People Cannot Stop Posting Corona Jokes And Here Are 50 Of The Best Ones This Week (New Pics)
In a time of trouble and anxiety, humor and laughter can go a long way to help us feel better and make the situation a little more bearable.
Yes, the coronavirus is still ravaging the world. Yes, the number of cases has surpassed 4 million globally. But some people continue to fight the pandemic with jokes and the new ones are just as good as the ones they shared at the beginning of the outbreak.
From ridiculous conspiracy theories to canceled vacations, continue scrolling to see what everyone has come up with this week, and check out our previous compilations: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, and part 9.
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Super! I said weeks ago that I thought people would start doing this! You could also have flaps that reveal different facial expressions, for when no one can see you pout - I dubbed them EmoT-shirts :)
Load More Replies...I heard some doctors were doing something similar when dressed in full PPE
Deeeeeefinitly not some creepy guy PRETENDING to be Steve... 😂
Or pretending to be "Steve" while he robbed the local bank. Honestly masks gloves who would know?
Load More Replies...Great idea. I think one reason I've started getting depressed in quarantine is because masks add to the isolation - they muffle your speech (both you and the other person) and hide your expressions.
From me to you, a hug given freely and with well wishes. Connected by rainbows, our energies will sync. Put on some boppy music, and we'll make fools of ourselves dancing.
Load More Replies...this guy is really helpful. wearing masks all the time makes it hard to see people smile.
There is a whole dedicated service about this joke. called https://MeTee.shop Untitled-1...9a-png.jpg
Ferne Pearlstein, the director of The Last Laugh, a documentary about the role of humor among Jews during, and after, the Holocaust, told The New York Times that while doing research for it she and her team “found that humor was not uncommon — and was used as a coping mechanism in a situation of almost unimaginable horror, as a means of self-defense, a counterattack for people who had few, if any, other ways of fighting back, and even as just simple diversion.”
One Auschwitz survivor, Renee Firestone, said in the film that she could not help but see the bleak irony after the infamous Nazi physician Josef Mengele told her during an examination: “if you survive this war, you better have your tonsils removed.”
“The instinct to laugh shows that we were still human beings while in the camps,” Ms. Firestone explained. “This inner sense of humor is what kept me alive.”
Our cat is obviously happy that we're around 24/7.When I leave the house I can hear her complaining and she's so happy when I'm back. The dog acts the entire day like "*opens one eye* gimme a break *Keeps on snoring*".
Not true at all. my cats think its great I am home. They get walkies and cuddles when they want, plus lunch
what about the fish? they all think that we stay home to watch them and be lazy? hmmmmmmm??
My cat loves having me home, but cries when I leave my apartment to get the mail. She expects I will spend my stimulus check all on cat toys, cat food , treats and kitty litter.
No, our cats love us and love having us at home because now they have warm keyboards to sprawl on.
And it isn't anything new. If we were to go back even further and take a look at, for example, the bubonic plague of the 14th century (also known as the Black Death), we would discover that humor was important then as well. While the disease killed large parts of the population of Europe, it also spawned the pointed satire of the Church and other authorities in “Decameron,” by Boccaccio. The classic concerns a group of young people who flee pestilence-ridden Florence for a series of villas in the countryside.
So don't worry about releasing a chuckle when scrolling through these pics. It’s natural to be amused by some of them.
Walmart certainly seem to attract a lot of ummm interesting characters.
Try working the overnight shift at one. If you think what shows up during the day "ummm interesting", it's amazing what shows up at night. Lets just say there are fewer inhibitions at night.
Load More Replies...Just search for "People of Walmart"... Unless you've got a weak stomach...
I went to Walmart today and they were kind enough to give me one because I have zero access to them. It wasn't that I didn't want to wear one but I couldn't afford the $50 price tag for 25
pajamas PURE LAZINESS there's a time and place for everything. wearing your sleeping clothes tin public isn't one of them. be civil and quit showing what a troll you are.
Load More Replies...Went to Wal-Mart three days ago. Two employees didn't have their noses covered, and one manager didn't even have a mask and with in three feet of another employee to tell them something. There I was mask and gloves.
Tomi has nothing but willful ignorance and hate to show.
Load More Replies...When are people going to realise that so called ‘healthy’ people could just be asymptomatic?The lockdown is supposed to protect the vulnerable people that you might pass your germs to who, if infected, might not have such a mild case like you.
The right to free speech is magnificent. We find out who the idiots are a lot sooner...
It's funny that right-wing preppers who said they could survive years in their home are suddenly unable to live without haircuts. 🤷
WE CAN GET FOOD, WE CAN ORDER CLOTHES, WE CAN WATCH TV, WE CAN BROWSE THE WEB, WE CAN READ A BOOK, YOU HAVE ALL THE MONEY YOU NEED, AND WE CAN SEE ANYONE WE WANT OVER FACETIME, ZOOM, GOOGLE MEET/DUO, AND ANY OTHER VIDEO CHAT YOU CAN FRIGGIN THINK OF. UNLESS YOU ARE STARVING AND NAKED, GET OVER YOURSELF!!
Exactly. As a law firm, they are covering their legal asses, sure. But sometimes that does coincide with doing the right thing.
Load More Replies...I live in Dallas, I wanna see this guy's face so I can STAY THE F*** AWAY FROM HIM
Yes, my first reaction was...OMG I actually live in proximity to that idiot!
Load More Replies...That falls under "Terroristic threats", by law, in many jurisdictions.
