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My older daughters, 10-year-old twins, have a secret - at night, when they are already in bed, they pretend to be asleep until my wife and I "supposedly" fall asleep too, and then tell each other made-up scary stories. We don't mind. Firstly, they fall asleep after about 20 minutes of such stories. Secondly, children's secrets are so cute and amusing!
And so, parents in this online thread on the AskReddit community also share similar secrets of their children - which they, as the kids themselves presume, have no idea about. And Bored Panda, in turn, makes a selection of the most interesting and touching stories from this thread for you.
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#1
I was talking to my dad about getting away with stuff when I was a kid and said, "You never knew that I would stay up reading every night with my flashlight".
He got an amused look on his face and responded, "You did that for years and never changed the batteries in that flashlight did you?"
That's when I realized he knew and was encouraging it the whole time.
DennyS (denzoren) 1 year ago
Same thing I mentioned in another post, somehow it has infinite power lol
Novadoe (She/They) 1 year ago
I remember this from another post. I don't know if it's the same one or not, but I remember something about this same scenario, but described through the father's POV with the then kid
nottheactualphoto 1 year ago
So, tumblr predates the worldwide web by 16 years... Who knew?
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#2
My daughter's bike was lost/stolen after she left it at the bus stop. After a few days of looking she had given up on finding it. She was crushed and I couldn't take it. I picked up an identical bike, I took the training wheels off just like the first one. When I got home I tried to pass it off that I found her bike.
A couple of days later she told my wife, that she knew it wasn't her bike, but she didn't want to make me sad by telling me she knew.
I know that my daughter knows my secret, but is keeping it a secret from me.
#3
My best friend is a lesbian. We live in Russia, it’s not safe to discuss openly, and her mom is homophobic. So, the family doesn’t know.
Her father surely knows and just avoids all the drama by pretending he doesn’t. Last small talk with him at her place was hilarious.
— Hi username, how are you? Any kids?
— Not yet, no
— Are you also one of them?
— One of whom?
— Them - *pause, looks at his daughter* -Child free.
Jihana 1 year ago
Well, they need a new code word. Russia now wants to make it illegal to advocate a childfree lifestyle.
Philly Bob Squires 1 year ago
They seem to not be too happy about childless cat ladies over here either.
Load More Replies...It's not that we parents are ratting our kids out regarding their secrets - in fact, most of the stories told here are about secret stashes of sweets, late-night trips to the fridge, or just cute, clumsy attempts to hide some mischief. How right is it to not let our kids know that we know about the secrets they hide so desperately?
#4
My nephew lied as a kid but my mother knew and called him on it. He asked how she knew (I think she actually saw him do whatever it was wrong without him realising) she said his third eye on his forehead winked when he lied.
For about 2 years afterwards, whenever he lied he would do it with one hand over his forehead. So we *always* knew. It was great.
KnightOOwl 1 year ago
I told my neices and nephews that their tongue turns purple when they lie, so when they're clearly lying (they're all terrible liars) I just ask to see their tongue. They usually just cover their mouth or start giggling nervously and always eventually tell the truth.
#5
My five year old sneaks into his 18 month old brother's bed every night. He thinks he's being sneaky, but I hear him crawl back into his own bed when I get up at 5am. It keeps both of them calm because our neighbors are loud and scare them often.
Missy VanWinkle 1 year ago
That's such a loving brother (and parent). I'm so glad they all have comfort.
#6
Mine is still little enough to be very, very bad at hiding things. The other day he asked for a toffee. I said no. He went and got a toffee from the kitchen counter, 'hid' under the kitchen table, loudly unwrapped it, and when I still didn't react, he said 'I'm eating a toffee!' 😆.
"Some parents are sensitive to their children having such secrets, perceiving it as almost a betrayal. This is actually wrong," says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here. "And in fact, this is connected precisely with the development of children as independent individuals."
"After all, we adults may consider such secrets a mere trifle, but for little ones it can be almost the most important secret in their lives. And the fact that they will not be caught committing this or that prank is actually important for their further self-confidence."
#7
My 5 year old daughter has a stash of snacks inside of a cat tree. The cats usually end up dragging them out and then I overhear her scolding the cats.
