorry you suffered from her verbal abuse like that. My mother was the same way, she would grab my thigh fat to pinch it hard and tell me the reason boys never like me is because of how fat my thighs were.
Tabby_Sohee 4 years ago
The fact that her own mom viewed her daughter’s skirt in a sexual way and then told her not to wear it because it wasn’t sexual enough... sick.
#25
Jaime 4 years ago
Ah, I do that too, because of my ADHD. I really hate it, sometimes I say things that make people uncomfortable because I didn’t think before I spoke.
salty 4 years ago
i have ADHD and my parents say that i talk to much but at least they dont mean it in a hurtful way.
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Miriam Brose 4 years ago
I apparently also talk too much. Well, I barely find people who listen to me... Family and my boyfriend are an exception. So when I find someone to listen to me I tend to talk A LOT.
Miriam Brose 4 years ago
I even comment a lot on Reddit in just one thread once I started with it.
Load More Replies... Bettie-Jean Neal 4 years ago
I'm the opposite. I'm silent. People take it as stuck up, but I'm just terrified of saying the wrong thing. I carry around a water bottle at parties and if someone tries to talk to me. I take a few sips to work out what I'm going to say. I have Asperger's.
Philly Bob Squires 4 years ago
I always talked so fast and everyone always wonders why. It's because I have to try to get my thoughts out before someone either walks away or commandeers my conversation.
ASL Mentor 4 years ago
I'm so sorry --- I struggled with that too growing up. You may want to read a great book called NVC - Non Violent Communication by Dr Marshall Rosenberg
Wanderlust 4 years ago
This is me, I feel that the same way now I'm constant of saying sorry. Even if it's not my fault out in the open. This really hits home
Joe Edwards 3 years ago
Sick of everyone having a crutch these days. Oh I have ADHD, or Autism or Aspergers and that means I am not responsible for my words or actions. Grow up.
#26
Steve Wilson 4 years ago
My dad was a former boxer & taught my brothers & I how to fight. He’d say “never start a fight & never back down if someone challenges you. If I find out you did either one of those things I’ll whip you myself “. He knew that if you stand up to bullies they will leave you alone. Even if you lose the fight. Bullies want targets that won’t fight back. One of my brothers is small but quickly earned the respect of the big guys because he had courage & never had to fight after that ‘cause the big guys protected him.
TheCatasaurusMeowMom 4 years ago
I'm sorry you had to hear that, that's a horrendous thing to say to a 6 y/o! Also this: Your mother is a hypocritical twat. I taught my (now) 19 y/o son that fighting with words is always better. Beyond that, defend yourself, don't be the attacker. You're not a "pussy," you were concerned with self-preservation, which is admirable. <3
Karl Baxter 4 years ago
Yep - I was told that if someone hits you then you hit them back harder. Then I did just that to the boy down the street and when he told my dad he believed the other lad’s version of events and I got a right hiding. Never trusted anything he said after that.
Mewton’s Third Paw 4 years ago (edited)
His mom was 100% a boor of a woman ready to scream and fight anyone over the slightest issue. Definitely a man hater and trashy person. A hoodrat, that’s the thing we all know but can’t say.
Jacki Fuson 4 years ago
for one you don't fight you stand up for yourself. you don't just walk around trying to fight people. 2nd you can't teach your child how to fight. I know what you're saying my mom did the same thing to me. But I learned something from it. I can run and cry or I can stand up for myself. I my take an ass beating but I stood up and didn't run. Because an ass beating last seconds running you will do it forever.
#27
Colleen Levac 4 years ago
I so relate to this one. Insane diets as a kid. Never getting to just live like a kid. I was 15 lbs over weight. As an adult I gained a lot of weight and every time I seen my grandma shed always say I was to fat and that was all she’d say to me. She’d gone now but that’s all I associate with my grandma. It’s sad considering she raised me.
Agnes Jekyll 4 years ago
Oh Colleen! I'm so sorry. That's just wrong--everything about it. Sending you love from here.
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lazy panda 4 years ago
I was a bridesmaid in my cousins wedding when I was 10. I remember my mom telling me that I needed to lose weight as well. Ever since, I have despised my body. I'm nearly 30 now.
