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Four legs, cleft hooves, and a mouth with no upper teeth. Two horns, an udder, and a swishy tail. These words create a truly wondrous image - one that comes before your very own eyes as if from a mist, slowly revealing a statuesque picture of a… cow! And we are pretty certain that cows with their wet noses and plate-sized eyes rimmed by luscious lashes deserve all the poetry on Earth. However, to us, poetry comes in a slightly different manner than the rest. You probably know where we are headed here, right? Yep, you guessed it - to us, poetry equals silly puns because having a little loving chortle beats any ballad or sonnet. For us, anyway. And so - this is our list dedicated to cow puns, and to cow puns only.
Out of the many topics for funny wordplays, animal puns are by far our favorite. See, animals are already cute, making all the witticisms about them into inherently cute puns. So, a double whammy - it’s fun, AND it’s cute. Try and beat this combo; we’re waiting! Also, talking specifically about these adorable puns dedicated to cows, they’re as rich with phonetic jokes as the sea is with fishes. And while a ‘moo’ is no siren’s song (as declared by many), to us, the very same ‘moo’ is the most calming sound to which we’d like to wake and fall asleep. So, incorporating it into a clever pun or two is basically a must.
But we’ve probably already done enough to show our devotion to these large ruminants, and now it’s exactly the right time to skip to the animal puns themselves. They are, just as always, a bit further down, and once you are there, give your vote for the best puns of the bunch. Also, it would be kind of you to share this article with your friends - we think they, too, would appreciate some cows and hilarious puns injected into their day.
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#1
Got me cow-pletely charmed
How do cows say “thank you” for dinner in Spanish?
Moo-chas grass-ias.
RELATED:
#2
Call me a mind-moo-nreader
Déjà Moo is the feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.
#4
Well, That’s One Way to Brand Noise
Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
#6
Dad jokes hitting different today
What did the bull say to his son when he was going off to school?
Bison!!!
#8
Udderly Lost in Translation
What happens when you talk to a cow? It goes in one ear and out the udder!
#9
Udderly Unbelievable Tale
Did you hear about the famous cow? They say her milk is Legend Dairy.
#10
Udderly adorable bedtime vibes
What did the mother cow say to the baby cow? It’s pasture bedtime.
#11
Got milk and meds?
Where do cows get all their medicine?
The farmacy.
#12
Money mooooves differently here
What do you call the cow who hit it big playing the lottery? A cash cow.
#14
Udderly disappointing but hilarious
What do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk? A milk dud.
#15
Plot twist: it wasn’t the moon’s fault
Why did the cow jump over the moon? Because the farmer’s hands were cold.
#16
Candy-coated cowboy vibes
If a cowboy is happy, does that make him a… Jolly Rancher?
#18
When Pasture Drama Hits Peak Mood
What do you get when you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow? A baaaaaaad mooooood.
#19
Mood: Spotted and Unheard
What did the cow say to its therapist? “I feel seen but not herd.”
#21
Well, that backfired quickly
What time is it when a cow sits on your hat?
Time to get a new hat!
#23
Well, That’s Udderly Surprising
I don’t even know what to tell you about this divine bovine I just saw. I mean, just, like, holy cow…
#24
That joke really raised the steaks
Why was the cow so afraid of messing up? Because the steaks were high.
#25
Plot twist: he milked it dry
Why did the farmer stop telling cow puns? Because he butchered every joke.
#26
Milking It for All It’s Worth
What does a farmer talk about when she’s milking a cow?
Udder nonsense.
#30
This Joke Rode Right In
What do you call a redneck motorcycle? Cow-a-sock-ee.
#31
Moo-sic to My Ears
What’s a cow’s favorite James Taylor song?
Something in the Way She Moos.
#33
When cow chips bring the heat
I have a farmer friend who heats his milk products to 212 degrees Fahrenheit using cow chips. Yep. It’s called pasture-ized milk.
#34
When the cows threw in the towel
All the farmers cows stopped producing milk… It was a case of real udder chaos.
#35
Moo-ving Beyond Biology
Did you hear that they genetically engineered a milk cow to have no teats? It was udderly pointless.
#36
Udderly done with this nonsense
What did the cow say to her misbehaving calf?
I am not amoosed by you.
#38
Cow traffic laws hit different
Why did the cow get a ticket? Because of a mooing violation.
#40
Stockholm Syndrome, but make it moo
Why doesn’t Sweden export it’s cattle? It wants to keep its Stockholm.
#41
Plot twist: Cow-leted protection
Why did the Secret Service surround the president with dozens of cows?
They were trying to beef up security.
#45
Dad jokes hitting different today
What did the cow say to the cheese? "I am your father."
#47
Thick Skin, Zero Drama
Why is it so hard to hurt a cow’s feelings? They’re skin’s as thick as leather.
#49
Guess the cow’s family tree just leveled up
Cow telling her family history: My grandfather was a knight. He was Sir Loin.
#50
Classic cow drama right here
Why was the farmer mad at his cow? The excuse she gave was a bunch of bull.
#54
Because even cows need kickstands now
It is now legal to park bovines with foot coverings in motorcycle parking spaces. They’re officially labeled as Cowasockies.
#55
Moo-ving on math jokes
What do you get when you take a bovine and divide its circumference by its diameter? A cow pi.