I let this go on because 1) it's hilarious, and 2) it's nothing I haven't already given her. .
#8
My son has a crush on a girl in school. He walks home from school every day and visits our neighbors very old dog. My son gives him belly scratches and, in exchange, my neighbors dog doesn’t tell a soul what my son tells him.
However, the dogs owner…who is “working nearby in the garden” is an excellent eavesdropper and knows everything, and she in turn shares it with me.
He will never know that I know.
Kindly 1 year ago
Don't thin k you have sussed the bored panda demographic :)
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Disgruntled Panda 1 year ago
Yes, just let the kid have his secrets. It's part of his friendship with the dog. I think I'd feel quite betrayed in this case
Load More Replies... #9
My kids sneak food from the pantry after they go to bed. I always know because they forget to turn the light off. Every. Damn. Time. I refuse to let them know what their tell is.
Kangaroo 1 year ago (edited)
Lmao once when I was like 5 I snuck some lollipops from the pantry. I heard my dad coming down the hallway so my brilliant idea was to shove it down the front of my underwear (I was wearing a long Winnie the pooh nightie and underwear). I thought I had him completely fooled until I started walking down the hallway back to bed and he could hear the plastic wrinkling with every step 😅 we threw the underwear lollipops out lmao. Weird how vividly I remember this now that I’m in my 30s.
"In addition, a child in the process of growing up constantly tests the boundaries set by parents and elders. They need to make sure where they can go beyond these boundaries - even if only for one or two steps, and where it's absolutely vital to stay 100% obedient. And the task of adults here is to treat this process with understanding, gently regulating it. And have fun together, of course," Irina Matveeva sums up.
#10
My 7 year old keeps telling me she needs snacks for class and is selling them to the Jr. High kids on the bus.
She has made almost 60 bucks.
Her brother ratted her out.
pineapple87 1 year ago
Smart kid. My brother started selling coffee or of a thermos in junior high, but he was 14.
#11
My niece (4 yo) wrote her brothers name on the wall and claimed he did it. Her brother was not even a year old yet.
Gourdeous 1 year ago
Our daughter wrote the letter H in crayon on the wall and blamed the nanny (whose name starts with H)
Manic Mama 1 year ago
When a teacher let our class into the classroom, someone wrote my (unusual) name on the blackboard (I'm old). When the teacher called me out for it, I said (in my most scathing voice) "If I had written my name on the board, I would probably spelled it correctly." And that was the end of it.
Load More Replies... #12
My daughter thinks she "gets away" with reading when she should be asleep. The fact that I have such a large book expenditure each month is also a dead give away.
DennyS (denzoren) 1 year ago
Also I assume she never runs out of batteries for the flashlight.
Kangaroo 1 year ago
My sister would literally stay up until 4am every night reading, and she’d have to be up at 7 for school 😅 it sounds cute at first glance but my parents had to intervene after her grades took a nosedive. She was a huge bookworm though and would read at every opportunity- I remember standing alone with her in line for a ride at Disneyworld and being incredibly bored because she just wanted to read and I was just standing there because it didn’t occur to me that I might need a book at friggin Disneyworld 😅
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As for the stories about these secrets online - well, if everything stays just at the username level, then it can hardly be a real disclosure, right? After all, I think almost all kids have similar secrets - so your little one's attempt to hide the fact that they pooped somewhere outside the potty is not at all unique. Although it's always funny. And stinky.
#13
My 2 year old tries to hide a car behind his back when I put him to bed. I pretend not to see it until he gets in the crib and go “ooooohh you got me soooo good! You tricked daddy!” Then I tickle him which causes him to drop the car, I take it and hide it. Then I continue to play with him for a minute until he forgets about the car.
#14
He likes to read my journal.
I'm an avid writer and keep several, including my laptop.
It honestly makes me laugh because no one, since my little sister eons ago, has expressed such interest in what I write.
What he doesn't know is that the one on my laptop is my *real* one, and it's password protected. The ones I leave on my bookshelf and office are the ones that are "safe" for him to read.
It tickles me to question him about stuff he shouldn't know but *knows* because he read it in my journal.