Agnes Jekyll 4 years ago
We've been made to hate our bodies--and it's just wrong. Your body protects you, it nourishes you. I hope you can love your body. You are young--and you will need to love your body to take care of yourself.I promise, there is nothing wrong with your body, and men with all sorts of bodies walk around thinking it's the greatest thing since sliced bread, and there is no reason for you to not love your body.
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Margaret Martin 4 years ago
Had one of THOSE too. He died years ago but the physical scars & growing pains from old injuries keep reminding me- so... still trying to cope. Stay Strong.
Jackie Porter 4 years ago
My grandmother did this but then she'd give me chocolate biscuits and crisps.
Agnes Jekyll 4 years ago
Prob because she was conditioned to believe that but then shows you love with food--it's so f'ed up.
Load More Replies... Salma Hernández 4 years ago
Then they worry about why you arent eating and the why did you was diagnosticated with Ana,
#28
Raine Soo 4 years ago
This isn't quite the same, but my mother told me that I had no patience for young children. She said this to me when I was 10 years old. I'm surprised that I turned out this well despite her negative attitude.
PandaMonium 4 years ago
You did turn out well! I see your comments on Bored Panda all the time and you are one of the people who make this site a safe, supportive, positive place. I'm sorry to hear you weren't always treated like that yourself, but you have spread positivity to so many pandas!
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Full English 4 years ago
You will be a great Mother because you have witnessed, first hand how 'not' to be a bad one. You often learn more from a bad teacher, I talk from experience. I wish you well
Amanda Sherland 4 years ago
Well, you would be a better mother than her in at least one way: not saying mean things like that!
Henry Cheves 4 years ago
If you aren't like her, then you'd be a great mother, because she's a horrible one.
Cyndi Moring 1 year ago
as a student teacher I was told by the primary teacher that I wasn't teacher material. I quit her class and retook it with another person. I went on had a wonderful 40 year career teaching.
#29
Steve Barnett 4 years ago
Sorry copy and paste. But here's a quote from Kurt Vonnegut, which is apt: "He once told a story of how he was talking to one of the archeologists one day over lunch and the archeologist was bombarding him with all of the typical getting to know you questions… “Do you play sports? What’s your favorite subject?” Vonnegut told the archeologist that while he didn’t play any sports he was in theater, choir, played violin and piano and used to take art classes. The archeologist was impressed. “Wow. That’s amazing!” To which Kurt Vonnegut responded… “Oh no, but I’m not any good at ANY of them.” And this is where the archeologist said something to Kurt Vonnegut that Vonnegut would later say changed the trajectory of his thinking… “I don’t think being good at things is the point of doing them. I think you’ve got all these wonderful experiences with different skills, and that all teaches you things and makes you an interesting person, no matter how well you do them.”
deanna woods 4 years ago
Pick up the guitar! Don't let your toxic mom ruin your dreams. You are never too old to do anything.
im an Afton 4 years ago
YOU PICK UP THAT GUTAIR RIGHT NOW AND SHOW YOUR MOM THAT YOU CAN DO IT
StrawberryParfait 4 years ago
Listen--you PICK UP THAT GUITAR. You deserve music. If an instrument calls to you, then you must listen. I always wanted a piano. One was given to me a couple of years ago. I can't read music, but I now play the piano. HEED THE CALL OF MUSIC.
Tammy Kirks 4 years ago
PROVE HER WRONG!!!! I took up the guitar less than a year ago. I'm 54 years old. Left music 30 years ago and missed it terribly. Learn for yourself. It's really hard, but really worth it! DO IT!!!
Aubrey Oleandereie 4 years ago
I mean.. Jennifer Lawrence parents were laughing at her singing when she was little. She hate to sing since. Even though in HG her singing was awesome and I love the song, she still can't listen to it because of her father. Freaking JLaw...
Pumpkin Spice 4 years ago
*plays A chord* your mom is a biiiitch *plays chord* your mom is a whooore *plays G chord* she should jump off a briiiidge *plays F chord* she should live no moooore *strums F chord again*
#30
Kat Olmstead 4 years ago
It stops being a joke when no one is laughing. This is the equivalent of "It's just a prank" to try and get away with as much destruction as possible.
MammaBear312 4 years ago
Passive/aggressive behaviour. And then when you get angry at the 'jokes' or ask them to stop, they add that to their arsenal against you.
