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People talk so much every day, you'd think we'd run out of things to say. But we're as good with words as the weather is with ruining a perfectly fine day. Just take a look at the subreddit r/BrandNewSentence, for example. From the divorce rate among socks to the crotch fruit we make our employees, its members collect sentences they think have never been written before, and their collection is pretty impressive. Continue scrolling and take a look at some of the subreddit's top posts.

#1

Name That Death Megatron 300

Name That Death Megatron 300

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#2

We’ll Keep Ye Plump As A Partridge

We’ll Keep Ye Plump As A Partridge

benphillip Report

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Helen Haley
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My metabolism is confused about the weather. It is convinced that winter is coming, and I must be prepared with internal fuel.

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As soon as we put originality and language in the same equation, I can't help but think about the infinite monkey theorem. It states that a monkey hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount of time will almost certainly type any given text, such as the complete works of William Shakespeare.

In fact, we can make it even more extreme: the monkey would almost surely type every possible finite text an infinite number of times. But the probability that monkeys filling the entire observable universe would type a single complete work, such as Shakespeare's Hamlet, is so tiny that the chance of it occurring during a period of time hundreds of thousands of orders of magnitude longer than the age of the universe is extremely low. Technically, however, it is not zero.

#4

I Do Not Vibe With This Soil

I Do Not Vibe With This Soil

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Ryan Deschanel
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I planted seeds in a flower bed... They did not grow, except I the alley.

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#5

Soak It In Olive Oil

Soak It In Olive Oil

2Apples3 Report

r/BrandNewSentence has a lot of sentences that strike the perfect balance between poetry and logic. In other words, they're vivid and they make sense. They're memorable. Like a good slogan. Or a song chorus that gets stuck in your head. But personally, I think the best brand new sentence came even before the Internet.

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"For sale: baby shoes, never worn." The story goes that this particular quote is a testament to Ernest Hemingway's extraordinary talent. Allegedly, these six words were a result of a $10 bet among Hemingway and several writers at a lunch spiced with wordplay

#7

Brad And His Cloud Of Lies

Brad And His Cloud Of Lies

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#8

Marked Slices Of Tree

Marked Slices Of Tree

KatieOldham Report

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I want cake
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I definitely don't 'hallucinate' when I read. I love reading but have little to no visual imagination. I just love language and the associations the right combination of words can create, and when I read, I'm super focused on the use of language and the cadence of the writing. I will on occasion reread a section multiple times just because it was written so ridiculously well it makes me giddy.

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People say Hemingway asked each of his colleagues to place a $10 wager, and in return, he would match it. His task was to create this shortest of stories.

The only problem is, Hemingway may have never written it. Or if he did, the story wasn't entirely his invention. Similar "ads" have been recorded years earlier. But no matter who came up with it, I believe this piece of flash fiction would get a lot of upvotes on r/BrandNewSentence.

#9

No No, He's Got A Point

No No, He's Got A Point

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#11

Lesbians To The Rescue

Lesbians To The Rescue

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#16

“I Was So Insulted I Woke Up”

“I Was So Insulted I Woke Up”

Blackpanther786110 Report

#17

Those Are The Holes Poked In The Container So We Can Breathe

Those Are The Holes Poked In The Container So We Can Breathe

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#18

A Brain The Size Of A Chocolate Chip

A Brain The Size Of A Chocolate Chip

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A B C
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At what point in time this self-deprecation has become mainstream in the internet, and why?

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#19

Spare Me The Itch Juice, Thank You

Spare Me The Itch Juice, Thank You

notsofancymum Report

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Gandalf the Pink
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The itch juice is their saliva 💦💦 your body's immune system reacts to it with histamine making the area itch. They actually need to spit in the hole they made because their saliva works as an anticoagulant, meaning that your blood doesn't immediately clot and repair the hole, so they can drink until they're full.

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#20

The Future Is Meaningless But The Pasta Is Now

The Future Is Meaningless But The Pasta Is Now

Matelord99 Report

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Alex the awful German
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate to be the "smartass": But this is how our mind actually works. It is really interesting, and there is scientific proof. Some of you might have read "the chimp paradox" by Prof. Steve Peters. There you will find the details about it.

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#21

“Festering...”

“Festering...”

