We don’t always know exactly how we come off to others. You might consider yourself to be super friendly, while a stranger on the bus might say you look intimidating while listening to music and wearing sunglasses. At the same time, behavior that you might consider perfectly normal may actually be making those around you extremely uncomfortable.
One curious Reddit user recently asked others to share some common things men do that come off as creepy, and women and men had plenty to say in the replies. Below, you’ll find some of the most popular responses, so enjoy reading through and be sure to upvote the behaviors you wish men would stop exhibiting as well.
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Dude is no one gonna say unsolicited d**k pics? Like y’all be airdropping them. I had a guy tell me that women appreciate it cause they wanna know what they’re working with. Nobody gonna work that s**t if that’s your opening.
When they insult you once you reject them.
Telling you to smile
I smile when I'm amused or when I'm happy, not on command because "it looks nice when women smile."
Lingering/being flirtatious when a woman is at her job. Shes smiling because she has to, she's talking to you because she has to. Yea, maybe she's into you, but the fact there's no way to really know since she's basically forced to interact with you, it comes off creepy.
Sit next to you when you're the only two people in a place with many, many seats.
When I was 19 I was a phone girl at a local pizza place. I would answer the phone and take people’s orders for carry out or delivery. One time this guy called and said he was placing an order for delivery. By the end of the order he changed his mind and said he wanted to order carry out.
The dude shows up and my coworker helps him and he says “you’re not the girl I talked to on the phone. I want to talk to that girl.” I realize he’s talking about me and I ask what’s wrong. He then tells me he thinks I have a really soothing voice and should do ASMR. I was like ok that’s weird but relatively harmless?
The guy gets his food then leaves. We can see him sitting in his car for like 15 minutes. Then he came back in the store with a map and started asking me a bunch of weird questions for directions to somewhere. I said “why can’t you just use google maps? I see you have an iPhone” and point to his phone. Then as I point I see him try to hide the screen. He had the audio recorder pulled up! This weirdo came back in the store with a thinly veiled excuse of asking for directions because he was trying to record my voice!!! It was so creepy. I told him “wait one second” and went to the back and told some coworkers what was going on. A friend of mine who worked in the kitchen, a 6’2 muscle head walked out and was like “IM GREAT WITH DIRECTIONS. MY GIRLFRIEND IS TERRIBLE AT THEM (while gesturing to me). LET ME HELP YOU!” Suddenly the guy didn’t need directions anymore.
So yeah. I’m going to say whatever that was, that was creepy.
I’m a guy but a semi-frequent bar patron. Whenever guys ask bartenders what time they get off that they’ve had little to no interaction with is incredibly creepy. Gives off “I’ll be waiting for you in the parking lot” vibes.
As a former bartender this is absolutely correct. Anyone in the service industry that feels uncomfortable walking alone to your car, ask acoworker to walk to your car with you. Trust your instinct.
Not backing off when a woman indicates in any way whatsoever verbally or physically she isn’t interested, yet they continue or think they can continue to harass you or change your mind
Under risk of being downvoted to oblivion. This is still a reaction that until very recently the way for a woman to behave was to play hard to get (google it and some sites still has this as a relationship "tactic"). Men both have to learn to respect a "no" and that girls that play hard are not worth the effort of us braking our heads to figure out if is a real disinterest or a messed up behavior.
Hey where do you work? Oh which one? Yeah there's like six of them.....which one do you work at? No I won't show up at your work lol hahaha hey..... hey.... hey.... did you block me? What did I do wrong?
Flirting with/hitting on women who are at work, commenting on our breasts/a*s, making any type of comment referring to a sexual act to a woman you are not imitate with, and not taking no for an answer
If you want to compliment anyone, of any gender, compliment them on their clothes/shoes/accessories or a fully visible tattoo. Make it as general as poss ("cool shirt, I like this colour!"). DO NOT pull a full inquisition if they're wearing band, movie or gaming merch!
