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Scotland, a country that has been part of the UK for more than 300 years, is known for many things, such as deep-friend mars bars, whiskey, and numerous genius inventions that make our lives so much easier. But there's probably one thing you didn't know about Scottish people, it's their one of a kind sense of humor that started making waves across the internet, especially on twitter. Not only are their jokes crude and funny, but they are also written in the way they speak. Scots have the unique ability to make other laugh and make their thrive at the same time. Ready for some unadulterated jokes? Then scroll below

#1

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awkwardandodd Report

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Lucas
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The very least of the weird things on the Edinburgh to Glasgae train you'll hear...

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    #4

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    Rauss_Mc Report

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    Liam Walsh
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Remember having that conversation with a mate at work when we were commuting - wasp gets on at our station and ends up in London not knowing what the f**k happened!

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    #5

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    Bivsterr Report

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    Lucas
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He wants the deep fried mars bar but knows he's not supposed to eat chocolate!

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    #13

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    abigailambrose Report

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    Betsy Knox
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Flip flops and thongs are interchangeable terms for the footwear in California.

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    #15

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    suzannne_x Report

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    N G
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lol but that's not how they fill the shelves in asda

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    #19

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    ry_ndavies Report

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    Lucas
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ryan you cannae say a*s - it's nae Scottish. You mean a**e man, a**e.

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    #22

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    FlannyTweets Report

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    Stille20
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That being said, my boyfriend uses fruitier shampoo than I do... but he does smell terrific

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    #24

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    ruth_allenx Report

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    Becca Gizmo the Squirrel
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Every time I go to run the dishwasher my husband insists on jumping in the shower and turns off the dishwasher. Then later I go to unload it and it isn't clean. Well it happens at least once a week anyway.

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    #27

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    Foley_Me Report

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    Claire Ellingford
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can't stop laughing ....!! Wish you Scots would visit Australia more; I'd pay good money to see some of you in a comedy show! That put a big smile on my face to start the day thanks!

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    #35

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    _marcjohnston7 Report

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    Munhu Afro
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ma..... ARGE. Marge Simpson. Mom? Goodness you nearly gave me a heart attack mom.

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    #36

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    BigLez67 Report

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    Stille20
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean, do what makes you happy... but I am silently judging.

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    #39

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    JosephObrien21 Report

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    Lucas
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Many people used to sign for things with a big X - you can sign how you like. As long as you recognise it - should it be necessary.

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    #44

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    brianmcguire95 Report

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    Xandra
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom used the poop emoji thinking it was a "chocolate cake". And put the salivating one next to it...

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    #48

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    Ryanp0rteous_ Report

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    Lucas
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Common problem. Not helped by them doing it wrong on the telly all the time. Watch House. He uses the wrong hand practically all the time (I think one episode it's pointed out by a physio...).

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    #52

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    dov97 Report

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    SeamusRGN
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    cos sean is an irish name and is spelled séan the accent on the e makes it fada(or long)

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    #54

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    TeiganMair Report

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    Kate Yeti
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel ya there, sis!! Luckily, I found a man that swaggered out of my kitchen in a full pirate costume, grabbed me by the waist, dipped me down and said in his best pirate voice, "Arrr, I'm ready to give up the sea, me love! Will ya marry me?" Find you one of those!! 🥰

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    #55

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    nizzyy_ Report

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    #56

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    Daniel__Leonard Report

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    Chris Jones
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When you can accelerate and brake at the same time it's probably not going to go well...

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    #57

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    PaulSlaven7 Report

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    #58

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    anna_leighton Report

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    Chris Jones
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "They think 2 of the daughters are actually me with and without make up" - that doesn't mean what you think it does.

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    #59

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    jay_0382 Report

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    M O'Connell
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is that a lunch hamster, or a dinner hamster? Does it come with a beverage?

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    #61

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    connorbrennan_ Report

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    #62

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    chibbed Report

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    #64

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    katmcgoldrick Report

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    #65

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    currie_max Report

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    Stille20
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    LOL! I have to read these slowly to totally get them, but that one was worth it. Like a Scottish flavored dad joke

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    #69

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    CallumStewart93 Report

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    Chris Jones
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I expect he got sent there... to be fair it is a very weird aisle.

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    #71

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    MegaHeid Report

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    #72

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    montyyyy17 Report

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    Lucas
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Chippies were banned at an office I worked in... think it was because they just smelled too good.

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    #75

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    Y2SHAF Report

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    PotatoNinja5000
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm a bit worried. The Harry Potter fandom hasn't found this entry yet. Hope they're okay.

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    #78

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    kylemcgrath94 Report

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    Astrid Nineor
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Would that even work? (Be accepted) ? Seems unlikely nowdays

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    #80

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    stevencarr123 Report

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    Nicky OldfieldDesciple
    Community Member
    4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At least he bought her a card. I had to remind my dad when it was my mother's birthday and buy her card and present for him with the €20 he gave me for them EVERY YEAR. If it went over the €20 had to pay the balance despite him having a well aid job and I was on the dole.

    #81

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    lewisbirch98 Report

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    #84

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    MRNCFC Report

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