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When a new year rolls around, many of us hit the mental reset button. Some people vow to eat better, others promise to save more money, and a few decide this is finally the year they become cooler, calmer, and more confident. And then there are those moments where confidence shows up completely by accident.
That’s exactly what happened here. Someone online asked people to share the most unexpectedly bold, sharp, or legendary thing they’d ever blurted out in the heat of the moment. No planning, no rehearsing—just pure, unfiltered instinct. The responses were hilarious, impressive, and occasionally jaw-dropping. Keep scrolling to see the moments when people accidentally sounded way more iconic than they meant to be.
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#1
I had a surgery and when I woke up, the nurse was REALLY CUTE, so I started flirting with her ( with no success)...I had a 2nd surgery and when I woke up, it was the same cute nurse, my first words to her were:
How many surgeries do I have to have before I get your phone number????
( we've been married 8 yrs now).
RELATED:
#2
I worked at a book store and a customer asked me "How often do the periodicals come out?" I deadpanned "Periodically." and he asked to speak to my manager. Worth it.
#3
A long time ago I was walking down a side street in a medium sized town with my girlfriend. A car was parked ahead, with the front of the car facing us as we approached. I could see two kids, maybe in their late teens and instantly could tell they were likely going say something as my gf was rather attractive.
As soon as we come up next to them I hear “hey baby, ditch the zero and come hang with the hero”. I could feel my blood boil but I kept my cool and calmly said “sorry buddy, I’m not gay...and don’t call my girlfriend a zero”. The dude’s friend started laughing at him and my girlfriend made a sarcastic crying face then we both started to laugh.
Pandass, a new year often feels like a fresh chapter for many of us. It comes with new beginnings, new hopes, and a quiet promise to do things a little differently. While we may not know what your resolutions are just yet, and you are always welcome to share them in the comments, there is one thing almost everyone wants. That is to feel more confident in their own skin. Confidence can change how you speak, how you walk, and how you handle life’s ups and downs. Wouldn’t it be nice to step into 2026 feeling a little stronger and more sure of yourself. The good news is that confidence is something you can work on, one small step at a time.
#4
“Go wait with mommy- daddy might be going back to jail again”. Guy pushed my 5 year old daughter at the fish store and SHE started crying. When he heard me say that he RAN out of the store.
I’ve never been to jail before.
#5
This one had a little setup, but I think it's funny enough to share.
At a family vacation, my grandmother was giving me grief for not remembering her birthday (I've never been good with birthdays) after telling me it was the password to her iphone (she wanted me to take a picture with it, which is why I needed the password.)
While she was distracted, I opened up the settings, changed her password to my birthdate, and then set her phone down.
Cue 15 minutes later, she's trying to get into her phone and it's not working. Suspecting mischief, she grumpily asks me if I've changed the password to her phone in front of our entire family. I admit that I did.
"Well what is it?" She asked impatiently.
"It's my birthdate."
She sat there in stunned silence for about 15 seconds not being able to remember my birthday before our family exploded laughing. Was a good time.
#6
I was accused of being passive aggressive. I replied "Which part sounded passive? I don't ever want to come across as passive.".
One of the first steps to building confidence is gently pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. Trying new things can feel scary at first, and that feeling is completely normal. Confidence grows when you prove to yourself that you can handle discomfort. You might fail the first few times, and that is okay too. Think of something simple like cooking if you have never done it before. Start with one easy recipe instead of aiming for a full meal. Each small win adds up and slowly shows you that you are more capable than you thought.
#7
This was back in my junior year of college. At the beginning of the semester I was introducing myself to my very intimidating biochemistry professor (guy was a genius but also students were all terrified to ask him questions because he was known for grilling people and if they hadn't made enough effort beforehand he'd send them out of his office to learn on their own). As I walked into his office he was sorting through some boxes and made a really sarcastic comment regarding stuffing me in the box and shipping it off somewhere.
He looked up for my response and I just blurted out without thinking "I wouldn't mind going somewhere nice..." Dude laughed so hard it actually startled me a little. We got along pretty well for the remainder of the semester, so it all worked out really well! It's amazing what a little laughter can do to ease tension.
