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“I Didn’t Act Married”: 50 Times Male Coworkers Baffled Women With Their Creepiness And Stupidity
There is no excuse for toxic, rude, or sexist behavior at work. Unfortunately, the sad reality is that it still happens within many companies and organizations around the world. Aside from insulting their coworkers, which is unethical, these people also have a direct negative impact on the business’s efficiency and profits. Talented workers who are discriminated against either get demotivated or jump ship in search of normal workplace environments.
The ‘When’s Happy Hour’ Instagram account recently shared a post, inviting working women to reveal the worst, most bizarre, and ludicrous things their male colleagues have ever said to them. We’ve collected some of the very worst comments that would make anyone’s blood boil. If you want to see what to never ever say at work, scroll down. But be warned, this is beyond frustrating to read.
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#1
In a room full of male colleagues, the (male) CIO asked me to take the meeting notes. I was the 3rd highest ranked person in the room, but the only female. Thank goodness my (male) boss said “ummm, not sure why Lynsey needs to do that, can you explain?”…and the CIO was speechless and another guy volunteered. There are some good ones out there!
RELATED:
#2
You should make more of an effort at work, put some lipstick on (he was in his 40s and I was 23, it was the first time I met him as I'd only been working there a couple of months). Told him i don't need lipstick to do my job well, but that he could give it a go if he needs to.
#3
"Why do you never wear skirts?" I responded with the same question.
Petra Peitsch 6 months ago
Last time, when I was wearing a skirt was, when my mother has a saying about, what I want to wear.
The Harvard Business Review points out that there’s a difference between a difficult employee and a toxic one who makes work life miserable for everyone. “I call them toxic because not only do they cause harm but they also spread their behavior to others,” explains Dylan Minor, an assistant professor at the Kellogg School of Management.
Meanwhile, Christine Porath, an associate professor at Georgetown, told HBR that toxic employees have a pattern of “de-energizing, frustrating, or putting down teammates.” She noted that it’s not just about a particular employee being rude—the entire team suffers because of their behavior.
“Oftentimes, the behavior doesn’t run against anything legal so you can’t fire them if others in the organization don’t agree that a line has been crossed.”
#4
My former new Team Manager Indirectly joked and told me I could benefit from reducing my caseload and responsibilities to potentially become a trophy wife if I ever decided to in the future. The next morning he had an hour long meeting with HR and company CEO.
#5
Was told that I look "tired" and then when I said he should not be commenting on peoples appearances at work, proceed to say that his wife "doesn't mind when he comments'". I looked him straight in the eye and said, last time I checked, im not your wife.
#6
A boss told me to spread my legs and then immediately “corrected” it to spread your wings while having a conversation with me about me being promoted. I did get the promotion on my own, a transfer, and he got terminated.
HBR suggests that managers talk to the potentially problematic individual first, in order to try and understand what’s causing their behavior. They ought to follow up with concrete and specific feedback, as well as the opportunity to change for the better. Furthermore, they can look for ways to minimize the interactions between the toxic employee and the rest of the team.
On the flip side, something to avoid doing is bringing the situation up with your other team members. Instead, you should allow them to mention things first and then provide suggestions. You shouldn’t fire the potentially problematic person unless you’ve documented their behavior, how it impacted the team, and how you responded. And of course, you probably have other priorities at work, too. Don’t ignore them just to focus on handling one single issue.
#7
I very politely corrected a male colleague who had misread some data and another male in the room said 'imagine being corrected by a girl! To which I said technically he had been corrected also as he hadn't noticed the error either.
#8
One time a male coworker mansplained to me how to pronounce my name. My own name.
#9
“You’re coming off a little too strong.” Funny, you never hear that as a feedback to a man.
As per People Management, companies should ensure that toxic behavior is “unambiguously unacceptable.” The organization has to be very explicit that they will not tolerate certain behaviors.
“Toxic behaviors can be both verbal and non-verbal and can include isolating individuals, excluding people from meetings or work events, unreasonable job demands that frequently impact personal time and name calling that belittles individuals in front of others. Non-verbal threats such as smirking and eye-rolling can be intimidating. Comments about someone’s size, weight, gender, or age can frequently be dressed up as ‘banter’ but are demeaning and often discriminatory.”