Bettie-Jean Neal 4 years ago
Yup, totally mean it. It's deliberate, to hurt you. It's ok to cut toxic people out of your life. I know that's easier said than done, but it's ok if you do it.
Susan McNeely 4 years ago
When my mom told me she blames me for my son not finishing high school. By the way I didn't finish high school either so was that my mom's fault? No it wasn't I didn't finish because my school was so full of gang members and I was always harassed because I wasn't a member. So I hated school! I took my GED passed with 85%, went into the Air Force for six years and then got my degree in natural science. None of that was my mom's fault. None of that can my mom take credit for either because I did it after I moved it at 16.
Gail Oppy-Farrar 4 years ago
just ad the comeback of - yeah everyone tells me how much I am like my parents, so thanks mum and dad for making me so ugly and fat - it is all your fault as you are both ugly and fat :)
Damo Lee Park 4 years ago
i call my daughter fat all the time. I'll stop if she ever manages to actually gain some weight tho. I also make sure to remind her at least once a day that I call her fat for the same reason her mother calls me Mr Smarty Pants. Because this is Australia, and everyone's nickname must be the opposite of what they are
#31
#32
Carol Emory 4 years ago
My mother did this. "I gave up a happy life to raise you kids!" There's the door lady...don't let it hit you in the butt on the way out! Like her being a tyrant was a happy life for us.
Raine Soo 4 years ago
I hear you! My mother called us kids "a bunch of ingrates." Honestly, I think she wanted us to worship her. She clearly did not understand why we didn't.
Load More Replies... Daphne Williams 4 years ago
Well, at least she didn't single any one of them out . . . I guess.
#33
H Edwards 4 years ago
I remember one of the staff at the care home telling me not to cry when I realised that my mother really was dying. It certainly wasn't helpful.
Miriam Brose 4 years ago
Because my mother always told me to not cry I get angry these days when someone tells me to stop crying.
Alyssa Sweat 4 years ago
OH, so it's COMPLETELY fine and okay if she has a meltdown, but YOU cant get your feelings and emotions out? wow.
StrawberryParfait 4 years ago
You are entitled to your feelings. They are valid, and so are your experiences. Your mother is a selfish narcissist.
#34
Raine Soo 4 years ago
My best friend is estranged from all her family members. And, in turn, they all seem to be estranged from one another. She said that growing up in her family, the environment was quite toxic, and she needed to get away from that. How bad was it? She said that she'd rather die than ask them for help.
Lucky2BAlive 4 years ago
Family are the people who are still around and are willing to just listen when times are dark. The biologicals are just that. Just because they look like you doesn’t mean you have to be them. (Adopted children are loved, right?). I care. I am here. And your gender or gender preference matter not to me.
Jan Crump Aquino 4 weeks ago
If they throw you away that easily, they weren't worth having in your life!!! I know it's easy for me to say, but trust me, appreciate the peace and spend your life enjoying being YOU!!!!
#35
Raine Soo 4 years ago
I can't tell you how many times my mother told me I was stupid. "Not as stupid as you," I would retort. And, then we'd be fighting again.
Ren Karlej 4 years ago
My father did that to me. Stupid, stupid, stupid ALL the time. Bullied me and yet called me a bully just because of the odd spat with a sibling. Who doesn't fight sometimes with brothers and sisters? Yet I would always be in far more trouble then any of them (I wasn't even the eldest). My mother stood by and let all this happen - never even comforted me when I cried or got locked away outside. I always felt like the black sheep of the family and yet one of my sisters did drugs, slept around, disobeyed my parents constantly - got treated like an angel. I just assumed I must be a really awful person.
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Full English 4 years ago
My partner works in a hospital she welcomed a renown heart surgeon to the site for a meeting and guided him to the rest room and coffee machine, she returned 10 minutes later finding him still staring at the machine totally bewildered. She got the coffee for him. Like him, you're not stupid
Spring Fisk 4 years ago
That's so sad! Sounds like they were having issues and took it out on you.
I Liquored On 4 years ago
Ahh yes this brings memories floating up. Stupid or Ig'runt as my father would often call me. I can still see the look on his face when finally in my late teens I stood up to him and pointed out the irony in him calling me ignorant when he couldn't even pronounce the word properly. It was a look of shame. I realised I had hit a nerve and found something about him that he was ashamed of. I never used the way he talked to insult him again and he cut way back on the stupid and ignorant stuff. He is a good man and a good father. But he is also human and has weaknesses like everyone else.
