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Scotland, a country that has been part of the UK for more than 300 years, is known for many things, such as deep-friend mars bars, whiskey, and numerous genius inventions that make our lives so much easier. But there's probably one thing you didn't know about Scottish people, it's their one of a kind sense of humor that started making waves across the internet, especially on twitter. Not only are their jokes crude and funny, but they are also written in the way they speak. Scots have the unique ability to make other laugh and make their thrive at the same time. Ready for some unadulterated jokes? Then scroll below
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Liam Walsh 5 years ago
Remember having that conversation with a mate at work when we were commuting - wasp gets on at our station and ends up in London not knowing what the f**k happened!
#8
Lucas 5 years ago
Baby photo on tshirt looks like there is a real baby in the washer
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#13
Betsy Knox 5 years ago
Flip flops and thongs are interchangeable terms for the footwear in California.
#24
Becca Gizmo the Squirrel 5 years ago
Every time I go to run the dishwasher my husband insists on jumping in the shower and turns off the dishwasher. Then later I go to unload it and it isn't clean. Well it happens at least once a week anyway.
#27
Claire Ellingford 5 years ago
Can't stop laughing ....!! Wish you Scots would visit Australia more; I'd pay good money to see some of you in a comedy show! That put a big smile on my face to start the day thanks!
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Munhu Afro 5 years ago
Ma..... ARGE. Marge Simpson. Mom? Goodness you nearly gave me a heart attack mom.
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Chris Jones 5 years ago
When you can accelerate and brake at the same time it's probably not going to go well...
#58
Chris Jones 5 years ago
"They think 2 of the daughters are actually me with and without make up" - that doesn't mean what you think it does.
#59
M O'Connell 5 years ago
Is that a lunch hamster, or a dinner hamster? Does it come with a beverage?
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PotatoNinja5000 5 years ago
I'm a bit worried. The Harry Potter fandom hasn't found this entry yet. Hope they're okay.
#78
Astrid Nineor 5 years ago (edited)
Would that even work? (Be accepted) ? Seems unlikely nowdays
#80
Nicky OldfieldDesciple 5 years ago
At least he bought her a card. I had to remind my dad when it was my mother's birthday and buy her card and present for him with the €20 he gave me for them EVERY YEAR. If it went over the €20 had to pay the balance despite him having a well aid job and I was on the dole.
#86
Jess-a-men 5 years ago
What's that thing she's holding? It looks like she's breastfeeding a hedgehog!
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Chris Jones 5 years ago
Nah-ah - not fair. Watched and learned from all the footballers diving and rolling around in 'agony'.
#93
Astrid Nineor 5 years ago
Warning folks, paracetamol. IS dangeroous. Seriously, you can OD on it (probably not from, say, three, but it does cause damage with prolonged use.
#94
Chris Jones 5 years ago
🎶 That'll be the lack of crashes which are caused by car eyelashes!! 🎶
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What do you think ?
Geth 5 years ago
This is the first time I'm learning that unlike every other English speaker on Earth, Scottish people people write IN THEIR ACCENT. Like "wanty" instead of "want to" and "yersel" instead of "yourself." It's very strange. I'm now imagining if other people with regional accents wrote English to convey their spoken accents, like if working class Bostonians wrote "ay, whair'd ya pahk the cah?" And Queen Elizabeth wrote like, "Eim spaking to yehoh et what eh knaoh . . ."
Loki’s Lil Butter Knife 5 years ago
Geth, many of these tweets, posts, and instant messages contain slang words, phrases, and terminology from "Scots" (not to be confused with Scots Gaelic). There is a huge debate within the linguistic community where Scots is a dialect or a language- I will not get into that here since I could probably right an entire dissertation on that. If you want to learn more about Scots, I would recommend checking out this website: https://www.scotslanguage.com/What_is_Scots%253F_uid2/What_is_Scots_%253F
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Harley Hans Hoglin 5 years ago
Read a sci-fi story, the main character is the captain of a ship, in something similar to Star Trek's Federation. They passed a law that said you can speak in your native tongue, and no one can make you speak standard. The ship's engineer is Scottish, and the captain never knows what he is saying.
Kenny Kulbiski 5 years ago
Always wanted to go to Scotland but I'll probably never be able to. I guess it's a good thing because I'm to damn old to learn a foreign language.
Dilly Millandry 5 years ago
Not all Scottish accents are the same - some parts have softer accents that are much easier to understand for the non-Scottish ear.
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Lauren Elise 5 years ago
I didn't understand half of these...but I read it in a Scottish accent so I crapped myself laughing anyway
Tiny Dynamine 5 years ago
It's funny imagining no-native English speakers trying tae read these and finding it hard. I like reading them in a Scottish accent.
Arthur White 5 years ago
Grew up in South West Scotland, Ayr. Accents can change dramatically within 10 miles. Wonderful.
5 years ago
English is my second language and I don't have an accent. But while I'm reading these posts, I feel like I am reading it with an accent and I loved it!!!
Elsahthescienceguy 5 years ago (edited)
I’m half Scottish and most would call me funny (I say some because so many people hate me 😂)
Geth 5 years ago
This is the first time I'm learning that unlike every other English speaker on Earth, Scottish people people write IN THEIR ACCENT. Like "wanty" instead of "want to" and "yersel" instead of "yourself." It's very strange. I'm now imagining if other people with regional accents wrote English to convey their spoken accents, like if working class Bostonians wrote "ay, whair'd ya pahk the cah?" And Queen Elizabeth wrote like, "Eim spaking to yehoh et what eh knaoh . . ."
Loki’s Lil Butter Knife 5 years ago
Geth, many of these tweets, posts, and instant messages contain slang words, phrases, and terminology from "Scots" (not to be confused with Scots Gaelic). There is a huge debate within the linguistic community where Scots is a dialect or a language- I will not get into that here since I could probably right an entire dissertation on that. If you want to learn more about Scots, I would recommend checking out this website: https://www.scotslanguage.com/What_is_Scots%253F_uid2/What_is_Scots_%253F
Load More Replies... Harley Hans Hoglin 5 years ago
Read a sci-fi story, the main character is the captain of a ship, in something similar to Star Trek's Federation. They passed a law that said you can speak in your native tongue, and no one can make you speak standard. The ship's engineer is Scottish, and the captain never knows what he is saying.
Kenny Kulbiski 5 years ago
Always wanted to go to Scotland but I'll probably never be able to. I guess it's a good thing because I'm to damn old to learn a foreign language.
Dilly Millandry 5 years ago
Not all Scottish accents are the same - some parts have softer accents that are much easier to understand for the non-Scottish ear.
Load More Replies... Lauren Elise 5 years ago
I didn't understand half of these...but I read it in a Scottish accent so I crapped myself laughing anyway
Tiny Dynamine 5 years ago
It's funny imagining no-native English speakers trying tae read these and finding it hard. I like reading them in a Scottish accent.
Arthur White 5 years ago
Grew up in South West Scotland, Ayr. Accents can change dramatically within 10 miles. Wonderful.
5 years ago
English is my second language and I don't have an accent. But while I'm reading these posts, I feel like I am reading it with an accent and I loved it!!!
Elsahthescienceguy 5 years ago (edited)
I’m half Scottish and most would call me funny (I say some because so many people hate me 😂)
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