#10
"Sweetie, is there a man in charge?" He said. As I handed him a redline of HIS drawing that I FIXED FOR HIM. I was an engineer, and he got mad I corrected his mistakes.
#11
I was the project lead on a new product launch, and I had a meeting with all the other department heads for schedule coordination and planning and they were all men. One of the department heads who did not know me, walked right up to me and asked: “can you get me a cup of coffee, hun?” I obliged and then proceeded to sit at the head of the table and introduced myself as the project lead for the launch. He sat in silence while awkwardly sipping his coffee for the remainder of the meeting.
#12
My back was hurting so I stretched for like a second. He took this as an invitation to comment on the size of my breasts in front of everyone in our open plan office.
What is the very worst thing that someone at work has ever said to you? Have you ever been a victim of workplace sexism? How did your manager, HR, or company react to any issues with toxic colleagues? If you feel up to it, share your thoughts, opinions, and experiences in the comments below.
#13
“Come on, what’s the big deal, young lady?” My boss asking me to have a sip of whiskey at 11 am in his office when I was 7 months pregnant. I wish this was made up.
#14
(I am a chef) “if you go in the walk-in for a minute, I can’t spank that bad mood out of you.” (He was married and my boss)
Second only to the same man walking up behind me in a pantry room and cupping my breasts in both hands, and saying “that’s exactly how I thought they’d feel”
When I told the owner, I got fired. This was the summer of 2000
Petra Peitsch 6 months ago
Till like 2010-2015 gastronomy was a hell of a place for women. Not just that they were "reduced" to making salads and maximum desserts, but these kind of s.exual harrasments were "normal". Times changed. Gastronomy is still hard, but the gender card is losing it"'s worth with every day.
#15
“I’m gonna tell you like I told….(the only other female in office)… Know your place!” We literally ran the facility and he was a newcomer.
#17
"Why would a woman need measuring tape for?”
I’m an engineer
Manic Mama 6 months ago
You don't need to be an engineer to have a measuring tape. I carry one in my handbag, and can't tell you the number of times it's come in handy.
#18
When attending the interview of a sales executive, we were taking a 15 min break halfway through…my president asked the candidate if he wanted coffee/tea and the candidate turned to me and asked for a black coffee with two packets of sugar 🙄 safe to say he didn’t get the role.
#20
The owner of the start up I worked at watched me Google search something and said he was impressed “I knew computers”. I built my first website when I was 10 and have worked in tech for 15 years.
#21
“Is everything okay? Is it that time of month?” When I disagreed with my boss's approach
#22
A male coworker referred to my maternity leave as a vacation
Ellinor 6 months ago
Well, either this guy doesn't have kids or he is a bad father and a bad partner.
Tabitha 6 months ago (edited)
Or his only paternal act is to be sure the child support check arrives on time and doesn’t bounce so he can stay in the family court judge’s good graces.
Load More Replies...
Celtic Pirate Queen 5 months ago
"Yeah, recovering from an invasive medical procedure - that almost cut me in half to produce a human child - is a f*cking vacation. I recommend you try it".
#23
That my salary’s more than enough because I don’t have a husband or kids…
Petra Peitsch 6 months ago
If is your colleague saying this, embarass the shít out of him, If is your boss, look for another job.
#24
Your emails are too direct, we need to work on softening the way you speak to others.
#25
“I’m not a m*lester” — and then proceeds to push me into a corner and tries having his way with me. I reported it, I was then victim blamed and shamed and severely victimized by my direct manager and HR manager. PS, the direct manager was also one of his victims.
#26
“Who’s watching your kids?”
To which I respond “Their father”
“Oh. Is he pretty good with them?”
I said “I hope so”
#27
“Shouldn’t you be painting your nails or something?” This was my first job after uni and he was about 20 years older than me… but we had the same job and salary
Petra Peitsch 6 months ago
"Shouldn't have you been in a more higher up position in your job, giving the age-gap?"