#8
When I was a broke college student, a wealthy older lawyer hit my car. No damage to his but mine was crumpled, and I spent all of my no money at the time keeping it on the road. I was going literally 7 mph in a parking lot and he was entirely at fault. We exchanged insurance info and I had to get a rental car until mine was fixed. He dodged the insurance calls for about two weeks, forcing me to pay out of pocket for the rental, about $600 which I definitely didn’t have. I knew this guy was a jerkish snooty lawyer- my dad is a court attorney and while I have never used this flex- I finally had to ask my dad to call him and talk some lawyer at him. 15 minutes later I get a call and insurance will go forward.
Fast forward like 8 years, I’m bartending at a swanky lounge where a Chamber of Commerce event is going on. Just for local business people to rub elbows and network. This lawyer is really feeling himself and charming the room. He orders a glass of wine from me and then stops and says, “hey, miss, do I know you?”
So I came back loudly with, “well not really but you hit my car in a parking lot a few years ago when I was a broke college student and stuck me with the bill. Do you wanna open a tab for the wine or close out now?”
He did not open a tab.
***Edit- you guys seemed to like this one so I have a bonus for you.
Back somewhere around 2005 I went to see a band play and 30 seconds to Mars was opening for them. Jared Leto was in that band, and at the time Lindsay Lohan was dating him. I live not far from where she grew up and just a few days before a friend told me that LL acted like an enormously entitled jerk towards her a few days ago when they were walking their dogs- something about refusing autographs that no one asked for. We got right up to the front during their set (omg they were so bad) so we could be in place for the next band. Right behind the barrier was Lindsay watching the set. I motioned her over and asked her to take a photo. She starts yelling like “OMG I’m just NORMAL person trying to watch my bf leave me alone!!” Exactly the reaction I was hoping for. I put on my best innocent confused face and said I just wanted a pic with my boyfriend since we made it to the front row. And then said I’m sorry I didn’t realize you were someone famous or something? She went backstage after that. Honestly had never felt so cool.
#9
In a class at university each student had to give a presentation about a scientific paper and answer questions about it. We were told to ask the speaker questions, because otherwise the professor would and his questions would obviously be harder. That professor was really brutal in his critiques of the presentations (but also fair and accurate). In any case i asked a question after every single presentation, but when my turn came no student wanted to ask anything, so the professor asked me if i wanted to ask myself a question. Without even thinking about it: "Say, how come your presentation was so extremely excellent?"
I was mentally preparing to be chewed out, instead the professor needed a minute to stop laughing and then gave me the best grade possible :)
Another important habit is learning to stop comparing yourself to others. It is easy to look at someone else’s life and feel like you are falling behind. What we forget is that everyone is on a different path with different struggles and timelines. Social media often shows highlights, not the full picture. Your journey is yours alone, and it does not need to look like anyone else’s. When you focus on your own progress instead of someone else’s success, confidence starts to grow naturally. Give yourself credit for how far you have come.
#10
About 25 year ago, I was in grade 9 and my parents bought me a pair of Air Max.
I’m a female, but I had picked a pair of Air Max that were ‘supposed’ to be for males because I preferred the colour of the shoes. I was super pumped to get those shoes; we didn’t have lots of money and it was a pretty extravagant purchase.
Anyway, I was at our local shopping centre and I ran into a group of guys I went to high school with. They were a real bunch of jerks that thrived on dumping on other people. One of the guys had on the same pair of shoes and said to me “do you know you’re wearing men’s shoes?”
To which I quickly replied “then why are you wearing them?”
The other guys pissed themselves laughing and it still stands out in my mind after all these years.
#11
The first day camping at a 2016 music festival, I headed off with a 4-gallon jug to get water.
A girl who was with our group, who I’d never met before, asked if I needed help. I responded, “No—but I’d sure love some company.”
We’re getting married this fall.
#12
I worked at Target back in college in a stocking job where we had to be there at like 4-5am to unload trucks. One morning I overslept a bit and walked to the unpacking line about 10 minutes late eating a breakfast bar. The boss stormed over and started loudly berating me in front of everyone for being late. As he was going on, I was listening and taking bites of the bar without much expression (mainly because I was so tired). It finally bothered him that I was disrespectfully chewing during the yelling and he stopped mid-sentence, held out his hand, and said, “Give me that thing!”. It just happened that I only had one bite left so I took it, handed him the wrapper, and said “Thanks” with a mouth full of food. He paused and started laughing at the ridiculous response to his whining. We were buddies after that.
