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Welcome to the internet, a place to find like-minded people no matter what your background is. Sounds fun, right? Sadly, it can become quite toxic. And we're the ones to blame for it. Racism, misogyny, classism; all of society's wounds fester online just as much as they do in real life.

However, being insulting and mean often comes right back to bite you. Amongst the most impressive ways to fight internet trolls is by using the epic art of the comeback. Fierce, well-constructed, and piercingly accurate arguments end up in the subreddit called Murdered By Words. This community with over 2.6M members is the place where verbal assassins cut right through the BS and share some of the best burns.

When you’re done scrolling through this list, you’ll find some more inspiration for savage comebacks by checking out Bored Panda’s previous posts on the subreddit here, here, and here.

#1

F***ing Dumb Is An Understatement

F***ing Dumb Is An Understatement

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A while back, Bored Panda talked to the mods of r/MurderedByWords who said that "a murder should (but doesn't always have to) be more than a quick response or retort. The best murders are well-constructed, thought-out responses that leave the opening argument completely without any ability to reply.“

And there's more than one way to crush your opponent verbally. A burn or “a quick rapier thrust or stab to the heart (a short, swift reply) can be just as deadly as a drawn-out murder, and you'll frequently see both types in this sub," the moderator explained. And as you can guess, put-downs shared in this group might be some of the most enjoyable one-liners in human history.

But when you end up in the middle of a heated argument, emotions can take over. Especially if the person you're disagreeing with is sticking to an opinion that's just nonsense. So having in mind the rise in the number of flat earthers and anti-vaxxers, staying civil on the internet these past years can seem like an impossible task.

#2

Satanists Just Don't Acknowledge Religions

Satanists Just Don't Acknowledge Religions

Wiggles114 Report

And while ruthless put-downs seem entertaining in the online world, other principles apply when you're arguing with someone in real life. To find out more about how to deal with those who mock you, Bored Panda reached out to Neel Burton, M.D., a psychiatrist, philosopher and author of Heaven and Hell: The Psychology of the Emotions.

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Burton is doubtful that throwing put-downs to the mockers actually make us feel better. "Someone who's insulting you is already in a weak position—or why would they be insulting you—so it would be unkind to shatter them completely. If you respond with compassionate silence, the message will be both stronger and kinder,“ he advised.

#3

Murdered And Exposed And Torn Asunder...

Murdered And Exposed And Torn Asunder...

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Meeple13
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish that green was wrong... this inequality is something that needs to be changed in the world.

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#4

Deserved It

Deserved It

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River Webb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

what did she expect in a gender neutral bathroom? men lining up and waiting for her until she finishes using the bathroom?

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Clinical psychotherapist Eva Jajonie agrees with this line of thinking, and offers this explanation as to why the desire to offend someone is a sign of vulnerability: "When suppressed concerns and feelings, such as lack of self-esteem; self-defeating thoughts and behaviors; guilt; and anger, for example, are not treated or dealt with, the person uses insults to unleash anger, to escape dealing with the pain or trauma experienced.”

#5

See Ya, Wouldn't Wanna Be Ya

See Ya, Wouldn't Wanna Be Ya

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#6

Say Her Name

Say Her Name

kashannkilson Report

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Meeple13
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ah yes, a Bears linesman more famous than a medal-winning Olympian.

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Now that we know someone who is taking a cheap shot at you isn't that much of a threat, another thing to consider is status. According to Burton, we should try to keep our integrity: "If you engage the insulter on their own level, you are bringing yourself down and giving their insult far too much legitimacy.“ Staying levelheaded during an argument is not easy, but can be learned with practice. Like, try to notice when the adrenaline starts kicking in stopping it. Or take some deep breaths to remain calm, whatever method works for you.

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#7

What Did You Do?

What Did You Do?

chiragtutlani Report

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KJ
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a moronic comment from Goel, clearly doesn't know who he is critisising.

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#8

Science Is Hard

Science Is Hard

Genetikk-- Report

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Meeple13
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just learned that IV drips contain a body-altering substance called 'vitamins'. All people who died had at some stage consumed vitamins. Never using IV drips again.

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But when you hear ignorant slurs, it's often difficult to just stand by. Here's where using humor can be extremely effective. "A good comeback is one that the insulter can also laugh at. It should not be too devastating. Ideally, it should be tangential, maybe even absurd,“ Burton explained. If your reply is funny, well-timed and well delivered, it can diffuse the tension of the situation and undercut the mockery.