To the people questioning why you would be fired for threatening to shoot a security guard simply for doing their job (which is also for your own dumb benefit) - a man was murdered in Michigan last week in just these circumstances. Told someone they couldn't enter without a state-mandated mask, so they came back and shot him in the back of the head. I can't even find the f*****g words...smh https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-52540266
People don't get it: your test being negative doesn't mean you're immune. You were negative the moment you have been tested. Nothing else does it says.
What kind of absolute f*****t thinks it's OK to post this on his workplace blog?
When you name your employer in your post, then it not a private comment any more.
Load More Replies...I'd loved to have seen when reality b***h slapped him letting him know whose really in charge.
Or say, " Stand up and move around 5 minutes. Or else, you are at risk of Vascular occlusion."
Prime is even worse, they automatically start the next episode 3 seconds after the last one ended, making you go from, 'ok, I gotta get some stuff done' to 'ok, well, since it's already started, I'll just watch one more'. I ended up watching the entire season of Upload in one day because of that.
Gee, I must not be taking this staying at home seriously. I shower everyday and I am wearing pants.
am I the only one that actually sets my laptop on a stool by the shower so I can continue watching Netflix while I shower?
I'll tell you what, a friend of mine says her second cousin knows someone whose wife heard it from an irrefutable source: we are all going to die. Foxxy, do you think that there is a conspiracy behind this?
Load More Replies...My co-worker says there's no pandemic. It's just testing people before 5G. Earlier he said it was a lie meant to destroy the elections. He's also the only person at work who bought enough masks to change them every hour of the shift. Who does he believe?
OMG!!!! most freaking difficult choice of my life!!!! what should i choose???!!!!
High school dudes probably voted for trump so, there's your answer.
Best one yet! Describes our current administration and White House response to a "T."
The spread of covid19 is spread through two factors. 1. How dense the population is and 2. How dense the population is
Do we care about u??? If u dont shop in any places then may u starve to death
Anyway, shots were fired and it was resolved in the American way.
It makes me laugh when I see a post in which the person complains about a business that is temporarily closed and writes that (s)he is going to boycott the business when it reopens.
Lock down was announced a week before our holiday. I was also panning on scattering my dad's ashes since it was one of his favourite holiday destination. Will just have to wait for a next year (holding thumbs)
Think of it as sharing one more adventure with your dad. If you have tons of journals like a 2020 journal, make adventures with your dad and imagine the advice and conversations you’d have with him. I am deeply sorry for your loss, and think it’s lovely of you to plan something so special.
Load More Replies...If we keep going as we are in NZ (11 new cases in the past week, zero today, all traced to their sources) we'll be holidaying this year. It's allowed from the day after tomorrow, but I'm being cautious. In our own country only though, which our tourism industry desperately needs.
Add in: Bill Gates will visit the city today to force vaccinate with liquid mind-controll chips, disguised as a stranger. You better keep 1,5 metres distance from everyone you see!
Load More Replies...If this means those morons are wearing a mask from now on, please keep inventing.
This wasn't a response from an official Costco social media manager but from an impersonator, yet the main complaint is real
I live in South africa Where I work every person entering the shop MUST wear a mask covering your nose and mouth. About a week ago a person removed his mask and I asked him to put it back on. He started yelling at me that I will not undermine him and he is from Viljoenskroon. I still don't understand why he felt it neccesary to tell me that?? Any way It is a small little town in the Free state province. Google maps it. Any way I asked him to leave the shop and get some manners too before he return. I am sure he was high on a home brew beer or some thing else.
I'm glad that you're safe and genuinely sorry that you had to deal with him.
Load More Replies...Even if it did come from an official Costco social media manager, this response would make me want to shop there more anyway...
We don't have Costco in my country but it still made me wish I could shop there! I was disappointed that it wasn't a genuine staff member.
Load More Replies...It's people like this that make me embarrassed to be a Costco member. Do you really think $60@ year gives you permission to act like a spoiled toddler?
this is awesome on costcos part! its SO weird to me that people cant follow simple instructions lmfao. thats like people not following rules of your home like if you want people to take their shoes off.
You do realize it was a fake account, right? Now, I wish it was real, sadly it wasn't.
Load More Replies...These gag accounts responding to people are on one hand hilarious, but as a moderator - nightmare to tidy up after!
Didn't even realize it was a gag account. I was applauding Costco.
Load More Replies...Being an introvert who lives with other people has its disadvantages.
Load More Replies...I'm not anti-social, I just understand how to entertain my own brain and don't rely on others to provide for mental stimulation. I also trust my fellow humans enough to care for each other without constant reassurance in the form of other wise unnecessary social niceties. While also truly enjoying the company and input of a small group of friends. It gives me space to focus on what actually matters to me as a person without jumping through all kinds of hoops in the hopes of not losing my position in society. :D
Wonderful answer! Totally explains it! Too bad it wouldn't fit on a tee shirt.
Load More Replies...I have been training for this my entire life (I have Autism and struggle interacting and would much rather be at home)
The change is that I don't need to find excuses to don't meet people and I don't have to speak on the phone because many services are closed. Now we use email.
True. I am an introvert who has Aspergers! Yay, no one trying to hug me. Yay, church is online.
Now people think I'm using good judgment instead of being unfriendly.
This is my sick me: if I'm gonna survive this and can ever again leave my bed again I will live a meaningful life, every single day! When I recovered: Just kidding.
I've repainted the bedroom. But it was not as fun as I interpreted, took me 2 weeks :)
Very true words but remember that coffee, wine, and snack breaks still cuts into our productive time.
Still haven't put away my Cmas decorations. It's May. Been off 6 weeks.