Taking care of your health also plays a big role in how confident you feel. This includes your body as well as your mind. Getting enough rest, eating well, and moving your body can make a noticeable difference. You do not need extreme routines or big changes overnight. Even small habits like daily walks or better sleep can improve your mood and energy. When you feel better physically, it becomes easier to feel confident mentally.
#13
I was the nerdy, 5-foot-tall shy girl, and constantly got paired with struggling/misbehaving kids to "help them".
On this occasion, it was two popular guys in English class. One was your typical, 2000s era comic book jock, the other was a class clown who just didn't know when to stop. Together, they unanimously agreed to do nothing, making fun of our classmates, while I made the world's ugliest word cloud. (I failed art class y'all, so that's no joke.)
I guess I had an epiphany, because for the first time in my 15 years of life, I decided, I'm done, and went to tell the teacher they're being lazy idiots and I'd rather just do it solo. It took a hot minute before jokester realized I'd even left, and when he pointed it out, the jock stood up looking ready to Hulk out of his lowriders.
And the Jock said
"What are you tattling on us for? It's not like we've done anything".
And I replied
"Yeah, that's kind of the point".
And just walked out of the silent class... because I was so used to being bullied I fully expected him to yeet a chair at me. But apparently I just looked like a boss, which is accidental street cred my nerdy head was 100% eager to roll with.
#14
I was the lawyer in this criminal case arising out the Standing Rock events. That morning, some Lakota people had given us this traditional blessing to wish us well for the trial, and there were five to seven activists sitting in the courtroom to watch and support us.
It happened that there was a certain digital document that I needed before the jury got back from a break, and we didn't know just when the break would be over.
I remember turning to the supporters holding up a thumb drive, and telling them exactly what I needed from the office across the street and how to get it.
I held out the thumb drive, and with all the intensity of an ancient general sending his troops into battle said, "Fastest runner. Go now."
This tiny little young woman grabbed the thumb drive and got back before the jury returned.
#15
Years ago I worked at a Hard Rock cafe, and we often had pre shift server meetings outdoors on a patio, and while my boss was droning on about us selling more overpriced plastic cups I was staring off at the spinning globe on top of the building that says "save the planet" on it, I interrupted my boss by blurting out "if Hard Rock is trying to save the planet, why do we waste so much paper?", which was really directed at my managers, who had a hard on for printing out stupid memos. They somehow didn't realize it was about them specifically, and passed the comment up the food chain, which ended up resulting in the entire company changing their payroll system to paperless, globally.
As a reward I was given a pin shaped like a lightbulb that said "bright idea" on it. Thanks I guess.
The people you surround yourself with matter more than you may realize. Being around positive and supportive individuals can lift you up on tough days. On the other hand, constant negativity can slowly drain your confidence. Choose to spend time with people who encourage you and believe in you. This could be friends, family, or even coworkers who bring good energy. A supportive environment makes it easier to believe in yourself. Sometimes confidence grows simply because someone else reminds you of your worth.
#16
I already posted here, but I just thought of another story.
There was this one extremely attractive girl in my COMM 101 class in college. One day, for a project where we interviewed other students, I was partnered with her. We ended up not finishing our questions in class, so I asked her if I could meet her somewhere to finish interviewing her. She said yes.
Fast-forward to the next day, I meet her after her dance group finishes rehearsal. I knock through the last few questions, and the final one which I ask is “What do you perceive the future to hold?”
She replies “I don’t even know what I’m having for dinner tonight, I have no idea what the future holds.”
So I say “Well, if you don’t know what you’re having for dinner, do you want to have dinner with me?”
She laughed, said yes, and though we only hooked up that night, I still look back on that day as one of the best dating stories I’ve had yet.
#17
In a discussion with my parents in which they were clearly wrong and missing the point. They began yelling because they really hadn't arguments, and started talking about the respect I owe them as their son, saying that I was disrespectful for contradicting their position. I just answered something like "from where would I learn respect if I haven't seen you guys respecting me or anyone", and they went completely silent.