#10

The Call Is Coming From Inside The House

The Call Is Coming From Inside The House

The_vert Report

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The Scout
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a Non-American, I am still struggling hard to understand why everything that even remotely resembles a working social system is condsidered communism... It works in nearly every other country, with such side effects as keeping criminality low, eliminating the need for guns, raising the statistical life expectancy.

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#11

It's So Obvious And They Still Miss It

It's So Obvious And They Still Miss It

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LuckyL
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What I love most as an answer for this kind of questions is - so why do you wear glasses/pants/shoes - that's not how good created you

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To make the web a kinder and safer place, do an ethical 'gut test' before sharing, commenting, or posting. Just remember, the Murdered By Words community is always watching and no insults or cruel comments get past their sharp eyes.

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#14

Shoot Like A Girl

Shoot Like A Girl

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Madison Feehan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Bean-bag shaped mayonnaise-filled men" let that sink in for a minute. 🤣

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#15

I Will Leave This Kind Of Debate To You People

I Will Leave This Kind Of Debate To You People

Dank_Gun Report

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River Webb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

no genuinely nice, good person will care. the negative comments will come from jerks

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#17

There Is Nothing Inherently Great About Any Country

There Is Nothing Inherently Great About Any Country

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River Webb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

are you serious? its not like people go "huh I think I want to be born in a terrible country, try to escape, but end up locked up instead. yes that sounds like a perfect life"

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#18

Cognitive Dissonance (He Left Me On Seen Btw)

Cognitive Dissonance (He Left Me On Seen Btw)

DSKDG Report

#19

Some People Really Need To Stop Thinking About A Damn Rock

Some People Really Need To Stop Thinking About A Damn Rock

Dank_Gun Report

#20

Reading Is For Suckers

Reading Is For Suckers

beerbellybegone Report

#21

When You Come For Brazil But Forget You Live In The Us

When You Come For Brazil But Forget You Live In The Us

TheNotSoFreshFeeling Report

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Linda van der Pal
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wouldn't be surprised if they made the kids move classes just to get some energy out of their system...

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#22

What Weighs More, A Pound Of Feathers Or A Pound Of Iron?

What Weighs More, A Pound Of Feathers Or A Pound Of Iron?

beerbellybegone Report

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#24

Response About A Record Number Of Concert Attendees

Response About A Record Number Of Concert Attendees

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#25

Just Work Harder!

Just Work Harder!

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Helen Haley
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Had an entire conversation with a coworker about this. He's very convinced if he lost everything tomorrow, he'd be back to fine within a year. I countered with, so you'd just go out and get another job huh? Where are you going to shower? Where are you going to sleep? What are you going to eat? How would you get to that job? What clothes do you think you'll be wearing to that job?

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#26

Don't Forget To Recycle

Don't Forget To Recycle

adamjohnsonnyc Report

#27

Same Same, But Different

Same Same, But Different

beerbellybegone Report

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troufaki13
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They don't like it when their logic is being used against them! They're always "yes, but..."

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Wilf
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hello drivers! Honest question here (And I fully support your decision to drive a car). How do you feel when showing a cop your Drivers Licence, knowing it excludes people who have been caught drink driving, running over old ladies on crossings, and using cars in armed robberies?

susangreen_2 avatar
Susan Green
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel good about knowing that if I go into a bar or restaurant, there won’t be unvaccinated idiots in there.

jgarza avatar
J Garza
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Worst thing that can happen if you get vaccinated = small ouchy on your arm. Worst thing that can happen if you DON'T get vaccinated = death to you and your fellow human beings. So cut the s**t, grow up, and do something that is not just about you for once in your selfish life.

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NsG
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm going to get downvoted to oblivion, but the worst thing getting vaccinated isn't a small ouchie, it's some yukky side effects that wipe you out for up to 48 hours. I'm double vaccinated - I also lost two Sundays due to the side effects after each jab. Still a hell of a lot better than the alternative.

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Dodo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Do you think OP has an actual passport? Do they realise it's the same?