Perfect. No closets have been cleaned (actually not much has been cleaned). Lucky I even take a shower every other day. Thanks, Anna
It should not be, but the world isn’t just now effed up. What do you tell your children about that? What have people with young kids been informing their children about this?
Load More Replies...Where I live some gun psycho brought a rocket launcher to a protest. He then told the media he was a “peaceful protester”. I’ve never seen a bigger oxymoron
If you’re in a position to, stay home and spread the word. My grandfather just came back from the hospital, everyone is rushing to his side while wearing face masks. I’ve been his caretaker and translator even as a teen, but I’m sitting this one out for myself and for him. This is literally the only time that your selflessness is be home and learning a new skill or just chilling.
I had to say things that I’m not proud of, and I can not stop them from seeing him. Don’t wait to be there for people. Right now, tackle your vices, learn new skills, do the creative things you’ve always wanted to do, and gather your energy and study up. Use the love languages you’ve learned and employ them whenever you can in appropriate spaces/recipients.
Load More Replies...And if you can't breathe with a mask on, use a protective screen. But use SOMETHING They handed them out in my hometown for kids who are not gonna use masks correctly.
One could add that you don't need to breathe at all six feet under. Personally, I prefer six feet apart.
Masks do not protect you from the virus, it slows sown the virus from infecting others
Dr. kermit the frog something is better than nothing, no thanks for your input
Load More Replies...He and Keith Richards are going to outlive us all. Viruses wouldn't dare try to enter their bodies.
I dare anyone to find something that can kill Iggy that he hasn't already tried... I'll wait.
I don't know, I used to say the same thing about Lemmy...
Load More Replies...Got me. I was really waiting for Iggy Pop to say something earth shattering and then......
It's hard to comprehend how fast people forget what happened just a few weeks ago.
Load More Replies...Why are we surprised that ignorant and selfish people will continue to be the way they were before this? Alas, they are the ones who will feed into recovery in their special way. I just can’t comprehend going back to normalcy with so much loss in life and trust.
the real losses are trust in so-called leaders who use fear to control, deny known remedy to corona virus and tell people to wear masks and stay in -- but do not share ways to boost immunity with Vit. C, D and zinc, and do not remind us that after ten days a person heals and is immune for life from covid, empowering herd immunity. Be real. Trust yourself, not what you are being fed.
Load More Replies...The Vietnam War killed ~55k Americans in about 11 years. COVID-19 did that in 2 months. No biggie
Don't forget how imperative it is to have ya nails done too...omg...
This goes way beyond sarcasm. There are too many people who would take it as a sign that it's okay to get up a group to go to the beach, etc.
Because it's all made up by the fake media. /sarcasm/. Is this a natural selection moment?
Annnnnd get our nails done and get a haircut.......yup why not?
She's a little confused, but she's got the spirit!
Load More Replies...I have a sneaking suspicion that the reason why gun sales went way up in the US during the beginning of the pandemic was that people heard discussions about PPE, Personal Protective Equipment - and so they went and bought a gun... Talk about having a one-track mind.
I mean....she is wearing a fabulous mask. Not everyone is able to get one.
CincyReds someday you got to use a bit of your brain
Load More Replies...Oh no, oh no. Run for your lives. This man just said bless her heart. We all know what that means. RUN
Load More Replies...That used to be the seat of the people who would collect the payment for the passages (idk the name in English). That's why it looks like that.
Load More Replies...I haven't worn a bra since 2008.... and that was only once, on a drunken dare...
I completely agree! I wear huge heavy duty underwire bras on this huge babies so going without for 8 weeks is glorious. It will definitely be hard to go back.
Pay what?! Would you please elaborate? In The Netherlands I pay about € 40 a month including the latest high end Samsung.
Load More Replies...Sounds like there is a dystopian program which is tracking people who came into close contact (CC) with an infected Covid 19 person!!!
like I said before they are not the sharpest tools in the box, just dumb tools
I've been paying T-Mobile $24-25 a month since 2000. When my block phone gave out I got an unlocked Nokia E63 phone from an Amazon marketplace shop. I'm about ready to buy another and keep my grandfathered rate. Since I live in a dead zone why pay for more?
Now some YouTube recordings of the orchestra... You just saved a lot of money!
That is brilliant being from Australia it's very funny - and true. Thanks for this one.
Load More Replies...if lock down has taught me anything it's those plates will need washing twice
It's like the magical thinking we see from Trump. "If I say something, it's like it really happened."
'Stupid is knowing the truth, seeing the truth, but still believing the lies.' The question is why?
Load More Replies...Demonstrating how extremely dangerous ignorance and arrogance are.
Load More Replies...Im american and this makes sense, people are idiots "Oh, there's a pandemic? Too bad im bored! herpdaderpdaderp"
Even in NZ I've seen people say "people are fed up and not following the rules anyway, so we may as well lower the restrictions". If anything, that's a reason to ramp them up.
That's because the moron they elected (I didn't vote for him!) honestly believes he knows better than the CDC and actual medical professionals. I can't begin to express I much I hate this idiot.
Maybe the survivors of this whole thing will be, on average, those with more self-control and higher IQs. Natural selection. I wish, anyway. Of course, that's not REALLY the case, since innocent and responsible people can still be infected and die. : (
parents you play doing the nasty, you pay. Next time use a contraceptives lol
Load More Replies...Bet you're willing to support that teacher's pay raise legislation now.