#18
I'll never forget the moment a family walked into the local pub I was working at while I was working. This big king-of-the-grill bald alpha patriarch Dad type and his wife and kids came through, I said "welcome, where would you like to sit?" And he snapped back "well a table would be nice", and without missing a beat at all I replied "actually we usually sit on the chairs here", I'll never forget the satisfaction of that moment or the look on his face haha.
Setting realistic goals is another key part of building confidence. Big goals are great, but they can feel overwhelming if they are not broken down. Start with smaller, achievable steps that keep you motivated. Learning to say no is just as important. You do not have to please everyone or take on everything at once. Protecting your time and energy helps you feel more in control of your life. Confidence often comes from knowing your limits and respecting them.
#19
"There's no way you're this much of a jerk naturally, you must go home and practice."
I said this to a coworker who was throwing a fit and bullying a quieter coworker because he was pissed off. He had a habit of just being a giant jerk anytime things didn't go his way. This comment pissed him off so much he just stormed into his office and stayed there the rest of the day (win for the rest of us).
#20
I was crazy about this dude. He was intelligent, hot, funny, and a bit older. After a few weeks of dating he said he wasn’t ready for a commitment. I told him to come pick up his book from my place, and not to reach out again as it hurt too much. I was that in to him.
So he comes to my apartment, I go to hand him the book, and begin to shut the door. He puts his foot in the way to stop it and says “I don’t know what to do. I’m not ready, but I can’t stop thinking about you.”
Moving my hand off the door, I hand him the book anyways and said “Then pick me up at 7.”
Anyways now we’re married.
#21
At work project management undercut and mismanaged a project so badly. They pushed getting minimum viable product out with the goal to roll out improvements later.
Product released, they all patted themselves on the back and moved on. Then that minimum viable product broke.
In a meeting we had with our directors about how its so broken and the cost to fix it etc (no cost too big, unlimited manpower etc) I asked "how come we couldnt afford to do it right, but we can afford to do it twice?".
#22
In middle school I had a class simply called “reading class,” that was taught by a conservative Christian lady. I was reading Jurassic Park and the teacher asked to see my book, I complied like a good student. The next day she gave it back and said, “You can no longer read this book in this class because they use God’s name in vain.” I looked at her square in the eye and replied, “Wouldn’t you cuss if dinosaurs were chasing after you?”.
Try not to let anxiety and self doubt take over your thoughts. Negative self talk can quietly chip away at confidence if left unchecked. When you catch yourself thinking harshly about yourself, pause and challenge that thought. Ask yourself if you would speak that way to a friend. Be patient with yourself as you grow and learn. Confidence does not mean never feeling scared or unsure. It means trusting yourself even when those feelings show up.
#23
At a party a few years back, someone stole my friends purse. Her boyfriend found the guys who took it and got it back for her, but he was still in an angry, drunken rage and was continuing to escalate the situation when he was well outnumbered. My friend finds me and says, “I’m afraid [boyfriend] is about to get into a fight, I need your help. Stop him, please!”. I stand up, and I tell her, “I can’t promise you I can stop him from fighting, but I can promise you I won’t let him lose.” Before walking off to find him.
Ultimately, no fight actually broke out, and I didn’t realize that I had basically said a cheesy one liner until after the fact when my friend told me how intense that line was. I didn’t mean for it to sound so dramatic, I just wanted to let her know I wouldn’t let him get his back kicked, I didn’t mean to make it sound like I was about to demolish three guys by myself like I’m some sort of action hero.
#24
I’m a writer and I do a bit of stand up comedy. As such people tend to introduce me to new people as a ‘comedian’ ‘writer’ etc.
So I was outside a bar smoking with a friend of a friend, he then introduced to one of his friends. His friend was dressed like Liam Gallagher from Oasis and seemed to exude a bit of a cocky sneerey manner.
The introduction went thusly;
Friend of Friend: Mr Gallagher this is WriterOfWrongs, he’s a comedian.
Mr Gallagher: (looks me up and down) Comedian eh? Does that mean you think you’re funny?
WriterOfWrongs: No, it means everyone else does.
I literally do not know where it came from. I didn’t think about the response, it just came out.