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Daniel (ShadowDrakken)
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Honestly, I feel great and wish it would exclude them more successfully. As of now, it's not really excluding any of them from anything, which is problematic for people who can't get vaxxed for whatever actual legit reason.

striksjeff avatar
Jeff Striks
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Public health is more important to me than someone else's decision to remain unvaxxed. Sue me

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Lena Flising
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm over 50 and still haven't gone through driver's education. I don't feel that the people who have a driver's licence exclude me. I made that choice myself, even though it was a choice to NOT do something. (I have finally applied for a driver's permit, and will hopefully soon be included in the Driving People group. :) )

karincanada avatar
Karin
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But until you get it, you are excluded from the group of people who can legally drive or rent a car.

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Karin
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How do you feel visiting a doctor and seeing their diploma on the wall knowing it excludes people from practing medicine? How do you feel entering a restaurant wearing pants when people without pants are excluded? FFS!

tsweda avatar
Thomas Sweda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same same, I feel GREAT, that it excludes the stupid, selfish uneducated people that might infect me or or members of my family, or the millions of intelligent, caring people in the world that HAVE been vaccinated, and in addition, wear masks to protect themselves, and others, too ignorant to do it for themselves! Just saying. ,

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NoneYa41
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

proving your age and showing your medical records are not the same. anyway I honestly don't care. I have mine.

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Llama_flower93
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They chose to exclude themselves from the collective society that wants to protect its fellow citizen. They're excluding themselves.

boredpanda_48 avatar
ZAPanda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hello legal age people. Honest question here (as I fully support your decision to risk your lives on the roads). How do you feel when showing your driver's license to get a cop to not fine you, knowing it excludes people?

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Trevor Nicholson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I bet they're mad about needing to have a passport to travel too, because it's their choice to not get a passport.

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Collette Moisan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not samr logic, as ID is to prevent underage from buying alcohol.

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Riley Quinn
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Me? I've got absolutely no problem excluding anti-vaxxers from everything. Even the ICU beds they're tying up while others die.

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Cat R
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Underage people for their protection. Not the same. That "vax" pass is only as good as the next booster and the one after that until it's a regular event. No one will ever be fully "vaxxed.". Still masking and distancing, still afraid, still having to update that pass, so not all that much freedom, imo.

chrissprucefield avatar
Chris Sprucefield
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I chose to protect myself and others by taking the vaccine, but these antivaxxers think they have the right to mock me, and demand to get to go about as anyone else, despite being way more than 30x more likely to be infected, spreading a potentially deadly disease? I think not. Knowingly spreading an infectious disease, is in most places a criminal offense, because of the likely harm, and in general, it's just a risk the society as a whole can not afford, so, think again, that is, if you have the facilities to..

bleh1965 avatar
Tom Jones
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why is getting vaxed and consuming alcohol being compared?

fairydragon avatar
Droopsnoot
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Yes, but you can't compare us to children who can,'t legally buy alcohol." "Actually, I can, cuz you're clearly a big baby"

icemagicion avatar
Sasha
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It doesent exclude people though. You choose to exclude yourself. Thats your choice not anyone elses....

abbysmink avatar
abby smink
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There actually is a difference. You can't control your age, but you can control your vaccine status.

itsjustme223 avatar
Shane S
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Makes me feel safer knowing that I have a lower risk of contracting the disease

24asquire avatar
LegendYak
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bruh you can literally go get vaccinated if you want. It's your own fault

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Sue Mullen Andersen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have an answer to the first question as well...I feel safer and am just fine with it. You are excluded based on your own choice, not something you have no control over.

karincanada avatar
Karin
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unfortunately, here in Quebec (I don't know about elsewhere), customers have to be vaccinated but staff don't. Even in hospitals and long term care homes! How f****d is that!

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Britton Raymond
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nope, it isn't drinking alcohol is not a right. Liberty and the ability to go where you please is.

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Vicki Cooper
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And another…aren’t our roads “somewhat” safer because driver’s licenses exclude people, who don’t know how to drive and would be a danger to us all, off the roads?

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Beta
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Guys I’m just asking you if I was an anti vaxer, not that I am, but if I was would u guys treat me differently?

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Reynard
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And you just keep being wrong: https://www.reuters.com/article/factcheck-covid-vaccines/corrected-fact-check-covid-19-vaccines-are-not-experimental-and-they-have-not-skipped-trial-stages-idUSL1N2M70MW

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#29

Shame On You, Crayola!

Shame On You, Crayola!