Carol Emory 4 years ago
Were they calling themselves stupid for being so hung over when they had a 7 year old in the house. Me and my husband made it clear that if one of us was drinking, the other stayed sober to be able to help the kid in the morning. Kids don't care that you can't hold your liquor. They still need things like food to get them through the day. If it were me, I would have laughed and offered to teach you how to do it.
Helenium 4 years ago
My sister made my parents hot chocolate once. In the bath like literally filled the bath and dumped a massive industrial size can of chocolate powder in it lol they just laughed and said that’s a lot of hot chocolate. She also re used hot water bottle water for tea to save the planet. Very funny seeing moms face drink rubber flavoured water lol
#36
Martha Meyer 4 years ago
Okay, I think this was well meant, if wrong, advice, perhaps also said in a bad tone. I think OP here is probably very sensitive and had low self esteem at the time, so this hit harder than it might have otherwise.
M O'Connell 4 years ago
I can't really draw anything freehand. When I was a child I had a book of line art specifically meant for being traced. If I had entered the field of engineering a decade earlier I might have put that practice to good use! Either way, tracing is a valuable way to develop muscle memory for a particular style, and to plan and develop your own freehand art.
snipergun 4 years ago
I don't want to make it sound less important because it clearly hurt you, but from what you wrote sounds more like encouragement and faith that you can something great and original by yourself. Could feel differently I believe that, but keep copying stuff would never get you any further.
Stephanie IV 4 years ago
Creativity often starts with interpreting what’s already there. Bach famously adored Vivaldi and paid hommage by more or less copying him. Nobody would claim Bach to be unoriginal.
Leodavinci 4 years ago
Out of ignorance, copying is often derided by those who aren't artistic (and some who are). All of the great artists (I have knowledge of) copied stuff when they started out. The greats of the renaissance usually had apprentices who would copy their work. Typically those artists had been apprentices themselves and copied their master's works. Few artists create art purely from their "imagination". The vast majority use photos of people, places, and things.
Bama Belle 4 years ago (edited)
I'm sorry, but this is a stupid reason to stop drawing and to have a "crippling fear" of being unoriginal. Whether his comment was meant to inspire or criticize, we need to take some personal responsibility for how we see ourselves and our abilities. It's easier said than done when we are children, but this person obviously carried it farther along in life than she ever needed to. Sounds to me like an excuse for fear of failing.
Mary Guerinot 1 year ago
Bama Belle - WOW! I'm not sure who you think you are, but how dare you call someone stupid for their feelings? You seem to be somewhat of an asshat! If this is how you treat people, I'm glad you're not my friend. People don't always hear what's said, but instead the tone of which it's said. You have no idea how this was presented.
Load More Replies... StrawberryParfait 4 years ago
FREE YOUR GIFTS! Honest to Christ, all these parent stifling creativity are hurting me to my soul. CREATE! You owe it to you!
#37
#38
Carol Emory 4 years ago
I would have said "You know you can think rude thoughts without actually saying them, right?"
Anna McHugh 4 years ago
LOL - I realize I'll get downvoted for this, but that's actually quite funny. I've been exhausted at the end of the day and someone just would.not.stop.
Bama Belle 4 years ago
But I'm betting you've been guilty of it yourself at some point. We all are. That's why being rude & hurtful is just plain hypocritical.
Load More Replies... Bama Belle 4 years ago
Oh yes, that stings. I've been criticized like that. Made me feel like a fool, but also angry because of all the stupid s**t they droned on and on about when I couldn't have cared less. At least I had the decency to not say it. I understood that we all have things we find interesting that others don't.
#39
WildHoneyPie 4 years ago
Shoot, that's just not fair. Birthday money is Yours. Spend it as you please.
Randall Thomas 3 years ago
yep. I'm the same way. Including spending money on vital things for fear of wasting money.
#40
Jo Johannsen 4 years ago
One of my step fathers told me during their divorce that I was the cause. I was 10.
Iggy 4 years ago
I think the fact that you had more than one stepfather proves you weren't!
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a_smol_berry 4 years ago
I doubt anyone will react to this for many reasons, but my mom has done so many things I’ve never thought of this as abuse. Because I’ve never wanted to label her as a bad mom. This hit me like a truck, sitting and scrolling through, being able to relate to these.