#28
A much senior and older man told me it would have been nice "to put some sand in the office" so I would feel like I were on the beach and I would take my red dress off
#29
"you shouldn't wear those tight pants, I can tell you're not a virgin"
Kate Johnson 6 months ago
I'd say, "Yeah, well you shouldn't wear tight pants either, as it reveals your micro p***s."
#30
Randomly shoved his phone into my hand and proceeded to show me an [adult] video, asking "is this you?" (He was trying to be funny) - I was ✨traumatised✨
#31
I was eating my lunch and dropped a crumb on my lap, much older male co worker asked “can I lick it off”
#32
When the HR guy found out I was married, he said “I didn’t act like a married woman”
#33
“You’re difficult, did you freeze your eggs?" third week on the job...
#34
Called me “unprofessional” to a superior and then came up behind me and gave me a wet willy (licked his finger and stuck it IN MY EAR) at a staff luncheon the following week 🫠 He was the interim head of school, I was his daughter’s English teacher.
Petra Peitsch 6 months ago
I would have slapped the shít out of him as my first, instinctive reaction.
#35
why didn’t get a more girly job? (I am a mechanical engineer)
#37
Not co worker , but a senior manager and stakeholder. Telling me "Why do you need a promotion? To buy more makeup and lipstick? You're not a guy who needs money to run a family"
#39
“Having an affair with a coworker makes work fun to come to”
excuse me?
#40
My old boss told me to unbutton more buttons (before I had an explant) when having dinner with clients to sell more.
#42
Introducing me to a younger male coworker visiting from another office: "This is Molly. Sometimes she comes in looking nice and other times she looks like a mop," in reference to my curly hair that I sometimes straighten.
#43
“How do you want me to give it to you 😏” while handing me orders to process
#44
Not me but a coworker told me this story. They were in a meeting, and when she recommended something, another person said “why are women even in engineering?”. HR was in the room too but they didn't do s**t.
#45
A man from my work I never actually met because he was in another team, made a fake face book profile and started to speak to me from it. I truly thought it was some friends having a laugh till they wrote to me, “saw you in the tea room today and you ignored me” and I was like hmmm what the HELL! So… fast forward to HR being told about it and his manager said to mine “what do you expect? She’s a woman” few years after this post warning, he started again as a new fake profile as an “artist” and tried to pretend to talk to me about art then accidentally let out that it was him and wow had to go back to HR again…. It was ridiculous. Creep.
#46
When are you getting divorced so I marry you. (There was absolutely nothing between us)
#47
One of my colleagues said "how easy it is for women to work you can just go on long maternity leave/vacation whenever you want to" ummm WHAT?
#48
My coworker said I should strip because it pays really well ( I was probably talking about how our company didn't pay enough to realistically live on).
Petra Peitsch 6 months ago
"As a sugar-boy, you would have have earn more. Sadly, you are not qualified for it".
#49
That I have an attitude issue because I won’t speak to him in his private office for 10 minutes everyday
#51
"Are you sure you understand what you're doing?" My position is higher than his
Petra Peitsch 6 months ago (edited)
Oh, I got this a few times. Lucky me, I'm working in gastronomy, where you get your feedback in a few minutes. I always let those "know-it-alls" fail for their first time, because arguing in a service rush, takes more time, than making the dish as I said to be made for the second time, after the guest sent it back. Is also a good and embarassing lesson for know-it-alls.
#52
That if I ate candy it would go straight to my a*s. Reported him to HR and he never spoke to me again.
#53
In the tea room "imagine if I just pushed you down the stairs right now" - really letting the intrusive thoughts out
Ellinor 6 months ago
One time a guy I was arguing about his sexist thought about how men were superior to women because they had more muscles said to me "I could just punch you right now and you wouldn't be able to stop me". I was SO glad we were in a public space, but Gods his smile paired with that sentence scared the fck out of me (because in addition to that what he said was true)
#54
My ex coworker, with whom I really didn't had anything to do, send me randomly a Post from LinkedIn which was Talking about freezing Eggs and Said „i just wanna send this to inform you about it, But don't take it personally“
#55
My old principal at the school I worked at called us all his “daughters” but then joked about being asked why he hired so many young attractive beginning teachers.