Touch my waist to move by me. I'll drop kick you. There is no reason for it, and it makes me irate every single time.
Oh I’m sorry did my elbow contact your stomach? I thought you were a creep trying to touch me.
Stand an inch away from you when you're in a line
I don't like it when men refer to "the wife" like she's "the lawn mower" or "the tv" or something
Me: "I'm married." *Shows ring*
Random guy: "I don't believe you. They all say that."
Then it just gets creepy because no matter what you say they just don't believe anything and keep pressing you to leave with them. That hyper aggressiveness is creepy.
Men looking at women and licking their lips. JFC.. creepy,sleazy creeps.
Edit to add. There's a difference between just licking your lips and the sleazy creepy way some men do it.
Talk to me (a male) about how much they disrespect women like i'm "in on it"
especially if i've never met the guy
This is why I find it so hard to interact with men (even though I'm a man myself). All that machistic bravado, sex obsession and treating women like sentient f#ck dolls is genuinely making me nauseous.
Personally I find it creepy when men insist that only unattractive men can be creepy. Not only do they assume that women only pay attention to hot guys and immediately write off the rest, but also that there's nothing wrong with their own behaviour that being better looking wouldn't fix.
Yep sadly this is true, at least in my experience. I regret to say it. I was a turd. But I got away with stuff and was really successful unlike my unattractive friends. Nowadays however I treat women with more respect than I do fellow men. Because I regret being a turd.
I (31, F) was walking up the stairs at a train station carrying a large suitcase the other day. A guy wanted to help and just took my suitcase from me without asking. I had to tell him 3 times I was ok and didn’t need his help. The suitcase wasn’t particularly heavy, just big. Don’t just grab other people’s stuff without asking! I know he just wanted to help but still!
It really doesn't take much to just ask "would you like a hand with that?" and accept the person's response if they say "no thanks." That's basic respect.
Asking if I live alone. Just find this question so creepy intrusive like can’t imagine they asked another male this question.
I have never ever ever once in my life been possessed to ask this question. Cause if you aren't a f*****g creeper the answer doesn't matter.
Flirting with girls in school uniforms
Ask you out while you are at work or a situation in which you cannot leave.
Ignoring personal boundaries and invading personal space without consent.
So casually steamroll your objections to their attentions. They'll drive you home, it's right around the corner. Nah, don't waste money on the app, he's going that way anyway! Don't worry, he's not *that* kind of guy, he's married!
Etc etc etc, until you hide in the restroom and call a friend or relative to pick you up instead.
Tell random women they don’t know to smile.
My daughter and her SO were in a checkout line when he told the cashier she should smile more. My daughter was mortified & punched him in the shoulder & told him to shut up.
I am a guy and I deliver food but I have a girls name.
Guys are always waiting outside even though it's a contactless delivery and says to leave at door and sometimes they call me before I get there and try to hit on me but you're very disappointed and confused when it's a guy
One guy harassed me one time and I Kept $70 of his food And ate it myself
I'm sometimes waiting outside my suite door or walking to the main lobby area to make sure the delivery guy isn't lost or in case he doesn't want to come up to my suite, despite using contactless. To me, contactless delivery is deemed just paying online. I don't want my food placed on the gross hallway floor.
Let’s see, recently a dude asked me for directions. It was already late? I told him, I don’t know then walked away. He almost followed me home, I had to stop at a store. He was quiet too, I went to grab water. The minute I turned around he was behind me.
Ladies do not be afraid to call the police or hang out in brightly lit public areas. On behalf of my stupid dumb f**k gender/sex I'd like to apologize that we are not better. We should be better, but we are not. So please protect yourself ladies because the evil men aren't decent enough to take themselves off the f*****g board.
Continue trying to get your attention when you are not engaging with them.
This is what this makes me think of. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXwCvIaVNFc
Heres a list of creepy s**t men have done in the last year to me:
Following me around the neighborhood. This has happened several times. Sometimes they will stop and talk to me which leads to the next two points.