Crayola Report

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Vorknkx
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I fully understand how offensive the "n-word" is in the USA (for historical reasons and all), but Americans also need to understand that in other countries/cultures/languages it is not considered an offensive word (or it's just mildly offensive). It's unrealistic to expect everyone in the world to follow your cultural norms.

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#30

Parental Disparages

Parental Disparages

Miml-Sama Report

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Accurate. In the U.S., studies show that Black and white people use drugs at roughly the same rates, but Black people are 2-11 times more likely to be arrested for it, depending on the state. If you live in a state that has legalized marijuana but hasn't committed to reevaluating the sentences for people in prison for marijuana-related convictions, I hope you call your politicians and speak out.

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#32

The Misspell Just Perfects It

The Misspell Just Perfects It

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#34

Don't Disrespect Tom Hanks

Don't Disrespect Tom Hanks

beerbellybegone Report

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Jaekry
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tom Hanks and Keanu Reeves. And some others. You get the idea. :)

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#35

Alabama Would Like To Have A Word

Alabama Would Like To Have A Word

beerbellybegone Report

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Helen Haley
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is this idiot trying to draw a comparison from forced child marriage to equal marriage rights between two consenting adults? I just can't deal with that level of stupid. Even if that was what was in the picture, the comparison is just so very absurd.

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#36

Dude Just Roasted The Entire Human Race

Dude Just Roasted The Entire Human Race

various_reflections Report

#37

Anti-Birth Control And Probably Anti-Abortion Mbw

Anti-Birth Control And Probably Anti-Abortion Mbw

drjengunter Report

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MagicalUnicorn
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

my birth control are pretty great for my health though :D good skin, easy periods and less stress is good for both mental and physical wellbeing

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#38

Quitting 101

Quitting 101

TheNorthernMunky Report

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KJ
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would love to see the boss explaining this to the shift leader.

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#39

Nyt Reporter Has A Basic Question For Minnesota's Rollout Of "Not-Reaching Pouches," A Bold New Innovation In Hoping Cops Don't Shoot You!

Nyt Reporter Has A Basic Question For Minnesota's Rollout Of "Not-Reaching Pouches," A Bold New Innovation In Hoping Cops Don't Shoot You!

Freezer12557 Report

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ZAPanda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You wouldn't have cops that are jumpy and shooting first on the assumption that random traffic stops are cases where someone would pull a gun on them, IF GUNS WERE NOT GIVEN TO CITIZENS, you know, like normal countries?

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#40

Killed A Guy And One Country In A Single Sentence

Killed A Guy And One Country In A Single Sentence

VespasianTheMortal Report

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Sum Guy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've never seen a phrase so perfectly formulated to cause maximum damage and also compliment

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#41

Dude Wants “Young Woman To Help Rule His Kingdom”

Dude Wants “Young Woman To Help Rule His Kingdom”

brythax Report

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Susan Green
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why would any young woman want to help you run your imaginary ‘kingdom’?

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#42

Let's Get The Ignorant Ones To Write Policies

Let's Get The Ignorant Ones To Write Policies

nhannahjones Report

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Helen Haley
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Myabe if he'd been around when his kids were babies he would know what is involved with having one.

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#43

Is That More Of An Oops Or A Whoops?

Is That More Of An Oops Or A Whoops?

ackocher Report

#44

Dolphins Are Intelligent Animals

Dolphins Are Intelligent Animals

robmalcomson Report

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Gender is how you feel in your soul. Heck, if in your soul, you feel you are a dolphin and every day you want to commit to being a dolphin, be seen as a dolphin, and be treated as a dolphin, go for it buddy. I expect you'll quickly realize gender isn't a game and it's more complicated than you thought.

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#45

You Tell Him!

You Tell Him!

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Axlemunshine 001
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People like that will never admit to be in the wrong. They are always the victim, even when they exert violence on someone else (Says "See what you made me do!?" while beating up someone)

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#46

Can't Find Anyone To Hire

Can't Find Anyone To Hire

chaposagrift Report

#47

Anti-Vax Takedown On Nextdoor

Anti-Vax Takedown On Nextdoor

galaxathon Report

#48

Fact Checking Has Become A Bloodsport...

Fact Checking Has Become A Bloodsport...

bacchys1066 Report

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Nathan Pogorzala
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The company i work for has 240,000 employees and said "you don't get vaccinated by Nov 18th, you're fired" and i think that is wonderful.

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#50

Opposite Gender

Opposite Gender

Ketanjoshi Report

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