"Son, how do you know your Aunt and I are planning a trip next weekend?"
Deer caught in headlights look.
"I must have overheard you two talking..."
"Hmmm...".
IDK_Something 1 year ago
OP's username checks out... "ChaoticInsomniac" sounds about like a person with time to write 2 journals.
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#15
That my 20 year old son is gay. I wish he would just come out and admit it so we can stop pretending we don't know.
Svenne O'Lotta 1 year ago
Because that's not their place. He will tell them when he's ready.
Load More Replies... DennyS (denzoren) 1 year ago
Maybe he's scared, it might be nice to have a safe conversation to kinda lead the conversation so they know it's okay.
HTakeover 1 year ago
Depends on if he knows and is ready to acknowledge it himself. Plenty are obvious to others but don't realize it themselves yet.
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Nelson Álvarez Sáez 1 year ago
Hug him and tell him "Will you ever give me a daughter in law, or a son in law? I don't want you to be alone."
Jan Feline 1 year ago
I am female. My mom once said to me, "You haven't had much luck with men. Have you considered dating women?" I love my mom! At the moment, I am in the beginning stages of a relationship with an agender person, and she is fine with that. I wish everyone had parents like mine
Load More Replies... lenka 1 year ago
Why should he "admit" anything? Perhaps your language here is the reason why he has not come out? There is nothing to "admit". He didn't commit a crime. Instead of just pretending you don't know, perhaps start using more inclusive language and expressing and open acceptance that does not make demands of him to 'admit' anything.
Sharkfin6 1 year ago
ON HIS OWN TIME< ON HIS TERMS IS THE CORRECT WAY! Good job parent for not pressing your child. That being said, it would be encouraging to their son to hear the parent(s) be openly supportive and accepting of other gay men. Provide the opportunity and reassurance that it is safe to do so when they are ready. All i heard from my mom growing up as a closeted gay boy was how "wrong, weird, dangerous" being gay was. I would have come out a lot sooner if I had a safe space to do so. Weirdly enough, now that i'm out my mom has changed her attitude regarding "the gays".
So, our dear readers, please feel free to scroll this whole selection, read the stories carefully shared here for you, and maybe add your own, in case you too have this incredibly happy burden of parenthood on your shoulders! After all, sharing this burden with someone else makes it easier to bear, doesn't it?
#16
That she pooped. Lady, I can smell your dirty diaper from across the room.
#17
I know that my 10 year old writes long letters professing his love to a girl in his class but never gives them to her and throws them in the trash.
DennyS (denzoren) 1 year ago
Damn but also, very nice that letter writing is still a thing, such a lost form in all this tech.
Brian Droste 1 year ago
Do you take then out of the trash and keep them? If not, you should, then later in life presents these to him in the future at some special event in his life.
#18
My kids read in bed at night after bed time. They thought they were so clever buying book lights with their Christmas money.
Kangaroo 1 year ago (edited)
My sister destroyed her grades by having parents who allowed her to read until 4am. It’s cute until you realize it isn’t. All she wanted to do is read and escape into her fantasy worlds and not do her schoolwork. She had a hard time adjusting to my parents telling her she had to do her homework before reading. Even up to grade 12, we struggled to get her to do anything besides just reading fantasy novels. She barely graduated, almost failed every class except English, despite being able to read at a university level since grade 6. It’s cute until it becomes an issue. She’s one of the smartest people I know and she’s currently, in her 30s, taking classes to get her high school grades up so she can work with animals. It sucks she can’t do it with her current grades because she just wouldn’t take her nose out of the book - not even for her therapist appointments that we tried to book her because we were worried she was depressed.
Sojourner 1 year ago
Have you considered that she might be neurodivergent?
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Marissa D 1 year ago
Dang, I did something very similar when I was little, but I used my nightlight lol
Bored Birgit 1 year ago
I did it as well as a kid, but my mom always caught me because the nightstand light was warm.
Load More Replies... #19
Not a parent, but when we were kids and one of us was sick, my parents would give us those disgusting purple Tylenol flu pills that you had to chew. My little sister would fake taking them and then stash them under the couch. Our house got flooded in a hurricane and when we pulled the couch out the carpet underneath was dyed purple from all the pills dissolving in the flood water.
glowworm2 1 year ago
I hated those chewable tablets but hadn’t mastered swallowing actual pills yet.