Michael Largey 6 months ago
The chief reason for hiring beginning teachers is that they are at the bottom of the pay scale.
#56
“Off the record this job would have been yours if you weren’t going on maternity leave”
#58
I’m a 6’1 tall, busty woman. Once a physically disabled co worker(had a shorter leg, a limp and was very slim) asked him if I’d body slam him into the ground and just lay on him.
#59
Me planning to resign and try to work overseas (after 1 failed attempt) and he goes like “I don’t think overseas is for you… because you did already try it once”
I did resign and I did leave the country. He is still in the same job.
Petra Peitsch 6 months ago
Okay, but how it is gender related? Is "just" the average jealousy.
#60
I am the only girl at the site (fifth year engineering internship)with all construction workers , a coworker said : look what you do to all this men while u r dressed up soo modest, i wonder what would happen here if your clothes were revealing
#61
At a small organization the male director in a room full of women running the org said “when i step down and whatever man takes over”…
Petra Peitsch 6 months ago
I'm not sure, english being not my first language, but isn't "man" is also referring to "mankind" aka. people?
#62
“You’re too professional” was a wild one
Petra Peitsch 6 months ago
Oh, I got it more times. But I think, it's not specifically gender-related. Just company-greed.
#63
“You’re too strong.”
#64
When I was a trainee a partner looked at me from bottom to top and stared at my a** saying : "are you Brazilian?"
#65
"When you started working here I didn't think you'd be able to handle it. Then when you made it and turned out to be one of the best builders it actually made me kinda mad"
#66
I started a new job and within a few days my coworker told me his wife was stalking me on social media.
#67
Idk if it’s the craziest but I still think about it almost 6 years later, When I was pregnant my older, very respectful male coworker asked me if my mucus plug was still intact.
#68
My manager occasionally smacks my a** while commenting on how good it looks today. My wife does not like him
#69
Asked me if I could possibly make him dinner every night as I had a family do could probably make an extra plate.
Oerff On Tour 6 months ago (edited)
"Sure, come to my house and I will fix dinner for you as well. $75 for a starter, $100 per main course, side salad $20, $10 for a small glass of water, soft drinks are $20, alcoholic beverage starting at $50"
#70
That he wanted to stab me to death
Cronecast AtTheRisingMoon 6 months ago
…..? Uh…this needs follow up in terms of what happened next because whereas so many of these are legally actionable in the sexual harassment lawsuit way, this is just overtly menacing in a criminal way. Sweet lords of mercy.
#71
My manager flirted with me when I asked him if he'd stay overtime with us tonight, he replied "I'd do if you ask me to", and he was married with a kid and 10 years older to me
#73
He said I look good in an attractive way, and he is younger than me
Petra Peitsch 6 months ago
If he said just this, and nothing else, I wouldn't find this offensive. Would say "Thanks, how is your girlfriend doing?"
#74
Male colleague, completely out of rage: "You come to work every day and shake your hair like this (imitates the way he notices me shaking my hair)!!" Background: He had another problem with me but like most of the men he wasn't able to communicate his problem adequately.
#75
"Can I make a personal observation? You are extremely good-looking." We'd been talking about the court's website right before this
Tabitha 6 months ago (edited)
That’s when you say that you’re shutting this conversation down right now, as he is obviously no longer able to focus, and has gone off on a ludicrous tangent. Tell him when he can concentrate on the issue at hand and stay on point, you will consider talking to him about it again. I have worked in customer-facing jobs before. Some companies are great about defending you from taking people’s c**p, some are s**t. . When someone suddenly starts getting personal, any good company will tell you to end the conversation right then and there, and to tell them we will talk to them again when they can stick to the subject at hand. Mostly applied to people making complaints and getting nasty about it, but also when the creeps started creeping, and there are plenty of both. If you work some place where they won’t back you up on that, are sure you still look for another job, because the one you’re in will suck your very soul out of you through having to take that kind of mistreatment and no power to stop it.