#41
#42
Lucky2BAlive 4 years ago
My only fight in school I didn’t fight back. My mother got mad at me and asked me why I didn’t hit back, in my head the answer was, I can’t hit you back, so why bother.
#43
Carol Emory 4 years ago
I had a co-worker that was a man hater. She'd constantly say how dumb and useless they were. Then my boss went to her and said "You have a son, right? He will eventually grow up to be a man. So every time you berate and belittle men in his presence, you're actually insulting him. Do you think he's going to resent you for that?" Our co-worker never bashed on men again.
The Deez 4 years ago
Good for your boss for stepping in like that! It must have been hard to do but it sounds like it made a big impression!
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#44
Mir Adwari 4 years ago
The child was just chatting. Children want to share their interests with their parents. Don't parents have a duty to try and hide their terrible times as best they can from young children? I don't mean being over protective about the realities of life, we all have to accept that difficult times can happen and children often pick up on things anyway. This though? Parents do have feelings but they need to think about THEIR audience.
Load More Replies... #45
Monika Nagyova 4 years ago
You mean "problem", right? It's just a body shape. We all have one, no matter the current trend. It's a feature not a problem.
Load More Replies... #46
Green Machine 4 years ago
Pretty much saying "We won't love you unless you unless you're perfect". It's maddening.
#48
Stephanie IV 4 years ago
That a dress isn’t flattering can be said in a much less harmful way.
#49
Carol Emory 4 years ago
I did this with my mother. I called her after moving 3000 miles away to let her know her grandson was just diagnosed with Autism. She then proceeds to chew me out saying that she knew all along and that I had been to lazy to get him diagnosed before moving and that she had told me he was autistic (which she hadn't.) I tried to veer the conversation to what was being done for him to get him started on therapy. She kept going back to wanting me to admit that she'd already figured out his diagnosis before I left. I finally said "Look...I didn't call you to have an argument! If that's all you can do than sit there in your house alone and wonder what's going on. This is my son's life were talking about, not your Ego. Get over it or get lost!" And I hung up. Two months later, she called and apologized.
Azure Adams 4 years ago
move away and get separation from you mother. Also, she gets unkind on the phone, you end the call immediately. Boundaries.
#50
#51
Raven DeathShade 4 years ago
I've been called "overdramatic" so much I can't even tell my parents how severely I have been impacted by them, and the fact I've quite literally been wishing that I could run far, far away from them or at least die. I'm scared they'll tell me I'm not actually depressed and I'm overreacting...
Pumpkin Spice 4 years ago
Come live with me, my parents are like decent at least...
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#52
#53
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What do you think ?
Watching 4 years ago
I just can't read any more of these. I stopped at like number five. How could anyone ever say these things to their children?
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
With my dad, I assume (now) that he was seriously effed up in the head. "Give me one reason I shouldn't kill you!" was something that stuck with me. Also, "Tell me why I shouldn't tell everyone what a loser you are?" Mysister followed suit early and often. I still can't take a compiment. I'm waiting for the punch to the head, y'know? So... HUGS. I dont' get it, and I lived it.
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Brandy Grote 4 years ago
As a severely depressed, abused 10 yr old, she called me a "bitchy witchy hag". A few years later I had sores inside my nose. When I informed her of this, she just said "coke nose". (I was 13 and had no allowance and wasn't even allowed to babysit so....). The last thing she said was "until I can think like her, she doesn't want to hear from me". That was about 2004. I've never been so mentally healthy!
Kharyss 4 years ago
I was emotionally and physically bullied for 11 years at an all girls private boarding school. Tried to tell my mother once and was told “the only reason I’m still with your father is to pay your school fees”. Severe depression, social anxiety, night terrors, self harm and bulimia followed, all kept secret and no one saw, but I never tried to tell a soul again because I didn’t want to be responsible for my parents divorce. 35 years later and I still don’t truly believe that people could like me or that I have value. Single. No kids. Probably always will be. But my parents never split up.
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago
I couldn't read the whole list, I got up to 10 and that was it. It really hurts my heart that these parents are so awful to their kids. It is our job as parents to care for, look after and encourage our kids, not belittle, bully or destroy their self confidence etc. Some people should never be parents.