#57
Classic Dad Joke Energy
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cow says. Cow says who? No, silly. Cow say MOOOOOOOO.
#58
Classic joke, still gold
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow, wh — MOOOOOO!
#60
Udderly Suspicious Activity
What do you call it when one cow spies on another cow? A steak out.
#62
Udderly hilarious, not gonna lie
What do you call a cow that’s laying down? Ground beef.
#64
High Stakes Drama
My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high!
#67
God-level farm jokes
What do you call a cow that can part water? Moo-ses.
#70
This joke cracked me up
What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk? An udder failure.
#73
Udderly Too Fancy for Ballet
Why was the cow banned from ballet class? It kept practicing its Dairy Air.
#75
Cow’s got receipts, hold the drama
What does the cow do when she’s got leverage? Milks it for all it’s worth.
#76
Trust issues? Not this guy.
How did the bull earn the farmer’s trust?
He said, “Seriously, have I ever steered you wrong?”
#77
Moo-ving On Too Fast
Why couldn’t the cow learn? Everything went in one ear and out the udder.
#78
Moo-ving Past That Joke
Why don’t cows understand what you say? Because it goes in one ear and comes out the udder!
#79
Moo-ving on from dairy drama
What do you call a cow who’s forgotten how to make milk? Udder-ly confused.
#81
Udderly Dramatic Showdown
Did you hear about the two cows who fought to the death?
It was crazy, their lives were at steak.
#85
Cow that really stands out
How can you tell if a cow is exceptional? It’s outstanding in its field.
#92
Moo-ving into War Zone
What do you call a fight between two herds of cows? A cattle battle.
#93
Udderly Classic Date Night
What did the cow and bull do for their first date? Dinner and a moooovie.
#96
Stable logic, low-key genius
Why does a milking stool only have three legs?
Because the cow has the udder.
#97
Well, that’s one way to dodge snacks in space
Why did the astronauts take a box of cereal and a cow with them? In case they bypassed the milky way!
#99
Un-bull-ievably Funny
How do cows laugh? Moo-haha.
#103
Well, that’s a rare cut of humor
My butcher gave me beef from a female cow. I said, “I believe this is a Miss Steak.”
#104
When Cows Go Full Drama Queen
I saw a cow spontaneously catch on fire the other day. Guess you could call it a rare experience.
#106
Udderly Irresistible Pun Alert
I have a decent joke about a cow, but it’s pretty offensive, so I’ll probably need to take it down. Or, you know, have it remooooooved.
#107
Peak bovine relaxation
What is an evening of self-care for a cow? Moovies, moosic, and mooisturizer.
#109
Moo-ving on up
What did the cow say at the end of the workday? An udder day, an udder dollar.
#110
That Pun Landed Like a Yak
What do you call a Russian bovine covered in lichen? Moscow.
#111
Low-key livestock ninjas
What did one cow thief say to the other before their big heist?
Put on your cow-moo gear — we need to be sneaky.
#112
Well, that’s udderly peaceful
What do you call it when two cows live together in harmony? Cowhabitation.
#113
Udderly Overdramatic?
Cow farmers say their job is hard, but I think they’re just milking it.
#114
When Even Cows Start Complaining
It’s so hot outside that my cow started giving powdered milk!
#115
When your bank account’s basically farmland
Why don’t cows have any money? Because farmers milk them dry.
#117
Beefing Up Friendship Drama
Why did the cow start a fight with his buddy? There was real beef between them!
#118
Family drama level: farm edition
What happens when a calf gives her mom attitude? She tans its hide.
#119
Mood swings between these two bulls, honestly.
Why were the two bulls ignoring each other? They had a lot of beef.
#121
Farm puns that milk laughs
What did the cow say to the other cow on the hill?
I’m udder-neath you.
#122
When cows throw shade, not milk
What did the farmer say when his cow wouldn’t produce milk? This is udderly problematic!
#125
When the cow keeps repeating itself
What do you call the feeling that you’ve heard this bull before? Deja-moo.
#128
Udderly Brilliant Tracking
How do ranchers keep track of all their cows? They keep a cattle-log.
#130
When Bessie’s mood is your deadline reminder
Make sure you show up on time, otherwise Bessie will have a cow.
#135
Unbeefably Clucking Genius
What do you get when you cross a cow and a rooster? Roost beef.
#138
I’m not saying I’m a genius, but that got me.
What do you get when you cross a cow and a dog? Hound beef.
#139
Udderly hilarious, not gonna lie
What did the cow say to all her friends? I am legen-dairy.
#140
Moo you didn’t just say that
What did the Auntie cow say to her niece? “You’re so udderly cute!”
#143
Guess cows need their own version of AirPods
Why do cows wear bells? Their horns don’t work.
#144
Plot twist: Milkshake or mystery?
If a cow is cold, you get a milkshake. But what do you get when the cow is even colder? A dead cow.
#149
That Pun Was Udderly Too Much
Animal News Network had to fire its bovine news anchorman. Because it was unrelia-bull.
#150
Udderly Romantic Night Out
What did the cow and bull do for their first date? Dinner and a moovie.
#152
Hold Your Hooves, It’s Udderly Important
Seize the moo-ment!
Casey Howe 2 years ago
u imbasils copied my agg groups name and mad eit a cow pun that is just not okay I didn't think copy right was allowe in sa
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