My 13 year old returns to school on Monday after 8 weeks at home. I'll miss seeing her at lunch every day and having someone to walk the dog with. :-(
Haha I work in a school and when a parent recently dropped his kid off he said to me- this is the best day I've had in months . Haha
the fact that these kids being homeschooled by parents who are drinking at 10am and dont know any of the math ( i dont either im not judging, just saying) blows my mind lmao. maybe give the kids a fricken break while all this is happening. there are other ways to teach them and keep them occupied without assigning MORE work than they'd have if they were still going to school.
.....parents who don't feed their kids because they spent the money on booze, how sad is that?
Load More Replies...Where are all the mombies screaming about how perfect Jaiyney is? I'll take being childfree over being a hypocrite any day 😂😂
Hahaha, in Japan you can buy used underwear in vending machines.
Ahh, actually that was my fault..... I pushed them into the vending machine because i thought it would wash them.
Load More Replies...Yes, it's disgusting that so many companies are taking advantage of COVID-19 for PR purposes
You notice it’s always the companies who pay their employees poorly at that? And don’t even get me started on the hospitals refusing hazard pay to first responders yet still has the money to make commercials thanking them.
Absolutely. So sick and tied of big business SO MANY OF THEM saying "in this uncertain times.. We in this together... and here for you" when overcharging us, putting small businesses out of business and still collecting on loans where people are receiving no income.
I'm so tired of these ads. Who is meeting to come up with them, filming them, and acting in them while we're in lockdown? Why spend all the money on a feel good new ad when you could have actually made a difference in a community with that money?
Exactly. Instead of appreciation days and clapping (which are nice) we campaign for better working conditions and better pay.
A thousand times yes. How do we do this? Please chime in while we have the time and the pent up energy.
Load More Replies...Yeah, how come there is no CEO Appreciation Week? Asking for a friend,...
Better conditiond+better pay isn't something business wants to hear!
What about that next person who is hired to replace the worker who improved his/her ability and moved up, Martin Donovan?? As I said, somebody has to do those minimum paying jobs.
Load More Replies...My boss gave me roses and wine. Best Nurses Week gift I've ever gotten.
If tRump honestly believes that drinking bleach will cure Coronavirus, and if White House staff have tested positive, why doesn't he put his money where his big mouth is?
He was unclear on where to insert the light but I have a flashlight and a recommendation.
Load More Replies...Wait, wasn’t it recommended to inject it into yourself? With a syringe? I can’t tell which is worse.
Oh, so people who have no business with health have been unlearned from the start.
Load More Replies...You woke up in the middle of a nightmare. I can't say enough about your bad timing.
Tell that to the kids who are forced to square dance in elementary school.
"cooties" refers to head lice, but the phrase has been around so long now that people just mean they find other people icky and try to avoid them. Generally it's an early grade school thing..
Load More Replies...wowwwwww i also feel like this is the one i have used more than anything else :D
So now it’s suddenly acceptable to have your own bread basket?! I was so wronged. The gas station I frequent removed their hand sanitizers (to save money and time) about a month before it hit the US....
Selfish a******s. I want to say serve themselves right but it doesn't just effect them.
Yes, their parents/grandparents shouldn't have to foot the bill for their stupidity.
Load More Replies...Very selfish of these people. Someone actually posted on Facebook that it is her right to go back to work and get back to her life, the government has no business stopping them. As a high-risk person, I thinked her profusely for allowing me to stay home and work for the rest of my natural life. My husband nailed it this morning... no one knows how to interact with strangers. I was raised to think about how my actions affect others. A tantrum at school interrupts class and keeps the teacher from doing her job, so figure out a way to calm down. Talking during church keeps others from hearing the word. I taught my son the same thing. Hence, we believe we're doing what we SHOULD do to protect not only ourselves, but also everyone else we are around. Thanks to our current administration, specifically, people have forgotten how to cooperate and compromise with other humans. It's all attack and defer and lie. TRUTH PEOPLE!
Good riddance.. I feel that if people want to be ignorant and protest that this virus is fake and that they "want haircuts" then so be it.. get the virus, be sick/die and be gone so that the rest of us who take it seriously and take precautions can move on and start living again. A little harsh? Sure.. but I can't stand these people and it makes me laugh when they actually end up sick.
Natural selection. Let the idiots take themselves out,.
Load More Replies...What jerks! Their freedom ends where the next person's nose begins. A big part of liberty is responsibility. You do not deserve freedom unless you can exercise self-discipline.
Wisconsinite here. We're not all this stupid. And these folks got exactly what they deserved.
And now the order is running out it NEEDS to stay in place, we haven't reached our peak yet
Your pc? I guess it's fine if you don't have to work after that.
Load More Replies...I'm not a hypochondriac, but I always thought that was gross. I had my kids blow out the candles on their own cupcake.
I agree- I have never been comfortable with that tradition
Load More Replies...Now that I'm thinking about it...eating cake after someone blows on it is rather unsanitary...
There was a video went viral last year on how Mitt Romney blow the candles on his cake. We should learn from him. (He took each candle out and blow it individually).
Did he set the place on fire before he reached the last one?
Load More Replies...I miss the self-service bakery at the supermarket. Want just one bagel? Help yourself! It's gonna be a long time before that comes back, if ever.
Yeah, I stopped doing that years ago after realizing blowing out birthday candles is spraying saliva all over the cake...
When you think about toddlers and kids, that statement becomes, 'Blown Spit all over it.'
Whoah! Never even thought of that! Thank goodness nobody can come over to visit.
This is really scary for me because I say this to my husband every time he goes out to buy something!
The thing is.. you know why you’re being confined. The orca doesn’t so it has much more reason so do that ..
Imagine living in an empty 5' by 5' room for the rest of your life.
need a 'love' button for comments like these girl..chuckle..