Sarah Simons 4 years ago
Me too. Honestly the meanest my mom had gotten was just doing harmless pranks like freezing our cereal milk on April Fools Day. It really hurts that some people would do anything for a mom like that, because of how badly they were treated.
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Birgit M 4 years ago
When I was around 14 my older brother (around 21 then) groped me several times and one time he even wanted to persuade me to sleep with him. When I told my parents, my father said exactly this (and only this) to me: „If you ever tell this to anyone you will destroy the whole family and I will kill myself.“ My mother didn‘t say anything at all.
Raine Soo 4 years ago
That is bleeding awful. Your SOB brother was the one who was destroying the family, and your father was in complete denial. Your mother didn't say anything because her voice probably had no weight. I'm glad that you are now better. But, I'm still angry for you.
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WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
These posts are an explanation why the lonely old persons in the retirement home never get any visitors. I feel sorry all of the people who got hurt by their parents.
Kharyss 4 years ago
True. When my parents died, I made all the arrangements, paid for a good send off, said the right words to all their friends and acquaintances, but never cried once. They might as well have been strangers to me.
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Draco Malfoy 4 years ago
When I was younger, anytime I would cry in front of my mom, she would get angry and accuse me of acting like a victim to make her seem like the villian in our situation. Then when I stopped showing emotion around her, she would get mad demanding to know why I wouldn't share things with her. Very narcissistic.
Mary Bank 4 years ago
At 15 I was very depressed, I went into the bathroom and took all the medication in there, was rushed to the hospital and given charcoal drink because it was too late to pump my stomach. My mom complained about the cost of it. She never got me help and would bring it up all the time and how much I cost her. Fast forward to 19 year old me getting mental help on my own. Now I am in my 40's, married to my best friend with the best son ever and guess what we do, TALK ABOUT OUR FEELINGS and I make sure they both know how loved and cared for they are everyday. I never ever want my kid to feel that low and NOT feel supported and cared for. Learn from the shitty things your parents did and have it make you a better more caring and compassionate person. I was in anger management for 10 years, was on anti-depressants for about 15 years and CBT (Cognitive behavioral therapy). Never too late to be a better person.
Furious George 4 years ago
All I have to say is that every conversation I've had about my childhood has been followed by "I don't remember it like that". Not sure what to do with that.
Mir Adwari 4 years ago
It's an avoidance technique. In court if people claim they can't recall or have a different memory it's often because they are trying to avoid admitting the truth. In your situation if they can claim a different memory it puts you in a position where you doubt yourself and so stop trying to talk about it. We can all recollect things differently, the emotions we felt at the time will colour things. What they should be concerned with is the IMPACT it had on you even if it wasn't their desired intention. Truth be told you're probably better off just doing what you can do move on and be mentally healthy but if you wanted to go back to it then you might want to focus more on how it made you feel, rather than a recitation of facts they can dispute. Don't know if that helps! I've been there so I do know a little of how you must feel.
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Eunice Probert 4 years ago
My father told me, when I was 15, that if I had been born a boy he could have loved me. And so he confirmed what I had always suspected, that he was an utter piece of you-know-what.
CL Cat 4 years ago
Yeah, mine was disappointed in me for the same reason. Plus I was born with birth defects that made me nothing but a burden. He never straight out said I was a burden, but his mom told me that all the time. She used to tell me I should have never been born, that everyone’s life would have been better if I’d never existed. Physical abuse is bad enough, but the body heals. Words wound and stay with you forever.
Load More Replies... Watching 4 years ago
I just can't read any more of these. I stopped at like number five. How could anyone ever say these things to their children?
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
With my dad, I assume (now) that he was seriously effed up in the head. "Give me one reason I shouldn't kill you!" was something that stuck with me. Also, "Tell me why I shouldn't tell everyone what a loser you are?" Mysister followed suit early and often. I still can't take a compiment. I'm waiting for the punch to the head, y'know? So... HUGS. I dont' get it, and I lived it.
Load More Replies... Brandy Grote 4 years ago
As a severely depressed, abused 10 yr old, she called me a "bitchy witchy hag". A few years later I had sores inside my nose. When I informed her of this, she just said "coke nose". (I was 13 and had no allowance and wasn't even allowed to babysit so....). The last thing she said was "until I can think like her, she doesn't want to hear from me". That was about 2004. I've never been so mentally healthy!
