“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not

My drunk driving skills are great, I call an uber/lift/cab or walk my happy a*s. Never, ever get behind the wheel drunk

Secretly?

What's with the angle of that back wheel? - is this a hovercraft?

This happens to where I work alot. Thanks for the cold and the 3 days I won't be getting paid.

Honestly, neither have I but I don't have children so I guess it's okay?

Yeah! Stop shaming me for my French vanilla cappuccino Brian!

Tater Tots are everywhere these days. I'd like to see a Venn diagram of them and incels, it could be a perfect overlap

Since Andrew Tate is so obsessed with being an alpha male, he should be dropped off in the wilderness somewhere to see how long he can survive for.

The entire concept of alpha male is false. Just look up the recent research on wolf packs that corrected the mistake that coined the phrase. So their whole lives are based on a mistake.

The guys that stormed the capital

Pathetic and too much work to be a laughable douche.

Also girls who look for attention from men just to stroke their female egos and then ghost them. Looking at you Traci.

"My alpha male will protect me" Maybe if he sh*** his pants loud, smelly and horrific. So that the bad person gags and runs away.

The alpha male toxic garbage that spews out of their insecure gobs just gives me the ick.

I've always had 37.5 hours work weeks. My brain shuts down after 37 hours so the last half hour I'm just making strange noises.

Especially as true luxery items are often more tactfully branded. Big logos are tacky and not needed for those who actually know their product and hence a Ralph Lauren will have a logo the size of a stamp, not a print that extends all over the breast of a T-shirt.

This is a fabulous thing to learn about another person because it tells you a lot about them and about how little time you might really want to spend with them.

Another type of body dismorphia

...or anybody else you know personally.

The bragging about being politically incorrect one tho... So you *like* being hurtful and disrespectful.

They’re flexing the fact that they get to sponge off their parents’ wealth. It’s gross and the wealth in question needs to be taxed far more than it is right now, but the flex is real.

Ahh, society, making alcoholism acceptable since god knows when :)

Please Turn Over?

And then saying they are supporting eco movements.

We need to call it what it is, which is “trying to escape poverty”. I don’t wish for someone to have no support when their body eventually gives out; I wish for a society where people don’t have to work so much, and my politics reflect that.

Fun fact: People have different awake and restful times they literally can't change. You can adapt but will never change your default, what's naturally best for you. It's one of the reasons the 9-5 standard work hours has been so bad for people's mental health.

This is a high-school thing, or at least for me it was. From college on it was understood that not getting sleep just made you less functional. The flex became being too busy to get proper sleep, which is a weird flex too, since it's just kind of sad.

Let's see how many "likes" I'll get here.. or "dislikes"

I love the opposite people, who boast about how little they paid for something that looks amazing and/or is super useful

I'll have you know, my diet is extremely strict - I exclusively eat things that taste nice!

Ah yes, the transitive property of knowledge.

...well that just makes you plain stupid

Some people can't afford not to work. Which is such a sad thing.

A lifted truck. I have to laugh when they tip over

Or that they can use you.

Some people DID go to those schools. Should they make up another story so you'll feel comfortable? Again, it's entirely the way they go about telling their story.

Totally depends on the context. If you ask me how I liked a particular TV show or a movie and I don't go to the movies or watch TV, how is that a flex? It might just be an accurate description of my life. I think that for most of these it's the weird little smug look they give you when they answer that makes it ugly.