Cornering me at my car to “talk” and not letting me leave
Demanding sex from me
Inappropriate comments in general
Staring for too long
Touching in any capacity l unless we are close is bonafide creep behavior.
Showing up at my work to “talk”
Men just be out here creeping on women. Its not “all men” but men tend to excuse it when their friend, brother, cousin, etc out there creeping on women
Men need to be stopped. Women are people and this is not an okay way to treat people.
As my wife doesn't WFH, she has to be out in the world a lot more. I'll paraphrase what she said recently:
"What the hell's with male Uber drivers and the 'You goin' to your boyfriend's house???' It's such an obvious way to open up whether I might be DTF."
Same goes with when she opens the door for DoorDash. She says there's always fishy types of small talk that weird her out, usually around her schedule and whether they've seen her at [insert shop here]. She doesn't like when some strange dude wants to time/place her. Questions like, "Hey, how's your day?" are all well and good. Friendly. But the personal stuff's gotta go.
As such, I've stopped shushing the dog when she barks at Dashers. I want them to know there's a dog that only needs the word go right behind this pretty little lady who tipped you well, sir.
Interestingly, this doesn't happen across social/demographic boundaries. In my country (SA) a food delivery guy or an uber guy would never dare hit on an upperclass (rich) woman. Because he'd get arrested and charged in seconds. However, unfortunately, if the woman is lower-income (meaning usually black) he will get away with it. In fact we've had MANY cases of black women being kidnapped and raped by uber drivers. Disgusting, but a result of apartheid and our unacceptable levels of patriarchy and GBV.
As a guy, here's a few I noticed about other guys:
- Men hitting on much younger women
- men who bother women at the gym
- guys who try to give women unwanted massages (mostly shoulder rubs while they are sitting)
unwanted massages are the grossest. I only did this when I was asked to, and when she announced sexual interest I walked away.
Speaking as a 5'2" (1.57) woman, guys you barely know or even total strangers lifting you up off the ground to hug you
"I don't see why you're being so careful. I already would have killed you if I had intended to.
a buddy of a friend who I was meeting said to me because it was his first time visiting a foreign nation.
Men are afraid women will humiliate them. Women are afraid men will murder them.
Telling you unsolicited stories about their sex life.
Mumble something quietly under their breath while you walk by, like, "Wow you're so beautiful." Jesus, if you're going to compliment a stranger could you at least not try to come across as a serial killer?
Stand in the doorway while they hold the door open.
No I will not brush my a*s against you just because you're holding the door open. Gtfo my way
I have a coworker. I had never met him (officially) before we started working at the same place 2 years ago. He gave me a weird Vibe from the get-go, but I just avoided him as much as I could, which was easy cause we dont have the same job at our facility.
After a while he starts talking about 2 brothers that I do know, and how he was friends with 1 of them - pkay fine, a little creepy you *know* I knew them too. Then he asks when I moved from X adress where I lived with my ex?
- I shut that Down, and Straight out said that was a creepy comment that made me uncormftable.
I now avoid him even more at work, but a few months pass and he starts asking how Long I lived at Y adress, and that it was then I was hanging out with ‘specific group of people’. I told him how tf he knew about 2 past adresses and whom my friends were, Since I NEVER met him before?!
Oh, he and that 1 brother sometimes talk about me. I have not spoken to either of those 2 brothers for 5 years.
That s**t is creepy as hell
Tell you their life story. I had one guy in a liquor store recently that decided to tell me what each of his tattoos meant. When he got to his kids he told me their life stories. I finally saw my excuse to get away and he grabbed my hand and kissed it.
I saw him recently and I said hello but just walked in. I heard him calling me a b***h. I try so hard to be nice, but kissing my hand I can’t take.