Alyssa Phillips 1 year ago
We used nerds! The little rock candy. We picked out the tiniest ones and had the kids practice swallowing, gradually getting bigger until they were pill sized.
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#20
He had a secret character/identity he dresses up as in his room with a jacket and hat and acts out some hero thing. He’s never told us what it is. Been doing it for years.
#21
Went to wake up my three year old one morning and thought he had smeared poop all over the wall. Except no poopy pull up. Further investigation revealed the wrappers from the chocolates I told him the night before he couldn’t have. When asked if he did it, he said mommy smeared the chocolate on the wall. Cus yeah, she’s just like that I guess 😂.
#22
Right now, my 10 year old is supposed to be asleep. Instead she's laying in bed searching for "Zoro with his shirt off" and composing a folder with the pics. She has completely forgotten that we share a Google account. She's hasn't even gotten to time ship zoro yet.
pineapple87 1 year ago
I used to have a gigantic poster of a topless Brad Pitt on my wall, but I "hid" it on the wall between the wardrobe and a bookshelf. I was like 13-14, though
Makenzie McNeal 1 year ago
oh i'd be so embarrassed if my parents found my board for astarion. images-670...68e11.jpeg 
#23
Mine wakes up early (some days) and sneaks in to take her phone to play games under her bed cover. I know it every time she does it. I don't tell anything.. 30 mins later I go to wake her up loudly so that she gets time to 'put it away'. And she pretends to have just woken up and I pretend to have not known that she was on her phone the last half hour.
pineapple87 1 year ago
I only remember pretending to be asleep on my birthday because I knew I was getting breakfast in bed
Missy VanWinkle 1 year ago
Wise parent. Choose your battles. And this ain't one of 'em. My mom did the same kind of stuff ... and earned my undying love and devotion for her lovingkindness
#24
Mine is barely a toddler so right now it’s
“No, I’m TOTALLY not pooping right now, just the floor got REALLY interesting, so I need to squat down to look at it for a few minutes!”
She plays with her fingers in the carpet as if she’s doing a good job fooling us.
Kangaroo 1 year ago
Have you never been around a baby who squats and makes faces when they’re pooping in their diaper?
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Colleen Glim 1 year ago
If she’s that aware of when she is pooping, it’s time to start potty training
#25
Oh, my kids think they're master spies sneaking candy at night, but little do they know, the wrappers left under the couch are like neon signs saying, 'We were here!' It’s like trying to hide a body but leaving the fingerprints.
Lost Panda 1 year ago
My children will try and throw the snack trash away in the bathroom cans forgetting that I am the one that takes out all the trash. Their mother cares, I don't since they are all at that growth spurt stage. As long as they use a trash can, then I'm happy.
Feathered Dinosaur 1 year ago (edited)
It's more like when hiding a body you leave blood and gore lying around everywhere
pineapple87 1 year ago
Well, if you don't leave dna behind, at least you have plausible deniability for having committed the crime
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#26
My daughter (10) has been using a shared Google doc to chat with a friend while they play games on the switch. She told me yesterday "I delete all the text so don't bother trying to see what I wrote." I wasn't planning on reading it but since she spoke up I went and checked and it was the most boring to the point game stuff ever. What pokemon they wanted to trade and what courses they wanted to do in Mario Kart.
Brian Droste 1 year ago
If she deleted all the text, how were you able to check the text messages? Just curious because I am not all that tech savy.
BoredPamda 1 year ago
Google docs have a "history" you can check that has all revisions and edits
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#27
My friend has a 13-year-old son. I used his laptop to google something and his search history popped up with “thick girl walking dog” and “jiggle physics.” Lololololol.
#28
I think my 11 year old hides how much he really knows about stuff.
Example: he wrote his Xmas list for ‘Santa’ but I’m pretty sure he doesn’t believe anymore. He’s a smart boy and you know, the internet is at the tip of his fingers. I just think he won’t admit it incase he thinks he won’t get any presents which is not the case.