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J. F.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I remember when politics where about what's best for the country, and not just a s*** throwing competition. Goes for every party

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LazyPanda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When? I recently read an article on America's first parties and they were still throwing the poos. Just didn't have social media to blow it up so fast and plummet the IQ so easily. But I suppose maybe politicians were still more poised and less shameless than these, even if the tactics aren't new

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Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So do I. Believe it or not, both Nixon and Reagan would be considered liberals today. Hitler and Stalin, on the other hand, would be welcomed as bros.

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Louloubelle
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, I'm not sure about Reagan there. He was the one that got us into the whole trickle down economics debacle.

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Marcia Cash
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Back in the 60's, Republicans and Democrats switched names when Kennedy stood up for civil rights. I was there. It was scary.

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Sharon Ingram
Community Member
2 years ago

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Lol! What a crock. Dems have been saying this for years so you wouldn't KNOW they founded the KKK and voted 100% AGAINST civil rights.

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Bill
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This one is unfortunately true. I changed my party to unaffiliated when I registered my truck last week. What has the party of Abe, Ike Teddy and Ronald turned into?

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Full Name
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ronald was pushing trickle down economics, the war on drugs, gay marriage was illegal, he fired the air traffic controllers on masse because of the strike, and they were censoring everything and talking about "the moral majority". So you'd rather have that than any Republican now?

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Hannah M
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm so old I can remember when tolerance meant accepting people despite their different opinions instead of demonising, dehumanising, intentionally misrepresenting, and coming up with strings of insults for them.

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John Baker
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've never been tolerant enough to accept traitors who try to overthrow my legally elected government. Sorry.

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Randy Klefbeck
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And think that their ideology is somehow superior too. That is what is really scary.

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Karen Lyon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am that old too, and it describes the McConnell/Nunez/Cruz, et. al. contingent perfectly. Particularly the f***tangle thing.

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Nothanks L. Walk
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My latin's not what it was, I fear... How many sides does a fucktangle have again?

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Vicki Perizzolo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

that was before they all became brain-washed cultists following the American Hitler -in-Orange...

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Lynn Morello
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

that's one way of looking at it. I can't get over that Americans will look on a once friend who votes for a different party as an enemy.

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Suzanne Haigh
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Politian's over the last 20 - 30 years have changed form doing their job to letting everyone know how god they are (untrue) and posing, which ever country you live in

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Elaine Mattingly
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Politics , a word thet seems to convince people to behave like degenerates.

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CharChar Binx
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I watched my family go from basically reasonable and open minded people with conservative views on economics to Trump supporters who despise liberals and act as if they are evil. It’s so disheartening. They still wore their masks though and got vaccinated thank god.

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Leo Domitrix
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I realized I am old, thanks to this. Off to apply for my AARP card.

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Mazer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I believe a Hallmark card apologizing to the mustelid family is in order

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Julie C Rose
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I didn’t even know what “seditious” meant until they started that bullshit.

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Full Name
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2 years ago

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You just ignored 4 months of rioting, including a couple dozen deaths, against government controlled police then, eh? Typical modern Liberal. Soon as 5 people die due to Republicans, NOW it's an issue? You guys make me sick.

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Margaret Weaver
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How many seditions does a fucktangle have, anyway? I've been trying to draw one but the vertices don't meet up.

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Jill Bussey
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's ALL politicians. In EVERY country. Throughout history. Am I a cynic? No, a realist.

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Kirk Mckeever
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Check out the Republican Party Platform for the '50's Presidential elections.....very reasonable, and thoughtful---Ike would be kicking SOOoooo many asses today......Eisenhower was possibly the best President ever.....

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Paul Quigley
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If that’s what you think then you might be the hating treason weasels!!

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Susan Mercurio
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Totally convinced that their version of the sky-king is the best one

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Billy Maguire
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

GREAT thinking, considering that's how Hillary lost 2016 and got us in this mess in the first place.

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Sarah Grape
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

.....wouldn't this time have been back when lincoln invented the group?

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Louloubelle
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is lovely. I wish I had the mental capacity to remember it.

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John Baker
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like you're a typical conservative whose emotional and intellectual development stopped somewhere around second or third grade.

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John Baker
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You could say it, yes, but like everything else that comes out of a Republican's mouth, it would be a lie.

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Cassia Winters
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not all republicans are like that. Just Trump supporters. Trump sets a terrible example for republicans

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John Baker
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If the behavior of our Republican Congress critters is any indication, it would appear that 95% of Republicans are Trump supporters.