Load More Replies...This could be a "f**k you!" OR a cloud simulation of a d**k pick. It's a win either way!
If you squint, you can kind of see Pinocchio. Or a frog with a long nose.
Uh, actually, if women were earning less they lose more now because their $0.79 didn't go as far in the first place.. "Equal pay for equal work."
yeah? well, it especially sucks that women on average get paid less than men. if anything, you deserve it. so quit complaining, ok? ♡
I'm waiting for he zombies. We've not had them yet. Oh wait, yes we have. Saw a pic of people protesting in Washington DC.
I work from home now, hopefully permanently. I will no longer be able to use inclement weather as an excuse to call in sick 😆
Depends on which side of the "big pond" you are.
Load More Replies...The trick is to have a monochrome wardrobe and the same things in multiples. Am I wearing the same shirt 5x or a fresh one? You’ll never know.
I. Sorry if my above comment was offensive. It was meant to be a joke but I understand. Spell pajamas however you like I really don't care. Sorry.
Load More Replies..."The parachute has slowed our rate of descent. We can take it off now"
"We didn't die after jumping from the airplane. Clearly the parachute wasn't really necessary."
Load More Replies...Well if you read any of the right wing literature, that's all fake news and scare tactics.
Pretty sure people are reading this wrong ;) Kane is agreeing and saying that people who feel the country needs opening seem to correlate to the group of people who tend to have conservative ideas are the ones not wanting to believe this news because to them it's fake. Which is all tied together by stupidity and overrating of how important they are.
Load More Replies...You are very wise for a frog, Kermit. But that's none of my business.
Seems stupid to think that there are deaths from Covid when hospitals are faking death certificates so they can make extra money. But that's none of my business.
btw-If you look up my name on YT you can watch me on the first season of the US version of 'WWTBAMillionaire?'
Load More Replies...Yeah just like all the american enterprises in the UK stealing Billions of ££££££ in tax from the Brits and other countries......🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
Load More Replies...Damn. So I guess I have to say no even if proposed with onion rings. 😭
I have to wonder, if they doubled what they pay people to give them a living wage, and doubled their prices to cover it, would people still go there? Especially if BK did it unilaterally, would people go there instead of the other places and pay double because they support paying people living wages?
They wouldn't have to double prices if everyone at the top (especially investors) took a large pay cut, and they stopped advertising on TV.
Load More Replies...Burger King employs more people than YOU do, Jordan. Burger King also sells me more cheap, tasty food than YOU do, Jordan. JORDAN...?
Yeah I mean the workers should make $45 an hour so that I can pay $128 for a hamburger because we all know that BK is a career.
Or looking at others to blame where there shouldn’t be any place for it. Step down or shut up so more capable people could handle it. Impeding the process and looking more stupid is not a good look.
Load More Replies...The UFO videos were originally released a couple of years back though so I don't know why people are claiming they're a new distraction.
Load More Replies...BP, please tell me how come the comment I posted simply disappeared, and when I wrote it and posted it again, BP informs me in red letters that I have already posted it? But it is nowhere to be seen? What about the rest of you Pandas? Have you had comments all of a sudden disappear, your own or other people's?
I had a comment that didn't seem to post but then later on was there several times. I think it was my tech at fault though.
Load More Replies...Did anyone wonder why the Department of Justice dropped its case against Michael Flynn? Now you know.
Me! I 've mentioned it several times. It was also a full moon. Seriously.
For me it was actually Thursday, March 13th. That was the last day of normalcy. I actually remember because I work as a lunch lady and there was supposed to be a big lunch planned for the kids on March 14th, because it was Pi day. It didn't happen.
That wasn’t the last normal day for me, it was the first day of imprisonment as my school issued the COVID-19 email and i had a cold with dry cough and diarrhea...
COVID-19 made me realize that I made the right choice by being child-free.
Saaaaaaaaaaaaaame. My dog is more than enough for me, thanks.
Load More Replies...Lsai Aeon, you're saying it's the sole job of women to have a child or have children? That is their only purpose? That is the reason they exist? WHAT THE HELL? (I'm a guy btw) It would actually do the world some good to not have children, and if you really actually want kids, to adopt. But my question still stands. WHAT THE HELL?!!
My hubby and I have LITERALLY thanked God that our kids are all legal adults now! This would be a f'ing disaster with school-aged kids. I pity and respect those parents!
Oh, I feel for PARENTS! God Bless you all. How completely amazing. Well told.
How have you managed to save? We are spending more in isolation than before, especially on bloody groceries.
Easy. No eating out or takeaways, no extra petrol expenditure, no after school activities and clubs for the kids etc, etc.
Load More Replies...It's been more than a year that my wife and I have been saying we needed to cut on eating out. We always had a reason to break our "cook and stay home" rule. We finally could do it and we saw 30% decrease in spending. Now, next step, cut on food deliveries ...
Perhaps, this is a good time, make a list, transportation, lunch out, order in, the theater, etc; it would be interesting, a post just for this, I am retired, so I have no idea !!!
I've saved a lot on gas, because I don't drive anywhere now. Groceries cost more when other people buy them for us. Also, some insurance companies are giving discounts to new and existing customers, because, with people driving so much less, there are fewer accidents and fewer payouts for them. It looks like generosity, but they are losing nothing. If the lockdown continues through the summer, they will be making money hand over fist, so to speak. At least they are giving back some of the costs to their customers. This is an ethics check for insurance companies that don't do this.
