“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not

My drunk driving skills are great, I call an uber/lift/cab or walk my happy a*s. Never, ever get behind the wheel drunk

"I had too much to drink at the bar, so I took a bus home. I felt pretty proud of myself - because I had never driven a bus before."

I've never come across anyone whose driving skills weren't in inverse ratio to how much they bragged about them.

Personally ashamed of all the times I should have absolutely been arrested for getting behind the wheel.

bruh

Secretly?

I always enjoy the fact that rudeness is considered blunt honesty while “your rudeness is not welcome” isn’t.

That’s Dutch people for you! “We are just direct”. Yeah, until someone is “just direct” to you, and then all off a sudden it’s rude.

I'm sometimes overly honest, but that's because I'm neurodivergent. I'm not proud of my over honesty though

I've found the best way to react to these kinds of people/responses is to ask if they care about how they make other people feel. If they say yes, keep pressing them on why they have 0 tact then. If they say no, they told you themselves they don't care about you and aren't worth your time. I actually used to be like this, and it took someone I did care about asking why I prioritized saying what I wanted over effective and positive communication before I changed. Sometimes you just gotta be just as blunt with these kinds of people.

What's with the angle of that back wheel? - is this a hovercraft?

I love pulling up to one of these at a traffic light. I just look over and laugh my a*s off.

I live right across the street from a high school. The amount of these things I hear daily is astonishing, really…

Literally no one is impressed by this.

Put the back wheels straight again and put on some smaller wheels that actually have some rubber on them and that car isn´t all that bad.

This happens to where I work alot. Thanks for the cold and the 3 days I won't be getting paid.

Pay me for sick days and I won't have to come in sick!

This is me currently. I'm quite unwell with a cough. I would have stayed at home if I had the choice but I am the sole earner in my household and I cannot afford to take any time off sick.

If people were not shamed for taking off or were paid enough that a day or two off to recover wouldn't break them, less people would go to work sick.

Yeah but a lot of people don’t have a choice because capitalism sucks and they’re just barely scraping by

Honestly, neither have I but I don't have children so I guess it's okay?

Wow, I've even changed my nieces and nephews a few times

Sooo... Trump.

A woman I know had a child when she was quite young. She immediately asked her mother to take care of the baby because she could never clean her poop. Btw she also divorced a few months later the girl was born. She is now a grandmother who has never helped her own daughter with her children. She really is terrified because her second husband is now quite old and sooner or later will need diapers. I guess they will hire a nurse

There's always a first.

Yeah! Stop shaming me for my French vanilla cappuccino Brian!

I drink black coffee because I like it like that, not for boasting!!! I veeeeeeery rarely eat sweets and don't really like sugar or sweet things, so black coffee is just for me! People talk about "shaming them" for cappuccino or French vanilla and others... but doesn't this point shame those who actually like black coffee?!

I sort of disagree. I consider coffee to be coffee when it is just the coffee and creamer, sugar, or a combination. If you get a fancy coffee with chocolate, caramel, and whipped cream it is still technically coffee but it's more like a dessert at that point. But if you like it that way, enjoy it!

I started drinking my coffee black since I had issues ordering coffee in Spain and ending up with a very milky, weak coffee beverage. "Cafe solo" is easy to pronounce too, so that's a plus... I don't care what other people drink.

I drink black coffee because it tastes better to me. Not something to brag about, just a personal preference. Why would you brag about how you drink your coffee? That's just weird.

Tater Tots are everywhere these days. I'd like to see a Venn diagram of them and incels, it could be a perfect overlap