And it is hands down the GREATEST thing I’ve ever said.
#25
I was eating McDonald's with a few friends and I started choking.. the only thing I managed to say in the whole ordeal was "I'm McChokin'".
#26
At work at a company meeting, someone was presenting something cool they volunteered to work on and finished. They then explained things they thought they could do better in a self deprecating way, and a bunch of other people started railing into his work with petty criticism. It was definitely good work, though, and a thought just hit me so I blurted it out:
“Sometimes “done” is the best feature”
A bunch of people laughed and then the criticism stopped. People gave him kudos and we moved on. Not really cool, but I was surprised this thought somehow came out fully formed, like it was some phrase I’ve been saying for decades.
I guess I was just realizing how many people don’t finish anything they start. So “done” suddenly seemed like a pretty good feature. Give the man some credit for finishing the thing!
Building these habits does take time, and that is perfectly okay. Confidence is not something that appears overnight. Once you start practicing these changes, they slowly become part of who you are. There is no going back once you begin believing in yourself. While the replies in this post show confidence that happened by chance, you can choose confidence intentionally. Which one of these replies stood out to you the most. Tell us in the comments below.
#27
I worked in cellphone sales for a few years and a woman came in with a fairly new flip phone (this was 2018 we just still sold them). She was complaining cause one of the sides of the screen was dangling off and said she didn't do anything it just snapped, and demanded a new phone. I told her "that looks like physical damage and we don't have any coverage for that since you didn't buy a phone protection warranty."
She insisted it wasn't physical damage and the phone just broke itself. She started freaking out and calling me all kinds of names and swinging her phone in my face and then the top half of the phone LITERALLY snapped off and landed on the counter in front of me. I just looked her in the eyes and said: "Well that was definitely physical damage." She lost it at my comment and it was weirdly satisfying.
#28
Forensic biology professor brings out a fresh human brain as a surprise to a stunned class.
"You have no idea what I had to go through to get this."
"The skull?".
#29
I was in an acting class in college, and we were doing a scene where a couple was having a big drawn out fight. Multiple pairs went through the scene, and I studied it pretty hard, so I knew all the lines.
We're about halfway through our performance when my partner clearly forgets what her line is. And because everyone was doing that scene, they could tell she had forgotten, as well.
Her next line was supposed to be "well, I'm sorry I asked!"
I'm not usually a quick thinker on my feet, but I just filled the second or two of awkward silence with "I bet you're sorry you asked, huh!?" And continued on with my lines. Not overly cool per se, but the class and professor loved it and all laughed. Probably the only quick-witted thing I've ever done in my life.
#30
I was around 17 or 18 and getting my first filling at the dentist. They pumped me up with nitrous oxide for pain and to help me relax during the procedure. Dentist came back and asked me, "how are you feeling?" All I said was "I don't" and he lost it and cracked up for what seemed like 20 minutes before he could pull himself together. I also started cracking up because of the laughing gas and his laugh was infectious. So we were both just sitting the in the room laughing and all his assistants came by and were very confused lol.
#31
Dude I worked with had a stutter and was a bit of a jerk. One day he goes “hey jackwrangler, d-do you think you’re going s-straight to hell because you’re gay?”
And my response was “hey Anthony, d-do you think god gave you a s-stutter so you could think twice about what you say to people?”
The whole wait station stopped and...***silence ***
#32
A friend of mine was annoying me while we were all bowling. Off the cuff I yelled at him, "You're adopted! Your parents don't even like you!" He laughed, because, you now, friends. Like three hours later it hit me and I turned around and said, "You are adopted (I completely forgot)! I'm so sorry dude." Which he thought made the whole situation even funnier.
#33
I’m a tech nerd, have always been into phones, computers, etc. One of my exes hated this (bc I wasn’t giving her my absolute, undivided devotion ugh).
One day she complained that I loved my electronics more than I loved her.
Without even thinking, I said, “yeah, they have a mute button”.
#34
At work, when in a somewhat heated discussion of why things kept going wrong at a small company, upper management said something to the effect 'why does xyz keep happening, it's idiot proof' and I replied "we need to stop hiring new idiots to test if that's true"
Edit: so the replies seem split about 50/50 understanding what I meant. I'd like to address a couple replies instead of individually. The context was "please stop trying to find people to actually test if it's idiot proof. Please hire someone who is not a bigger idiot than the previous hire that was let go for being an idiot."