Being hit on in the gym, this has happened to me so multiple times and even though I understand some people are just trying to 'shoot their shot', the gym should be a safe space. I come there to workout, sweat it out and go home, not to find the love of my life. I don't want to be hit on and then have the awkwardness of turning someone down to then feel like they're constantly watching me in between my sets and I can't avoid them especially as my gym is not the biggest. So it's a big no to this from me.
Just make a women-only gym. We have one in my city. (At least, one that I have seen).
Being aggressive physically or getting aroused or staring too long at family members or underaged youth. All things have witnessed and don’t know how to respond to these creeps.
photograph them and tell them you're putting them on reddit under the AITA section.
Park beside you in an empty parking lot
I'm a woman and I park near other cars in an empty parking lot because there's safety in numbers
Call women they don’t know by terms of endearment
Don't not call us "lady", "sweetie", "honey", "muffin", "sweetheart", "girlie", "princess", "sexy".
Spending casual time with them and then them immediately thinking you're flirting with them. Not accepting "no" for an answer and then proceeding to stalk afterwards not knowing what they did wrong.
Happened several times, stays creepy and makes me very uncomfortable
Advice I heard a while ago and think is both hilarious and effective: if someone won’t leave you alone, look them in the eyes, and, as deadpan and serious as you can, say something extremely horrible and specific, ex. “I will flay every inch of skin off of your body and leave you to run around in circles until you die of massive blood loss and shock,” “I will turn your skin inside out, rub you with strychnine and powdered glass, and hang you from a mancheneel tree,” “I will break every single one of your bones and then rearrange them in alphabetical order,” “I will slowly castrate you over the course of several weeks with rusty razor wire.”
Dude here, I've always hated how men who you're unfamiliar with/have 0 connection to outside of being an acquaintance like a coworker just feel comfortable *touching* you. It takes alot to get under my skin, but when my coworker comes and does that weird, shoulder grip massage thing. Another saw me sitting, absent mindedly swinging my free arm and snuck up behind me and ran his finger down my palm, thought he was being funny. Like, who the f**k does that...
Staring too long. Glance is fine but staring too long just comes off as sus.
Stalk girls that they like
There's a certain type of men who do this and they are capable and guilty of everything else on this list. I dated a guy who admitted to me he followed me home a few times before he asked me out. This was when I was 13 and it was my first bf. I dumped him within a month of dating.
Try to give a stranger any type of beverage at the club. (Happened to me this weekend.)
Nah guy, just cause we chatted in the bathroom line doesn’t mean I’m gonna accept the weird cup of “water” you got me unsolicited.
ETA: a beverage that they don’t see you get, and that you could have don’t anything to.
Advice: never drink a drink in a bar unless you saw the bartender open it and he handed it to you directly.
Start a conversation with “are you married ?”
Depends on how they react to the answer. In my opinion at least
“For the last few years, I’ve been in the habit of walking up behind women in the office, massaging their shoulders, and whispering in their ears, ‘Daddy’s home.’ Inappropriate?”
-Conan O’Brien
Is this a joke? Because he is a comedian, then again I also know nothing about his personality and if he’s an actual creep or not
When guys say I'm not homophobic I just don't want random guys hitting on me. HELLO? How the fuq u think women feel all the time?
Stephen, what rights are you being denied for being heterosexual?
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I may get downvoted for this but I couldn’t get past the first few entries. It may be just me but this post makes it seem like every guy is out to get you.
I think it was just pointing out bad stuff in particular, it doesn't mean that every man is a bad person
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Every one of the above! What ever happened to being a gentleman? I'm an older guy, 60+.
When guys say I'm not homophobic I just don't want random guys hitting on me. HELLO? How the fuq u think women feel all the time?
Stephen, what rights are you being denied for being heterosexual?
Load More Replies... I may get downvoted for this but I couldn’t get past the first few entries. It may be just me but this post makes it seem like every guy is out to get you.
I think it was just pointing out bad stuff in particular, it doesn't mean that every man is a bad person
Load More Replies... Every one of the above! What ever happened to being a gentleman? I'm an older guy, 60+.