There’s also been incidences where he has said a grown up phrase e.g. about sex and when I’ve asked him what he thinks it means and he clams up when I explain it to him.
Kids growing up too fast nowadays.
Peter Bear 1 year ago
Kids have always 'grown up too fast'. Because parents don't want to see their children become adults, and so we ignore the evidence. As recently as 150 years ago, your child would have been working 10 hours a day in a sweatshop, and would only be a year below age-of-consent. In Victorian England, mind you. So let's not say today's kids grow up too fast, huh? It's only in the last century that kids have been able to BE kids.
Julia Mckinney 1 year ago
Kids didn't become kids as we know it until sometime around 100 years ago. The concept of teenagers is even newer. That didn't take hold until right after WW2.
#29
Not believing in Santa, she's playing her cards close for the other two that still seem to believe.
Peter Bear 1 year ago
I'm 44 years old and I believe in Santa. Because 'Santa' isn't a person, he's a state of mind. Anyone can be Santa, and everyone should be.
Missy VanWinkle 1 year ago
My mom said if I didn't believe in Santa he wouldn't bring me anything anymore -- so I still believe!
#30
That they are up in bed watching tv and not sleeping. I could resolve this but gives me a needed hour or two break.
#31
My three year old tells me she washed her hands after going to the bathroom... She can't reach the faucet on her stool.
#32
They think we don't know what furry culture actually is.
DennyS (denzoren) 1 year ago
Furry culture is basically people who really like build-a-bear...like stakeholders. lol
_-DungeonKeeper-_ 1 year ago
This is your daily reminder that not all furries are bad, it's a fairly small minority. Most of them are really great
Peter Bear 1 year ago
Furry culture is the oldest fandom in humanity and has been around for as long as there have been humans.
Sara Harvilla 1 year ago
Some adults don't know what furry culture is! Our church advertised a children's event where kids could spend time with their furry friends. It was not fun explaining why they needed to change that one.
#33
The cheap prepaid Android phone they bought so they have something to use when they get grounded from the phone we provide. Also so they can install apps we prohibit.
#36
Ha! Overheard my son spilling a bunch of tea the other day. First was when he was about 9, (he’s 14 now) he came downstairs crying about a broken tv. He claimed he accidentally shot a Nerf gun at it. Come to find out he was game raging and punched the tv. Then the second broken TV he said fell off a table when he bumped it or something. Come to find out it was game rage again, threw his computer mouse and it bounced and hit the tv. Also learned that apparently the girls at school really like him… when he got himself a little gf apparently one of her friends said to “watch out because at least 6 other girls wanted him” lolol having a high schooler is a wild ride 🤣.
Peter Bear 1 year ago
Game rage is fine. Rage-induced violence is not. And that's true regardless of where the rage came from.
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Renee Fiola-Homen 1 year ago
Sounds like you may want to address this game rage before you run out of tvs. Or he doesn't get a 3rd
What do you think ?
Child of the Stars 1 year ago
I really worry that my 11yo's anxiety is worse than they're letting on. It's at least partially an irrational worry because they have a much better support system than I did at that age and they've always been good about reaching out when they're struggling. But I remember vividly how much I hurt at that age, and it kills me to think my own kid might be hurting like that.
pineapple87 1 year ago
I was looking at nud3 pics in a book at the library when I was 6 - a friend and I thought we were really sneaky. Apparently the librarian not only noticed but also told my mom who said "go ahead if she curious". Though I recently asked her if she ever knew when I had a crush on someone and that I apparently did hide pretty well
Child of the Stars 1 year ago
I really worry that my 11yo's anxiety is worse than they're letting on. It's at least partially an irrational worry because they have a much better support system than I did at that age and they've always been good about reaching out when they're struggling. But I remember vividly how much I hurt at that age, and it kills me to think my own kid might be hurting like that.
pineapple87 1 year ago
I was looking at nud3 pics in a book at the library when I was 6 - a friend and I thought we were really sneaky. Apparently the librarian not only noticed but also told my mom who said "go ahead if she curious". Though I recently asked her if she ever knew when I had a crush on someone and that I apparently did hide pretty well
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