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Easily Excitable Panda
Community Member
2 years ago

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Tim Hancock
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow Jeff , this sounds like a modern day liberal socialist Democrat.

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bill marsano
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm so old I remember when mainstram democrats were basically reason able people with differing views view on economics and not a festering tangle of tanx-and-spendthrift democracy-haters with a strong streak of fascism.

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Berry Muhl
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It ain't a democracy. It's a republic. So...democrats are intrinsically wrong, and Republicans intrinsically right. :)

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Tim Hancock
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow Jeff, a good description of today's liberal socialist Democrats.

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Mary Hilton
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But Democrats endorse human trafficking, so I guess they're okay...?

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John Baker
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is being a lying sack of s**t and a deluded moron a prerequisite for being a Republican? Certainly seems that way.

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Nachman Braunfeld
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

both partys suck...😊 okay? ik whoever owns this site is a Democrat but both partys are hypocrites fyi

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Anita Pickle
Community Member
2 years ago

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I remember when democrats were not so full of hate. Both sides are nuts

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John Baker
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I remember when Republicans didn't constantly accuse Democrats of their own sins. If Democrats are "full of hate", it's only in response to the hate we receive.

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Tumo Nakadashi
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2 years ago

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Here's a guy that blames others for his failure life. Guarantee.

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Tres D
Community Member
2 years ago

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I remember when liberals were open minded peace loving people. Now they're hate filled violent anti-American close minded sheep!

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Marie Stanford
Community Member
2 years ago

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I bet you are one of those tolerant, diversity-loving Democrats with a ‘Love trumps hate’ sign on your front lawn

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Chucky Cheezburger
Community Member
2 years ago

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The same can be said about any social or political group that a person doesn't agree with. Political parties want one thing--control. Whether Republican or Democrat, they want to tell people how they should live. They're opposite sides of the same coin. The only differance between them are the tactics that they use. Don't be fooled- they don't give a farts worth of damm about you. All they care about is your tribute and obedience to them.

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John Baker
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have never agreed with Republicans, but I never hated them until Fox "News" and right-wing hate radio turned them into rabid, spittle-spewing, hate-filled howler monkeys incapable of thinking or believing anything other than the bullshit and propaganda they're spoon fed by the likes of Donald Trump, Sean Hannity and Tucker Carlson. As for the Democrats, their biggest fault is lacking the balls to stand up and tell the Republicans to go f**k themselves.

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Sharon Ingram
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2 years ago

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And republicans feel the same way about you seditious, treasonous Democrats.

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John Baker
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Republicans also believe Obama is a Muslim, Hillary Clinton eats babies and Bill Gates is microchipping Covid vaccines. Did you have a point, other than the one under your hat?

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Nevits Yibble
Community Member
2 years ago (edited)

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Sorry, but republicans and democrats have both turned equally toxic and bad. One is no better than the other. People today have their identities SO wrapped up in their political party now - both sides have reduced themselves to mobs of skull-f*cked followers. Each suffers from a smug superiority complex, continually demonizing the other as pure evil.

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John Baker
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bothsiderism at its most insipid. I have some news for you. Today's Republicans *are* pure evil.

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Holes2Heaven
Community Member
2 years ago

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What an uneducated sheep listening to the media and not doing any research of your own. It's people like this who are the downfall of our society

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Holes2Heaven
Community Member
2 years ago

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Ugh I would basically say the same but against Democracies

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Don Quixote
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2 years ago

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I’m so old I remember when democrats enslaved black people

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John Baker
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, Republicans did too. Lincoln only freed the slaves because he saw it as a necessity. In his own words: "If I could have preserved the Union without freeing a single slave, I would have done so."

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Jarrod Nichols
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2 years ago

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Lol! Calling people names right before complaining about them hating you. Hilarious!

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Cheri Aline Sydney
Community Member
2 years ago

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Jeff, it appears that the torrents of hate are spewing form your pie hole... We'd be better off if you'd close your trap!

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Zillyboy
Community Member
2 years ago

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I remember a time when people recognized and accepted that others might have significantly different ideas, rather than calling them festering treason-weasels.

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2 years ago

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You are delusional. Today it's the Democrats who are censoring and controlling speech and being authoritarian. The Republicans are going more Libertarian, which has a hippie element of "stop trying to control me". FFS this post is breathtakingly off. It's the exact opposite of this post. The Left is controlling and authoritative and talking lunacy, and the Right is much more prone to logic and reason.