#76
I’m a barmaid and the manager told me that clients didn’t order because I’m too small and them can’t see me
#77
Get yo scrumptious [butt] out my way. FYI I'm a male and this was said not in jest by another male. That was a weird day
Ilia Bauer 1 month ago
I would be half tempted to show up the next day wearing pants with the word "juicy" written across the b**t area.
#78
Me explaining why I wish that we could get specified carers leave on addition to sick leave (I don't even mean just for women tbh) because I use all my sick leave looking after kids and have to go to work when I am sick.. Him 'yes but why should you be enritled to more leave than me'..... Ok man talk to me when you've got kids.
#79
I am also bored looking at your face.
Petra Peitsch 6 months ago
Hm, that seems to me as reaction to a statement, no matter the gender.
#80
“We can’t promote you because you’re the wrong gender and race.” Yes I’m 100% serious. You see I was a male engineer and we had a strong DEI program. Btw it was the best thing that happened to me because now I work for myself and life is way better. Just keep that in mind while complaining about whatever issues you are having at work.
What do you think ?
Lyone Fein 6 months ago
Not only should inappropriate comments be reported, they should also be punished!
Day Andie 6 months ago
Why does BP have stupid selections? The correct answer should be confront them AND report it!
SpiderWoman13 6 months ago
AND "CONFRONT THEM" - which I chose -- had only 15%????! Just "reporting them" only works if you have some sort of leverage, because HR works to protect the company, not you. If they've said it openly; you confront them openly. It's HOW you do it that matters. For example, you ask "What did you say?" OR "Why did you say that" OR "Did you just say that"? OR "Why?" Loudly enough for everyone to hear. Then wait. Say nothing. And you take it from there. Always firm; always cool - almost detached -- but COMPLETELY IN CHARGE of the situation, and your emotions. It works. Then write a report to HR, and email copies to the CEO AND Public Relations. and "CC" your attorney. See how quickly you get response. They'll whine and say you "Went overboard"...But actually, it will NEVER happen again. And if you're fired or forced to resign, you now have a paper trail to sue them for Unlawful Termination. Which they too, KNOW...
Load More Replies...
tresgatos72 6 months ago
I had a boss in 2004 who said to me - in front of my union rep because we were trying to prove that he was harassing me - that "All married women of childbearing age shouldn't be in the workplace. They should be home taking care of their husbands." My union rep (an older married lady) just about went ballistic. I ended up having to take a year of unpaid leave while the state union fought my case. I was just trying to transfer to another school to get away from that Bible- thumping hypocritical creep, but he wanted me to quit teaching all together. I won and was transferred, but he is still a principal in the district and suffered no repercussions whatsoever.
Kristiina Männiste 6 months ago
My boss, while driving back to the clinic after celebrating international womens day told our financial director that women should not work or wear trousers. Me and our female headnurse were sitting in the back seat of the car- wearing you guessed it - trousers. I politely mentioned, that I never have seen the bosses wife (a doc in the same clinic) wear a skirt or a dress. It got quiet after that...
Load More Replies...
Rick H 6 months ago
Doing contract work for a large corp. Two people working on the same project: an older guy and a younger female intern. Older guy says to her, out of the blue: " you look like that young woman in silence of the lambs". "Jodie foster?""No, the one in the pit.".I broke the silence that followed with a. Loud statement from my cubicle "security has direct lines by the elevator if you feel like you need an escort to your car. Oh, and HR is on the 7th floor."
Stannous Flouride 6 months ago
First- I admire and adore all my sister Pandas on here! Second- It looked like the image searches were for "Obnoxious men who just said something stupid" and "Women looking at obnoxious men just after they said something stupid"
Kevin Hickey 6 months ago
A prominent doosh bag on a major network deflated the tires of a female co-worker so she would have to get a ride home with him. He was married at the time. It was Jesse Watters. And he still has a job, somehow.
Mel in Georgia 6 months ago
I was young and engaged and worked a temporary job as secretary for an older, married company manager. When his regular secretary returned after maternity leave he called me at my next job, telling me that he missed my a$$. I was speechless.