First, I work in a very small company and all of us are close enough outside of work that this wouldn't get me fired or reprimanded or anything .
Second, my point was that we should hire smarter people in instead of any Joe that applied and then the procedure would be idiot proof. We just needed a slightly smarter idiot.
#35
“Respect should be earned, not given.” To some old lady at an extended family gathering. She was saying some mean stuff about the homeless where she lived and I told her how inconsiderate she was. Then she told me to respect her and not rebut her.
KatSaidThat 1 hour ago
At which point I would say I will show her as much respect as she is showing them.
#36
Partly accidental.
Was doing a university project, had to do a large presentation in front of maybe 50-60 other students about a possible business of manufacturing an education toy for kids. It was a bit of a train wreck, as no one else in the group had rehearsed or even read the script.
As with all presentations they asked for questions at the end, and I stepped up to answer questions. There was one guy at the back that always asked awkward questions, like "what if someone were to injure themselves and sue you?", or "have you factored in matching employees pensions?". It was meant to be a fun project for first year students, they weren't expecting tons of detail.
When it came to asking questions I volunteered to answer them. The guy opened right away asking awkward questions, but he misjudged how particular I am with details. I asked the lecturer hosting the session if I could load up my spreadsheet, he allowed it. That's when the guy realized he had asked the wrong guy.
I had had made an automatic spreadsheet that would work out how many people were needed, how many machines, what hours people could work, rolling production over 24 hours and overlapping shifts to ensure it all worked at maximum efficiency. Add to that it worked out costs, complying to the law exactly including pension contributions, tax amounts, holidays, time off work due to illness etc, insurance, rent and more.
When it came to asking his group questions I asked him every single thing he had overlooked legally, like time off for work, pay increases etc. On the way out the other groups gave me a smile as it had shut him right up.
#37
I didn’t realize the nature of my comment when i wrote it... but in high school, one of my teachers did end-of-the-year anonymous evaluations. everyone hated him, and i understood why but i still did well in his class. i wrote “i don’t have any critiques about your teaching, but i think you should work on being a better person”.
#38
I was working IT for a company when Network Solutions had a massive DNS outage. My manager (GM of the company, smart but not IT) asked me what was wrong besides "DNS on the host side". My response was "DNS acts like a phone book, looking up our web address and directing it to the correct place....the phone book is on fire.".
#39
Big burly former marine/mercenary from Iraq was back stateside, huge mountain of a man. We came to face each other in one of the narrow corridors of the office where one of us was gonna have to turn sideways. Neither of us turned, but we stopped. I'm 6'1 260 and he still towered over me. He was a nice guy, but still a little....."conditioned" I guess you could say or mentally unhinged. He looked me straight in the eye and said, "You feeling froggy?" It truly was like something out of a movie. Without blinking I replied, "You better jump."
We both cracked up and turned sideways, while the office breathed a collective sigh of relief.
#40
"you touch that girl one more time and I'll break your legs" I was drunk and didn't even know the people. But no woman is going to get smacked like that without me standing up.
#41
One time I popped the blood vessels in my eye and had blood dripping down my face and some kid says “hey man you’re bleeding” to which I responded “coulda fooled me”. Then I messed it up by touching my face and seeing the blood and immediately going ah, guess you were right.
KatSaidThat 1 hour ago
Walked into a shop in Barcelona and turned around fairly quickly realising probably not the right place. Did not realise the glass door had already closed again. Wham! Thought it was funny, walked out laughing. Was getting people looking scared and it was only after a person holy crossed themselves that I thought to look in a car rear view mirror... turns out that bleeding from your eye does indeed look demonic.
#42
Me and my girlfriend at the time were having a discussion about her going back to school. She kept putting it off every semester, and one day she got angry at me trying to get her to actually go back, not just talk about it, and she yelled “Rome wasn’t built in a day!” And I responded, “yeah, but it was built.” And a decade later I still think of that.
Edit: She did end up going back to school. Got her masters even. She’s married now with twins. Just a real jerk.