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Essex Eagle
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2 years ago

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And i remember when democrats actually understood that part of their name originated from the word democracy and what democracy meant.... oh no hold on they never have.

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Ryan Deschanel
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2 years ago

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I don't even want to imagine what he would call Democrats, then...

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#22

I Am Chorizo

I Am Chorizo

kevinowdziej Report

#23

Be The Inexplicable Phenomena You Wish To See In The World

Be The Inexplicable Phenomena You Wish To See In The World

yoyoha Report

#24

Floppy Discs

Floppy Discs

karenvideoeditor Report

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Auntriarch
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Never mind the computers, how about the printers that were so noisy they had their own room. Bit like my brother really

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#25

World Changer

World Changer

ronnui_ Report

#26

“Gays Are Using Windmills To Waft Homosexual Mists Into Your Home”

“Gays Are Using Windmills To Waft Homosexual Mists Into Your Home”

jackwick23 Report

#27

Crotch Fruit Employees

Crotch Fruit Employees

MaxQuill Report

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bryguy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

y'all gots some kids y'all can use to gets y'all some stuffs whens y'alls wants some stuffs?!?!?! ...like really. I can't stand reading that s**t.

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#28

Have We Checked All Food To See If Exploding Them Makes Them Into Something Better, Or Did We Just Stop With Corn?

Have We Checked All Food To See If Exploding Them Makes Them Into Something Better, Or Did We Just Stop With Corn?

ShinigamiDady Report

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I I
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

no ive blown many types of bean up in the microwave by accident , if you're after a big mess go with beans

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#29

“Are Millennials Killing The Serial Killer Industry?”

“Are Millennials Killing The Serial Killer Industry?”

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#31

Classic Jesus Or Republican Jesus?

Classic Jesus Or Republican Jesus?

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#33

Cotton Eye Joe Has Been Terminated

Cotton Eye Joe Has Been Terminated

SwipingNoSwiper Report

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Mazer
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Awww, spidey boi be the best room mates. Gets rid of bugs and adorns the place with lacey goodness

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#34

Two Mini Hellpanthers

Two Mini Hellpanthers

Lemightyman Report

#36

Smoked Myself Back To Segregation

Smoked Myself Back To Segregation

Capt_of_the_Borealis Report

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Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thought you had some powerful, time machine weed. Oh, would that there was such magic in the world. But I dream.

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#39

Wiggles Concert

Wiggles Concert

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elStiJneriNO
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

why not take your progeny to italy? they only like spaghetti anyway

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#41

Funniest Sh*t I've Seen All Week

Funniest Sh*t I've Seen All Week

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#43

Cyberbullied And Entire Studio

Cyberbullied And Entire Studio

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#44

LEGO Ass Of A Fictional Bipedal Animal

LEGO Ass Of A Fictional Bipedal Animal

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#45

Cool Sport Rush

Cool Sport Rush

RyckandMorti Report

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Bobert Robertson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Reminds me of the lady from a few months ago that didn't want to smell like lavender, and instead wanted to smell like Eagle Claw Mountain or something

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#46

One Nice Way To Feel Better About Yourself Is To Imagine What Steve Irwin Would Say About You If You Were A Little Snake He Found In The Desert

One Nice Way To Feel Better About Yourself Is To Imagine What Steve Irwin Would Say About You If You Were A Little Snake He Found In The Desert

markedly Report

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Friday
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Crikey! Have a look at this little ripper, isn’t she a beaut?! You know, you can touch a stick of dynamite, but if you touch a venomous snake it’ll turn around and bite you and kill you so fast it’s not even funny. Give her plenty of space and she’ll be right.

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#47

Dress For The Jockey You Want, Not The Jockey You Have

Dress For The Jockey You Want, Not The Jockey You Have

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Alex the awful German
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have the vision of an old fashioned british cottage, where there is a house with a polished brass sign saying "HORSE TAYLOR"

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#48

Life Pro Tip

Life Pro Tip

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Bacony Cakes
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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#49

Life Is A Tornado And I’m Just A Cow Being Spun Around For Cinematic Value

Life Is A Tornado And I’m Just A Cow Being Spun Around For Cinematic Value

MartinniTheJawa Report

#50

Snarrot

Snarrot

s3csh3n8 Report

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