Roberta Surprenant 6 months ago
So happy to have had female employers and supervisors for most of my working years. I have had experience of removing hands from my breasts (came from behind) and setting him "straight".
Donna Harris 1 month ago
I was seven months pregnant and was waitressing at a bar where I made fantastic money. This chunky guy with a big belly told me that he thought it was disgusting that I was working in that condition, that it didn't look right. I replied...."In a couple of months I will again weigh 109 lbs and you will still be a fat slob drinking beer when you should be home with your family...the guys at the table cheered!
Lyone Fein 6 months ago
Not only should inappropriate comments be reported, they should also be punished!
Day Andie 6 months ago
Why does BP have stupid selections? The correct answer should be confront them AND report it!
SpiderWoman13 6 months ago
AND "CONFRONT THEM" - which I chose -- had only 15%????! Just "reporting them" only works if you have some sort of leverage, because HR works to protect the company, not you. If they've said it openly; you confront them openly. It's HOW you do it that matters. For example, you ask "What did you say?" OR "Why did you say that" OR "Did you just say that"? OR "Why?" Loudly enough for everyone to hear. Then wait. Say nothing. And you take it from there. Always firm; always cool - almost detached -- but COMPLETELY IN CHARGE of the situation, and your emotions. It works. Then write a report to HR, and email copies to the CEO AND Public Relations. and "CC" your attorney. See how quickly you get response. They'll whine and say you "Went overboard"...But actually, it will NEVER happen again. And if you're fired or forced to resign, you now have a paper trail to sue them for Unlawful Termination. Which they too, KNOW...
Load More Replies... tresgatos72 6 months ago
I had a boss in 2004 who said to me - in front of my union rep because we were trying to prove that he was harassing me - that "All married women of childbearing age shouldn't be in the workplace. They should be home taking care of their husbands." My union rep (an older married lady) just about went ballistic. I ended up having to take a year of unpaid leave while the state union fought my case. I was just trying to transfer to another school to get away from that Bible- thumping hypocritical creep, but he wanted me to quit teaching all together. I won and was transferred, but he is still a principal in the district and suffered no repercussions whatsoever.
Kristiina Männiste 6 months ago
My boss, while driving back to the clinic after celebrating international womens day told our financial director that women should not work or wear trousers. Me and our female headnurse were sitting in the back seat of the car- wearing you guessed it - trousers. I politely mentioned, that I never have seen the bosses wife (a doc in the same clinic) wear a skirt or a dress. It got quiet after that...
Load More Replies... Rick H 6 months ago
Doing contract work for a large corp. Two people working on the same project: an older guy and a younger female intern. Older guy says to her, out of the blue: " you look like that young woman in silence of the lambs". "Jodie foster?""No, the one in the pit.".I broke the silence that followed with a. Loud statement from my cubicle "security has direct lines by the elevator if you feel like you need an escort to your car. Oh, and HR is on the 7th floor."
Stannous Flouride 6 months ago
First- I admire and adore all my sister Pandas on here! Second- It looked like the image searches were for "Obnoxious men who just said something stupid" and "Women looking at obnoxious men just after they said something stupid"
Kevin Hickey 6 months ago
A prominent doosh bag on a major network deflated the tires of a female co-worker so she would have to get a ride home with him. He was married at the time. It was Jesse Watters. And he still has a job, somehow.
Mel in Georgia 6 months ago
I was young and engaged and worked a temporary job as secretary for an older, married company manager. When his regular secretary returned after maternity leave he called me at my next job, telling me that he missed my a$$. I was speechless.
Roberta Surprenant 6 months ago
So happy to have had female employers and supervisors for most of my working years. I have had experience of removing hands from my breasts (came from behind) and setting him "straight".
Donna Harris 1 month ago
I was seven months pregnant and was waitressing at a bar where I made fantastic money. This chunky guy with a big belly told me that he thought it was disgusting that I was working in that condition, that it didn't look right. I replied...."In a couple of months I will again weigh 109 lbs and you will still be a fat slob drinking beer when you should be home with your family...the guys at the table cheered!
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