Kharyss 4 years ago
I was emotionally and physically bullied for 11 years at an all girls private boarding school. Tried to tell my mother once and was told “the only reason I’m still with your father is to pay your school fees”. Severe depression, social anxiety, night terrors, self harm and bulimia followed, all kept secret and no one saw, but I never tried to tell a soul again because I didn’t want to be responsible for my parents divorce. 35 years later and I still don’t truly believe that people could like me or that I have value. Single. No kids. Probably always will be. But my parents never split up.
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago
I couldn't read the whole list, I got up to 10 and that was it. It really hurts my heart that these parents are so awful to their kids. It is our job as parents to care for, look after and encourage our kids, not belittle, bully or destroy their self confidence etc. Some people should never be parents.
Sarah Simons 4 years ago
Me too. Honestly the meanest my mom had gotten was just doing harmless pranks like freezing our cereal milk on April Fools Day. It really hurts that some people would do anything for a mom like that, because of how badly they were treated.
Load More Replies... Birgit M 4 years ago
When I was around 14 my older brother (around 21 then) groped me several times and one time he even wanted to persuade me to sleep with him. When I told my parents, my father said exactly this (and only this) to me: „If you ever tell this to anyone you will destroy the whole family and I will kill myself.“ My mother didn‘t say anything at all.
Raine Soo 4 years ago
That is bleeding awful. Your SOB brother was the one who was destroying the family, and your father was in complete denial. Your mother didn't say anything because her voice probably had no weight. I'm glad that you are now better. But, I'm still angry for you.
Load More Replies... WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
These posts are an explanation why the lonely old persons in the retirement home never get any visitors. I feel sorry all of the people who got hurt by their parents.
Kharyss 4 years ago
True. When my parents died, I made all the arrangements, paid for a good send off, said the right words to all their friends and acquaintances, but never cried once. They might as well have been strangers to me.
Load More Replies... Draco Malfoy 4 years ago
When I was younger, anytime I would cry in front of my mom, she would get angry and accuse me of acting like a victim to make her seem like the villian in our situation. Then when I stopped showing emotion around her, she would get mad demanding to know why I wouldn't share things with her. Very narcissistic.
Mary Bank 4 years ago
At 15 I was very depressed, I went into the bathroom and took all the medication in there, was rushed to the hospital and given charcoal drink because it was too late to pump my stomach. My mom complained about the cost of it. She never got me help and would bring it up all the time and how much I cost her. Fast forward to 19 year old me getting mental help on my own. Now I am in my 40's, married to my best friend with the best son ever and guess what we do, TALK ABOUT OUR FEELINGS and I make sure they both know how loved and cared for they are everyday. I never ever want my kid to feel that low and NOT feel supported and cared for. Learn from the shitty things your parents did and have it make you a better more caring and compassionate person. I was in anger management for 10 years, was on anti-depressants for about 15 years and CBT (Cognitive behavioral therapy). Never too late to be a better person.
Furious George 4 years ago
All I have to say is that every conversation I've had about my childhood has been followed by "I don't remember it like that". Not sure what to do with that.
Mir Adwari 4 years ago
It's an avoidance technique. In court if people claim they can't recall or have a different memory it's often because they are trying to avoid admitting the truth. In your situation if they can claim a different memory it puts you in a position where you doubt yourself and so stop trying to talk about it. We can all recollect things differently, the emotions we felt at the time will colour things. What they should be concerned with is the IMPACT it had on you even if it wasn't their desired intention. Truth be told you're probably better off just doing what you can do move on and be mentally healthy but if you wanted to go back to it then you might want to focus more on how it made you feel, rather than a recitation of facts they can dispute. Don't know if that helps! I've been there so I do know a little of how you must feel.
Load More Replies... Eunice Probert 4 years ago
My father told me, when I was 15, that if I had been born a boy he could have loved me. And so he confirmed what I had always suspected, that he was an utter piece of you-know-what.
CL Cat 4 years ago
Yeah, mine was disappointed in me for the same reason. Plus I was born with birth defects that made me nothing but a burden. He never straight out said I was a burden, but his mom told me that all the time. She used to tell me I should have never been born, that everyone’s life would have been better if I’d never existed. Physical abuse is bad enough, but the body heals. Words wound and stay with you forever.
Load More Replies...
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