I've saved a lot on gas, because I don't drive anywhere now. Groceries cost more when other people buy them for us. Also, some insurance companies are giving discounts to new and existing customers, because, with people driving so much less, there are fewer accidents and fewer payouts for them. It looks like generosity, but they are losing nothing. If the lockdown continues through the summer, they will be making money hand over fist, so to speak. At least they are giving back some of the costs to their customers. This is an ethics check for insurance companies that don't do this. I save a lot of money on gas, because I don't drive much anymore. Groceries cost more if other people buy them for us. Also, some insurance companies are giving discounts to new and existing customers. It looks like generosity, but, with fewer people driving, there are fewer accidents and fewer payouts for them. It looks like generosity, but they are losing nothing. If the lockdown continues through the summer, they will be making a money hand over fist, so to speak. At least they are spreading the costs among us. This is a good ethics check on other insurance companies that do not do this.
Your best friends are the ones you’ll answer even if it’s a double chin and rudolf nose day.
I wonder if, many people will be sick and tired ,of the phone calling !!!
I love just taking walks and going very very slow and looking at everything. I was talking to a woodpecker and this kind woman told me later, she was watching me as she walked closer to me on her own solo morning walk and she was trying to scan, to figure out if I was mentally insane, or approachable. We both laughed and she drove us to a forest to take a walk, and we had a great day together, because she could tell I am not completely insane, and woodpeckers are people, too. No, we do not care about social distancing when we know we are healthy and have been isolated for months, and hugging is healing. So, to each their own, as long as they are not hurting anyone else or anyone who is stuck in fear.
We have discovered though that we prefer online tabletop role playing games. We get way more of the scenario done somehow.
*snif* ah, feels like so long ago, and yet only yesterday.
Load More Replies...Wouldn't that be year 1 since this would mean "2019 before corona"?
Load More Replies...Proof that everything was better when we were young. Like last year.
All that stuff I want o do but can't when stuck at work? Ya, now I'm too bored to do it.
As I think, to be positive, think about others, those who are in prison, or the hospital !!!
Details here: https://twitter.com/micktheejit/status/1259169249760870400
Load More Replies...Do you remember the BP post about the man who found a can of Spiderman Pasta from 1995, and had the courage to open it?
There's a guy on youtube that opens reaaaally old food cans. It's disgusting and yet fascinating
Load More Replies...You can't get certain types of meat, either! "Maybe next week."
Load More Replies...it beats what was found in my mom's freezer.......ground beef in a "freezer bag" , Yes that seriously says Chemo bag A5D1915A-3...4-jpeg.jpg
That's nothing, I found a dodo down the bottom of my freezer yesterday!
definitely creepy, but it's a meme. Hide the Pain Harold was a stock photo model, but his smile in every picture looks like he's in pain q3V3Xe3-796x531.jpg
Sell them on Amazon; you'll make a fortune! But not be able to leave the house to spend it. Sorry about that.
If only tRump had been shoved inside a peach - that King Kong promptly ate. Of course, then the big ape would get indigestion.
Load More Replies...I remember watching that and thinking "he really stays on the bright side" bc his mom died his dad was deployed and a bunch of other s**t. But he "got the van!"
Hey, you went back to your original handle. I remember watching this scene and my heart breaking. Comic reliefs and class clowns are sometimes the people most hurting or the kindest.
Load More Replies...I'd like to know too... Should I be worried?
Load More Replies...On top of all that, the Weather Service is predicting an above-average hurricane season, possibly the busiest since 2005. Talk about adding insult to injury!
Actually all billionaires net worth put together is 9 trillion
Load More Replies...Tax billionaires a lil more? A lil more than zero is still a zero. Rich people don't pay taxes, don't you know that? You pay. And you pay A LOT. Then rich people get those money because a rich guy needs 4,5 per month to survive. Not like you - you can last 10 months with 1300$. Lucky you. Now go work, or die. Don't forget to pay taxes because the rich guy depends on your money.
Reminds me of a thing I saw on PBS about the 1918 Spanish Flu epidemic - nobody talked about it afterwards. It was like they just collectively agreed to put it behind them and forget. It wasn't until decades later that people started writing books about it.
Any one else remember at new years we were all like, new decade, new me, its gonna be the best year
You know what's actually ok? To see we are actually struggling with the same things. It makes me feel a little less stupid for procrastinating and having tiny tasks become this big in my head...
I read a tweet from someone who basically said "I have not baked sourdough or started art or done creative things or cleaned my house and it's okay" and i cried. We are all mentally flipped around right now. And you're not stupid :)
Load More Replies...#UblockOrigin 😍. I watch youtubeonly on browser, never use an app. I have adblocker even on my phone. Fu#k ads.
The other day, I stood in the middle of my living room, wondering what day it was. I looked at my calendar, and got nowhere. I finally checked my mobile phone. It was Wednesday.
Yep, morning has a tendency to come at increasingly strange hours these days. Up and down still seem to be working fine as basic directions and I take comfort from that.
I feel like stage 3. My hair is now the longest it's been since I was a teenager.
... actually, flying cars are a dumb idea to begin with - let's not even talk about flying electric cars, their handling and the hazard they impose on the stuff below. But ... I get it. I just like tires, you know ... crucial function they do, ...
Funny thing about flying cars... in order to get them flying, they need wings or rotors. In other words, they're planes and helicopters so stop calling them flying cars you n*b.