#43
I am a fourth grade teacher and one day I was up at the board and struggling to remember how to spell a particular word. I was trying to make light of it, telling the kids that sometimes adults need help with spelling too.
One student replied, “It is because you were poorly educated. But don’t worry, we are poorly educated too.”
Double whammy.
#44
Dude asked me if i was normal after saying 'Good morning babe' to him. Which i replied 'I never was, we're all sinners' he stayed silent for days
Edit : How'd i fix this hot mess? He won't talk to me lol
Edit 2 : He texted me back saying he was busy, and he doesn't mind if i wasn't normal! Yay? lmao.
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What do you think ?
SaraCapybara 4 hours ago
I was a volunteer in the San Francisco AIDS community in the 80s and 90s, when the disease was at its height. I went to a fundraiser for one of them which was at the house of some very rich donor. The wife of the donor was a trophy wife who was a really unlikeable person. She went on and on about how much work it is to be a volunteer. Turns out she was arranging a fashion show for charity. Great, we need the money, but she kept acting like she was Mother Teresa. "Oh you'll never understand how much work it is to get 20 women to give you their dress size. I'm exhausted." She kept talking about what a good person she was to help out. I'd spent the day trying to get medical benefits for a client and had just lost two clients in one day so I had little time or her nonsense. After talking herself up, she turns to me with a smug smile and asks, "so, do you have a cause?" "No," I said, "I have an effect."
Roxy222uk 5 hours ago (edited)
My best automatic come back was when I was a kid of about 12. There was a girl that just didn’t like me, to this day I have no idea why (although I’m experienced enough at life to realise I could have unwittingly done something that had an affect on her). She wasn’t in my year and we literally only ever saw each other on the bus, but she’d have snotty things to say to or about me. So I’m getting on the school bus and she snarks “no need to look down your nose at me" (implying I’m posh and up myself) and my mouth instantly retorted “well, I can hardly look up it, can I?” That was decades ago and I’ve never bettered it for wit and speed. Why can’t I be like that more often?
MrG 6 hours ago
When I (white male - which is pertinent) was a highschool student in Lakehurst, NJ (years ago), our English teacher (also white) was going through roll call. She was momentarily confused as to the pronunciation of a black schoolmate's name so she asked, "Is it Danell or Darnell?" His reply; "It's Danell, Ma'am". Her: "Then why does everyone call you Darnell?" Me: "Because they're white!" I got a good laugh from my peers that day.
SaraCapybara 4 hours ago
I was a volunteer in the San Francisco AIDS community in the 80s and 90s, when the disease was at its height. I went to a fundraiser for one of them which was at the house of some very rich donor. The wife of the donor was a trophy wife who was a really unlikeable person. She went on and on about how much work it is to be a volunteer. Turns out she was arranging a fashion show for charity. Great, we need the money, but she kept acting like she was Mother Teresa. "Oh you'll never understand how much work it is to get 20 women to give you their dress size. I'm exhausted." She kept talking about what a good person she was to help out. I'd spent the day trying to get medical benefits for a client and had just lost two clients in one day so I had little time or her nonsense. After talking herself up, she turns to me with a smug smile and asks, "so, do you have a cause?" "No," I said, "I have an effect."
Roxy222uk 5 hours ago (edited)
My best automatic come back was when I was a kid of about 12. There was a girl that just didn’t like me, to this day I have no idea why (although I’m experienced enough at life to realise I could have unwittingly done something that had an affect on her). She wasn’t in my year and we literally only ever saw each other on the bus, but she’d have snotty things to say to or about me. So I’m getting on the school bus and she snarks “no need to look down your nose at me" (implying I’m posh and up myself) and my mouth instantly retorted “well, I can hardly look up it, can I?” That was decades ago and I’ve never bettered it for wit and speed. Why can’t I be like that more often?
MrG 6 hours ago
When I (white male - which is pertinent) was a highschool student in Lakehurst, NJ (years ago), our English teacher (also white) was going through roll call. She was momentarily confused as to the pronunciation of a black schoolmate's name so she asked, "Is it Danell or Darnell?" His reply; "It's Danell, Ma'am". Her: "Then why does everyone call you Darnell?" Me: "Because they're white!" I got a good laugh from my peers that day.
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