No, but fish still fly (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uFjmeWnFZ4) and birds still swim in the ocean (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwPrXOtBoVg)
Do not complain. Leave that to these people, who are also facing the coronavirus living in countries with health care systems that quite simply cannot cope: "Hundreds of billions of locusts are swarming through parts of East Africa and South Asia" : https://www.bbc.com/news/in-pictures-51618188 and https://www.theguardian.com/global-development/2020/apr/13/second-wave-of-locusts-in-east-africa-said-to-be-20-times-worse
hiiiiiii im here to, um, talk to you... *goes out* *sting* corona virus BOOM
If I am permitted to brag, I finally finished the first draft of a nonfiction book I've been writing off and on for a couple years.
Me but half my circle is pink (read) and the other half is helping kids with school. And part of the pink reading half is eating. Eating, reading, helping kids with school. Wait, I forgot to add sleeping.
Or at least something to fight the aliens with if they turn out to be the "invady" kind.
Load More Replies...... Please tell me that's a joke because I don't think I can handle it right now.
Nope. She's finally decided to release Midnight Sun. So it's new, but not really.
Load More Replies...To add the icing on the cake, the National Weather Service is predicting a very active hurricane season, one that could rival 2005. Next thing you know, the Drules are going to invade.
I have not seen one video of celebrities singing and do you know why? Because I have the capabilities of scrolling past and ignoring them. More people should learn to do it, that way people who want to can still enjoy it.
Brilliant! The best of both worlds - facial protection, and the capacity to drink. I've never done beer through a straw, but there's a first time for everything.
This is incredibly freaky. Now draw the circles in the cheeks like jigsaw.
the only place that I can take a nap is the couch, but I have 2 older brothers and a dog... not much room for me. One day I woke up from a nap on the couch to doggo butt. Apparently she also farted but I was fast asleep. I did dream that there was a gas chamber...
Load More Replies...For the non-trekkies: There is a long-standing Star Wars trope that involves 'the guy in the red shirt' always getting killed, being throwaway security staff.
So appropriate that they are redshirts. Only the anti-quarantine bugnuts are putting other people at risk and not just themselves. They are being very selfish.
it's not even like "are you still watching" it's like "wow, pete, you're still here? are you actually still here? goddammit pete get a life or something"
well of course i am. you are my freetime... and my all-the-time. *wah wah wahhhhh
Measured by good deeds (or stopping bad deeds), god is on vacations since humans appeared.
I dunno why you're being downvoted; I agree completely
Load More Replies...No joke, after my 4th week off I thought there was something wrong because I KNOW I wasn't eating with that many forks... So I got a whole 'nother set for my birthday. Now they're all dirty too. fml
okay theon redeemed himself though 2020 has yet to do so
Load More Replies...Ooh. I just cringe hearing that. Toothpaste and orange juice is disgusting together. Yuck
What's wrong with oatmeal raisin cookies...? And I wasn't expecting anything special from 2020. This s**t show is more like you were baking basic cookies and they came out breathing fire and s******g on your home because for some reason you were chosen by visiting aliens to raise their offspring.
Yeah - I love oatmeal raisin cookies! If what followed "Bam" was "The chocolate chips were actually rabbit turds" that would have been a much better analogy.
Load More Replies...Hahahahaha, the worst kind of disappointment. Those bloody raisin biscuits should have warnings like cigarettes do.
are you also allergic to grapes? and wine? and whiners? sorry
Load More Replies...My son won't eat those because raisins still make him think of ants. He is 11. He will probably never eat raisins.
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/murder-hornets-us-honeybees-washington/
Load More Replies...Ah Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! Bah Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! * Gunfire*
Load More Replies...Not all people allow us delivery drivers to just leave it. Probably because they need someone to talk to.
Did you hear about the meteorologist (I think it was a meteorologist) who was doing a broadcast from home, and put on a nice shirt and jacket but no britches - and when he appeared on the Zoom-type video, everybody could see his bare leg?
Load More Replies...What are you guys doing still wearing any pants? I’ve been wearing muu muus.
Ugggh people, get your own thing. Now I have to move onto super manic hyper cheerful.
Since when did Michael Myers socially distance? He stalked and killed people. I’m pretty sure running a knife through virgin teenagers involved getting closer than 2 metres.
So I’m hearing it’s a bad time to be a virgin, especially if there are satanic rituals occurring in June.
Load More Replies...I think they're 'murder hornets' - we're supposed to get an invasion.
Load More Replies...Eek! I am absolutely terrified of bees and ants and spiders and...........
They just big. Hornets and bees are very fluffy irl
Load More Replies...Australian wildfires, COVID-19, "murder" hornets - 2020 is already an annus mirabilis, but for all the wrong reasons.
Hahaha. I’m going to be optimistic and say these aren’t the plans I’m looking forward to doing.
Literally one of the perks of masks is that you don't have to smile at people.
I've lost count of the number of times I have been first in a Zoom or Google Chat room.
Then they bounce off on the walls and run through more toilet paper.
finding out finn's hat was not actually his head changed my life forever
I know the feeling! I haven't had a haircut yet this year, and I am tired of this mane.
Unfortunately not....would've been a hot seller this year too lol
Load More Replies...So for drama camp I’m doing Peter Pan. We didn’t have enough people so the director’s son offered to help. He’s playing the crocodile and the Indian chief. So for his crocodile costume he has to wear a croc onesie, but I suggested to him he wear crocs.
I haven't learnt to make bread but I have learnt to make double cheese and bacon rolls.
I'm glad for small business owners but wouldn't it be much cheaper to make your own drinks?
Nothing is as good as a margarita that someone else makes for you!
Load More Replies...is a phrase that is so clichéd now that it makes you sound like a old fart.
Load More Replies...Because looking at still images of people easily allows one to tell which one is single.
Load More Replies...I don't wanna know what June will bring. The Weather Services says we're in for an above-average hurricane season. Just what we need - another 2005!
Yeah, North Europe is famous for its solidarity. Greetings from a southern European
Load More Replies...the only thing i havent done are order takeout, drink alcohol(im a kid). ta da im growing into a potato
jk fail to learn a new skill and ignore dishes. I do that alot
Load More Replies...Our apartment has a pool but covid shut that down too. :(
Load More Replies...Bought my husband some V8 juice because it's healthy. He used it make a bloody mary.
Maybe it will make them stop this disaster that YouTube rewind became
I don't get to stay at home because my government thinks that the economy is more important than the health of the workers in said economy. I'm not an "essential" worker (not in healthcare or food production/distribution) but I do face the public everyday. I would much rather be staying at home and knowing that I'm safe rather than wondering if the next person to walk into the office is the one to make me sick. You might be bored staying at home constantly but at least you're safe.
I'm so sorry! Thank you for what you do and I wish you and yours good health!
Load More Replies...Maybe we should also try harder to fight irresponsibility, stupidity, and ignorance with jokes.
my dad was telling my mom that there was this face masks had penises on it and if u can see it then ur not 6 fit apart.
My mom saw that too! Now she won’t stop talking about it... SHE WONT STOP SERIOUSLY SOMEONE HELP MEEEEEE
Load More Replies...I have a pediatric home care agency. Every day our nurses wear n95 masks and gloves and take the temperature of everyone in the household before administering clinical care and then again when they leave. Our babies have diagnoses that are as bad or worse than COVID-19. Our nurses live in a sad environment where mistakes of others have visited these children and the babies will pay the price. Do yourself a real personal favor and wear the masks, wash your hands with soap for 20 seconds and enjoy a little levity with these pics. Thank you, Ilona for giving us something to smile about in this time of high anxiety.
Thank you. Also if you go hiking in a state park please realize there are small paths that will put you less than 6ft away from people outside your home. Bring you mask and wear it! If I can get my 3 year old son to wear his for a couple of hrs than you can too( my son is bull headed and didn’t want to wear it at first but he he finally saw how serious things were getting and allows me to put the mask on without a fight).
Load More Replies...I was ill with pneumonia in January/February this year and have got two things to say about it. First, I have never imagined that a simple task such as breathing could be almost impossible with that painful hard coughing - it made me vomit on daily basis. Thus, you can bet I take covid-19 seriously. Second, I was wearing surgical masks in order not to infect my boyfriend who was taking care of me. At that time, one mask cost me 2 CZK (roughly £ 0.06/$ 0.08). Nowadays, one mask costs from 20 to 50 CZK (£ 0.64 - 1.61/$ 0.80 - 1.99) which is insane! Let alone the fact that the surgical ones do not work as well as double layer cotton ones. Please wear a mask to keep save people around you. And who would like to get more information about masks, sanitisers, etc. be my guest and watch Ann Reardon's video. She is a food scientist and has done a great research not only about this topic :) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMHySlDqpUw&t=
Omg! My neighbor did the same thing and couldn't understand why Costco said "Hell no stupid!"
I don't get to stay at home because my government thinks that the economy is more important than the health of the workers in said economy. I'm not an "essential" worker (not in healthcare or food production/distribution) but I do face the public everyday. I would much rather be staying at home and knowing that I'm safe rather than wondering if the next person to walk into the office is the one to make me sick. You might be bored staying at home constantly but at least you're safe.
I'm so sorry! Thank you for what you do and I wish you and yours good health!
Load More Replies...Maybe we should also try harder to fight irresponsibility, stupidity, and ignorance with jokes.
my dad was telling my mom that there was this face masks had penises on it and if u can see it then ur not 6 fit apart.
My mom saw that too! Now she won’t stop talking about it... SHE WONT STOP SERIOUSLY SOMEONE HELP MEEEEEE
Load More Replies...I have a pediatric home care agency. Every day our nurses wear n95 masks and gloves and take the temperature of everyone in the household before administering clinical care and then again when they leave. Our babies have diagnoses that are as bad or worse than COVID-19. Our nurses live in a sad environment where mistakes of others have visited these children and the babies will pay the price. Do yourself a real personal favor and wear the masks, wash your hands with soap for 20 seconds and enjoy a little levity with these pics. Thank you, Ilona for giving us something to smile about in this time of high anxiety.
Thank you. Also if you go hiking in a state park please realize there are small paths that will put you less than 6ft away from people outside your home. Bring you mask and wear it! If I can get my 3 year old son to wear his for a couple of hrs than you can too( my son is bull headed and didn’t want to wear it at first but he he finally saw how serious things were getting and allows me to put the mask on without a fight).
Load More Replies...I was ill with pneumonia in January/February this year and have got two things to say about it. First, I have never imagined that a simple task such as breathing could be almost impossible with that painful hard coughing - it made me vomit on daily basis. Thus, you can bet I take covid-19 seriously. Second, I was wearing surgical masks in order not to infect my boyfriend who was taking care of me. At that time, one mask cost me 2 CZK (roughly £ 0.06/$ 0.08). Nowadays, one mask costs from 20 to 50 CZK (£ 0.64 - 1.61/$ 0.80 - 1.99) which is insane! Let alone the fact that the surgical ones do not work as well as double layer cotton ones. Please wear a mask to keep save people around you. And who would like to get more information about masks, sanitisers, etc. be my guest and watch Ann Reardon's video. She is a food scientist and has done a great research not only about this topic :) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMHySlDqpUw&t=
Omg! My neighbor did the same thing and couldn't understand why Costco said "Hell no stupid!"
